Twisted.

blogger is playin crazy wit me agn. dont luh.

the things tt i did tdy / the things tt went thru my mind tdy.

typical day at sch tdy. :D
mp3 is nearing death. :(
simpsons movie is hilarious. :P
im missing a whole lot of ppl. :'(
exams are looming. :O
my msg limit is goin bust. :/
my left earlobe is itchy. :S

HAHA. i wna blog bout so many things bt im too lazy to form sentences. so there goes. my limited vocabulary expressed in smiley faces. err so random. yeayea.

i dint say! i dint lor.

this is the class.

presenting..

the class*

im supposed to be pissed. cos at this rate, i dun tink i'll ever be able to finish up my online test. wth. but somehow, im not swearing my head off. wow, an achievement. haha. the sch's website totally crashed. its beyond sloooow. erggh. but then, paramore is making me feel good. heh. misery business is definitely a good song to listen to. (: thnks PP!

cuzzies made my day on satday. monopoly was such fun. "YOU ARE A LOSEEEE!". somehow, my 4 year old cousin dint pronounce the 'R'. god knows why la. haha! bt he's sooo cute man! oh well, i lost to my other cuz. my childhood partner in crime that is. haiyah. i'll nv hear the end of it. shoots. (:

my worldly possessions are dying. this is serious matter. rly. look at my watch, the second hand is ticking so slowly. too slow, till it stops ticking at times. and and! my beloved mp3 is going bonkers on me. it'll suddenly blast loud, like rly LOUD in my left ear. or it'll just stop playin eventhough its a full batt. hurhhhh! diarrrry! i can barely leave the house without these two items! hurh. how?? oh man. pls dun die. plssss. not now.

YM, FB & PP was saying how they'll miss our class when we're separated to pursue our different "courses" nxt year. and suddenly, i feel like i took a walk back thru time. when 2e2 were gna b separated. oh man. separating is suckyducky. but its inevitable, i know. how i wish time will just stop for a fraction of a second so i can just relish watever i have going on for me now. ohwatawish.

i will never associate myself as a pr_n_ _s_. no. never.

so why did u?

but nevertheless, u did make me smirk.

yea, somewhere only we know.

a friend in need, is a friend indeed. wehehe. yesyes. ririn shud be a counsellor. she talked, i listened. she listened, i talked. frm afternoon till night time. man, tt was great. i miss her sooo much. the only pri sch fren tt i classify as one of the precious ppl in my life. she's oh so significant. (:

8years.

she promised a push pop. i got one.

"argh. i waited. but nothing."

the world seems to be getting smaller and smaller. in fact, too small. it seems tt either a wrk fren knws a sec sch fren or a pri sch fren knws a poly fren. ohmyfreak. am i making sense? i am. ryt? so anw, it seems to be so connected cn? freakish. and how much these ppl change. holyshit. alot man. frm plain skaters to emopunkrockskaters. frm a decent guy to a japrocker. i wonder how much did i chge? probably, nt much. still the same old me. mayb character wise im a tad diff but other than tt, im stil ME. (:

oh. ririn called. midnight talkin agn. gtg till nxt tym, bb! (:

srsly, this song is so close to the heart man. i get wat ur saying good charlotte. i do, i do.

"I only wanted a magazine
I only wanted a movie screen
I only wanted the life
I'd read about and dreamed
And now my mind is an open book
And my heart is an open wound
And now my life is open, it's open for all to see

But help me heal these wounds
They've been open for way too long
Help me fill this soul
Even though this is not your fault
That I'm open and I'm bleeding
All over your brand new rug
And i need someone to help me
So you come along, I push you away
Then kick and scream for you to stay
Coz I need someone to help me
Oh I need someone to help me
To help me heal these wounds
They've been open for way too long
Help me fill this soul
Even though this is not your fault"

its gotta b one of those faithful days when i feel so confused. so mixed up abt everting. well, not evrting. but that one single thing. its bothering me. but its the one thing tt im so touchy about. ergh. i tink i nd a good old shopping spree. hear tt mei?? i wna shopppppp! (: i nd cash to fall frm the sky. come to mama!

hehehehehehe. amputate my hands & u'll nv receive another text frm me. (:
mayb we're just plain there for each other.
i shudnt be so ___. right?
go with the flow.....

last monday.

yes, we miss our past dearly.

so we wear our sec sch pe tee to sch.

heh(:

hehehehe(:

i look so botak.

at times, i find it difficult to open up & let others in. cos i dun wan them to see that side of me. but, ririn understands me so well. she tells me its ok, its ok to feel that way. erhhh. i dun tink im making sense now. whoooops. but anw, tdy is sucha rushing day. rushed thru projs. both microe & management. i wna get it done n over with pls! formal wear for both days. look on the brightside, i dun hafta tink so much bout wat to wear. haha! kk, im so random. anw, first class pic before the night's over just nw. yay! (:

i'll see you in dreamland.

soon.

((:

I'll be here, you said. will you still be there??

i made it. a whole week without goin home past six. for that week only. and only on the weekdays, mind you. hehs. pointed out to mumsie! heh heh. arent ya proud? but weekends is a whole different story laa(:

i needed a pick-me-up. and its best when besties are arnd. and yes, i am a happy bugger. shopping is best done with girlfrens. ahyesss, i agree. i dint knw how much i missed them til i saw those two familiar faces. siu-tal. faces that i've grown used to over the years. faces that've seen me thru my bad days. faces that will, always, cheer me up. more meet ups pls. (: heh.

a fren's fren told me. dont say anitg too often. its too easy. mmmmm.

im in a mood for sappy songs. a total opposite of my true feelings but i just felt like it. so, my blog song is now this rly old song. but stil, its a good listen.

dont think.

just go with the flow.

come wat may.

hehehehe.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (:

ok, so random. but i felt like it. (:

im so sick of researching. i dun wna research on NEL anymore. i dun wna research on POM, controlling anymore. i dun wannnnn. argh. nxt wk, after wed, its officially shopping tym man. with fishy for skinnies. with PP for slippers? and mei for bag. aha. bugis, our port!(:

bestie, i miss you!

"So you're tired of running

You're tired of hurting

You're tired of living in their lie

You're tired of listening

You're tired of hurting

Keep your sadness alive, alive, alive

Don't you know that misery loves company

Yeah I heard, that misery was looking for me

Happiness is a face that don't look good on me

Yeah I heard, that misery comes looking for me"

another morning. another conflict. cross fire across lecture hall in the middle of lecture. watverrrrr. bimbo?? takes one to knw one. (:

somehow, these days i frequently find myself having stomachache even more often than usual. even if i eat, or i dont, i'll still be suffering. wat the hell is wrong with my body?? i love food. food loves me. but why wont you cooperate, stomach? ergghhh. :( indigestion mayb?

maybe i dun wna know.

HELLO BIG WORLD (:

i've never come online this early in the night since ages man. but i want to hav an early night so here i am! haha. just realised that i should reward myself with a good night's sleep tonight. not that the speech & stats test was great. speech was fine, i guess. but stats was murder. it was thoroughly difficult for all sets of papers. kns! within 10mins of the paper, i was alrd whispering to BALL that i was hungry. argh.

i can be pissed for all i care. or tired outta my mind. but these ppl can truly make me forget everything. in sch, we're in a world of our own. (: well, not exactly. but we do wat we like & to hell with wat others think! being arnd hyper ppl helps.

"Where would we be now baby,

If we found each other first

What would you do now darling,

If I said these simple wordsI'll wait,

I'll wait

As long as you want

But where would we be now baby

I'll wait, I'll wait, I'll wait, I'll wait"

good charlotte is also love. (:

i dint think u'll realise it.

but you did.

im awfully tired. its a freaken cycle. im doin my speech again. and its taking all night. ahh yes. last minute work indeed. and now PP is offline alrd. she who wants a portable potty cos we seem to b too busy to visit the loo. she who talks till there's nothing to talk abt. haha. she is PP. wake up, go pee. hehs. and bloody hell. i've neglected stats. darn fuck. and poa test was so eeeeeeek. i was so pissed la. haiz. i solemnly swear to sleep before 4.

i was soaring high in the sky. but you yanked me down with just your words. passing comments it may be. but what you said did break me. i knew it all along but hearing you say it makes it even more real.

friday the 13 is a good day. every minute of it is, cherished. poly life without 'the crazybitch3rs' would be oh-so-dull. being arnd hyper ppl makes you wna join em in the fun. you wouldnt want to miss a minute of it. i love. (:

treating yourself to a hearty meal at swensen's can be amazingly laughable when there's PP&BALL for company. food & happiness goes hand in hand. oh and fishy sure cn laugh all over the sofa. like, literally. (:

silence can be awkward but sometimes, its better that way.

somehow, history has a way of repeating itself. i found myself stuck in the same situation again. although the situation is slightly different. but its still the same storyline right? i dont like lies. but im scared of the truth too.

"Everybody's hurt somebody before
Everybody's been hurt by somebody before
You can change but you'll always come back for more
It's a game and we are all just victims of love.
Don't try to fight it, victims of love
You can't decide it, victims of love
Oh oh Oh oh Oh, victims of love
Oh oh Oh oh Oh, victims of love."

i've banned myself from returning home late at night this coming wk. i tink i shud make my presence known at home since i've bin MIA the previous wk. oh, but make monday an exception la. (: suddenly, i feel like freaken cinderella when she has to go off by midnite. argh. but nvm. i miss family anw. (:

posh cars & motorbikes are love. just. bcos. :D

"pulanglah kau bukan milikku."

dearest stacy,

happy 17th birthday.

i love you, fat ass.

- sucker

beware of what u wish for. oh so true. i tot to myself "its been some time since i was emo" a few days ago. & now, i am. god knows how i got this way.

more than 2hrs chatting on the phone with ririn makes my day. just like good old days. when she would call & the convo would go for hours at end. like, literally. and yes, we both agree that having malay girlfrens can be quite.. how shud i put tis, political? ok fine, its quoted from wandi. anw, its kinda true tho. we do hv real live melodrama goin on now anw. she's my only malay best fren & together we have tanti too. ahh. "the 3 of us sucking push pops" commercial. wat made u say tt? (:

i finally found someone who's willing to highlight her hair too. fishyyyy. but. she doesnt want purple. we'll see how it goes. but man, i do like the purple head tho. looks dead coolio. well, thats before it starts to fade la.

the nxt two weeks will be a killer. its gna be horrible. probably more late nights, missed meals, eyebags, stoning sessions.. the list continues. argh. welcome to the poly life, sista.

speaking of sisters, sissy is sick. again. mighta caught the stomach flu or sumtg. and mummy jz got back frm the doc. she's sick too. i tink stomach flu is goin arnd. argh. i hate having family members sick. i want them to be healthy can? it sucks seeing them suffer like this.

whoa. a long journal entry. sheesh.

"in a perfect world, this could never happen

in a perfect world, you'd still be here

and it makes no sense

i could just pick up the pieces

but to you, this means nothing

nothing at all."

i know now.

i shouldnt expect too much

from you.

"time always kills the past"
does it rly?

i shud seriously start striking off things off my "to-buy" list. i whine that i need to buy, but in the end, i'll just go "maybe next time lah" garh. the old me is back. the one where im so scared of buying something cos i tink im buying it on impulse or when i go home, i wont like it anymore. oh so typical of me.

nxt wk is gna be one helluva wk. that, i can foresee. and i got a gut feeling that im gna hafta cancel on one of the plans. urgh. i hate ps-ing ppl can? cos i knw how it fuckin feels like. ok, sry for my crude word.

and mum & dad shud stop worrying abt my lack of slp thingy. ok fine, so i've been staying up till 2, 3am in the morning. im guilty. but im happy. i like pushing my body beyond the limit. i like the feeling of pure fatigue sometimes. im weird, i've been told. its just my kinda thing. just like how i seem to like the smell of ppl when they just finish smoking. that tobacco kinda smell. smells sweet to me! yupyup. and my fetish for owning skull-y things. living example, my watch & pencilcase. well, thats just me. anw, i hope mum & dad dont worry about me alrd. i'll be fine.

anw, gna celebrate mumsie bday ltr. food-oh-food! (:

saturday i woke up with this msg on my hp,

"siti! wake up and pee!"

it was at 2.28am.

i tink i forgot to tell pearlyn something. i slp like the dead. (:

stacy says:
dn maybe next time we will be working liao
stacy says:
damn fast
i ask & you smile. says:
YA!!!
stacy says:
den we will get married and die

HAHA.
SHE IS SO BLUNT. HAHAHAH!
the last part got me laughing my head off! hehs.
(: but, thats the life cycle right stace?

argh. im damn shagged these days. like ytd, i just went to lie down on the cold hard bedroom floor. i musta look lik i've been shot down. hehs.

watch TRANSFORMERS agn ytd. its irresistable, baby!
RACING CARS ARE HOT!

tdy is full of ne-ne & kuku. HAHA. (:
and im worried. bout tests, projects. arggh!
and wk 15. noooooo!

& in the vision of you standing out in the crowd.

oh.so.vivid.

& i dun like it.

i refuse to be part of the charade. where ppl blog about wat they tink others wna read. well, i blog abt wat I wna say. i blog bcos im too lazy to write in my paperback diary. & in months to come, when im utterly bored outta my mind, i can read my archives and see wat was goin on in my life. this is my bitching space.

enough said. moving on.

i took a step back in the past just now.
together with yin mei, fishball, rauf & jun hong.
we talked about our first love, our pointless crushes.
i shall not divulge on the details of the convo
but it was pretty funny when i started talkin abt my first 'love'.
its weird for me to talk abt something that was so in the past.
& i wont even categorise it as 'love' cos its not.
its plain 'i like you, u like me' kinda thing.
hehe!
waddaya expect?!
it was back in pri six!
haha.
anw, thinking abt it now makes me wna laugh.
i mean, its like super duper weird la.
i was a mere 145cm pri sch girl.
& i was attached. haha!
how weird la. so very innocent man.
hehs.
& i feel like digging for the letters we exchanged.
oh crapstab.
i shud probably burn the letters before someone reads it!
blushblushblush!
ahhh.. those were the only pri sch days worth remembering.
hahas. (:

"dont find love, let love find you"
famous last words by mr jayson.
haha.
unexpected words coming from him.

tday is sucha LOVE day.
real love, past love & prank love.
its all about the four letters today.
(:

is it just me or is friendster a tad laggy these days? uhhhh.

anw, TRANSFORMERS is a MUSTWATCH! its awesomeee. rly rly. i like the sound effects. i like the background music. i like the machines & all. god, that show is great. i enjoyed it. nancy drew's fine i guess. and unlimited popcorn is arite only. anw, movie marathon is all thanks to dear twin fong. haha! yea i just got myself a twin. hehs. thanks for the free ticket sweets!

anw, if anyone wna watch transformers, i dont mind watching again. (:

fishball said things tday that made me think. it made me appreciate life abit more. it made me appreciate the people arnd me more. (:

oh, i love weekends. its specially reserved for family time & besties time. hehs(: weekends cant get any better than this. but then, if only time is like, longer than 24hrs. that'll be great. hehe.

i tuned to the malay radio station & the deejay sounds soo like this friend of mine. whoa. but i like the voice. hehe.

& there's no hope.

thats what we're told.

am i making sense?