Twisted.

im in a good mood now.

its a very quiet day. and i finally got some "me" time. i finished the book i borrowed the other day. super touching. all about letting go of the guilt & moving on.

awesome stuff.

the only thing that had to dampen my day was when dad asked if i was still in contact with kai. i just shook my head. at that instant, i lost my appetite. it sucks lying to them all the time. it sucks big time. but, ah well. nvm. :(

and right at this moment, the kuku is cheering me up. u always cheer me up la. heheeee, thank you. (: ur a vampire, yes u are. :P HAHAHA!

"sometimes, you can have a hundred different emotions running through you in a single moment"

i agree.

"I used to think that I was strong
Until the day it all went wrong
I think I need a miracle to make it through, yeah"

its the time of the night again
when i dont feel like myself.
and why is that?

Adam Sandler - Grow old with you

i remember that night

when you made me listen to this song

on your mp3.

hahas. :P

i know that was some time ago

but

it was just a good night (:

loved.

happy 18th to my best friend. (:

here's a post to this awesome girl;

who has been there when i needed her

who has been cheering me up with her lameness

who has been fulfilling my food cravings

HEHEHE.

here's to you, siuwen! :D

oh, and we like the colour black & white.

HAHAHA!

Yui - Tokyo

Today I have to leave this old room of mine.
I'm still unsure about this new journey.

On the bus ride to the train station,
I text-messaged my friends.

At the station I tried calling someone,
But something felt different about it all.
All I brought with me was an old guitar,
Leaving the rest of my old life behind.

I take something and I get something,
I ponder that cycle in my heart.

I always try to hide my fears in my dreams.
When i get afraid, I can't seem to do anything.

I got on the train, it rushed away,
And I slowly started to cry.

Life in my town continued on outside.
I prayed that it'd never change.
The man who gave me my old guitar
Told me Tokyo is a scary place.

I've stopped looking for all the answers.
It's okay to have some flaws.

Those grey skyscrapers blocked the setting sun.
Even if I endure these tears today,
Won't tomorrow's cold morning hold more doubt?

I can't choose the right thing,
At least I know that much

*

this awesome jap song.
i finally know what it means.
they way she sing it live,
says alot.

"broken, this fragile thing now"

i regret walking in the rain today.

cos i just sneezed reaaal loud. :x

pls dont let me get sick.
plsss.

dang it.

i try to be ok but its always the late nights/early mornings that gets to me. it seems to be the most challenging time of the day. cos you always seem so distant & i cant stop these wandering thoughts. i dont get it.

"all that has been said & done."

syg,

where

are

you?

bcos today is gonna be the day,

that i wont shed a single tear.

for the whole day.

since saturday.

i wont.

knowing that your parents found out abt ur bf clud be the best or the worst ting ever. mine? make a guess.

well, it was my worst fear coming alive right before my eyes. the parents found out the worst way, through the net. cut short, they werent the happiest ppl alive that night. the main thing they disliked was the fact that he was much older that i am. they assumed he has other intentions, they assumed he was like any other men who has only one thing on their mind. they didnt like alot of other things about him. but, i shall not disclose it. they were also worried abt my studies. like any other parents, i know.

but, the most hurtful thing they said was that they lost their trust in me. hearing those words, those mere words, just breaks me. cos im big on trusts and all. knowing that i lost their trust, my parents trust, is just heart wrenching. and, to gain back that very trust from them, is gonna be hard.

here comes the "best" part, im spose to severe all ties with him. if he wants to be with me, he has to wait till i graduate. thats what they said. i was crushed.

never had i been so confused, so lost in all my life. i know, i sound pathetic but i cant explain it any other way. i was torn between parents & boyfriend. both are important to me, obviously, but how do i choose between them?

to those close friends that i've talked to, they know i wanna have both. i want to keep my parents happy and i want to keep my boyfriend. almost all of them advised me to do the same thing, keep the bf and keep this a relationship on a low profile. keep it quieter than before. but, i keep thinking, what if they were to find out yet again? wouldnt i hurt them & risk losing their trust altogether again?

but then again, i dont wanna let go of kai. he's the best that has happened to me. to let go of someone so special is plain difficult. especially in this relationship where we never did have a huge quarrel before. only little squabbles that seem to go away after talking it out. these 9 months that we are officially together has been great. in fact, it was too good to be true. that was what he said, that it was too good to be true.

thanks to all that has been there for me the last few days. i really appreciate it. (:

the journey ahead is gonna be tough, for sure. i hope i'll pull thru it. i hope we'll pull thru it.

i've been trying to keep myself awake by drinking my bottled green tea the whole night. and no, it doesnt work. duh.

then, i tried blasting good old rock songs in my ears. and i think it worked for some time.

now, im just gently rubbing my eyes. u knw wat? its working for a bit.

god, this last minute work really stinks.

project blues.

fucking hungry lik crazy.

crankiness creeps in.

oh, hell.

Bestest (:

okay, a quick post before i get back to figuring out how i should do the marketing proj.

i want a genie in a bottle
to grant me three wishes.

my first wish : i want ALL my loved ones to be safe & happy. (wohoo! :D)
my second wish : world peace. (yes, that)
my last wish : more sleep. (oh yes pleeeeease)

HEHEHE. super random la.

can i just wake up to realise that its the weekends alrd?
thurs & fri submission is a killer la! :(
boo.

okok, back to projs.
hurrah.

"Cos everyone deserves to be happy"

im soooo stoned up there.

pls dont mind me.

(:

Dedicated to the 2nd week of july babies :D

11th july : happy bdy stacy!

well well well, look at that grinning fat ass up there. hahas! hope u had a gd bdy babe (:

cheers to this friendship of ours (:

9th july : mum's bdy!

she will kill me if she sees that this pic of hers is posted on the world wide web. but, since she dont know of the existence of my blog, my life shall be spared :D

to the best cook ever!

cheers (:

____

since im giving cheers to everything..

here's a toast to,

THE WORLD. (:

(omg, why am i ultra lame tonight?)

Five O'Clock Heroes feat. Agyness Deyn - Who

i loooove this song. coolness.

ok, back to reading thru ICC. bye fools. (:

"I dont know where to start"

watching movies on tuesdays with classmates is becoming a weekly ritual. taking a break in between project submissions & tests is good. its therapy (: and i get to spend time with such awesome ppl anw. i likeee! hehe.

im in a very thankful mood today. god knows why. but, yeah, i am.

to all the beings that have come & gone.

to all the beings that have come & stayed.

thank you for being part of my life.

i feel weird.

im talking weird.

this is weird.

weird.

patience,

i guess.

"I know this is a feeling that I just cant fight"

just thinking abt the piled up projs make me sick. urgh. be gone, projects!

i saw a calendar in my parents rm. and the date 9 july was circled. i walked to the toilet and i saw yet another calendar there. and, 9 july was also circled.

me: wahh. so sweeeet.

mum: awww.. *grins*

9 july is my mum's bdy. knowing my dad, he must have been circling that date on all the calendars in the hse. hahas. somehow, i find this act of his, endearing. (:

this pic. at town, on my dad's bdy celebration.

u know, im thankful to have such loving parents.

a friend of mine saw his pic on my phone.

shu ai: eh his hair long sia.

me: haha yeah.

shu ai: his hair look like yours alrd la.

me: yeah, we cn look like siblings alrd.

HEHEHE. :p

i still like your hair, dun worry.

i still think the "J" badge shud switch places with the "K" badge.

"dont leave me in doubt"

deadbeat.

oh god. a whole, full day of filming is sure as hell tiring. damn. it drained every single bit of energy in me. not like there's much anw. hahas. but, at least we're done with the whole video. all thats left is to compile all the scenes minus the NG parts.

all we need is a 5-9 mins video. and it takes us around 12 hours to get all our scenes right. wow.

and i stil wonder what does NG stands for.

(cmon la, u can still call it bloopers) :P

daddy stil dont like the fact that im not home often. sigh.

i should sleep early. long day tmr. and for once, i wanna feel fresh while tutoring :p hehehe.