To: Amanda Seow

I LOVE YOU

hello again, finally..

this blog has been neglected.
I'm okay, back to school..
lots of things to do this semester. projects, tests and projects.

powpow has enlisted and I miss him so much.

azfar has gone to aussie land to study. I hope he is well.

alright. bye.

in krabi.
seven days.
till then,
xoxo.

need to lose weight.

need to lose weight.

NEED.

TO.

LOSE.

WEIGHT.

the past
it was hard for the past two weeks or so.
weeks after weeks of submissions,
I almost had no time left to prepare.
blame it on bad time-management or
blame it on me for procrastinating all the time.
but, I did do my best. I DID. although I could have done more..

I finally made myself a good meal.
no msg.
:)

the present
I just got home from watching Ratatouille.
and I feel that this' movie is awesome.
my eyes feel sooooooooooo dry, I need to get my contacts out.
let the eyes breeeeaaatttthhheeeee~

my nails are not yellow anymore.

the future
paint my nails(?).
supp paper (wtf, tabarnak! non, merci.).
get at least 15 hours of sleep in one night.
swim. jog. eat more.
dye my hair.
pierce somewhere... where?
get a job.
most importantly,
I'm going to krabi in 3 days. THREE DAYS.
I'll be there and maybe phuket for seven days.

yes, I promise more entries next time.
more pictures, if there are entries.
if I get inspired, that is ;)

present
I'mma go take a shower now.


bonne nuit.good night.wan an.oyasumi.

I dedicate my life to the poweful and mind-blowing world of Information Technology.
with all my heart, I believe in IT.
with every second I have, I will serve IT.
every breath I take, I take for IT.

If I said "I love you"




been so long, this blog feels forsaken.
I've been busy and I'm busier now because the exams are around the corner.
I've also been partying quite a bit.
met up with my long-time best friend and had a great time together.
when we get together, we behave like we were still kids in secondary school.
time flies, we're 20 and its been 7 years since we've known each other.

I'm going out in awhile to meet up with my classmates to do our revision together.
and I really want to make this fruitful.
I should get going and prepare.
maybe I should take a mini nap before going, I don't wanna feel sleepy.
its a major challenge to NOT feel sleepy.

okay, time to stop.
I promise I'll blog more soon.

au revoir.

I wish I was a star in the sky.
then maybe I can see you every night.

sometimes its better to let go.
sometimes you can't let go.
is it really up to me?
is it really meant to be.
maybe its time I learn to stand up on my own,
and look at this stone-cold world right into the face.

They can't tell me who to love.
and they can't stop me either.

everytime I think about the past,
I feel thankful for the present.
indeed many things have changed,
indeed, people changed.
I hold on to this dearly, close to my heart.
no one can ever stop me from loving you.
because deep down inside I know you're the only one for me.
you hold a very special place in my heart.
and I will lay my life down for you, anytime.

I want to be your baby forever.

hello.
I hope the weekend never come to an end.
grant my wish. I have been wishing since forever.

finally, projects are coming to end this coming week.
one last submission this coming tuesday and one last presentation..
and one last lab test.
exams are coming.
then the motherfucking holidays.

come on. give it to me baby.

sometimes, I get so sick of having to explain.
I am so fucking pissed, I need to slap someone.

lets start a revolution.
school has been a total bitch.
I've officially mutated into a panic-freak.
assignments, assignment.. tell me, should you fuck off already?

regardless of how angry I am at the school or the assignments,
I've decided that I should just give my best.
well, actually I decided on this long ago.
not that I had a choice.

the week starts again tomorrow.
the thought of it gives me the creeps.
I'm so so so so so x10000000 tired.

time for shower.
bon nuit.

I'm an eagle

I've always been with you.
always been there..

today, I had the whole afternoon to myself.
I got my well-deserved sleep and I spent some time reading and surfing the net.
school's really tiring and stressful. assignments are really a pain in the ass.
the school's giving us too much to do. due dates after due dates.
I don't even have time to trim my eye brows.

life's been bland.
thats why my entries are about nothing lately.

uh-huh.. tell me, what's there to do?
I'd do anything to feel alive again.

I'm a revolutionist.
I have a lab test in another 6 hours

and I haven't studied one bit.

I'm so fucking screwed.

shit.

I see you in my dreams.
everynight.

I wish the weekend never come to an end.

我要首先讲声　我走
还是爱到你说　请你走

SCREAM. you know you want to.

I spend the whole day doing my assignment yesterday.
and finished everything only at 6am this morning.
the amount of stress that I faced was too much.
my eyes felt like they were going to pop.
after completing my assignment, I went to sleep and woke up at 7.30 for school.
fuck. imagine going to school at 10-12 and doing assignment till 6am and waking up an hour later for yet another day of school.

today was boring.

life-less.

fuck.
I'm so fucking bored.
and I'm sooooooo fucking tired.

fucking sian.

wake me up.


Now I understand. When you are young, when bad things happen, you can blame people around, you can blame your parents, your surroundings, you can even blame god. It's never your fault, you were young and had no power. But when you are an adult, and bad things happen to you.

I only can blame myself. " Did I do my best?"

so tonight, I can't go to bed.
all because I was to0 slack.
I swear this' not going to happen again.
I FUCKING SWEAR.

shiny disco balls.

I woke up at 10am on friday, went to school until 6pm.
after school, I went out with the usual clique until 4am.
and I stayed awake. at 10am, I went to meet my baby and winkeng to go swiming.
and after swimming, I went to do my assignment with my groupmates until 11pm.
and at 12mn, I went to zouk and danced like a machine.
no sleep.
I got home at 4 something this morning and slept until 12.

and I'm going to do my assignment soon and meet the bros.
we're going to pasir ris park to fly kite together.

lets live the weekend to the fullest.

Sex and Money take it

pictures from yesterday

hi there, its been a long day.
I just got home from movie about at hour ago.
friday night is gone. hello saturday.
I'm going swimming later. I need a workout real bad(minus the tan).
this week has been hectic. lack of sleep.
project kills me brain cells. but I shall overcome.
so yes, I'm going to continue with my assignment.

bisou xx

Hello. I killed you in your dream.

I lost my freaking folder.

omg. WHERE THE FUCK IS MY FOLDER?!

my exam papers, lecture notes, omg! EVERYTHING IS IN IT!

:(

why?

today, I skipped all my lectures to sleep in with my baby.
and we slept the whole afternoon away.
I sleep better with him beside me.

what'd I do when my baby enlists?
life's going to be almost meaningless.

I'm going to miss you so much, baby.

I'll be there..
wherever you may be.

its been long since I blogged, comment allez-vous?
I've been busy with many things.
and I've been spending alot of money.
the xin wang hk kitchen is THE place to chill out at now.
I love it, love it, love it. and that's why I'm there almost everyday.

brandon gave the bros and I a dinner treat at a japanese restaurant. it was good.
I guess I've really been gone for too long, lost touch.. I seem to have lost the (blog)skill.
I can't generate things to say...

maybe because its late now -3:46am.
maybe because I don't like to blog nymore.

bonne nuit.

hello. been long since I blogged.
ca va bien?
the term break was great,
late nights and lots of activities.
and I learnt how to play command and conquer.

school started today and it was (argh!)tiring.
I couldn't get to sleep last night and slept only at 4am
because even at 3am, it felt like evening to me.
and thats because I fucked my body clock up by sleeping ar 8.30am everyday during the break.
so you know, I didn't get enough sleep and felt really reaaaaaaaaalllly sleepy.

I was in school from 10am to 9am.
and I finished my assignment and I'm all ready for my first submission for this month.
the following days are going to be hectic :(
I'll overcome.

ta.

People can question my choices, accuse me of things, but my real work and my integrity will [win] out

we made a few mistakes along our way.
mistakes that were grave, mistakes that took toll in our love.
we were so young when I fell in love with you.
and you were too young to understand that my love was true.
when people say they know how I feel, I know they do not exactly know
because who would have known better than you?
I don't expect a love that is magical,
I only want a love that is special and real.
and I've got that now and I'm grateful to you.
seven years, I've known you and I never regretted loving you the way I do.
no matter what they may say, nothing can ever change my love for you.
and no matter what they kind of ways they may resort to make me lose faith in you,
we know they will never succeed.
our love is built by fighting hard and perservering through obstacles and hardship, it is matured and strong.
we do not need to convince anyone how deep and true our love for each other is because its only between the both of us.
for every past mistakes you've made, I forgive you because I know that you forgave my mistakes too.
one day, we're going to get married and lead a blissful life and its still going to be about the both of us.
so there's really no need for us to answer to anyone about what happened or whats going to happen for us.

baby, I vow to love you for as long as we may live.
and I hope that you have faith in me too.

going somewhere else.

I'm stronger than what you think.


I have been thinking the whole evening, about what was written.
it certainly made an impact on my feelings and it didn't feel good at all.
I know the ulterior motive of the person who said those things was to hurt me or destroy the relationship I have with my boyfriend, or both. she certainly have achieved that.
okay, take it as my boyfriend really did that to connie.
and take it as you're doing me a favour by telling me the truth.
sorry connie,
and thank you stranger.
by telling me that my boyfriend fingered connie at pasir ris park does not only hurt me but also, hurt connie. you are ruining her reputation.
I'm sure she was willing to let him do it to her, right? then, doesn't it make her sound cheap?
or are you suggesting that connie doesn't mind.

the love my boyfriend and I share is true.
it won't be shaken by comments from unknown people.
connie was with him before, and it has already passed.
now, he's back with me and he loves me with all his heart.
you may give judgement about his love but who knows better than myself?
after a lot of thinking, I realised how silly I was to be sad over your comment.
because I have no reason to believe you.

if you call her darling then you really shouldn't say this in public.
if you're her friend, you should protect her.
so please, if you have issues, you can come to me directly.
or I believe if connie wants me to know about his "dirty secret" with her, she'll tell me herself.

anyway, I know your disgusting secret too :)
because my boyfriend lives with me.
I see him every morning, everyday and we're together no matter where we are.
if he really was at pasir ris park, fingering her, I should be there witnessing it.


a real relationship is trusting and long-loving.
its understanding and forgiving.
it not a game.
gettit?

my knee hurts.
and I'm sleepy.

on a rainy day like this.

party.
that's the way it should be.

we went to phuture and it was so damn crowded, we couldn't even move.
everyone was pushing everyone.
so we left for mos.
the atmosphere there was better.
house music, but all good.
since I love house too :)
damned, the one more week left before school starts!
I have TONNES of assignment undone.
I've been partying and slacking so much that I didn't have time to even read the assignment.
ah well, I'm sure that I'm going to do it soon.
right, I just watch fantastic four just now.
the silver surfer's a great guy ;)
anticipated movie. nice.
the weather's been very warm and its driving me insane,
and so is the electricity bill is going to drive my mom =X
friday! its party day!
am I really going to party again?

knighty bought 2 pints of icecream for me -my fav and his.
we went to watch ocean's 13 just now and I think its a good show.
I'm going on a shopping date with linda tomorrow.
she has been asking me out so many times :)
I had a great day today.
the weather's not as hot as yesterday too.

k night.

tonight, I sleep in your arms.
won't you hug me tight and dream with me.

today's the first monday of the term break.
didn't have much to do but still had a great day anyways :)
I stayed at home the whole day, surfed the net, finish watching my anime series and made salad for my baby.
and I went out only to slack with my boyfriend and bros, and smoked like a train.
cus we went veggie shopping a few days back and bought a lot of yummy juicy vegetables.
I skipped gym session today because I was too lazy.
so knighty and winkeng went ahead.
I haven't watch movie for like 2 weeks? feels like damn long ago since I last watched a movie!
so I got to watch one tomorrow. else, I won't be able to hold the title of a movie junkie anymore.

alright.
since my baby is already sleeping, I should join him already.

good night!

fallen from grace.
I'm no longer that angel in your eyes.

remember the past.
live in it. its where I do not exist.

and I wonder why did all those things happen to me.
I, who least deserve it all have to go through it all.
I know I'm not alone but I feel very much like I am.
all the time, I wished it didn't happen.
then maybe we'd be happier.
but then again, we may never be any happier.
its become part of me, this memory.

sorry but I'm never gonna be myself, ever.
because I'm still in someone's shadow.
someone who's not really better than me, but somehow, is better.

Etoile

3 more to go.

I'm really deprived from shopping.

four more days..

I'm really deprived from shopping.

Happy Birthday

I didn't study today because I felt really unwell this morning.
and today was my grandmother's birthday celebration.
the chocolate fudge cake was very nice but sinful -I had 3(!) slices, omg.



my favourite niece.
my notorious nephew who drinks alot of coke.
and I made a collage of the pictures we took during azfar's birthday house party last night.
last night was great.
great food and lots of liqour.
I really had alot of fun and I'm sure everyone else did.
we just didn't like the presence of ______(fill it up!).

I should sleep now.

I can't believe I went to play cs just now despite knowing that I don't know much about the subject I'm gonna sit for tomorrow! I'm unforgivable.

diet tomorrow.

sleep now.

I spent the whole day doing the mosiac yesterday at mcCafe.
fortunately, my baby helped me with it.
we smoked there, dined there, talked there, drank there, ate there and we nearly freeze to death there.
then we went to club with the the bros at velvet dragon at about 11 and played cs after that.
after we got home from cs at 5, my boyfriend initiated to help me complete the mosiac.
so he stayed up until 8.30 this morning.
if its not for him, I'll not be able to submit it on time this morning because I overslept.
so poor baby only had 2 hours of sleep today :(
he did this for me because he wants me to have the energy to pay attention in class and have energy to study today. so I'm not going to let his effort go into waste, I'm going to study soon.
I'm just gonna take a long refreshing bath first before going to mcCafe to meet zhengyee to study together.

till then.


I love you, baby boy.
and that's enough said, right?
because no one understands us since this love is only between the both of us.

good morning.
I almost forget that I went to the food fair yesterday evening with 3 of my friends.
it was crowded with many aunties and uncles. all excited about the free samples and cheap deals. then I met my dad at and he gave me a dinner treat.
I bought eclairs and cakes and I intend to bring it to azfar's birthday party.
liqour and cakes, yum.

I have to finish my mosiac because submission's on this coming friday.
I have to study because I don't wanna fail anything.
I have to bring my dog to the vet for her vaccination.

yawn.

see, when you're alone at home with almost nothing (interesting) to do,
you end up thinking about many random things.
like me, I'm starting to imagine my life after my boyfriend enlists into the army.
I have tried so many times to divert my thoughts to something happier and telling myself that we still have five months.
but now, we're left with only four.
life's going to be lonely and difficult without my pillar of support. no one will be there to hug me to sleep and no one's gonna kiss me in the morning.
No one can replace the position of this wonderful boyfriend, no one ever will. because he is different. he gives me everything I need, he loves me like no other.
I miss him so much. without him, nothing is interesting. without him, I can do nothing.
because I need him to be with me, to support me.
I am gonna miss you so much, baby boy.
its beyond description. this feeling I get everything I think about it.

I'm all alone at home.

so quiet.

everyday.

I hate tuedays leh!
hello there.
its monday.
tomorrow's tueday.
gonna be in school from 8 to 6 with only one hour break.

mega pout.

nails and food



I had dinner at sizzler with my baby just now.
I am still crazily in love with their salad bar.
although the day was short, it was awesome.
too bad there was no show for Bridge to Terabithia at engwah today,
else we'd have watch it today!
its really late now.. well not really.. but I need to sleep already.
school starts at 9 tomorrow and I need to refrain from taking naps this week cus I want to study for the term test and finish my mosiac by this friday.
its going to be awful if I don't get enough sleep and feel tired and create a vicious cycle.
I would not want that.
so, yes..
good night.