Fought alot of OT "wars" recently.
Seems like I keep getting stuck in there.

Last friday, I participated in 4 OT cases once I finished my endoscopy ones.
All 4 within a span of 3hours plus. Crazy.
And sunday was even better. I went in to the theatre around 3plus pm and only came out at nearly 9pm! And it was for one case.
Today was no better.
I went in early at 430pm to help with the workload and only managed to get out around 9pm when my shift partner came in to relieve me.
If I had my way, I would stay inside and clear the cases... "send send!!! II cases one by one!" Haha.

I think i'm getting "high" doing trauma OT cases.
Even my in-charge was surprised in the change in me.
But he says its good.
I think its not leh... more like getting more workaholic.
Perhaps changes in life's perspective? I don't know.
I feel quite different already. I have no idea why.


Oooooo...my brother thinks the chocolate cake i made last time was good... such that he wants to learn from me and make one for his friends' bdays!
yeah.. BDAYS. 3 of them.
I told him it was probably by luck one.
Cos the recipe i followed... the end results posted online didn't look like the one i made!
And i anyhow wrack for the chocolate glaze topping...didn't follow the given recipe. Just try whatever looked like it'll work. Hahaa.
Hopefully it'll work this time. =P
I told him i wont have alot of time to teach him cos of my work and studies.
Cannot disturb me when i'm not free. Hahaaa

Anyways, my brother's graduation on 28th August! I'm going down to see!
Think my dad's gonna go too.
=)
I'm working two night shifts on 27th and 28th. Hopefully i can ask for some change in roster. Sigh... or else i'd be sleeping throughout his grad! =(


Oh.. i'm putting my UK trip blogging on hold again. I know i know.. very long liao.
I'm breaking it into 3 parts.
Meanwhile I'm really crammed up these few months due to my studies(physics&maths!! argghhh!) and possibly some presentation thingy for work...

Ok.. i need some more sleep.
Oh...and welcome back fi! our evil bear! =)

Spent alot of time shrinking pictures for the blogging of my UK trip yday.
I think i have like 100+ pictures?
And that's picked out of i forgot how many hundreds of photos i took. And excluding videos.
Managed to get started with the post and uploaded over 20 pictures and annotating them before i gave up. Haha.

Back to my studies... been working at the first book!
I have like... 8...


I'm just tired...

Then again... i haven't slept so soundly before. Perhaps its due to the mental exhaustion.
I just want to rest my brains...

Yawnz... working shift again next week.

Disappeared from blogging for awhile...all thanks to work and studies.
My coursework arrived a month ago and i've been trying to study and work shift at the same time.
Its been real tiring. I knocked out even faster than when i was in manchester!
I think Fare would be very shocked to hear that. Haha.
Cos i knocked out on her comfy bed every night within like 5mins.
Now even faster! I don't even have the time to climb on to bed!
I just slept on the floor with my books & notes as my pillow.

I don't even come online that much anymore. Maybe checking mails occasionally if i have time during work.
Yawnz...
So far work has been good. Its busy and can get really crazy. But its all good.
Met more new colleagues today.
I think we have like 5-6 new ones in total for the past 1-2months.
Its good in a way cos we don't have to struggle so much like last time but still working our asses off.

I think my brain is shutting off soon. I better stop blogging before i use my laptop as my pillow. Haha.

Nightz!

For those who have done anything for me during this two weeks, you know who you are.
I'd say I'm touched to the point where I could cry.
Tears of joy. =)
Knowing is one thing, experiencing it Is another.
Thanks for believing in me and for loving me! =D

I'm really happy.
I don't know where this is coming from though.
HE has His own ways of making things work.
All I can say is i'm grateful.

=)

Now now... back to whinings of work!
Actually... not much whinings! Haha.
Its tiring to do 4nights in a week.. but i'm doing fine.
I guess its my addiction kicking in again.
After two weeks of holidays, my hands are itching to do x-rays again. Heh.
Yeah... i'd be "scolded" by people again for being a workaholic.
I have a nagger whom i call grandma, constantly nags at me not to overwork.
I think one is enough liao. heh.

I love working nights with tohko and aunty tess. =)

I know I've been blogging alot lately.
I'm still doing the UK trip blog :p
Still in the works.

I guess its an outlet to release things lately.
I'm back into the chaotic world and as much as I do miss the peaceful two weeks of holidays I had, i think a little "chaoticness" is somewhat necessary in life.

I spent my off days hanging out with good friends and we had alot of interesting discussions.
Reached home at like 5am last night and my dad even msged to say he's going to sleep and not waiting up for me liao. heh~
I'm doing really good now, but sometimes, you know.. when you're alone, you would sometimes think about some events that made you unhappy.
I guess its pretty natural to do that at times.
What i came to realise is that, when any unpleasant event happens, those who still stood by you, are really the ones who loved you for who you are. Love without expiry date - like in the story I wrote earlier.


=)

Fate.
What is it?
Some people might say its another name for coincidence.
Some might say its the works of heaven.
But how many coincidences can happen in your life?

Belle wanted to be a doctor.
Her results were good but she did not take the subjects that allowed her to go that path. She did not know.
She fought hard for it.
But the fact remains as it is.
She accepted it and wanted to be a teacher.
But in a twist of fate, she could not be one.
She cried.
Daddy told her she would find something else that she loves even more.
Because fate has its plans for her.
Something better than what she wanted.

One day, while browsing through the courses she could take.
She found something that seems interesting to her.
Not sure where it would lead her, she followed her gut feeling and took the plunge. Throughout the school years, with its ups and downs.
But she was happy.
When she graduated and found a job.
She realised she has found her dream job.
Something that everyone had always been striving for but could never reach.
But she got it.

It was not a highly paid job.
Nor it was easy to do.
In fact, it was tough.

But what is it that makes it so hard to achieve?
That everyone is looking for but could not get?

It is the passion and the love for it.
Doing something that you really loved.
It may seem really simple but it makes alot of difference.

As much as we undermine the powers of love, we cannot deny the fact that it is what keeps us going.
When you had a bad day at work, would you stop working at that moment?

Most people won't.
There are plenty of different reasons behind it.
For belle, it was the love of what she's doing, the love of her job.
But what about the rest?
Some do it for money, for they want to feed their family.
The love for their family keeps them going on.
Some do it because of responsibility, not wanting to pass on to others.
The love of others keeps them going.

Most of us do not realise that in alot of things we do, it is love that keeps us going.
That make us want to do it.

So if you do not believe in Fate, at least believe in love.
Think back on the times you did something even though you don't feel like it.
You may just find that you did it out of love.

It maybe a simple thing like going to see the doctor when you're sick.
It may seem that you're just going there to relieve yourself of the discomfort.
But you are doing it out of love.
The love of yourself.

When people do not love themselves anymore, they would not care if they are sick.
They would let themselves wilt away and die.


For me? I'm a believer of both.
Fate and love.
Fate that brought things together. Love that sustains things.

Labels: Inspirational stories

We broke our own record again!
8hrs of talking and i think 3-4 phone changes 'cos the phone went out of battery!
Haha.
I think we're better off using the traditional phones with cords. lol.
But thank you so much for the long talk.
It really made me feel so much better and happier despite the events that i'm facing right now.

And the messages that i get from my besties, i'd like to say i really appreciated them.
Thank you!
How can i ever do without you people!
There are people you know, you just know, will always be there for you, no matter what happens.
That's why I say, there are some things that you just can't replace.


Now I just can't wait to get started on my assignments and doing what I love at work.
I'd still continue to whine though Haha.

Tohko! Jia you ok!
I bought nice nice goodies to cheer you up.
I'd open my ears big big this fri and sat when we do night shifts together.
You can whine to me all you want!
=D

Have you ever bought something only to realise that it is past its expiry date?
Or have you kept something so long that it reaches its expiry date?
Many of us would naturally throw the things away.
For there's no use for it.

What about love?
Does it have an expiry date too?

When you have no use for a person, do you just throw them away?
When you have no more feelings for a person, do you just ignore them and let it fade at one corner?
When you get sick of a person, do you just chuck them aside into the bin?
Does that mean that the love had expired?


When he let go of belle's hand, she knew his love for him had expired.
He no longer feels the same as when they first started.

But daddy kept by her side.
Standing at one quiet corner.
Waiting to catch her when she falls.

Her best friends stood along beside her.
They had their hands on her shoulder to support her all throughout the years.


What makes love expire so quickly?
And what makes it last so infinitely?

Its a puzzle to alot of people.

When you start to love someone based on what you see, what you feel, what you perceived and what you expect. It expires quickly.
Because you based it on you.

When you start to love someone because of who she is, how she feels, how she is really like and what she does. Then it will last infinitely.
Because you loved the person simply because she is She.

Our perception on others may change as we get to know them better.
Thats when love starts to expire when you based on you.

But when you love someone for who that person is, even as your perception change as you grow older, your love for that someone remains.
Because you based it on the person.

Its easy to be selfish. To think of ourselves first before others.
We do need to love ourselves first before we could learn to love others.
But when you love yourself much more than you do for others, that's when selfishness comes in.
You'll find yourself being stubborn and closing your doors on them.
Even to the point of being insensitive and saying hurtful things without knowing.
Because you are too focused on you.
When loved ones tries to reach out to you, to salvage the expiring love, you think they are trying to invade your bubble.
You'll see things way differently from them.

But if you would try to step out and just view from their perspective for once.
You'll see the truth.
And you'd understand.
That's how you can extend the expiry date of love.

Its just a simple small step out.
But its often the hardest step.
People often do not want to make the first step because they're afraid they'll fall down from their high chair.
But little do they know, there's plenty of warm comfy hands waiting to catch them.

Its often a face issue that makes it difficult to make that first step out.
Stubbornness and ego too.
Don't be afraid.
For those who loved you, they accept you for who you are.


When belle was a teenager, she went through puberty.
She grew and became what she thought was ugly.
She hated herself.
She isolated herself from others because she didn't want to be seen around.
Because who would want to be with someone ugly like her?
Little did she knew her friends stuck by her.
Even throughout the isolation period.
When she realised, she came out, feeling embarrassed.
But her friends welcomed her with open arms and gave her a big hug.
Thats when she felt shes loved infinitely by them.
Because they loved her because of her, not how they see her.


When he let go of belle's hand, he felt it was the right thing to do.
He felt annoyed whenever belle tried to reach out to him.
When belle tried to talk to him, he brushes her aside.
When belle expresses how she felt, he thinks shes simply emotional.
When belle wanted to know how he felt, he doesn't have any feelings to say.
Because that would meant that he is emotional.
When belle wanted to know something, he kept silence.
Because he thinks that its a waste of time to answer.
When belle cried, he does nothing.
Because he thinks shes simply emotional and if he does anything it would make it worse.
Little does he know that he is seeing things differently, he is already in his own bubble, shutting his door at her.
If only he could drop down his ego and stubbornness, and step out, then probably he'll realise that all she did was to reach out to him, to extend the expiring love they had.
For he loved her based on him. Not her.



It ain't easy to love someone based on them.
We often see things from our side.
But it is not impossible.
It just takes a little more effort.
We need to let each other know.
Just so that we could to step into their shoes for awhile.
Love them for who they are.
Just like we want others to love us for who we are.

Labels: Inspirational stories

Yes. I wrote everything except the one quoted in dark blue.
Being away from all these chaos that i'm facing especially at work made me see things at a new perspective.
Made me think more clearly.
There are always new things happening every moment.
But its really how we handle it that makes the difference.
There are some events that made me more mature, that made me learn new life lessons.

But no, I haven't had a major drastic change after the trip.
I am still essentially me.
I'd still continue to whine about work and other stuffs just like tohko. =)
We will still continue to whine to each other at work hehee.

I just feel inspired enough to churn out those stories.
Those stories with meanings that held true to my heart.
And tells of lessons that I've learnt and believed in.
Lets just see how long my "inspiration" can go on. Haha.

Quoted from Journal Of Life by Anntonnii.
"There was once a story I’ve read on the net that tells the story of a workaholic father and his young son. The son would ask money from his father everyday and his father would give him all the spare change that he had left.

Every time the boy received the money, he would become very happy and hide in his room for a long period. After a while, his father became curious on his son’s intentions.

“Surely a young boy like him doesn’t need so much money. Is he hiding something from me?”

The father tried to check on the boy’s room but could not find the money that he had kept.
He had the final draw when the boy asked him for $5 one day.

“You don’t need $5, what do you want $5 for?”

His son just smiled at him and rose out his hand.

“How can you ask for so much money at such a young age! What is it that you are hiding? Don’t you know the value of money? Don’t you know how hard I’m working outside to earn the dollar?” The father finally couldn’t endure any longer and gave his son a tight slap on his cheeks.

The boy was shocked and ran back to his room crying.

Guilt ran over the father as he slowly opened the door to his son’s room. His son was hiding under his blanket as gentle cries could still be heard.

“I’m sorry son, I didn’t mean it… I’m just too frustrated at work. Here’s five dollars”
The father apologized and placed a five-dollar note on his bed.

The boy didn’t cried anymore as he happily picked up the note.
“Dad?”

“Yes son?”

“How much do you earn per day?”

“I earned a hundred a day. Why are you asking me this question?”
The father felt another rush of rage upon.

The boy smiled as he took out an old tin can and poured onto his bed.
Out from the tin can came out all the coins in varies value as the boy carefully did a final count.

With the five-dollar note in his hand, the boy let out a big smile.

“I have a hundred dollars with me Dad, can I employ you for a day so that you no need to go to work?”

The actual story could be more in depth or longer but I guess the meaning behind it is almost the same.

It’s unexplainable sometimes that we might do things that we might probably never do just to grab someone’s attention. It could be faking a tummy ache or flu just to feel the comfort that we received from the ones who cared.

Asking a person whether he or she needs a doctor doesn’t mean you cared although it’s a practical approach. If a person really needs a doctor, he or she would probably ask you to bring them.

It’s the little things that you do or say that show your concern and attention. A porridge cooked by you could be a better remedy than a doctor’s prescription sometimes."


I could remember the last time belle did a similar thing to her.
When belle was a toddler, she wanted her attention and love.
When belle once scalded her hand, she slowly and carefully applied medication for her.
Belle's heart felt warm.
But when she became busy and was not there for belle, there was nothing belle could do to catch her attention.
So belle did a silly thing.

At that young age, you think simple.
You do not think of the consequence.
Belle scalded her hand on purpose.
She just wanted to feel her mother's love once again.
But her mother just simply asked her to apply medication herself while she tended to her own things.
Belle was naturally hurt and disappointed.

Sometimes, we do things that hurt people. Sometimes without even realising it.
We only cared about the hurt casted upon ourselves and often not think about the hurt we had casted upon others.
But if you had the choice to know, to know that you've hurt someone, what would you have done?
1. Would you be hard hearted and not admit it?
2. Or would you find out why and make amendments?

Its a simple question but yet it shows alot about a person. How the person is and how much the other party meant to the person.
A question that everyone would know how to answer in their hearts.
An answer in everyone's heart which would tell them the truth.

What would be your truth?
For I know mine.
and I'm grateful to be loved by many.

Labels: Inspirational stories

When we were young, our hands are always held and guided by our parents.
But as we grow older, there's no longer someone there to hold our hands to walk with us.
Yes, our parents will still be there but they will no longer hold our hands to walk the pathway with us.
Because as we mature, we choose our own pathways.
Parents who truly love their children will naturally let their hands go.
They want their children to be happy.

Daddy would always save the best part of a certain food for belle.
He would always wait till she finished her meal before he ate his share.
For he wants to make sure that she had enough.

Although it may seem really little and insignificant, an act that's often overlooked, belle always remember it.
Belle always felt it in her heart.
Even though she might not say it out, but she feels very loved.


Sometimes, you do not need to say it out. But little actions like this, shows how much you love and care.
But there is a fine line between practical approach and an approach that is out of your heart.

When belle grew older, she found someone to hold her hand along the pathway she chose.
She thought that he would walk with her.
But one day he let her hand go.
She found herself at loss.
She had not expect this to happen so suddenly.
But when she think back, she knew why.

When she was sick, he told her to go to the doctor.
When she was upset, he asked her why.
When she told him, he gave her a solution.
When she cried for him, he kept silence.
When she needed him, he wasn't there as he was busy.

When she was sick, she did not want him to know.
For she does not want to let him worry.
When she wanted something, she would not ask him to get it.
For she did not want to trouble him.
When she cried alone, she secretly hope that he would not be feeling hurt too.
For she did not want him to be unhappy.
When she needed him, she didn't want to insist that he stayed with her.
For she did not want to disrupt his schedule.

But...
When shes sick, daddy would buy porridge for her, put water and medication by her bedside, cover her with blanket, check on her every few hours.
When she wanted something, daddy would not speak a word but secretly put the thing on her table the next day.
When she cried, daddy kept silence, put a pillow on his lap and let her head rest on it while she bawled out.
When she needed him, daddy would be the first to be there and would insist to stay on no matter how she tried to push him away.


Anyone would have seen the difference.
What really is love and what really is not.
You know its love when it comes out of your heart and not your brain.
As much as we have our own family arguments, or even little petty tiffs.
Eventually, home is a place where you know that you're truly loved.
A place where you can fall back upon.
Where people would not turn against you.
Where you feel that you can still trust and be secure.
Where they won't abandon you.

But how many of us actually do cherish every moment we spent with our family?
We often take things for granted.
Even at the edge of losing them, we do not even care.
Its only when we have lost them, that we feel something tugging at our hearts.

Remember to cherish what you have now. Everything and anything.
For its not easy for people to learn to love you, just like its not easy for you to learn to love them back.
Its easy to complain but at the end of the day, when you know that everything they do is out of love and concern for you, you'd understand.

I guess we have to take a step back and be appreciative.
I used to complain so much about work.
But for those who know me well, that's just me being whiny.
heh.
Who would give up something that they loved so much so easily?
I really do love what I do.
=)

Labels: Inspirational stories

Yeah!
Had a wonderful trip!
Had some jetlag though. I fell asleep at 10am SG time...cos that's like in the middle of the night in Manchester.
My skin broke out a little from the different weather there.. eeeks. Better stay at home now Haha.
And its like a gain weight trip hehehee.. all that junk food there...
Plus all the hagen daz fare bought for me, the nasi lemak, the green curry, the sambal ikan billis and not forgetting my BALTI MIX! LOL.. damn nice.. im still eating right now haha
I guess when you're really happy and relaxed you'd eat more! HAHA.
Mr jiggly just gotten bigger :P

Photos have to wait abit though.
Got a few hundred of it.. heh~ The uploading process to my comp took freakingly long...
I need to sort out the pictures and shrink them for blogging..so pls be patient with me ok.
And the process of blogging the trip, uploading onto hosting site...etc.. its time consuming.
I think it wont be out till next week or later.
Furthermore, i'm doing whole week of night shift pattern next wk!
Gahhh...
This week probably can't do much lar... gotta meet up with friends again... and celebrate jieli's birthday! Its belated cos of my trip lar. Sorry sweetie.


Fare!!
I missed you too!!
But i'm glad we had the talk at departure area. At least i can entertain you with my nonsense talk and crap. Made you laugh alot before i leave you to the igloo that you live in. Haha.
This is a reply to your touching blog entry =)

1) Your hyperactive nonsense i had to put up with...?! come on... thats ENTERTAINMENT sia! WAHAHA.

2) Mediocore, if not lousy cooking? Oh pls... I won't eat it if its lousy!

3) Vulgarities part.. hmmm.. oh.. yours is harmless one lar... you haven't heard me when i'm angry at work. HAHA OOPS! :P

4) Honesty... i didn't drive you there... you went there yourself. I think we all have alot of issues that we cannot solve. But if you believe in something, truly believe, i think you should go all the way to it. =) We cannot push people to walk a certain path, only you yourself can walk towards it because you will be the one going through the path, not us. =)

Now my turn...
Thanks for putting me up at your place for this past 7days,
Making food for me,
Walking with me when i lost my bus pass,
Tolerating my symphony at night,
My random crazyness especially at night just before i fall asleep,
Bringing me around, being my tour guide,
Sharing your hagen daz ice creams with me,
Willing to talk all sorts of topics with me till late night.
Thanks!!
This is like the first time i'm so relaxed and happy in months!
No amount of money can buy this kind of happiness and company.
I'd say, my money is well spent for this trip. No regrets at all.


take care! And jia you for your thesis! =D


p.s: just wait awhile for the pictures ok... cos long uploading process and i need to zip it and upload to the webbie before it can reach you. =)

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