~ yAo kAi xiN ~ 要开心~

_~ yAo kAi xiN ~ 要开心~_
yea...i did sae tt...but i feel like im contradicting miself...

i wanna b happy...but most of e time...i dun really feel happy...i dunno y...dun ask mi...results are soon to b out...if i sae im nt scare...nt afriad blah...im lying...im coward...i keep telling miself...no matter wat happen...life still haf to go on...i got 24hrs to b either happy or sad...after tt...i muz b back on mi feet...

but honestly...i dunno whether i wanna repeat if mi results are bad...but i seriously gt no intention of doing so...dun ask mi y...im nt e kind of person who likes to study...i prefer to do music stuff...

e other dae...mr ng sae i take comments to personally...but...watever...

honestly speaking...i feel like crying...but e tears jux hold back by themselves...im feeling really really really stress out n tired...i wan to haf a rest...helping mi junior to cover up e past few wks haf been really tiring already...im bery bery sick n tired of doing all tis sh*t...

e teachers in HIHS haf high hopes in mi...they believe i can make it for A levels...i tink otherwise...i dunno y...who asked mi didnt work hard enuff...its no use regretting now...i noe...so i wont regret mi actions...i wont...I WONT!

i may stop skooling...jux purely focus on music...i wan to b a musician...i wan to write mi own pieces...i wan to re-arrange works...i wan to teach music...i wan to b a pianist...i wan to b a hornist...i wan mi own grand piano...mi own horn...

but 1st...i muz haf faith in miself...

gracia...you can do it!

=)

i must do it!

happy v'dae n international friendship dae!

_happy v'dae n international friendship dae!_

yup...happy v'dae n international friendship dae!

nt like e past few yrs tis time round...no friends to celebrate with...haha...onli lots n lots of teachers...but...its okie...still mi tradition to gif gifts...tis yr...a mini bottle with glow in e dark glitter dust with 3 mini stars in it...haha...

bored...

oh...guess i'll b leaving HIHS either in march or april...if im nice i will leave after their assessment...if nt b4 tt...haha...see mi mood...haha...tired n old le...cannot do much with them liao oso...but...watever e case...

i muz believe tt e band will b fine without mi...

=)

hmmm...

_hmmm..._
was reading mi bro's blog...den cum across tis...

something to ask yourself:
have you encouraged someone today? or have you said something to bring others down?

think about it and reflect upon yourself. =)

well...i shld nt juz tok bout 2dae...i shld tok bout tis few daeS...

well...honestly...i feel like...i haf sae sth to bring others down more than to encourage them...i mean...well..i gt no choice...im like e middle man...i need to bring across "not-so-nice" messages to others...at e same time...letting them noe...im there to help n blah all tis of tings...noe wat i mean?

fine...sae im some big shot...some thick skin person...but tis is mi job...up to u to believe it nt...as much as i want to encourage someone...e more i will bring one person down...funny arh...haiz...

to bring others down isnt something i like to do...i seriously honestly hate it...coz i was treated tis way too...y bring others down...when u noe tt when e morale is low...e attitude will b bad too?y nt bring e morale up n everyting will b better...noe wat i mean?

todae...mi teacher sae to mi...sometings e threat made muz b put into actions...THREAT...noe wat it means rite?usually brings a person down...at times...allow a person to move forward more...

different pple muz b treated differently...some pple react to threats...some do not...use e wrong method in handling a person...there goes ur chance...sae sayonara...

trust btw pple...e lack of trust...even if there's encouragement...will still bring a person down...TRUST is sth really impt btw human to human...once tis factor is missing...tings will nv work out btw these pple...

okie...i noe im getting out of point...

these daes...temper nt bery gd...i oso dunno y...too tired?too stress?skool's getting on mi nerves...haiz...band is killing mi...

i will sae wat i need to sae on mondae...