our spend!

OMG.
i just clicked ignore requests.
209 times.
on facebook.
dammit.
now my arm is aching.
they should have a mass ignore function.
GRR.

am ordering from hollister (:
beams.
new jackets.
i like (:

ortho today.
(:
was in and out in like 10.
so that was relatively pleasant.
except perhaps for the yellow plasticine pieces stuck in my teeth x(

and then more shopping (:
mum basically wiped out all the cash in her wallet.
so u get the idea.

and today.
i received a really really really sweeeeeeet email (:
boo! parrot! (:
sugar to the heart.

and so.
clara is going to stone.
she likes her book very much.

yesterday evoked quite abit of odddd emotions.
well. i know why.
but the emotions were wayyyy odd.
for even myself to explain.

it's not as though i haven been through this scenario a million times.
it's just that im being myself.
always saying.
it's ok.
one more try.
and then tries after tries.
it just wears me thin.

so u know what.
ive used up that one more try.
and that.
is my promise to myself.

response or not.
it's going to be what im going to deal with.
so thank you, goodbye, or not.
at least ive said what i wanted to say.

............................................

and thank you to the mr for spending like an hour on the phone with me (:
u never fail to make me smile again.
BEAMS.
3 days.

alright. off to bake.
TATA.

guess what i found!
my journal from my trip to wmc and my backpacking trip around europe.
wasnt much of a pleasant experience...
well. not the backpacking.
but the fact that it wasnt a good period.
tensions. fights. quarrels. paranoia. insensitivity.
and not eliminating the possibility of a breakup anytime during that period.
i think that was essentially what made it so bad.
especially during the wmc period with nyp.

glimpsed.
yeah.
the first week was just THRASH.
but then it got better.
talks out in the cold with my favourite uncle agony (:
hahaha.
and then just looking past everything.
cause everyone was there.
(:

well. europe.
was ok i guess.
i would definitely want to do europe again.
like a. decent. trip.
one day.
(:

but right now (:
I AM FLYING IN 4 days people.
and that just makes me really really really happy (:
just the thought of being with someone special.
in a distant place.
where no one knows us.
and we know no one.
no expectations.
full of wild dreams.
(:
just the way.
a holiday should be.
content.

it's so strange.
that i just don want to do anything.
except wait for days to pass.
i get irritated if i have to stay out.
i get distracted if i have to go out.
i think it's all part of this thing.
called.
anticipation.

alright people.
im leaving to a land of make beelifffffffff.
(:

i always tell myself to blog decently.
but then everytime i look at this page.
i get like a mental block.
HMM..

STRANGE.
anyhoos.
peeps. im back in singapore.
haven told anyone. except the mr agony.
and now yue and addie.
but thennnnn.
for all u people out there (:
it's not that clara's not wanting to go out with u all.
it's just that this week's been jammmmmmm packed.
with nonsense.
and this gurl is offfffffffffff to chinaaaaaaa. (:
so she'll see all when she's back again (:

okk.
am distracted again.
waiting for the mrrrrr to come online.
SO TA.

to be happy ever after you.

so many things have happened.
and im not going to blog about them.

this is just a random post to tell all.
that im still alive. (:

i haven been on msn for the past month.
haven blogged for about slightly less than one.

BUT.
im still alive (:

maybe one day i'll sit and blog.
maybe.

you woke me up from my dream.
goodbye.

i am.
happy (:

i really hope the 9th will be very very special (:
it does sound and look very promising.
so i hope it is (:

short post.
cause im intoxicated.
and im happy (:

so goodnight.

mr lee,
i have many thoughts.
many things that are running through my head now.
and i cant seem to put them in place.

i feel like ive once again.
disappointed you.
and it hurts alot.
to know that.
the person i love so dear.
has to go through this once again.
for me.

but u know what.
this time.
im not walking away.
ill be right here.
waiting for you.
i'll be right here.
for us.

so please.
don ever give up.
because,
all will be well.

you can ask me how.
but onli time will tell (:

i feel like im in a dream (:
and i don ever want to wake up.
let me hold you by my side.
for now.
and ever.

.lionel lee. says:
u know.
.lionel lee. says:
if 6 mths, 1 yr, 2 yrs and 10 yrs down the road
.lionel lee. says:
u can look back on it and say
.lionel lee. says:
"gosh. lionel really did love me alot."
.lionel lee. says:
i'd say its all worth it.

EGO.
but true.
yes, mr hydrant.
i do love u alot as well.

"i promise
i'll cover you"

and that's good enough for me (:
sp 1206i.

song of the day,

avril.keep holding on.

youre not alone
together we stand
i'll be by ur side
u know i'll take ur hand
when it gets cold
and it feels like the end
there's not place to go
u know i wont give in
i wont give in

keep holding on
cause u know we'll make it through
just stay strong
cause u know im here for you
there's nothing u can say
nothing u can do
there's no other way
when it comes to the truth
keep holding on
cause u know we'll make it through

so far away
i wish u were here
before it's too late
this could all disappear
before the doors close
and it comes to an end
with you by my side
i'll fight and defend
i'll fight and defend

keep holding on
cause u know we'll make it through
just stay strong
cause u know im here for you
there's nothing u can say
nothing u can do
there's no other way
when it comes to the truth
keep holding on
cause u know we'll make it through

Hear me when I say
when I say I believe
Nothing's gonna change
nothing's gonna change destiny
Whatever's meant to be
will work out perfectly

keep holding on.

and my favourite line.
" with you by my side,
i'll fight and defend (: "

sugar.rush.
sweetness.

.........................................................

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
this is getting really scary.
ive been waking up really early post exam.
HMM.
WEIRD.

anyways.
i shall not waste time blogging nonsense.
the purpose of this post.

was just to tell a certain someone in singapore right now,
that i miss him (:

if i just lay here
would u lie with me,
and just forget the world.

"time heals what reason cuts"

apt.

i wanted to watch sunrise today.
but it was bleak and cold and rainy.
you get my point.
so i sat on my big pillow.
and watched the rain.
and felt very safe and protected.
and. i did abit of thinking.
but that's that.

i feel like drawing up a list of i like tos and i dont like tos.
so here goes.

i like.
to do random things.
to talk to people.
to watch the rain.
to sit around and do nothing.
to think in the shower.
to listen to sad songs.
to watch dramas.

and i leave with one dislike.
i dont like.
to be ignored.

well..
i wished i woke up bright and chirpy.
but u know what.
im not feeling very good right now.
i wanted to talk about how good dinner was yesterday.
i wanted to talk about what im going to do.

but right now.
all i want.
is my day to get better.

sometimes i wonder.
how long i can do this.
but other times.
i marvel at what life has to offer.

hey...
everyone has their ups and downs.
i think i just met my down today.

well.
yeah.
so till then.
there's perhaps one person who knows how to make my day better.
but oh well.
maybe.
i dont know.

OMGGGGGGGGGG.
i am liberated.

and so.
i stayed all the way till the end of exam today.
for once.
and it was literally amusing to see the reactions of everyone.
u know.
this stats paper.
it doesnt matter whether u studied.
cause even if u did.
u'd probably go.
what the shit as well.

and i felt like killing myself.
honestly.
because.
i thought the formula sheet was just like any other formula sheet
that gives random equations and no titles.
and weird symbols.
so guess what.
clara went to memorise her equations.
TMD.
and they gave the whole freaking revision notes.
FREAK.
and in the end.
it made me very very confused.
and here's an example.
X=(with d underneath) (140,10^2)
i.e. sigma^2 is 10^2
and micro whatever is 140.

and the FIRST DAMN question goes.
FIND THE MEAN.
and clara went. uh-huh.
140?
and then her brain thought.
cant be so easy.
they said FIND.
and then for the rest of the paper she confused herself with x- and micro.
and then they went.
FIND SD.
and i was like.
wtf.
10?

btw. the answers were correct.
but i looked at them for 10 mins.
because they looked too good to be true.
but u know what.
that was about the end of anything easy on that paper.

HAHAHAHAHA.
it was so difficult.
it was hilarious.
and the guy next to me.
totally gave up.
he wrote one number.
and then he looked around for 10 mins.
and then he wrote another number.

while i.
took a 10 min break before attempting the lamda question.
i also spent quite abit of time looking through the stats book.
because.
not being able to use a calculator is not funny.
especially when u have square roots.
and nonsense things.
HOHOHO.
too many 95% CI questions.
i looked at them.
and i wanted to laugh.

oh well..
i just wanted to say all that.
because it was sourly funny.
ohhhhhh.
look at the sarcasm.

anyhoos.
im off to bed (:
post exam nap.

and then.
to memorise 59 choreo.

Harry says:
harrrrrrrrry loves claraaaaaaaa =)
Harry says:
hahahaaa
claralyn, says:
hello guo momo!
Harry says:
tks for bringing the night to me
claralyn, says:
clara loves harry too! (:
Harry says:
i love it i love it =)
claralyn, says:
haha
claralyn, says:
im glad u did (: (:

these kinds of things make my day (:

and of course (:
my kids (:
they bring a hugeeeeeeeee grin to my face.

and random talks, mr busy.
makes clara smile as well (:
maybe one day i would like to stay in ur pocket (:

and ms yuen,
our quality time soon! (:
aka. in about after 24 hours (:

and so.
i leave with.
a poem that was written by one of my reasons to smile, elina.

Flander Fields are fields with poppies
people sit and cry
we try to remember the ones we've loved
and the ones who've died.
they fought for our country
and tried to set peace
for those that died
we speak in pride
their spirits now released

okk.
so hot shower works.
and im thinking more logically now.

so here goes.

whatever i couldn put into words last night over the phone.

hello you,
i really do miss how we used to spend so much time together.
everyday, doing something random.
or just bullying each other at ur place.
but now.
it just seems that we're both trying to prove something.
that doesnt even exist.
i thank you for trying. to change.
and in midst of that.
i am trying my best as well.
but in the process.
i hope you are still you.
the one i can count on for anything.
the one i can talk to without hesitating a single bit.
the one i can hold to sleep just because.
the one who accepts me as who i am.
the one i love so much.

i want my friend back.
i miss him alot.
do you think you can help me look for him?

with hugs and kisses,
shuji.

i woke up this morning feeling incredibly tired.
like i havent slept in days. x(

i have a lot to say.
but it's really inappropriate to say it here.
and i don really want to think about
how to phrase my words at this current moment.

perhaps i count on the people in my life too much.
to sit and listen to me ramble on.
about nonsense that i just want to say.

but sometimes i hesitate.
because it's hard to put those thoughts into words.
and relay it to the right person at the right time.

i dont know really.
i think im just grumpy.
cause i didn get good sleep.
sighhhhhh.

a nice hot shower should do the trick.
till then.

"i just needed someone to talk to"

so,
mr guo mo mo,
happy 21st (: (: (:
i hope u enjoyed ur day and ur presents (:
I LOVE YOU LOTS!

i had a bad dream x(
i woke up at 5.
blehhhh.

it involved me panicking.
cause i overslept for an afternoon exam.
x(
my exam was supposed to be at 5.30.
and i woke up at 7.30.
and then i called mummy.
and then i was really afraid i had to take supp paper.
x(

oh gawd.
i really did feel my heart drop.
x(

alright.
time to wash up.
and start a gloomy rainy day well.

im very excited.

here.
THIS IS HILARIOUS.

wiggles says:
the KNN moth dropped on my carpet this morning while i was prep. to go out
claralyn, says:
like it died?
wiggles says:
i think i killed it well and good
claralyn, says:
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
wiggles says:
i smacked it again and again and again
claralyn, says:
OMG
claralyn, says:
moths are good!
wiggles says:
no i'm convinced this one is evil
claralyn, says:
HAHAHA!
wiggles says:
it made me shriek yesterday
wiggles says:
and today
claralyn, says:
HAHAHAHAHA!
claralyn, says:
ehh
claralyn, says:
this really has to go on my blog
claralyn, says:
HAHAHA
wiggles says:
hahaha NO!
claralyn, says:
it is!
wiggles says:
tt's defammation!

AND GUESS WHAT I FOUND!!!!
the song!
(:
the version i have is faster.
but anyhoos.
enjoy!

i.
had a good day today (:
like.
it was genuinely good.

in conclusion.
i. like.

i really want to post this song ive been listening to over and over again.
but then the lyrics are inappropriate.
because it goes.
stop stop stop stop it i like it.
stop stop stop stop it feels good.
youre so wrong
im getting excited.
please dont stop.
even though you should.

ok. there. i posted it (:
and it REALLY does sound inappropriate.
heh heh.
oh well.
i think it's MEANT to be what ure thinking of now.
(:
i don know who the singer is.
because it's a ba song.
but it's a nice song.
lots of drums. trumpets.
makes u wanna grooooooooooove.

okkkkkkkk.
coffee in about...
half an hour?
wiggggles.
i have a craving.
for something.
haven figured out what.
hmmmmmmmmmmm.

i remain a happy gurl.
(:

in the heart of every gurl,
there is a rose for every spring
(:

and so.
clara. was up at 7 (:
proud?

(:
and she saw a dance class (:
which was. wow. (:
honestly. i was really intrigued.
by how a dancer's upper body is literally detached from their lower body.
DAMMIT.
i wish i could move my body seperately.
or at least get some movement in the lower body going.



anyhoos.
here. goes my very very un-updated post about
marksim. (:
here goes (:
this guy. i really really wanted to watch when i was in singapore.
but had a concert on the day of his concert x(
like his debut concert.
BLEH.

hopefully.
he's still performing.
somewhere.
and hopefully in melbourne some time (:

anyhoos.
oyster bar on sunday (:
not jap this time round.
but yeshhh.
it should be preeeeeeeeeeedy darn good.
am really really really excited.
ARE YOU HARRY (:

i want to play mahjong x(
blehhhh.
like.
really itching to play mahjong.

ok. time to go.
TA.
really random post.

"dreams were all i ever knew
dreams, you wont need when im through"
from the greatest musical of all.

today was an alright day for me i guess.
it started off. at the mr's.
where a hugeous maximus fly and moth scared the hell out of us.
when u hear shrieks, it's generally not a good thing.
i love you, mr.
as much as we irritate the hell out of each other.
and sometimes u make me a sui long tou.
and sometimes u are overly sarcastic.
but.
catch us when we fall.
and we'll meet in the middle (:
WILL YOU GIVE ME A HUG.

after that.
i caught up with kev and ash.
and we spent 3 hours talking about nonsense (:
which was good.
well. not really nonsense.
we shall just label it as. CATCHING UP.
but i do enjoy their company lots (: (:
more coffeeeeeeee outings next time (:
and today. i found a new combination.
that works like magic.
peppermint tea with vanilla syrup (:
Oooooooooooh. heaven.
and maybe the owner who is this really nice guy (:
will put it on his list some time (:
dearest people. i do miss you lots (:
today just totally reminded me of the time where we sat in a cafe for 6 straight hours.
and went crazy at lygon (:
i did like that quite alot (:
LALA! when are u going to join us!

and then. after that.
i met the mr.
and we went around town.
well. almost. (:
to do STUFFS.
hahahaha.
but yeah.
everything's done. and settled.

and then.
i barely got home.
when i found out that my clothes arrived (:
excitement. (: (: (:
i like having surprises.

but. i didnt have time to try them x(
cause i was going for david's class.
you know.
even after almost THREE whole months of not going fitness first.
it didnt feel like anything changed.
well. the onli thing is that. harry. pronolo and jo werent there to do attack with us.
today's class was insanely HUGE.
like. monday evening huge.
and that's just crazy.
the mirrors were fogging up.
up to a point where u couldn even see urself in the mirror.
basically that's when i lost motivation to do anything x(
but still.
i had a good workout.

and gymming makes me feel happy.
like it some how releases endorphines.
i honestly should go more often.
i used to use gymming to achieve some balance.
cause for some reason. i feel so calm and hmm. more calmness in the gym.
hahaha.
but then teaching took over for a while.
and then i just got lazy.
not a valid excuse.
but yeah.
I WILL GET BACK INTO MY ROUTINE SOON.

alright.
i really feel like baking.
but im don really wanna go all the way to laguna to get ovalette x(
oh well.
i might just go.
i don know.
maybe.
yeah. i should.
cupcakes maybe.
ahhhh. nah.
not today.

and im off.

u think u know a person so well.
but u know what.
this person can darn well.
place the bombs where u least expect them to be.

it fucking hurts.
i don know what to say.
but im feeling really quite hurt.
really quite freaking hurt.

right now.
i don need anyone to understand how i feel.
or what im thinking.
i just need to be alone.
to cry it out.
and realise.
something.

im going out.
i need air.

even if. lea salonga.

All those sleepless nights
All the tears I cried
All the pain I kept inside
I kept asking myself why
You had to say goodbye

Was it just a dream
When you said to me
That there is someone new in your life
You could have at least lied
The truth just scared me

Chorus:
Even if...
You mean the whole damn world to me
I can forget you, wait and see
I can be strong even without you
I cant waste my life forever
Hoping youd come back to me
But deep inside I know
Ill be waiting here for you

(instrumental)

Even if...
You mean the whole damn world to me
I can forget you, wait and see
I can be strong even without you
I cant waste my life forever
Hoping youd come back to me
But deep inside I know
Ill be waiting here for you

no. special reason.
but this song just makes me cry.
and right now.
i really do want to cry.
nothing to do with love.
nothing to do with relationships.
but i really do just want to cry.

i am happy (:
i like centre days.

u know what's even better.
my kids make me smile (:
from my heart.
really really really adore them to bits and pieces.
it's not onli my focus students.
but mainly them (:
they're the root to my happiness (:

...........................................

spoke to naz until 1 last night.
but it made me happy (:
and we REALLY did sound like we were just 10 mins away from each other.
HAHAHA.
yes mr.
you're THAT important (:
and just because life is a little harsh on u.
doesnt mean u shouldn fight for what u believe in (:

...........................................

im having a really bad conversation.
almost boiling down to a quarrel.
so this post has to continue another day.

"sly slutty old rat.. you're trying to cover up your insolence, ur defiance, ur laziness, ur apathy, ur lethargy and ur bad attitude... -rips up articles-"

i think this video made quite a big deal a while ago.
i would have SCREAMED.
if i put in the effort to compile some article. even if it meant shit to her.
and then see it get ripped up.
the point being.
that guy actually DID that damn thing.
if he were that "insolent, defiant, lazy" thing that was described.
he wouldn even have DONE that damn thing.
i detest from the bottom of my heart.
people who cannot appreciate what others do.
just because something is not done up to your standard,
doesnt mean the person didnt try.

OMG.
this is the reason why im so glad.
i didn have to survive 2 years in jc.

and we thought.
OUR gp tutor was bad enough.
with the sarcasm and the attitude.

this totally reminds me of this chinese teacher i had in primary school.
who used to throw the books out of the class if the corrections were not complete.
or the work was not done.
or it was messy.
or SOMETHING.
basically. when she wasnt in a good mood.

and a couple of humanities teachers in secondary school.
who used to give us the attitude just because they werent happy about their own stuffs.

i think. this onli comes to prove one thing.
that the teachers.
are either going crazy from handling the stress from school.
or theyve just lost the passion to teach.

the singapore education system.
maybe it's time to look into some change.
the stress. the pressure.
it's not onli the students who are feeling it.

"if not the only thing u'll be able to afford is the ticky-tocker piano thing"

HAHAHAHA!

it is SOOOOOOO hot.
i am at home.
with the aircon blowing at full blast.
but im still perspiring x(
maybe i should shut the blinds x(
blehhh.

anyhoos.
i really do like my phone quite abit (:
and i cannot stop playing with it.
for no particular reason.

sorrrrrrrrrrrries to kev and ash!
FRI! (: (:
i will remember!
(: (:
verve. 2pm.
IVE GOT THAT DOWN!

and to harry too x(
blabbers.
i cant make it for lunch tomorrows x(
but i'll see u on sun! (:

u know.
i was looking through some sites just now.
and i really want to buy a piano here.
(i know i know. my plans to buy a marimba never materialised)
but it's so ex x(
and i don just wanna rent it.
and i don want a digital clavinova.
so. i shall try to save (:
hopefully. sometime next year.
i would get a piano (:
and no. im not going to ask daddy to fund my expenses on materialistic gains.
BUT.
i do miss the missy back at home (:
i hope she's been given tender loving care.
does anyone. know of a cheap deal here in melb.
a decent. doesnt have to be fabulously good. upright.
because when i go back.
it has to go to a new family as well.

and so.
conversations on facebook with harry z. made me think about the life i had before.
and i have to admit.
it was sort of fun.
although my social life was severely affected.
which is partly the reason why i am socially retarded.
i spent 7 hours a day practicing and at band practs.
2 hours at suppers after practs.
10 hours sleeping. and the rest doing nonsense.
6 days of band practs a week.
juggling 3 bands at the same time. whilst guest playing around.
with an average of 1-2 concerts every week.
but then. it still made me a happy gurl (:
because i got to bond with my largely brown wood patches (:
and that makes me happy.
and then came the largely silver pieces (:
that meant. more concerts.
and more practs.
and then my biggest moment in kerkrade. (:

i was my own star in this tiny music scene.
the pride. the honour.
but u know what.
getting out of it.
made me realise.
im honestly. nobody in this world (:
and that gives me reason to strive for something more than i would ever have.
and perhaps.
that's the reason why i don think it was such a waste that i stopped playing.
(:

if all of u out there.
were wondering.
the reason why.

THIS. is the song for the week (:
been on repeat for the past hour.
and still going.

jack johnson. better together.

There's no combination of words
I could put on the back of a postcard
No song that I could sing
But I can try for your heart
Our dreams, and they are made out of real things
Like a, shoebox of photographs
With sepiatone loving
Love is the answer,
At least for most of the questions in my heart
Like why are we here? And where do we go?
And how come it's so hard?
It's not always easy and
Sometimes life can be deceiving
I'll tell you one thing it's always better when we're together

MMM it's always better when we're together
Yeah, we'll look at the stars when we're together
Well, it's always better when we're together
Yeah, it's always better when we're together

And all of these moments
Just might find their way into my dreams tonight
But I know that they'll be gone
When the morning light sings
And brings new things
For tomorrow night you see
That they'll be gone too
Too many things I have to do
But if all of these dreams might find their way
Into my day to day scene
I'd be under the impression
I was somewhere in between
With only two
Just me and you
Not so many things we got to do
Or places we got to be
We'll Sit beneath the mango tree now

It's always better when we're together
Mmmm, we're somewhere in between together
Well, it's always better when we're together
Yeah, it's always better when we're together

I believe in memories
They look so, so pretty when I sleep
Hey now, and when I wake up,
You look so pretty sleeping next to me
But there is not enough time,
And there is no, no song I could sing
And there is no, combination of words I could say
But I will still tell you one thing
We're better together.

this black beauty is mine (:
i initally wanted to get the k950i.
BUT.
it wasnt nice in real life x(
blabbers.
so.
i settled for this.
which is sleek.
and.
nice.

not 5 mega pixels.
BUT.
ultimately.
still a very decent phone (:

so.
i shall go play with the shaking features (:
im intrigued.

i am boiling with anger.
really.
boiling.

i got home this morning.
u know what.
i don even wanna bother explaining anything.
im just pissed off.

and i don think i can stand this very much longer.
fug.

wtf.
like even SOME sort of responsibility would be good.
im done.
totally ruined my day.
i wished u had some jie ai.
self.r.e.s.p.e.c.t.

fug.

WHEEEEEEEEE.
i am currently sitting around doing nothing.
while the mr is cooking (:
hoho.

i have a nagging feeling im going to get grumpy soon x(
i didn get my post exam nap x(
blabbers.

and so.
i like it when i prepare for my exams.
hahaha.
at least today's paper wasnt like the physics one.

so. anyhoos.
i had a good day at work.
when i say good.
i mean really good. (:
i like my kids (:
alot.

ok.
dinner is ready.
TA.

to zanarkand.
marvel at the perfection.

i had initally wanted to place a video of maksim.
and talk about how he and musicians like vanessa mae and yanni changed what classical music's all about.
but then.
i was reading my archives.
and i saw this.
and it HAD to just appear again.

because listening to it.
makes my hair stand.
and when that happens.
i know that the music is darn good.

(:
i didnt get a chance to watch the last time i went back.
but.
if anyone knows if they're playing in melb.
please tell me.
i haven heard such fine music in a longggggg time.

so. anyhoos.
i got to unwind abit today.
which was good.

and it just made me think about.
the billions of choices we have to make.
every step we take.
hmm.

it's strange sometimes.
that u can be left at crossroads.
stranded. helpless. lost.
but u could also.
just assume ur chances.
which would you take?

honestly.
it doesnt really matter.
as long as ultimately.
u take the road.
and not look back to regret it.

pros and cons are there to scare you.
but that doesnt mean that reality would not come back to haunt you.

oh dearr.
im rambling.
but these random thoughts are just going through my head.
too quickly for the poor little brain to process.

oh wells.
i conclude.
life will always be life.
one crossroad.
and the next one is not far up ahead.
it's how we deal with it.
that makes life vodka with a dash of lime. (:

black or white.
it doesnt really exist.
i live in a piece of grey.

you would never imagine.

"love me for a reason
let the reason be love"

and so.
im reallllllly tired from my paper x(
and from attack at rmit.
which involved me running home to burn cds.
and. pronolonolo is on her way home x(
i want to go home too.

i like my striped room.

and we spent lunch talking about what we're going to do when harry and jo come over.
and it sounds preedy exciting already (:
i heard we're going to siloso (:
ooooooooooh.
the last time i went sentosa.
was
back when fantasy island was still around (:
HAHAHAHA.
i really am prehistoric.
hmmm.
and then there is our regular eating places.
holland v. acid bar. clubbing.
and the zoooooooooooooo! (:
i always like the zoo.
animals make me happy.
and esplanade to watch a concert too!
i hope that. tokyo kosei will happen to have a concert around then (:
oooooooooooooh.

and so.
my trip home sounds packed already.
hopefully my mummy plans taiwan trip somewhere where it doesnt clash.
and then hongkong should be in the first week of feb.
before chinese new year.
and then phuket.
should just fit in somewhere (:
and of course.
down to jb.
for seafood! (:

and maybe.
i will be coming back to melb with harry (:
in feb.

dingtaifeng. sushitei. theline. fishnco. crystaljade. chompchomp. simpang. newton. grapevine. thaiexpress. buffets@mandarin. shima@goodwood. coca.
WAIT FOR ME.
i'll be back.

i think. this trip will seem like the 5 day trip back in may?
hmm.
everything's so packed.
with meetings here and there (:



and so.
i grabbed this from my brother's blog.
esplanade.
i like how the lights reflect on the water.
and i think this was one of his earlier shots.

and so.
i am leaving melb on the 17th dec.
confirmed.
there might be a stopover in sydney or tasmania first.
but hopefully not this time around.
(:

i cannot wait for daddy and mummy to come over (:
cause i miss them so.
this will be one week of undisturbed family loving. (:
beams.

but now.
2 down.
2 to go.

and so.
i am home from a nice dinner/supper at chilli padi (:
i like.

AND GUESS WHAT.
i finally got to eat the oreo cheesecake in the cup (: (:
BEAMS.
am going to explode.
i am so full.

and jo called me just now.
to tell me that.
because it's 7/11 day,
u get free slurpee at 7/11 just for saying
HAPPY SEVEN ELEVEN DAY.
hahaha.

but i was too full to try that.
although im a huge sucker for icy things.
like fruit freezes and slurpees (:

okkk.
having dinner at 10.
is so not.
advisable.
now im too full to lie down x(
blabbers.

and our initial plan to go max brenners.
was ruined by the fact that melbourne is still celebrating pre-post melbourne cup.
x(

ok.
heading to the showers.
and back to the thing i hate most.
starts with a p.
ends with an s.
has hysic in the middle.
SIGH.

this is what i get for procrastinating.

that post was not very nice.
HMM.

but anyhoos.
plans made for taiwan, hongkong and phuket this holidays.
and hopefully japan (:
and nz next june.

BUT.
clara wants to go to the hamilton islands x( x(
possibly in march.
during easter hols.
which happens to fall around my birthday next year (:
does anyone wanna go?

it's such a beautyyyyyy....

BEFORE.




AFTER.



this. has. driven. me. to. the. point. of. no. return.
FUG.
i return home after 3 days.
to see. the damn house. in a ball of mess.
FUG.
and no.
i didn use the freaking kitchen at all.
since the last time i cleaned it up.
and no.
im not going to clean up this time.
because.
ive cleaned up all these time.
hoping that for once.
i can return to a nice clean house.
but u know what.
that doesn seem like it's going to happen.
and right now.
im p.i.s.s.e.d off.
FUG.
some responsibility would be good.

THIS. is living proof.
to show my mum that i HAVE to live alone.
if not.
i'll just die of insanity.

because she's preedy.
and she sings well.



(:
james morrison. you give me something.
marie digby.

go listen to her (:
really really really charismatic.

this song. really reminds me of perth. (:
THIS COULD BE NOTHING, JO.

i just woke up from my 4 hour post exam sleep.
and im happy.
and i had good kimchi soup.
so.
i am a really.
satified.
and happy gurl (:

ok. im doing it again.
my incoherent blogging during exam period.
HAHAHA.
dammit.

i like kimchi soup.
alot.

i am really satisfied after sleeping (:
really.
satisfied.

im blogging nonsense.
and i really didnt do anything today. (:
i read 4 pages of fluids.
and it's boring. ALREADY.
trust me.
sighhh.

this HAS to be my last sem doing phys, chem and stats.
if it issnt.
i'll just crash and cry.
x( x( x(

and im beginning to think that no one is going to be taking the same subs as me next year.
HMM.
that's bad.
except pathology which hopefully li-en would take.
HMMMM.

OKK.
im going to stone and die.
(:

WIGGLES.
i am a very happy gurl right at this present moment.
because.
i am home from my bio paper.
and u know what?

section d. question 4.
describe the evolution of the species australopithecus to homo sapiens.
there's a second part to this. but i cant remember what it was about.

there goes.
10 marks.
REFER TO PREVIOUS POST (: (: (:

i am very happy.
this is about the first time. ive decided to memorise something and it actually came out.
as memorised.

anyhoos.
off to the showers.
and then to watch attack 59 (:
EXCITING.
and so. we all decided not to take the combat course (:
hahaha.
but i hope kristy offers the step and balance course (:
i'd take that.

anyhoos.
today.
i thought i really had to walk very far to reb nicholson cause the citycircle and 24 and 30 trams were disrupted due to melbourne cup.
and so.
i left at 845.
u know what.
i arrived at 850.
busked in the sun.
felt really hot.
and then had to burn somemore.
and finally.
got into the freezing cold hall.
and then shivered and bounced while trying to write like 7 essays.

but that's about as bad as it would go (:
so im still happy.

and so.
i dedicate this post to australopithecus afarensis.
here's lucy.

because. i really am very early.
i shall just go through some of the essay questions again.
(:
i think u really should ignore this post.

Human evolution.
There were 7 species of hominids that existed over 4 million years ago.
The first of the hominids were found in west africa - the Australopithecus Afarensis. this species had a smaller brainsize compared to homo sapiens, averaging around 400-500 cm^3. However, there was evidence that this species walked erect and had teeth itermediate between apes and humans, proving that upright walking evolved before cranial development. The next of the hominids were the Australopithecus Africanus, which had a similar brain size to the A. Afarensis. It had a more humanly
liked skull shape and teeth. The Australopithecus Robustus evolved with a larger
built. As evolution took place, the brain capacity of the hominids also increased. In the Homo Habilis, there was a larger brain capacity (about 500-800cm^3) and the use of stone tools were also a significant development. The next species, homo erectus also showed some elaborate use of stone tools, and a large brain capacity of 1000cm^3 with a robust built with an average height of 1.8m. The last of the hominids - homo sapeins, or commonly known as humans were developed to have a cranial capacity of 1400cm^3.

ok. before i leave for my exam.

rna splicing.
In the transcription of rna, the gene is spilt into different sections with the regulatory site, initiation site, coding region and the termination site. The primers are bounded to the regulatory site which allows the activation of the transcription. the rna strand is then synthesised in 3 processes - initiation, elongation and termination. The synthesised rna is the primary transcript where exons and introns are embedded within the strand. splicing sites which are found in between exons and introns exist and they splice the introns out of the transcribe. This leaves the exons which hold valuable information toward the polypeptide it is coding for. The mature transcript therefore, holds no introns but only exons.

last one.
ascomycota -> sexual -> ascospore
asexual -> conidia

zygomycota -> sexual -> zygospore
asexual -> sporangiospores

basidiomycota -> sexual -> basidiospore
asexual -> uncommon

TATA.
off to exam i go.

i am going crazy.
i am crazy.
i am going crazy.
i am crazy.

u know what.
i don really know.

what i do know.
is that my brain has reached it's maximum capacity.
and it really is screaming for help.

u know ure saturated.
when u stare at a page of numbers which u normally go through in ur head without the answers.
feeling lost.
u know ure saturated.
when u turn. and u feel ur brain move.
u know ure saturated.
when u take time to process something.
but still don get it in the end.
u know ure saturated.
when u just say yes to everything.
u know ure saturated.
when u cannot articulate ur dinner order.

OK.
u get the point.

i practically didnt survive today at work.
which is bad.
and it should be my responsibility to do my stuffs.
and it just wasnt a good decision to work today.
i. was. in. a. zone.
which i find somewhat amusing. (at this present moment)
but. not so amusing when im trying to work.
but all my head can really process are random words.
like.
heterodisomy and isodisomy.
and then.
hardy weinberg decided to play a prank on me too.
and then came.
ascomycota and basidiomycota.
u know what scared me?
australopithecus afarensis and A. africanus.

OK. NOT FUNNY AT ALL.
it IS freaky.

i say.
i know why scientists turn crazy.

this really sounds strange.
but i really hope tomorrow comes soon.
while everyone's in nice hats and party frocks.
i'd be in sweat pants at reb.
writing my ass off.



just in case u wanted to know.
why my brain's feeling this urge to explode.
and to spend a bit more time revising.
here goes.
my trial essay.

dna replication is semiconservative, whereby the parental strand remains as one half of the newly formed strand. in order for the replication to take place, helicase binds to the dna strand and separates the two strands. primers then attach themselves to the 3' end of the strand in order to synthesise the new strand in the 5' to 3' direction. polymerase binds to the primers to allow the addition of mucleotide bases. The strands are complementary (a-t, c-g). the leading strand is then synthesized. for the other strand, known as the lagging strand, primers bind to various regions of the parental strand. with polymerase, nucleotides are added and short fragments called okazaki fragments are formed in the 5' to 3' direction. The primers and polymerase then release themselves from the parental strand and gaps are filled with free nucleotide bases. also, in order to relive supercoiling, topoisomerase is present.

that's about it.

one last thing.
mr lee,
no matter how much u make me cry.
or how siu long tou-ish i am to u.
and how much u scold me.
and how much i make u irritated.
i still love you very much.
BTW.
stop calling me siu long tou.
I AM NOT!

oh. since im blogging incoherently anyways.
i should also mention that.
sammi gave us free coffee today (:
he really is quite a charming man.
NOT BECAUSE HE GAVE US COFFEE.
but. because he really is rather charismatic.
and. i realised that.
i haven drank coffee in close to 3 years now (:
or even maybe more.

peppermint tea.
the way to go.

and so.
the pictures didn come out really well x(
but i'll do something about them.
soon.

BTW.
that is the view from my house. (:
beauty issnt it.

anyways.
im home for a while.
before i dig and bury my head into genetics.
AGAIN.
although. i do have to say.
this has been the most pleasant of all the times i had to study for bio.
i think im beginning to enjoy genetics.

but i know the next week is going to be HARD.
because it's things that are nonsense.
and irritatingly hard.

anyhoos.
last night's swim was goooooooooood.
as usual.
wiggles.
but that just drained all the energy out of me.
blabbers.
and i just sat in bed. correction. i didnt sit.
but anyhoos.
i was in bed for a nice long time.
before i actually dozed off.
and so. in the end.
we didnt play monopoly.

HMM.
and this morning.
we went to goodlife.
for an early session of attack.
it is really such a miracle.
that people bother to wake up on a rainy sunday morning.
blabbers.
i admire their persistence.

AND.
garth burnt us the cd!
thank you garth!

AND.
today was the launch.
attack 59 (:
WHICH.
we didnt go for.
DAMMIT.
what kind of instructors are we lahhh.
by that. i meant.
the fact that i forgot that today was the launch.

but. anyhoos.
i look forward to it in mr lee's mail.
and then into the vcd player.
and then into my head (:
WIGGLES.
launches all over the place after exams.
which is preedy exciting (:

ok. i am tired.
i need a nap.
SO TILL THEN.

clara is changing her blog template.
so please be patient. (:

it's late in the night.
and im going cranky.
literally.
cranky.

my brain's full of these random thoughts.
and it needs some kind of balance.

sometimes it's good to just have someone sleep beside you.
cause these stupid irritating thoughts just mysteriously go away.
* now dont be ego, mr.

for once.
i dont feel like thinking.
and these feelings just flood.
and imaginary thoughts just kill the night.

well. not so imaginary.
but. still.

and apparently.
cleaning up the house.
just. didnt. help.

wants a rewind button.
but i guess.
the night's just going to be very long.

i want to sit at the steps again.
i want to look into the sky again.
i want my tree to bloom again.
i want to sit in the spa and think.
i want to cry like no one has seen me cry.
i want to.
do alot of things.

you know.
i hate myself for not being able to face my past.
i hate the fact that the past has presented itself time and again.
but i still get affected by unrelated. unimportant things.
i hate the fact that i cant even stand up for myself.
even when i think it's right.
i envy those who stand up for what they truly believe.
i envy those who put their past behind them and live strong.
i envy. and i hate.
i guess im still human.

maybe.
im just scared.
maybe.
im changing too fast for me to catch up.
maybe.
i just dont want to think about it.
maybe.

because i have 10 mins.
i shall blog.

im very pleased.
although right now.
i have a dull headache.
that doesnt feel as though it's going to go away.
for quite awhile.
sighhh.

BUT.
today.
i met the most adorable twins.
THE MOST.
and i repeat that.
THE MOST. ADORABLE. TWINS.
oooooooooooh.
yesh.
they just reminded me so much of trevor and phaedra.
HAHAHA.
(:
disciplined. yet smart.
balance between fun and work.
i like.

i wish next time i would have twins too (:
kids make me happy.
kids make me smile.
kids make me forget my problems.
kids. are. kids.

ANYWAYS.
the headache is getting. bleh.
i think it's the late nights.
and the dragging myself out of bed bit.
late nights have been bad.
and very unkind to me.

AND i like compliments (:
although most of the time im just fishing for them.
.lionel lee. says:
ah. my small girl has grown up
claralyn, says:
(:
claralyn, says:
she has hasnt she
claralyn, says:
ARE YOU PROUD
claralyn, says:
ARE YOU PROUD

THAT. was absolutely random.
BUT.
oh wells.
i think everyone is stressed.
i think everyone is looking for solutions to nothing.
and that's bad.
ok. im generalising.

OK. OFF I GO.
from this totally random post.

"as long as stars shine down from heaven
and the rivers run into the seas
till the end of time forever
you're the onli love i need"

HAPPY HALLOWEENS.

and so.
i just spent the last 3 hours watching GA.
(:

i like.

and today.
i met up with wenona.
(: (:
after 9 years.
TIME FLIES.
and it was really really great just sitting down and catching up.
so many similarities.
heyyy. we dont really need guys.
nah-ah.

and then we were off to baillieu.
which was amazing crowded.
but i managed to get a seat at the comp cubicles.
which was a nice place to just sit alone and stone.
and study.
(:
finished bio.
SIGH OF RELIEF.

talked online with a few people i haven spoken or seen in ages.
and that felt good.
(:

and then home i went.
and met li-en on the way back.
and talked for like.
an hour or sth.
HAHAHA.
DIES.
WE ALL DO.

yesterday.
i had such a strange dream.
so real.
so scary.
too real.
no. no fun.
fun for a while.
then scary.
and so.
i slept at 3.
and onli woke up at 11.
and i didnt go swim with mr lees.

i realised after alot of thought.
that i don need testosterone in my life.
the testosterones and the estrogens just don mix very well.
therefore.
i am not flirting with anyone OR anything.
sometimes the wish for a cuddle or a kiss is great.
BUT.
i'll deal with that.

at least.
im still surviving.
and that's a good thing.

HEY. BE PROUD OF ME.

you know what made me happy?
my rmit attack class.
last session (:
but i do love the class.
(:

and the crowd today was so different (:
smiles everywhere.
less vocals.
but still (:
that was just.... Oooooooooooohs.
(:

(:
i might choose to teach next time.
i might.
but right now.
i'll sit back and see where i want this to go (:
but i'll miss the rmit class. (:
so today. i did the tracks that i liked (:
i asked them to find their miracle today.
but to me.
they're probably really my miracle.
from standing up on stage feeling uncomfortable through every single inch of my body.
jitters and butterflies.
to getting up on stage. and doing what i love so much.
minus the jitters and butterflies.
showing them who i am (:
i am proud to say.
ive grown.
i might not be the best instructor.
but the words dean said before we all walked out of the course.
is going to be there (:
FOREVER.
and that probably made me who i am on stage.

the click of the belt.
means. it's time to give it the best.
the start of the music.
means. it's time to have fun.
the end of the music.
means. satisfaction.

and to those who contributed to this little gurl who went on stage.
despite the pressures and insecurities she had.
THANK YOU.

and of course.
to pronolo and lionel.
who were there EVERY step of the way (:
XIE XIE NI MEN!

EHH. this really sounds toooooo serious.
but then. (:
I AM SAYING THANK YOU.
dammit.

and also.
another thing that brightened my not so illuminated day.
WAS. MARIO-LEO! (:
oooooooh!
have not seen him for the LONGEST time.
it is so cute to see his eyes twinkle like that.
(:

but. hoho.
(:
hopefully we'd go out for coffee or sth.
speaking of which.
i'd be meeting wenona tomorrow.
and i haven seen taht gurl for EONS.
9 years?
(:

my life needs change.
and.
i am getting some.

BTW,
does anyone want to watch phantom with me again?
yes yes yes?

today's GA:
" nothing is black or white "

and i end with my song for the day
"‘Cause I can breathe again, dream again
I’ll be on the road again
Like it used to be the other day
Now I feel free again, so innocent
‘Cause someone makes me whole again"

there's a feeling of nostalgia.
that. i refuse to face.

i felt my heart reduce to emptiness.
because this time it's not you.
this time those familiar words.
didnt mean us.

can i say i miss you.
in certain ways.
i just hate myself for doing.

i haven felt like this in a long time.
and i should onli blame myself for letting myself sink.
even our last memory.
couldn be perfect.

fragments of my memory.
triggers.
some of the most painful emotions.
im not going to lie to myself.
yes. i feel it.
i feel it hard.

but still.
im letting it go.
because it no longer has any meaning.
worth holding on to.

i know i have posted this somewhere before.
but because my dearest jie wants to know.
although i swear i probably posted this a thousand times already.
here goes.
the song that pieces me back together
when i fall.
the song that lifts me up
when i crash.
the song that brings a smile
when i cry.

ALL WILL BE WELL.
(gabe dixon band)

The new day dawns
And I am practicing my purpose once again
It is fresh and it is fruitful if I win
but if I lose, ooh, I don't know
I'll be tired but I will turn and I will go
Only guessing 'til I get there then I'll know
Ohh, I will know

And all the children walking home past the factories
Can see the light that's shining in my window
As I write this song to you
And all the cars running fast along the interstate
Can feel the love that radiates
Illuminating what I know is true

And all will be well
Even after all the promises you've broken to yourself
All will be well
You can ask me how but only time will tell

The winter's cold
But the snow still lightly settles on the trees
And a mess is still a moment I can seize until I know
That all will be well
Even though sometimes this is hard to tell
And the fight is just as frustrating as hell
All will be well

You got to keep it up
And don't give up
And chase your dreams
And you will find
All in time

And all will be well
Even after all the promises you've broken to yourself
All will be well
You can ask me how but only time will tell

I JUST HAVE TO POST THIS.
DIES.

claralyn, says:
ehh sir
claralyn, says:
one year ago lehh
claralyn, says:
my memory is as good as nothing
.lionel lee. says:
oh yea i forgot
.lionel lee. says:
u have memory of a goldfish
claralyn, says:
hahahaha
claralyn, says:
yeshhh
claralyn, says:
glad u remembered
claralyn, says:
hahaha
.lionel lee. says:
yea well i have to
.lionel lee. says:
if not u wouldn't
.lionel lee. says:
bahahahahaahhah
.lionel lee. says:
omgah i'm damn funny.
claralyn, says:
HAHAHAHAHHA!
claralyn, says:
ehh
claralyn, says:
that was actually FUNNY
.lionel lee. says:
of course. i AM funny!
claralyn, says:
HAHAHA
claralyn, says:
dwangs

OH DEARRRR.

Ooooooooh.
i like daylight saving.
quite a bit.
i like having more light.

and i realised i haven sat in front of my window to look out into the melbourne sky for a longggggggg time.
and it's really preedy.
or should i correct that.
i haven been home early enough to watch the sun set (:

i honestly.
should learn my choreo for tomorrow.
dies.

anyways.
work today... was without kids x(
but good nonetheless.

u know how it's strange that i enjoy working so much.
but the thought of working fulltime.
for the rest of my life
just SCARES me.
oh wells.

am listening to martin martini and the bone palace orc.
a new band that was intro-ed to me.
and they have really really interesting music (:
NAZ!
i think u will like it (:
now i really want to go to the jazz pub that we went (:
blabbers.

i am really blessed. (:
sorry.
random.
but yesh.
i am really really blessed.
and sometimes i know i take this blessing for granted.
but all this talk about being pampered.
being spoilt.
just made me realise even more that.
(:

and i am proud to say.
that i am blessed (:
in many more ways than just one.

ok. i am going to nap now.
and meet mr lees laters.

TATA.

and so.
i feeling very inspired - not.

and bubbles just insulted me x(
im not morphing.
EEEEEEEEEEE.
dont like. dont like.

anyways.
i really do like talking to naz (:
hope ure feeling heappppppps better (:
and im still here to pick up the pieces (:

and mok jia quan!
I MISS YOU (:
and yeshhhhh.
come pick me uppppppppp!

wiggles.
i have this whole new nice playlist.
hazelnut (:
i likeeee.

because of doms.
i think my or chehs will come out tomorrow.
HMM BUBBLES?
who spent the whole of yesterday hitting me.

blabbers.
i really should sleep.
hmm.

"There's no combination of words
I could put on the back of a postcard
No song that I could sing
But I can try for your heart
Our dreams, and they are made out of real things
Like a, shoebox of photographs
With sepiatone loving
Love is the answer,
At least for most of the questions in my heart
Like why are we here? And where do we go?
And how come it's so hard?
It's not always easy and
Sometimes life can be deceiving
I'll tell you one thing
it's always better when we're together"

and so.
i really wanted to run today x(
but the threadmills were all taken.
blehhh.
and i lost the motivation to lift any weight.
because i didnt do cardio.

so in the end.
i went for swim (:
a nice long swim.
and talked to a few random people.
hmmm.
just to sidetrack abit.
sung is back! (:
ah-neo-ha-sa-yo!
i hope u settled ur accomodation bit!
meeeps.

u know.
i should really get back into my gym routine x(
blehh.
im getting sooooooo lazy.
gone are the days with 2 classes a day.
and the runs before classes.
and the weights.
HMM.

the onli form of exercise i get now is from my rmit attack class.
which is going to end next tues x(
BLABBERS.
oh wells.

I WANT TO HAVE A BBQ.
random.
but yes.
my place! after exams!
wiggles (:

because.
and onli because.

AND ANYWAYS.
im home!
WIGGLES (:
says today's frisbee was gooooooooooooood (:
and because clara was feeling SOOOO lazy.
she spent half the time on the grass.
WIGGLES.

(:
hmmmmmmmm.
todayyyyy. i got my bank stuffs done (:
wHEEEEEEEEEe.
finally.

ok. i really need to get some sleep.
im going to die soon.

dear,
i had a dream about you last night.
will u appear in my dreams tonight?
your love.

YAH RIGHT.
DONT BE NONSENSE.
but because ure so sweet.
i send my hugs and kisses.
(:

Ooooooooooooooh.
im awake before double digits.
(:
arent u proud.

and so.
yesterday was my first official day at work.
and it was oooooooooooooooooooh (:
and no jo. i didnt kill their innocence and neither did their work.
(:
wiggles.
in fact they connected their innocence with me.
which was really really heart warming (:
and it made me realise that.
sometimes it's not about saying the correct things at the correct time.
but instead.
it's about meaning what u say.
doesnt matter when.
doesnt matter how.
as long as u mean it.

and maybe that's why im always so happy around kids.
(:

it's small little things.
change.

I JUST REALISED.
i didnt do anything this weekend at all x(
blabbers.

bubbles is learning his choreo.
says. ive listened to 3.2.1.0 SOOOOOOO many times.
HOHO.
double hop. 3 step run. skater. slide. jump. box.
HAHAHA. EH. i can teach it already (:
wiggles.
says. clara is not teaching this tues.
because she has to attend her bio seminar.
hoho.
so bubbles is taking the whole class.
(:
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

hopefully garth will give us his videos together with songs and choreo!
wiggles.
if u ever read this.
THANK YOU GARTH!

"check out the crabs in the buckit"

hoho.
i haven been to ff for like.
one month. or even more.
IT'S TIME TO START GOING AGAIN.
blabbers.

heh heh.
today was HOTTTTTTT.
and after making our way to church.
we realised that it wasnt at dallas brooks.
GRR.
so it was down to starbucks.
(:
i like passionfruit shaken (:
whooooooooo.

and dessert house.
after classic curry refused to pick up our call for like 2 hours.
GRR.

now im tired.
i think it's a psychological thing.
everytime i listen to attack songs without having to learn choreo
i get reallllly tired.
dammit!

i like my facebook quote for the day.
"The thing people forget is how good it can feel when you finally set secrets free. Whether good or bad, at least they're out in the open, like it or not. And once your secrets are out in the open, you don't have to hide behind them anymore."

and my song for the day.
unwell - matchbox 20.
"im not crazy. im just a little impaired"
how apt (:

and tomorrow comes.

Oooooooooooooooooooooh.
so sweeeeeeeeeeeeet (:
sugar in the heart.

anyhoos.
this post is specially for this monster that reads my blog (:
who is currently dao-ing me.
hello monster bubbles.

because ure busy i shall just post it here.

so.
clara wants to say.
clara is happy to see how our friendship has morphed into this thing.
where we sort of both know.
no matter how much we piss each other off.
or quarrel.
or scream.
or shout.
or pms.
at the end of the day.
we'd still love each other.
and we'd still be fine.

and so.
clara hopes ure feeling better(:

WIGGLES.
SO BUBBLES, the clara ends with her signature move.
GIMME A HUG. WHERE'S MY KISS.
GIMME A HUG. WHERE'S MY KISS.

i love you so. (:

hmm.
pokes ego.
deflates.
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
AND STOP AM CHIO-ING
you'll get boobie cancer.

HOW LONG AGO WERE ALL THESE PHOTOS!
(:
im saving them slowly from my dying multiply photo albums.
(:
and OMG.
boy. do they deserve a mention.
HAHAHA.
ALLL the way from 2001 through to 2006. (:

Oooooooooooh.
clara is back from work (:

and ooooooooooh.
it is exciting (:

i get heaps of stuffs to mark.
which makes clara a happy gurl (:
and satisfies her secret wishes to be a teacher to mark stuffs.
u know. i can actually forsee myself.
spending alot of time marking.
onli because i don like to see back logs x(
blehhh.

wiggles.
aitessssssssss. says that that was her fri x(
no frisbee this week x(
blehhh.

BTW.
does anyone have ANY idea at all.
where i can buy bumblebee transformer?
nono. not for myself.
for sean the dearest little one who's growing up.
the one my mummy promised to buy for.
and of course.
mummy is having a gooooooooood time in doha (:
after a very laggy conversation with her over the phone.
(:

and i end with the song that always pieces me back together (:

"all will be well.
even after all the promises uve broken to urself.
all will be well.
you can ask me how.
but onli time will tell."

see. i told you.
it ALWAYS pieces me back together (:
now im whole again.

excuses,
because you dont know.
and neither do i.

OMG.
i had a damn bad dream.
nightmare.
WHATEVER you call it.

FREAK.
that was just SCARY.

monsters of the night.
x(

you know.
i was reading amanda's blog.
and what she wrote just hit me like...
i dunno what.

but i went.
WOAHH.
people actually feel the same way as i do.
x(

im not worrying.
at least im trying not to.
but then these small little things keep popping up.
and then you realise that u cant really just sit back.
and watch ur life pass.
because it's going to be too painful.

and it's really quite painful x(
sometimes to realise.
that things that u have right now.
are just going to disappear.
whether u want it to or not.

hey.
don say it wont. for certainty.
cause it will.
x(

im not pessimistic.
it's just what would happen.
even if u tried to make it stay.
and honestly.
the more u try and hold on to it.
the more painful it gets.
the more miserable u feel.

but then again.
im not saying to not try and hold on to what u have.

but oh well.
im too tired to think about this.
choreo and tracks are taking full control over my head now.

and no one really understands how i feel at this present moment.
i need to explode.

goodbye.

OKKKKKKKKS.
excitement.
im starting work officially on monday (:

WIGGLES.
EH. it really IS exciting ok!
and i realised i went in one BIGGGGG circle,
and im back to teaching kids again x(
HAHAHA.
EH. but im not minding (:
cause kids are a bundle of joy (:
HONESTLY!

aitessssssss.
yesterday we worked for vate!
hahaha. SEE. EDUCATION AGAIN.
hahaha. but it was fun lahhh.
and i just nua-ed when i got home.
EH!
it is hard work ok!
and i can pronounce ENGLISH LIT very well with ZE ACCENT.
and that's chickens hatching out of the egg (:
hoho.

ehhh. im still counting my eggs.
(:

ANYHOOS.
i do like working quite a bit.
although so far my work has been preedy random.
HAHA.
so yes. from MONDAY. i get a part time job. (:

and. im just stoning at baillieu.
because i couldn use the internet at chem building. or at old arts. or at stats.
SO YES.
im going for lunch and then back to the stats library.
to be that all so good mugger.
DAMN.

i should prepare my tracks for rmit tomorrow x(
blabbers.
brain juice draining.
i ought to know more choreo.
x(

HOHO.
FRISBEE WAS.
f.u.n.
(:

hahaha. ok fine.
so the weather wasn so nice to us before that (:
but who cares.
it was oneeeeeeeeee round of monopoly
and then off to frisbee.

DAMMIT.
damn tiring lahhhh.
but all so fun too (:

and dinner at stalactites....
was DIFFERENT.
hahahaha.
(:

hoho (:
I LIKE FRISBEE NIGHTS.

EH. im working tomorrow!
YAY.
and my money from pearson is innnnnnn!
(:

i just realised that my photo didnt turn up x(
it's a picture of chess.
the musical.
BLEH.

but anyhoos.
im currently trying to mug my ass off at slv. but it's not working.
because the internet's fast.
and im just surfing and browsing and doing nonsense things.

GRR.
but anyhoos.
says that.
it's FRISBEE NIGHT! (:
hopefully it doesnt rain again x(
bleh.
cause if it does i'll be quite sad.
HAHAHA.

DAMMIT.
haha. just now i was just browsing through facebooks.
and then i realised.
some people are still the same.
but some people are so different.
HAHAHA.
EH. dammit.
stop laughing.

hahaha.
ok lah.
back to trying to read electrostatics.

NO ONE WILL EVER GUESS WHAT COURSE IM STUDYING
CAUSE I SEEM LIKE IM ALWAYS STUDYING NONSENSE THINGS THAT ARE TOTALLY IRREVELANT.
DAMMIT.

you know.
everytime i get upset/pissed/sad/irritated
or anything at all.
you just bring me back into the right mood.
what would i do without you.

because.
i am damn fucking pissed off.
and if i cant take it in
and fucking shout at u.
dont expect me to take back my words.

because i got a shock.
that jolted me back in reality.

so similar.
yet so different.

you'd think by now i could stand up.
but hey.
sometimes i just need a little help.

same-o same-o.
but different.

that's so if you ask me (:
and when u ask me again
what'll ur reaction be when u go back.
i'll slouch and say.
i dont know.

i cant say i wont look back and regret.
because that was my pride.
(:
and it still is.

but hey.
(:
life's great as it is.

and i admire those who followed their passion
(:

maybe a visit.
maybe a couple more.
but that's it (:

because my time has ended a long time ago.
and the new chapter in my life.
is no longer that scratchy blur of white and black.

i like to talk to naz.
onli because we've been through so much.
that he doesnt need to say much.
for me to understand.
and. neither do i have to say much.

it's so strange how we have this.
strange. unique.
but.
nonetheless.
powerful friendship.

the few people in my life.
i live to love.
(:

AND YOU. PANG YILING.
(:
i do miss you much too. (: (:
and i felt this.
wave of emotion hit me.
when we spoke today (:
i like late night train rides.
and cbtl.
and everything else!
(:

BLEH.
i wish i could randomly teleport people over.

and I.
got a job (:

and i look forward to it (:
something new.
something exciting.

WHEEEEEE.

ask me.
and maybe then.
i wouldn tell.

hold me.
and maybe then.
i wouldn care.

tell me.
and maybe then.
i wouldn be there.

so.
stop and think.
maybe. then.
is alot closer.

I FORGOT TO ADD.

THAT WE ALL PASSED OUR CERT III!
(:

it's now time to look for a job.

AITEES.
im at the UWA library.
(:
and it's my last day in perth!

and so.
before the photowhoring posts come on.
i shall just go on and on about my trip (:
because im just hanging around.
not doing any work or any sorts.
(:

AND SO.
our week long trip was preedy exciting (:
says.
we ate so much.
it was disgusting.
(:
HOHO.
we had lotssss of singapore food.
which was good.
cause i have not had curry puffs in a long time.
HMM.
and lionel's daddy cooked rendang and curry.
oooooooooooh.

GRR.
this keyboard really makes alot of noise when i type.
DAMMIT.

but anyhoos.
lots and ltos of food.
and then.
lots and lots of shopping (:
Oooooooooh!
(:

we went down to freo and the beach.
and had good fish and chips.

and then. down to swan valley.
where chocolate was free and overflowing.
(:

HOHO.
and the attempt to steal swan eggs never materialised.
hoho.

AND!
i got to meet up with steph.
whom i haven met for like... 3 years?
HAHA.
but it was niceeeeeee (:

haha.
and so. my week long trip.
was accompanied by mr lee and family and pronolo and jojo.
(:
which was a bundle of fun.

hoho.
dammit.
i still have 47 mins to spend.

OOOOOOOOOOH!
we're flying tonight!
i actually do miss melbourne quite abit. (:
beams.
all because perth is just a tad too slow for me.

beams.
all checked in.
and ready to leave.

ALL I NEED NOW IS DINNER!
bleh.
TIME DIFFERENCE!
x(

AND SO.
clara is currently in perth! (:
smiles.
and says. she has been enjoying herself.
eating lots.
shopping lots.
beaming lots.

(:

SO. TILL THEN.