Monday, May 23, 2011 @Monday, May 23, 2011
I cannot go through this again. I cannot sit through this roller coaster of emotions again. I can't let someone run my life like that. I'm soo ruled by emotions.
I can't do this....
I don't know what to do...
Thursday, May 19, 2011 @Thursday, May 19, 2011
Did you ever fall for someone you know you shouldn't?
Try hard to fight your feelings, but you just couldn't?
You fall deeper with each passing day,
But try to hide it in every possible way.
He's only a friend, and nothing else--
That's the lie you keeping telling yourself.
You keep on saying he's just a bud,
But deep inside, you're falling in love.
You get so giddy when you meet his eyes,
But keep reminding yourself it isn't right.
A simple glance turns into a stare,
But you pretned that you don't care.
It's "not right" for you two to be.
Is that why you hide it so no one can see?
But how long will you pretend?
Keep lying that he's just a friend?
Perhaps your feelings you can never show.
Perhaps it's "wrong" for him to know.
Your friendship can't be risked over this,
So being his girl is an impossible wish...
unknown
Sunday, May 15, 2011 @Sunday, May 15, 2011
People always tell me that I deserve someone good, someone who will take care of me and the list of what people think I need goes on and on. But sometimes I really wonder if thats what I deserve.
I used to believe that two people could love each other to overcome anything. But of late, I don't have that faith, at least not for myself. Its not that I think I'm unlovable. I just think that there's so much that I bring along with me into everything, my friends and their issues especially, that it's almost impossible for one person to help me and love me despite it all. I know I'm most probably saying this cause I'm hurt, but for now, its what I believe. No matter how narrow-minded that may seem.
It just hurts when someone tells you they love you, then just ignores you after. Its like a rug has been pulled from under you. My heart has felt so heavy, but I know that when I'm out of my room and around people I have to plaster that smile on my face. People need me to be able to help them and being in this state helps no one.
But simply leaving this feeling aside and moving on with my day, it just seems so fake, so wrong. It makes me feel like I'm running away from how I feel, leaving this open and un-ended.
For once, I want to meet someone who when they say they love me, really does and doesn't run away just cause I have tough days and wants to seek some comfort from them.
Sometimes I feel like telling people how I feel is a mistake. No one seems to truly care. Its like they pretend to listen so that at the end of the day I feel somewhat better so that I can help them with my issues.
Monday, May 02, 2011 @Monday, May 02, 2011
If I'm just a play thing to you, then don't waste my time a well as yours. I like you, your person, not your body alone. If you were incapable of a decent conversation, I wouldn't like you as much. If you're telling me that you care for me because you want to get in my pants, then don't waste your time, I'm not going to sleep with you.
I'm someone who feels so much more than what any one person should be capable of feeling.
I can't take falling for you then realizing that this was all just a game for you. The last guy I let in so completely left me stranded and alone, and I can't take that happening to me yet again. The last time it happened, I was so incapable of moving forward with my life. I'm just getting back on my feet. Just moving forward again after years of just standing in that same spot.
Everyday I pray that I don't fall for you because I'm afraid of the power that that would give you over me.
There's only two ways that this can go in my mind, we either both like each other enough to be serious about giving this a shot, or we just forget this all right here, right now.
I could possibly love you, maybe not now, but somewhere down the road. But if getting with as many girls as possible is your main objective, then count me out because then I wouldn't want anything to do with you. I don't just want to be another notch on your belt, its not how this works for me, because you already mean more than just that to me. If its not the same for you, then lets just call it quits right here,right now, before either of us gets hurt.
I am completely capable of being faithful to just one person, are you?