Whose sin is greater?

Timothy Keller offers an incredible insight into the story of the prodigal son in his book The Prodigal God. Most people read that story and reflect on the grace of God that is shown to the younger son who squandered his inheritance on a lavish lifestyle. Everyone can recognize the sins the younger brother is guilty of. Few spend time focusing on the sin of the older brother. The older brother had the most to lose by the father reinstating the younger brother to the family. The younger brother had already spent his share of the inheritance, yet he was given his share back when he came home. That means the older brother lost more of his inheritance. The older brother's focus for not leaving home was to gain the approval of the father. He had the "look what I've done" mentality. God does not want us to serve Him in order to get something. He wants us to love Him and in that love for Him serve Him. Our love should not be from the mindset of what we can get from God. Instead, our love for Him should be because we love Him and service is a natural byproduct of that love. The Pharisees were like the older brothers. I would venture to say most American Christians have the older brother mentality. We try to put all our good deeds on a list in order to gain the approval of God. This is not the way life is meant to be lived. God wants us not our actions. We need to want Him and not the things He can do for us!

My sin is more like the older brother than the younger. I have not squandered away in a lifestyle that is obviously unbecoming to God. I've spent more time trying to justify myself to God and missing out on the blessing of just being with Him. Both lifestyles are a sin, yet God asks both lifestyles to come share a feast with Him. The older brother never goes in to experience the grace and love of the Father. Both have great sin, yet only one gets to experience the feast because he accepted the unconditional love of God. May we all turn from our sin, love God, and serve Him out of that love for Him and not the things He can do for us!

All Things New

I tend to get busy and forget to post on this thing, but here's another post to update new life changes.

My last day to work at SBU is June 30. It's definitely a bittersweet experience. I am really excited to move on and experience what God has in store for me next, but I am also appreciative of the opportunities and experiences I've had at SBU. I will technically be taking the month of July off, but I'll be studying for the 6 tests I have to take. I have 2 comprehensive tests for my MBA (I'll walk on July 24!) and 4 for my new job. I am going to be in the financial services industry. So, if anybody needs comprehensive wealth management help, please contact me! I'd love to make sure you are financially fine in times of uncertainty and times of certainty.

Scott and I are moving to Springfield this weekend. I'm excited to move back to my hometown. It will be great to be able to go to church in the same town I live in. Many more opportunities for discipleship and ministry.

Since I'll have more free time in July, I'll post some more stuff here about other ramblings. Until then, live in love, peace and unity.

Blessings and Curses

Why is it so hard to return a curse with a blessing? I was reading 1 Peter 3:8-9 today and stumbled upon what it says, "To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing." WOW! How many times do I quickly return a curse with another curse? How many times do I return insult with insult? How many times do I return evil for evil? I don't know that I could actually count the number of times I have really returned a curse with a blessing. Maybe once or twice? How sad is that? I am much more quick to curse someone than to bless someone. I was reading an article titled A Summer that Counts and was challenged to live this summer with a missional attitude. Being missional means having a purpose for what I do. I don't want to waste away this summer and make it a time all about me. I want to return curses with blessings. I don't want to miss the boat. "If only you had paid attention to My commandments! Then your well-being would have been like a river, and your righteousness like the waves of the sea. Your descendants would have been like the sand, and your offspring like its grains; their name would never be cut off or destroyed from My presence" Isaiah 48:18-19. May we all seek to bless those who curse us and to live in harmony as we pursue a missional attidude where every person matters because every person matters to God.

What's Been Going On

Well, it's been almost a month since I've written anything on here, so I figure I better change that! A lot has happened this past month and I am really excited about what God has in store for my life. I have been wanting a change in jobs for a while now, and I knew that God had that in plan for me, but I just wasn't sure what all that looked like. Little did I know that my travels and experiences at SBU would lead me to several opportunities that seemingly would fall in my lap. First, a pastor friend in Las Vegas offered me a spot as his right-hand-man doing an internship out there. Last Sunday, they baptized over 1,100 people! God is doing some awesome things in Vegas and it would be an honor to be part of that movement firsthand. He also let me know about a full-time position that would be opening up after I finish my MBA. So, I applied for both of those. I guess it's a good way to figure out if the Lord is calling you to a place if you go through the application process. As these things were settling out, God have also presented an opportunity for me to be on the Board of Trustees of a new non-profit group that helps troubled kids learn discipline by using martial arts. Then, my buddy Ryan let me know he would really want me to join him in the financial advising business. With that job, I could live wherever I wanted to. All I would have to do is get licensed and go through a couple of hoops to start up.

Needless to say, the Lord really is using this time as a growing time for me. I am learning more and more the necessity of prayer in daily life! God often presents many good and right opportunities, but His way is the wisest way. I am excited to see for sure what I will be doing in the next few months!

Bush Sr.

I was able to cross one thing off my list of 100 things to do before 30 on Monday. I got to hear a President speak in person. President George H. W. Bush was speaking at the University of Arkansas for their Distinguished Lecture Series. Scott and I met up with Brandon and Casey. They took us to Whole Hog where Brandon ate this
and I had this goodness

Bush Sr. was really funny. I'm glad I got to go hear him. He made some good jokes about his time working with Gorbachev and how he doesn't have to care about much anymore since he's not the President! He gave a great speech that revealed a lot about his presidency and the challenges he faced. This was definitely a once in a lifetime experience. Well, I guess I heard him speak before, but I was 5 and it was at my church.

What is Church?

I had a great dialogue with some of our church leaders today. It has been an interesting trip over the past 9 months, but I know that God is in control. I am not sure where we are headed, but I do know that we are headed in the right direction. I have definitely been learning patience through this whole process. My timing is rarely ever God's timing. It is very humbling and a great relief to know that I (singular) am not the church. The church is the whole body of believers with Christ as the head. We are His bride. It can be weird to think of myself as a bride, but I need to give my whole self up for the Bridegroom. I don't want to wait around for things to change. I want to be part of the change...as long as the change is pursuing Christ wholeheartedly as we seek to serve Him and minister to the lost. What does that look like for my local body? I'm not sure. I do know that we are a body who loves to fellowship and welcome others to it. I want things to be ready now, but it doesn't always work that way!

Worship is not about me. It never has been and never will be. Worship is about the One who loves me so much that His grace abounds in my life in such a way that I am compelled to follow Him and obey His commands out of my love for Him. I cannot earn His love. No matter how many times I want to, it is not possible. I don't understand it, but I accept it...in fact, I wholeheartedly embrace it as the only true answer. Worship is more than a song. It's a daily lifestyle of expressing my love to Him for Him giving His Love to me.

I want to be the church that lives worship, love, grace, truth, etc.

Crazy Love

I started reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan today. I can tell that I am going to be further challenged by this book. I read through the first chapter so far and much of what I read is the same as what I've been thinking about for the past year. What does it take to live a life fully devoted to Christ? Who am I to question His will? What does a life devoted to Him look like? Why do I try to measure myself up to a list of do's and don'ts instead of accepting His grace and love? Do I believe that He loves me? Why would He love me when I fail at those lists all the time?

I'll be putting more of my thoughts down about this book as I journey through it.

First NCAA Tourney Game

I went to my first tourney game last night. I got to see Michigan beat Clemson in a close one and Oklahoma blow out Morgan State. Here are some observations:

1. Cheap tickets are great...no matter where you sit! We had decent seats, but for $20 a seat for the face value of $126, it is hard to beat.
2. Kansas fans are always annoying....even during Michigan and OU games. Seriously, no one cares that you are a KU fan. KU wasn't even playing last night. The fact you wore your jerseys and hats was enough. You didn't need to start KU chants or rant fans of teams who aren't even your rivals or in your conference!
3. Choose a road trip partner wisely. When driving home late at night, be sure your passenger will stay awake for more than 30 minutes of a 2 hour drive.
4. Downtown KC in the Power & Light district is really nice.
5. Sporting events are a great place to strike up random conversations.
6. This new list of 100 things to do before 30 is going to be great (see future post...not yet materialized on this blog)
7. Don't forget to bring a camera...pics from my phone suck.
8. Getting off work at 4 and randomly driving to KC for a basketball game reminds me of college...wish I was able to do things like that more often!

Overall, it was a great night. Rough trying to wake up this morning, but definitely worth it!

Learning from a 92 year old man

Today I had an awesome opportunity to sit and listen to a 92 year old man reflect on his life for 2 hours. It was incredible to hear him talk about 3 centuries. He started telling about his dad, who was born in 1879. He was born in 1916. We talked about the Great Depression, what education was like then, work conditions, how he grew from nothing into growing a great business with Pepsi. We only got to about 1974 in his life and we even skipped WWII, where he spent 2 years in Guam! I saw his original social security card...he even carried that in Guam!

I am excited to continue the conversation and listen to more of his stories. Things I learned today:

1. Always be honest with people. L. A. told the story of his father being careful to count for every nickel and for a person he worked for to be honest with every ear of corn they picked. He had the opportunity with his business to be honest when the bank gave him too much money for a check.
2. Love. He married not because of love but because he wanted to get a girl out of a bad situation where she was a bar keep. Everyone tells us to marry for love. He grew to love his wife deeply; however, he just wanted her to have a better life. Interesting story.
3. Money is not the answer. L. A. started with nothing and ended up with a lot of money. His business grew and grew, but that is not what matters in life. Relationships are what matters.
4. Don't let the times outgrow you. L. A. is one of the biggest supporters of the youth in our church. He doesn't let the fact that they worship in a different way than him hamper his love for young people who love the Lord.

I hope to be living a life well lived where I can share the awesomeness of God when I'm 92.

what to do?

i realized that i hadn't put any thoughts down lately. more like, i haven't written anything at all! i like the idea of blogs, it's just something i've not done before; therefore, i've been a little leery about starting mine. but, i guess it never hurts to try!

i find it very interesting how God has been moving in my life lately. i've been getting more and more serious about looking for a new job, but the opportunities are limited. i'll have my mba in july (well..i'll walk in july and take one more class in the fall) and i'm just not sure if i'm supposed to work in a secular field or full-time in the church. i was called to the ministry several years ago, but i don't know if that means i am to be paid for doing ministry or just be more involved with the ministries i work with now.

i'm supposed to let my current employer know my plans by 2 weeks from now. one of the jobs i applied for doesn't open up until august/september. another job that i'm interested in probably won't open up for several more months, too. i have a couple people looking for some jobs for me, but it's hard to give them direction about what type of job i want since i don't know if i am supposed to be in the church or not.

i know that God is in control and that He has some big plans for my life. i just want to listen and follow where He leads.