results are out and its damn bleah:/ i think i was being a little overconfident cause everyone keeps telling me that in sem 1 cause its common engin modules aero students have the benefit of the bell curve effect. but it seems like i was one of those pushing ppl up the bell curve instead. sian diao.
i think i was trying so hard to fit in to school, making friends, getting stressed out over adapting that i lost focus of my academics. looking back, i only rmb all the fun stuff i did in cca, and all my ponning lectures:/
next sem i am going to get a disgustingly pro gpa and pull my cgpa up!
I was flying 12:15
i'm up in genting now celebrating the passing of one of the most eventful years of my life. i think its like the 3rd time i'm celebrating new years here. haha.
in 2010, i think i really grew a lot from the new experiences i had. i started the year with my teaching internship at northland sec, where i was introduced to a whole new environment of neighbourhood schools. it was almost like seeing singapore in a different light and it really made me more aware of the society around me. then i worked in SGH, where i talked to so many new ppl in singapore (through the phone) and learnt how difficult the service industry was. However my awesome colleagues made this low-paying long hours work totally worthwhile and this is by far the best job i ever had:) and of course the biggest highlight of the year was when i had to make one of the biggest decisions of my life, deciding on my future. fate decided it was not for me to be a doctor and it brought me back to my original passion aerospace. then the week avoiding phone calls from DSTA cause i couldnt decide if i really wanted to spend the next 10 years of my life with them was intense. and my failure to adpat to NTU initially made things worse as i kept looking back and going back and forth with my decision. also, my bro told me he had a girlfriend (which was ultimate shocking news), and i got my driving license.
wow, that was one heck of a year.
in 2011, i'm going to try to make it even more awesome than the last. it alr looks pretty promising:) i'm going to start this awesome year with an OCIP trip to Laos, which i believe is going to be an amazing experience; this year i am going to say bye bye to teenager-hood and turn 20; this year i am going to go on a back packing trip with my friends to australia! ahha. i decided resolutions were no good for me. the world resolute is too strong a word for me. haha. instead i have some goals i will work towards! ahah. ok it doesnt really sound that different. in 2o11, i am going to try and be nice and accumulate good karma before i turn 21! ahha. i am also going to try to be more active in school stuff, be more open, meet new ppl, try new stuff. and of course do well in school, find some way to not hate and pon so many lectures, get good grades so i can go on exchange:) oh last but not least, although this has been on my resoltions list for the past i dunno how many years but it never happened, i am going to try to lose some weight. ahhaha.
next year when i am blogging on 01/01/2012 about 2011, i am going to say again "wow that was one heck of a year".
cheers to an awesome year ahead!:)
I was flying 02:38
something is definitely wrong with me. i'm always feeling sleepy in the day but super energetic at night. but too bad the world operates the other way. but to think of it if i were to travel somewhere like US i will prob not get jet lag. ahhaha.
i realised my weekends are super duper unproductive. actually i think its just my house. ahha. unless its at night, like now. i just cant seem to do any work in the normal hours of the day when i am home:/ and its not really helping that i have 3 tests next week:/ and i'm really counting on them to pull my horrendous grades up... but it looks rather impossible cause right now i am still doing back log tutorials(which are tested in the tests). WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. i didnt use to be so slack. or at least i had a better slack/work ratio. now its like 90% slack 10% work.
ok i shall take advantage of my nocturnal hyperness and try to clear all my back log tutorial. and hopefully still have enough time to sleep. ahha.
I was flying 01:44
its sunday night again... ok technically its a monday morning already:/ but i like blogging on sunday nights cause i finally have the time and mood to look back on the week and kinda put a proper closure on it and ready myself for the week ahead:)
the past week was alright... busy busy busy but somehow time seem to pass really fast... school is getting better... on some levels. haha. academically, its not going so well cause my work load is just piling up and i am even more lost in lectures than ever (esp computing) cause new stuff is being stuffed into my brain before the old stuff was digested. but other than that i guess its ok... getting used to the 1.5hour travel time... and its nice to go for lessons with some friends now instead of alone:) despite having made new friends i am still trying to differentiate acquantance from friends. i mean yea i have gotten to know more ppl but most of them are very hi-bye in nature... like some i dont even know their names-.- just chit chat then bye bye. its kinda hard to really build up friendships like in sec sch or jc cause of the way uni is structured... i feel that according to my definition of friends i would say currently i have 5 new friends. haha. 3 from my course, 1 from tkd and 1 from LDP. but again, when it comes to friends, its not the quantity, but the quality that counts right? ahha.
anw i am really liking my new cca LDP:) i dunno i just feel v comfortable around this group of ppl and i think this is a place i could make real friends than just acquantances. somehow i am more myself in this cca... happier and more crazy(not crazy crazy but like more me) ahah. it was really nice to see how close knit the members are... and i think i am slowly changing my opinion on foreign students... ahha. i am not like pro-cheena now or anything, but i guess i am more objective at this issue now... not ALL cheena ppl are bad. actually from my experience, i find the foreign students in ntu more friendly and sincere than the local ones... which i dunno whether i should feel happy or sad about:/
only big issue i have now is my love-hate relationship with tkd. hmm maybe not love-hate but love-fear??? i really really wanna do well but i really cannot cope with the physical intensity:( i know i should stop whining and just concentrate on improving on my fitness but its like a huge mental stigma:( i would feel really excited to go for tkd and learn something new and improve and stuff, but then when i think of me not being able to do it properly i will just totally feel depressed and not feel like going anymore:( sighhh.
rahh i shall rmb my que sera sera and just keep fighting. this week is going to be a crazy crazy week but all the hardwork is going to be worth it cause once its over its RECESS WEEK!:)
I was flying 00:24
work is piling up... urgh i hate attending tutorials without doing tutorials. makes the tutorial seem v useless. i felt totally freaked out during computing tutorial today... i couldnt do the hands on. and it was really stressful cause like everyone else seems to be breezing through it and i am the only one struggling with it:/ i just don get the subject man. now i am kinda wishing my laptop would just come to life and teach me their language. i wouldnt mind being a computer for a day, or even a week for that matter. ahha.
had my interview for the school sponsored scholarship today... really hope i can get it but then it didnt feel v good:/ as in it was a really boring and typical interview, nothing impressive or anything. honestly if i were the interviewers i prob wouldnt have a v good impression on me:/ fingers crossed hopefully they saw some redeeming quality in me and award me that scholarship.
feeling quite sian about tkd still. my failure to catch up with the others has been really depressing:( i feel so shameful having told ppl that i had learnt tkd before and was a brown belt. seriously i think i must be the worst brown belt in the world:( i bet ppl must be like wondering how the hell i managed to scam through all those gradings and get my belt. sometimes i wonder how i got here too. only comforting thought is that at least i am not a black belt. luckily i stopped before going for black, or else i would be feeling even more shameful that i suck so much:( i have thought of giving up, and have been trying to brainwash myself into taking a one year hiatus to train up on my stamina first, but i know its just an excuse:( i prob will just stop doing tkd altogether if i stop again now. its just that i have been feeling so lousy about myself during tkd that the thought of giving up just keeps popping up in my head. its like i am in an awesome team, learning from great seniors and an amazing coach, but yet i still feel damn lousy:( i really need to break out of this mental barrier or i will be getting no where:(
ok i must believe that i am a fighter, not a quitter.
just gotta take a deep breath and start again.
I was flying 20:17
woke up unusually early this morn at 9am. i think my brain has a tv alarm that wakes me up for impt things such as catching my fav shows on tv. ahha. had my weekly dose of How I Met Your Mother marathon on starworld(5 back to back episodes with minimal adverts:)) its such an awesomely funny show. ahha. if i could i would start everyday with an episode of How I Met Your Mother. it just cracks me up so much and puts me in a good mood straight away:) i still cant get the image of barney joining the price is right out of my head. lol. after that i watched 2 hours of this hk drama, britains next top model and spiderman 2(at least my 5th time watching it). AND i just returned from watching the legendary fist of chen zhen with my family! ahha. that is like more than half a day of staring at the screen. oh oh but the movie was so awesome! i never liked any of the chinese action stars(esp jackie chan) but i think donnie yen is really cool! like despite his fame and stuff he is still quite humble(unlike jackie chan and jet li) and he has the whole package! the moves, the look and the crazy hot bod! ahha.
oh but sadness fight quest had its last episode yesterday:( but it was a cool episode it was on IP man's yong chun quan. ahah. and doug won the fight! awesome:) sigh all these talk about fighting is reminding me of taekwondo and how much i suck at it:( rahh. i really wanna do better but there is only so much my fat blobby body can do:( rahh i'm wondering if i should bring my white or brown belt next lesson. i'm alomst surely going to get scolded for wearing a white but if i wear the brown and join the seniors i think i will just die:/ SIGHHH.
shall get back to doing my physics online assignment. its due in erm 2.5 hours. shall blog more about the week later:)
I was flying 20:53
the past week has been one of my happiest week since school started... small things that just brightened my day:)
mon -yy came to crash lecture for 2 hr and we were highly entertained by someone...
tues -i made new friends in tkd:)
wed -i talked to this ang moh accent girl in maritime studies
thurs -winnie drove me and xiuqi home:)
fri -went swimming with jas pang (we ended up sitting in the rain chatting)
sat -went shopping with mum
sun -"roadtrip" with wennie yy and lisa:)
oh and i didnt forget you jacq! ahah. havent smsed/chat with her in a while... but we smsed this week!:)
so although i can still count the number of friends i have in school with ONE hand (yes i am a loner-.-) but i felt a lot less lonely this week cause i know that i still have awesome ppl there for me outside of school!:) and i shall continue to remain positive that i will make more friends in school! shall aim to hit number of friends = countable with TWO hands by end of week. ahha. slow and steady yos. now that my aches and sores have subsided, i am really psyched to go for tkd on tues!:)
and i will bear in mind that even if i fail to hit my TWO hand quota this week, jasmine is NOT a lonely girl. she has plenty of awesome friends who are just an sms/msn/email/phone call away and a family who will always be there for her no matter what:)))
I was flying 22:06
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Pilot
Credits: KIMHONG!
Images: x x
Inspiration: blogger
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Thursday, 20 January 2011