Friday, February 29, 2008
recess week has come to an end.
achieved absolute nothingness in the case of studies. have yet to start on studying for my quiz, yet to even make headway into my stack of readings.have yet. have yet.
during the week-filled of training. managed to squeeze in two outings on my two free days!!! yippie. though both were rather pathetic. one being a brief round of shopping with my sis. (eerrrr.. big deal) and the next one being the temasek hall's dance production squeezed in after my bout of tuition. MANAGED TO DRESS UP FOR BOTH THOUGH!!! yippie. finally get to wear heels. though it wasnt much of a heels rather is wedges. but oh wells. beggars cant be choosers.haha. satisfied. dressed up real girl too!! dress dress!! yl sawme on both days and said i became more girl. -.-gee. that's coming from THE one who forever sees how I dress in school, in hall -.- gee.
wore a puke-inducing belt today. lol. ok fine. not puke-inducing. waist belt or something. -.- puke-inducing. haha. wore that just so can show off my barely-visible boobs. my boobs getting smaller seriously. ok this is getting rather censored. oh wells. small boobs. no can do.
temasek hall's dance production was nice. real enjoyable. though the site. tsktsk. super gross. -.- its at nus BUKIT TIMAH CAMPUS! like WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT!?!? sheesh. then ar. its so fucking ulu-ated! i mean like we took like 2 frigging cabs before we could get there and that being getting turned down. TURNED DOWN FOR GOD'S SAKE by another cab driver cus he didnt know where it is!!! SHEESH. uluated to the ult can? ge...
ok. im calm cool and collected. ntu's wayyy better even though its like at tuas and its at an island all by itself and wad's not. but still. i mean. at least cab drivers know how to get there and ntu students knows how to navigate around unlike nus peeps who also couldnt be much of a help to us. -.-
okok. tink cool. tink cool.
breathe.
anyways. temasek hall dance production. the concept, the choreographing was great. FABULOUS even. but then the performance itself. wasnt really THAT coordinated. regardless. niceeeee~~~ ^^ great great. thumbs up to the temasek hall peeps. =) nice looking people all around too*grins* nothing much though. teehee.
training's tough. WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH, THE TOUGH GETS GOING. ^^ gambade!!! lol. tiring but satisfying la. real hope my rowing has improved though.*pray like fuck*
match's coming!!! 8th and 9th of march!!! lols. sigh realised really no hall life due to db. but. no regrets no regrets. ^^
ok dunno what to say le. sighs.
school's starting. sighs. back to old boring life soon. sianzation. :(
ohoh.
last few minutes of 29th feb le. wahaha. soon the day that comes once every four years will be gone le. the only day when a guy couldnt reject a girl's proposal is gonna be over soon. the one day that girls will propose to guys is running out soon!! chopchop han. think think. who are u gonna ask. wahahaha. NOBODY. that's the sad life of a loveless bitch.wahahaha. seriously. qs is like my fantasy. the dream, the one. its like the prince in a fantasy. perfect yet unattainable. wahahah. loveless once again.
i really wanna just go perform once more. go through all the hectic preparations (though thinking back i nv did experience ANY hectic preparations since the only performance i had was like. errrrr..... you know.) and stuff. and moSt importantly. FLOWERS!!!!bouquets and bouquets of it!!! IM A SUCKER FOR FLOWERS. seriously. wahahaha. ok.
time's running out.
in 5...
4...
3....
2....
1.....
that's it. byebye. myone and only chance for this four years to propose to a guy.. (ha like i ever would!)
Signing
off, zhuhan.
crapilicious. always crappy.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
was just looking through vids cus of db graduating snrs and stuff. then also like checking out some vids on youtube that i've favourited previously.
u noe what ppl say about joining sports camp-su and it being the best thing of ur life, u'll remember it forever and all thatcrap. guess it didnt apply to me. seriously. only started remembering all bout su after iewing vids on youtube bout it.. no special "awwww..." feeling whatsoever. oh wells.
on the other hand, was viewing the vids that mel loaned me for the vid thing we have to do for the graduating snrs in db. totally unrelated to me whatsoever. dun even know theppl there except those that came into ntu db later on which is like 2? so silly. but totally brought tears into my eyes and stuff. them talking all bout personal trainingstuff that i have no inkling about and yet felt so touched over it and all. not only that. mel loaned me 2 vids.- one personalised and the other one wasnt so much of a human touch kinda thing. BOTH brought tears into my eyes. goes to show which one plays a bigger larger huger part in my uni life so far.
was thinking. how nice would it be if jnrs would do that forme. but that would mean being in db still when im graduating. tt's like in 3++ years' time. really a long time it is come to think bout it. gee dunnoe is my endurance,determination, passion and what's not willbe ableto last thatlong not. sighs.
been training for the last four days. 4 days combo!! haha finally over. at last a long-awaited 1 day break. which i am unable to sleep in due to some. urgh. hall stuff. silly silly.
went out on mon with chuse. long overdued meetup it was. had a great time sitting at the stairs and just talked. kinda felt abit like the old times. though dinner was crap. a totalwaste of $$$ sighs.
today after training had a yearning to go gelare and eat 1/2 priced waffles. afterall its gonna increase price soon so chopchop ma. (im such a typical kiasu singaporean sighs) so was thinking like to what extent is my desperation. am i that desperate to start asking ppl out like out of the blue? but luckily hanifah jioed me out. so like i went. sat and talked. shouzi was there. caught up qte a bit and kinda got myself a job back there again. but not sure still. cus training and stuff. timing clashes. sighs.
oh wells. this recess break in a way is qte slack for me cus i dun really have much of a thing to do other than readings and stuff but tt's normal. comparatively.
desperate to go out.movie, shopping cycling whatever. but realised my time qte packed in the no-life way. but on the other hand was kinda having this life-revelation moment not toolong ago and was thinking how subjective "life"is. like how i would think i have no life but others thinking i keep going out (training) that i have a life and whatsnot. yea food for thought.
ok really random now. time to go bed cus tml another wake up early day. (god i hope i can wake up in time.. ) sighs....
Signing
off, zhuhan.
crapilicious. always crappy.
Friday, February 22, 2008
just to inform u guys out there...
I DID IT IN 12.29!!!!CAN U BEAT THAT?! haha actually i tink anyone can. as long as they train enough. haha. but yea. so happy. gosh. lol. and the funniest thing is that i was the 16th runner. (not so good actually. putting it this way..) and for the first 15 runners, their timing wasnt being clocked. but mine is!!! cus only started clocking (due to some screw ups in the stop watch thingy) then just nice i reach.. how... lucky of me. got my timing. ^^
what can i say. hmmm.. just that thanks to all the peeps out there for ur faith and confidence in me. especially to alex, lixian, wanxian, jo, jiayi, jane, BUDDY-fel, gekling, crystal, jiayi.. actually most of the db team. haha as long as those that ive complained to, they'll be like.. u can one la. guess im the only one that has no confidence in myself. wahahaha. low self-esteem. thanks for the support though even though i wasnt much of a gracious receiver of compliments at that pt of time (before the run).
apparently, i just realised people do read my blog. ha. oh wells. how would i noe right? i mean.. u guys didnt exactly make urself be known to me. haha. so yea.. thanks to jo and jiayi for the green tea latte and the bagel and the concern!!!! ^^
this cuming week's gonna be hectic. (have i already said it?) oh wells. apparently friday i have tuition with my cousins, at night there's night cycling (which i highly doubt i'll go so i'll basically waste like 12 bucks or more? any takers?). sat there training, sunday training, monday, handing in of assignment (HAVE TO COME ALL THE WAY TO SCH TO DO IT!!!) plus training plus chuse outing, tues training, wed tentatively nothing, thurs double training, friday nothing, sat mix training, sun training. wad an eventful recess week i have. geee....not that im complaining though. but also not that im NOT complaining. its just. oh wells.. plain apathetic acceptance. yes that's it i guess. i mean without the training not like my days are gonna be fun-filled and busy and stuff.. haha. guess at least im grateful for having SOMETHING. lols.
GOING HOME!!! YEAY!!!
im hooked onto viwawa.
its 5 plus hours into friday morning and i have tuition. greats. wun even have the strength to go for night cycling even if i want to. geee... and with training after. sighh.. cycling. what a long lost hobby. nostalgia~
fuck crazy my life now. in a way. sorta keep having the feeling that its like increasingly getting out of control. that i have no idea what im doing and all. that sorta weird feeling? geee. sigh. psychology, anyone?
stuff on my mind but dunnoe what are they. crazy-ness. sigh.
oh wells enough of meaningless ramblings. u guys reading would've and should've been out of ur mind by now thinking "what the fuck is zhuhan writing about? " gee.
shall just not prolong ur torture anymore. ciao babes~ thanks again. ^^
Signing
off, zhuhan.
crapilicious. always crappy.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
was just tinking....
how much i would give to have a day free of worries. to be once again at the beach sitting on the breakwaters without a single worry coursing through my mind. to just sit there in my own world with my frens. not a single word being exchanged. yet leaving with the feeling that i had the bestest time of my life.
how i would give to spend one day with someone just cycling all the way to changi again. chiong all the way there. jokes and laughter. silent in our own thoughts. not a single complaint through. a smooth journey through and through.
how i would give to just to be able to cry it all out. all my worries. all my troubles. everything. concious or unconcious. just cry it all out. one good cry. through and loud.just cry like fuck.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
i tink i would really cry if i cant hit 13.30 tml. i would really cry. dunot why. just feel that everything hinges upon it. though i didnt train much. at all in fact. just hope that i can. as a proof to myself and the rest. i would cry i really would. please just let me hit below 13.30. please. all the trainings and endurance that ive been through. hope its enough to pull me through it.
i hope and wish with all my heart. let me hit below 13.30. below 13.30
below 13.30
below 13.30
please god. please.
i wouldnt be able to bear the overwhelming disappointment if otherwise. even though its only me. that if i didnt hit below i can just go for retake. but it really hinges on a lot for me. please. its not so simple for me.
i will cry. i know i will.
if only its over then i wouldnt have to go through all this prolonged torture.
13.30.
fuckgod. please.
Signing
off, zhuhan.
crapilicious. always crappy.
i dont want tml to come.
revelation of the awful truth.
im scared
fucked stressed.
13.30 13.30 is it that hard? hope not.
fuck stressed.
dreading tml.
dreading the passing of time. fuck shit.
Signing
off, zhuhan.
crapilicious. always crappy.
please god. justlet me do it within 13.30. please oh dear god please.
Signing
off, zhuhan.
crapilicious. always crappy.
this week has been really really hectic. since sunday. hadnt had much of a sleep. and it aint gonna improve till tml night. sighs. oh wells.
sunday night was spent rushing out 2 assignments. monday night was spent reading my readings which i did the summary on tues night. tues training was crazy. fugging crazy. static and wadsnot. but oh wells. training endurance this time round. shagged. after training went for project meeting at yusuf's room then we went ahfang for dinner/supper after which came back hall and chionged out assignment. tonight. will be spend doing my readings and answering qns tt are due tml. training tml. running 2.4km have to be below 13.30. freak scared. sigh. really hope i can make it sia. damn scared. dieeee...
this week's been a crazy week. sigh. not like recess week is gonna get much better. sigh. crap shit.
crap now i feel like going groceries shopping. sigh. oh well. destress before chionging again. and have to stock up on munchies for tonight.
living on caffaine.
freak unhealthy.
tt's me :(
Signing
off, zhuhan.
crapilicious. always crappy.
Friday, February 15, 2008
tis year's vday was the first one that i had since like sec 2 that i nv celebrated..
in the sense of like gift-exchange and all..lol. weird. abit. but ok la..
had a lonely hearts lonely lonely not lonely gathering with rani and joanna at joanna's hall. then was suppose to watch lust caution and horny horny tog one. but then due to some unfortunate circumstances. didnt. so rani wan to be emo then watched one litre of tears.
firstly the show's a LIAR! cus i tink i cried two litres or even more worth of tears.
apparently cried for 9 hours. all that 11 episodes. marathon~. tiring sia. cry until my jaw/cheek ache. didnt noe i could cry so loudly seriously. jo: DONT WATCH IT. it's killer. its the ult.
really wanna noe if the guy is for real not. damn sweet la. sighs.
ordered macs for dinner/supper. so am gonna grow fat. dang.
ohoh. saw this couple at the carpark of hall8 at like 12 plus am. shortly after vday. apparently. i guess. the girl broked up with the guy. and theguy clinged onto the girl. cried and rambled and stuff wadsnot. DAMN LONG. siao one.
i damn 38 i noe. hehe.
ohoh training. did fart legs. basically sprint 100m, jog 100m, sprint 100m, jog 100m. that's for 1 round round track.do that for 3 rounds continuously. dieded.
i tink jane's mad. to actually like fart legs. madness. totally had like aches everywhere today la can. grossified.
didnt sleep whole night. fucking high. talking gibberish. dang. tml's training early early im dead. and gone. ciao.
Signing
off, zhuhan.
crapilicious. always crappy.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
ok its been rather long since i've blogged. cny has come and gone. qte ok la not bad. this year so far yet to gamble... WITH MONEY. dang. this is a bad omen i'll bet. drank a lot though... qte happy with that fact. haha.
anyway sch started after the cny break. gee. been a mad rush ever since. and today's like wed early morning? sigh. apparently im taking a break. from studying. haha. qte long le this break im on. lols.
kt's such a great fren. introed me this online game. viwawa. now im hooked. i mean real cyber life daidee and mahjong. gee. who can resist? sigh.
realised this wholeweek's gonna be real busy. with all the dates and stuff. see monday nite went to celebrate jo's bday, tues night training, wed night going out with yl and val, thurs night training and dinner with db plus drowning sorrow session with a few of the soci mates, friday nite chuse outing, sat night s62 clique dinner. not that im complaining mind u. i mean how ridiculous it'ld be if i start complaining about having dates when not long ago i was complaining about NOT having dates ha.
ridiculous!!
had db louhei session today. lol. after training. ended up no pool session!!! sadded. :(
oh wells next next's week gonna be recess week. beforethat. MAD RUSH!!! siao one lor i tell u.
recently got this angsty feeling. also dunnoe why.it's like ive forgotten somethings or something. so weird. cant stand tt goddamn feeling. urghhh.. sigh.
imonefuckedupkid.really.
Signing
off, zhuhan.
crapilicious. always crappy.
Sunday, February 03, 2008
my life is really damn uber sad. i've realised after talking to ying.
firstly. on cny eve i have 1 freaking tutorial at 230-330. just one. bloody waste of time. contemplating about ponning. but. BUT. got assignment due. so unless i can finish it by tues. then impossible!! shyt.
secondly. on the mon after the long cny break. i have a freaking presentation. and i have to prepare summary handouts for the whole class kind. dead. yet to start on that reading yet summore.
thirdly. my cny clothes. only managed to buy one top for myself. the rest of the outfits have to rely on my sisters to help me gao tim. sadness. and that's after like spending the whole of sat afternoon and evening at bugis street, marina square and parkway. one top. that's all. fantastic. im really not a shopping person as u can see.
been dying to get a pair of heels this cny. ha. couldnt find any. dang. saw a nice pair at charles and keith. but then the colours avail. doesnt realy suit me. sadness. so din buy. damn.
cny has yet to begin and im already binge-ing on food. gourging my face with food. dang. so gonna get fat.
these few days training always ended up damn tiring. is it me. or is it the weather. or is it the training? sigh. oh wells.
mixed training the other day. qte funny. but damn scary. got like 2 alumnis beside me. and urm. 2 snr guys in front of me. fantastic. stress like hell. but qte funny listening to them talk. ok fine. i was eavesdropping. haha.
eye-candy. eye-candy.
saw weilun the other day. at parkway. working. haha. the fishing guy. he got cuter!!! haha. so cute. i like. then checked out my eyecandy at in-q-box (got the name right this time round le ba leong?!?!?!)
i love eye-candies!!!!*grins*
was talking to tianci the other day. but the diff leagues of ppl. then happenly on the same day later on talked to my sis bout clubbing and pubbing. made me realised things i knew but nv really got round to acknowledging. wow. enlightening day.
when can i fucking get my heels?!!?!? sobs. sadness. life in uni's really sad. no work, no income, no money, no life, no shopping. NOTHING!!! SOBS.
went to bedok after training today with my mother to do some last minute cny shopping. saw this damn cool thing which OBVIOUSLY I BOT. wahahah. GREEN TEA COOKIE!!!! lols. saw it then showed my mum. then she's like "aiyo. green tea. u'll sure wan buy one right?" lols. is it THAT obvious? my boundless love for green tea. opps.
Signing
off, zhuhan.
crapilicious. always crappy.
Friday, February 01, 2008
its times like this that i realy really really REALLY wanna fucking move out of the damn hall and just endure the torturous journey to and fro sch. its fuckin 4.27am in the fucking morning. i have fucking tuition tml.. (which i seriously considering to pass to my sis) and there's a fucking FLYING CROCKROACH in my FUCKING ROOM!! fuck sia. so im tonning the damn night watching the damn crockroach. and at least make sure it stays put where it is.. (fucking on top of my bloody closet) WHY AM I SO FUCKING SUAY!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?! sobs.
anyway at least at this unearthly hour. the whole fucking NORMAL world is asleep so at least no one's hoggingup the badwidth and thus i can watch bloody videos. cus if i do my readings. confirm plus chop sure sleep one. and my wonderful roomie.. just go sleep. but she got lessons tml la. sigh.
hall6 realy really REALLY sucked. all the fucking bugs... urghhh.. grossified. damn it.
and due to some illogical reasoning of mine. im wearing the bloody ntu windbreaker. to "protect" myself from the damn crockroach. and alex scared cold. so the damn fan speed is like 3?! damnit.
so stupid dmn ntu got some changes to the damn hall scheme..
now i have no idea wad to do. AGAIN. sucks. all this ridiculous stuff is like taking up space in my brain thus lesser space for e to absorb. shit.
I HATE CROCKROACHES!!!!! damn itdamnit!!! fuck fuck.
chinese new year's in like less than a week's time. yet to do my shopping. damn i dead. seriously. fuck.
this is rare, coming from me.
but i seriously hope sem 1 will be oversoon so i can leave this hall. damn it. urghhh...
okie... showtime... :(
Signing
off, zhuhan.
crapilicious. always crappy.
