Happy Rant

I'm not sure why I choose to make "Happy" conditional? 

There are particular things in this life that I refuse to get over and I'm not even positive as to why. What's in the past is in the past right? If only it were that easy for me damn it! 

I sit and ponder, rationalize and make logic towards my crazy haha you'd think that I'd be able to get over things as I am a very logical and intelligent (so I like to believe) person. 

Well hell, we all have our bad days and today "bad" has reared it's UGLY head. 

Tomorrow is new, I CHOOSE new, and I will choose and WILL it good :) 

Nighty night.. 

Androphobia +Traumatophobia + Mythophobia

What are these you ask??? Mmmmm well this is the Fear of Men added with the Fear of Injury,  then lastly the Fear of Lying. Add them all together and my fear is of Men Lying about Injury!

I believe I am developing a few phobias thanks to the men I have dated throughout my life, while reflecting upon a few things on my EXTREMELY long drive home from work, I've discovered some TRENDS.

I would like to share with you a list of Medical excuses I have received throughout the years as to why someone has left, stopped talking to me, or decided to ignore for an extended period of time. Oh and I'm sure the list will continue to grow, these will be listed with the earliest of excuses received at a younger age.

*Cancer (The man is fine now, married with children)
*Gout
*Scarlet Fervor (Yes I said Scarlet Fervor!) PS this was given twice by two separate men!
*Seizure which apparently caused Multiple personalities (So he claims)
*Pedophobia- Fear of children (Okay I may exaggerate a little, but the fear of my child)
*Blood Clot which moved to lungs (May have caused death, who knows at this point)
*Circumcision (WTF kind of excuse is this!) (I get that you didn't like the Snip Snip but damn I'm sure it still works)

I may sound as if I am a little heartless and completely disregard these medical issues, some which are very serious and I realize this, though as they present themselves one after another I seem to be effected less and less. No longer am I surprised by their answers or even believe them, I'm just learning that its something men do to get out of talking to me. Which brings me to the question, am I repulsive? So repulsive that I they cant stand to tell me the truth, they just have to lie and run away?

No matter, at this point, I'm pretty sure I will have a hard time believing anything regarding Medical excuses. You'd have better luck telling me your damn dog ate your homework... Blah Blah Blah

PS I received a fat lip tonight, this in return means I cant talk to you ever again ;)

Nighty Night.......................................................................................................................................

Her Maze

1. 2. 3. 4. 
The flys fall to the ground. 
Within the house with sectioned rooms, kept locked away, no sound.
Each room is filled with empty space,  void of all, yet still are bound. 
With each count, another made, a wall built to surround.

A maze so large, long and confused. Not all will be discovered.
Through Each step, through each room, a ruin is uncovered. 

The walls when torn, are bound to crush, whoever enters here.
They fall atop the open wounds, forcing you to tear. 
Slow, steady, not quick to recover.
A mind  can hardly whithstand...
Withstand the thought of such empty rooms, where the darkness covers so grand.        

Shatter

She sits alone in a cold dark room. 
When will she be able to break from the doom? 
Her eyes are heavy her legs are week. 
She can't seem to reach her peak! 

All she wants is to leave this space to run free in a familiar place. 
Heart is pounding, stomach will drop but only when put on the spot. 
The walls are closing, all must stop, only when the clock is dropped. 
The paper in hand, the words are there, but no one will ever see the ink it bares. 

The mask she bares is wearing thin, the layers will no longer hide. 
Its colors, they fade and wash away with all the coming tide. 

As the brush of life grows brittle and thin, the letters on white don't matter. 
Her words and thoughts crumble away, with sadness brings the shatter.

The Achilles Heel

Who wants to hear a story? Its a great story (insert sarcasm), I promise. Though if you ask my friend, she wont necessarily agree with that statement, as the word "great" is merely a matter of opinion.

So hypothetically, "My Friend", well we will name her Miss X for privacy's sake. Miss. X. She's quite the catch though  unfortunately she's not had the greatest luck with men lately. Dating for Miss X is something similar to a roller coaster of sorts; go around in circles a few times and then the riders exit the ride. Poor girl if you ask me, though I could probably bet that others reading this can relate on one level or another. Lets face it, who really likes "Dating"?

If you were raising your hand saying "Me, Me" I would call you a lair for sure! (anyways back to my story)

Miss. X, she's probably been through at least 20 men in the last year and has heard every line and excuse in the book, or lack there of when it comes to being let down. Lets face it, most of the men just vanish into thin air, providing no warning. She's done a superb job at pretending they simply don't exist after they are gone. Its a talent if you ask me, her way of protecting herself from the sting of rejection.

With having many of obligations that take up most of her time, Miss. X. has to find ways to encounter the eligible bachelors of today. She's chosen a quite popular avenue of meeting these so called "bachelors", ONLINE DATING! (OMG those two words alone scare me).

Anyways, she meets this handsome extremely sweet man, very much into my friend. When read, the text between the two of them would have made you sick, this I promise as I was forced to read them myself. He made time before and after work to see her as much as possible, the affection showed  his overwhelming interest in her. Things were moving quickly as they had only been dating a few weeks. Miss. X was giddy through this whole process, so much so that you'd want to smack the smile off her face ha.

Now understanding a small portion of the two of them, I'll give some insight, background on him.  This handsome man, during the courtship was in a walking cast, as he had completely ripped his Achilles tendon playing softball shortly before they met. Painful it sounds, I wouldn't know as I have never done such a thing to myself. Though I'm sure I could empathize with how painful it may have been. Anyways, the doctors wouldn't do surgery being as he had a blood clot in his leg, this had to clear up before any sort of operation could occur.

This, is where the story turns, it was a Friday and Ms. X. was excited for the plans that were previously set by the two of them to get together that night. Ms. X, looking at her phone most of the morning was wondering why she had not heard from this handsome man. Being a mildly forward person she took the initiative to reach out to him herself asking simply how his day was going. In response, she was quite surprised as she was expecting a nice "Good, how's your day?" because thats normal and awesomely genaric. Instead she receives something  similar to "Not so good, on the way to the hospital as I'm unable to breath, the doctor is scared that the blood clot moved. I will update you soon."

Don... Don... Don.... Guess what? Never again was Mr. Handsome heard from again. (Sad Face)

My Friend, she was quite worried about this man, waiting and waiting to hear back. It had been a couple of weeks, so curious on what could have happened she Googled "Blood Clot in leg". Reading through a couple of articles she understands the symptoms of this which looks normal, until she gets to the possible outcomes reading: "this can lead to severe difficulty in breathing and even death, depending on the degree of blockage."

DEATH???? WTF really? So she checked obituaries, would you have done that?

Bottom line is this, she didn't find any proof that death occurred (which would be extremely sad). Was this a Cruel joke? Did he for one reason or another decide he was done with the courtship? Did he decide he couldn't be man enough to tell her so he made up this story?

I guess we will never REALLY know, but I leave this with you to form your own opinion of what actually happened.  Though If you ask me, this is what I call "CRUEL LUCK".