First off, some background information: Kailee was a normal delivery and Allie was emergency c-section. To have another normal delivery (VBAC), I have to go into labor on my own as doctors don’t generally allow Pitocin. I hated my recovery from a c-section… it was 5 weeks of misery… and I did not want the rest of our kids to have to be delivered c-section. Studies show that Pitocin causes the body to have much stronger contractions and this will sometimes freak the baby’s heart rate out, which is partially why I had to have a c-section with Allie. Studies show that the c-section rate is much lower among women who do not get Pitocin or an epidural. Epidurals slow labor down and don’t allow you to feel your body as much through pushing. I could not help push with Allie… I felt nothing. So, to increase my chances of having a normal delivery, I decided to go without an epidural so I could labor mostly on my knees, birth ball, standing, whatever I wanted (lying on your back is not the best position for getting a baby out and helping baby to come out in the best position possible). So, I wrote down my story so that I NEVER forget the pain and so that I NEVER do that again!
I got my VBAC, but I NEVER want to go naturally again. That was the hardest thing EVER. My water had been broken for a while (I told them it broke at 5am, but I didn't tell them what day
(if your water breaks, keep drinking lots of water and your body will continue to make amniotic fluid... mine had been broken for like 36 hours when I went to the hospital, but they thought it was 12... they have a 24 hour policy... I was not worried b/c I could feel baby move all the time and birthing centers allow your water to be broken up to 72 hours) I wasn't contracting very much, so I finally went to the hospital hoping they could do something to help me contract and I luckily was given a little Pitocin to get my contractions going, but Pitocin makes the contractions so much stronger. I didn’t want to have to have Pitocin, but it was try that or get a c-section. I'd say it became very tough when I was dilated to a 7 and unbearable around 8cm and soon after I was BEGGING for an epidural b/c it hurt so bad. The pain was so intense, I couldn't scream or cry during the contractions b/c it hurt too bad and all of my efforts were spent trying to relax and make it through the contraction. I'd cry in between contractions to make up for when I couldn't cry lol. It was helpful to read “Mind Over Labor” b/c it reminded me to constantly think about relaxing my forehead, shoulders, my whole body, etc. and to take deep, slow breaths with my stomach. My husband and doula were constantly reminding me of that too. It is so hard to relax, but I would relax down low and I think it really helped to open my cervix and shorten my labor. So, I couldn't get an epidural when I was begging for it b/c I was dilated to a 9.5, so my midwife stretched me a tad to a 10 and I started pushing... the HARDEST thing ever. WOW. I don't know how I made it through. I asked Jared to say a prayer for me at some point and he put his face by my head so I could hear him and that got me through a few pushes and then I literally thought I couldn't do it, that I wasn't gonna make it, that I had nothing left to give and I remembered the blessing Jared gave me before we went to the hospital... he reminded me that the Lord had granted me the desires of my heart to become a mother and to have these beautiful girls and he blessed me that I'd have a quick and safe labor and that if I had faith, ALL THINGS WERE POSSIBLE. I remembered he and my Dad both told me they felt like I was gonna have this baby naturally. So, that helped me through my last 3 pushes and out she came! January 21st, 7 lbs. 15 oz. 20 1/2 in long, dark brown hair, long fingers & toes, soft, cute cry, beautiful!
The hardest part was feeling my hips opening throughout labor... it hurt so bad, but I must say, Jared massaging my lower back the 1st half of labor helped tons and the 2nd half when it was super intense, my doula would squeeze my hips and lower back together somehow and it helped alleviate some pain... it was unbearable without that squeezing. My doula was SUPER helpful. My total labor lasted a little over 4.5 hours... probably 30 mins. of pushing. I could feel the burning of myself ripping both ways... ouch... and her stitching me up b/c the lidocaine shots weren't working; she tried to numb me 3 times... so I spent an hour screaming while she sewed me up and I was shaking all over... not cold... just my body was in shock and it was exhausted. I couldn't even hold baby Lacie for an hour and a half and that was only for a few minutes b/c I passed out after it was all over due to blood loss, exhaustion, and the pain pills that were kicking in. She came out at 10:41pm and I had finally nursed and eaten dinner and was able to go to sleep at 4am. It was a LONG night.
(if your water breaks, keep drinking lots of water and your body will continue to make amniotic fluid... mine had been broken for like 36 hours when I went to the hospital, but they thought it was 12... they have a 24 hour policy... I was not worried b/c I could feel baby move all the time and birthing centers allow your water to be broken up to 72 hours) I wasn't contracting very much, so I finally went to the hospital hoping they could do something to help me contract and I luckily was given a little Pitocin to get my contractions going, but Pitocin makes the contractions so much stronger. I didn’t want to have to have Pitocin, but it was try that or get a c-section. I'd say it became very tough when I was dilated to a 7 and unbearable around 8cm and soon after I was BEGGING for an epidural b/c it hurt so bad. The pain was so intense, I couldn't scream or cry during the contractions b/c it hurt too bad and all of my efforts were spent trying to relax and make it through the contraction. I'd cry in between contractions to make up for when I couldn't cry lol. It was helpful to read “Mind Over Labor” b/c it reminded me to constantly think about relaxing my forehead, shoulders, my whole body, etc. and to take deep, slow breaths with my stomach. My husband and doula were constantly reminding me of that too. It is so hard to relax, but I would relax down low and I think it really helped to open my cervix and shorten my labor. So, I couldn't get an epidural when I was begging for it b/c I was dilated to a 9.5, so my midwife stretched me a tad to a 10 and I started pushing... the HARDEST thing ever. WOW. I don't know how I made it through. I asked Jared to say a prayer for me at some point and he put his face by my head so I could hear him and that got me through a few pushes and then I literally thought I couldn't do it, that I wasn't gonna make it, that I had nothing left to give and I remembered the blessing Jared gave me before we went to the hospital... he reminded me that the Lord had granted me the desires of my heart to become a mother and to have these beautiful girls and he blessed me that I'd have a quick and safe labor and that if I had faith, ALL THINGS WERE POSSIBLE. I remembered he and my Dad both told me they felt like I was gonna have this baby naturally. So, that helped me through my last 3 pushes and out she came! January 21st, 7 lbs. 15 oz. 20 1/2 in long, dark brown hair, long fingers & toes, soft, cute cry, beautiful!The hardest part was feeling my hips opening throughout labor... it hurt so bad, but I must say, Jared massaging my lower back the 1st half of labor helped tons and the 2nd half when it was super intense, my doula would squeeze my hips and lower back together somehow and it helped alleviate some pain... it was unbearable without that squeezing. My doula was SUPER helpful. My total labor lasted a little over 4.5 hours... probably 30 mins. of pushing. I could feel the burning of myself ripping both ways... ouch... and her stitching me up b/c the lidocaine shots weren't working; she tried to numb me 3 times... so I spent an hour screaming while she sewed me up and I was shaking all over... not cold... just my body was in shock and it was exhausted. I couldn't even hold baby Lacie for an hour and a half and that was only for a few minutes b/c I passed out after it was all over due to blood loss, exhaustion, and the pain pills that were kicking in. She came out at 10:41pm and I had finally nursed and eaten dinner and was able to go to sleep at 4am. It was a LONG night.
I feel strongly I would have had to have a c-section had I not gone natural, so I'm glad I did it, but I won't ever do it again. Next baby (our last probably), I'll get a small dose of epidural at about 6cm and hope for a VBAC but if I end up with a c-section, I'm okay with that... at least it will only be 2 c-sections, rather than 3 total. I could not have done it without the support of my doula and my husband. I labored the last 2 hours on my knees leaning over the top of the bed and hugging Jared while the doula was squeezing my hips and working my back. Oh, when I was dilated to a 7, I asked for pain medicine through my IV... they said it would only take the edge off... but at the same time, they upped my Pitocin another level, so it's like they cancelled each other out, b/c I never felt any relief... pain just got worse and they said that it only lasts an hour. They can't give you any medicine through the IV once you’re dilated to an 8 because it would make the baby sleepy and they needed baby to help kick out of me. Jared said it was the hardest thing to watch me in so much pain but he thinks I did a great job relaxing and staying calm. The few times when I would forget to relax and scream, it hurt more... so relaxing and not getting an epidural helped my labor to be super fast! I was not prepared with how hard natural labor would be though because I have a friend who said it's hard, but totally doable... she had 5 naturally, but looking back now, we are two completely different people and I will never do that again. I cried for over an hour after because it was so traumatizing for me... it took a while for my body to calm down and stop shaking. Phew... so glad it's over. There’s Lacie’s birth story! She is beautiful and such a sweet, cuddly, perfect baby! We are in love once again and are cherishing every day with our baby girl, as it very well might be our last baby girl. Jared has high hopes for a baby boy next go round!
Pictures below :)
