Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Land of Confusion

Too many men, too many people, making too many problems. And not much love to go round. Can't you see this is a land of confusion. 

Does anyone ever feel completely overwhelmed by the news in the world? It just seems that the positive is outweighed by the negative. Tonight we are sitting thinking about the victims of the Nepalese earthquake, the looming executions in Indonesia, and of course there are riots, human rights, war...perhaps not so very different than the last but much more well documented.

I have overwhelming urges to help out. Nepal for example needs doctors or engineers and I am neither. I can tweet about standing for mercy or love can't wait. It of course just adds to the clutter of the twitter verse. These problems seem so big. And I am so small.

Two songs resonated with me today. One was Welcome to the Black Parade (My Chemical Romance) and the other was Land of Confusion (originally by Genesis and later redone by Disturbed- the one on my running track. For years I have done small things. I wanted to impact students in the hope that they would go on to become those who could do more. I wanted to connect with future generations through my daily actions. These songs were an inspiration to me to keep working everyday.

But today I had a different reaction. It was overwhelming. I have two sons. Some days I don't feel like a mother. I still feel too young and too immature. I am goofy. Probably not the best discipliner. Yes...I remember the show 30 Something. They seemed old and tired. I feel old and tired somedays, but then I throw my Converse on and feel like a 20 something again (and like I should jump on a plane and travel the world.) It occurred to me today though that I am no longer the only one who should be trying to change the world. Now I should be teaching the two wild boys to do the same. Perhaps this is how I will impact the world. Small things which hopefully contribute to a larger picture. It gives me a sense of hope.

This is the world we live in, and these are the hands we're given. Use them and let's start trying to make it a place worth living in. 

Saturday, April 4, 2015

Wear the White Coat

Is confidence a learned or inherited trait? Are some people born with it? If you aren't born with it, how can you learn it? How can you build it? How can others help instill it?

These questions have been with me for years. In my previous life at the university, I had plenty of opportunities to both explore my own confidence (and sometimes the lack there of) as well as discuss with students and co-workers the importance confidence plays in every day life decisions. I have always reflected on a story I was told about medical students.

Often times, when medical students begin rounds they are seen as young and inexperienced because they do not carry the confidence of a seasoned doctor.  Perhaps you have had a medical student manage your appointment. Maybe you have thought "now where is the REAL doctor? " Many times, patients sense the lack of confidence the student has and determines that its time to speak with an actual doctor. If you do not feel the medical student conveys the confidence then you may not feel secure in their care.

And this is where my mantra comes from: "Wear the white coat." Simply stated, medical students must wear the white coat and carry the confidence that the white coat portrays even if it means faking it. The old cliche statement of "fake it until you make it" is certainly true for these students.

When you lack confidence in yourself, you must put the white coat on and act the part.

I have often times done this and have also advised my students to do it. Perhaps you are leading a group or guiding a project and are not fully confident in your ability to accomplish the task at hand. The key however is to put your white coat on and accept the responsibility which has been provided to you. Furthermore, you should carry the confidence that you have been trusted with from others. If placed into a position by others, they must believe you are able to accomplish the task. For medical students, this can be grounded in the fact that they have been admitted into medical school and have completed coursework, exams, etc. When my students were struggling with their studies and questioning whether they would be successful, I had them reflect on the day they received their admissions letter from the university. The letter was a vote of confidence that the admissions committee had in the student to succeed. The memory could be their white coat.

I recently came across an exempt in a book I am reading (1776). Specifically, the passage was spoken by George Washington. The first President of the USA. Certainly a man who was the "first" leader of the new states must have been confidence in his ability to lead. At least, in my mind it would seem that an individual who had been so successful in life must have been born with confidence. Perhaps he never doubted his decisions or questioned whether the struggles of leading were worth the stress. However, it is interesting to find out that he questioned himself and clearly stated before Congress that he did not believe himself a worthy leader for the task at hand. He stated:
I am truly sensible of the honor done me in this appointment, yet I feel great distress from a consciousness that my abilities and military experience may not be equal to the extensive and important trust. However, as the Congress desire it, I will enter upon the momentous duty, and exert every power I possess in their service and for the support of the glorious Cause. But lest some unlucky event should happen unfavorable to my reputation, I beg it may be remembered by every gentleman in the room that I this day with the utmost sincerity, I do not think myself equal to the command I am honored with. (pg 49). 
Washington put his "white coat" on. He took his confidence from the fact that Congress had faith in him to lead. This helped him fake it and then he made it. I think it is fascinating that even the best leaders have questioned themselves and their decisions.

In thinking about outstanding leaders and their own struggles, it gives me faith to know that they themselves were not always confidence in their own abilities. It seems to give me permission to also struggle with confidence. It also gives me hope that I can overcome my obstacles by wearing the white coat.

Excerpt from: McCullough, D. (2005). 1776. New York, NY: Simon & Schuster.

Thursday, April 2, 2015

Baking? Painting? Not So Much.

I was recently asked a question- "what are your hobbies?" 

This question seems pretty ordinary. What can it tell you about a person? How would you answer it? I think many people would say cooking, painting, writing, reading, running. To get know someone truly however, I believe we should ask "what are your true passions?"

Passion is a word I used a lot in my previous life at Texas A&M. I taught students to follow their passions; I encouraged them to stop believing everything they were told, stop doing what they are told by others blindly, and start thinking about their own passions and how this helps their identity development. Furthermore, I encouraged them to use their passions to guide their everyday decisions. 

So, when I was asked "what are your hobbies" I focused back on my passions. While retelling my story of my life to this individual I found that my passions have been carefully intertwined into my years. Perhaps I am not one with a hobby such as baking or painting, but my passions do drive my each and every decision.

Passion: History. I have the strength of context. I like to know where we have been in order to understand where we are going. I enjoy pondering the past and thinking about the ways it has influenced the present. Do I live in the past? No. Do I say "we have always done it this way." No. I simply use the past to make decisions about the future. 

Passion: Connecting. I have the strength of connectedness. I enjoy helping others connect with resources and experiences which can help them in life. This is essentially how I pay it forward. Introducing people to others because others have made introductions for me. Instigating relationships which can help individuals and organizations with achieving their goals. Supporting others connections so they can become successful in their endeavors. 

Passion: Leadership. I have the strength of maximizer. I enjoy helping others maximize their own strengths to become the best leaders they can be. Sadly, many people do not believe they are leaders in any capacity. However, I believe that everyone is a leader in their own right. Everyone has the opportunity to lead, regardless of style or characteristics. Regardless of title or position; regardless of circumstances which may control them. 

These passions together make up my hobbies. I read, study, research as much as I can. But it all comes down to what I can do to help this world be better. Perhaps I am not a baker. Or painter. And as much as I enjoy a good run, I would not say that running is a hobby. However, my passions are what drive me in my everyday life and decisions.