The Call

As a screenwriter I often dreamed of the moment I would be nominated for an award. Well, a few years back my screenwriting partner and I wrote a short comedy called back on top. It centered around a somewhat manic, scummy agent and his long in the tooth client actor who took himself a little too seriously and script about lunch money. It was for a contest and we took first runner up. It was exciting and an honor to capture that prize and it was a validation that kept us going for some time.

I felt the same way yesterday when I saw the nominations for the Preditors & Editors. My short story, No Ordinary Love had received four nominations. Best Short Story Romance, Best Author Page, Kate Lynd, Best  Book Editor, Tanja Cilia, and Best Cover Artist, Delilah Stephans. How incredible is that?

I know there are those who think of these things as popularity contests, but I'll be honest, this is the first thing I've been picked for since my Young Authors win in Middle School and I am incredibly excited.

No Ordinary Love was born when I saw the preview for Cowboys & Aliens preview for the first time back at the first of the year. Jon Favreau is something of a genius and Daniel Craig was yummy to look at. But the film IS great fun and great storytelling. I hope you'll take a moment to go to http://Critters.org/predpoll/ and vote for  No Ordinary Love as Best Short Story Romance and Best Author Page as Kate Lynd. And vote for my fellow compatriots Tanja Cilia and Delilah Stephans as well. My publishing house, MuseItUp Publishing is up for Best Bookstore I hope you'll vote for them as well.

Well, enough of my campaigning on my blog for the day. Here is the voting link one last time, http://Critters.org/predpoll/ have a good day!

It's Official: GLADIATOR Finds A Home

My book, GLADIATOR has scored a home with MuseItUp Publishing. Where I will again be working with Tanja Cilia whom I had the pleasure of working with as my editor on No Ordinary Love. I know I'll have to work on this particular piece as I was a bit manic when I wrote it but I am thrilled that my third book this year is with Muse.

I'm not as prolific as say, oh, Lin the masterful blogger, authoress extraordinaire that she is, but I am currently doing the happy dance as I loved writing that story and am currently embroiled in writing the second book in the series ORACLE. Instead of Daniel Craig as the hero it is the delightful Ryan Reynolds. I saw a preview for Safe House and suddenly saw him in a sexy gritty way that hadn't been made apparent to me by his other roles (that I'd seen). 

I'm not sure what movie this is from but it's perfect as a writing totem of sorts. The fact my hero currently has a gunshot wound lends some interesting facets to this picture. Other than that let's just call this what it is, an excuse to worship that body.

Also January is coming up and I believe I will be receiving my first royalties check from MuseItUp Publishing! Yay! That means I've sold enough copies of No Ordinary Love to score a $20 check. Which may not mean much to some but it means a heck of a lot to me. It means people have bought my book and may buy others by me.

Which means when Another Way To Die comes out I should have some people wanting to buy it as well. Fingers crossed. If your interested in checking out either of those stories the buy and pre-order links are located in to the sidebar. The gorgeous coves are by Delilah Stephans. I don't know if I'll luck out and get her again for Gladiator but Muse has a fantastic cover art team who work their butts off. 

Lea, thanks for being such a gem. I know I'm a handful sometimes but maybe I can make you some money at the end of the day ;).

A special shoutout to Jude Stephens and Teresa Kleeman of No Boundaries Publishing, you all are wonderful, and if your looking for a home for your books checkout http://MuseItUpPublishing.com or http://NoBoundariesPublishing.com.

Falling In Love

I think I've mentioned this before working on a story is a bit like falling in love. Sometimes your thunderstruck and feel light on your feet and like you are the queen of the world. And at others you ache with the knowledge the object of your affection may never know you exist.

Unrequited love is like sweet torture. You adore the person and wish they would know you do exist. You find yourself listening to love songs of all kinds. Bluesy, pop, country, you revel in the highs and wallow in the lows. Having been in this situation more often than not I know when I got it bad. And I got it bad for this new story's hero.

James is the hero of ORACLE. A former disobedient Gladiator he takes a shine to a local slave girl singing for her supper. When a couple of the regular customers threaten her he intervenes on her behalf and sets off an unexpected chain of  events.

A broken man with issues he finds comfort and redemption in her. But she has secrets of her own, one of which is was she chooses only to communicate through singing and telepathy. Can he breakthrough to her in time to unlock what tortures her so?

I don't know. I just started the story, I hope you'll stay tuned. And I may have some exciting news coming soon, so I hope you'll come back.

Christmas Comedown

What would Christmas be without togetherness with your family and friends. And presents lots and lots of presents. LOL And dinner and travelling and God knows at least one confrontation to go down the pipeline. I got every bit of that and more.

Starting Christmas Eve morning I exchanged gifts with my best friend Missy. I got a matching coffee  and espresso cup, candy, a Black and Decker programmable coffee maker, a Daniel Craig calendar, a special cover of a magazine featuring me and Daniel Craig, Cowboys and Aliens, Romancing the Stone (inside joke), the Road to Perdition, a Daniel Craig travel mug, and a monthly planner.

Then on to Mom's house where I received, a NaNoWriMo Messenger Bag, Jack Skellington earmuffs, a Jack Skellington necklace, headphones, an Adele 21 CD,  a beautiful cinema portait , the Peanuts mini figure nativity, pajamas, and the old standby socks and underwear lol.

I proceeded to have an argument with Brandy when she tried to weasel mom's Christmas gift out of her and it got ugly. Then got lectured for two hours by my other sister and mother about what a poor victim my sister was. They think I hate her. But I don't. I just don't want to be around her all the time. We don't exactly travel in the same circles.

I got one hundred dollars from my biological father and a tea lights and candlelight holders from Doris his ex-wife and current girlfriend.

As far as gifts go I had a good Christmas. I'm a happy girl today as I had lunch with Pam today and some coffee afterwards. I still have to write a new story *sigh and imagine some hunky guy as the hero. Such is life. LOL.

I hope everyone had as good a Christmas as I did. And may the closing days of 2011 be as good for you as I hope they will be for me.

The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo- The Review

The Hollywood version of the Girl With the Dragon Tattoo has arrived and let me just say, for someone who has been waiting for this film for quite some time it lived up to all of my expectations and then some. From Trent Reznor's terrific score to Fincher's use of stark, dark cinematography the film resonates with the thrilling, pulsating power that the books do and leaves no question as to if Fincher could carry an American version of the already popular Swedish classic.

For those who know nothing about the books, a quick primer. Mikail Blomkvist is a fallen from grace journalist set up by a distasteful sort and is thus without a place of employment at the beginning of the film.

Which is how he becomes drawn into the mystery of Harriet Vanger's mysterious disappearance from her family's estate. Which is how he comes to know Lsbeth Salander a hacker who doesn't suffer fools lightly and will do anything to protect herself.

Slowly they begin to trust one another and a partnership blossoms in the midst of some of the darkest shit imaginable. It is easy to see why Rooney Mara received a Golden Globe nomination but Daniel Craig is no less a great actor he's just her calm straight man although he is something of a womanizer which sets up an ending not everyone will find satisfying.

Just remember this is not a romance and you'll be fine. But the violence depicted in the film is dark, disturbing, but lightened from the book. I give this film a four star rating. As my sister says it's nothing Lsbeth Salander can't handle.

Writing Totems

Every writer has their totems. Whether it's the picture of the guy for your next hero or a special pen, or even a certain notebook. For me it's my Daniel Craig magazine covers and my Jane Austen action figure.

I've had it for a few years now. Missy got it for me from a shop called Something To Do. She sets atop my defunct desktop tower along with my autograph of Adrian Paul picture and little statue from A Christmas story. She has seen me through some very dry years. There was a period when I didn't write at all. I thought I could only co-write and I couldn't get my co-writer to write at the pace I wanted her to.

Since 2003 that changed. NaNoWriMo really kicked me into high gear and even though it took until 2010 to get published I've been writing pretty much my whole life. And having writing totems along the way helps.

Jane has 'watched' over me the last few years and I haven't even taken her out of the box she came in. I love her so much I finally broke down and ordered one for Missy this year. She moves at her own pace and the more you force an issue you the slower she'll go. But she wrote two complete books this year, one solo, one with me.

For anyone who co-writes and doesn't hit and bumps along the road, well, I hate you for it because there is always a point in the stories we write when it's full out war. And time has to go by before we'll sit down together and go through the highs and lows of it again. But then, that's what happens when you have two chiefs writing together. Someone has to take the supporting cast and no one wants to do that when it comes to me and her.

But I bought her a Jane to guide her, and hopefully 2011 will be the year she breaks through in the publishing world.

My Favorite Thing

It's a funny thing. I've never been anyone's favorite anything. Like favorite cousin, favorite aunt, or favorite daughter. So when you connect with a kid who's a little outside the mainstream or someone who has similar interests as you it's nice. I have three cousins Mary Jo, Bridgette, and Rebecca who I think are the sweetest kids in my family. They're smart, they think for themselves, and are productive members of society. I just don't see that from everyone else. Not that my nieces and nephews and other cousins aren't I just don't have that special connection with them. 

Last night I had a great time sitting and eating with the Maculiffe branch of my family. All I did was get them a notebook to write their stories in, and the other one I got a calender of places in Paris. I enjoyed the time very much. I've never been looked up to before. Only ever looked at as strange and weird and something not understood. I guess I see something similar in these girls. They come up to me anytime I'm around and Mary Jo (12) loved her notebook so much she hugged me several times and got a pencil and started writing immediately. Rebecca (17) did the same. (Only one hug). 

I have other cousins who are mean and spiteful and incredibly bitchy. They have what I like to call the Skinny Bitch Syndrome. They think because they're pretty it gives them cart blanche to treat people like crap. When in all reality they are ugly and unpleasant people to be around. They go out of their way to be hateful and measure what they have versus what everyone else got. I wish I could say I see them transcending their station in life but given the example that they are given at home I don't have much hope for them. 

Who knows? I didn't think my sister Sabrina stood a snowball's chance in hell of being productive member of society either but she turned out to be the hero child in my biological father and stepmother's lives. She is now happily married and I hope she has all the happiness in the world.

But as for those girls, I would have never guessed they would look up to me at all. I've never had that experience. It's kind of heady. 

There's this free writers conference in Bowling Green I'm thinking about taking them to if their parents are keen to it. They would get out of school for a day and so I KNOW they would be up for it. It's only two hours from home and Rebecca is going to Europe this summer as a music ambassador. So I'm wondering if I should take all of them or just Mary Jo. Anyway. That was my favorite thing about the party last night and as I wait for my guest for tonight's I think I'll dream of the Smokehouse BBQ that's heading my way.

Christmas Party Weekend

What are the holidays supposed to be about? Christmas is all about togetherness and peace on earth and good will towards men. But sometimes in the effort to make the perfect Christmas perfect all of that seems to be lost in hub and bub.

This year I really only one goal. To help my best friend to get through probably what will be the worst Christmas ever. Except for maybe last year. She lost her dad to botched transplant surgery and even though she has been feeling her way through the year and trying to get through it the 23rd will be a crappy day no matter how you cut it.

What makes this especially hard for me is that my depression of my bipolar disorder seems to like rear its ugly head this time of year and 'faking it out' is especially hard. So this Friday I'm making a meal of her choice and giving her one of her presents. I know the day will be difficult for her, honestly, I miss him too. Harold was a great guy who loved his family very much.

No one is perfect, but Harold was the guy who could tell you what was wrong with your car, and up until a lemon of a Grand Am he worked on Missy's vehicles. Next to me he was her best friend and like any father, the one you measure others against (well, the good ones anyway).

This weekend I will be surrounded by my mom and dad, and they are the ages of Missy's parents. I worry now. I watched how quickly things can go from 'he's coming home' to 'he's never coming back'.  So I'm here even though I'd rather be at home hiding. Although I don't know how much of that is the bipolar disorder and how much of that is really I want to be hiding.

Then Sunday I have a small dinner party with Pamela Turner and Missy Goodman. YAY! Much to do to get ready for that. I do better in smaller groups.

So I am grateful for what this last year has brought, new friends, book contracts and the itch to write more.

For Your Consideration...Muse Gala Awards, Christmas Edition

Yesterday I told you why you should consider me. Today I'm telling you why you should consider these other lovely writers at MuseItUp Publishing.

I know, I know yesterday I told you that I was a competitive and that I wanted a shiny new trophy. But there are others at Muse who are just as good at what they do and they deserve a little campaign love of their own.
Let's start with the most beloved and prolific mother/daughter duo at MuseItUp. Lin and Kat Holmes.

Lin has so many blogs and so many blog hits she puts me to shame. She is so prolific the last time I heard she had a baker's dozen stories at Muse and counting. She does stationery trailers that a beautiful and generous. And she is one heck of a protective mama. I don't know if there is an award for that but hey, I say why not? It's my For Your Consideration...Christmas Edition blog and can nominate people in whatever category I deem necessary.

Kat, just as innovative and talented as her mother she has a great radio talk show, award winning stories and an absolutely sweet nature to boot. She is a loving daughter and she promotes just the same by arranging reviews for our books. Wow, how did we ever get so lucky as to find them?

Next I give you Karen Cote. She is, as Lin puts it absolutely a comet. She busts her tail and has the sales to prove it. She is a promoter, a genuine spirit, and has one of the best blogs around. Her heart is huge and she is talented to boot. I am proud to not only call her a colleague but a friend as well.

There are so many to mention Ginger, Ro, of course Lea and Litsa. Then there's Tanja my favorite morning touchstone before I start writing and promoing for the day.

If I could rewards all of them with a nice shiny trophy I would. Instead I'll be sure to RT them and give them a  shoutout any time they need one.

For Your Consideration...the Muse Gala Awards

As I mentioned in my last post it's that time of year again. Awards show season in Hollywood. For me it's the most wonderful time of the year. Good films, movie stars, and parties to celebrate their accomplishments. Throwing Oscar parties are a time honored pastime in my household. So when I heard the Muse Retreat next November was going to include a Gala Awards I had a wishlist of stars I wanted to go with. Daniel Craig of course ;), Maurice Benard, and Real Andrews were at the top of the list. I'm still campaigning on that front. Hey, a girl can dream can't she? And I suddenly desired something I had always wanted but never received growing up. A trophy.

Yes, a trophy. A shiny, pretty trophy trumpeting my accomplishment. Yeah, yeah I know you write for the love of writing, publication is the point of all this. I do write for the love of writing, and I have been fortunate enough to score two contracts. I have gorgeous covers and belong to wonderful community of writers online and have even developed some friendships. Karen, Kat, Lin, others not mentioned by name you are all wonderful giving people. You are all superstars in my book.

But I have a secret, I am competitive person on a limited budget. I've already got a huge order in to Delilah in January. But I am going to Montreal next November and have decided to mount my very own, Hollywood-style For Your Consideration Campaign.

Over the coming months I will be rolling out an ad in http://thebookbreeze.com doing book signings and doing everything I can to drive business into http://MuseItUpPublishing.com's bookstore. The 'categories' I'm campaigning for are:

Best Use of Twitter: Kate Lynd
Best Blogger: Amy McCorkle
Best Short Story Sci-Fi Erotica: No Ordinary Love
Best Short Story Dark Romantic Suspense: Another Way To Die

In order to do this I need to raise $150.00. Any donation is welcome and will only be used to pay for the ad. This is not a plea to pay for my 'good time'. This is something I think will benefit a lot of people and Muse as the address will be included in the ad. The button is there. Use at your discretion. And happy writing and good luck everybody!

SAG Nominations and Sons

It's that time of year again. Awards show season. I know it's just a popularity contest and not necessarily about who has the best performance because SOA was totally shut out of the nominations. Which has some of the best dramatic performances on television, Kate Segal, Ron Pearlman, Charlie Hunam and a score of other actors could have dominated from this show. It just goes to show where often and older, squeamish generation of

actors who can't take it when the envelope is pushed. Sometimes they look down on something they don't understand. Or just plain fear it. Last year Kate Segal won for Sons. This year she was shut out. Sometimes you just have to realize you're never going to win the approval of the mainstream and go your own way.

Yes Sons of Anarchy is violent. Some would call it a violent soap opera. But in reality it is Shakespearian sporting its very own Lady MacBeth in Gemma and it's own Hamlet in Charlie Hunam. And this season they were never better than in the closing episode with song House of the Rising Sun playing and Jax taking the head of the table where his murdered father by his wife and best friend had set only 24hrs before. The way everyone played their part was absolutely fabulous.
As a writer you dream of ending your stories this way. The creator of the show says he has two more years worth of story. A shame. I adored X-Files even in that choppy 7th season but left after they replaced BOTH title characters.

Stephen King likes a lot of the same shows I do. Only I'm a big fat nobody and he's a big enough writing star to be able to do a featured walk on role in Sons. Awesome. I hope you'll check out this show. Awards or not. I don't know if Sons will travel the road of the X-Files or to the elegant ending of LOST, but I'm all in for the ride.

The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

Saturday, on Twitter, a very tantalizing offer was brought to my attention. And even though I had no idea of how I would actually pay for it if I did win, I placed a bid on Ebay for the Girl With the Dragon Tattoo New York Premiere tickets. You got to walk the Red Carpet and see the stars and see the movie. And given that Daniel Craig is my guy and all I placed a bid for $611.00.

Yes, $611.00. And that still doesn't account for travel to NY and a hotel and the outfit. How was I even going to do it? I don't know. But could I have ever forgiven myself for not at least trying?

I mean look at these schlumpy looking men in the picture. Daniel just looks so comfortable in his own skin . So sexy. *sigh Is it no wonder why I like to use him as a model for my heroes?

Of course I'd be mortified if he ever read half the stuff
I wrote about him on here. The false sense of anonymity the computer gives you is a seductive thing. But still when I lost out on the tickets (they eventually went for $1,025.00) it was almost a relief. There was no way I could have made it up to NY on what I make. But still I wonder how I would have handled it all.

I have a anxiety and all those flashbulbs popping in my face, not a good thing. Of course who am I? Nobody so maybe not so much lol. Then there's the throngs of people such as myself there to see the movie and the stars. That would have been much more difficult to handle. I'm claustraphobic and I might have missed out on getting an autograph from Daniel Craig. Going all that way and coming up empty handed would have sucked. This way I'm no worse off and still empty handed.

Maybe one day I'll get to meet him. Until then I just write my books and stay in my bubble. I'm running a contest. If you can name my hero and heroine from No Ordinary Love and name the movie that inspired it you will win a free copy of the movie Casino Royale. In the comment box be sure to leave your name and email so I can contact you.

Christmas Play

The two kids in the picture are my cousins Adam and Austin. They were Gramps and Donald Rainey in A Cricket County Christmas and they were a hoot.

I love going to the play because it's the closest thing to a dinner theater (albeit a far cry from it) I get to go to. Adam and Austin are great kids and I wish sometimes I saw them more often, but I try to go to Adam's football games and next year I'll hit Austin's cross country meets. I hit Isaiah's and Jonathan's basketball and soccer games. And Adam's football games. They were fantastic in the play and both are very funny. But if anyone has a true gift for it it would be Adam. He's very natural and understated. If it was something he wanted he could be the kind of actor who became a superstar.

Austin loved the crowd reaction and was quite funny, but he had a role where he could ham it up a bit. He would be Jim Carrey and Adam would be Daniel Craig. Two wildly different stars, but each one talented nonetheless.

Then you have Rebecca and Mary Jo. Rebecca played the older Mimi while Mary Jo was the Innkeeper who did a lot of the heavy lifting with Adam. They were wonderful to watch as well. And while Rebecca was good, Mary Jo was pitch perfect. If she wanted to be a serious actress she could. She got a little flumoxed at the end but she really nailed the straight woman role.

Everyone else was, well, like they should be. Kids having fun with parents coming to support them. If I were being harshly honest I would say this had nothing to do with the kids and everything to do with a certain adult's thwarted creative voice. Which led her to make some really big missteps in the service.

The re-enactment of Bing Crosby and David Bowie's duet. Even though the music was ok, the set up of the scene was just as forced and uncomfortable now as it was when the REAL people did it. And they did a reading which was all lamentation and death until about 20 seconds from the end when there was the bit that Linus nails much more effectively in Merry Christmas Charlie Brown. It was bad people. And when you lose my dad's interest then you have really missed the mark because he was handing out money to the girls who didn't miss they're lines, and folks all of my cousins got five dollars and in total he spent 40 dollars on them and they'd already gotten a 20 dollar gift cards from my aunt.

 

But for my money truly the cutest kid all night was my 5 year nephew as the Little Drummer Boy. Jonathan had no lines and his ears were sticking out like cab doors with the bandana he was dressed in but he was truly adorable and worth the bad pasta and overpriced cake and the looooong goodbye that put me home at 10PM instead of 9 but I had a good time and it got me out of the house.

So if you have any relatives that are children in a Christmas Play whether it's at a church or a school or maybe even the Great White Way, go pay the price of admission and enjoy the evening with friends and family. I know I get nit picky but it doesn't mean I can't appreciate the effort they put into it. Besides. These are trained thespians, but kids having a good time.

The Descendants

Yesterday was a good day. Sometimes the bipolar disorder is really nasty and doesn't allow for any fun. Yesterday was great. I went to the bookstore. I wrote. I set up an author event, laid the ground work for another and saw one of the best films of the year. Definitely top three. The Help and CrazyStupidLove being the other two. Now I looooooved Cowboys & Aliens but that's not the kind of movie Oscar likes, although I think the mash-up of Sci-Fi and Western genres should make it a contender, but I digress.

Films on the human condition and epics are usually what the Academy go for and when you have the pleasure of sitting down and watching a great one that is able to avoid taking itself too seriously then you're in a for a real treat.

Are you from a messed up family? Then you are going to love The Descendants. I think my best friend and I laughed in parts because we know people like the ones in this film and those around us thought we were nuts. Or maybe they thought they were supposed to be 'serious'. Listen this is what the film is about.

George Clooney plays Matt King a married father of two girls who is dealing with the fact his wife is in a coma and discovers she's been having an affair and that she was going to leave him. He is totally disconnected from his emotions and his family and he must come to terms with that, connect with his daughter and figure out how he feels about his wife.

George really knocks it out of the park in this film, and may be looking at an Oscar nomination, as does the young lady who plays his eldest daughter annd Robert Forrester who plays his father-in-law. This is the stuff Best Pictures are made of. And even though it's a heavy film it does have a powerful message at the end and is totally worth the price of admission. 4 Stars out of 4 Stars.

A Parade of Heroes

Everyone here knows of my not-so-secret love affair with Daniel Craig. I mean if I imagine it he's the model of many of the heroes in my books and stories. And I like him anyway I can imagine him. As a Bureau agent in #SetFireToTheRain, as an assassin #AnotherWayToDie, as a half-breed human alien in #NoOrdinaryLove, or even as a futuristic #GLADIATOR. 

I could post endless pictures of the man and just sigh at the way he smolders. And it seems the darker he is the more I like him. All of my heroes are damaged in some way or another. I like the idea of broken people finding peace with one another. It's a romantic notion. When the reality is we are all broken to some degree by our pasts and it's how we deal with that brokenness that allows us to function in our daily life.

I am at a crossroads of sorts. All of the those stories above are basically book 1 of a series. And choosing a story to write is difficult when all them speak to me at once. I mean even my Ryan Reynolds hero Luke Logan and Ryan Gosling hero want to get in on the action. Honestly, people want to see more and it's a place I've worked hard to get to. Now what? More time with dark, brooding, hunky heroes. *Sigh, as one my commenters said once, sometimes life is so hard ;).

Sex in Stories and Holiday Gifts

Really, I should have called this post intimacy in stories. Mostly because you can have sex without intimacy and intimacy without sex. But the best combination for my money in a story is sex with intimacy.

In the book I'm writing now, Set Fire To The Rain they main characters sleep together the night after they meet. But the story took me there. But I don't show the sex. I show the intimacy before the sex and close the door before they do anything. It alters them both in a big way.

But I can write graphically too. And have fun doing it. Make no apologies for it and sometimes it's hot and sometimes it's tame. But I always try to show the emotional connection between the two people.

As for multiple partners, I've never written that, not because I'm above it but mostly because I don't share my toys in real life so it's hard to put myself in a frame of mind of where I'd want to share them in my creative life. It's just not a fantasy or reality to me. But I've seen people handle that subject matter wonderfully. Kat Holmes comes to mind.

As for my erotica tales they have to turn me on some so if I'm not who else will be? I guess that's the real yardstick for anyone. I get embarrassed when talking in an uncontrolled setting about my erotica books funny huh? Ask away at booksignings or online. I know I'm still somewhat repressed myself when it comes to that stuff.

So if your looking for a enduring passion and true love where the sex is hot you should checkout No Ordinary Love. You can click on the buy button to your right and it will take directly to the buy page.

If you like your romance on the dark side and can handle violence, danger, and a hero to die for then you can click on the Another Way To Die pre-order button. Excerpts from both books are available on the excerpt page.

Memories Of Movies Past...

Have you ever wanted to make a movie? Get rich? Win awards? Be known as the next big thing?

If you want to keep your sanity then I'm here to tell you now. Stop. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars. Go back to whatever your daily life is and just do that. Think writing a book will test your nerve? Well, it does, and it's hard, but nothing and I mean NOTHING will prepare you for what filming a microbudget movie.

Let's start with the script. There is this notion that writing a novel is all about art and a screenplay is just easy pasy money making scheme. Think again.

The writing of a quality script comes with constraints. Unlike a novel you have 90-120 pages to tell your story, especially when you're trying to breakthrough. If you ever breakthrough. Hollywood is an old boy young boy's club and if you're a woman you have to have some real chops or a real high concept to breakthrough. Chops: JK Rowling, Concept: Stephanie Meyers.

Indie is friendlier towards women but if you have a tandem directing team and your partner is a guy lookout for people naturally gravitating towards him. I didn't have that problem I had other problems.

If someone doesn't know their lines at the beginning they're not going to know them at the end and they are going to really fuck up the flow of your movie and make it impossible to edit it in the post production process. Fire them immediately. They will do nothing but cost you what little money you do have and cause you endless headaches.

But, if you are interested in making a movie I have one word of advice. COMMIT. Not halfway but 110%. It will not be easy. The picture is of me holding the promotional poster of Going Under from 2005. The designer of the poster is Paul Reynolds. You can checkout his artwork at Reynolds Originals on Facebook.

Too Far From Texas was the film I had all the drama on. Going Under was much better. But my best experience was probably Southern Fried and Laid to the Side.

Violence In Stories

There are some stories I write where violence is graphic. Sometimes it is physical. Sometimes it is emotional. And yes, sometimes it is sexual. I don't necessarily apologize for these stories. My stories are personal, and while I might not necessarily have been trained as an assassin ;) or sold into sexual slavery but I do know what it's like to be passed around to my biological father's friends and I know what it's like to be smacked around. Shit like that ain't pretty and people don't like to look at it sometimes but I think books like The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo and Winter's Bone get to a truth and show where it can be profitable for a publisher to look at those stories and publish them.

I wrote a short story and the main characters are flawed. Incredibly so. Flawed characters are much more interesting to me. Gritty, raw, and emotional they are wounded and do things that aren't always nice and written in black and white. Some people are offended by that and really that's okay with me, it's a risk I take knowingly and without apology.

I wish I could make everyone love my stories, hell, I'm a natural born people pleaser lol. And I'll admit it stings when people get hyped about the nature of how I tell a story. I wish it didn't, but hey, I'm only human.

For those who read my stories and like them I'll keep writing them. For those who write 'cleaner' fiction and are offended by what I do, you don't have to read my stuff and I won't read yours, I personally find Christian fiction boring. That doesn't mean anything about your talent, it just means I don't care for the genre. Hell one of the best Christian fiction writers out there is Maurice Broadus and while I don't read his stuff I think he's incredibly talented and is absolutely hilarious in person.

But for those who read my stuff and have feedback to give me, I'm always willing to listen and I always appreciate it when I get it. Even if it isn't singing my story's praises :).  

Christmas Madness

To say that I'm excited today is an understatement. Of course I have my coffee on, what would a day without coffee be like? Why it would be like a day without chocolate or a look at Daniel Craig of course. Dark and without purpose. ;) LOL.

Nah today is a good day. I feel the itchy urge to write, I'm interviewing Real Andrews about a cause close to my heart. Folks, I have to tell you as someone who has bipolar disorder you find ways to survive and thrive. There are several schools of thought on this. For me I need my meds and therapy. If I didn't have these things I would lose my stability I work so hard for.

A good way to see if I am stable is to see if I'm writing. And yes I am writing right now. As a matter of fact the story I wrote which inspired me to create a blog and to write a novel is coming along quite nicely. Not to jinx myself of course. LOL

My bipolar disorder is something I wouldn't wish on too many people. Living with the diagnosis is often a difficult time. I am for the most part on an even keel. But there are days that are better than others and given the opportunity I have been to interview Real I am excited.

My fellow authors he's a really cool guy you should check him out. I know you might not normally think, gee mental health, holidays let's jump on it, but Christmas Madness is all about coping. The support would be nice too.

 

As a treat maybe I'll post a little bit of the novel tomorrow. Here's Real....

Tomorrow Live w/Real Andrews

Who knew a simple tweet would result in the opportunity of a lifetime. An absolute squeeing joyful opportunity to help change peoples lives.

As I've mentioned before I love television and film One of my favorite soaps is General Hospital. My favorite actors from that show include the mainstays like Anthony Geary, Jonathan Jackson, Steve Burton, Maurice Benard and Real Andrews.

I have been running a campaign to try and get my favorite actors to come join me next November at the #MuseGalaAwards. When Real responded to me I thought you could have blown me over with a feather. We got to tweeting and I checked out his USTREAM channel http://ustre.am/Fa21 and thought wow, this guy is traveling his own journey with bipolar disorder.

Well, one thing has led to another and I have been granted the chance to interview him live tomorrow at his A Real BiPolar Life Channel about his daily trials and tribulations with the illness. I hope you will join us and learn how we deal with this disease and cope with the holidays. Just follow the link http://ustre.am/Fa21. If you're not awake at 8AM EST checkout the blog later. The video and transcript will be made available then.

Daniel's British GQ Turn

Whenever my favorite actor gives and interview I have to admit, I get like a kid in a candy store. I know there are going to be photos. Most definitely the cover shot and maybe a few inside. Either by the magazine or those provided by the studio as film stills and I think: potential story characters. The interviews are nice, if not revealing  which is the last thing I think Daniel wants. And what got revealed was his disdain for the loss of his privacy and the way some people so easily trade away theirs then ask for it make. Re: the Kardashians.

He had a lot to say including calling them f***ing idiots. What it came down to was this, he thinks that because they're fame w***** and now, in the wake of a botched marriage they want their privacy. He said it doesn't work like that. Which is true. And when you're famous for being famous that's part of the deal.

You get the sense he works really hard to keep his private life private but that wen it comes to his work he'll tell you anything you want to know. I can't stand the Kardashians the television show. But I don't know them and don't pretend to. But I suppose I put my personal life on blast to some degree on this blog. But it's not to get famous. For me it's about having a place to vent and to celebrate. I've always been an open person. Although if you met me in person I'd probably be incredibly shy. The internet allows for a false sense of anonymity that you really can't find anywhere else.

So even though people know a great deal about me thanks to this blog I'd dare say they don't really know me, which is kind of what I love about Daniel Craig so much. By keep his private life private, it allows me to project whatever characters I want onto that ever so yummy shell. LOL

Again I'm much braver on this blog than I'd ever be face to face. For everyone out there writing on this last day NaNoWriMo good luck and congratulations! 

Morning Musings

Yesterday I finished a story that could have probably been published but because I have the patience of a gnat I decided to post it to the internet. But people say you should share short pieces with your fanbase. Of course, that's assuming I have one lol.

So here's the link http://AmysShortTales.blogspot.com. It's the story I was talking about yesterday. I hope you read it and enjoy it and take the time to give me some feedback. Of course, at the same time I'm terrified that you'll hate it.

Of course I have my morning fuel, coffee. And my dreams, meeting Daniel Craig and trying not to be mortified when I tell him just how many of my heroes he's inspired. LOL

Something I should mention, coming up in the next few weeks I am going to have the privilege of hosting Real Andrews in an interview where we'll be talking about Bipolar Disorder, coping with it, more specifically how to cope with it during the holidays. Be on the lookout for it.

Have a good one and happy scribbles!

A Pot Of Coffee & A Hero

It's often I wake up in the morning not sure what the hell it is I'm going to write about for the blog. So what's with this pot of coffee and a hero all about? Well, on the best of mornings I wake up and I have some idea of where I'm going, maybe not a road map but an emotional hook that lets me know of how great things can be if I just get out of the way when my Muse is clicking.

I do best when the emotional hook is dark and intense and I can feel what the characters are feeling. When the world falls away and I'm in the zone it's the greatest experience in the world. The icing on the cake is when the publisher or agent says yes, but the real joy comes in that first flush of creation. You're getting to know the characters and everything around them. Sure there are corrections to be made and rewrites to be done but all of that comes later.

For now you're falling in love and having adventures along with your characters and you don't have to worry about that boring thing called life;) lol. Well, not too boring.

My current story is steeped in a gritty real life tale. It tells the story of Starr Elizabeth and Jack Harris and how they're getting through the night of the execution of the man who brought them together in the first place, her father Stan.

Jack is former FBI Agent and Starr is a singer trying to get by. Here's a picture of Jack Harris:

I know life as we know it just wouldn't be the same without a Daniel Craig hero would it?

Well the coffee seems to be ready. Stay tuned, maybe I'll post a little of SET FIRE TO THE RAIN tomorrow. It's not an erotica piece so it would be more appropriate for general audiences.

Until then, as my friend Elise VanCise would say, happy scribbles.

The Writing Of No Ordinary Love

By the grace of my Higher Power I currently have an e-book released from Muse It Up Publishing. When someone who had read it said it was a good book I got incredibly embarrassed. I couldn't take the compliment. The process of writing for me is a personal one and while I love to do it and I want people to read it I wasn't prepared for someone to actually tell me they had read it.

The process was simple. I saw a trailer for Cowboys & Aliens and I got the idea to write a sci-fi erotica with a half-breed human/alien that looked a whole heck of a lot like Daniel Craig. And while like I said I want people to read it and like it it's almost as if people are taking a look inside my head and soul and that is hard.

When I sat down to write it it was like a story clamoring to get out of my head and onto paper. In some ways I wish I could tell the people who inspired it. But then the content is pretty hot and like I said it would either embarrass me or if they looked down on it would break my heart so exposing myself like that would be a dicey proposition.

I'm still looking for desitheblonde to give them their free copy of No Ordinary Love as the winner of last week's contest.

Quiet Time

When I wake up early in the morning and have the opportunity to listen to Adele that's often when I feel the most calm and connected to everything around me. Some would call it prayer time or otherwise. That's how I find I feel I'm most connected to my Higher Power. I'm not the most fundamentalist girl. As a matter of fact, the fire and brimstone kind of preaching is a real turn off. I've spent most of my life afraid of those around me and there have been situations I wasn't sure I was going to make it out of okay but I believe in a loving Presence that can do great things.

I spent a great deal of my childhood being bullied with no one defending me. And kindness and loyalty are qualities I consider important when seeking out friendships and connections with others. But even though I don't choose to expose myself to fire and brimstone kind of preaching I do believe in the power of God and His infinite love for us.

Christmas is my favorite time of year. Not because of the presents I receive, but because of the presents I get to give. Whether they're emotional or physical I think I'm most appreciative of things that a lot of times you don't think about except for when you're struggling.

I was born with Bi-polar Disorder. And struggling with it isn't something I would wish on anyone. But there are easier days than others and while yesterday was a recovery day. I spent most of my Thanksgiving Day out and my only down time was watching Casino Royale and finally falling asleep while Quantum of Solace was on. (Thank you Syfy network).

Of course now I'm on a James Bond kick. Well, a Daniel Craig James Bond kick. It's hard to get that image of him emerging out of the water like some kind of Greek god out of my head along with that hero willing to do anything for God and Country and save the girl. Very attractive.

Well, that's it for the week if desitheblonde would contact me at amyleigh07@live.com I will arrange for a free copy of my ebook No Ordinary Love to be sent to you :).

FUTURISTIC BUZZ

I keep hearing the song Rumour Has It by Adele and I watched Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace last night and I want to write a James Bond-Mystery thriller romance kind of thing again. So I'm thinking of putting REBEL aside for the moment and letting it sit before I go back and start it over whole scale again with the story now that I've figured out the plot. 

Something about Craig's Bond that gets my bad ass freak flag flying for the guy and the girl. This story is going to be gritty, noirish and set in the future. Maybe mystery maybe suspense.

I should always set out to tell the story and worry about agents and publishers later. I tend to writer long novellas  or short stories these days. Do I have what it takes to write a full length novel?

I often set a goal for myself when writing the story. But my best results come when I'm just having fun. I just hear Adele singing and can see a girl riding her motorbike like a bat of hell. Trying to figure out what the story should be. But first I need a bad ass hero who can take on a bad ass heroine.

She wears jeans her hair is the color of blue koolaid and she has the memory of an elephant. Her eyes are green and she knows how to get the job done.  Or maybe not.

He's a retired CIA agent working as an investigative journalist. Maybe. Maybe not. I want an adventure the reads like a film watches. To ambitious full of myself. That's a good possibility. But nothing feels as good as a new story grabbing you and taking you away for a great ride.

Breaking Bread

Spending this morning smelling the green beans cooking away lets me know that yes it is indeed Thanksgiving and that a delicious, yet long day lays ahead of me. I find my family on days like these makes me yearn for those perfect days of peace and tranquility. But let's get real those pictures of those families for some of us are few and far between and our circle of friends and family that we can trust and love are smaller. That being said I am very grateful for the last year.

This last year I became a published author of fiction for the first time thanks to http://MuseItUpPublishing.com and http://MuseItHotPublishing.com with my books No Ordinary Love and Another Way To Die. For that I would like to give thanks. 

And even though they make me batshit crazy at times I'll give my family a shoutout. Because I'm certainly going to be eating like a mad dog at the meal we all had a hand in preparation of. My friend in the cheesecake, me in the green beans, my Dad(John) in the turkey and cornbread stuffing and everyone else for sure.

To my best friend for her support when I went through my doubts as a writer. Yes I know I got published but  sometimes the doubt can plague you in the best of times. To my other friends you know who you are for your support as well.

To my heroes just for being who they are. I know you all are just human but you represent the dream and that is invaluable.

And finally to those who aren't with us anymore I wish you were here with us because it simply isn't the same without you.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. And when you sit down to break bread try to enjoy the holiday and that it is about progress not perfection. But if you happen to a Roseanne style Thanksgiving remember, you're in the majority after all and that the Turkey will indeed make it all better LOL.

RUMOUR HAS IT

New found faith in REBEL kept me from ditching both stories and I'm telling you a fresh cup of coffee sets you on the right path every time. That, a ripping 'soundtrack' to listen to. For GLADIATOR it was the Gladiator score. For REBEL it's Adele.

Led by the cracking tune 'Rumour Has It'.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SyGEDWOuLs

The song has that badass snap and pop needed for the character of Amelia Walker, a tough as nails rebel with a soft heart in need of healing. For the man with only a first name, Luke and no memory and flashes of memory I thought this song was appropriate.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8TfqJJBSzw&list=PLCEE7A08907CEA9B3&index=1&feature=plpp_video

REBEL might take a little more elbow grease than the GLADIATOR did but I am happy with the arc the story has taken. A little late night writing has kept me going. And the caffeine was wonderful to.

And to think I get to drink coffee with these characters everyday if I choose :). As someone who commented on my blog said, some times life is just so hard :)

So Daniel, here's to you and your work. I'm glad you like the badass role because you make it easy for me to imagine characters which embody those qualities.

And while I'm at it a quick shoutout to my friends Missy, Pam, Elise, and Carla. You all are my rock and I wouldn't be able to get through the day without you on some days.


Happy Thanksgiving to my MUSE family as well and my heroes http://Twitter.com/MauriceBenardMB and http://Twitter.com/realandrews. You all help me get through the day one way or another. I'm not sure I'll post tomorrow or not but if not have lots of turkey and stuffing and cranberry sauce.

Re-Write Nightmare

Here I am sitting down and realizing that three separate stories can be combined into the same one. Having received two form rejections in a week's time I guess it's time to get to a nitty gritty rewrite. I haven't been sure where to take the whole REBEL story and even though this is tantamount to chucking the baby out with the bathwater I have to accept the fact there are three siblings I introduced. The Healer, The Oracle, and the Queen.And in GLADIATOR it was all about sex, sex, sex and the world healing. When I tried to write REBEL I started having problems with the plot and realized, 39 pages in that it's probably part of the GLADIATOR story as is the Queen's tale. So God help me a full scale rewrite of the concept is in order.

I will post excerpts as they go through their many forms. But one thing is for certain. If GLADIATOR in it's final form doesn't get picked up I may consider self-publishing again just because I want to get the story out there. If the houses with my novella right now like what they have I hope they will like the version I have penned this time around.

Two houses down. Four to go.

I haven't been particularly good at finishing a series but hopefully this book reads more like an epic as opposed to a series. Not that series are bad. It's just that I'm not particularly good at writing them. I could say, I give up. I quit. In fact with bad weather coming my way I'm tempted to say just that, rejection is not fun.

But my screenwriting instructor once said, if one person said it you can dismiss it. If two mention it you should probably take a look at it. I think there's something to be said for that and my Christmas shopping list just gave me an idea for the story, rather something I saw at Big Lots in the arts and crafts scrapbooking section did.

Here are the men of my story:

The GLADIATOR:

THE ORACLE:

The women of my story-

THE HEALER-

THE REBEL-

Haven't gotten a picture of the Queen but think Isabelle Adjani. Beautiful woman . Looks fragile but would have to be tough enough to be a power hungry, loveless queen.

LOL just enjoy the pics and when the story comes along I'll share some bits with you.

What I'm Thankful For Today- Rated R Language & Sexual Situations (Rebel Excerpt)

I should start of by saying this chapter is sexually graphic in some areas in both language and situations so if you don't wish to read it then you should probably stop reading now. But that being said it's not all that today's entry is about.

While I had to give some serious thought as to what I was grateful for it was a relatively easy answer. Some people yearn to go back to childhood and fantasize about easier times I know that crap isn't true. While it is easier in some respects, you aren't the one paying for the bills depending on how your parents handle it you can be made acutely aware of  it. Now's no different. I never worried I would go hungry as a kid. At least I thought I didn't. But my battle with my weight now speaks to a whole host of issues.

But I'm complaining. I said I was grateful. But for what? Good friends in adulthood. Especially my best friend Missy Goodman. When there was and is no one she is there with a shoulder to cry on and and easy ear to listen. Whether it's in celebration or decimation she's my sister from another mister.

I'm also grateful for my passion for the arts and the ability to string words together in order to form a tale and be passionate about my stories when no one else might care I give thanks for. (And a special shoutout to my friends Pam and Elise for their friendship.)

To my publishing house Muse and everyone there, you all are the best. And while I wait to hear back on GLADIATOR and work on REBEL you wait to hear with me in a way.

That being said I am most grateful to these people for fueling my creative imagination:

They often serve as the hero and heroine models sometimes with different colored hair in my stories. Sometimes their even the villains instead. Of course I'm most grateful for my sanity and I it to these people for being so open about their own story for that.

Now to top it all off I'm running a contest this week and sharing an excerpt of REBEL. Leave a comment and be in the running for a free copy of my newest release: NO ORDINARY LOVE! And as my friend Elise would say, happy scribbles!

It was night time and like the odd weather the Great Healing was want to do it was making the night more difficult to get through than the day. Blu had managed to find another cave but finding dry wood had proven more difficult. And now, as he worked the bullet from the half delirious rebel the little fire he’d managed to build was barely enough of a heat generator to keep either one of them warm, let alone both of them.

     “There we are,” he said extracting the bloodied bullet. “Nasty little bugger.” He went back in to see if any clothing or other objects had been driven into the wound. “And there we go,” he exhaled pulling out a piece of red cloth with a pair of tweezers.

     He did his best to disinfect the wound and patch it up. The wind howled as it ripped through him and her, putting out the fire completely. He lifted her up and moved her into the cave. In the past he had encountered bats and bears as well as other humans hiding or camping out. Fortunately they were alone this time.

     Her teeth were chattering. And she was pulling at him and murmuring, “No, you can’t go Cain. You can’t go.” She thrashed about, pulling and pushing at him. Starting to cry she was shouting now, “We can’t leave him! I don’t care he’s my husband! Ian! Ian! Ian!”

     Her whole body shook as he tried to calm her down. Her body was scorching hot to the touch. His heart broke for her even though his heart normally broke for no one, not even himself. Finally she stopped fighting and she clung to him murmuring, “I won’t let what happened to him, happen to you. I won’t what happened to him happen to you. I won’t let what happened to him happen to you.”

     He just held onto her. She was lost in her own grief stricken world and reaching her would be pointless. She had went out in search of her husband, a dead man, and in his place, had found him. He almost felt guilty. If only because the feeling of her soft form against his hard one was a welcome sensation.

     He wrapped her tight against him for the warmth but when she relaxed against him he leaned to the wall of the cave and cradled her head gently. She turned and rested her cheek to his chest.

     “I may have watched him take the bullets to his chest but I just wanted to bring him home.”

     What did he say to that? People died all the time in this world, even with climate changing for the better and the Queen in exile. He said nothing and just kissed the top of her head.

     “I was supposed to die. I was primary. But he shoved me out of the way at the last second. I held him you know. I watched all the color drain from his face and…the others in the unit dragged me kicking and screaming back to camp.”

     He bunched her hair at her neck and pressed his lips to her temples. “You have a reckless streak a mile wide. You were willing to die for those men today. I don’t think they felt the same way about you.”

     “It happens. Familiarity breeds contempt. They don’t really support the Healer out here. I’m an anomaly. It’s why they have me in such a leadership role. I represent what they think is coming. They’re hedging they’re bets.”

     “Do you really believe in the Healer and her Gladiator protector?”

     “I don’t know what to believe. I know I was gladiator. Favored by one of the Queen’s outlying lieutenants I fought all the time. I never knew rest until one day the Earth shook, the skies opened and everything was just washed away.”

     “How’d you survive?”

     “Ian found me unconscious and left for dead by the lieutenant and nursed me back to health. From then on it was just us. We were never officially married, but you know we lived it so we were married.”

     “No wonder you still miss him.”

     “I can’t get the final image of him out of my mind. It blocks everything else out.”

     “Do you think had the Healer been there she could have saved him?”

     “There’s always talk of that, but at what point do you say enough is enough? Each time she heals someone or thing it nearly kills her, right? I can’t imagine what her protector would feel if suddenly she were gone.”

     “Do you imagine it less or more than the pain you feel now?”

     “Don’t know. And I wouldn’t care to put that on anybody. It’s cold.”

     He rubbed her arms and back and held her close. He felt the goosebumps rise against his touch.

     “I just miss him. And I thought if I could just bring him home it might fill the hole he left when he died.”

     He said nothing. Holes like that rarely ever got filled. Even he knew that. He stroked her hair.

     “You ever wonder if what else they say about the Healer is true?” he asked.

     “What? That there’s an Oracle out there somewhere that will change the game all over again.”

     He laughed softly, “That’s a crock. There are no such things as oracles, let alone the Oracle.”

     “I said the same thing about the Healer until the day everything turned upside down.”

     “How old are you, Amelia?”

     “Too old for my thirty years. What about you?”

     “Too old for my forty-one.”

     They both chuckled. “Making it back to headquarters is going to be risky, we should probably get some rest.”

     “Moving you now? Too much of a risk.”

     “Blu, what’s your real name?”

     “Honestly, I dunno. I woke up in the middle of the desert one day and it was the only word about myself that I could remember.”

     “I’m going to call you by the name on your tattoo. I happened to see when I was staring at your back.”

     “I don’t have a tattoo on my back.”

     “Yes you do. I have one too. Only when they branded me they branded me with my name, Amelia. I’m going to call you Luke, because Blu is a stupid name conjured up by stupid people.”

     “You calling me stupid?” He asked playfully taking her hand.

     She finally looked up at him with a flame of desire in her eyes. “No, I’m calling you too sexy for a stupid name like Blu.”

     She was shivering against him but her clothes had long since dried. And in the cave they were buffeted from the wind. The only explanation for the look was that she might be going into shock and think he was her deceased husband.

     She took his hand and guided it to her breast and said, “I’m cold.”

     His cock, if not swollen before was stiffening now. And although he was not above using a woman for a purely physical release there was something to this girl that wasn’t with the others. He wasn’t in love with her and she certainly was needy. But from the moment she’d looked down at him she’d proven more powerful than the visions that often overtook him and left him unable to speak or move.

     “Listen…”

     She cut him off. “I don’t want to think. I just want to feel. I just want to forget.”

     At first he hesitated but when she buried her fingers in his hair he lowered his mouth to hers. He slid his tongue through her lips and began to squeeze and stroke her breast.

He drug his mouth down her chin pressed his lips in soft, heated kisses along her neck. She moaned as he slid his hand up her shirt and unclasped her bra.

     Cupping her breast he warmed her skin as he stroked her nipple into a hardened peak. She sank her teeth into his neck and he moaned as she reached between his legs and stroked his cock through his pants. He pinned her to her back and unzipped her pants. Pushing them off her hips he fumbled with his own jeans and kicked them down to his ankles.

     His cock sprang out from a nest of dark, moist curls and she spread her legs. Her scent invaded his nostrils and a yearning filled his chest and beat throughout his whole being. He wanted to be with her, he wanted to heal whatever grief or guilt that resided in her. He wanted to help her feel. He wanted to help her forget and find a reason to want to go on instead of just breathe.

     She touched his face and looked at him with such pain and desire he couldn’t hold back and buried his cock inside her tight, hot, pussy and pushed in to the hilt. A cry broke from her throat and he noticed tears running down her cheeks as they moved together he brushed his lips to hers.

     Her movements were rushed and desperate as she dug her fingertips into his back. He suckled at her breast and she sobbed but he couldn’t tell whether she was in ecstasy or in grief. He released her breast and he placed a brutal kiss to her mouth and she seemed to offer everything but her heart up to him.

     Normally that didn’t bother him. It usually suited him. As he stroked out and pushed inside of her he found he wanted more of her. He wanted to brand her the way she had branded him with his name, Luke.

     He lifted her thigh over his hip and moved inside of her more possessively. Her eyes burned and flickered with erotic desire.

     “That’s right,” she whispered hoarsely, “make me come, make me forget.”

     Her words drove him mad. She crushed her mouth to his and suddenly he was surrounded by visions of a time gone by. He was young and a teenager girl dressed in a diaphanous silver dress was staring at him with such hate it chilled him to the bone. He went soft just as Amelia cried out his name. But it wasn’t in release. It was in terror. In worry. In concern.

     He opened his eyes and found himself staring down at her. Her hands were at his face. He saw genuine fear there. He rolled off of her and redressed himself. He felt like a fool. He’d fucked plenty of women and never had a vision and gone soft in the middle sex. That was often his only respite in this world.

     She dressed and walked over to him and looked down at him. “You went somewhere.”

     “I’m fine.”

     She stooped down and pulled her hair back into a ponytail.

     “You should leave your hair down. It shows just how pretty you are.”

     “Times like these I’m not too concerned with how pretty I am.”

     There was an awkward silence before he said, “Tell me you at least got off a little bit.”

     She laughed, “Would it crush you terribly if I hadn’t?”

     “It wasn’t for lack of wanting it to happen.”

     “Chill. I had the big O,” her features softened, “it was just nice having you inside of me. Made me forget how lonely I’d been since Ian died.”

     He reached out and tugged her into his embrace. It was easy to forget his troubles with her.

     “He was a lucky guy to have someone love him as much as you loved him.”

     “Where’d you go that made you freeze up the way that you did? Something tells me the bedroom is your forte. Not your Achilles heel.”

     He laughed. “Sometimes I wish I wasn’t so transparent.”

     “Well, you were definitely enjoying yourself.”

     “Weren’t you?”

     “The only other person I’d ever been with was Ian.”

     “And I take it he was fantastic.”

     “Not really, but our love was like this enduring, slow kind of love. He wasn’t exactly a passionate kind of guy. Except for when it came to saving the world and man he believed.”

     “Is that why you believe?”

     “It keeps him alive in a way, right? He was the only one who ever gave a damn about me. Nothing more passionate than dying for me right?”

     He didn’t say anything. Anyone could die for you. It was who had your back while you were breathing that showed what kind of character you had.

     “How was your marriage?”

     “He protected me. I believed in him. He never failed me. I miss him. It’s like someone’s ripped a giant hole in my soul.”

     “That’s hard to get over.”

     “I’ve been so busy trying to save the world it’s been easy to keep him alive. But after today I wonder if I’m even doing the right thing.”

     A vision opened up before him. It was of him gazing down into her face. Of her in a veil and gown. They stood before a Court of soldiers making an aisle with their swords. He shook his head and rubbed his eyes.

     “You did it again.”

     “I did what?”

     “You went a million miles away.”

     “I stayed right here with you,” he said. “Now c’mon, let’s get some sleep. We’ll need to be on the move in the morning.”

     She snuggled against him and he cradled her close. Leaning his head back he allowed himself to close his eyes. Amelia was grieving, but being with her was triggering everything about himself he hated dealing with. It wasn’t the first time he’d seen the redhead in his visions. But it was the first time he’d felt the fear of a child looking at a monster. A flaming haired green eyed demon. And he wondered as he drifted off to sleep if she wasn’t just a demon, but one of the keys to his past as well.