man's folly

One of man's many follies in life is to look back in life and think of all the “what could have been". Silly of us ain't it. Like now, I’m thinking back at my poly days... tomorrow is my graduation and I’ve got mixed feelings about it. Both good and bad actually. Like I’m happy that I can get to see all my good friends and all but that means that I too have to see people whom I don’t wish to see. So mixed feelings. However, I can choose to TOTALLY ignore them and fake it. Haha. But I think they are also doing the same.

Anyway, the good thing is that I can see my beloved clique again!! Haha.. Will be happy to see Stanley, Nick, Zhi Wei, Tas and Eugene. But got closer to Stanley, nick, zhi wei and tas more cos studied together but I do miss Eugene. But the 2 people I miss most is Feezah and Raihana. They are the ones that make me laugh everyday in school. It’s never a dull moment when them around. I miss disturbing anna so much. Nagging at her at every single detail. I miss tickling and playing with her. Haiz... I wish I have more time with them. I miss them a lot. How I wish we can all graduate together. Then it would be the best thing ever.

I dun really know if my life would be the same without them. Can u imagine? If they very people u used to spend ur days with is not with you. How empty and sad it would be. Like if I were not to have my darlings around me anymore, I would wake up each day and feel that each of the days is without meaning and purpose. I hope to never to have to experience that. It would bring my world to total sadness.

I hope that it would be the beginning of a better life.

Times flies like the wind when we are busy and rushing to do this and that. it's been like that for me... Rush to work. work whole day about 15 hours straight. or rush to school after work for dance. dance work. dance work. it's been like that.

where's the fun life i wanted? where's the joy and laughter that i seek for?
the only time i can find them is when i'm at dance or when i'm working with my bunch of great colleagues. but i totally hate customers. i wish they can just go away. all i want is to spend time and have fun with all of them.

however, wad i want is to dance. i really want to very much dance. i was to dance like as though the dance is meant for just me and my partner. haha... but that's just only a dream. hehe...

i think i work way too much that i dun have time for myself at all. but what does that mean ? time for myself to do wad ? i really dun know.. it's like i'm going to be 21 this year and yet, there are millions of things that i dun really know and dun really know wat i want. how can this be possible when i'm going to be an adult soon. i really dun want to waste another day of my life. sometimes i wish to not step out in the big open world...

i feel so confused and frustrated in life. i hope for someone to sweep me off my feet and take those problems aways... haiz...




would you be there to love, to be with me ?

a series of events....

right now, this would be my 3rd time writing this damn post. this com is pissing me off. argh!!! gotta calm myself down if not i'll not write wad i wrote before. haha.here goes...

my university application results are here. guess wad? i didn't make the cut for any of the local universities. NTU and NUS rejected me. SMU's reply is not here yet but i'm not putting any hopes on it. haha.but my mom thinks otherwise. she kept on asking me if i would accept a course that i dun want but it is in a local university so there is a certain amount of prestige.but wad's the use ? if i'm not really interested in the course, how would i do well? but at least my SIM applications were successful. All but one, i recieved. and the one that i did not receive is the one that i was pinning my hopes on. but the dateline is not here yet so i'm hoping that i get my course. if not, it would be 2 boring yrs of business mgt or 3 tough years in econs n finance, UOL.

lets reverse back to a few days before.. haha.. on thursday! it was a special day!! it was my Mother's and little Melody's birthday!!!! haha. i hope little mel enjoyed her birthday. i think she enjoyed the day ( or should i say night) before. hehe. that would be one memory that would be kept in ur heart always.
however we didnt really celebrate it cos we had the formation performance rehearsal. i thought our formation team was alright but i guess we need to practise more. we all shall work hard together! =)

friday was the day of the freshman event. and NPDS went to crash it. thats why we had to be ushered by our teacher in charge. haha. however i had work so i came in late. managed to sneak in with darren. haha. good thing he was there cos i wouldn't be able to like say that i am with the "barracudas" ppl. the event in the beginning was sort of boring until the DJ from Zouk came on.. it was more enjoyable with all of us dancing! Thinh rocked the dancefloor with his moves! it was a totally FAB! managed to dance with him and it was sizzling HOT! oh! and we taught lil mel how to dance and grind and all.. haha. preparing her for clubbing. how bad an influence is that ? but u know we'll always protect u.. i will my darling...

sat was the day we did our costume fitting and after that went with desmond and darren for some mothers' day shopping. haha. after the dance workshop, rushed down to work. was really busy. and my mom and dad came down to HD together with uncle peter and auntie mag. did alittle something for them. mom was like hugging me and all. there was this customer who was like trying to guess if she was my mom cos we had resemblance. haha

Sunday was Mothers' day!!!!

HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY!!!!

went to have lunch with my family except vic didn't go. it was quite fun where i manage to spend some time with them. and at suntec, guess who i saw ? Candy and Roy who owns "waffle place" they work at HD before... talked so long lah.... hahaha. abit waste time. haha. anyway.. at night, it was super packed. managed to sell like 16 cakes till our cake freezer had only 2 cakes left. pathetic right ? haha

anyway... Monday...
at night, it was TOTALLY FULL HOUSE. like wat the fuck ? it's a monday night for goodness sake. and it was super packed. we had only 4 staff and no auntie to wash plate. we were totally under staffed. but one happy thing... is.... i saw FELICIA CHIN!! haha.. talked to her and all.. and she remembered me.. and of course took pic with her... haha.. that part, i'm happy. =)


pics time!!!
me and my baby mel!!!

Kiss kiss!! *muacks*
my baby girl again!
mel's own "concert"
greg, thinh n me!!
on the floor!
freshman night!
cheryl. me. von mommy.
ACBC. Act cool. bo cool.
mommy tired..
cheryl. me. baby mel.
Kiss my baby darling!
sweetheart n me
me. darren. =)
act cute sia...
HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY! for mom.
uncle peter. auntie mag. mom. dad.
pei feng. taken by shaun
this is shaun
lastly, Felicia Chin and me! yeah!

confusion

Now, i'm at work. hahah.. using the office computer when i'm not suppose to.. once again i doing full shift.. 15 hours.. sian. but i like mornings.. haha.. cos more relaxed and i doing with Pei Fen. i like tt. very fun. i get to learn alot of things.. especially chinese where she sometimes speak to me cos i want to learn. haha..

anyway.. these few days is like a dark cloud for most of us. My darling michelle and melody like have each of their own sad and troubled days...

why was misery and sadness even found ? if it was a thing and not an emotion, i wish it wasn't invented or existed. but then again, it's a feeling. and in almost every thing in life, there should be a balance of highs and lows..
just like for like every cloud has a silver lining. i wonder if it is really true. yes, it's true when people say that when one door closes, anothe opens. but how would you know which is the door that opens? and if the door opens, is the the door that would benefit you? or throw you back to misery ?

Often, people do not realise what we have only until we lose it. If human nature is such, then why can't we realise all things important and so to treausre them and not waste those important things cos we dun even know it's important to us.


hmmm.. i think i'll talking in a very confusing mode. but what can i say ? Life's about confusion.