I just HAVE to write something about it. It is so like me to leave it to the last minute to compose this post though.
This five years in Chong hwa has been a great experience for me, a journey of self discovery and learning.
As much as I criticise my school and teachers( unfortunately, all the time) I still appreciate them very much for broadening my knowledge(hmm... At least those lessons that I pay attention to) and providing opportunities for me to improve myself and see the world.
Form one was a fun and careless year. I didn't pay attention to half of my lessons and memorised my way to exams. I met new friends, made some( to be precise, one) enemies( for being too noisy=.=) but all in all, had a great year. I realised that I wasn't the very sociable type of people, I was a little shy in front of people that I think are way out of my league, don't really know how to communicate with guys and pretty much ignored teachers of whom I think are boring. Oh, and I learned how to be alone. :) other than that, I had a blast playing and talking all the time in class, to the extent of pouring water into someone's pencil box, sitting between rows and playing during class, and beaten with a cane on my backside. Hmm.
Form two was a low point in my five years. I used to put the blame on the inefficiency if my form teacher then but now I realised we were also much at fault. I was placed in a class of whom non of my besties last year were in, so I spent much of my time with two of my sort of new friends. Pretty much the whole year was spent fooling around with them. I yearned to know other people too, especially the boys but to no avail. I did get to know joy and gang and had a great time with them but for the majority of the class, we remained strangers that don't even say hi when we meet elsewhere. It was an awkward year for me, as I navigated around different gangs and tried to learn how to communicate. Life in society was depressing too, as I didn't really fit in with their crowd, except for xy, and had ultra low self confidence then. I couldn't do anything right, but others could. I failed my responsibilities. My superiors, who did not take much notice of me, did comment on my inability but I have to thank them tremendously for continuously believing in me and always giving me chances. Seriously.
Form three had a lot of embarrassing moments and happy memories. Unfortunately, the happy memories are often tinged with dissatisfaction or disappointment. I was still trying to figure out my personality and my role in a crowd, trying desperately to regain self confidence and do a good job. I tried really hard to get along with someone, someone I desperately wanted to know well, but in the end it could not work out. That left me in shreds actually, as it seems to imply that I am a loser social wise. I made a lot of good friends, had a wonderful time with them, but once again it was interrupted by my ever present worries of being left out or hated. I met someone, a senior in my society that taught me a lot and showed me a different way of surviving in the demanding and suffocating world of my society. He made me see things in a new light, so I thank him a lot a lot a lot :D xy was still my model though. Hehe.
I'm bored typing. Leave the last two years for another day. Yay.
2011年12月30日 星期五
I hate making decisions!
And writing about them too.
So let's not deal on that,yeah?
Sometimes I imagine that I am someone else,
Or have a personality and character that I dreaam of but obviously, do not possess
It can get pretty sad and discouraging, this hobby.
Making me feel useless,tiny and ever so vulnerable
But along the years, I have learned to accept who I am
I may not be who I want to be, but I am who I am, which is an unchangeable fact.
So why spend time yearning for something that can never be?
Yeah. I'm happy. I guess. Hees.
So let's not deal on that,yeah?
Sometimes I imagine that I am someone else,
Or have a personality and character that I dreaam of but obviously, do not possess
It can get pretty sad and discouraging, this hobby.
Making me feel useless,tiny and ever so vulnerable
But along the years, I have learned to accept who I am
I may not be who I want to be, but I am who I am, which is an unchangeable fact.
So why spend time yearning for something that can never be?
Yeah. I'm happy. I guess. Hees.
2011年12月23日 星期五
Erhem.
Everything is getting annoying lately. Especially on the matter regarding the future and where to go. Making such huge decisions are terrifying as you will Continuously worry about the consequences. Will the future me regret this decision? Each step I take seems to dictate my whole future hence must be pondered upon carefully. Yet considering something for so long and thorough doesn't ensure any comfort or confidence in choosing though. It just makes things worst. Sometimes I just want to make a rash decision and go with it, not bothering to think about all the tiny and confusing details. To just go with the flow and let life lead you wherever it wants to go. But of course, yo
Know that's never possible. I don't even think about it anymore. Just avoiding the matter altogether.
I am unable to fully digest and enjoy my books lately. I am unsure whether is it because of the nature of my books or the fact that I spent more time watching television this year then reading books, which used to be my favorite pastime. It sucks, seriously when my "improve your English! Learn the big words! Admire and remember all the beautiful adjectives!" mode kicks in and makes me more focused on the "mechanical"side of english thus denying me the pleasure of indulging in the story of the novel. This is what I do when I prepare for exams and somehow it has become some sort of a habit that totally destroys my passion of reading. Oh dang. Please don't take my world of novels away from me? And please don't criticize what I read and watch too, nor keep dropping hints on what I should be reading or watching. Yu know I would do the exact opposite and that will suck the pleasure out of my favorite hobbies too.
Last but not least, the spell check is annoying when typing names but incredibly helpful when typing blogs. Irony.
Know that's never possible. I don't even think about it anymore. Just avoiding the matter altogether.
I am unable to fully digest and enjoy my books lately. I am unsure whether is it because of the nature of my books or the fact that I spent more time watching television this year then reading books, which used to be my favorite pastime. It sucks, seriously when my "improve your English! Learn the big words! Admire and remember all the beautiful adjectives!" mode kicks in and makes me more focused on the "mechanical"side of english thus denying me the pleasure of indulging in the story of the novel. This is what I do when I prepare for exams and somehow it has become some sort of a habit that totally destroys my passion of reading. Oh dang. Please don't take my world of novels away from me? And please don't criticize what I read and watch too, nor keep dropping hints on what I should be reading or watching. Yu know I would do the exact opposite and that will suck the pleasure out of my favorite hobbies too.
Last but not least, the spell check is annoying when typing names but incredibly helpful when typing blogs. Irony.
2011年12月18日 星期日
Look at the time!
It's December19,2011.
two more weeks to January, 2012
and i am not enrolled in any school yet
still undecided
AND i'm still wasting my time typing this blog, searching for Tanya Chua's songs,
planning to meet Zora, watching Sherlock Holmes 2's trailer
hmm.
Let's not waste time talking about what an utter loser i am.
Let's talk about Cameron!
Well. I was a little worried at first, as i didn't know a lot of people that well actually
but i had a blast during the trip.
The noisiest trip ever, with non-stop chats
AND non- stop "Shh!!!" when the driver was talking in the phone
thank you all for giving me this wonderful memory
i will always, always remember how we had fun
doing the stupidest things ever,
taking the lame-st pictures ever,
and chatting about everything under the sun.
thanks :D
two more weeks to January, 2012
and i am not enrolled in any school yet
still undecided
AND i'm still wasting my time typing this blog, searching for Tanya Chua's songs,
planning to meet Zora, watching Sherlock Holmes 2's trailer
hmm.
Let's not waste time talking about what an utter loser i am.
Let's talk about Cameron!
Well. I was a little worried at first, as i didn't know a lot of people that well actually
but i had a blast during the trip.
The noisiest trip ever, with non-stop chats
AND non- stop "Shh!!!" when the driver was talking in the phone
thank you all for giving me this wonderful memory
i will always, always remember how we had fun
doing the stupidest things ever,
taking the lame-st pictures ever,
and chatting about everything under the sun.
thanks :D
2011年12月12日 星期一
seriously
this sucks.
i have so many things to do that i never get round to doing it
there's always some excuse to NOT do it
there's always some distraction around
so many decisions to make!
it sucks!
i have all these resolutions in my mind,
that i know i will most probably never achieve
i'm always saying that i want to improve my english
but i never do.
always distracted. maybe that's my motto=.=
anyways
lately a lot of friends have been going out for trips together with their gangs
and leaving sweet memories together with each other
i envy you guys, seriously!
i don't hang out in a gang, only with random friends
and i'm a lazy butt,
so probably going on trips just makes me go :" ohh.. tiring=="
yet i crave for it. Told ya i'm a mess.
always contradicting myself
like right now,
the bucket of clothes that are waiting to be hung,
is triggering my contradict-o system now
which retrieves data from the bank of excuses,
but of course, on the way to the bank it actually has to pass by
the department of guilt and responsibility
and also the department of counter-attack.
my contradict-o system is quite strong though.
"wait! i have to use the computer! i'm suppose to look up the ADP universities now!"
"GO HANG THE CLOTHES"
"no... i have to pack my bag :( "
"you wanna hang clothes in the afternoon? during the night? JUST DO IT!"
"no no no...please!! im blogging! i have to go flickr too!"
"why are you so obsessed with entertainment all the time? just a simple chore and you can't do it?"
...
get the picture?
i have so many things to do that i never get round to doing it
there's always some excuse to NOT do it
there's always some distraction around
so many decisions to make!
it sucks!
i have all these resolutions in my mind,
that i know i will most probably never achieve
i'm always saying that i want to improve my english
but i never do.
always distracted. maybe that's my motto=.=
anyways
lately a lot of friends have been going out for trips together with their gangs
and leaving sweet memories together with each other
i envy you guys, seriously!
i don't hang out in a gang, only with random friends
and i'm a lazy butt,
so probably going on trips just makes me go :" ohh.. tiring=="
yet i crave for it. Told ya i'm a mess.
always contradicting myself
like right now,
the bucket of clothes that are waiting to be hung,
is triggering my contradict-o system now
which retrieves data from the bank of excuses,
but of course, on the way to the bank it actually has to pass by
the department of guilt and responsibility
and also the department of counter-attack.
my contradict-o system is quite strong though.
"wait! i have to use the computer! i'm suppose to look up the ADP universities now!"
"GO HANG THE CLOTHES"
"no... i have to pack my bag :( "
"you wanna hang clothes in the afternoon? during the night? JUST DO IT!"
"no no no...please!! im blogging! i have to go flickr too!"
"why are you so obsessed with entertainment all the time? just a simple chore and you can't do it?"
...
get the picture?
2011年12月8日 星期四
hmm hmm
blogger is better. definitely.
i tried to open another blog so that i c an write stuff that i don't want people to know about
(not that people read this blog anyway. everyone seems to have abandoned blogger :( )
tried Tumblr.
probably because i'm a newbie there
i don't know how to use it
and it seems weird to write personal stuff there
probably it's still new to me and we haven't got to know each other well enough yet
unlike blogger, my dear blog, of whom i have known for years
so don't be jealous, dear blog. i will try to get to know Tumblr too.
i seem to be falling back into the same traps i fell into long ago
how i climbed out of the holes,
i remember, but it seems like i have to keep reminding NOT to fall back again
don't i get naturally acquired immunity?
it'll become tiring having to pick after myself all the time
wary of tricks and traps that my mind sets for me
boo hoo... go away guys
i will have an immunity against you, you wait and see
i will produce antibodies strong enough ti "lysis" you. erm.
illogical lol. who cares. Bio is over.
i tried to open another blog so that i c an write stuff that i don't want people to know about
(not that people read this blog anyway. everyone seems to have abandoned blogger :( )
tried Tumblr.
probably because i'm a newbie there
i don't know how to use it
and it seems weird to write personal stuff there
probably it's still new to me and we haven't got to know each other well enough yet
unlike blogger, my dear blog, of whom i have known for years
so don't be jealous, dear blog. i will try to get to know Tumblr too.
i seem to be falling back into the same traps i fell into long ago
how i climbed out of the holes,
i remember, but it seems like i have to keep reminding NOT to fall back again
don't i get naturally acquired immunity?
it'll become tiring having to pick after myself all the time
wary of tricks and traps that my mind sets for me
boo hoo... go away guys
i will have an immunity against you, you wait and see
i will produce antibodies strong enough ti "lysis" you. erm.
illogical lol. who cares. Bio is over.
2011年12月5日 星期一
2011年12月4日 星期日
2011年11月24日 星期四
2011年10月13日 星期四
wonderful songs :) - Izi
Courtesy of Zora, i got to know this wonderful korean band - Izi
here are two of their songs~ very, very nice. Go to youtube to hear more.
Check this out Izi-Emergency room, which is the soundtrack of Sassy girl Chunhyang~ fabby :)
Saranghago Shapuso(i think i misspelled==)
Oduwo (dark)
2011年10月11日 星期二
blended.
What if what we like is not we are best at?
what if there is nothing that we are best at?
then should we choose what we like?
but what if what we are best at is not what we like?
should it be what we are best at or what we like?
Ikut hati mati, ikut rasa binasa, ikut mata buta.
so that means we should choose what is realistic instead of following our hearts?
but if that means choosing something we are best at but not what we like,
yeap the bread's there but where's the joy?
but then to survive, does joy play any part?
no, it seems. the important thing is to survive.
but without joy, how are we to survive?
this is stupid. =.=
i'll do whatever i want.
nostalgia. touched?
Took a look at a few long time no see friend's blogs
wow
how much everyone has changed
we are all so different from one another now
leading different sort of lives
everyone seems so mature now,
so, grown up
I feel like im still where i was,
never changed
yet somehow i have
wow.
that's all i can say.
wow.
maybe i better quicken my steps to keep up with others then :)
gambatte!
2011年10月10日 星期一
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
I seem to be hooked with blogging
My current English teacher introduced me to the phrase all work and no play makes jack a dull boy
I can't stop agreeing with that
But of course,
For Jack to play he has to fulfill a few requirements first.
One, he has to think maturely and rationally, as to know when he should study and when not
Two, he has to have a high level of self discipline do that he will be able to stop playing and start working after some considerable time of leisure, which is not easy to do
Just this two requirements can make Jack have a head splitting headache over the merest possibility of achieving even just twenty percent of it.
Hence,
If Jack cannot do it,
It's better if Jack doesn't play at all
And focus on working
Otherwise,
He may not be a dull boy,
But he may become a good for nothing boy.
A sad conclusion,
A grim outlook of life,
But that's life for you!
2011年10月9日 星期日
Marry me! Mary
I don't know exactly why I am hooked to this drama
Probably because I just love the chemistry between the two main characters
It just feels very natural and homely,
How Mary tidys and cooks for him
And how he goes home earlier just to eat mary's dinner
And how he smiles whenever he receives her message
Or that they both are loyal to each other
With no confused state of minds
Like other dramas do
That can Get pretty annoying after some time.
Of course,
The cute jang guen suk helps too :)
Weirdo
I just read the newest issue of National Geographic
Which left me in doubts about the fact that I am a teenager.
I DON'T like taking risks
I don't party all night
I don't know how to drive
I have never dated before
Nor had a crush
Nor had a tattoo
Nor had a piercing
Not even on my ears
Probably due to the fact that I dont think there's any point to doing stuff that
Can pose harm to my body and most probably shorten my lifespan
I don't smoke I don't drink
Nor do I plan to
I don't like to go out much
I'd much prefer to sit in a coffee shop drinking dark mocha and reading a book
Or staying at home
Or watching movies whether at a cinema or friend's house
Then to roam about shopping malls with nothing to do
That sounds like a pretty boring life, doesn't it?
Well. It lacks the essence of a typical teenage life
If you compare it to whatever you read in the books, watch in the movies or stated in the article
Well. The best explanation I can come up with is only that
1. Due to the difference in western and Asian culture
2 I'm a goody two shoes
The second explanation seems to be more prominent although the first explanation works too
Ah well.
I'm sure I'm still a teenager, as I have the typical teenage syndromes of being hotheaded, negative, horrible mood swings,ignorant
So am I lucky that I only exhibit half of the typical teenager symptoms?
Or am I missing out in the golden ages of teens where you are suppose to have done outrageous things that will become wonderful memories in years to come?
Well. Who cares.
I'll live my teenage years the way I want it
Uniquely me.
Which left me in doubts about the fact that I am a teenager.
I DON'T like taking risks
I don't party all night
I don't know how to drive
I have never dated before
Nor had a crush
Nor had a tattoo
Nor had a piercing
Not even on my ears
Probably due to the fact that I dont think there's any point to doing stuff that
Can pose harm to my body and most probably shorten my lifespan
I don't smoke I don't drink
Nor do I plan to
I don't like to go out much
I'd much prefer to sit in a coffee shop drinking dark mocha and reading a book
Or staying at home
Or watching movies whether at a cinema or friend's house
Then to roam about shopping malls with nothing to do
That sounds like a pretty boring life, doesn't it?
Well. It lacks the essence of a typical teenage life
If you compare it to whatever you read in the books, watch in the movies or stated in the article
Well. The best explanation I can come up with is only that
1. Due to the difference in western and Asian culture
2 I'm a goody two shoes
The second explanation seems to be more prominent although the first explanation works too
Ah well.
I'm sure I'm still a teenager, as I have the typical teenage syndromes of being hotheaded, negative, horrible mood swings,ignorant
So am I lucky that I only exhibit half of the typical teenager symptoms?
Or am I missing out in the golden ages of teens where you are suppose to have done outrageous things that will become wonderful memories in years to come?
Well. Who cares.
I'll live my teenage years the way I want it
Uniquely me.
2011年10月7日 星期五
Books,books and books!
The big bad wolf book sale is here!
Why oh why then must I be preparing for exams this year?
Why oh why that I have been denied from enjoying books this year?
Oh why oh why
Wait. I know why.
Because once I start reading, there's no stopping me until the book's finished from cover to cover.
Not enough self discipline, you can call that
Or that a book sucks you into a void that is hard to exit from until you finish it
Hmm.
Why oh why then must I be preparing for exams this year?
Why oh why that I have been denied from enjoying books this year?
Oh why oh why
Wait. I know why.
Because once I start reading, there's no stopping me until the book's finished from cover to cover.
Not enough self discipline, you can call that
Or that a book sucks you into a void that is hard to exit from until you finish it
Hmm.
2011年10月6日 星期四
Off the beaten road
Everyone seems to be going from introverted to extroverted, except me
I'm going the other way round
Whatever.
Ignore ignore
Everyday I seem to have a lot to write
But every time those things appear in my mind, there's no access to Internet
Woosh.
They're stuck in my head
2011年10月4日 星期二
I got a feeling..
Youtube has an invisible force that keeps pulling me towards it
i got a feeling im gonna fail my calculus test this friday.
i'm experienceing the failing feeling!!!
please, please no ><
i don't want history to be repeated again.
i got a feeling im gonna fail my calculus test this friday.
i'm experienceing the failing feeling!!!
please, please no ><
i don't want history to be repeated again.
2011年10月3日 星期一
Seriously.
I used to think that cats are cute, adorable and absolutely lovable
That was until they started defaecating behind my house
Creating that awful odor
That makes me cringe every time I go to the kitchen
Excuse me, cats
That's MY backyard you're defaecating on
it's not a public toilet!
And to think that always used to treat you guys so well
To always give you guys sweet smiles and a little friendly meow whenever we meet
Argh!
I'm sorry but the meow has turn into a roar today
Wait. I'm NOT sorry
Your own fault for doing this to me
Is this how you treat a friend?:(
Unfriend unfriend!!
(I can't believe I'm fighting with cats==)
That was until they started defaecating behind my house
Creating that awful odor
That makes me cringe every time I go to the kitchen
Excuse me, cats
That's MY backyard you're defaecating on
it's not a public toilet!
And to think that always used to treat you guys so well
To always give you guys sweet smiles and a little friendly meow whenever we meet
Argh!
I'm sorry but the meow has turn into a roar today
Wait. I'm NOT sorry
Your own fault for doing this to me
Is this how you treat a friend?:(
Unfriend unfriend!!
(I can't believe I'm fighting with cats==)
What am i doing here?
I can't believe im here when i should be sketching graphs!!
aah!
sometimes i really wonder how do people control themselves
there just seems to be this NOT switch in us(or maybe just me:( )
that makes our body do whatever that our brains tell us specifically, NOT to do
then after that, the brain will keep torturing us(or, maybe just me =.=)
for NOT doing whatever we were suppose to be doing, but ain't
then we'll(OR, maybe just ME o.o) feel guilty, bad
and shout into the air : HEY WHAT ARE YOU DOING! WASTING TIME!! AHHHH
then we'll( or, me=.=) complain to our( im getting tired of this. OR JUST ME) parents
that we (...) can't finish studying
booooo~
faults our ( you know what im going to say) own
like now,
i should be sketching graphs!!
NO! DON"T GO TOUCH YOUTUBE!
NONONO!
NO KDRAMA!!
even as i type this,
i know my fingers will be typing, www.youtube....
sad sad sad me :(
aah!
sometimes i really wonder how do people control themselves
there just seems to be this NOT switch in us(or maybe just me:( )
that makes our body do whatever that our brains tell us specifically, NOT to do
then after that, the brain will keep torturing us(or, maybe just me =.=)
for NOT doing whatever we were suppose to be doing, but ain't
then we'll(OR, maybe just ME o.o) feel guilty, bad
and shout into the air : HEY WHAT ARE YOU DOING! WASTING TIME!! AHHHH
then we'll( or, me=.=) complain to our( im getting tired of this. OR JUST ME) parents
that we (...) can't finish studying
booooo~
faults our ( you know what im going to say) own
like now,
i should be sketching graphs!!
NO! DON"T GO TOUCH YOUTUBE!
NONONO!
NO KDRAMA!!
even as i type this,
i know my fingers will be typing, www.youtube....
sad sad sad me :(
2011年10月2日 星期日
Monster
Par amore's monster rocks
More than linkin park's iridescent, even though they're both my favorite bands
I think that a monster lurks in me
Some horrible thoughts appear in my head all the time
Stuff that I know I should not be thinking,
Stiff that even a three year old knows its wrong
I always mentally slap myself after thinking these thoughts
And then feel disbelief that how I can think of such things
Luckily, they never come out.
Creepy, huh? What if I'm drjekyll and mr Hyde?
Better not let me drink any weird potions lately...
More than linkin park's iridescent, even though they're both my favorite bands
I think that a monster lurks in me
Some horrible thoughts appear in my head all the time
Stuff that I know I should not be thinking,
Stiff that even a three year old knows its wrong
I always mentally slap myself after thinking these thoughts
And then feel disbelief that how I can think of such things
Luckily, they never come out.
Creepy, huh? What if I'm drjekyll and mr Hyde?
Better not let me drink any weird potions lately...
2011年10月1日 星期六
Beautiful :)
Golf courses are actually pretty
I got a glimpse of it as I passed by one huge, huge golf course surrounded by huge,huge trees this morning
Green grass, fresh air (looks fresh),old looking trees shrouded by a thin layer of mist
Reminiscent of the 2005film pride a prejudice
A girl dressed in an English dress running through the fields just fits the picture perfectly
:)
Sometimes this world is just so beautiful
Especially the tiniest parts where we tend to ignore normally
It's sad to see forests cleared to become acres upon acres of red, bare, bleeding soil
Can't you see that the land is bleeding??
And yet, for modernization they need to be sacrificed
Yeap. So just close your eyes and pretend not to see it when you pass them by, lest you feel their bleeding souls.
I got a glimpse of it as I passed by one huge, huge golf course surrounded by huge,huge trees this morning
Green grass, fresh air (looks fresh),old looking trees shrouded by a thin layer of mist
Reminiscent of the 2005film pride a prejudice
A girl dressed in an English dress running through the fields just fits the picture perfectly
:)
Sometimes this world is just so beautiful
Especially the tiniest parts where we tend to ignore normally
It's sad to see forests cleared to become acres upon acres of red, bare, bleeding soil
Can't you see that the land is bleeding??
And yet, for modernization they need to be sacrificed
Yeap. So just close your eyes and pretend not to see it when you pass them by, lest you feel their bleeding souls.
2011年9月21日 星期三
?
i am ridden by guilt
i've realised my faults now.
Too greedy,
that has contributed to my fall
i feel guilty, horrible
now i understand why, why am i always losing the people around me
i'm sorry.
i'm always wanting things i can't get,
and when i get them, i want something else
That's why i always end up with nothing.
i'm sorry
it's probably too late,
but i'll cope with it
i hope i can learn to care and love one day.
i've realised my faults now.
Too greedy,
that has contributed to my fall
i feel guilty, horrible
now i understand why, why am i always losing the people around me
i'm sorry.
i'm always wanting things i can't get,
and when i get them, i want something else
That's why i always end up with nothing.
i'm sorry
it's probably too late,
but i'll cope with it
i hope i can learn to care and love one day.
2011年9月8日 星期四
Rock
I just finished typing a post
Which went missing
Adding to my frustration
I don't want to type it out again
But it feels lousy, to have no one
To be alone,
To have no one close,
To have missed opportunities
To battle with myself everyday
To w ant to cry yet the tears don't come
To
I don't know how to write
I'm supposed to be studying right now
If only people didn't have emotions
If only we didn't have to..
I can't even write that out
Because if I do
I will be judged
As I judge others too.
No one will agree anyway.
No one does
You'll most probably just brush me off and say, you? Mana possible..
Yet it is, and it's happening.
Which went missing
Adding to my frustration
I don't want to type it out again
But it feels lousy, to have no one
To be alone,
To have no one close,
To have missed opportunities
To battle with myself everyday
To w ant to cry yet the tears don't come
To
I don't know how to write
I'm supposed to be studying right now
If only people didn't have emotions
If only we didn't have to..
I can't even write that out
Because if I do
I will be judged
As I judge others too.
No one will agree anyway.
No one does
You'll most probably just brush me off and say, you? Mana possible..
Yet it is, and it's happening.
2011年8月7日 星期日
It is always difficult before it is easy
I. Disagree.
That's not true! It might be for a while, but
As life is,
Once you think so,ething is easy, some other hardship will present itself to you
And you'll regret ever thinking it was easy
Nothings easy,
No.
There will always be mountain after mountain of challenges waiting ahead of us
Waiting to be tamed
Or whatever
Wow.
Such a sad outlook of life ==
That's not true! It might be for a while, but
As life is,
Once you think so,ething is easy, some other hardship will present itself to you
And you'll regret ever thinking it was easy
Nothings easy,
No.
There will always be mountain after mountain of challenges waiting ahead of us
Waiting to be tamed
Or whatever
Wow.
Such a sad outlook of life ==
Guiltguiltguilt
I, am a seriously lousy person
Sometimes I tend to ignore people,
Make people feel left out,
Lose my patience,
Talk impolitely
I suck suck suck suck suck
Urgh
Sorry, people
It's just that the older I get,the more I tend to be
Unsocial able
So,so sorry.
I will try to control myself
Swallowed by guilt
Sometimes I tend to ignore people,
Make people feel left out,
Lose my patience,
Talk impolitely
I suck suck suck suck suck
Urgh
Sorry, people
It's just that the older I get,the more I tend to be
Unsocial able
So,so sorry.
I will try to control myself
Swallowed by guilt
2011年8月5日 星期五
The effects, of 1malaysia
Frankly speaking, I never had a problem with languages
As a Chinese,staying in Malaysia, I have had to learn and speak three languages all my life. Namely, Chinese,Malay and English
But seriously, now that I'm trying to improve them all by reading and writing more
The three languages all get muddled up in my mind!
I find it much easier to utter a sentence consisting of all three languages rather then just, one.
Good?
Nah. I face a lot of problems when I am conversing with people who only know one of those three languages
The words just don't come
My grammar switches between all three languages inconsistently
Truly Malaysian style, truly rojak
Wahhhhh TT macam mana!!!
Ps.this blogger keeps automatically changing my words to english. How am i suppose to type some other language?
It doesn't even Llow an error in my speellingg!
(hah! Just ignored it ==)
As a Chinese,staying in Malaysia, I have had to learn and speak three languages all my life. Namely, Chinese,Malay and English
But seriously, now that I'm trying to improve them all by reading and writing more
The three languages all get muddled up in my mind!
I find it much easier to utter a sentence consisting of all three languages rather then just, one.
Good?
Nah. I face a lot of problems when I am conversing with people who only know one of those three languages
The words just don't come
My grammar switches between all three languages inconsistently
Truly Malaysian style, truly rojak
Wahhhhh TT macam mana!!!
Ps.this blogger keeps automatically changing my words to english. How am i suppose to type some other language?
It doesn't even Llow an error in my speellingg!
(hah! Just ignored it ==)
2011年8月2日 星期二
Yeah.aspirations
Ah well. It's about time to think about that, ei?
I've been thinking about these two phrases lately.
"never allow yourself to regret" and "never regret anything you do"
That's kinda sad, isn't it?
You would be spending your time ever wondering:will the future me regret this?is this the correct decision?
It sucks to live that way, I've tried it
In the end, it seems just better to Just Do It rather then think so much
You'll be missin much more if yout hink so much ==
I've been thinking about these two phrases lately.
"never allow yourself to regret" and "never regret anything you do"
That's kinda sad, isn't it?
You would be spending your time ever wondering:will the future me regret this?is this the correct decision?
It sucks to live that way, I've tried it
In the end, it seems just better to Just Do It rather then think so much
You'll be missin much more if yout hink so much ==
2011年6月7日 星期二
Music memories
that music may just play a tiny part in the memory
as in, some random music playing in the background
or play a big part in the memory
but nevertheless
it becomes the key to a barrel of memories
or
experiences that play a vital role in our life
it is during these instances
that i am thankful for life the most
that i am grateful
that i am who i am
and i have a wonderful life
tears and unknowing smiles :)
These are the real moments of life.
2011年6月6日 星期一
2011年5月20日 星期五
Everything :)
I gave it my all
this mid year exam =)
The first time in the history of CH exams,
that i studied so hard,
got so nervous,
got so stressed
and hold high hopes for it
I hope the results will be good
or else I will feel so, so bad=.=
This is how it feels to try your best?
drained=.=
The end of exams signifies the start of another busy period
Life just DOESN'T give up, does it?
eeks. I won't stop too :)
2011年1月27日 星期四
Isolated
That's my Barbie. Yes, I still play with my Barbie. Lately feeling a little isolated from everything, due to the fact that i'm in a new class, with a new aim.
Yup. I'm gonna be Miss Diligent this year.
It's only January and i wonder if it will work. Perseverance!! The price of that is loneliness. I seem to have lost all ability to communicate. I can't even imagine talking for longer then 10 minutes!! I'm enjoying silence a little too much now.
So maybe Miss Diligent will become Miss Silent too.
2011年1月21日 星期五
Friday
There was this one day when the clouds
had this weird orange tinge
they went PERFECTLY with the blue blue sky.
Pretty!!! i love it so much =)
i just love blue skies and white clouds
btw, u realise the clouds form a T word?
haha... it's for me!! (my surname, geddit?)
i think why i like clouds is because my name ahs something to do with it.
Blue sky? er. i think everybody likes it too.
unless, u like the rain of course.
stop babbling=.=
i wonder are there any strangers reading this blog?
2011年1月19日 星期三
Sea.
Tomorrow i can't go online, so i'm posting tomorrow's picture, TODAY.
This is not a good picture. Too many over exposed bits in the part where the waves crash( which is the best part of the picture! TT) It's all white there!! That just shows how much of a rookie i am.
This is Terengganu's beach. yum yum =) beautiful, huh? The sea there has a different shade than that of Port Dickson's, or any other beaches i've went. It is extremely beautiful. Unfortunately, on the day we went the sky was sending warnings of a big thunderstorm ahead. Thus, the color of the sky and the clouds. Fortunately, it was a false alarm as it did not rain!
I just love the sea, the sand, the view. It is just bliss to walk along the shoreline and enjoy the breeze. When i'm at the beach, my mood automatically shifts to a relaxed and happy one. Somehow the sound of waves crashing soothes me.
YUM!! =)
A picture a day keeps the __ away
Yes. Im going on with this project! a Picture a day =)
This picture was taken in KLPac, last year. That's Zora, by the way. We just enjoyed a truly beautiful dance performance ( Black and White, i think) there and were taking a stroll around the gardens.
This is the Koi Garden. Zora's looking at the big, fat kois in the pond. By Big and Fat, i really mean it. They're Big and Fat!!! They must live a good life. Everyday, swimming around the moderately sized pond, with food to eat, people to stare at, a wonderful atmosphere,
no wonder they are Big and Fat. Do they know anything about the oustide world? except for the fish-eyed view of humans faces and fingers above the surface. I doubt they know anything else. It's pretty comfortable in there.
Why am i wondering about fishes? Hmm. anyway, that was a memorable day, i really love wandering around with a camera in hand and a green background.
yum =)
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