2010, 2011

Today marks the last day of 2010.

Tomorrow marks the first day of 2011.

Goodbye to the old me.

Hello to an older me.

“Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.” - Oprah Winfrey

happy birthday

As the months pass by...

I think about you occasionally.

Although we never really talked much,

but you always never fail to say hi.

It's been 8 months since you're gone.

I hope you're at a better place now.

Life brings us hope, but it also brings us sorrow.

I hope there is no sorrow in your life anymore.

No matter where you are now.

You'll always be in our hearts.

Like i've always said.

It's like you've never really left us,

When schools gives us the toughest to handle,

you flash into our minds,

and that gives us courage to move on.

The kind of stress we go through,

is not what other people can imagine.

The kind of pressures we need to take,

is sometimes beyond our control.

It's the thing that hurts, but also the thing that binds us all together.

It's the thing that only we will know.

In times like this,

the thought of you,

pushes me to hang in there.

For that, i want to thank you.

On this special day,

May i wish you...

A very happy birthday.

I hope all's well for you, senior.

And a happy new year to you.

You're missed.

Life is too short.. and i am too young to have so many people leaving me.

I marvel at the miracles that life brings,

and i weep for its fragility.

With a beginning, there comes an ending.

I've learnt to treasure.

2 more days

2 more days to the start of a brand new year.

Even before it comes,

I'm already looking forward to the end of 2011.

A brand new year.

Hopefully i will regain

my freedom,

my happiness,

my time.

Hopefully i'll also be able to

make new friends,

meet new people,

learn new things,

spend more time with my family and friends.

It's been so many years.

It's the last lap.

May God bless.

2 days to the new year.

i'm not sure what to feel.

with fear for my last term?

or with hope for the freedom i can almost smell.

缺陷美

爱情之所以美丽是应为她不完美。

So.

Imagine Flynn rider dying in the scene where Rapunzel was supposed to save him.

I think people will have a deeper impression of the movie.

Just think about...

梁祝, Romeo and Juliet..

缺陷美。

Conclusion:

Fret not if you have a lot of 缺陷，

应为你是很美的。

hahaha.

Right~

Candy for the tooth lovers

Now now now..

What else can excite me so much other than tooth related candy?!

And the best part is..

It's sugar free. aka, xylitol containing candy!

Got it from IMM giant. hahaha.

Tooth shaped container with tooth shaped candy inside.

Xylitol is a sugar substitute. It's not fermented by bacteria, and hence no acid production.

FYI, acid causes tooth decay.

And according to some studies, Xylitol beyond a certain amount actually curbs bacteria growth.

So..

This is tooth friendly candy!

I love it.

And it comes with a nice little container.

And nope, they dun pay me to post this.

Justin

Say hello to...........

Justin.

This guy...

Never talked to him before,

Never even seen him before.

I don't know how he is as a person.

But..

He's my erm "boyfriend".

Or so my cousins say.

He is someone they(note: THEY) created.

They think i should have a boyfriend.

And hence,

He's existence.

As the saying goes,

When they're demand, there's supply.

When supply's short, prices soar.

That's the theory behind his existance.

To increase my er hem.. value.

Ahhhh..

How nice.

So if you guys hear this name,

Don't feel puzzled.

Justin is my "boyfriend".

Man..

How sad.

I hope my parents don't start believing that he exists.

That will require too much explanations on my part.

Sigh.

This is against my will.

似曾相识

I've found new friends lately.

And i can't help it, but feel that they remind me of someone i use to know.

Can't put a word to it,

And can't remember who.

But just too similiar.

It's scary.

I know they are different people,

But how can 2 behave so similiarly?!?!

The mannerism, the backview, the way they talk, the way they carry themselves.

Even the eyes are similiar.

And i know they don't know each other at all. Definitely.

And they aren't twins.

It's weird.

Sometimes i don't even know who i'm talking to.

Have you had that kinda experience before?

Woooooo...

I think that takes a while to get used to.

Christmas 2010

Christmas.

It's still the same old christmas.

Like how it was 3 years ago.

Nothing much has changed.

Just a little wiser,

A little less grumpy.

I met new people,

and made new friends.

Some entered my life, some left my life.

It's been a short year.

Time really flies.

Hopefully,

I would have regained my freedom this time next year.

Christmas 2011 will be different.

Merry Christmas to you.

24 Dec 2010

Merry Christmas.

awkward silence

The kid brushes his teeth.

The kid we all left out.

Both of us sat down.

Cheena pok and kantang kia.

The kid continues brushing.

Awkward silence. Occasionally broken by gurgling sounds.

I like this awkward silence.

Not the usual ones.

This one.

Exceptionally awkward.

Exceptionally comfortable.

The space in between 2 adults staring at 1 kid.

So huge, just like the difference in our personalities.

But i like it.

Must be the sound of brushing.

So therapeutic.

The sound that resonates in 2 minds.

The only thing that binds.

Brushing.

Friendship usually starts from nothing.

But for us, it starts from brushing.

Hello my brushing buddy.

I like the pink hue of the disclosing tablet.

(:

2011

I really want to graduate.

I have so many things i want to do.

To find friends,

To find time,

To read books,

Learn a language,

Learn a musical instrument,

Learn how to drive,

Learn how to take photos,

Travel,

Volunteer,

Make new friends,

Go to the beach,

Go fly kites,

Have time, give time,

Find love, give love,

be it to animals, to elderly, to children, to people.

and most importantly,

Reconnect with myself again.

It's so tough when there's the finals looming over.

Let me pull through.

Please.

cambodia 2010

I'm glad i went for this trip again.

Somehow, as we age,

our smiles fade.

We feel tired, we frown more.

It's only when one is surrounded by the children,

where one finds love,

finds happiness,

and finds back the smile we use to have.

They thank us for all the things we did,

But i thank them,

For letting me find myself once again.

I'm glad i went.

See you 2011.

hello dec

I'm not sure whether to be impressed..

Or should i continue to be un-impressed.

I don't know how things are going to turn out.

Oh well...

Let's jsut see.

I hope it doesn't kill my passion and what i stand for.

And don't make me dread what ever's going to come up.

last term

Sometimes my stress level hits new high and i can't take it but appear super frustrated.

Not exactly frustrated with the others, but with myself.

I don't know why.

Anyway,

Time flies.

It's been 4 years already.

I feel kinda scared. I don't know why. Somehow...

I think i might miss school afterall.

After all the hardships i've been through,

I can't seem to remember much anymore.

Things seem like a blur.

Not a total blue, but more like a myraid of images from various points in life.

From year 1 to year 4.

It's been a long way.

It's really going to be our last term.

Very daunting,

very sad.

It's going to be a tough journey.

Who's gonna stay, who's gonna leave,

I don't know.

Doing a recap of what has happened over these years leaves me in awe.

That so many things can happen at one time.

As memories of the years starts fading throughout the years when i age.

I hope this part of my life..

remains with me.

It made me stronger,

It made me cherish myself and my time even more.

If one day,

i think about my uni days,

it would be the days of hardwork, and many more.

Just help me get through this last lap.

Before i cannot take it anymore.

kids

when i look at kids nowadays.

I can't help thinking:

will this kid be the heart breaker or the heart broken.

Heh.

Random thought.

so nonsensical.

Last 2 terms

It's going to be my last 2 terms in school.

I hope i can complete all that i'm required to do.

But at the same time.

Ironically speaking,

I think i might miss school afterall.

I guess it's good to some extent.

At least i leave the place with less angst.

At least i've made some friends there despite the bad start.

I don't know whether we'll all still keep in touch though.

It's really hard to say.

Let's just hope that...

Things go smoothly for us from now on.

School

Times like this.

I'm happy i have them around me.

Thanks a lot.

sch, report etc

It's not gonna be long before i blow my top.

And it's day one of term 2 today.

this is seriously seriously testing my patience.

Now i dislike sch.

So much so i want to break my bond and give it all up.

I have had enough.

interesting incidents from my short trip overseas

the trip overseas has been a good one.

i am still missing my bed from holiday inn.. so soft. it's like cotton candy in my dreams.

some things occurred when i was overseas.

1. i walked into a guy's toilet looking for hand soap.

well, i guess i'm having eye probs, thus explaining y i walked into the guys toilet thinking it's the baby's room.

it was only when i was right in the middle when i saw 2 urinals staring at me. no urine-ers though.

heng.

but it kinda shocked this staff outside. she stared at me quizzically.

i bet she thinks i'm nuts. she could hardly close her mouth.

to hide my embarrassment.

i cool-ly said: do you know where i can get hand soap?" while trying my best to act oblivious to the fact that i entered the gents.

heh heh

incident 2:

classic phrase which set the other 2 girls into a fits of laughter. i dunno how this can sound funny.

" s** during menses is like digging your nose when u're having a nose bleed."

incident 3:

diarrhea after having yakult ribena blend.

incident 4:

"WAOH. hello 同胞们" when i saw this group of singaporeans. the guy smiled at my retarded-ness. i ate my ice cream.

incident 5:

"Selamat Datang!!" the goodie store guy said to me. i gave him a puzzled look. but i still took a cookie anyway. "

incident 6:

" sorry i can't take my metal safety pin out or my pants will drop." I told the officer at the customs. heh

incident 7:

" i wan the "传统鸡" when what i wanted to say to the KFC girl was that i wanted the original chicken and not the crispy ones.

传统鸡= traditional chicken

incident 8:

i bought a sgd 20 peach. only realising how ridiculously expensive it was after i've paid.

sgd 20. i secretly suspect that it's made of gold. i hope my poop has diamonds and gold bits in it after i ate the peach.

incident 9:

the flight steward:

- like all cats big or small, tiger likes to keep clean too, so please pass us your trash when we are collecting it.

- please switch off all electronic devices as they might cause sparks. sparks are only allowed when one passenger finds the other attractive.

- this is the flight to south africa.. hahah no la just joking. this is the flight to singapore.

incident 10:

- are you from thailand/korea/malaysia??? (WTF?!?!)

rough week

It's been a horrible week.

I feel lousy, i feel annoyed.

Thinking back,

I am starting to question myself how much have i really changed?

i wanted, and still want to leave the school in one intact piece.

But i see myself as a battered, torn, discoloured crumply piece of rag.

No longer the red vibrant piece of cloth which i first begun.

Would things be better if i've not accepted the offer?

Why are students so implicated into school matters....

Why can't they just let us study in peace?

Why can't everyone just appreciate one another.

Why can't everyone stop their attempts to try and step on each other to raise themselves higher?

Why can't everyone treat each other nicely at the beginning and not be rude just so they can make a statement?

Why can't people reciprocate kindness with kindness?

Why can't people realise that we are also in the same shit, we are all in the same situation and try adn help each other out?

Why can't people just stop what they're doing and reflect on the situation and try and change?

Why is it that everything which was done being taken for granted, and reciprocate that with selfish acts?

Why don't people just behave like adults,

like how people in a civilised society will behave as?

Instead of dwelling in the blame game,

instead of doing things for self benefit.

Why don't they see that we all have the same problems and helping each other out will be good?

Why don't we all see that we have a common goal?

I wonder if my decision was wrong to begin with.

I wonder if i would have made the same choice if i knew all these were waiting.

I am saddened by the fact that even i am starting to question myself.

If this is what i really wanted.

If i should even have worked hard to apply to come in..

politics, selfishness, etc etc

These are not my business.

i just want to come in a piece, graduate in one piece.

i just want to study.

i don't want all these. Just leave me alone.

Why can't that be achieved?

just get me out of here.

I am exhausted.

please spare me from all these.

Epitome of red wine

Someone once told me:

" some men are like red wine.They get better as they age."

This is the epitome.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqUxJ8WjTLw&feature=related

I've yet to find a similiar phrase describing ladies.

Rubberband

I miss home.

I miss my bed.

And i'm still home now.

I dread school.

It's seems like the 6mths more is inevitable.

I cry.

And it doesn't help.

I wanna embrace it all.

But things are not in my control.

There's only so much i can take in my stride.

So tired.

So strained.

So stretched.

Fatigue.

Save me from it all.

Bring me somewhere else.

Let me watch a movie.

Make me laugh.

Dry my sweat.

Let me run.

Let me fly.

Just let me issue my dentures and crown, complete my endo this term.

That's all i ask for.

but that seems too much isn't it?

bad shape. out of shape

You know you're in bad shape when..

1) you get stressed up because u cannot set up your denture teeth over the weekends for try-in the next week. That you realise u're crying out of frustration because of clinics and yet you realise that you go there when you're down. Irony.

2) You hate it when patients cannot come, keep Ps-ing etc. and pp who are FON.

3) you dislike festivals and public holidays which falls during term time cos that's going to affect your clinical schedule

4) you go into despair when H1N1 strikes and clinics is cancelled. While the other school children cheer with joy.

5) you talk about requirements, work, and more work. everyday. you eat, breathe, sleep and dream about work.

6) you just want to stop talking about school and dental related work cos it causes you to go into panic attack.

7) you feel jaded

8) you sleep minimally and work maximally. you wonder when you'll ever see the sun.

9) you dream about losing your teeth in your sleep. and you cry. wake up in cold sweat and look in the mirror just to make sure it's not coming true.

10) you wake up looking for the lower pair of your specs only to realise that you have been thinking about dentures. i mean. who has a lower pair of specs? you only have 1 don't you?

11) you accept the fact that yellow teeth are more natural.

12) you see more of your classmates than your family. you talk more to your classmates than anybody else.

You just wanna get out of school.

And that's me.

Predictability.

It's been a while.

Was informed just yesterday that my uncle had a stroke.

High dependency unit for the past 2 days already.

Life is really unpredictable.

Makes me re-evaluate what i really hold dear to my heart.

Makes me wonder...

If all that i am doing now is worthwhile.

If it's all worth the effort.

If it's indeed what i wanted all along.

Whether all the sacrifices are worth it.

I'm tired.

Time to retire.

Life is really unpredictable.

Treasure those around you.

God Bless.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

Goodnight, or rather....

Good morning.

no more entries after this.

Saw it finally.

So disappointing.

I don't know what to say.

I guess it's all my own fault.

I need to talk to someone.

but they're all not there.

nvm.

I don't even think anyone comes here anymore.

Everyone has their things to do.

forget it.

i'll not be blogging anymore for the time being.

bye.

To senior

It came as a shock.

I can never comprehend why you did what you did.

I don't understand why.

Your life is full of opportunities.

You're full of life.

You're always nice to everyone.

And i always see you smiling.

Now that you've chosen this path.

I wish you all the best.

Nothing can describe the pain your close friends in school is feeling now.

I cannot imagine how your parents and brother are feeling too.

But i really hope you find peace no matter where you are now.

You were such a nice girl.

So hardworking, being in lab earlier than anyone else.

Being so nice to your patients although you know they are coming late for clinical sessions and you'll be missing out precious clinical time.

Up till now i'm still hoping that this is not true.

Although i am not close to you,

But i feel upset by it.

I feel the lost.

Many of us do.

Perhaps it's because we see ourselves in you.

The things we go through.

The nonsense we need to bear with.

The nonsense we do in school and etc.

I wish this has never happened.

If only you knew how much you've been missed.

Please watch over your friends.

Bring them through the darkest time of their lives.

RIP senior.

graduate

I am trying to be positive.

Cos it'll make me love what i have.

And i really think i should start thinking positive thoughts.

And the first thing that came into my mind is...

1. I am going to graduate sooner than my juniors. That means i'll be able to spend more time with my parents and my cousins and my niece. Esp when she'll be turning one plus when i graduate. that's when i can bring her out and have fun. That's also when i can really spend time with my parents etc.

that is the one big thing i can looking forward to.

I shall work super duper hard to make sure i graduate on time.

I want to.

I hope i can.

Year 4.

School is starting in a few days time.

I feel the stress.

I feel the unfairness.

It can get really bad at times.

I just want to graduate on time.

I really don't think i can.

And that makes me really worried.

I don't care if you believe what i'm saying here.

But i'm in this whirlpool.

I know where i stand.

I know what my chances are.

It frightens me.

It's this kinda times when i wonder who can i really confide in.

year 4

School is starting soon.

Year 4.

I am getting cold feet already.

to my cousin

Italy.

It must be a very nice place.

Have a good trip.

you. me. us.

I don't think i've ever told anyone about this before.

But i don't believe in the word US.

I believe in me, i believe in you.

But i seriously dun believe in the word us.

So what about us?

What makes people think that when they get married, they really become one?

How confident are they, that marriage is better than courtship, and the qns is... why do people get married in the first place?

I think it's just over-rated.

The goodness of marriage, the feeling of someone who supports you and all that.

I don't believe in any of those things.

Marriage seems so good, simply because people say it is.

But i think we usually look at the package without reading the fine prints.

I look at others,

I look at myself.

I think i enjoy my freedom more than anything else.

Call me selfish, say i'm weird.

I don't think i am willing to compromise my freedom for anything else.

And i certainly don't think i will ever like the idea of living with SOMEONE and having to put up with all the shit that person gives me etc.

Well, i'm not saying that i'm expecting to recieve shit all the time, but i don't think i am prepared to even recieve a wee bit of nonsense at all.

Put it simply. I hate restrictions.

And i don't think i'm those ever accomodating kinda person.

On top of that, i seriously suspect that deep down... i'll feel pretty sick of seeing the same person day in, day out.

I think.... many people will disagree with my extreme view on marriage.

Nevermind.

To each his own.

Like i've said previously..

I believe in you, i believe in me.

But i don't believe in us.

And nope, i've not been in any traumatic relationships or what so ever.

Maybe you can call it revelation.

Holidays

I feel much happier this year.

It's like.. i've let go of some burden.

I wanna like studying again.

I wanna enjoy what i'm studying again.

But then again.

I'm happy that i'm having a break now.

It's a break i really need before i get so drained, that i'd collapse.

It's been mentally straining for me.

Physically tiring.

Emotionally draining.

I'm glad i have this break.

I welcome it.

Somehow i like it that i can sleep till i wake up naturally.

I like it that i can eat dinner with my parents at the dining table, watch tv with them.

I like it that i get to talk to my mum before we sleep.

I like it that i get t watch tv.

such simple pleasures in life.

Somehow..

I think i'll enjoy myself very veyr much if i'm a tai tai

But i'm not born to live that kinda life.

But really.

I really envy tai tais.

i really do.

Happy birthday

To me:

Happy birthday.

From: me

hello

Happy new year to all.

hello.

I hate school

School has been going on pretty badly recently.

No matter how much i study, i cannot remember.

Patients not being able to come for treatment,

Patients not turning up for treatment and MIA since then.

Gettin accused of not taking my work seriously,

Being one of the very slow ones in class,

Failing my tests,

Getting scolded and treated like trash for no apparent reason,

Being the slowest for dentures etc.

I don't know why i seem to be losing control of what i'm doing.

I don't understand why studies has turned into something that's so dependent on other people,

I don't understand why our system is so flawed and unfair,

I don't understand why others' attitudes towards us has to be this bad when we did nothing wrong.

I don't understand.

I seriously don't.

I hate school

Envious

I marvel at how some people are able to multitask so well and excel in whatever they are doing.

We all have a busy schedule.

I have no idea how they do it.

Seriously.

Why are some people so smart, so talented and so un-muggerish.

Envious.

开心

好久没有那么开心的吃晚餐.

有时后,

放松一下,

反而更精神.

好久没见了.

开心 :)

瞎

帮别人这么多....

但你需要帮忙的时候...

人呢?

有时还真是高估了自己的眼光.

我应该是瞎的.

回家

长大了.

回家的路不同了.

方向不同了.

是需要时间适应的.

幸运的是...

我功课很忙.

Ignore the background noise. It's the radio. Some random song i don't really fancy.

The rustling sound is becos i was trying to unwrap a ferrero rocher.

It's fattening.

Heck it.

IF.

IF i ever form a family next time.

I will not have only 1 child.

Cos i know how it feels.

But that's considering the fact that i get attached.

Not so likely.

Not in the near future.

ambiguous

so ambiguous.



i think i'm over analysing things.



i love the way things are right now.



so ambiguous.



i should stop being so presumptuous.



Heck it.

Gibberish

I reached home.

Tired.

Everyone's sleeping.

Who should i talk to?

I need to open my mouth and talk.

So....

I started talking gibberish to the brown fella lying on my bag.

And he fell asleep.

How supportive.

Can't seem to find anyone to talk to online.

All MIA.

Shall have another go at the fat ass and see whether he wakes up.

I live in silence.

shit

Ok. i'm cool now.

I touched shit today.

Less than 30 mins ago.

My niece's diaper leaked.

I touched shit.

I really did.

And it's brown.

So is the curry i ate for dinner.

Nice~

I'm feeling so fine just by being not in school.

Frustrations unleashed.

Don't ask me why i'm doing this or that or what i have been doing.

Don't ask me about something more than twice. 3 is the limit before i bark at you.

Don't touch my things without asking me and let alone arranging my things for me.

Don't search my bag or anything without my permission. This is so rude.

Don't talk to me when i'm not in the mood to talk, and that included early mornings.

Don't call me repeatedly, giving me miss calls etc when the issue is not about life and death.

Don't ask me why i nv reply/return calls. I am not your dog.

Don't make me repeat something more than twice. I hate it. 3 times and i'm not going to say anymore.

Don't give me work of poor quality thinking it's nth serious and it doesn't matter. I want 100% ALL THE TIME. i get seriously irked when the work sucks.

Don't try to be sarcastic, cos i'm not and my remarks aren't going to be very nice.

Don't try to make me pissed.

Cos i already am.

Depression and periodontist

Prof Lim (Periodontist) said during the stress lecture today:

"Depression is like periodontal disease. It has periods of quiescence and periods of activity."

This is so dental.

I like.

车和车站

好多人, 天天都搭巴士回家.

巴士好像变成了生命的一部份.

车站里, 有人等车. 想想, 就跟等人一样 .

在我的生命里, 我希望我等的就只有那一辆车.

不想和好多其他人一样,

车来了,便不加思索的上车.

到后来才发现到不了要去的地方.

付了钱, 浪费了时间, 但还是免不了要下车,

回到原点,

等下一趟车.

但是心情以和之前的不一样.

多了一份犹豫.

为何要赶着上车?

为何不等等看?

等到自己真正想要的巴士才上车?

难道一直在车站徘徊就是件不好的事吗?

难道一直等就代表会迟一点到达目的地吗?

我固然还在车站,

但我相信好的东西值得等.

毕竟我等的巴士还没来.

虽然我不清楚他是什么号码,

但是如果我上了车,

我就不下车, 直到终点站.

原因就是不想为了上车而上车.

我希望我一路上是开心的,

而不是因为上错车而惊慌失措的东张西望.

现在的我,

静静的等, 开心的等.

有时毕竟会羡慕车里的人.

但也只是瞬间即逝.

最终, 我的巴士一定会来.

现在最重要的是耐心的等.

等也没什么不好,

懂得自得其乐就好.

我的人生,

一趟车就够了.

虽然少了像过山车的刺激,

但却多了一份耐心的美丽.


:)

Wedding 090110

A big event today.

So much to say.

To the point i don't even know how i should start typing it.

Another phase of life.

We all need to move on.

No matter how unwilling we are, how sad we feel.

Things change.

And that is the constant in life.

I should be happy.

Cos i know she's going to live with someone who really cherish her, and whose family really loves her too.

Things can never stay the same as they were like the way it is when we were young.

And people never stay at the same point in life all the time.

It's hard to get use to it.

But we all learn.

Congratulations to my cousin, who got married today.

So near yet so far.

How apt.

But no matter what,

I am really happy for her.

School

To think that i'm going school tomorrow (i actually typed home, and realised it's typo. says a lot doesn't it.)

Stresses me out terribly.

Pisses me off horribly.

The more i think about it.

The more annoyed i get.

I do not know why.

I certainly think i will enjoy it more if ............................ ( i guess you all know the answer.)

oh well.

Say hi to school.

Waves Bye bye to home.

resolutions for 2010

My new year resolutions:

1. Gain a few inches, lose a few kilos. enough said. this is going to the top of the list.

2. eat as much as i want, whatever i want, as long as it makes me happy.

3. take photos and pose with silly faces. unglam means unglam. nvm.

4. take things as they are. avoid over planning. sometimes it takes skill to manage changes and plan on the spot. I need to enhance that skill.

5. Chill. Chill out as much as possible. Take things and deal with them as they come. This is something i've learnt from my cambodia trip this year.

6. Chilled. Chilled beer. Chilled wine. I want to learn how to drink. For real.

7. Work hard, play hard.

8. Find back the child in me. It has left me long ago before i even realised it. Now i need to find it back. I don't want to behave so aged-ly.

9. smile more. I heard that it kills double chins.

Impressive 2010.

The first impressive thing i did in 2010.

Complain.

As my neighbours cheer in joy over dinner,

my family ate in silence.

A typical day for us.

Nearing 12am.

My neighbours are drinking, doing the count down.

My parents are sound asleep.

I am the only one awake.

Typical day.

12.30am.

something impressive happens.

It wasn't my neighbour nor his friends' out of tune singing cum shouting in the middle of the night, in the middle of the road, in the middle of the street.

But rather...

something i did.

without thinking.

I walked over, arms crossed, pressed the bell and said:

" eh, can u lower your volume, it's 12.30am already. my parents need to sleep. it's so late already, please keep quiet."

I didn't really listen to his mum and her apologies,

i just rambled on, cutting her short. (oops)

I forgot to say thank you.

I did not say goodbye.

i turned and walk off.

cool.

arms crossed.

i never knew i can be so cool.

i didn't expect my new year to kick off so impressively. (more so than the fireworks.)

I am so proud of myself.

I didn't know i can be so cool.

* pats myself on the back.

Good Job.

I wonder if this is a hint of what i should be expecting for 2010.

heh.

i hope not.

I don't think my heart can take it.

2010

It's 2010.

It feels so surreal.

As my neighbours start the countdown and celebrate the start of a new year.

I am in my room.

I think about new year resolutions,

whether i should set them or not.

I think about school.

I think about clinics.

I think about my life.

2009 passed by so quickly.

It scares me.

Things to be done, not yet done.

It seems like 2009 was just a week gone by.

I know my life is should be more than what it seems now.

But i'm just tied down with constraints so i can't fulfil them.

2010 is here.

Just 1.5 years more.

A tough 1.5 years more.

And 2011 will be here.

I say bye to uni life (expected exciting but in fact is extremely mundane),

and i shall say hi to my life.1.5 years more.

It's scary how time flies.

I am scared.

Really scared.