North Carolina - Part One

Just home from four days of riding down in North Carolina. Pooched tired from the 16 hour drive home with lots to do around the house, laundry to wash and a bike to clean. Part one will be short.


It actually felt that blurry somewhere in the middle of the night on our way through the States.

Curvy Butt at the top of a climb not feeling the climbing legs after 16 hours straight on the road. Arrived in Asheville, grabbed a coffee, checked into the hotel, got our shit together and went over to Bent Creek to ride for a couple of hours to shake 16 hours worth of cobwebs from our legs and heads.

My fourth road trip to NC, third to the top of Greens Lick in Bent Creek.


Finished the day with a rip down Lower Sidehill.

*Curvy Butt's report here*

More NC reports this week to look forward to include: "NC - Part II", "Part III - Meeting a Dick", "Part IV", "Our Trip to I9", and "A Box 'For me!?' When I Got Home".

Nascar and the Hoff

I'll be out of the original big ring corporate offices for the next few days or so taking in some NASCAR action down in North Carolina and maybe hobnobbing with the Rich and famous.


While I am away, feel free to print off this David Hasselhoff do-it-yourself posable paper doll collection below to keep yourself occupied until my return to regular blog broadcasting.

Rockland

Rock on in Rockland.

Came into this event with ABSOLUTELY NO expectations or goals. Well, one goal . . . find a wheel in front of me that I could keep pace to and suck it till it ran dry . . . then find another wheel and so on.

I was hoping for a neutral rolling start for a few km's to let the legs warm up, but my hopes were dashed when less that a kilometre in the entire pack hit two short punchy climbs that split the field almost instantaneously. Wasn't a bad thing, as everyone seemed to find their way into a group of riders fitting to their ability level.

I followed my strategic sucking plan and found my way into a good group of riders for the first 15-17 kms or so. At about the same time I passed Andy, who looked to be on good form for the day, just a moment or two after he tore a hole in his tread and without a boot to patch it. As my group passed I noticed Pascal wheeling back to help. I didn't expect to catch them so soon because they seemed to be off the front ahead of me at the start. It gave me a little boost and I pulled away from the half dozen or so riders I was with, bridged a fairly decent gap and got on the end of another pace line.

Pascal must have put the pedal to the metal because not long after he pulled up alongside me and took the lead of my new group. My new goal was to stick with his skinny ass for as long as I could, which didn't turn out to be as long as I would have liked. After the two of us left another group I lost him as he tried to catch a free draft from a semi pulling a trailer (isn't that fuggin illegal?!?! fugging bastard!). Got dropped from him and went looking to suck a wheel. I sat up and let a couple of guys catch me and I got on. It was no day to be riding out in the open by yourself with the gusty, gusty wind.

So, for the rest of the race, up until 73 kms in, I rode with two other riders, sometimes picking up a straggler here and there to help with the work. I was able to keep Pascal in sight on the open straight stretches the entire time which did wonders for my moral. The two guys that I mainly rode with worked really well together using a cyclical pace line moving, each taking turns pulling. Three riders can cover a lot more ground working together than one alone.

As the ride went on I was feeling stronger and stronger with no cramping in site (more on that at another time). Me and one of the guys that I had been riding with started to pull away, or the others began to get weaker, and we got to talking about how many people flatted during the day and how stupid they were. I was feeling very smart with my big fat Grand Bois 30mm tires, cruising along a gravel road (85% of the 85 km loop was gravel) my ride felt incredibly smooth and supple, like I was riding full suspension or something. Then the "thud. thud. thud." started. Fugg me! Flatted. (clicky clicky for the rest of the story)

Results here.

**Wasn't even going to post anything about the race today, just because I didn't feel like it. I'm tired and need to go to bed, so you get what I typed out on Sunday - which wasn't that spectacular to begin with. Meh. Going to bed. **

RWR Clarence-Rockland Classic Race Report

I'll give you the best part today and you can read the rest of the race report tomorrow if you like.

"Fuggg. I'm standing in horseshit!!!" I said to myself as I changed my flat tire. My first flat tire (my only flat tire with Grand Bois tires in over a year and a half). Yes, I didn't flat once, not twice, but thrice!

Got the rear changed as fast as I could and got back on the bike, maybe losing 4-5 minutes. Get passed by two small packs. Get my head back into the game, throw the leg over the bike. Why the hell is the front end so squishy? "Fugg me!"
Zoom, a big group goes by. "Fugg!"

I'm still standing in shit, there was a lot of it alongside of the road, and I didn't even care. It was green with lots of hay stuck in it. Hey, shit. Hay, shit.

Used my only tube on my first flat, search the seatbag for a patch. Wicked - got one. Now where is the fugging hole? Can't find it. "Fugg!" There's water, putrid green, slimy water in the ditch. I can use that to find the hole. Don't fall going down to it. "Fugg!" I fell. Get the tube in the water, can't find the hole. Finally find the whole. "Fugg." Zoom. Zoom. A couple riders pass. "Fugg!"

Get the patch out, can't get the backing off with my gloves on. Get shit all over the sticky part. "Fugg!" Take me gloves off. Shit. Better dry the tube a bit better. That 'should' hold.
Half a cannister of air left. "Fugg." Only filled it half way. Have to use my piece-of-shit-ass-fugging-crippity-crap-fugging-piece-of-shit Crank Brothers micro pump. Piece of shit. "Why is this fugging taking so long??!! Fugg!"
Get the tire filled up to an 'acceptable' level. Get on the bike. Okay, all sorted, let's get this fugging show on the road. Pedal, pedal, pedal . . . . what the fuggg?!?!?
Front end goes soft.

Muther fugging fugger fuck fuck.
Yank the wheel off. Get the tube out and the gwad-damn fugging shitty little fugging patch fell off. Gwad damn slimy water. Dig around the seatbag for another patch. One left. Fugg this better work. No air, just that gwad damn shitty pump. 13465 strokes later and it's at an acceptable level.
A big white van with race officials go by and ask it I am okay. "Yeah, thanks."
"Keep going!" - pitty cheer from someone in the van. No other riders in site. I can see for miles on the country stretch. "Fugg."

Get it on, get going. It's holding. What's that "whump, whump, whump" coming from the back end? Get off and look. "Fugg me!" I must have twisted the tube while hurrying to put it in and now I've got what resembled a python who just swallowed a wild bore . . . big ass lump sticking my sidewall out. Fugg it, I just want to finish this thing.

Torn Grand Bois tire. Ka-ploo-ee.

Cross the line 1 hr and 2 minutes behind the leader. I figure at least 30 minutes behind where I should be. Fugg.
Big pitty cheer as I crossed the line. I pump my fist to the sky in glorious triumph. Another couple half assed pitty claps. Yaaay . . . .
Yeah, I'm a winner.
108th place out of 118 finishers. Sad, sad, sad . . .
By my calculations I would have come in at a stellar 78-80th place.
Still, I felt good, I had no cramping, and dwag-gone it I had fun.
Whoot!

Now willing . . .

NOW WILLING TO PART OUT . . .

- ’09 Bandersnatch frame (18”) Reg. $479 USD - asking: $350
with Salsa seat collar and spare derailleur hanger

- White Bros Magic 29 100mm fork Reg. $550 USD - asking: $300

- Chris King headset Reg. $130 USD - asking: $100

- Thomson Elite seat post (27.2 x 410mm - uncut) Reg. $90 USD - asking: $65

- WTB Rocket V saddle (ti rails) Reg. $135 USD - asking: $70

- Thomson Elite X4 stem (100 x 0 degree rise) Reg $90 USD - asking: $65

- Easton Monkey Lite carbon low rise bar (uncut – 31.8mm diameter & 660mm wide) Reg. $135 USD - asking: $95

Also, buy my other stuff too - it all has to go. I am trying to send a sick kid to Colorado in September.

Help send this poor, sick kid to mountain biking camp in Colorado in September.

Robbed of Fortune and Fame

Chico Racing sends out a magazine style brochures every season to keep folk up-to-date on the events that they put on. Chico does an outstanding job of promoting events, creating new events and keeping up with past successful mountain biking events. If you're ever gone to one of their 24 Hr races you'd be very impressed with how well the courses are marked, how organized and thorough a job they do and how many people attend (and keep coming back year after year).

My copy showed up in my mailbox yesterday and I was perusing through it as I ate my lunch. And as I was flipping through it I came across this. And I my mind was jolted back to a bad memory and I threw up in my mouth a little.

Recognize the person on the far right? Yes. It's him.
That shoulda been me up there. That shoulda been me in the Chico magazine. I would have been famous. I coulda been someone. I've been robbed.

That guy who beat me last year at the Opus Epic 8 Hr Race at Mansfield because I was to stupid to go back out for one more lap. That guy who I failed to pay attention to. That guy who I totally would have passed on my last lap as he struggled to finish. What a way to lose a podium placing, and WHAT a podium placing to lose - one with actual people sticking around and others on it, unlike this placing from last year.

There were two valuable things came from the race: one, if you have time go back out for another lap (Dicky, in one of his half dozen race reports from his recent race, also makes reference to getting back out there for another lap), and two, it began the constant wooing and ego stroking and pleading from Peter for me to come over to the Dark Side and ride for Misfit Psycles . . . which I eventually did do for a large, undisclosed amount of money and contractual perks and health benefits.

Despite having a general loathing feeling for him, I still think Peter is the best thing that crawled out of Molly's backside.

Unfortunately for me, but fortunately for Peter, this year I will be unable to attend the Spring 8 Hr race, my first missed race there in four years.

Snowfree

terrible photoshop merge attempt . . . fail
(clicky clicky to make big and a nicer image)

In case you had your head burried in a pile of sand, or you worked all night and slept all day during the long weekend, you'd probably would have figured out that all the snow on the parkways in the Park have melted. I went and checked it out yesterday and can verify that first hand - all parkways are clear. Some road debris - small branches and twigs here and there, but overall really good. Got to watch out for a few sections of roadway that the frost has really affected, making it bumpy.

It won't be long before the gates are open, so get out there before they let the cars back in.

Sign Me Up

Signed up today for two 100 mile races down in the States as part of the National Ultra Endurance Race Series: The Mohican 100 and The Wilderness 101. The latter will be my second attempt, and the former will be new to me. Both are going to hurt, but both will be so much fun . . . I'm hoping.

Will be traveling down with Tommy, another rider of a Misfitian creation, for the Mohican in June.


Last year I traveled down to PA all by my lonesome. This year it looks like Disco Stu will be joining me and maybe one or two more as well.

It's a shame that there are no real long events like these here in Ontario. The only ones that come to mind that are even close are The Marathon Series (only 70 kms/43.5 miles) and Crank The Shield (three day stage race). Both of these two events I am doing (in the case of the Marathon series I'll be doing two or three of them based on my available time off).

I love longer type races. I am not built, designed, nor capable of going really fast over a short distance. Takes me about three hours just to warm up. I'm actually more suited to a sedentary lifestyle of laying on the couch and eating chips, that or being a boat anchor.

I'm just coming off the long weekend working night shifts - 9 pm to 7:30 am. Makes doing 24 hr races solo look like a walk in the park. Thank gwad I only have to do this only once every six weeks, cause if it was more I'd fade away into sleep-deprived lunacy. Hence the lack of posts Friday till today . . . with the exception of the bunny on the bike, which I did a lame-ass pre-scheduled post last week cause I knew that I'd be shattered the entire weekend.

Needless to say I didn't get any riding in this weekend. And what a weekend to miss. It got up to +29 degrees celscius here in Ottawa on Saturday. Dang. Talk about ride envy.
So all I got today is my ride from Friday, a day after my long solo loop.

From the Gameline entrance, nearly all the way to the top of Champlain Look-off was nearly snow free and completely rideable. The first patch of snow was about 1.5 - 2 kms past the top of Black Mtn.
(After this weekends soring high temperatures and wind, the snow shouldn't be around much longer. I've also heard that Kanata Lakes is bone dry - time to get your single track on.)

I started hoofing it, but came across a fellow rider who said that it went on for about half a km or so and that there was another short patch just past it. Same rider said that the backside of Fortune was largely snow covered. I can't confirm this for sure, so get out and check it out for yourself. I'll be heading up tomorrow for a look see if the rain holds off.

White is faster.

My main objective of my ride on Friday, after doing a long one on Thursday, was to tear my legs off - go as hard as I could on the climbs, keep the pace up over the top, recover and attack on the climbs again. Great to work on the base and endurance stuff, but you got to work the top end too. It's no secret that I've been feeling under-powered, heavy and slower this year than any previous year. It's also early, early in the season. Unfortunately or fortunately for me, there is a lot of room for growth at my top end.

It was my first ride out on the Desalvo this year and it felt especially quick. One reason being it weighs about 8-9 lbs lighter than my gravel/cx/do-it all road bike (that beast weighs in around 28 lbs with fenders, Powertap, seat bag and two water bottles . . . it's a pig, a stable and fun to ride pig). The other reason, the Desalvo is now dressed in white, in case you didn't already know. White 'stuff' on the bike, I'll say it again, makes you faster without even having to try any harder.



BUY MY STUFF

Happy Easter

Eardley-Wakefield-Ottawa Loop

Hit the road this morning, crossed the bridge and headed north into Quebec for a 120 km loop.

Short, tough climb up Eardley Mtn.

Gravel dirt roads.

Fleur de lis and steeple.

Little covered bridge at the north entrance to the park.

At the end of Schnobb Rd. there's a trail that leads into Wakefield that I've been wanting to ride. Still too wet and soft.



Managed to jump on some single track while cutting through the park.
*if you want to wet yourself laughing, you have to read this.

Big Fat Birthday

Who's your Daddy?

Thirty-eight years old. Fugg. Getting older, slower and fatter since 1972. Tuesday saw no blog post as it was my belly button birthday. Had a nice little quiet family party (since none of my cheap ass friends threw me a huge surprise party filled with food, cake and presents . . . . fuggers), which was perfect. I don't put a whole lot of stock into birthdays, another year isn't a limiter . . . being fat and slow might be, but at my age, another year doesn't amount to much.
Don't get me wrong, I am totally open to accepting belated birthday wishes in the form of expensive gifts and money up until and including March 30, 2011.

WTF?!?

I've steered clear of the ego demoralizer machine for a while now, but decided to carefully step onto the scale on my birthday just for shits and giggles. I dropped like seven pounds. Fuggggg! That's seven pounds less of excuses for being slow. And I wasn't even trying. And it was mid day when I weighed myself, right after lunch and downing a big jug of water. So much for my plans of staying the Clydesdale category.

No better fix for this crazy unexpected weight loss than a big heaping portion of some General Tao's Chicken. Me likey long time. And completely wiping off the face of this earth that pretty cake in less than 12 hours didn't hurt either. What can I say, I meet adversity head on.

Despite working nights Monday, I did get out for a short ride yesterday soaking up the sun and enjoying the car-free park.

Pink Lake, not looking so pink . . . this weekend with highs in the mid 20's should knock that ice down.

Only one little spot that I had to dismount on the climb up to Pinks. The rest of the way from Gameline was wide open with only one other icy/snowy spot, which was easily passable.

Not a bad way of spending 38 years on the planet.

Inadequate Saturday Ride

Hooked up with Disco Stu Saturday for a Wakefield-Cantley loop. It was wicked cold out (-8 degrees), but once we got moving it wasn't bad. My engine was running hot just trying to hang on Stu's wheel. I tried to take a few turns pulling, but seemed like I was only slowing him down. I was happy enough to sit in his 160 lb skinny ass draft (why is it that I only ride with skinny riders?!?!) trying to hold on. Again, I felt like I was slowing someone down and was "that" guy.

Covered bridge in Wakefield

Stu climbing the 18% grade hill leading away from mt. Cascade. A beeatch of a climb.
If you're going to ride hills with me, better bring a picnic basket along so that you have something to do at the top while you wait.

We cut back through the Park to have a look how things were shaping up on the parkway. Above is at the base of Pink. The usual spots had ice and snow, but considering we're still in March we are well ahead of past Spring conditions.

Riding out of the Park we met up with Marc who was also checking things out. Notice his kit and bar tape? White. Marc is one fast mo'fo. He's proof that I am smart to switch the bike over and no doubt it won't be long before I am putting him into the hurt locker. Pffftttt . . . . I'm going to need a whole lot more of whatever to make me fast enough to even beat a senior on a touring recumbent bicycle.

All said and done, just a wee bit over 100 km for me. Finished the ride feeling inadequate, slow and without power with no signs of improving. I've got twice as many outdoor rides so far this year, compared to last but feel further behind in my ability level. I don't want to stop riding with faster guys, cause I won't get faster on my own. But there you are stuck in a pickle, slowing others down. Blah. Meh. Pfft.
It's only March, it's only March, it's only March.

Everything Must Go - New Pricing

Further to my glorious sale from last week.
Now updated . . . make me an offer, everything MUST go!

2009 Vassago Bandersnatch 29’er frame and bits
$900

- ’09 Bandersnatch frame (18”)
- White Bros Magic 29 100mm fork
- Chris King headset
- Thomson Elite seat post
- Salsa seat collar
- WTB Rocket V saddle (ti rails)
- Thomson Elite X4 stem (100 x 0 degree rise)
- Easton Monkey Lite carbon low rise bar (uncut – 31.8mm diameter & 660mm wide)

* extra derailleur hanger included (never used) I am not willing to sell parts, it is being sold altogether. I’ve ridden this bike a handful of times, it is in excellent condition – so are the components.


- will include in the price a team issue Vassago jersey and bib shorts (only worn twice - skid mark free! But I'd be willing to put skid marks in them if that sort of thing turns you on.)


Hope Pro II gold hubs with matching skewers laced to Mavic TN 719 "29 rims with rotors
$430

- used one and a half season
- super excellent condition
- will throw in a set (gently used) Kenda Karmas

hardly a scratch, true and strong - hand built at Phat Moose Cycles

-new rotors to boot!

'08 White Bros Magic "29 fork (110 mm travel)
$375
- used one and a half seasons
- super excellent condition

Truvative Team Stylo ISIS cranks
$20

Velocity Deep V disc "29 hoops
$40 (for pair)
- used one season
- no dings or dents

SRAM Powerglide 9 spd cassette (34-11)
$20
- used one and a half seasons

Bottom Brackets Galore! (two remaining)

Race Face SRX ISIS (113mm x 68/73mm shell) $25
Truvative ISIS (113mm x 68/73mm shell) $20
*Crank Bros & Shimano are gone

Hydration Packs with reservoirs:
MEC $10
Blackburn $5

26" mtn/hybrid fenders
$15
- like new & with all mounting hardware

BLT helmet lamp
$25
- with original grenade pack battery & smaller battey (built at Total Battery in Ottawa)
- 1.5 hrs of burn
- halogen

Diadora Mtn bike shoes
$15
- size: 10
- great shape and lots & lots of tread, no tears or rips, in great condition

MEC baggie mtn bike shorts (no chamois)
$10
- 36", no rips, tears, or stains
- I'm too fat for these

$15
- large

$10
- large

$20
-only worn twice
- large

$10
- vintage Chico Racing Summer Solstice jersey from 2003
- medium

Louis Garneau $10
- large

Oury & Ergon grips set up for 1 x 9 gripshift
- make me an offer

Flat bars
$5 per bar
- great for all you fixie hipsters out there

*ALL prices (*except the Bandersnatch*) are open for negotiation and 'best offers', so don't be shy I won't bite your head off. But also don't be stupid and offer me some shit price on something.