I dun feel belong...
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Last year, at the countdown to year 2007, I went over to the church for countdown and to taunt the night. This is the very few activities I had attended with the cell groups in church. After the countdown (man, we actually missed it. Lol...) there was a slideshow on everything the cell groups did together for the whole year. Beside the MM camp, I wasn't in there at all. I just feel so bad, I can't be able to take part in much of the activities...
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I was depriving myself from alot of school activities... back then when there was TP open house and this time round, Freshman Orientation, I never took part in any as I have to avoid her... I once have tis good friend, we once do everything together, watch movie, go home, lunch, chat... but... I made a mistake and now she avoided me like the plague. I want to say sorry but its too late. She say we were cool but things were not the same anymore... we are not as good as we used to be. To help her nt get into uneasy situation, I backed out. I lied about the fact that I stop enjoying camp. She was in TP open house, I refused to join even when I can't bear to miss out on all the fun. She will be in this upcomming FOC, I lied that I lost in interest in camp. She was always in lvl 5, I will be in lvl 6 com lab all the while 'working' on my own things... Only recently I had to stay at lvl 5 for grp work.
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I never felt belong... all this while, I being acting up crazy and sociable. Its just to mask my sorrowness... Lol... only recently when i started the first 20 episode of Naruto I realise that this condition is not uncommon.
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My emotion today... Happy...
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NOT = /