The unpredictability of the colour .

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Warning - It's going to be a long entry . It's my year-end post

My Personal Battle

Yes , this picture is from Spiderman 3 . I couldn't find a better picture to depict the personal battle that I faced this year . I've always managed to be victorious in every personal battle but for the first time in my 22 years of life , I succumbed to greater temptations and self-pity . I'm really embarrassed to admit this but I have to .

In this movie , an extraterrestrial symbiote crashes to Earth and bonds with Peter Parker and manages to influence his behaviour for the worse of course . But in my life , there's no extraterrestrial interference but I may have to account for some kind of intervention for the dilemma that I was pushed into . Yes - My A level results . Well , it was almost a guaranteed path for University for me and until now I really don't know howcome I failed my best subject because I've never failed it before and it's my best subject . The shock was too much for me to take and the shock eventually manifested into anger , frustration , pressures , humiliation , tears , pain , heartache and it turned me into a rebel . Yes , I became rebellious . I spent my days smoking , drinking , hanging out without a sense of purpose in my head , skipping school , not going to school for 2 freaking months , I lived like a hermit - just in my own shell . I simply had no end in mind . I was going wasted . This i know . Too many people started to advice me and motivated me to get back on track but I was not prepared to . I felt there was no purpose in life . I was simply trying to waste the day away . I wasn't even studying . I know ! I myself decided to re-take my A levels . Well all I can say here is - my motivation died as I met a myriad of setbacks - people who were supposed to be there wasn't there and they were the ones who broke my heart . I heard too many negative things . One individual even raised a negative comment and now he got kicked out of school . If I wanted , I could've humiliated him but I'm not him . I know the pain .

In short , I was complete a different person . I was mentally and physically weak . I was so lazy that I stopped exercising and only ate and chilled out infront of my computer 24/7 and wasted my days away ( when I wasn't involving myself into those vices ) . A strange dark , mysterious entity somehow tapped onto the negative energy surrounding me and managed to bond with my systems and it caused an uproar of inner turmoil . I was not the strong person that I was . It was supposedly a closed chapter . I was gone with the wind . Just gone ...

Then one day , something told me that I had to put a fullstop to it . Really . I know it sounds so cliche but trust me , something woke me up from the momentary negative-stupor and told me to give it my best shot . But I was really weak . I had to strengthen my body and mind . So I did what have always managed to strengthen me to the max - running . Yes , there were days when I ran like a mad fuck all around my neighbourhood - panting like a dog that simply overworked itself . It wasn't easy but my journey to strengthen myself was one of the most brutal , torturous journey that I've ever been through . There were times when my temper would just go off like that in a jiffy and I would end up punching the walls to vent my frustrations . There were too many days when I went to bed with swollen knuckles and a tear-streaked face hoping for death .

Yes , it wasn't easy for me . But I know running strengthened me - in EVERY ways . I know I didn't give my best shot and everything was last minute work but as the saying goes " finishing strong " . It may not be the best but I know I finished strong . I know I went far far far away from God but I've found the greater strength now and I'm coming back . Thanks for being tolerant with me God .

Now , I really want to take this opportunity to thank EVERYONE who motivated me :- to my bestfriends , close friends , brothers , sisters , ex-close friends , teachers , mentors , actors , wise men , wise women , anonymous friends , long lost friends , my loved ones ... EVERYONE who motivated me in a way or so . Thank you guys , without your support , I am nothing . I really want to thank God , my running shoes , my running route , the people I meet while I run , Bon Jovi and random Youtube videos and a special mention to my teacher - Mr Thomas Tan - without him , adjusting to life would have been a bitter pill to swallow .

FRIENDSHIPS ( the release of the 3 names - for which people were 'eagerly' waiting to read )

1) Dickhead ( I'm sure people will know who you are as the read this entry )

Mr Dickhead and I have been bestfriends for 12 years . It was the most horrible 12 years I ever had . I wish I had invested that amount time on someone else . Well , because of this 12 years , Dickhead backstabbed me 5 times . And just so you know , I am calling you Dickhead because , you seriously lack a dick and your face reminds me of a dick .

Lets travel back and see when were those 5 times . The first time in Sec 4 when I was an arts student . I was a super-laid back student who never did her homework and as a result when the whole of the art class were done with our canvas preparation , I was stuck to complete within that day . So my art teacher gave me the key to the art room and told me to be careful . My friends came to spend time with me till I finished my canvas . Dickhead and 2 others played with the colours in the art room and one of them accidentally splashed the colours onto a friend's canvas . My art teacher got to know and she blasted me like crazy . I was crying by then because she threatened to not submit my artwork for my N levels exam . So I told her the truth . She asked me to bring the 3 of them to her and I told them to come . Dickhead immediately scolded me asking me why I had to GET HIM into trouble - why not the other 2 . I blasted him off saying it's my academia that was in the line and I'm not going to take up the blame . And Dickhead turned everyone against me and the 2 of them were saying they won't come . They told my art teacher secretly that I did it all by myself and I was forcing them to admit the mistake . But thank God my art teacher still sent in my artwork for N levels artwork submission . But she had this biasness against me till I left Swiss Cottage . What did I do after that ? . Dickhead and the 2 of them said sorry to me and I forgive them . Haha . Yes .

The 2nd time was during the O level period . I did very very well for my O level prelims . Dickhead wanted to experience being in the cooler side - well I was mostly in the limelight . I was in the sports team , good runner in Swiss , everyone knew me and I had MANY MANY friends . Dickhead was living in my shadow ( thats what he claimed ) . So Dickhead was trying his level best to be accepted by the other clique which he thought was cooler since you would have more friends . And one of them called Sha actually lied about me to Dickhead . Once upon a time , Dickhead was known as Gay in my school and everyone hated him because they thought he was a sissy . And Sha actually told my tuition friends that there was a gay in his class and he was a sissy and etc etc . I stood up for Dickhead and scolded Sha infront of my tuition friends . I didn't tell Dickhead about it because I didn't want him to feel offended or upset . So Sha actually twisted the story and told Dickhead that I told that to my tuition friends and Dickhead was so against me . He would hurt me in every possible way . When I wasn't in school , he didn't collect my stuff for me . He never called me when we had group study and etc etc . I was so upset because I didn't know what was happening and I was too confused and hurt . Somehow the O levels got over and all . During our Graduation , Dickhead and Co was kinda left alone and then Dickhead came and spoke to me and said sorry . I forgive him instantly because I wanted the 4 of us to be intact . Then right on that day , Sha also apologised . The best thing was , this guy who used to like me was from the same tuition class as me and Sha and he told Dickhead everything and Dickhead felt embarrassed with himself and he promised to be a better person .

The 3rd time is when I told you something about my family and you told someone whom you were not supposed to tell to . Dickhead , do you realise that I know alot about your family's secrets , past and etc ? . I never mentioned it to anyone TILL now . Too much of things and if I were to open my mouth right now , your family will be spitting on your face ! .

One fine day , Dickhead , his cousin - lets name him J and I were out . The previous day , Dickhead was bitching about this friend of mine called Z . I was too confused with whatever he was saying . He told me that he thinks Z is not a virgin , she sleeps around with many people because his cousins told him so . He told me Z is an embarrassment to our clique and etc etc . When we were out , the topic somehow came up and I was talking to Dickhead that we cannot believe Z was like this based on whatever he heard and thought . But Dickhead was too adamant about his beliefs and conclusion . Since I didn't want to speak about the whole issue infront of J , I told him to stop . J not knowing all this decided to backstab ME in particular and told Z . Then J told Dickhead he told Z and Dickhead told me . I got J to call me while Dickhead and I were on the line . Dickhead was tooo petrified about being caught by Z . So he smsed me to do something about it . So I told J to twist the story abit to make it look like neither Dickhead nor I was in the wrong . But unknown to us , Z was secretly on the line . Somehow Z thought I was in the wrong and Dickhead secretly plotted a confrontation . He joined forces with many of them and asked them to confront me .

I suspected that there was going to be a confrontation and so I smsed him . He smsed me back "whatever it is , please admit whatever you have done and all if for the best " . I was quite irritated with his sms . Then when the confrontation started , people were questioning me and I was really confused because whatever I was being accused for was not what I ever said . It was whatever Dickhead had said to me . That's when I realised that Dickhead backstabbed me .
The highlight was , my cousin was accusing me of something really horrible . I was asking her to listen to me because she was going overbroad with her accusations . Because I didn't even say whatever she was accusing me for . That's when I realised that " he twisted the story " . Thank God , 3 important people stood by my side and were there for me . I was really affected by it because it was my Mom's birthday on that day and somehow she got pulled into this matter . My family got pulled into this matter . Dickhead simply saved his ass and made himself look like the one in the right . I was feeling soo fucked up that my mom cried because of me - even though I had no role in it . It was the most fucked up day for me .
This guy called Sri asked me why didn't I punch Dickhead because if Dickhead did the same to Sri , he wouldn't killed him . I had no answer for this . Alot of people younger than Dickhead advised him and told him off that he was in the wrong and Dickhead simply had no answer to tell them back . I was honestly on the extreme verge of slapping Dickhead . That's the day the inner animal in me took me over . I almost reached the limit of my extreme anger . Yes .

What would any sane human being do when their most TRUSTED bestfriend betrays them and backstabs them and creates problems between their family ? Stop talking to him and etc ? . I on the other hand forgave Dickhead because when I went to meet him to ask him why he did that , he held my hands and burst out crying ! . And yes , I forgave him . And he promised me to be a better person . I forgave you and I saved your name but till now , I remind as the black sheep in my family . Things are never that easy . Some things can never be forgotten . You are so happy there having a nice family gathering and etc , what about me ? . I am not as happy as you are now especially when you did the mistake all along dude . And yes , when we had casual talk about this back then , you told me that you asked J " why didn't you at least tell ME that Z was on the line ? I would've been caution " . Selfish or not ? You decide

The 4th time was when I had a huge conflict with one of my friends . Dickhead was called upon . My friend called P told Dickhead what he felt and etc etc . He thought Dickhead will put things in a better way for me and let me understand from his point of view . After that , Dickhead and I met . Dickhead told me that P and S hates me so much , they think that I am an embarrassment to them because of the relationship I had with my ex , that I am an abnormal person and that they lost respect in me and etc . So what would any sane person do at this point in time ? yes , I got angry and I blasted P and S and completely moved away from them . Then another issue took place and I wanted to call P and S and scold them . Before I did , Dickhead told me " Vitz , I need to admit something to you . When you were with your ex , I bitched about you to P and S because they asked me to . I'm sure they are going to bring this up when you speak to them later . Please forgive me and don't trust whatever story they were going to spin about me " . Yes , true enough , P and S told me so much about Dickhead - how he was laughing and mocking me behind my back for the relationship I had with my ex and etc . Alot .... it was very painful to listen to all this and when I asked Dickhead about it , he said "sorry , my situation was such " . And I called him my bestfriend ? . OK nevermind .

The last one was when Dickhead was telling stuff to person M . He told M that he was going to stop this friendship with me because he felt I was treating him like a dog for the past 12 years and etc . Well I hope my readers can see who was treated like a dog here . One thing which Dickhead specialises is in trying to manipulate and convince people that he is in the right . He told M that he was going to India to further his studies and would stop calling me , emailing me and etc . He even told M that he was going to tell me off at the airport when I come to send him off .
M told me that she has something to tell me and since I was not happy with M myself , I was not keen to and I complained to Dickhead . He instantly got petrified and started calling M and warned her not to tell me anything . Dickhead even went far and told me , M would do anything and everything to break us up . And my soulmate G begged me to not sms Dickhead till M spoke to me . I did as that . M told me everything . It was the right time because I was already planning to dump Dickhead in a week to come because I was giving alot of thought to all his backstabbings and I used this "going to India for his studies " as a right opportunity to move away from him .

I planned with M to confront Dickhead and Dickhead kept calling me to know what happened with the talk with M and I lied to him . I arranged for a good day to confront him and when I confronted him with M and A there , he admitted for the first time in his life that " I admit , I never had the guts to admit all this because I am a sissy . Like what you mentioned in your letter Vitz , I am a ball-less fucker " . This was the best moment of my life . Because I didn't accuse him , he admitted ! . Then he MIA-ed . I sent him an email telling him that I was pretty disappointed with him and etc . I also told him , so what is the next step - because Dickhead was very hurt . And guess what Dickhead's reply was :- " I think we should stop this friendship because we are total opposites . And if I were to see you outside , I would still talk to you " . Mr Dickhead , how thick can you get ? . Didn't the tiny winny bit of moral fabric in you force you to admit your mistakes and ask for an apology ? . Well , I'm sorry , if you really had moral fabrics in you , you wouldn't have done this much . And you call yourself a christian ? A staunch one somemore , someone who remembers the whole bible in and out ? . You may have remembered and memorised it but did you understand the whole meaning behind those holy words ?? . If you were to say you do , SHAME ON YOU ASSHOLE and please don't embarrass other christians out there .

Other "beautiful things Dickhead did

1) I threatened him during the 5th confrontation that I was going to tell his parents about his clubbing adventures , smoking , drinking, lying to his parents and all . So what did he do ? - He told his parents that I forced him to do all this . That he was as innocent as a baby and I was the culprit behind everything and of course , his parents believed him . He knew that I would one day tell his parents and so as to save his ass , he framed me up .

2) This was somebody's facebook shoutout ; "My favourite quotation: " I can't sit on my butt and watch my sista being bullied"... This is a famous quote by an oli oli artiste which brings back satirical memories..beauty world beauty world oh my Beauty world!!! " . Person S wrote this in his facebook . I can clearly understand and relate to this . I respect and salute him for writing this in his facebook because he knows what a cheap fucker Dickhead was .

Dickhead treated person K as his sister and her family and his family knows that they treat each other like siblings . Yes and one fine day he told me , G and M that K has slept with her bf and he did alot of dirty stuff together and that K's bf himself told Dickhead about it . My question here is , which cheapo would sabotage and lie about his sister ? . Well he actually told me something very ugly about his own biological sister and at that point in time I was too shocked that he could actually bitch to me and tell me something that vital about his own sister to me . Since he did it to his own biological sister then perhaps , relationships doesn't matter . He would do anything to save his own ass I suppose ? . Oh yes , and you cheaply told me that you harboured feelings for K's sister S . And the best thing was , you called S a sister too . And you told me that you believe S had feelings for you too but then she was afraid of K . What a cheap guy you are !

3) Dickhead was super jealous of P and S . Actually more of S - because he felt that S was handsome , cool and etc . There was once he told me and another friend of mine that if he manages to lose his weight and spike up his hair , he would look alot more handsome than S . My friend and I burst out laughing . I mean I couldn't believe Dickhead actually said that !! I got no comments with this part ! haha :P

4) Dickhead went around telling us that P and S were gays . And apparently they invited Dickhead to sleep over with them and it seemed that P and S would hug each other and sleep . Dickhead told us that he felt so disgusted when he heard it because according to him , guys don't hug and he never saw them as guys . So what were you Dickhead ? At least they don't backstab each other unlike you - who swear about everyone and say you're a macho guy ? ( oops , you admitted you were a sissy right - sorry I forgot )

5) When once I stormed off from Tekka due to some irritation , you bitched about me to all my friends saying that I am always like this - things must turn out my way if not I won't storm off and all . You made everyone there believe that you had to put up with my attitude problem and sir , who called me the very day itself ? . YOU CALLED ME instantly and you mentioned that M was bitching about me to G ! How could you !

6) Once you told me that G was never loyal to me and that G can never be a 2nd bestfriend to me and that no one would take your place and etc . You even told me that the main reason why M hates me is because she's jealous that I am super close to G and that M herself told you this . And you forced me to make sure G speak up for me during the issue with M and L . I had you on the line when I spoke to G . I told whatever you asked me to to G and while I was doing this , you secretly smsed G and said " G, I understand your feelings . Vitz is like that , please don't get angry or something like that and you mentioned that you are in the same shoes as her ! Why the hell is your problem you bloody ball-less fucker ?! . Are you like trying to break us apart ? And trust me , you can NEVER EVER DREAM about comparing yourself to G . G is million times better than you are . I don't compare Temple to overflowed drains . So please know where you stand and think about it . For your kind information , G's at a place where you never had been able to come to .

7) You yourself told me that P was interested in you and that you think she was trying to make you into her sex slave . I was telling you that P and you are opposites but you told me that she was interested in you and so , whats the big deal . I said ok , if you want to , go ahead and date her and if things work out then go a step higher . And you yourself told me that even if P agrees to have pre-marital sex with you , you would take the opportunity . Don't you dare deny it . And then a few weeks later , you told me you don't want to pursue after P because she wouldn't be the type of girl your mom would want .

8) You yourself allowed me to take a photograph of your bald head . I asked you many times and you said it was ok . I took and I blogged about it . Then eventually Jalra read it and told your other half and you complained that Jalra was too nosy and you asked me to remove that picture . I did as you told me to and the best thing was , your mom blamed me for it and she was pissed off with me and you didn't even pacify her telling that you asked me to put it . You simply allowed me to be framed for something that you did .

9) You bitched about L , M and G so viciously . You managed to put some venomous thoughts into me and made me hate M . You told me that M is a malicious character who wanted to break you and me up and also pull G away from me and I believed you . And during the confrontation , you told me so much of things that you wanted to tell M off and eventually you kept quiet saying " i don't know how to start " and you smsed me to ask me to say your arguments then too . Of course , according to them , I said it all . You were too innocent .

10) Trust me dude , you did so much of uncountable bad stuff to me that I can't even organise them and blog about it here . First you broke me apart from my khaki from Swiss , then you broke me away from the potential boyfriends ( S , I , T, are the classic examples of it ) , you injected bad thoughts about me to all my friends so as to break them away from you and you told me that they hated me , told me bad stuff about your own blood and cousins and made me think badly about them and etc . In my opinion , you are a real embarrassment to me . A big and major one . Please don't ever brag that you memorise the whole bible because seriously that will bring about humiliation to the community of Christians worldwide . People may stick by your ground now but I am least bothered - why - because I already know what you told me about them . If you can backstab your biological sister , god sister and a bestfriend of 12 years , I know damn well that you can backstab anyone else , so maybe I should sit down and watch the entire drama that unfolds before myself . But don't worry , karma's a bad bitch . It will show you the pain soon .

And to everyone who has been threatening me with regards to this , like I have always said , come on . The most that you can do is to threaten and even beat me up . It might temporarily shut me up but the matter won't rest there then . I know too many things and everything very well , and it wouldn't take me long to bring this matter to greater extent . And if you think you need to be there by your ball-less brother or friend's side then don't worry , I have sincere people on my side too . Though I don't want to use them for my selfish purpose , they are more than willing . And dearest Dickhead , you yourself have brought upon a huge embarrassment to yourself . Frankly, the instant you return and you see any of us accidentally , I think the embarrassment that you are going to receive is unimaginable . Think you can smile at me the next time you see me out ? ... think again .

And Dickhead - Well , as I mentioned , you are totally gone with my life now . I'm sooo happy to start 2010 without you . I am not going to keep this memories with me and I'm choosing the burn them away because you don't deserve it , you stupid gay . And yes , this is my blog and NO BODY - even your own brother or anyone have the right to ask me to not blog about you . And remember , I still haven't use your name yet . I can actually put your picture up and put your name and address but then again , I don't possess cheap cells in me . Goodbye corpse !

2) M

Anyways, just to reiterate this , I am not blogging here for attention or to create trouble like how some people perceive it to be or to bother anybody's life. My reason is plain simple :- once, I came across something - someone blamed themselves for ruining the bond of the clique and than it made me think. Well, honestly, I've never believed in going around , spinning stories about the whole thing that happened or so. So people might be confused as to why the whole thing crumpled. So lets just be frank here and analyse the whole situation from the start .

Firstly your hatred with me started off from the ECP overnight . You told G that I didn't understand L and pestered him to study . But of course it wasn't a serious issue then . Then one day I told you that I didn't like you taking the tricks I played on G seriously . And from then on , this issue between us have been accumulating . Suddenly I heard from L that you had this prejudice against me where by you think I am too dominating and etc . Then you apparently told L that you were not comfortable with me because of your hatred towards me . And then I asked L how should I make this matter end and L told me " please don't approach or settle scores with M , if you have anything against her , please tell me and I'll tell her , you please don't tell her " . And this idea of having a mediator was the biggest reason why everything tumbled down .

You claimed that you felt uncomfortable to be around me and so because of that L decided to accommodate to your needs by not calling me whenever OUR friends went out . Infact , they can be meeting just a stone's throw away from my school or home and they would conveniently "forget" to call me . Well , that was THE FIRST ATTEMPT at breaking the clique up which was undertaken by them . M generally loves to assume things and act according to it . Her assumptions aggravated her hatred on me and it seems that it's impossible for her to change her mindset . In short , if she is against me , she will always hate me forever . Well , I didn't say it - her own friends told me " I'm sorry , M is too stubborn . She have NO REASONS to hate you but she hates you and it's very difficult to change her mindset . We're trying to change her mindset , but please wait " . Honestly , if you hate me , what the hell am I supposed to do ? . I'm not your fucking dog to crave for your attention and to make sure you start loving me ! I definitely don't think it's fair for you and L to break up the clique for some baseless hatred ! . L , you recently claimed that : " M doesn't keep anything in her heart ". But are you REALLY sure of it ? . Then what was all this ?.

M , you have always tried to hear my thoughts out . But I realised that whenever I told you , you always add your own masala and tell the things in another way so as to induce some sort of hatred in them . I realised it the instant the thought that I told you got twisted when it travelled to the other party .

Seriously , you and I have no issues at all . But your own baseless hatred made things alot more horrible than they should ever be . You assume and assume and assume and than you easily put the blame onto others . You have never once took the blame onto yourself - maybe only for Dickhead . Honestly , I got nothing to do anymore with you . Believe me , it's not you who have chosen to move away from me - I CHOSE to move away from you forever because of one thing that happened between us . Yes . There was this issue with some people and L and I had to be involved due to some reasons and at that juncture you told him " don't trust Vitz " . N told me about this and I confronted you with regards to it . You simply shrugged off and mentioned " Oh I don't trust you because P asked me not to trust you " . Honestly , what the hell is this ? . Do I really look like your dog ? Do I have to like beg for you to like me and trust me ? . Seriously , EVERY relationship is formed on the basis of TRUST . Without trust , nothing can function well . Trust is something like salt . You cannot eat food with salt . Being friends with someone who doesn't trust you is like eating food without salt and I'm sorry I HATE to eat food without salt . And frankly , if you don't want to trust me , have the guts from within to tell me straight that you don't wish to trust me - please don't put the blame onto others . Learn how to accept blames when you're in the wrong . Don't constantly push the blame onto others ! .

And matters between you and me is completely over . I don't wish to settle ANY scores with you because it's pointless . You would once again start the whole thing with your assumptions or hatred . And since you don't trust me , there's no point in having any friendship . I'm choosing to forget the fact that I ever once treated you as a sister . Everything between us can never be worked out at all . So I am closing this chapter in 2009 . And thanks for celebrating my birthday , being there for me when I was down , giving me the support when I needed it most and everything . Thanks alot and wish you success in the coming year .

I am frankly blogging about you for 1 sole reason - it's not to settle MY scores but it's to avenge for the treatment you and L gave to G - my soulmate . Many of the people around are thinking that G had always been the most unfair friend/sister anyone can have known . Because according to them , G ignores you , she doesn't care about you and so on . Perhaps , since the year is ending , lets settle this for once and for all . G is such a gem of a person that she will NEVER EVER open her mouth to screw you for whatever you and L did for her . If L can stand by you when you did so much , I don't think there's anything wrong in me standing up for my soulmate . And please don't go around thinking that G asked me to blog .. G doesn't even know that I am going to blog about her issue here . G knew that I was fuming whenever you and L did something to her and the only outlet where she vents her frustration is on her private blog . And she barred me from her private blog because unlike YOU , she doesn't crave for attention . Remember once again - I am not doing to create an issue but to END the issue in style - the no holds barred style because it's not fair for someone who didn't do anything to go through shitloads of bullshit .

Things I want to know and things I want to ask and let both of you'll know

1) Why was G deleted of M's facebook account ? -- Is it because you presumed that G had a hand in my blog entry ? Or was it because you believed G was the anonymous tagger Or is it because you wanted to end things off with G ? . Tell me why was G deleted off without any reason ?

2) Yesterday L sent G a facebook message through someone else's account and he mentioned this - "1stly, M still loves u alot n it will to b til her last breath.......u may nt agree or believe............bt i swear on god tat its true..........it was nt her who deleted u from fb bt was me..........." . ---- Since you admitted that you deleted her off facebook , why did you choose to do it ? Is there any valid reason ?

3) In your message you mentioned this - " bt if u mite miss M, which i dun tink so.............bt it u do..............u can contact her....________ or mail her " --- My question here is , who the HELL are you to comment on their relationship ? . Your stupid idea of acting as a mediator broke down their relationship . Because you can never have a mediator in between to convey one's love , and if you do that , it looks cheap . You spoilt the beauty of their love for each other . Seriously , you think G wouldn't be hurt when she reads all this which were sent by you ?? You told her off saying that " G's love for M is fake " , that G "never truly treated M like a sister " . Seriously , you can use such words as much as you want and you expect people to NOT be hurt ? . If you want to know the truth - let me be frank . You ruined their relationship . Each time you mocked G's love for M , that bond between them got a beating and because of that , G wondered if M even had a say in this . If such a thought creeps up to someone , do you think they can sustain 100% of love for that person ? . MOST HUMAN BEINGS will give up but G never did . Despite you hurting her so much , she stood by her love for M . She still does ! .

4) When G asked you to convey her regards to M , you gave a laughter on MSN and soon after , you changed your display message to " what the point of showing that your loving when we know its fake " . -- My question is , who are you to comment on their relationship . It's a bond between the 2 of them and you have to simply interfere ? Why ? . Would you like it if I comment on your's and M's relationship ? . I don't have the rights too . Why ? Because only you 2 know what you guys go through . Hence it's not right of me to comment on it . Likewise , you should know your role and then act accordingly . I understand you mean alot to M but that doesn't give you any rights to comment on their relationship . If you wanted to , placing comments on M's relationship TOWARDS G is fair but you have no no no no RIGHTS to comment on G's relationship towards M ! You're nobody to her . L and M , did you guys get angry when K commented on your relationship ? This is the same here ! . I HATE you for making G go through shit like this . Whenever M cries , EVERYONE gets to know about it - because M herself open up her heart to others or you yourself tell people . Do you think G ever did it ? . She NEVER TOLD anyone , other than me and asked me to promise her to never confront any of you'll with regards to this issue . Why ? Because , she NEVER craves for attention and prefers to LOCK up her feelings within her poor heart ! But how much can a mere 21 year old who already faces problems from all directions endure ? . Please la , spare a thought for her !

5) Once when I was having a huge war with M , L and A , somehow L , you displayed personal messages on your MSN for all to read and to react . I was reacting to whatever you placed there . But what did G do to you ? How did she even get involved ? . When G and M spoke things about , G asked M why L and A behaved coldly towards G . I remember L saying something like " she cares alot for her but she doesn't deserve the unconditional love " . Do you know what M replied ? . M said " she didn't even ask A and L to behave coldly towards G or even ask L to put such comments with regards to G . But the both of them decided to do it and did not listen to M . And M also told G that A and L were not keen for M and G to speak to each other and that M was trying her best to convince them that G still loves her . -- My question here is , when M and G were fine , why did you guys aggravated the problem ? . Was it your own war against G or did you plan to separate G and M ?

6) M , you publicly let everyone know that you miss G by putting that as your facebook status . But why didn't you take the initiative to sms her , call her or email her ? . Because during that period , since you didn't come for G's 21st , you disappeared and suddenly out of the blue , you wrote like that . Honestly what would people think ? . They would think that G deliberately didn't call you and etc . Why do you have to put G in the bad light and make yourself look good ? Remember , if your LOVE for her is really true , you shouldn't give a damn about other people and you should by right call her up and scold her for not calling you and etc . You would instantly say " oh , I was afraid to call " . But what can G do for your own fear ? . You disappeared and she gets to be blamed when you miss her ? "

7) Mr L , you spoke to G on msn and told her that M misses her so much and you begged G to call M . I understand your undying love for M . But why must you put it in a way that shows that G was the one who ignored M ? .

8) This is something that I really want to know . M sent G an sms that read " I really miss G sooooo much and I don't know why she's ignoring me " . G got confused because , M was talking about G , so that meant the message was for someone else ?! . True enough , L sent the SAME message to G . And L kept sending soo many messages to G . L's intention at that point in time was to make sure G gets convinced to speak to M . --- but my question is , did the both of you'll PLANNED to forward M's messages to G to show G that M really misses G ? . If that was your plan , trust me , it's very very very cheap ! . Lets say M accidentally sent the message to G instead of sending it to L , then why did M told G " I didn't even know L sent you the messages ! " when G asked M about it ? .

9) L , you forwarded the messages throughout the night , the latest being about 430am or so . Do you know the repercussion of your actions ? . G overslept and didn't go to work . G's phone is always on general mode and she put alarm to go to work and each time you forwarded the sms to her , she woke up . She didn't sleep and only fall asleep after your last message , so she overslept . She missed going to work and missed a few bucks . ---- my question is , are you going to pay her back ? See what I meant when I say that you guys really tormented her ?! But did she even confront you or M with regards to this or even tell others about it to attract sympathy ? . Now this is where G stands .

10) L , you kept mocking G's love for her siblings - for M and even you . Once upon a time , you treated G like a sister . You have always managed to mock her love but are you aware of what she has done for you ? . Listen up ! During the June holidays , she realised that you and M were spending too much of time hanging out with your friends . And G asked M " hey , L got study or not , because he's spending too much time outside " . Do you know what M replied ? . M said " I don't know la . I don't study with him la . He studies with GO . Are you even aware that G was fucking pissed with M for the irresponsible reply that she gave ? . --- My question is , in your pursuit to ensure you cater to M's needs , you forgot to care about other people's feelings too . Honestly , why the hell must G even bother whether you got study or not ? . Why the hell must she bother ? . The answer is simple - she DID treated you like a brother but sadly , I feel she treated the WRONG person as a brother . If she had showered the same kind of love on someone else , she would have been appreciated . You definitely didn't appreciate but instead , you MOCKED and INSULTED her love for you and M !

11) M , I really really HATE you for hurting G's feelings during her 21st birthday celebration . You did come for the one we held at a place . But you didn't come for the big celebration . G realised that you didn't come and she told me . She was upset . I told her it was ok , at least the others were there to grace the occasion . And then G asked you why you didn't come and you gave the most sadistic reply " I am sorry , A and I went to send off L to camp and by that time , it was time for A to break his fast and so I accompanied him to break his fast " . --- by question is , HOW do you think G felt when she saw this message ? ! I swear , she cried ! SHE CRIED BECAUSE OF YOU . I was really pissed off with you . I was about to call and screw you up and G barred me from reacting . Why didn't you say some other reason ? . A was invited for G's 21st too and are you trying to say that G wouldn't allow A to eat at her party ? . Seriously , do you any idea how hurting that is ? . And the make matters worst , when I chatted with A randomly , A himself said sorry for not coming and he said he went to JB . I told G about it . Then G asked you about it and you said " A was lying and that you thought that you wouldn't be important in G's 21st " . Seriously , can't you say some other less hurting reasons ?? Why must you hurt G's feelings like this ? What did G do to you ? . If you HAD REALLY LOVED G , trust me , you WOULD BE THE FIRST ONE TO BE THERE ! Please M , don't let your words SPEAK LOUDER than your action ! . If you really love G as much as she love you , PROVE IT . Don't give lengths of cinema dialogues .

12) This incident happened when we celebrated a dear one's birthday at Pizza Hut . When N was singing , L was caught laughing . GK , G and I caught you laughing . Why did you do this ? . What do you think would have happened if N saw you laughing at him ? . Do you think you are the only one who can sing ? . C'mon man , if you were the old L , I bet for sure that you would bring him to one corner and tell him his weakness and strength . The L i knew NEVER laughed at people's singing ability . I definitely expected professionalism from you because of your exposure to more avenues of singing but you had to behave so cheaply on that day ? . Would you like it if people laughed at you ? . When your enemies looked down and laughed at you , you felt the pinch , didn't you ? . You the pain well , then why did you do this to N ? Is it because of the fact that he is supposedly on my side ? . Excuse me L , the only thing N ever did was to tell me that M said "don't trust Vitz " to you . For that , you labelled N a cheater , a betrayer ! . And you even spoke to N on the phone and asked him to pretend that he was talking about some singing stuff and asked him to smile and pretend - because I was around - and you were scolding N asking him not to open his gap and mess things up between M and me . Honestly , you tagged my tagboard and said " you guys are 20+ and please act your age " . Do you really want N to act his age ? . If he had scolded and blasted you at that point in time , where would you have put your face ? . Firstly , the L i used to know respected people's age even though he doesn't like them . This is not you . If you insist I have changed , then I encourage you to reflect upon your current behaviour .

13) At pizza hut , G was sitting beside B . And G felt that B's attitude changed when her ex was there . And G told me but I asked her to keep an eye and ensure B was alright . Then when we got back home , G told me that B was very affected to see her ex there and her attitude changed the instant her ex came there . I asked G to keep this to herself . But G decided to ask M about it . G asked M " hey didn't you know that B was affected by her ex , then why did you invite him " and for that M's reply was " huh why must she be affected ? . I myself am not affected what . My ex was also there infront of me and I am not affected and i am fine with it . She must also be like that what " . Honestly M , this is the perfect example to show you your selfish nature . Touch your heart and say that you went through at least half of what B went through . You cannot do it right ? . Only B knows what she went through . You have never experienced it . WHatever you experienced was not even close to it ! . So please don't ever compare yourself to B and expect B to react like you . Learn how to be selfless .

14) Once upon a time , all of us were supposed to go for GO's swimming competition and GK , N and I missed it because we only returned home in the early mornings . We were out and so we overslept . G couldn't come because she was stuck at home with things her mom asked her to do . And we missed it . We settled this issue at the kopitiam at Tekka itself . We settled the issue . And L actually spoke to G on msn and QUESTIONED her why she didn't come and G was irritated because she already told us why she didn't come and wasn't bothered to answer you and so gave a laid-back reply and for that MR L , you actually said " Nah , it doesn't matter , ALL THE IMPORTANT people were present . So it's ok " . My question is , whats the intention of your sentence ? . Are we labelled as the UN-IMPORTANT people ? . Who the hell are you to say this ? . This is YOUR SECOND ATTEMPT at breaking the clique up by separating them into "important and Un-important people " . The important people consisted of people YOU AND M loved and the UN-important people consisted of people who were supporting me .

15) Let me tell this to you clearly L and M - I didn't ask anyone to support me . N decided to let me know because he RESPECTS me like no body's business . G supports me because she knows that I had nothing to do in the M and Vitz issue . GK is close to me because we used to met through a program and he has shared alot of things with me and so we have this bond . And because of this , you ostracised them . They were treated like an outcast . A classic example is , during M's birthday on 30th of August , you guys had some plan and ONLY G was invited . But one of my "supporter" GK actually took the initiative to call L and smsed and called A to ask what was the plan and you guys didn't even tell me anything . Do you know what GK did ? . He called me and he was fucking pissed . He thought that L and A didn't bother doing anything for M and he was not happy about it . But when I told him that you guys had your own plan , he's heart broke . What did he do for not being invited ? Is it because of the fact that he's on my side ? . NOW THIS IS HOW WE BROKE UP WHEN WE USED TO BE A HAPPY CLIQUE . This is the problem with you people , when an issue with me , G , L and M comes up , everyone have to be involved and people will have to be separated .

M insisted that she missed G and L - you tried to make G call M . But what would you do if you know I , N , GK miss you and others ? . You don't do anything . Because according to you , only M's feelings are to be respected and other people's feelings are to be mocked at . Yes , this problem even travelled to T . I don't FULLY blame you for whatever T met with . YOU , M , I , G , A and N are to be blamed . Because you ( L ) started this problem by displaying personal messages and I reacted by replying and sooner , everyone of us got involved in it and there was absolutely NO PEACE IN T . I don't want history to repeat itself again . Because I respect the ARTS and I don't want problems like this to harm it and I know that many people see T as an outlet to let out their frustrations and worries . So in order to be fair to them , we have to all work together . You cannot expect me to possess a metal heart and act as though I am not affected whenever you posted lame stuff . I was affected . But my mistake was to react then and the whole thing never ended .

Hence , at this juncture , I want to seek forgiveness from Nataraja and T for bringing my emotions into T . I also pray that each individual will act maturely and bring glory to T and stop bringing problems into T .

And M and L , my words here may be harsh . But I swear , I have no intention to pick a fight with you or so . I'm doing this without G's knowledge because as much as you - L love M , I love G alot alot alot . I HATE seeing her cry and I don't want people to think badly about G especially when she's not in the wrong . People only know your side of the story and I know that they believe in you'll only . But people can think of me wrongly but not of G . G is a gem and I don't want people to think badly about her . And L , I don't use my words as a weapon . In case you didn't realise , YOUR words have hurt alot of people . You don't realise the pain you inject onto others but trust me , alot of innocent people's feelings have been hurt in this process . I don't want that to happen again . And please stop all this hatred on N , GK and G . I don't care if you want to harbour hatred on me . But don't show hatred on them because they are on my side . It's not fair for them . And I don't have hatred on M like how you perceive it to be . Its a closed chapter . I only HATE her for whatever she has done to G . That's it . And yes L , before I forget . I know G sent you a very angry reply to the message you sent her . You cannot blame her because your words and you pushed her to her limits . I hope you take time to realise the damage that you have caused G and if you think saying sorry it the alternative , then please do . Thank you . And I wish you a great and successful year ahead . God bless the both of you'll .

3) W

>
I want to call this person W . W and I used to be close long time back . But due to his relationship with an individual , he drifted away from me . But he actually said that I treated him like a dog and etc . I'm sure I didn't . If he were to reflect well , he would know who was treated like a dog . And W , I am ashamed to have called you a brother then because I cannot believe you bitched about me so much to M . Thanks alot man ! . I don't want to have any personal relationship with you . This is it .

Appreciation of talents

This year I managed to delve deeper into the appreciation of talents . I am going to talk primarily of the Arts . 2 outstanding individuals have really outshone and made a mark in my heart and I'm so thankful that I belong to the era where I can still see, hear and watch them perform . The 2 outstanding individuals are KS Chitra Madam and Surya Sivakumar . Their talent , humility , dedication , commitment and hardwork really moulded me into a better person . Really !!

KS CHITRA MADAM

Anjali Anjali duet by SPB and Chitra Madam

Uyire Unplugged by Hariharan and Chitra Madam

Did you check out the way , the dedication , passion , commitment by Chitra madam ? . Her talent is unimaginable ! Awesome talent she has got and it's definitely god-gifted ! And the best thing about her is , she's such a down-to-earth person ! I respect Chitra madam for this ! OMG !

Surya receiving Best Actor from the Phenomenal Actor - Kamalhassan

Surya and Karthik's speech at Fefsi

Did you check out the Father's pride on his face when Dr Kamal praised Surya ! Honestly , I am soo impressed with Surya's hardwork , dedication , committment and acting skills . I love Varnam Aayiram . It's my most favourite movie to date . I loved his acting , his hardwork and all . Frankly , when I watch it , it makes me tear ! He's the man !

These 2 individuals have really left a lasting impression on my mind and they are my role models to attain success in the field of Arts . I so admire them , hats off to you'll !

If you look closely at the videos , you will see an ultra talented HUMBLE individuals . The keyword here is being HUMBLE . Many people will have a range of talents but they lack the humility . In my opinion , there are only a handful of talented people in Singapore as compared to India . Yes , it may look like a biased opinion but I'm being frank . I don't think we have an opportunity to branch out and enhance our talent here - not at least as much as they have in India . But I'm really happy to say that we have our own talented people here who would really be in the standards to compete against our Indian counterparts . Well , the million dollar question is - How did they managed to enhance their talent to that level ? . The answer is HARDWORK + HUMILITY .

But very sadly , 3/4 of the talented people tend to succumb to arrogance and pride . You should have an air of cockiness in you - you must admit you are the best and keep up to that level but you shouldn't cross the limit and exhibit your arrogance and likewise , you should take pride in your work but never brag about your talent . Remember MUSIC and SINGING was a gift that was bestowed upon you by the Goddess Saraswathy and DANCE was a gift bestowed upon you by Lord Nataraja . Remember , everyone has a gift from God . God chooses some people to give the ultra talent and this people are generally the ones who will exhibit the zenith of their talents and attain success at a greater level and they don't stop at it ! Infact , they do service to mankind ! For instance , Kamalhassan is a man who has ultra talent in him . I don't have to brag about his talent as it's known to all . Did he let his arrogance to step in ? If he did that , he wouldn't have been where he is today . And because of him , we people have a mentor and a role model to take after in terms of his talent . He serves as a great role model to all aspiring actors and actoresses . Take Michael Jackson - he STILL lives on . Many people do dance but do we remember them all ? Its essential for one to understand that beneath talent , hardwork , dedication , passion and commitment , you need something called HUMILITY . A person who don't know how to use his talent to serve mankind but rather uses it to BRAG about himself is comparable to dust . It's only within a fraction of a second of when you would vanish into the thin air .

At this juncture , I would want to extend my sincere gratitude to Lord Nataraja for giving me the gift of dancing . I know I am not as good as you but whenever I see your statue , I really feel the vibes in me to dance dance and dance . I really want to come up to your level and I hope you will be there at each and every small step that I take in my journey to be a good dancer !

Lord Nataraja ! I took this picture at the Geylang Shivan Temple while we were waiting for Lavan's mom's prayers . This picture has alot of significance . Let me explain it better .

1) First , it is seen as the image of his rhythmic play which is the source of all movement within the universe . This is represented by the circular or elliptical frame surrounding the Lord .

2) Next , the purpose of his dance is to release the souls of all men from the snare of illusion .

3) Finally , the place of the dance , Chidambaram , which is portrayed as the center of the universe , is actually within the heart . ( source - google )

Important occurrence

Alot of people in Transitionz got attached and I'm going to take this opportunity to convey my best wishes to all . It would not have happened without Transitionz . Continue to love and spread that love . And lets pray to those who are not attached yet to find their other halves soon .

11th August 2009 @ 6.30 am - This was the day and time I got together with Kabi . Haha , well I was spending the early morning of 11th August ( from 2.30am-8.30am ) with Kabi at a Mcdonalds due to some problem at home - my dad and I had a serious tiff and I stormed out of the house . I'm glad we got together but no road is an easy road . We had our fair share of problems and all . But the most important thing is , we both love each other alot and we cannot imagine being away from each other . We both bring out the best in each other and I know we do complement each other very well . And of course , some anonymous idiots were spamming my tagboard asking me if Kabi knows about my ex and etc etc . So , let me reiterate this - This is my present and I'm moving forward into the future with Kabi . My past is long forgotten . Kabi knows everything and we're happy to be together . This is the only thing that I am concerned about . I hope everything is crystal clear now . Thank you .

2nd September 2009 - this was another important day in my life . I don't wish to elaborate about this because only my closed ones know what happened on that day . If I haven't tell any of my closed ones yet , please ask me personally :) .

Sad occurrence

1) One of the most depressing moments was when the King of Pop - Michael Jackson died . It was the gloomiest days of 2009 . It was the biggest shocker ever for me . I never thought the Legend would pass away so soon . We were all waiting for his "This is it " .. but it never happened . MJ definitely lives on ! He's the Godfather for all aspiring dancers , musicians , singers and etc . MJ , they never let you live in peace when you were alive and I hope you found your peace there amongst our heavenly father . Rest in peace MJ ! I love you !!

saddest video of 2009

2) My mom's bestfriend passed away this year . I was in complete shock because she just had a fall and she slipped into a coma and died . That aunty was never like a third party to us . We were part of her family and vice versa and it was hard for me to see her lying in the coffin . She really did alot of good things to us and at that moment , all I could say was "thanks for everything and that I will miss her alot " .

3) My friend A's mom passed away in the month of October . It was a few days before Deepavali . She complained that she was having chest pain and she went to rest and she got heart attack in her sleep and she passed away . The worst thing was , A was in jail . He was only allowed to come for the funeral at a certain time . I was sitting there , watching the corpse and alot of thoughts came to my mind . I was feeling so upset when another friend of mine - N mentioned that A's mom cried alot when A was sent to prison and he was about to be release in December . The mom never saw him , hugged him or etc before she died . She definitely wouldn't have died a happy person . That thought alone killed me . I slipped into a mini depression .

4) The next day after A's mom's funeral , Shaik told me that his uncle passed away . I just saw the uncle a few days ago when I went to Shaik's grandma's house for Hari Raya . I couldn't believe that the man who spoke to me died . The 2 funerals which happened day after another simply affected me . I was very very affected . I broke down when I was with Kabi and Shaik . Shaik was already damn depressed and watching me cry made him even more depressed . I don't know what to say - But you must really value everyone around you . Life is unpredictable !

You got coloured @
1:01 am
[c]d4rkang3l

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

It's going to real soon for the great 2010 to kick in and I'm really excited for this new year to set in . Really . I'll explain more in the 'Year-end" entry of mine . I'm already preparing it and I need to add some final touches to it before I publish it and yes - I know that many eyes are waiting to read them . Don't worry , I won't fail you .

Anyways , today was awesome . Somehow the eye of extreme awareness was opened and I learnt alot and took in alot . I'm glad I managed to learn something at the end of the day . Thank you God .

Ok . I went to SGH to have my nail pulled out . The doctor was so hesitant to pulled it out because he said that the new nail will be ugly and the growth might not be good . So he asked me to take antibiotics and stop running till my toe recovers and I'm not supposed to wear shoes or closed-pumps or heels and etc . And if my toe doesn't recover , I'll have to go and pull it out . Oh man !

this is how horrible it became

this is one of the gifts I got on Boxing day from Gaya and I decided to plant it in the flowerpot and watch it grow !

Nice right ?

And I accompanied madam to the temple for her ritual lime-light prayer thingy

Smile la !

hmmm , she's peeling the stuff out of the lime

take 1

take 2 - nice deco right ?

take 3 - WOW

putting the ghee into the limes

yes

finally !

I think he looks tough and macho

nice right ?

Yes , since i went to the temple , I prayed . I know I don't pray in a temple and all but sorry , I've got a different take on religion . And personally , I think I look very anjadi-fied here ! HAHA :P

After 4 years , I'm finally eating KOTHU PRATA !!!!!!!!! Subu promised to let me taste Kothu Prata when I went to M'sia with him in 2005 but sooner it didn't materialise and till a few months back , I didn't know they sold Kothu Prata in Singapore . AND finally , I managed to taste it before the year ended !! OMG !!

You got coloured @
11:46 pm
[c]d4rkang3l

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Merry Merry X'mas . I had a FANTABULOUS x'mas this year and I'm so looking forward to my boxing day-out with my hommies . But I'm not going to blog about it yet .. I've got something quite serious ( and disgusting ) to blog about .

Anyways , one of the biggest consequences of running a marathon is attaining subungual hematoma aka Jogger's toe . It's really painful by the way and it's really disgusting . It's basically having blood blisters under your toe and you have to like .. use a needle to poke the nail and allow the blood to flow out and then wait for it to drop off or simply go to the doctor's to have it pulled out .

I already poked the swollen blood blister under my toenail and squeezed and allowed the blood to flow out but it's still not recovering . So I've decided to go to the doctor's to have it pulled ! I know ... I'm freaked out ! So here are the pictures .

Can you see the gap between my nail bed and toe nail ? I can literally lift it upwards ( as in pull it up but the bottom is still intact with the nail bed ) . And yes , its dried blood .

I still do bleed !!!!!!!

And this is the way I sterilised the needle and poked the nail and the swollen area under my toe nail to let the blood to flow out . And my nail is as discoloured as his !!

You got coloured @
3:12 am
[c]d4rkang3l

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Good afternoon readers . I am going to be 'ranting' about a very different range of subject today and if that is going to induce boredom in you , I suggest you cancel the page now but if you are really into human rights and solely believe in it , then continue reading .

I was just browsing through a few selected pages today and something caught my attention . I've always respected and adored Sheena Jebal's views on society and all . * Incase you people don't know who she is , she was the female host in the show called "Vidiyalukku Illai Thuram" which aired on Vasantham Central * . Well , she mentioned something about "Acid Terrorism " in her page and that simply took my attention to a serious problem faced by women in Pakistan .

Do read on ..

Faces of these women were mutilated by acid, and this is the work of bastards who call themselves men. This is such a strange way of solving problems (or revenge) in Pakistan. You can look at these poor women and learn why the acid was thrown into their faces........ To even think that such inhumane acts still continue to exist in this world, is hard to swallow! Very painful images about the really dark-side of modern-day life!

Be grateful for what you already have, cos life is not always all that more pleasant on the other side of the fence.

Saira Liaqat, 26, poses for the camera as she holds a portrait of herself before being burned, at her home in Lahore, Pakistan, Wednesday, July 9, 2008. When she was fifteen, Saira was married to a relative who would later attack her with acid after insistently demanding her to live with him, although the families had agreed she wouldn't join him until she finished school. Saira has undergone plastic surgery 9 times to try to recover from her scars.

Shameem Akhter, 18, poses for a photograph at her home in Jhang, Pakistan, Wednesday, July 10, 2008. Shameem was raped by three boys who then threw acid on her three years ago. Shameem has undergone plastic surgery 10! times to try to recover from her scars.

Najaf Sultana, 16, poses for a photograph at her home in Lahore, Pakistan on Wednesday, July 9, 2008. At the age of five Najaf was burned by her father while she was sleeping, apparently because he didn't want to have another girl in the family. As a result of the burning Najaf became blind and after being abandoned by both her parents she now lives with relatives. She has undergone plastic surgery around 15 times to try to recover from her scars.

Bushra Shari, 39, adjusts her veil as she poses for a photograph in Lahore, Pakistan, Friday, July. 11, 2008. Bushra was burned with acid thrown by her husband five years ago because she was trying to divorce him. She has undergone plastic surgery 25 times to try to recover from her scars.

Shehnaz Usman, 36, poses for a photograph in Lahore, Pakistan, Sunday, Oct. 26, 2008. Shehnaz was burned with acid by a relative due to a familial dispute five years ago. Shehnaz has undergone plastic surgery 10 times to try to recover from her scars.

Irum Saeed, 30, poses for a photograph at her office at the Urdu University of Islamabad, Pakistan, Thursday, July 24, 2008. Irum was burned on her face, back and shoulders twelve years ago when a boy whom she rejected for marriage threw acid on her in the middle of the street. She has undergone plastic surgery 25 times to try to recover from her scars.

Kanwal Kayum, 26, poses for a photograph in Lahore, Pakistan, Sunday, Oct. 26, 2008. Kanwal was burned with acid one year ago by a boy whom she rejected for marriage. She has never undergone plastic surgery.

Soo?? . Is it such a bitter pill too hard to swallow ? It better be . Let's face the truth - we people are too lucky to belong to the other side of the country that believes in compulsory education to both genders . Well , discrimination is definitely minimal in this country ( I shouldn't say it's an absolute zero because nothing is absolute in today's world ) . Hence many of us are well-informed , well-read and we can articulate our expressions and thoughts well unlike others . Women of the world , can you believe how lucky you are ?. I count myself highly lucky because I'm definitely not a submissive girl and oh fuck , I don't believe in male chauvinism and I strongly think misogynist can go fly kite ! So can you believe a girl like me living in such a "girls should always be brow-beaten society" ?. Yes .. that's what I am talking about .

Women of the world ( or rather , the developed countries ) , please realise how lucky and blessed you are . You are a woman for a reason - you know what you are capable of and all . There is no reason for you to be brow-beaten to a man . I mean , yes guys are supposed to be stronger and etc etc but that SIMPLY doesn't give them the right to ensure we become their dolls . C'mon ladies , come out of that cage . If not , honestly there's no difference in being in a developed or undeveloped country . Each affected woman is coming forth to share her stories to ensure we don't go through that and if you are not going to make a decision now , then there's no worth in her sacrifices !! . Firstly , step up - in every way . We can always be better than guys in everything - education , physical activities , looks , thoughts and the list goes on . We should always save our own self-respect and we cannot rely on the other gender to save our self-respect . A guy should only be there to complete your life , not to control you . Remember this , you don't owe a living to anyone else except to God ! God created you for a reason and so we owe our lives to him and not anyone else . And ladies , I read an excellent article on "Why women stay with controlling men " and trust me , all the points were so crystal-clear . Please visit this website http://psychcentral.com/lib/2009/why-women-stay-with-controlling-men/ for more .

ONE LOVE . ONE LIFE . LIVE IT !

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