If Heaven Wasn't So Far Away...

We were out eating lunch today, and Erin started talking about sisters.  She told me she had one sister, and I explained to her that she actually had two, because Cora was her sister as well as Allison.  She knows about Cora, but I guess it just hasn't registered that she's her sister too.  Anyway, she asked if we could go visit her (which reminded me of the song at the end of this post).  I had to explain that you can't go visit Heaven, it's just not possible.  That made her sad, and with a little pout she said to me "I miss her, Mommy."

Through the tears I could only answer, "I miss her, too."  *sigh*

The scrapbook

I have been scrapbooking since I was 13 years old.  I love it.  I love having a record of my life.  But you know what I hate?  It illustrates everything that I'm missing out on with Cora.  I'll never get to see her play in the snow, or dress up stuffed animals, or read to her siblings.  I'll never get holiday celebrations, or first days of school, or prom or graduation or wedding.

I was robbed of all of that.  And while I LOVE everything I'm experiencing with my living children, and recording our memories, I hate that I only ever add to Cora's book on her birthday or in October for the Walk to Remember.  And she's never in those pictures.

So while I love to scrapbook...sometimes I hate it too.