YES THANK GOD FOR THE 700 WORDS WOOHOO. I'm closer to reaching my finishing line!!

Come to think about it, somebody around me is gonna leave. PLEASE SERIOUSLY. People who contemplate to leave church, C H E C K   Y O U R   H E A R T. It will definitely be so sad. Thinking of it simply cause so much sadness within my heart. Oh God, I'm not sure who is it, but I do have the intuition of it. PLEASE DON'T.

I  CANNOT


Writing out my essay alone was really dreadful. I'm out of my wits to write anything man. God give me some wisdom to write it all out, sigh pie. Maybe I'm kind of rushing myself to finish it asap, simply because I might afraid I won't be able to really concentrate when CNY comes. CAN I NOT STRESS OUT SO EASILY? 
WILL ARCHER MENTIONED IT TODAY AND I FELT SO FRAGILE IN THIS AREA. ONLY SCHOOL ASSIGNMENT CAN STRESS ME OUT. Seriously. I don't know why. 


Those who read my blog post, please pray for me. 

New glasses for the new year! YAYYY.

First day of tutorial and it's killing me already. With the emphasis of me having no experience by my lecturer, is simply demotivating. Seriously. Too much for the heart, I feel like giving up! God save me. 

You have put me there for a reason, let me not rely on my own strength but you who can do all things. 

This is the beginning of all struggles, assignment and due dates. 

S U M M E R T I M E    S A D N E S S

Is it true when people around suffers, empathising them will be a norm?

I guess not.

okay, that was just a random thought in my mind. Receiving a news from a brother and sister that their grandma passed really did sadden my heart. For quite awhile, i haven't been feeling all the sadness but this verse came to my mind instantly. "If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honoured, every part rejoices with it." (1 Corinthians 12:26 NIV)
I felt that pain that they are experiencing for sure, for once I feel the closeness in church. Blessing in disguise even in such situation I do feel close. Thank you God for even allowing to feel this bittersweet feeling. There is a time for everything even in a time of mourning which the book Ecclesiastes talks about. Lets all be preparing for it and lets have the heart to love before its too late.

Sian looking at my blogpost the wording is really small. I'M SO LAZY TO EDIT THE CODING, sorry guys it will be a eyesore for you. Bear with it. :)

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 " Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labour: if either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."

This verse was given me like two and a half years ago, and till now I still feel like I'm struggling with this. :'( seems like its true. We will always be struggling with the our struggles throughout our entire lives. I do know I have made changes in being close with people but it seems like I don't feel close to my small group once again. This is a hassle, heart issue striking hard on me. Noooooooooo. Can we be united?
Things won't always be the way I wanted it to be all the time, God let me trust in your plans instead of mine.

U N I C O R N I S A M Y T H

First post in 2015, at last I have some time for myself to really blog about my emotions/my thoughts/ things that has been bothering me.

Work today wasn't pleasant at all. Big boss mentioned some casual remark about this guy," he do his stuff, I do mine. We don't need to cross-path." And a guy sit beside me was talking to his colleague," I want to switch! Switch ! Switch! I rather sit alone than sitting with him."
Woah, that's really encouraging guys. As though I'm invisible. Truly yes, a lot of thoughts came to my mind for sure, I was thinking," you think I wanna sit with you, seriously." All these negative thoughts definitely came in like a wrecking ball.! I can imagine the track of it which really express how much I felt. anyway, on the bright side, I feel so enlighten by God. It reminded me to be grateful for what I have, what Jesus has done for me. Even when His people go against Him. Jesus still stand up for them and said," For they do not know what they are doing." Thank you God for always allowing me to be empowered by the bible.Talking to you has always been so comforting and amazing. It gives me so much serenity that I can never be able to find elsewhere. And for the first time in forever, I don't feel that fuming anger within my heart.!! YES!! My anger has indeed subside tremendously! Thank you God! Thank you for listening to me and enable me to cast away all these unimportant feelings/thoughts that can easily crumble me down.

N E W   Y E A R   R E S O L U T I O N S :

Love people with no record of wrong ( 1 Corinthians 13:5 )
Baptised Mayor ( my cousin), Tannyjiejie.
Increased in my Bible Study Knowledge and to bible study with at least one person.

Dates dates dates, simply encouraged me so much more than usual ! Aww, I just love to talk to people!

Even when the day may seems so difficult to pull through, I have my M & M MACHINE WITH ME <3 nbsp="" p="">

yay, no more negativity in my life. I feel so refresh, fired up, free, expressive and rejuvenated! Tho I wonder why. Dad recovered from surgery, ILC over, Brothers' retreat completed. So much loved between that point of my life till now. Lots of changes and I really glad God put all the obstacles in my life to mould me, and build me up to where I am right now. Exactly not easy yet it's something we all gotta work on on our everyday lives. Having the obedience in God, in whatever things we do, not including the problems we faced, God has showed us so much grace and mercy all the time. As for my sister, I feel that there's room for improvement for our relationship to keep building, regardless of all that. I do feel we are getting along with one another. Talking and joking around is still pretty much fine for us. Future wise, I still ought to rely on God. In terms of working and studying, I really hope God you will show me a way to them. Studying nursing, working as an administrator won't be easy for both to be executed at the same time. But I really hope God you will bless me and show me the direction I need to head to!

K I D S - M G M T

Sometimes i wish my parents would simply accept me and not just criticise/ judge me.

Blue hair for a changeeee, so reluctant to go IT FAIR to workzxc. The only motivation is money because I will be so broke after my taiwan and osaka trip :'( I need the quick cash to salvage my trip and not to rely on parents. I guess that is why I'm doing all these. 

Doing all these may seems a rebel to my parents but to me, it's a way of expressing myself even more and not just suppressing all my emotions. 

I t i s h o r r e n d o u s , p a i n f u l , h e a r t - w r e c k i n g .