I'm still standin.....

Just a quick note to say that I'm still here and have some things to say..but not tonight. Heh.

Maybe tomorrow. :)

Massive FAIL

First of all...my children's web speak has totally corrupted my lil brain. So forgive me if at times I sound more hip than I have any right to be at my old age.

Well. Guess how much of my Monday list I accomplished?

I got dressed.

Hah. It seems like the universe is conspiring against me. Or I am. Perhaps a little bit of both...

I sleep in. Bad, bad way to start the day. Reed asks me if I need the car and want to take him to work. (We are juggling one car with three jobs and four children's summer activities.)

I get up..check my phone...sweet Kara had texted me to see when we were meeting.

Suuuunap!

I haven't seen her forever and we have so much in common...I have to make it work. So I text my poor spouse and asked if he'd consider bringing the car home at lunch so I could drop him back off at work and meet Kara.

He said yes. What a guy!

So...he gets me, I drop him off, and head down south. However, I have the wrong exit number and drive 20 minutes past where I need to be before I realize it.

Suuuuuunnnnap! Squared.

I turned around, and meet my friend 30 minutes late.

After a delicious Five Guys burger...we go to a park so her kids could play and we could chat.

And I get a phone call.

"Mrs. Watson?"

"Uhhh...yes?"

"This is Maria and I wondered if your boys are on their way to dance."

"It's Monday, right? Isn't dance on Tuesday?"

"Well, we couldn't meet last Thursday to finish the formations because too many kids couldn't be there."

And it hits me. Three of my four children have their Dance Concert. TONIGHT.

And I, I am 40 minutes from home....and have no idea where their costumes are, or if they are even clean.

So I call the spouse, who on this day shall be dubed "The Saint", and ask him to please see if his parents can get the kids to practice...and tell him I am heading home.

Oy. Vey.

I get home...start on lil bug's hair...and oldest child informs me that the boys didn't find their costumes before they got picked up. Really.

So The Saint digs through the dungeon that passes for the boys room and finds what they need.

And it's dirty.

The Saint runs downstairs to throw them in the wash and gets a call. The boys don't have a ride from practice to the performance venue after all..and he needs to go take them there.

Murphy has NOTHING on me today, baby.

I sit down to the comp for a minute and get sidetracked in a conversation about ADD. The Saint finally gets back home and says:

"Did you put the costumes in the dryer?"

OH. MY.

SUUUNAAAP!

We both head for the basement while arguing who should have made sure that had happened (yes, probably me, but to be fair I thought he would have asked the oldest child to listen for when they were done washing and switch them since her bedroom is right there.)

One hour till SHOWTIME.

Clothes in dryer...grumpy parents...Oldest decides to FINALLY take a shower. She then retreats back into her room where she has spent 80% of the day.

Thirty minutes till showtime..the clothes are "damp dry" but we can't possibly wait any longer. I pull them out and start ushering the rest of the family to the car. And there we sit...three of the four of us.

I run into the house and yell for oldest child. She is SO in the doghouse!

She comes upstairs with WET HAIR and yelling that she'll be right there...if I want her to come BAREFOOT.

Fifteen minutes till showtime. Grumpy mommy, grumpy daddy, hungry bug and petulant teen all make it to the car.

We arrive at the venue...at the time the show is supposed to start....and run the boys clothes to them. Fortunately the dance school is notorious for late starts and this night is no different. I am madly hoping that this time it's not our fault.

Lots of music and lots of dancing later we all head home exhausted.

And I have checked one thing...ONE...off of my list.

I got dressed.

Here's hoping for a better day tomorrow.

Let the Baby Steps Commence!

So...part of being depressed is having no other desire than to sit quietly and fade into the wood work. It's really easy to become distracted with online activities or other things where it's just..quiet. Being around people is hard. Moving is hard. After I teach I want nothing more than to just be shut up in a room with complete silence.

So...baby step #1...get thy ass off of the chair.

Over the past several years things have really fallen apart around here. It's gonna be a long hard haul to put them back together.

Today's list:

1. Get dressed. Yeah..some days that has to be on the list.
2. 30 minutes in the front patch of weeds that passes for a garden. I want to make that an herb garden and I have three happy little plants waiting for a home.
3. Mop and dust living room.
4. Meet my good friend Kara for some lunch and commiseration.
5. Scrub bathroom.
6. Make Chicken Tortilla casserole for dinner.

Things I'm gonna have to harrass the kids to do:

1. MOW THE LAWN! Our lawn mower broke..it's been over two weeks. We finally got a new one. Ugh
2. Dishes dishes dishes. 6 people, small house, and no dishwasher makes for an ugly stinky mess.
3. Get those dirty clothes to the laundry room! They say they have nothing to wear....I can't find any of their clothes to wash.

So...yesterday I made these little...mini lasagnas. I'm so stinkin proud of myself for actually cooking something new. It was so easy and a pretty big hit with the kids (though for Sadie and Breanna it would probably go over better with plain ground beef instead of italian sausage.)

So...if you need something different and fun and EASY...here's what you do:

Get out a muffin pan. Oil it generously with olive oil.

Line each pan with a Gyoza wrapper. Yeah..that's right...a potsticker wrapper. I know that seems incongruous with the whole "italian fare" thing but bear with me. (Side note..incongruous has TWO u's! Who knew?)

In the bottom of each little gyoza wrapper add a dollop of sauce. On top of each dollop add a spoonful of ricotta cheese. Sprinkle with parmesean. Add whatever filling you desire: sausage, ground beef, spinach, mushrooms...so many possibilities! Just a little will do.

Push another gyoza wrapper on top to create another cup. Repeat the process. Add a little mozzarella cheese. Squish one last gyoza on top..coat with sauce and mozzarella. Bake in the oven at 375 for 20 minutes. Voila!

Happy little lasagna cups that can even be eaten with fingers. Cute, no?

Have a beautiful and productive day! :)

New Beginnings

So. Now that anyone who had ever read this has given me up for dead...I have a new desire to start again.

Depression sucks. That's all I can say. Depression when you're a mom of four and have two jobs REALLY sucks. Depression when you're a mom of four, have two jobs and have just reached the dreaded "mid-life" stage can be devastating.

But guess WHAT? The time for wallowing has passed. I have a new desire...as well as nifty prescription drugs...and I want to make a change.

I've decided my brain is something like a hamster wheel.

Once it gets going...it just keeps going and going in the same way in the same direction and never reaches anywhere. If I let it focus on the things that make me sad..my hamster wheel goes faster and faster until it falls off the holder and runs into the wall of the cage.

Up until now I think I have primarily lived my life by default...I have let it run me into the ground.

So...there will be new changes on this blog. A new look...a new focus.

Each day...I am going to accomplish...something.

I may not get here everyday...but I hope to be able to share these baby steps with you.

Maybe...I can babystep myself out of this rut and live the life that I truly want.