disappointing day.
Long story but somehow it didn't turn out the way I want it to be. 4 years and it ended just.like.that. wasted my endless nights writing letters. sigh.

okay nvm. a new year is coming.

Appassionata IX is over. What should I say and how should I feel? Mixed feelings within me. Think that somehow I screwed today's concert. I got no idea why but I jut couldn't concentrate fully. Everything ended so quickly. It's like I still have the anticipation for concert and got the impression that there's band, band and more band coming up. Weird.

Trombone reunion today. Almost everyone came back! nice feeling. I thought that shinni wouldnt come at all but who knows, she appeared in the middle of nowhere and oh my! I was dumbfounded. I am starting to feel exhaustion. tired. I want to sleep but dont exactly feel like sleeping at all. nvm shall thank those ppl who got me stuff today!

First of all i wanna thank james! my xiao bai! haha. really a good friend of mine and i can whine in front of him and he will just say aiya, nvm one la, no one knows that u played wrongly. haha. and thank him for his soaked wet chocolate. Thanks for coming coz i guessed you're the only one friend of mine that came to watch. Mmm. thank my juniors, xiaojun, john, sheryl, shinni, rochelle and two other flowers i forgot from who already. but still thanks! Also thank eugenia for her card, cinders for her choc, sy for her choc, YUMIN for her choc n card, yasi for her choc, shimin for her card. I hope i didnt leave anyone out.

Really miss shinni n rochelle. They're like our ancestors! haha and they brought us so much laughters! yes! SIGH. I am getting pessimistic. Thank you MONICA for being such a wonderful section mate! four years together and I'm really glad to have you around coz you're always the one reassuring us that things will be fine n stuff. you rawk girl! Must come back next time. I will miss playing with you. Have fun back in burma!

I still feel emptiness. WHY. Sudenly I realised everything is like a dream. A dream that has vanished into thin air. Bubbles of memories left lingering around. Bits and pieces like a jigsaw puzzle waiting to be solved. I dont know. Brain dead. Couldnt think anymore. 2 more weeks of holidays and thats it. o wells.

appassionata IX tmr.
play it well. end it nicely.

OMG.
I am so tired. and i am screwing up many many things. sorry everyone. One day i should just stay at home and not do anything but to rest.

ARGHH.

fun day out!

Mmm i went to climb bt timah hill today! haha. why would anyone be so free to go climb bt timah hill? lol. Went there with a special someone. Almost fell down but glad there's someone to hold me still.

Alumni prac. nice feeling. the band was very big, apart from my section, with only rochelle, sunyang and me! Haven't played with them for SUPER LONG. so each of us took one part and its so fun counting the NUMEROUS rest bars we have. so many BBB came back. miss them lots. pity that shinni is not in singapore and cant join us for concert. miss shinni the chio bu! =)

next week gonna be a band week again. Yawns.

I am finally updating. Busy with band and more band. o wells. reminded me of my past dec holidays where my life circulated around band and only band. Come to think of it, I've grown. haha. the feeing of playing in a band is so much different now, being a senior as compared to a junior.

Somehow I didn't pass down all that my seniors taught me. Nvm. Counting down to 16th dec and I will really leave ny without regret, because the concert marks the end of my secondary sch life.

Oh i receeived a letter from deaf association. haha finally after so long. But the orientation is in january so I gotta wait some time. Bored at home.

RAHHHHHHHHH!

I am finally back home after so long. Had 2 chalets and a stay-over at Mandarin Hotel in Orchard with my relatives. Tired! haha. but quite fun. smiles =)

4 more days =) yay! There's something else I look forward to than just the end of my O's. haha.. haven't been updating coz I was sick?! fever. haha. how exciting to have fever during O's huh. o wells. too bad. Mmmm. had clit paper today and after so many days of O's, I think that ny teachers are really fabulous. They can really spot all the questions that will come out. haha.

Wonder how different my life would be immediately after the exams.. somehow I don't wanna leave..

so here I am posting something =)
Mmmm. Studying too much chinese is not good coz it gives people, like me, headache. haha. dumb but yay! chinese paper is over.. and what's worst is that whatever I studied didn't come out.. but I like the comprehension passage..

Okay 18 more days. gonna be over soon. Everybody please smile =)

NYGH 45th Secondary 4 graduation ceremony 2005.

Graduated. (=

Mmmm. Walked around the school trying to find teachers. haha. But apparently all of them were gone for some unknown reasons. Yesterday was the graduation day rehearsal.. Quite waste of time but wells. last time doing things as a cohort. haha. had lotsa free time so I went to band room. finally entering after a long time. heh. kopped my mouthpiece. and my hands were so tired after holding my trombone coz its REALLY heavy and I haven't quite gotten use to the weight again. lalala~ okay but yest was a happy day. k byee!

SHIT. I AM SO DEAD. AHHHHHHHH. DAMN IT.

So. Everything's final. I am dying of exhaustion already. School work is piling. Even if I don't sleep for the next few days, I still won't be able to finish all of them. I seriously think that teachers should not give us anymore work, apart from work that is REALLY related to O's.. haha. Sometimes I dont know whether to cry or to laugh. Everyone's getting stressed out I guess -verge of dying- and soon and I get my free black eye shadow.

YES. 41 more days till last day of O's =) good luck to all having eoy now.. jiayou!

hoohoo! Today is the first day of lesson after so long. And the work is piling up. I HATE COMPO AND COMPRE. haha. so dumb. we're doing it non-stop?! brain abit not working already. Rested too long but nvm! I shall be determined and finish all of them tonight hopefully (:

It was raining very heavily a while ago and now the sun is out. BUt I can't seem to see any rainbow around. haha. Been quite a while since I last saw rainbow. Mmmm.. Wanted to go west mall. But then I was a little lazy. So I told myself that if I have more than $10 in my wallet, I will go. If not, I will go home. haha.. I took out my wallet and saw the notes total up to $7. When I checked the coins, I saw 2 one-dollar coins and was quite glad coz I will only need a dollar more. counted the remaining coins. ten cents. twenty cents. thirty cents. forty cents. fifty cents. sixty cents. seventy cents. SEVENTY-FIVE cents. =(

haha... so I have only $9.75 in my wallet. and so I decided to go homee. stupid 25 cents. -.-" It was raining then when I was on my way back.. looked out of the rainbow and saw the rain coming down. hitting against the window and the road. Beautiful sight.

Went to mong mong's house as usual thanks to the rain. chatted with her and took umbrella from her.. And know what? In Less than 15 minutes after I reached home.. the rain STOPPED. how exciting huh. *arbish*

yay. Talking to a long lost friend can really be so heart warming. We didn't do much but just sat the the bus interchange and crapped for more than an hour? haha. so fun. And I realised that I could have met her some 11 years ago? Exciting huh. I got a shock too.

When we were all still very young we were all so innocent and that we didn't appreciate many things. As we get older we tend to find them back but we ain't successful all the times.

Was looking through the photo album and I seriously think that I was VERY ke ai. haha. really! I got a super big head and a round face and that for some weird reason, I never looked at the camera. My eyes are always on something and somewhere else -- anywhere but the camera!

Tired. I can finally rest. For the next few days at least. Then I shall start everything again. (:

Great. Today's mid autumn =)
But it is raining outside my window now. hope that the rain will go away if not all celebrations will be ruined.
Mmm. I feel like going back to kop my instrument. Or at the least my mouthpiece out. haha. Been damn long since I touched it and I just feel like playing. BUt. the room is locked because cca is suspended and I wonder if I can sneak in to kop it. *hope i succeed*

hoohoo. I wanna go work immediately after my O's. Part time de. so if anyone has any connections that can help me find jobs please kindly tell me! Hmmmm. But say first, my schedule is quite messy coz err. band gonna take up my tuesdays thursdays and fridays. haha. MAYbe I wont go for all practices. Pon Tuesday? lalala~ okay nvm this is bad. haha but still I wanna earn money and I need to earn money.

4 more papers to go and that marks the end of my prelims! haha. aint I glad it's ending. hope that quin can go out with me. It's been damn long since the two of us ever went out together. hmm lemme think. the last time being more than a month ago. Really don't know where she will be in just 3 months time. Hmmm. still. thanks for being such a nice girl =)

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I hate to admit but I am seriously getting dumber everyday!
Made such a stupid mistake in my paper today and
I can really go jump down the building.
It's Not about the marks or whatever
BUT
I JUST FEEL DUMB.

coz its such a stupid mistake.
mistake no one will make.

I just had a dream. A dream with a weird combination of people. I dreamt of the zj quin aud and some other banders. And I dreamt of myself in some lecture hall. Mmmmmm. Just an empty feeling.

Finally a post after so long. Didnt have the mood for the past few days to blog. Well. nothing much to say. Thanks to all who gave ur best wishes for me to jiayou! Mmmm. I am growing fat. I need to jian fei.

oh my. someone please save me. My mind is totally off today. I got no idea. It's been long since I have that feeling. Shan't elaborate on that.. Can't seem to concentrate at all..

Then. I was talking to someone. Will I still be part of a jc band? I don't know I told myself I wouldnt but somehow I miss band so much these days. All the music. The fun. The bandees. And of course the seniors. Will it only be part of nycb? or will I go further than that? I thought that I have let go a long time ago.. but I didn't. Whenever I hear band music, things.are.just.so.different. I should really go plan my stuff. It's in a mess now actually. Apart from studying, studying and studying, I don't do anything else. I don't hate studying but I don't see why I am studying. haha. *shrugs*

My future is so bleak. Studies is one thing. School is one thing. But there's something else that I haven't really learn. Something that I hope won't happen to me for it is really tiring. I am scared of it.

okay. I should be studying now. But I cant get into the mood to. Listening to band music now. (:

This is my 200th entry in this blog!

haha. I didn't know that I can laugh and smile so much. So much till my cheeks are really aching! BUt it's quite cool isn't it. To smile so long.. and I didn't smile for the sake of smiling. The smiles came from my heart. =)

okay! prelims. hur hur. study hard ba =)

Aghast and Petrified.
Perturbed by the horrifying image.
Fighting against my fears
and struggling hard.

Brain draining.
I can't hold it much longer.
My mental power will soon die off.

I detest it.
and it's Haunting me.
Now and forever.

When can I get out of it?

I wanna screamm

I wanna faint

I wanna. keep myself awake.

But I end up sleeping.

Rumors can really be misleading. So please do not listen to rumors.
Glad that el oral was over! I was like jumping out of the library..
Elated. Estatic. Crazy.

stupid girl.

I realised.

I haven't talked to you for damn long.
the last time being like 3 months ago.
and even before that
I hardly talk to you.
hardly talk to you anymore.

Part of me is still in the past.
Why am I so stupid.
I can't help but to think of you.

Our lives are so separated.
We are both in our own world.
I guessed that you would probably
have forgotten me.
But never will I forget you.

Sigh.

Prelims are coming
and I am so screwed.
Please wake up.
I seriously do not know what my problems are.
And I am to tired to find the problems.

We are all talking about jcs and stuff.
And I am like stuck in my own world.
Often a time I wonder why.
Why do all these happen?
How different would life be if not for these?

Maybe
I should really do soul-searching.
Like what someone said,
if there are no whys in this world
there wont be science
and life would not be interesting.

Okay.
I shall not waste time here.
good night all.

Geography

Of

Love

.................

windy night. tiring day. bumped into quite a number of people today. fate? no idea.

looking forward to tomorrow. Somehow I keep recalling things from the past.

Biggest failure in the world.

I hate myself.

passed down.

I can't really accept the reality that everything's over. It just seemed like yesterday that I came into band. All the happy and sad memories I have in this 4 years. I've evolved. Changed completely. Been through with the band so much. I don't want to leave. And I thought of the BBB.. they still feel so close to my heart.. like what yan ru said, i seemed to be a sec2 girl to her and she seemed to be a sec4 senior to me forever. Why do things keep changing. Can't things stay the same forever?

To nycb. thank you. juniors please work hard. all of us will miss ya guys.

....................

tired. damn that person ( who shall not be named ). wasted my recess again.

rainy day.

should I go for band presentation night?

hur hur.

arts festival. i miss the band. i miss everything. thank trombone section. i love all of you.

=)

Don't ask me why. I feel happy today. Even though i had a long day.

Mmmm. Somehow, the more I see something, the more I can't stand it. It all seemed very fake. Why even bother complaining things when deep down in your soul you wanted it? If you think that you're the only one in the world, so be it. I doubt that people will care. There might be some. but no one really gives a damn.

please keep me awake. Don't let me sleep. I have been sleeping too much. and its unhealthy.

Had a band exchange with a band from hong kong, don't really know their school's name but they are damn good. Most of them are younger than me. but all of them. PRO.

and once again. it set me thinking about many many things. so many things. I am tired. really tired.

Suddenly.

I want that something in my life.

Stupid me for not grabbing the chance last time.

I yearn for it now.

Guessed that it will never ever come again.

....

One year. Two years. Three years and counting. I sat at the same seat looking from the same view. Things have changed. Definitely. Should I still tell him.

I don't know.

exciting day.

Youth day celebration. Thought that I would go hide in some corner of the school but ended up walking around selling cards. haha. It's a lot better than what I expected. Had fun. Anyone wants to bid a card?

super tired. slept in the hall because the programme was simply too sucky. Mmmm. our class raised $500 over..

Youth Day. Ny.

*ponders*

Lost my mind.

Couldn't concentrate on anything at all. had a super busy and tiring day and I really want to sleep. but I can't. Been blur the whole day. Mmmm.

okay. Its the 7th of July today! nice day. happy bdae ky. went for band.. hoping to play 7th night of july but ms chong took rosa. In the end, she decided to run through 7th night. YES. happy. arts festival. passing down.

went tuition. eyes were barely opened. sorry uncle! I was really tired.

Star Festival (Tanabata) 7th of July

Long long ago, the God in the heaven had a daughter named Orihime (means Weaver, the star Vega). She was everyday weaving cloths for the god using weaver called as tanahata. The God was anxious about too hard working daughter and one day he introduced a youngster named Kengyuh (means Cowherd, the star Altair) who also works hard taking care of cows. And they fell in love at the first glance and they now forgot their work letting the cloths of god wasted and cows in ill.

The god was angry about it and let them live apart separated by Ama no kawa (River in the Heaven, the Milky Way). Then Orihime was weeping all day long. The god pitied her and allowed them to meet once in a year at the night of 7th of July (July is the seventh month. Seven was lucky number from that time).

If it rains on this occasion, the River of Heaven is flooded and prevent them to meet. Therefore, on 6th of July, people pray for them not to rain on this day, dedicating Tanzaku (a strip of poetry paper) to the star in various colors writing their wishes (including people's own wishes) hunging them on leafy bamboo.

These are attractive enough to be called summer Christmas trees. This is the "Star Festival". This story is a chinese legend. Originally, this festival was held among the Court nobility. It is since Edo era (1603-1867) that this festival become established among the people at large.

Had a very stupid day. In the morning I got pulled out of my bed by my mother and she insist all of us go to park with her. so we went off. My sis is eighteen and I am sixteen. All those who went to the park are all aunties. It's a good sign that Singaporeans exercise but my sis and I felt so extra! she even joked that the sum of our age is less than the average age of the people there. haha. and they had the morning workout. I didn't want to do. It seemed dumb. Just then, the turned to left, which is somewhat the position I am standing and the lady called out "It's very easy, try to do."

Felt so malu-ated. Decided to do some jogging and not stay at that dumb place -.-" and So I went to jog around the whole park.. finished in a short while because the place is rather small..

I am tired. really very tired.

I need a break..

I am so dead. screwed so many stuff. I kept thinking but all there ain't solutions at all..

Lingering in my mind. it didnt want to go away.

Mmm. okay. Talked to him. Had a small conversation.. As he walked away, I could see his back and I almost felt like crying. Well things have changed. Maybe he didn't mind taking a minor role. We seemed to have him neglected.. When I saw him the other day in the room, I looked at him and could feel the passion inside him. gosh. it's been almost 4 years already. he never blamed me for anything. nothing. even though I AM lousy and stuff, he never failed to reassure me that everything will be fine. just do your best. yea. that's what he always say. maybe I hafnt done enough. enough for me to face him without feeling ashame and guilt within me.

Lousy. Loser.

Thinking about things that's kinda not related to me. Or maybe, got to do with me but doesn't require me to think so much, afterall, its all about enjoying it. enjoying music. i miss so many things. miss em badly..

Trombone section outing 2005

yay. I am joyful. I didn't know that a simple day out can make me happy. Its been like don't know how long our last outing was.. when I was in sec1 I think.. and monica can still remember what she wore! we did bowling that time.. well I feel exuberant. no idea why. Took neo and I can't help but to think about the past when seniors were still around.. Pity that rochelle and vivian didnt come.. else it would have been complete section outing.. well nonetheless I am glad. Mmmm. val told me some stuff on the bus. she's always so inspiring. can't stand it. everytime she says something I will really stop to ponder.. haha.. okay. thanks val! you're great. to sy and shinni, you guys seemed to be doing quite well! take care eh! all the best for all of you mid-year and block tests.

miss ya guys lots.

some stuff that happened really set me thinking.. and I got to realise so much.. I used to take some many things for granted, thinking that it will all stay forever.. but well.. maybe it won't..

Mmm okay. I went malaysia on saturday.. The best part I guess was taking a boat ride and seeing all the fireflies light up the trees.. for a moment, I wished I could catch all these fireflies and give it all to you.. maybe these fireflies can give you some light in your life.. and bring you out of darkness.. but still.. its only a wish.. for fireflies doesn't belong to us human..

Hmm.. you don't think so much anymore ya.. everything will turn out fine.. it will..

had fun washing all the instruments. 3rd time doing the washing and it will be the last time I wil be washing it. heh. im tired. simple day. went kap and ate quite a lot of food brokee..

god bless.

I pray.. pray for you to be fine.. I ask for nothing more.

im feeling so zi bei. thanks to my lousy playing skills. yes. practise. my lips can't take long hours of playing anymore.. need to build endurance.. thanks mrs wong for the noodles.. hah.. and hmm.. thank ms chong! dont ask me why i am thanking her coz i got no idea too.. still. THANK YOU.

Hmmm... Slept the whole of today. wasted my time. Okay. first thing I want to do after O's : go visit lakeside family centre. sounds stupid but ya.. hope that I can really DO IT this year.. haha.. go learn something new.. bring joy to others I hope.. engage myself in something useful and not waste it during stupid stuff like sleeping.

Second thing will be attending all band pracs! =) hmmm. I think I've been grumbling about band for the past few months. im sorry. but well.. maybe I want to end it nicely too.. It will mark my 4 years of band life.. Doubt that I will be in a jc band.. so.. do it and do it well! Yea.. passing down is in 5 days time.. will that really be the time I can leave band and really focus on my studies coz I think I've screwed so many things up. haha.. I dont want to regret anything. Really dont want to. No one knows what a jc life will be but I think jc people are all very feign.. boo.. no idea.. nvm shant think about this right now.

magie flutee.

went to school very early to practise. In the end, decided to use bass instead of tenor for magic flute. If not, my embouchure will spoil. alternating between tenor and bass trombone. well I guessed I am more accustomed to using bass. okay nice experience with string ensemble. haha.. yes. PLAY LOUDER. =)

okay. I seriously think physics is something that I can never ever understand. Was doing worksheets and my tuition teacher told me that there's 4 different ways of illustrating current flow.

1. D.C. motor: There are half split rings to change the direction of the current.
2. D.C. generator: The magnetic field causes current flow in the coil and direction is constant.
3. A.C motor: Magnets can change directions. Direction of current flow is constant.
4. A.C. generator: There are slip rings to reverse the direction of current flow.

Above are just very brief descriptions. There's a lot more to it. =x

I am confused.

Happy day. really enjoyed going out with you! thank you for everything! really really love you very much.. so glad that I have met you.. you've never failed to cheer me up when I am sad and and to stay by me when I needed someone.. Your shyness is so lovely and adorable and you're a super huggable person! *hugs* hmmm.. hope we can stay as friends forever! A big thank you! you will always be someone special in my heart (:

It really hurts to see you cry and to suffer in pain and I can't do anything to rectify the situation. I really wish I could help you out, but somehow I can't help but to agree with others that you've made a wrong decision last time. You've spent so much time on things that ain't exactly that important and you've neglected other stuff. Yes you like it but is it worth so much of your time and commitment? What exactly can you get out of it?

Since you're firm with your decision to stay where you are now, all of us will respect you. Make sure you don't regret k. And please stay happy. love you always.

guess what. I went sentosa again today! hahaha. OKay. wore a t-shirt to prevent myself from being burnt. hereby wishing yuxing happy birthday! played volleyball but I was too lousy! so I decided to cycle.. Mmmm. tong tong, kylie, wei teng, hui tian and me cycled. It was rather funny at some parts especially at the roundabout turn.. its very messy.. but haha its fun! and people were like staring at us for a bunch of girls are cycling in the middle of the road.. >.<

Played a lot. but I still feel weird. Every single day I cant seem to shake that person's image off my head. Or rather, its more than just one person. hmmm. 3 of them? and staying at sentosa made me think of last year.. boo. realised standing at the top of the tower is really cooling.. maybe i will go visit there again..

went town. no idea why I went there too but guessed I got nothing better to do. wanna visit town. and since zz was there the whole day I went to find him.. left after a while.. i hate the weather.

-slacker-

hoo hoo. tired. balloon hat. hmmm.

bluejack436@hotmail.com

I have got completely no idea who you are. plesase do not spam my tagboard. If I have offended you in one way or another, come straight to me and say it. If not, fuck off and keep you big mouth shut.

its 2.30am..

my fingers are numb all thanks to typing. haha. drained. I cant keep my eyes open anymore. so much work to do.

jeanette. what a name. coincidence? I think so. Upon hearing that name someone came into my mind. yup. and memories from the past started flowing in. boo.

Just when I thought that things are getting better, everything came crashing down again. I saw her smile and it warmed my heart. I was happier today. but it lasted only for a short while..

MMm... slam dunk rawks. I love it. Really love it very much. just finished the whole series again. It's a different experience.. Somehow by reading comics I can indulge myself in it and not care about any other things. Learnt a lot from it. and also had a good laugh since i hardly smile to anybody now. yay! slam dunk rawks my life ((:

Somebody please save me.

I am so dead. Tomorrow gonna be like hell. Having spent the past few days lazing around, I just realized that I have got many work waiting for me to complete. shit! ahhhhhhhhh! i hate it.

Mmmm. cca not officially off. why. I wanna go. I dont mind if it is optional but its compulsory for all sec4s to return. I really want to go.. Im very tied down. tired..

let me go please..

"I Knew I Loved You"

Maybe it's intuition

But some things you just don't question

Like in your eyes

I see my future in an instant

and there it goes

I think I've found my best friend

I know that it might sound more than

a little crazy but I believe

I knew I loved you before I met you

I think I dreamed you into life

I knew I loved you before I met you

I have been waiting all my life

There's just no rhyme or reasononly

this sense of completionand in your eyes

I see the missing pieces

I'm searching for

I think I found my way home

I know that it might sound more than

a little crazy but I believe

A thousand angels dance around you

I am complete now that I found you

sleep paralysis. im scared.

great. I felt like an idiot. both yesterday and today. When I went back to school yesterday I found out that my trigger was stuck. And no matter how much oil I add, trigger just wont listen to me. stuck. heartache. seniors came back and suddenly I found something in band again. *hugs sunyang* .. haha. me and sy went to pasar malam and then ate food. heh. great. i love food.. went home. drained out. was pissed off. had mood swing. so. Mmm. was kinda not in the correct state of mind but glad eunice was there. thanks eunice. you rawk!

just came back from esplanade. watched hillary hahn cum sso concert. she's amazing. and sso sounded good. hah. but I was really too tired to really hear what's happening. sry ms chong! lol. Had a long day today. Im glad i had fun. saw liang n ying ling at esplanade. had a shock. And i realised that i ALWAYS bump into their family members at esplanade and everytime I will try to hide or run away when I see them. heh.

papers are coming back. not much comment about it though. Hmm. people who didnt do very well dont give up k. you still have the time to bia! yes! everyone shall bia! Mmmm. and I think I seriously need to get down to work. my heck care attitude gonna lead me to nowhere...

yay mid year's over. and I must admit clit can really kill people. had red, swollen and puffy eyes this morning. couldnt see anything. went to school and screwed maths paper I think. off to town with 1/3 of the class. thats huge eh. its been long. last time I was in town was 2nd april. hahaz. more than a month since i visited town. hoohoo. tired. looking forward to tmr. yay.

hello. maybe going jc aint a great thing either. they seemed fake too. hoo hoo.

went for band today. initially only wanted to play for ten minutes or so but I ended up playing with main band for quite a while before I left. felt weird. the feeling is so different. I got no idea why I felt this way. the band is kinda small. less than half the band was present. boo. and as usual I played lousily. thanks for my not-so-painful gums. wrong notes. cant sight read anymore. i looked at the band and I cant help thinking the past. you can call it post syf days now. we do have foa and concert but. things aint the same anymore. sorry section for my lousy playing today. I cant play.

left. thinking about the past. not that I want to think about it but it just came across my mind. took bus. saw yan ru. cool. she too said that I seemed to be sec2 to her. and she, is forever sec4 to me too. so are the BBBs. I miss them very much. they are still loving nycb even till now.. where's my commitment?

hate myself.

stop dwelling in the past. you cant wait forever. how much more time do you have in ny? half a year? o well. that doesn't matter anymore. regretting is pointless. if you doesnt treasure what you have now its YOUR fault. someone said that only way to love something is to realize that it might be gone one day. But you dont see it. and probably wont see it until that thing is gone.

wake up.

help me. somebody help me. I am lost. I feel so idiotic. When can I really let go. let go of everything. I hate lying to myself everyday.. really hate it..

boo. my gum hurts. thanks to my toothbrush. wasnt concentrating and as my mind wondered somewhere, i bang the toothbrush against my gum. OUCH! been a few days already and it still hurts. aww. dont know if i can play my trombone in this state. bleh.

too much things to say. but i dont know how to put it across.

-sigh-

someone please teach me how to eat crabs. haha. im the lousy person who doesn't know how to eat it. Mmmm. had fun messing up the kitchen. Made jelly! yay! and they said it is GOOD! woohoo. great. i love my family. didnt study much but i dont mind exchanging it for a day of fun. heh.

mid year coming. im kinda drained out. Brain doesn't work anymore. i want to sleep. celebrated mothers' day at grandmother's house. nice. family gathering. noise. fun. rubbish. yay.

hey.

i miss you lots.

real lots.

why.

okay. been busy for the past few days. I am glad that I am officially off band. hahaz. I can finally have all the time to myself after staying in band for about three and a half years. It's tiring. hmm. can be enjoyable at times but it can drain all my energy too.

went istana for performance yesterday. kinda screwed it up i guessed. we saw rochelle. yay. she looks short =x ... haha. maybe we grew taller!.. rochelle I really miss seeing you. somehow your presence gives me a sense of security. boo. monica, sam, sm and I roamed around istana. woohoo. i love the carpet grass! we took some photos. -nice feeling- i ran back to our meeting place thinking that we were running late. and I saw my friend. only managed to say hi. and that's it. haha. nvm. okayy. we went back to kap. saw someone but think he couldnt recognise and I couldnt be bothered to go say hi.

went off after eating ice-cream. it hurts. really hurts me to see them. or rather, he. was trying so hard to hold my tears back. the earlier night, i dreamt that he was dead. and i was frightened. it seemed to real. I got no idea how long i can seee them still. yes. I do not want to regret after they're gone. treasure them. keep the faintest memories. they dont recognise who I am. but it's okay. I could still remember the times.. i was still so young and innocent then.

Can anyone tell me what I should do now. My life is messy.

I am a liar. sorry.

brain dead. mentally exhausted.

woohoo. napfa's over. how nice can it be. had a totally slack day today. Mmmm. thank ms tan for her mini party. Didn't eat much. I felt weird today. Dont ask me why.

I looked behind the auditorium. and started thinking about the first time i entered ny. It's so vivid. and in a few months time i will be out of that school. shall i call for a celebration or shall i be sad for parting this place?

-no idea-

My mind is very screwed lately. I hafn't started revising for mid year. nothing at all. but i dont feel the urgency. Kinda getting back the heck care attitude about studies like the past. *shrugs* Somehow, i dont understand. Not about why I heck care about studies but more of understanding reverse psychology. Is stress really causing everyone to go bonkers? Its contradicting. hmmm. nvm. its a hard to understand topic. ahh. maybe I still need to see more before making any conclusions. many things happened lately. and I began to realize how hard handling human relationship is. Another hard to explain issue. Someone told me that people have split personalities so as to fit into different occasions. but. WHY. why cant they be their usual self? bleh. Life is complicated. everything changes with time. so hmmm. does it mean there's no eternity for anything? .... changes can really screw things up.

Hmmm.

okay my blog is finally done. boo. im tired. i dont understand many things and dont think i can ever understand it. but. hmm. sigh.

sorry to have let you down. all of us were too obssessed. sorry for not sparing a thought for you. sorry for making you wait for one phone call throughout the whole week and yet no one called. We got too carried away. Like what you've said, maybe we dont know you well enough. No one really know you well. You are too good a person for us. We didnt have the time to know you. Everytime when you look into my eyes, you will always tell me " Don't worry, I believe that you can do it."

But somehow the truth isnt so. I have got so much more rooms for improvements and you never fail to assure me that all things will go well. I feel so guilty. please do not leave us. we love you dearly.

I am lost for words. got completely no control of my world. yes. my world. I seemed to be drifting. drifting to somewhere far and its full of uncertainty.

ponders.

life is weird. i dont understand people. some are easy to understand while some - i can never ever understand them. haha. Mmmm. I think people just gotta find a life. get a new life and everything will be a new experience.

hello! im back. woohoo. realized many people love me. haha. so i shall be nice and love everyone back =))

so sick and tired. cant wait to go for band! yay!

yay. i feel weird. but nevermind. congrats to acsi, dunman high and sas. got top 3. Mmmm.

it's over. everything is fixed. Mmmm. we got a gold. that's nice. it all ended so quickly. boo.

celebrated monica's birthday. got her a surprise cake. yay. how sweet of us. haha. yay. val rawks. trombone seniors rawk. although they abit bo chap. but actually they are very nice. yes. juniors please love us and the seniors.

good night.

hello. syf is finally here. please wish me luck. hope i dont freak out. yes. 4 years and tomorrow will be everything. jiayou people! we can do it. =)

i've learnt. learnt so much today.

maybe i should really change the way of how i see things. Something simple and yet it can mean a lot. today mr tham, dont know how you spell that, came to our band again. he's simply amazing. he told us a story and did wonders. for the very first time, i actually felt something for the song. and so did many others. i dont know how he did that but all of us were so touched by it. the emotions finally came out. wonder if it will stay.

realized that i really love nycb, as well as my batch mates. had a simple day out and it set me wondering whats gonna happen after four more days. does it marks the end of my 4 years of band life? how would my section do and will i still be what i used to be? *shrugs* all of us kinda cant imagine how time really flies. 4 more days and it aint a lot of time. i should really buck up and put more effort. yes i will. such that i can leave this band without any regrets. Mmmm. also. no matter what the result is on wednesday, i wanna everyone to know that we've gotten the gold in our hearts. the gold that we yearns for. yes. its already in us. but please do not get complacent.

sometimes in life i think we just gotta really treasure everything. treasure it before it is gone. people as well. hmmm. im tired. really tired. hope i will survive through the next few days. yes. and everything will start afresh. banders please jiayou too! all of you've worked hard. a little bit more and everything will be over! take care !

i felt like an idiot today. somehow i think i really need to wake up. away from this sophisticated world im living in. boo. i've let so many people down.

sorry.

mmmm. brain dead. i seriously do not know what i am doing or what i should be doing. As much as i wanna hide, the problem stays. I dont deny that Im happier this few days but certain things still cant be changed. booo.

o today, the Indonesian guy came again. he came 2 years ago and now he's back.. haha.. i can still remember him.. he's damn comical and funny!.. hmm. a singer? and a choir conductor.. and its cool.. haha.. yay. he brought laughters. =) thank you.

=))

sheesh. my eyesight is failing me.

-going blind-

yay. new blog layout after so long. =)

okay i think im getting better today. well, at least i dont find doing homework a boring thing. and i managed to sleep quite abit. in fact i've been sleeping alot lately. let's hope for a new school day tmr. 10 more days.

i seriously think i need to control of myself. Mmmm. someone please knock some sense into my mind. ... wanna thank james. its really really nice knowing you. thank you for everything. n listening to my nonsense. i love you. you're e best.

thanks kylie, bek wuay, tong chong, yuxing, tong tong, eK, karen n shumin. I dont know whats going on still. Mmmm. love you all.

disappointed. my life is so screwed. it really hurts to be experiencing a mixture of feelings. sadness. angony. disappointment. i dont know whats YOUR problems as well as mine. im crest-fallen. everything went down. maybe i was a little harsh. but what you've said really tore my heart..

Nice day out.

i've stepped into somewhere today. somewhere im not supposed to go. hmmm.

somehow i think i've grown into an emotionless creature. Nothing excites me. everything comes to a standstill and i got no feelings for anything. almost everything that is. I dont know. Maybe this is just part of life and everyone gotta bear with it.

Its just weird. my tears dont drop anymore. even for things which meant quite alot to me, especially in the past, seemed to be quite meaningless now. I have got no feelings. dead. I'm not exactly remorseful. think its because im just a living zombie moving about without knowing where im heading. lost the will to lotsa things. Sometimes i really wonder how people change. some for the better. some for the worse.

Hmmm. this sucks.

Qn: If you're married, would u think of u belonging to the guy or would you think the guy belongs to u?

haha. someone asked me this qn today. hmmm.

Mmmm. stamina dropped! haha. need to go train alreadyy. boo. so much things to say. and yet nothing to say. *drowning*

i wanna kill zj. hahah! she's forever so blur and forever making her mother worry for her! tired. chem prac was DISASTROUS. my nails are stained with some funny looking colour and my fingers are stained with pink ink due to the leakage of my pen in my pencil case. wow. haha. crapx.

22 more days. will i survive through?

this term gonna be a busy school term and i cant imagine the tonnes of hw thats coming its way. 23more days i think. and everything's gonna be over. jiayou!

had band exchange with yuhua, ngee ann, rv, ri, rgs, tkgs, and st nick last saturday. they sounded good. Mmmm. ms chong just came back. haha and i think we sounded okay. gonna have more band prac! its coming real fast. haha.. went out to eat lunch with quin n yumin. heh ym's bdae! and at rendevous we heard many ambulances sirens! haha. bugis looked the same. went to da gu house and i ate exactly the same food! haha. rendevous chic and almond jelly?

okay back to present. need do hw. yay! haha.

been dreaming. about class and teachers especially. one's worst nightmare.. =x

syf is on wednesday. how nice. so many gold bands that day. *shrugs* st pat is 2 bands after us. we're always fated to be together. last syf they 2 bands before us. band fiesta they before us. this year they 2 bands behind us. Hmmm. haha.

supposed to have cip this saturday. clashed with band exchange. it always happened! 2 years ago it was the same as well. apart from that i was supposed to go sungei buloh then. -.-"

wanna find something in life. something. i dont know what it is and neither have i got any idea where to find it. Mmmm ..


.........

do you believe in fate?

today i left home early, caught the earlier bus and so took the earlier train. and i met mark!.. haha o cool man. and we consider the train ride to ps as an outing! L O L. but its nice having someone to talk to as it kills time. yay!

Mmmm went shop for some stuff. hah ate secret receipe and its simply DELICIOUS. i love the brownie coz got chocolate fudge on it!bet james gonna run 10km to burn off all the fats! heh. jiayou ba! mononoke dvd abit screwed. paiseh!.. haha. mmm. nice day out today. thanks. i love you guys!

ok. since my comp is still on. i shall write something. mmm. often a time I wonder why this world is filled with people. weird people. i never understand how these people think and I am still not able to understand them even till now. why izzit that some people can live their life in such a way that happiness fills their lives every single day while some people grumble and complain about the screwed up life they've got. studying people is not a easy thing. You are not the person and therefore there's not way you can FEEL for that person, moreover to understand that person's thoughts. Its simply amazing how some people managed to hide themselves and act differently in front of different people.

everyone has split personality. even me. there's no way one can deny that she or he doesnt have split personality. it's a scary thing. yes.the world is getting freaky and people are living in the world of isolation. they detach themselves from the living world and wanted to be alone. Mmmm. Alone in the darkness? i dont know. Why do people always see things in a sophisticated manner? Actually, life can be simple if you want it to be. The world aint getting anywhere if everyone ignores the reality. Why are people afraid of facing the fact. izzit because of their guilty conscience? Or do they simply do not give a damn about anything.

Someone once asked me what im afraid of. and i said everything. hah its true. everything comes with fear. Im not too sure about that. maybe because i hate changes. i nv like last minute changes and i think it simply screw things and thinkings up.

brain dead. i cant think much now. not anymore. maybe its a good sign that brain cells die. for one can forget things. forget memories that one would wanna wash away forever..

haha its fun laughing. laughing in front of my computer non-stop. HAHA. yes. shall upload some camp photos if i got e time =)

haha its fun laughing. laughing in front of my computer non-stop. HAHA. yes. shall upload some camp photos if i got e time =)

yay i love my bf!

hahahah~ camp just over.. finally over.. hmmm.. quite boring but there's a few fun part! mmmm prom night everyone was dancing!.. heh and xiaole stepped on my toe. wow.. -.-" heh.. yes i love my bf! ar! so cool!.. whee! going abit crazy but nvm ya.. lol.. and and and hols is finally here! finally can relax abit. abit only. have fun people =)

watched kabhi khushi kabhie gham. awww totally in love with shah rukh khan! yes! wonderful show so please watch it and dance to shava shava!

huggies.

damn freaking pissed off today. whats your problem. you suck!

im officially broke. thankew.

yay! finally no more lesson for the term! but got tonnes of homework to complete though!.. hahaha.. camp is coming, not really lookin forward.. but im looking forward to seeing zj n her high heels!.. hope she dont fall down.. hahah.. whee im quite high now. haha. nvm shant elaborate! lalala~ hope karen n shumz n yasi are doing fine in changmai!.. waiting for u guys to come back! love ya!

came back from sajc concert. nice one but i missed the musical though. hahaha. o rochelle rochelle rochelle! =) hope ya like the winnie the pooooh. yes please love the section. smiles.

life is weird. haha. i dont know how to explain. but its just weird. lalala. hmm need go jian fei! hahaha =)

yay i got my a1!

know what. i think i am really fortunate to have a wonderful family with superb cousins. hmmm i love my cousins, really love them all (apart from a few). most of us are quite close and yesterday we went to celebrate yuan's birthday! so much fun though all of us burnt a big hole in our pockets! howl's moving castle is very nice! we watched it and played arcade n the best part was the swensens ice cream cake. lol! damn ex but we 7 of us shared the cost. heh. =)

yay i love my family! really love my big big big family alot!.. among my friends im one of the few who keeps contact with relatives and that we gather together for occassions like new year, xmas, birthday parties n stuff. yupp!

my gum hurts. playing trombone hurts.

moral of the story: pls concentrate when you brush your teeth. Do not let the toothbrush bang against the gum. haha!

i dont understand why some people can make empty promises. When they realised that they are at fault, they will try their best to tell you how sorrowful they feel and what they will do about. but the thing is that they only say it and they dont even care about actions. so what even if there's a plan n everything, if you people dont follow it, why would others follow it? All of us ought to set good examples. You can see that some people are really putting in lotsa effort and so am i just to keep stuff going but i REALLY dont know what are your fucking problems. excuses n faking ignorance are what you people always give me. yes. im disappointed but not sad this time round.

yay! i screwed physics parctical. haha.. its fun because i did the wrong thing and hafta redo again.. straining my eyesight man. lol.. mayb i need to wear specs soon.. MAYBE.. hahah!

o i finally bought air supply cd. after so long and i realised hmv sells things at a damn high price. in sembawang its only 18.90 while its 28 at hmv. lol. nvm i got the cd! yay! =) saw candy in school today and i was like CANDYYY!.. haha hafnt seen her for such a long time already. heh. miss da bbb. =)

i shall be a nice girl from today onwards.

rjc band rawks! (:

wen for their concert yesterday.. walked a long way through ri before reaching rjc. hmmm ast in front of a bunch of ri guys, sec1 i think, and there were making damn lotsa noise!.. they had to do an assignment and they called a trombone "long trumpet". wow. how smart right. haha. i kept turning behind to ask them to shut up.. irritating.

heh james chan looked damn blur la!.. got a sotong look on his face. hahah.. and he still say i was the blur one.. well anyway their band was superb!..i like the intonation and balace and everythig!.. haha. rgs n ri band played as well.. i like rgs band better but the rest said ri was better. o well. dont care. haha.

during interval someone called me and i saw james lam. haha. didnt expect to see him there!.. haha.. lalala.. during their encore piece, ms chong told us to clap and so we did!.. but it was kinda anti climax coz we were the only ones clapping so in the end i ended up playing on and off beat with yixi. heh. after the concert, we went to their so called "band room" coz its not really a band room and talked to sharon. suddenly i miss her alot. she's already a past. having her new life in jc. i miss vanessa and valerie too. boo. walked out of the school and then ek saw a toad at the carpark!.. haha.. we tot it was dead so i blocked the light with my hands and then it started jumping and i was freaked out!.. L O L. and so our dear ZJ started chasing the toad with her amaths tb. so silly!.. haha and then finally we decided to let the toad rest and not disturb it anymore. =)

went to bus stop and then saw jacinth!.. haha.. she looked the same though. yea the 4 of us waited very long for bus and then ym zj n i took 156 back to bt timah. saw sam there. went home v late and fell asleep immediately. and i slept for 12 hours. nice.

i dont know what my mind is thinking about. its blank.

hmm. shocked. happy valentine to one and all.. i dont know what's going on in my mind. but i just feel weird and lost. boo. i cant wait to go jc.. i need to get a life.. a new life.. everything is stagnant and im a no-life-woman. haha.. how nice. yea i really really cant wait for O's to be over so that i can lift this heavy burden off me.. *shrugs*

saw yichao today at taka!.. man he changed so much.. that i couldnt recognise him at all!.. hah.. hmm... been 2 years since i last met him already.. hope he's doing well in hcjc!.. jiayou.

may the world be filled with lotsa love =)

hmm. im goin mad. hahaha but nvm. =)

happy new year one and all!

been a while since i last blog.. but heh no time so shall blog now to keep this blog alive.... basically for new year my whole family and i went to relatives' house.. and play pokers!.. hahaha.. yay i won money! whee~

hmm long break but lotsa stuff to complete and i still got tonnes of them to do.. dont think i will be able to finish them.. esp english portfolio!.. madness~

haha. okay i shall go do my work le.. see ya!

hmmm. band.

will i still join band in jc?.. i dont know.. its something so near yet so far.. but im glad im in nycb!.. love all of ya =)

i dont know.

how much longer must i wait before i can wash my hands off everything.

im just so sick.

help.

happy happy happy happy happy!

tired tired tired tired tired!

whoops. hmm really dont know how to decribe this entire week.. shall talk about today!.. whee.. went singapore conference hall for rehearsal.. reached there kinda early.. so we sat down at the ground floor and buzz on our mouthpiece as warm up.. haha! saw rochelle.. and first thing she say to me : " what happened to your hair?!" .. -.-".. she. bian nu ren le. okay yay! finally see her tying up her hair.. lol.. no more fierce look on her face. den. i found out sajc band having rehearsal at sch too.. and we were behind them.. saw jacky too!... and he too asked why u cut your hair until lidat.. hahaha was it really that bad. lol.. and later.. i saw this familar figure walking up the stairs and i called out su rong and she turned and looked at me.. haha.. rochelle got a funny look on her face.. lol.. didnt know su rong went sajc.. haha!.. yes so at six plus we went onto stage.. supposed to tune and everything.. sound was very bad initially but it became better later.. haha the trumpet instructor sam is very good!.. aha.. in love with him too!.. super fun guy.. lol.. he and gao pa pa gave lotsa comments. which is good!.. other instructors came too.. haha.. whee den the son of flute instructor was walking around with his shoes.. the one with rollers.. forgot wad u called it.. but he's damn cute too.. haha.. went back and its rather late.. boo.. fri got amaths test.. hahaha..


*mad girl on loose*

yay! its finally weekend. im so exhausted during weekdays. so tired that i dont even know whats going on around me.. hmm.. this week i missed one school day.. but im still as tired.. the workload will only increase and its never ending.. im really going mad because im like reaching home after 8pm everyday and 10pm on thur.. this is utter madness. i practically got no life. and my time is taken up by school and band. i dont even have much time to sleep.. resulting in my panda eyes. yes so my weekends will be time for me to s.l.e.e.p.

i wonder at times why we must study and study so hard when most things that we are learning or have learnt wont be of any use to us. i hate singapore's education system.. if i ever have the chance, i will migrate.. its too stressful and i doubt little kids can tolerate such stress at such a young age!.. yes so i must earn money.. and move to somewhere with peace and freedom.. its so competitive down here.. either you fight or you lose.. *yawns*

today was the nysc investiture.. was crap.. i was down once again for psgl duty.. anyway wasnt awake for the whole of today also. not enough sleep.. so many people were late and frankly speaking, this invest is not of very good standard and its kinda boring. this led to think about me being a psl.. for some schools they psl have higher recognition and are not treated like slaves like us..in ny psl are like free labour for the school.. anything the councillors dont want to do they ask the psl or BOM to do.. its so crappy. ushers, tour leading and almost anything that needs labour they call psl.. and we were not given any recognition in the school.. yes. you can count this as exploitation.. so much for nothing.

drained out. next week gonna be another busy week.. 4 tests and there's sch rehearsal on wed which will drag till eleven plus.. and there goes my sleep again. o crapx.

i need to break free.

whee.

okay im mad now. haha.. brain still not functioning.. so yes please do not mind.. okay the day began with me not being able to wake up.. chem prac did titration.. and im in love with it!~ ..

hmm audition started today?.. and i kinda didnt know about it at all.. crapx but nevermind.. hw hw hw hw hw.. haha~

im mad.

how does it feel to be in love?

read someone's blog.. seems like she's fallen in love with a guy.. haha.. its like a game.. you like someone but you dont dare to say it.. when you see him you will tend to walk or run away.. but deep down in your heart you were hoping that the guy would have caught notice of you and stopped you.. heh.. the feeling is just awkward and at the same time... sweet. maybe it happened to me a long long time ago.. so long that i dont even remember it.. but i dont think im looking forward to any of such things now.. i've seen some of my friends.. its really cool to be in love.. but when they break.. its like hell.. just cant stand people who do not take other's feelings seriously..

lost. im lost.

when you love someone, you should be happy. and most of all, is to know that the other person is happy.. a thought of him will make you smile and seeing the sms will drive away all the sadness.. leaving you heart warmed up.. i dont know. love works wonder.. no one can control it..

what does it really mean to love someone?.. hmm.. guess its something that i dont want it to happen to me now.. coz.. its not easy for me to fall in love with someone.. and its even harder for me to actually forget him.. i've finally managed to get over him.. after like 2 years.. though he still holds a special place in me.. boo.

im tired of everything.. human relationship is so profound.. even between friends, classmates, schoolmates, or just with a stranger you bump on a street.. its just so difficult to explain and stuff.. why cant human just live in peace.. with a simple life.. but lotsa fun-filled happiness.. we fight for our own happiness.. but sometimes we are too tired ourselves to even fight for it.. =x

im tired.

cheryl leaving tomorrow.. gonna miss her lots i think.. heh.. first time i saw her was at orchard heeren neo print shop.. take care girl!..

happy birthday to me!

thanks people for remembering my birthday!.. starting with darren, tong chong, shawn (first one on 16 jan), my sister, my brother, tirxia, ms chong, dorothy, mong mong, mcdonalds, xinyi, james chan, yuengi, john, melvin, audrey, khai, janice, vanessa, diana, tong tong, yumin, zhuo jing, junhua, mervyn, wai keong, yasi, jacklyn, elissa, serene, madeline, qiqi, cinder, da yang, tua yi, yuxing, james lam, mark, vivien, eunice, sheryl, eleen, freddie, er gu, cheryl, marcus..

haha hope i didnt miss anyone out! =)

for some unknown reason i feel like typing. so i shall type a long entry today =)

hmmm don't know how to start.. maybe i shall write reflections for last year.. the year passed very quickly.. so fast that i realised that i spent my whole year studying!.. haha.. got cut off from the outside world?.. till after exams.. beginning of year was concert and then sentosa performance.. next is padang performance and then again appassionata VIII.. work attachment time i found new friends.. different attitude and personalities.. and my love life.. hmm.. was rather peaceful till the end of the year also.. haha~ .. o crap.. learnt alot about the bandees.. got closer to them.. even though band is taking up all my time.. even now..

time really flies. so fast that i dont even have the time to breathe and think. everything come and go... soon i will be leaving ny.. in a jc i hope.. haha.. meeting new people and starting a new life.. dont know if i will join band.. most probably not.. jacinth came back on thursday.. to pay me money. yes my money.. she didnt change much though.. but a thought made me realise that how time just pass so quickly..i remember when i was sec1. she was taking me best in class.. then i asked her how to do physics.. on pressure!.. haha.. slacking.. and then rochelle came.. and now.. i am sec4?.. cant believe.. just cannot believe it..i dont know how to say it.. hah. nvm.. syf.. coming.. i really wish that i can pass down.. take a break.. taking band as a passion as a leisure.. and not be so tied down by it..

hmm.. shuold try to find ways to make full use of my time!.. im glad i met a few good friends last year.. james, kelvin, cheryl.. and also found back friends that i really lost touch.. mark, yuen gi, augustine, yi yan, pei shuen.. and of course my class 6f.. many changed.. but im glad.. everyone is so different and somehow i regretted not treasuring em more in the past.. haha.. blinded.. but heh.. nvm..

just today 3 people called me.. yasi zhuojing and yumin.. hah.. weird combination.. lol.. but nvm zj n ym are e few close bandees to me =)


o shrugs.. tomorrow. haha.. so fast. heh nvm.. shall look forward to a good year ahead!..

okay. my shoulders seriously hurts. all thanks to my heavy school bag with lotsa heavy books that i need to study everyday. please help me massage..

i just realised that my little finger is crooked. guess it gotta do with playing trombone. aw im really really really tiredd.. i need to sleep..

been a long long time since i last blogged. too busy to blog. been either sleeping too much or lacking too much sleep. band is killing me.. haha. somwhow i wished that syf can be over asap.. yea!.. and i can pass down.. =)

haha. crap my life is so crappy!.. with all the work n stuff.. totally no life.. not looking forward to my birthday .. dont ask me why coz i got no idea!.. lol.. i guess i got too much work that i dont even feel for anything.. all i want is.

sleep.

sec4 life kinda sux. haha.. details shall not be elaborated else you will be scared out of your wits.

yay! finally stepped down as e monitress le.. so happy. =)

ready not ready =)

hahaha... a new sec4 life.. wonder what it will be like..

struck and stuck.

haha bet you people dont understand what im talking about. actually i got no idea too. =) school starting tmr. excited. scared.

New Year resolution:

1. Be guai and don't go out so often
2. Max 1 movie every 2 months till after O's
3. Save lotsa lotsa money
4. Study study study
5. Practise and improve on my playing
6. Be a good senior
7. Be a good sister
8. Stay at home more frequent
9. Understand my family more
10. Dont be a sotong anymore
11. Love all my friends and hope they love me too!

Good bye 04!

happy new year!