shocked to death

+shocked to death+

haf u even fainted before?here's my happening 4 e pass few daes...

wed
after mi paper...when 4 lunch with melinda n joyce...went for pizza hut...den after that i went 4 band prac in HIband...it was quite fun actually...but they ended up like...i dunno wat to sae...haiz...evening...went sushi buffet dinner with mr ng n jinping...we tok tok...den went home

thursdae
i slacked at home e whole dae sia...watching shows...doing nth at all...

fridae
i went out with see leng for a wonderful lunch...we had a long tok...interesting tok...haha...den we walk walk a while...enjoyed miself sia~ den i went back to HIband again...haha...tiring sia~ evening...went to people's park meet mi mum to shop...i gt new pants...haha...

sat
early morning went to HI again...gosh...i went to HI so many times...almost cannot wake up sia...haha...had exchange in north vista with them n iona college band...e band is so cool lah...but they r REALLY LOUD...haha...oh man...mr peter francis is so cool~~~ haha...his comments were all bery gd too...their conductor bery funny lah...but he superly gt a bery fatherly feeling...haha...had meeting in e afternoon with mr ng n e com member...den went home...had stem boat 4 dinner...

sundae
was doing maths since e nite b4...but still yet to finish it 2dae...sianz...was hafing dinner juz now...den i fainted...haiz...dunno wat happened too...nvm...its over liao...i tink i hurt toe sia~

okie...i tink tt's all...gt to cont with maths liao...haiz...hate skool...tomole start liao sia~

wat's wrong with mi?

+wat's wrong with mi?+

haiz...i really dunno wat's wrong with mi...wat's e matter wif mi...tis few daes...juz feel like crying all e way onli...dun feel like doing aniting except to cry...bery idiotic sia...

hai...tupid cough not okie yet...

someone...juz...kill...mi...

what's happening?

+what's happening?+

haiz...i really dunno wat's going on with mi these daes...i juz dun feel like mi...haiz...all thank to e exams these daes...tupid cough still dun wan to leave mi...sad...maths paper todae is a killer again...yesterdae econs oso sux...i was carpping 4 almost all mi paper sia...haiz...TUPID GRACIA!

hmmm...after maths todae...had a great lunch with SRband horn section mates...ie debbie n lulu of coz...the 2 evil twin sisters...haiz...at least there was some crapping which made me feel a bit happier than b4...*thanks evil sisters* they sae i shld start gaming to release some stress...wat a great suggestion...thanks... --""

haiz...sad sia...todae went back HIband...i feel so out of place... =( really bery sad...haiz...i was zoning most of e time...*mabel sae stoning is not a gd word* haha...n i really mean ZONE!when e band was playing winnie e pooh...i seriously nearly fall aslp...tis winnie e pooh...is like super heavy...till cannot move de...den i started arguing with mr ng again...i noe i haf A level...BUT I SERIOUSLY NEED THE BREAK!!!todae's break was a gd one...i enjoyed miself though i cant really play liao...haiz...idiotic...i cant play animore...all mi tonguing...everyting...all gone...im back to square one...JUZ KILL MI!!!superly sad sia... =( now mi playing...like mi juniors...sad... =( i dun like mi playing now... *tears*

2 more papers to go...tonight superly no mood to study...haiz...juz haf e mood to cry anitime again...haiz...tupid gracia...idiotic mi...

haiz...i miss mi horn... =(

+cough cough+

+cough cough+

e cough juz dun wan leave mi! idiot...and i tink e flu is going to visit...

was reading mi brother's blog juz now...n i cried again...haiz...tupid mi...rubbish...i realised tt ive been crying alot tis wk...haiz...cry cry cry...tt's all i noe how to do these daes...

prelim is like crap...im going to cont study...

wat's wrong with mi?

my brain feels like its cracking open

+my brain feels like its cracking open+

yesh...mi brain really like going to crack open liao...haiz...but nth is getting in though study like crazy~

haiz...coz im tupid...i admit...

haiz...alot of tings happened recently...dun wan to mention most of it...saw some HIband junior's in compass after studying with kitty...they told mi tt mr ng mentioned to them that i may b going back to help out after mi A levels...haiz...i cant...i cant confirm i can help...i already told mr ng liao...i didnt expect him to tell e band bout tis...sad...NOW I FEEL SO GUILTY!!! *tears*

haiz...life sux to mi now...

can someone juz kill mi?im really sick n tired liao...tis cough im hafing now is killing mi...mayb i haf TB...haiz...mayb i shld learn frm mi juniors...cut miself to get rid of some problems n pain...mayb i shld get out on e road n let a car knock mi down...no...a bus or a truck shld b better...mayb i shld start pills popping again...juz let mi die...im so sick n tired of mi life...

but i cant die yet...there r still so many tings out there for mi...i yet to own a grand piano n a horn...i yet to haf a chance to help HIband...i yet to do many tings i like...most imptly...

i yet to enjoy life...

im listening to ross roy now...there tis part...nearing e end...btw the part b4 modulation n after modulation...makes mi feel relax...makes mi see like...tings can b wonderful...dunno...but tt's how i feel when i listen to it...but...is e world really like tis? im not sure bout tt...

really sick n tired now...hafing bad throat infection though i still can tok...but mi throat...i feel like digging it out...its bery itch...haiz...e medi is useless...whenever i start studying...mi heads feels pain...mi friend sae its due to stress...mayb...mayb im hafing brain cancer...or watsoever...mayb im dying...

haiz...tis blog is so depressing...

i wish to b happy...i wish to b happy again...like how i was when HIband gt grade 1 for assessment...like how i was when HIband gt silver 4 e past 6yrs...like how i was when debbie n lulu bcum united...like how i was when i received mi PSLE and O level results...like how i was when i got mi piano results...but if i cant b as happy as e metioned above...i juz wish...i can b happy gracia...n not e sad mi now...

im facing lots of problems...want to hear mi out?i dun tink so...coz i dunno how to sae it too...

i juz wan to b happy...