i need to stop thinking about you, all the time.

it's the last week of 2011. the dramatic side of me wanted to say 'wow' but honestly, there isnt any thing worth exclaiming. the year's been pretty uneventful, which, is not too bad a thing since eventful can mean good or bad.

best things that happened this year:

-21st birthdays (friends, myself)
-HK trip
-keeping family and friends close and saving the best for the last,
-you

it's amazing how the heart priortizes itself, somehow, you're taking up a large portion. it hasnt been easy ut i shall have faith. and que sera, sera...right?

sometimes i really hate granting you the ability to affect my mood.

twenty second november, eleven thirty

please come safely, cannot take it anymore

Priorities

while you made yours clear, im trying to not make you mine. and it is a lot harder than i thought

Romance,

today, i found out why i like watching romance genre so much. besides the almost always guaranteed happy endings, they kinda restore the faith that love is great. and maybe just maybe, i will be lucky enough to feel what they feel too.

the truth sets you free,

indeed

A solo getaway..

would be nice. it may be seen as independence or loneliness. to me, it doesnt make any difference since i still feel alone even if i were surrounded by people. the mind can be such a powerful thing.

Turning Tables,

it sucks to be the one waiting.

blast from the past,

today may be the start of something, amongst countless uncertainties. for now, i shall leave it to faith and as the old saying goes, time will tell.

im bad with feelings. havent felt so vulnerable in a long time. never knew suppressing them could lead to the floodgate of tears.

better day tmr, i guess.

Oh Summer,

In the blink of an eye (hoho, what an overused phrase), summer's gone by. And in just 3 more days, I'll be back in school as a sophomore. Okay, more about that later!

All in all, I think my summer has been pretty fulfilling in the sense that I no longer spent it just on vacation job. Let's see the breakdown:

Mid Apr - Mid May: Completed one mod on Term 1A

June - Aug: Vacation job at WTA

It's definitely one of the toughest vacation jobs ever thanks to the demanding manager. Nonetheless, I also got to know a bunch of really great girls. Well worth the torture (I guess..)

4th - 8th July: Hong Kong!

Went with my TWC groupmates. it's great how we've grown close over the sem & even got to travel together. enjoyed the trip (minus the bidding nightmare) ((:

6th - 8th Aug: Journey Camp 2011

Rejoined as a facilitator. saw a lot of familiar faces and brought back the good old memories from last year (and wow, it's been a year). this year's camp wasnt as well carried out but overall, it was a good experience. and my freshies were great!

Now, plans for the new academic year/term:

1. Study friggin hard
2. Really get down to thinking what to major in & also career-wise
3. Finally join a CCA

Summer oh summer, you're dearly missed (already). Till then!

ever feel as if everyone's moving on with life and you're kinda stuck in a rut? welcome to my life.

then again, im not saying that mine's bad, oh well.

cant believe the first post of the summer will be one full of angst. then again, whats new?

sometimes i really dislike talking to my mum. everything comes back to one fucking topic - money. unfortunately, it's something that im lacking (no, honestly). she's always asking me to save and of course, i know the importance of it BUT whats there to friggin save when i dont even have income at all? okay, i do, if you call that miserable tuition takings an income. so she expects me to use whatever that i have/earn and not take any from her. i know im an adult and it's embarrassing to do so but do i have a choice? we're not living in the 60's where everything costs like, 50cents. and trust me, my allowance is PEANUTS compared to other pple (i didnt ask arnd but im pretty sure). im all defensive but i think i have a reason to be. im not trying to sound like a brat but many parents would love it for their children to study further but somehow i think my mum thinks otherwise. to her, everything's about money. and then there's traveling. i told her of my plans and she merely mentioned that i only ought to travel when i start work since money is an issue now. oh yeah, like it wouldnt be then.

honestly, i tried seeing things from her perspectives but no, i cant.  really, puzzling question of the year, how the fuck am i supposed to save? how? not as if i fucking dont want to. who wouldnt like some savings? and to whoever who's reading this now, lucky you.

keep calm and tumblr *breathes in and out*

<><><>

Your Soulmate is Protective

You can be a shy and quiet person, and sometimes doing things out in the world stresses you out. You need someone who will speak up for you and take care of you when times are tough. You don't mind being with a partner who likes to be in control, as long as your sweetie isn't controlling. Above all, your soulmate is confident and competent. You could never be attracted to someone who was immature!

What is Your Soulmate Like?

hmm, we'll have to see about that. (;

while at BVH today, i noticed the bed beside Mr Toh was empty. the worst case scenario flashed across my mind and it was confirmed when Mr Toh told us that the ah gong has passed away this afternoon. Although i dont even know him, i felt pangs of sadness. Pretty strong pangs, i would say. i am still feeling it now. On several ocassions, we exchanged eye contact. However, no words were spoken. i think he was too weak to hold a conversation but i could have tried. perhaps make his day a little better but i didnt. and i feel bad. i hope he's in a better place now, free from all the pain.

still, i wished i didnt hold back.

the rest are on fb. i think ive never loved someone this much before. call me pathetic but at least it's of the purest kind. he's an angel, at least to me. <3

Buried,

under the mountain of assignments, duhhh.

this realization came to me a few days back, it seems like i only have the freedom to be who i want to be when i were a kid and most importantly, nobody would judge me for that. i would be a kid afterall and it's kinda a good thing when nobody takes you seriously. you could actually just get out some color pencils and pretend to be da vinci for a day.

fast forward 15 years and i am constantly on my toes (okay, not really) trying to survive in school. or maybe, i just dont have the courage to be who i want to be or even scarier, i dont know who i want to be. whatever it is, you'll need some sort of money to support dreams so it all goes back to square one - study first, decide later.

but a part of me still questions, does it really work that way?

21st,

So i celebrated my 21st over the span of 3 days - not because of my ultra popularity but due to the fact that im kinda socially awkward. hehe

FAMILY (090111)

supposed to meet for brunch arnd noon but we only meet up arnd 4. we've so mastered the art of procrastination. had a round of pool at pomo before early dinner at stricly pancakes (which sucks) & then it was drinks at novotel.

i was really glad that all of them were able to be there cos initially cs had other dinner plans & lm wasnt feeling too good. but they still stayed throughout. thank you <3

p.s cant wait to celebrate lm's next! (Y)

NYPCD (150111)

hmm, it was a chilly & rainy evening. hahahaha. so everyone was kinda late except for yz & yl. settled at oomphatico's for dinner and im glad everyone liked it. then sofi had to report to work :( so the rest of us went over to starbucks at orchard parade hotel. had a great time camwhoring and laughing at the products of it.

you girls were the best things that happened in poly. <3

PCG & (Real) Family

it was buffet at quality hotel with my paternal family, maternal aunt & PCG. pity jacyln couldnt be there. anw, i had fun catching with with everyone and taking polaroids with them. really appreciate everyone's effort to make time to attend it.

p.s ive never expected (almost) all my paternal family members to attend and im really glad they did.

all in all, thank you for making my 21st a memorable one -one filled with love & laughter <3<3<3 once again, i thank God for every single one of you.

i dont know where to go from here. i hate how my emotions are so extreme and im getting tired of all these. but i dont want to keep reliving how great everything used to be so can i just go to sleep till everything's good again?

i chose the easier way out - the escape route.

hello to the 21 year old me. and im really glad it was spent with love from everyone. im truly blessed. i wanted to do a full update but im kinda drained so i shall do it soon.

to sum it up, i shall copy & paste my fb status:

A very big thank you to everyone who've sent your well wishes via the various means (text, facebook, twitter, call) & much ♥ to those who've made time to spend it with me. Love all the gifts & cards. Most importantly, i thank God for every single one of my family members & friends. Thank you for all the love, patience & tolerance. Thank you for being there ♥

have a good week everyone (:

time check: 1.51am. im still pretty energetic though.

first meetup with FAMILY for the new year to celebrate my (advance) 21st. first was PS/dhoby for pool, dinner at strictly pancakes and then novotel for drinks.

& of course, company was great. once again, thanks for the wrislet & the homemade card, loved them. anyway, what touched me the most was everyone's effort in spending today (& any other day when we do meet cos i know we're all busy with different stuff) with me. this is priceless and i really thank God for awesome friends.

shall scan in the polaroids soon so check out fb!

Attended Khrisha's 21st (also celebrating with her are 2 of her triplets siblings, how awesome is that?). Let me utilize my summary skills, the location was perfect, company was great, food & drinks were yum, birthday cake was out of the world & polaroids are <3! photos would be up on fb in a bit?

As seen, im doing the summary informally. Khrisha, thanks for hosting once again! (:

what i genuinely want for my 21st,

1) happiness & health (for my family & all my friends)

2) strength to tackle this sem

Day 9 & 10,

a quick one before i go for dinner!

Day 9: Two things you wish you could do.

ONE. get straight As

TWO. be a good daughter, friend


Day 10: One person you can trust.
 
ONE. my parents but if i really have to only pick one, then my mum.
 
p.s i finished this post in 2 mins (Y). hahaha

Day 8,

gonna spam the tumblr challenge cos school's starting and there goes my freedom. well, kinda.

Day 8: Three words you can’t go a day without using.

ONE. omg/OMG/O.M.G

yes, im a drama queen

TWO. what's for lunch/dinner

THREE. wth/wtf

depends on situation

Day 7,

Day 7: Four memories you won’t forget.
ONE. those countless weekend family trips to the zoo/mall

ive never talked about this before but my family has the zoo membership so it's almost a weekly hangout for us. my mum would basically pack lunch for us to bring there and we basically spent the whole afternoon there. and no, i havent gotten sick of it. despite getting :O from friends when i tell them, it remains as one of my favourite places in Singapore.

other than the zoo, we could go to malls or have lunch at my uncle's previous workplace. the cheese sandwich & potato salad were to die for. too bad it's ceased operations.

TWO. secondary school

best years of my life (so far). whats not to like about it? i think bwss is for awesome pple cos my friends so are ((:

there were the funeral, fire extinguisher, f&n burning microwave moments, to name a few. really, way too fun.

THREE. zoo trip with FAMILY after Os

not to be confused with (1) cos FAMILY here refers to one of my sec sch cliques. how we got close? i dont know. but im really glad we did.

FOUR. ethan's growth from a baby to a neat kid

i try to remember all the cute, funny, smart stuff he does or says because, childhoods are precious.

Day 5,

ive skipped 'Day 5: Six songs that you’re addicted to'

Day 6: Five things you can’t live without.

initally i wanted to list people but it says things so here goes!

ONE. food & beverage (lol).

d-u-h

TWO. umbrella

im an auntie, if you say so.

THREE. internet

think hotmail, facebook, twitter, tumblr, blogger, msn <3

FOUR. idk

FIVE. idk

will fill the last 2 in soon-ish

happy 2011 everyone!

"You know, all that really matters is that the people you love are happy and healthy. Everything else is just sprinkles on the sundae."


i really love this quote. it strings the words i wanna express beautifully.