Photo Dump

Nothing exciting to report in this blog post... just dumping some pics of our recent "doings."  :)

These pics are from a LONG hike we took at Bear Mountain State Park...

I just love these little boys :)

The boys had a blast... Anna Grace tolerated it.  This is a picture from the beginning of the hike when she was still having fun.

Check out my leaf!  It's bigger than my head! (and that's pretty big!)

checking out the locust that Daddy found (Momma kept her distance... yuck!)

Caleb cracking up as he's poking the locust with a stick and listening to the buzzing sound it made

We found this awesome waterfall for Caleb.  He was in heaven. :)

Anna Grace was sacked out at this point... sweet baby :)

Reading books on a Saturday morning

Reading a book with Daddy before church

...and lil' miss... just because she's cute :)

Happy Wednesday!

Random thoughts and Old t-shirts

So, John David and I were blessed to go out on a date night this past Wednesday (our first in at least 7 months!!) and we actually got to visit with each other during the meal.  Amazing... I know!  As we were talking about the kids and life and such, a thought dawned on me.  I'm not who I used to be.  Uh... duh, you're probably thinking.  A husband, three kids with one on the way and just life in general can certainly change a person.  But I guess that's not what I'm talking about.  If you would have told me 10, or even 5 years ago that I would be married and about to have 4 children under the age of 4, I would have told you that you were out of your mind.  Not that I haven't always wanted to be married or have kids, because I have, but I'm not exactly a "kid person."  I've never been that person that kids just flock to because of a bubbly personality or one that always had a "way" with kids.  I love kids... don't get me wrong... and I babysat all the time while growing up, but that's about it.  I definitely didn't picture myself where I am today.  So all that to say... why the change?  Well, that's the point of this post.  One reason... Christ.

Every once in a while, usually when my kiddos are behaving well around other people or in public, I'll get one of those remarks... maybe something along the lines of, "I just don't know how you do it with three little ones" or "I get exhausted just watching you" or ""How do you do this all day everyday?"  I kind of sit there for a second, not really sure how to answer other than... "you just get used to what you have".  I probably would have thought this to be really difficult a couple years ago, but since I've only had one child at a time instead of being thrown in head first with multiples, it's been an environment that I've slowly become acclimated to.  Truthfully, it just doesn't seem all that overwhelming anymore... not that there hasn't been a difficult adjustment period with each addition, but that's just what it's been... an adjustment period.  Then we're back to rolling the way we were before.  

The other day, a friend of mine mentioned a sewing class going on next month at the Craft Center where they teach you to sew a tote bag using an old t-shirt.  Sounds like fun... I have plenty of old ratty t-shirts laying around that could certainly be repurposed.  So, maybe I'll take an evening out and do it.

How do all of these random thoughts go together?  I'm getting there. :)

So when I think about responding to those "How do you do it?" questions above... you know what comes to mind now?  An old ratty t-shirt.    Yep, that's right.  I think that describes me pretty well... stained, faded, torn, holey (and not in the righteous sense :), and just downright useless.  I have a bunch of those t-shirts... folded up in a closet, taking up space, not doing any good at all... just sitting there with the idea that someday I'll get around to doing something useful with them or making them into something beautiful.  But that requires effort... which requires time... which is not something I have in excess at this phase in my life.  However, Christ is a different story.  He can take this old ratty t-shirt and completely repurpose it, give it new life, take the torn pieces, sew the wrong sides together and make it into something useful.  It may not be pretty and it may not have the greatest and mightiest purpose ever, but it can fulfill a God given purpose, whatever that may be.  For me, I feel like a main purpose of my life at this point is to bless my husband, build him up, encourage him in fulfilling his God given purpose and also raising up these children into whole hearted followers of Christ.  So, back to the old t-shirt.  I am impatient, selfish, easily frustrated, have a few OCD tendencies :) and well... not a beautiful and useful tote bag.  So, where does that leave this old t-shirt?  Somewhere in the design process I guess.  My daily (sometimes hourly) prayer is for Christ to make me what I'm not... change me into the wife and mom that only He can help me to be.  Help me to love my family with the same grace and mercy and sacrificial love which He showers on me day after day, screw up after screw up.  I didn't picture myself in these shoes 5 years ago, because these shoes would not have fit me 5 years ago.  I'm here now, because Christ is changing me into something that I'm not. It's still a mess at this phase, don't get me wrong, but we're on the right path.  I thank God for his endless love and grace and I thank Him even more for being capable of making this old ratty t-shirt into something useful.

Eli's Birthday Celebration

Yesterday was my sweet little boy's 2nd birthday.  In some ways I can't believe that he is only 2... I feel like he's been around forever, yet at the same time, he's still so small.  Either way, I can't imagine life without him.  He is the sweetest, most tenderhearted little boy I've ever been around.  He has the biggest brownest eyes and an intense love for "puppy" and trains.  Elijah is a little peanut, but his vocabulary is advanced and it often surprises people what comes out of his mouth.  One of my favorites lately is when I tell him to do something, he responds with "Otay, monny."  He is such an obedient little guy.  If something is wrong or I ask him if he's okay, he says, "yeah, I fine... are you otay monny?"  He sings his ABC's, loves giving kisses and his new favorite game is hide and seek.  This pretty much consists of him putting his hands over his eyes and counting to ten... if he can make it that far before he takes off running around the house looking for Caleb and I, laughing hysterically as he goes.  When it's his turn to hide, he just runs around the house laughing and jumping from hiding spot to hiding spot.  It's hilarious.   Elijah absolutely adores his big brother and copies everything that Caleb does.  He is also so sweet and helpful with his baby sister, bringing her toys and picking up her sippy cup when she drops it.  He even says his prayers all by himself at every meal now.  So sweet.  Caleb absolutely loves singing songs and we usually listen to worship songs in the car on my iPod... Elijah has picked up on this as well and they often can be heard singing together in the back of the car.  They sing the wrong words completely off key, but it is beautiful music to my ears.  Elijah is a precious gift from the Lord (as are all of our children) and today we had a wonderful time celebrating him.

When everyone woke up, we went downstairs together and surprised Elijah with his birthday present from John David and I.  We scored this Thomas Lego Duplo set on Craigslist for a great price and both boys were super excited.  You can see in the video which of our boys is more animated. :)

Then we had a yummy birthday breakfast... whole wheat banana pancakes with sprinkles mixed in, blueberries, strawberries and sausage.

After Anna Grace's morning nap we headed to a little pond that is just a mile from our house.  The kids had a blast!  The boys LOVE going to the "beach."  Some of our friends happened to be there, too so the kids played really hard for a couple hours before we headed home for naps.  Everyone was exhausted and took a nice long nap before the real fun began. :)

Elijah's birthday party was yesterday evening... we ate, cooked out, ate, played and ate some more.  The kids had a wonderful time and John David and I enjoyed a fun evening with friends.
Side note: One of the best things that I love about the Army... you can live somewhere for two months and still manage to have over 20 people show up to celebrate your child's birthday.  What a blessing.  None of the families who came knew one another prior to the party... they were just friends we've met since we moved here either in our neighborhood, at church, at JD's work, etc and have gotten to know.  They each have kids around the same age and most have recently moved here themselves.  All of them, having known our sweet Elijah for less than two months (some only for one week!), came over on a Saturday evening and celebrated our sweet boy with us.  We're all in the same boat, we don't have family nearby, each year either we move or our friends move, we're just living life where we are... together.  I'm so thankful.  Once again, the Lord amazes me with His faithfulness.  Elijah had such a fun birthday and I'm thankful to everyone who celebrated it with us.  I'm so thankful for our sweet little boy, so blessed to be his "monny", and hopeful for what the future holds for this little guy.  He is continuing to grow into such a precious, sweet little boy.  We love you, Elijah James!

Here is a pic from his party...

And the after party :)... thank you so much to our family who sent gifts and cards for Eli.  He was overjoyed with his goodies!  We didn't do gifts at the party, and this is why!  We have such generous parents, grandparents, brothers and sisters who shower our children with lots of love. :)  Thank you all for making him feel special.

Let's be honest....

So, as I'm learning about this whole realm of blogging, one thing I'm having a hard time finding a balance of is what to share.  I mean... it's so easy to share the sweet savory moments with our little ones and the fun things that we do, but I don't want to come across as this "I've got it all together" kind of mom.  At the same time, do our family and friends really want to read about the not so sweet moments in our everyday lives?  I mean... is posting about how I completely lost my temper with my toddler encouraging for anyone else to read?  It's not that I want to necessarily share those things, but at the same time, I don't want to give off this impression that I have it all figured out and am this great mom, wife, friend, etc who is doing everything right.  That couldn't be further from the truth.  All that to say, I hope whoever comes along and decides to read my mediocre blog, finds encouragement and not insufficiency.


So with that being said, this blog post isn't about the great city that the boys and I built in our living room that had them entertained for hours... it's about real life and real struggles.


I always heard that parenting was hard, and I get it... the never ending hours, the lack of sleep, the constant trying to meet everyone's needs, the worrying, etc.  However one thing I wasn't prepared for was the complete inadequacy I would feel as a mom.  I can do it... I can be mom... I can meet the needs of my kids, love them, nurture them, teach them.  But can I do it well?  No.  Not by myself.  This is the realization that I have come to over and over again since becoming a mom 3 1/2 years ago, but only in the last month or so have I reached the point of "I seriously can't do this on my own strength."  It's not because I'm overwhelmed with three little ones (although I definitely have those days), but it's because I want to do this well.  I don't just want to raise my kids to be good people or to be successful.  I want to raise them to be lovers of Christ and lovers of others, to be full of grace and mercy, to be humble and courageous, and to serve.  How can I do those things when I fall so short?  That is such a tall order!  My daily prayer over these last couple weeks has been for the Lord to teach me to love my children the way that He does, to show them the same grace and mercy that He shows me.  Can I just be really honest?  I feel like I am failing on a daily basis to be the mom that Christ wants me to be.  I am selfish, I am impatient, I get frustrated.  I am a sinful human being who is worth nothing without Christ.  However, on days that I hand over the reigns, I notice a profound difference.  It's not because I'm any better of a mom on those days, but it's because I'm allowing Christ to love my children through me.  I'm allowing his wisdom to flow through me and help me respond with love rather than hatefulness.  It's amazing and more than anything it's teaching me how I can do this and do it well with the Lord's help.


Now, the number of days I have actually allowed that to happen over the last two weeks, I can count on one hand.  Sigh.


It's really challenging.  Shouldn't I be able to do this on my own?  Why is it so difficult for me?  Everyone else seems to be doing alright.  Why am I struggling so much?  I mean, like I said, I can be mom.  I can take care of my children and love them and have fun with them, but I feel like my job is so much more than that.  I want to be the mom that Christ has called me to be.  I want to set an example for them.  I've realized that I have no idea what I am doing.  God himself designed my children, He knit them together and He alone knows everything about them.  I need His wisdom to know how to love them as individuals, to appreciate their strengths and weaknesses, to know how to love them, speak to them, train and discipline them.  I just can't do it on my own.  What a humble place to be to reach the realization that I desperately need Christ to help me raise my own children, His children.  What a great place to be at the same time.  I never want to become too prideful in my parenting skills that I think I can do it on my own.  I will fail miserably.  Yet with Christ loving them through me, I can be the mom He created me to be to these children He has blessed John David and I with.


Caleb and I had a conversation at lunch the other day.  He was telling me that he had been a good boy the previous morning except for when he sat in time out for pushing his brother.  We talked about how we all make mistakes, every one of us, mommy, too.  We talked about how we desperately need Jesus to forgive us and to help us be better.  I'm learning.  I desperately need Jesus to help me be better... not because I'm a terrible mom, but because I want to be a better mom.

We sang this song in church a few weeks ago that I ended up downloading to my ipod and listening to over and over again because it's really "hitting the spot" right now...

Here are some of the lyrics:

"From the Inside Out"  by Hillsong

A thousand times I've failed still your mercy remains

Should I stumble again, still I'm caught in your grace

Everlasting your light will shine when all else fades

Never ending, your glory goes beyond all fame.

I fail ever single day, I stumble and fall, but God's grace is sufficient.  His love is never ending and ultimately it's about Him and not me.  Thankfully my children will still see Him shine as they see how desperately I need His mercy.  I know that I can't put out His light no matter how much I screw up.  Praise God!

Your will above all else

My purpose remains

The art of losing myself in bringing you praise

Everlasting your light will shine when all else fades

Never ending, your glory goes beyond all fame.

I pray that I will put His will above mine on a daily basis and learn how to point my children toward Him.  I need to set my agenda aside and fulfill the purpose God has given my life, which right now revolves around loving and serving my husband and children.  It's not about me.

In my heart, in my soul

I give you control

Consume me from the inside out

Let justice and praise 

Become my embrace

To love you from the inside out

This is my prayer.  To be consumed from the inside out.  For Christ's love to overflow from my heart to my lips.  To extend his love through my hands, to be His hands and feet.  And for that to be evident in my relationships with my husband and children.

Everlasting your light will shine when all else fades

Never ending, your glory goes beyond all fame

And the cry of my heart is to bring you praise

From the inside out

Lord my soul cries out

I am desperate.  I am desperate for the Lord's love, mercy, grace and guidance in order to raise my children the way that I feel I am called to.  I am so thankful that He is waiting to extend all of those things to me although I am undeserving.  All I have to do is ask.

We're having another....

BOY!  On a last minute whim, we went to an ultrasound facility today and found out the sex of our baby.  We left the younger two kiddos at home and just took Caleb on a special biggest brother outing with mom and dad.  It was great fun and he got to see the "baby in momma's belly."  We went to McDonalds for a biggest brother treat afterwards.  He had a great time. :)  We are really excited and feel so abundantly blessed to be expecting another boy.  I have to admit I was shocked... I really thought it was going to be a girl, but it took less than a minute to determine that "he" is definitely a "he."  What fun!  Three little guys running around, terrorizing (and protecting:) their sister.  I can't wait!  So so thankful!

Here's a pic of the little guy :)

An Answered Prayer for My Little Boy

On Thursday the kids and I had plans to go have a picnic at a park with some friends.  It had been raining ALL week and we were all looking forward to getting out of the house.  Caleb has met a new little friend here and they are two peas in a pod... he gets really excited about getting to play with Maggie so he was especially excited about our plans.  It wasn't supposed to rain Thursday morning so we all got ready, packed our picnic lunches and waited for our friends to come over so we could follow each other out to the park.  As soon as they pulled up, it started to drizzle outside.  Sigh... so I told Caleb that we might have to change our plans if it was raining.  He was pretty sad.  I talked to Kristin and we decided we would just start driving and see what the weather did.  Well... as we started driving it started raining more.  

Caleb was getting a little distraught in the backseat as I was trying to explain to him that it wouldn't be fun to play at the park if it was raining.  I told him we could say a prayer and ask God to make it stop raining so we could go have fun with our friends.  He thought that sounded good, so Caleb and I prayed together in the car while we were driving and asked the Lord to please help it stop raining.  Within 30 seconds of Caleb's little "amen" the rain stopped.  I didn't say anything at first because I didn't know if it was going to start back up and I didn't want to get his hopes up, but the rain had really stopped!  Caleb noticed and was really excited.  He said, "God's answer was yes!  He made it stop raining, Mom!"  I was so happy for my sweet boy.  We prayed again and thanked God for making it stop raining.  

It was such a precious moment for a couple reasons... 1) It reminded me that God cares about even the smallest of things 2) He hears our prayers (I had been feeling discouraged over the two previous days) and most importantly 3) It was absolutely amazing to see God pursuing my little boy's heart.  He was revealing Himself to Caleb... teaching him about His faithfulness, about His love in such a personal way.  Wow... such a little thing, but such a huge moment at the same time.  It was such a good lesson for me, too as a Mom, to see how God chooses to speak to Caleb.  He speaks his language. :)  I need to be reminded of that often.  I need to remember to teach Caleb about big things using the little things.

When we got to the park, we were sitting on the blanket enjoying our picnic and Caleb says to Maggie, "God made it stop raining for us!" I wish I was that enthusiastic and excited to share the ways that God speaks to me and answers my prayers.  What an example set to me by my three year old.

We were packing up to leave and heading to the car after a good two/three hours at the park when it started to sprinkle again.  I was thinking that sure was good timing... then as soon as we got to the car, I lifted the boys into the van and the sky opened up and it started down pouring!  The boys were giggling about Mommy getting soaked while trying to buckle in Anna Grace, then running around the car trying to get them in their seats.  I got in the car completely drenched and thought to myself, that was God's timing.  We talked on the way home about how God allowed it to stay dry for us the whole time we were at the park and didn't let it rain again until we got in the car to leave.  It was such a reminder that it was God at work... not coincidence that it stopped raining for my little boy.  We truly serve such an amazing God who is so huge yet cares about things so small.  Caleb may not remember this a week from now... but I know that God will continue to pursue that little boy all the days of his life.  Despite our shortcomings and sinful nature, the God that created us loves us in such a unique and personal way.  What a blessing to get to witness that display of love from God to my son.  

So... on a completely different note... Anna Grace ate her first "big girl" dinner tonight!  This is always exciting for me because I'm really not a fan of baby food.  I mean... it's great and all, but if I prepare healthy food, it's so much easier to just feed her what we eat!  With Caleb, I made my own baby food, but let's be realistic.  I just don't have time for that anymore. :)  She had eggs a couple times last week and has had cheese a few times, but tonight she ate chicken parmigiana, green beans and a little bit of pasta.  She also really loves feeding herself so this is a win-win situation.  She fusses and fusses when we feed her with a spoon, but dump some food on her tray and she's as happy as can be!  Here's a picture of our big girl eating her dinner.

We had such a wonderful weekend.  Friday evening we went to a Farewell function for JD's work while some friends of ours so graciously watched the boys.  After we picked them up, we went to a little ice cream shop in town where the boys each got their own ice cream cone.  They were in heaven!  Anna Grace even got to sample a few bites.  I think we may make pizza and ice cream a new Friday night tradition. :)  Just look at the pure joy on these faces!

On Saturday, John David had to work for a few hours so while Anna Grace napped, we played in the backyard in the sprinkler.  The weather was finally nice enough to break out the water and the boys were loving it!  I'm so thankful it's finally warm outside!!

Today we went to church, then came home and relaxed while the kids napped/had quiet time.  Once they got up, we aired up a couple kiddie pools (one for the boys and a smaller one for Anna Grace) and pulled out the sprinkler again.  They played and played all afternoon.  Anna Grace loves her little pool!  John David and I had so much fun watching them play their little hearts out.  Needless to say, it took everyone less than 10 minutes to fall asleep tonight... usually a sign of a good day.

Such a fun time having fun with our little ones!