happy CNY!

_happy CNY!_
well pple...juz wanna wish all a bery happy CNY...

hope u pple will get lots of red packets!

=)

im so sick n tired of tis band!

_im so sick n tired of tis band!_
i wan out...i dun like tis alumni...though there's changes...coz i feel like...its as if there's no changes...i hate it...i hate miself...i hate everyting...

i dun wan to do aniting already...i had enuff...i do n do n do...but who noes?who understand?i will do till im going to start studying again...den...tt's when i wash mi hands off tis band...but...im going to start doing it soon...

i dun care whether its e 35th anniversary animore...i dun care...since everyone can dun bother bout it...y shld i?change dae again n again...im angry bout it k~ less than half e alumni can attend...muz as well 4get all bout it...IM NT GOING TO DO ANITING BOUT E ANNIVERSARY ANIMORE!do it urself pple...

i tot e change in e alumni would b better...but i was wrong...its of no difference...muz as well nt haf it...everytime e prac...hardly see anione...fine...im wking in e skool...so im near...SO WAT?i oso haf mi own wk to do! i use to b in SRJC too wat...in e end leh...everytime still cum down...at least once a wk...if nt twice a month...

im so so so sick n tired of complaining all e time...but i really had enuff liao...i quit mi job as a alumni core...i dun wan all tis shitty rubbish post...im better of without it...

well...u guys muz sae...at e end of e dae...i will still b doing stuff...but pple...i haf a life too...i dun wan everytime b involved in tis band...but without a alumni around...tis cannot b...but do u all understand?

aniways...alumni will now nt b involved in tis band animore for a month till further notice...be in alumni exco core or juz pure alumni...u wan to do ur section...go ahead...u wan do admin/discipline stuff...pls 4get bout it n let go...tis includes assessment stuff...

aniways...everyone not doing aniting...so actually there's nt a need to let go...but...watever e case...juz ignore tis band further for bout another month or so...do it...do mi a favour once...

thanks...

it hit mi

_it hit mi_
i was spring cleaning mi room tis morning...but im still nt done with it...i found mi old journal...n i was reading it...i realised sth...

all tis years...i haf a bery negative view pt of life...

yea...its true...all mi entries are all stuff lah..."unlucky"..."bad luck"..."bad dae"...blah...aniting except positive stuff...interesting arh...i find it interesting too sia...

mayb i shld b a little more positive bout life...

haf u ever tot of death?

_haf u ever tot of death?_
haf u?i had...in fact...many times...it crossed mi mind...esp during sec3 life...n sec4...n mayb recently?i dunno...

its depressing at times...

im serious...im mean it...

been watching schindler's list n reading true believer by nicholas spark...these r 2 really gd show n bk...esp schindler's list...makes mi tink bout e value of a human life...okie...i may nt b a jew...but it still made mi tink...i mean...e way people treat people...its nt sane...n in todae's world...though we dun see such treatment...but dun u feel tt e love n concern btw human to human is nt really existing much?

i dunno...im feeling tt...

being a teacher isnt easy...yes...i may haf mean a really gd teacher...ms ang...but...i still feel lost in skool...though zhang lao shi...mdm heng...mr er n many many many teachers who i noe or dun really noe gave mi lots of support...i still feel lost...

u noe...i dun even feel like mi...

honestly speaking...so many yrs of mi life...i still yet to see who im really am...well...i may haf sae i wan to b a psychologist b4...but pple sae im nt totally sane miself...how can i b?i wan to b a musician...but mi skills are...stinky...e theme piece frm schidler's list makes mi sad...

haf u hear it b4?

tis few nites...cant really slp well...hafing funny dreams...every nite...i dream sth bout e band...hiband...n i mean it...everynite...whenever i close mi eyes...i see either e instructors...e teachers...e members...or even e instruments...in fact...e most unlikly pple n tings appear in mi dreams...is tis a sign or sth?am i too stressed bout band or wat?

supposed to haf a meeting todae...but many cant make it...postponsed to tomole...but e no. of pple able to attend still seems e same...no better...

sometimes...i really hate miself...y am i wking so hard when others r really nt bothering?honestly...i dun benefit frm it...pple...i always sae im tired...im sick n tired of tis band...but im still trying mi best to do lots to help tis band...i dun wan see tis band fall or watsoever like how srband is looking now...its saddens mi to see srband like tt now...but no one will understand...da jie sae mi once...tt im bias...coz i cared more for hiband...

but im not...

"Whoever saves one life, saves the world entire" heard of tis line b4?its frm schindler's list...i find it bery meaningful...but...i dunno how to sae...

wat's e value of MY life?
wat's mi purpose of MY life on earth?
wat am i here for?
wat am i doing here?
who really cares if im dead or alive?
blah...

yea...tis always run thru mi brain...tis tiny bird brain of mine...i noe...mi family will care...for e last ques...but e rest n others under blah...i really dunno...

i was a horn player...i was a pianist...i was a musician...but i see miself no where in e music line now...i oso dunno y though im trying to start fresh new...i dunno...im in e world of darkness again...i see no light in front of mi...i see no route...am i given a difficult path again?am i nt tortured enuff with e medi n needles?

im sick of mi life for e time being...

i need some time to get miself back to normal...

i need to find mi passion in music back again...

i feel like putting HIband aset...

HAIZ!

_HAIZ!_
todae is a great dae...i laze around like nobody business watching tv e whole dae...amazing...tis is sth i nv do for a long time...

wanna write more...but gt last min time to do...

tomole's skool...

HEAR UP!

_HEAR UP!_
pple...listen to mi...

I HATE MI JOB!

black listed a few classes...wanna hear mi story?

4Faith: scolded mi bad words when im leaving e class...but...WTH lah...i was luffing all e way back to e staff room...

4Joy: notti kids in there...

3Faith: bothering mi while im in another class...i screamed at a guy...didnt wan to do tt...haiz...

3Joy: wanted to run away b4 official dismissal time...

watever...i cant wait 4 mi official time table to b out...so at least...i gt another teacher to help with...which i hope its much better...I PRAY!

looks like see leng didnt get e geo teacher job...but i hope she will get it... =) BUT...hopefully she will jux get those express classes n nt e NA...they are killers...okie...nt all of them...e gals are quite well-behaved...its jux some of e guys which spoilt everyting...

well...mayb i need an attitude adjustment...

but 4 e time being...

WATEVER E CASE!

first dae

_first dae_
yes...ive started work...can u guess wat im doing?i bet u can...try guessing...haHAHaa...cant tink of it?wanna gif up...

im wking as a relief teacher...

2dae 1st dae...so-so lah...but i dun wan tok bout it liao...tired now...haha...nxt time juz sae...

tt's all...

I LIKE TIS SKIN!

_I LIKE TIS SKIN!_
i like tis skin alot! n i gt no intention to change it whether is it easy or hard to see...

sorry pple~ =x