I hope that you see right through my walls
I hope that you catch me 'cause I'm already falling
I'll never let a love get so close
You put your arms around me and I'm home ~ Arms by Christina Perri
Free falling is most probably the scariest thing a person could do, especially if it's free falling into love, or at least what we think is love. I admire the people who can so willingly fall.
I used to think of myself as one of those people, then I saw that deep rooted fear within me. And now I think...maybe for now, I'm better of alone. I'm in a new country, in a new phase of my life. I think it's best that I try and go at it alone. Being reliant on people has never led me down a good path, so I'm hoping this new lease on my new life gets me somewhere. It's just under 2 months and I'll be back home in Singapore. I'm actually quite looking forward to going back to my life there for awhile. Think I'll be home for about 10 weeks before returning to Brisbane.
The best way to move forward in life is not to run or be angry with the past, but to accept that it happened and make peace. I've made peace as best I can... Now it seems I'm ready to walk away with no regrets. I've done all I can do given the circumstance and...quite frankly...I'm through
No hate, but no love either. But most importantly, no regrets. There are no more "what if's" in my mind and heart. It's time for me to grow up and move on, and not cling to what used to be.I may crave for what I thought we had, but until the day comes when what I thought we had becomes a reality with whoever is best suited for me, I'll lead my life knowing I did what was best for me and you. I let you off, let you go..You may have thought that you love me, but feelings change, people change. I love you as I would a friend and I think from today on, that's the most you may ever be. I rarely believe in second chances when it comes to matters of the heart.. I guess I'm a once bitten twice shy kinda girl. But that just means I believe in making the most of the first attempt. It may seem like I am trying to convince myself of my decision, but today I write without a heavy heart. Today I realise that despite being single and kinda alone, I'm most probably stronger than I have been in awhile.
So yes, I'll wait for my love story to happen...but till that day comes, the world is my oyster