oN e vErgE

_oN e vErgE

yes...on e verge of breaking down...2dae met jarren, lawsonn and eng seng...its a long time since i last saw them...well...

i cant confirm whether i wanna join e concert now...cox...

1. mi committment
2. mi skills r like shit now
3. e lost interest

i noe all tis can build back...but do u noe how demoralised i was jux now when we were playing welcum?omg i cant catch up lah...tis is sth tt nv happen to mi lah...i was so damn bloody sad n pissed off wif miself lah...i could e tears building up lah...so i had to escape frm e room...haix...

im so useless sia...

i wan to confirm playing in e concert but i cant...later i gt tings caught up n stuff...den i dun haf alot of time to really prac...im in such a shit up mood...

BLOODY DEMORALISED LAH!

=(

BORED!

_BORED!

omg...im seriously feeling superly BORED!!!aniways i decided to take away e music frm mi blog...hahAHa...okie...tml's sat liao...my decision still nt made...IM TOTALLY HOPELESS!!!aniways...let's blog...last time i sae i will blog bout e buffet dinner i went wif huimin n hakim b4 metro went to e far away c'try...hahHAa...okie...nt really far...hahHaa...

okie...aniways...we makan at tis shop called "Family International Buffet" in tamp mall...nt bad lah e food...except e mushroom soup which tasted funny...i was totally enjoying e food tt i forgot to take pics...haHAha...aniways...i enjoyed e sashimi...can u believe it?they ran out of sashimi!how dumb was tt...hahaha...we stayed there for a long long time...n played wif tis cute little kid...i didnt take e pic...aniways...let e pic do e toking...oh yea...e potato salad is good...and e egg sandwiches too...hahHAa...oh yea!e chawamushi...omg...i tink i tasted detergent...hahHaa...but overall e food not bad lah... =)









okie...aniways...tt happened on 24th may...den on 30th may i went sushi wif mabel melinda n wendy...we went to e funan one cox gt teppayaki...didnt take much foto...jux a few...hahHaa...let e pics do e toking again...aniways...i love jap sia...hahHAa... =)





okie okie...nxt up...well...i told u i was bored liao...hahhaa...let's see some pics of some cuties...i noe some mayb repeat...but see again oso no harm rite?haHAHa...aniways...i shall spare u all some harm...put pics without mi inside...hahHAa...really jux e kids... =)








okie...some musicial stuff for now den...hahHaa...











and finally e last one...a quiz for all...hahHAa...guess e stuff below...



haHAha...okie...tt's all for mi rubbish-ness for now...haf fun guessing! =)

HELP!!!

_HELP!!!

GOSH!!!HELP HELP!!!I NEED HELP!!!

okie...here goes...ive been asked to join alumni band...but im nt sure if i wan to go ahead...if i join...i will b letting miself down...but if i dun...im letting e person i most respect down...gosh...tis is a bad suitation...WAT SHLD I DO???haix!!!

i went to e band prac yesterdae...okie...i admit...i had fun...but i really wan to join or not?i still havent decide...sharks...

aniways...jux gt back frm mi cousin's house visiting mi niece & nephew...mi niece is so so so cute...let mi show u her pic...



okie...tt's all for tonight...still gt lots of stuff to do... =)

aniways...pple...pls gif mi suggestions if i shld cont mi band life...ur comments r appreciated...HOWEVER...if u cant leave good comment ie INSULTS...jux dun bother to leave aniting...im nt saying u cant gif mi a NO for an ans...i jux hate insults...

iN e sTatE oF cOnFuSioN

_iN e sTatE oF cOnFuSioN

i tink frm e title...most of u will noe wat i wan to tok about...so if u dun wan to see all tis rubbish...u r most welcum to click on e red button with e cross on the top right hand corner of the page...thanks...

oct 2006 till now is like almost 8mths already...i ought to gif miself a pat on e bet...but everytime i tink about it...honestly speaking...i feel like crying...ever heard chopin's ballade no 1?tt's how i feel...honestly...confuse...anger...all kinds of emotions...but i do feel tt tt song do suit mi mood...hahHAhaa...watever e case...

ive been trying to separate miself frm band all these mths...i wan to enjoy band music again...but i dun haf e courage to do so animore...whenever i tink bout going to nie...one ques keeps popping into mi brain...do i wan to join nie band?or do i choose to do sth else?i dunno...do i wan to run away frm wat i like?

honestly...i feel like a coward...a bery seriously idiotic one...but wat could i do?i dun wan to kana insulted by pple again...it was a total bad insult...i will always rmb it...seriously...no matter wat...tis is like e barrier which is blocking mi out frm band...

i feel like a disgrace...i let mrs lim down...e woman who believed in mi bout mi great carrer in music...mi love in music who told mi no matter wat happen i shldnt b giving it up...i totally let her down...im such an ass...mr tan...e man who told mi off when i sae i wan to gif up back in j1...when he told mi...music is mi passion...why am i giving up?tt motivation kept mi in band till all e trouble arrived...im such an ass...i cant forgive miself...i dun tink i can forgive miself...

i noe tt to forgif onself is solving one of e biggest problem...but i dun seem to b able to do tt now...sometimes i jux ask miself...is mi love for band music onli tt much?y am i not doing sth for miself?i could gif up so many tings for band last time...i could contribute so much time n effort before...no matter how wasted it was...i still did it...wat happened during e past 8 mths?

wat was i tinking during tt 8mths?wat was i doing?i dunno e ans...

beethoven...e great man who did so many wk...even during his darkness moment...he did not gif up...he was turning deaf...wat was tt motivation which allow him to write so many beautiful works still?wat was tt motivation?who knows?

i wish to b like him...nv lost faith in sth which i believe deeply in...

i mux crawl out of tis depression mood...

mayb some dae...i can face band music without fear animore...

some dae...

fiNaLLy oVer

_fiNaLLy oVer

and yes...mi job at ocbc is finally over...no more data entry...no more ot for mi for now...hahHAhaa...

aniways...actually mi job is quite fun...n i finally DID realised tt there r a few HOT GUYS in mi dept...hahHAaa...after some time den i realised...all thanks to ms josephine...who kept telling mi tt our dept is e onli dept wif hot guys...okie...its quite lame actually...e 2 of us were like sms each other...but cant b helped...we were separated frm each other...waste of sms...i noe...but...its really boring if u jux kept keying...n i tell u...its really fun sms-ing wif her...hahHAaa...

yes...i will miss mi wk mate...josephine n jaslyn...hahHAaa...nt forgetting...e super horrible...lame...boss...mr tan kim wee...he is one super lame fellow...i dunno argue wif him how many daes lah...he's gay...gt a bf...he admitted to us...but of cox i dun tink its true lah...hahAHaa...rmb...敬老尊贤...he kept saying tt to us...hahAHhaa

aniways...last dae of wk was on mon...boss treated us to thai lunch...den we gt off early!jo n mi went to watch sherk...funny..haHAHaa...den after tt...met up wif farm for marche...

tues actually wanna go swimming...in e end cancelled...cox e weather looks bad...but it fooled us...us as in seeleng n mi...but wed...i went to gym wif kitty...i tink too long nv exercise...a bit cannot take it...thurs...oh...piano lessons...yang yang gt chicken pox...poor boy...but he looks quite okie...aniways...ms tay shared alot of tings wif mi...im really glad to lend her mi ears... =) ANIWAYS! omg!!! i cant help but sae tis...matthew is such a darling...he actually hummed twinkle twinkle little star aka ABC aka baa baa black sheep...n when he's doing it...he had a smile on his face...i almost fell in love wif him...BUT...mi love for yang yang is greater still...hahHAaa...he cut a paper art for mi...hahHAaa...a rectangle...hahAhaa...aniways...he played e piano for us...wif ms tay help of cox...i will show u evidence!



well...can u see e motherly love?haHAhaa...mi dear handsome shuai ge yang yang...love love love~~~gosh...okie...back to real life...

well well...on fridae went gym wif seeleng...n it was raining...but good ting e gym wasnt as crowded as it was on wed...though wed oso nt bery crowded...hahHAaa...LAME!!!todae...stayed home...was reading mi books...finished another one...hahHAaa...den went shopping in e eveing...n its like sundae now...hahHAaa...

let's see wat awaits for mi 2dae... =)

oh oh...almost forgot...golden shoe complex...3rd floor...middle section...as in e 2nd section...good n cheap coffee...like star____ n coffee____ kind...oreo cookie ice coffee blended w or w/o coffee beans onli at $3...den hazelhut ice coffee blended w or w/o coffee beans onli at $2.70!n oso for e gals...u will haf a bery good sight if u r lucky...if u noe wat i mean...hahHAaa...aniways...e main ting...e coffee is good!haHAhaa...

ocbc

_ocbc

tis is my new wk place for a wk...but after todae im already superly tired liao...though there really good n cheap food...but e job is tiring...

i had to sit in front of e com e whole dae doing data entry...n 1st dae onli already ot...like so watever lor~

aniways...mayday concert over liao... =(