Monday, January 09, 2012 @Monday, January 09, 2012
I haven't had moments where all I wanted or felt I was capable of doing at that moment is cry. Until this week. For months I was okay with just existing. It was a big change from how I used to be. For as long as I could remember, my life was filled with school, rehearsals, practices, meetings and all sorts of other things. For a good long while, leading my life was hard work which I absolutely loved.
When I moved to Australia I did more than just take a backseat. I just let everything go. I didn't do much of anything except stay in my room. I had no practices, meetings, rehearsals or anything. There were the odd days where I would go out with the Bestie and obviously there were times when we'd talk like the world was going to end the moment the clock struck 12, but besides those brief moments of human interaction I was more or less alone in my room.
I guess it was my own doing. I refused to join a club or anything like that. I didn't do what I would normally do. I didn't talk to anyone and didn't attempt to make friends. I'm not afraid to admit something like that simply because I know it was my choice, I've no one else to blame. Though honestly, I can't stay that I'm unhappy with that decision. I think being without friends meant being without drama for me.
I think when I go back this year I'll try to return to my crazy lifestyle that keeps me busy and happy.