Monday, December 31, 2007
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Do the things you love or Love the things you do.
I'll learn to love the things that I do so that it will not be a pain in the ass for me. Well at least for the time being I think I am choosing a path that I like and will enjoy doing. So when I'm really in it, I will develop the love for it.
God bless Janet.
I think I will turn crazy... I just wanna talk.
God bless Janet.
I think I will turn crazy... I just wanna talk.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
TTP Xmas Potluck Party Pics!
Thump Thump Pack 10 Years of Friendship.....
Almost a decade ago... our first few chalet gatherings. I have no idea what we were running after. This photo was the highlight of the potluck party!
Too bad that Erin is not in the picture. Well this was taken not too long ago.
There you have it... the Thump Thump Pack family. 7girls and 7 guys... opps less one guy...
Chinese New Year Potluck Party.
2006 Potluck, Yellow was the theme. Evidently.
2007 Christmas Potluck Party ---> Theme: TTP 1o years of friendship!
TTP family.
Boyfriend and I
The tough club memebers.
The oldest got the honour of being the first to draw for the present : )
And..... She got Monica's present! Btw... I will never never forget that Moni was my best partner in school cos I would always pretend to be doing some serious thinking while my head was tilted in a way that faced away from Mr. Soh (our maths teacher). So Moni's job was to give me a nudge on the albow if Mr. Soh were to walk towards us and I would wake up from my la la land. Haha. Yes, those were the days.
So I got a calender from her! Let's bring our friendship into a brand new year! That's another year added to our long 10years.
I uploaded this picture because... (take a look at the top left hand corner of the cardboard that's me!) I'm in the picture too. :P
And Huixian got my pressie.
A little clock on a small notice board which she can pin our photos on. Why a clock? Cos our friendship is timeless. : )
All the presents for the night.
The chocolate banana logcake.
TTP again.
Almost a decade ago... our first few chalet gatherings. I have no idea what we were running after. This photo was the highlight of the potluck party!
Too bad that Erin is not in the picture. Well this was taken not too long ago.
There you have it... the Thump Thump Pack family. 7girls and 7 guys... opps less one guy...
Chinese New Year Potluck Party.
2006 Potluck, Yellow was the theme. Evidently.2007 Christmas Potluck Party ---> Theme: TTP 1o years of friendship!
TTP family.
Boyfriend and I
The tough club memebers.
The oldest got the honour of being the first to draw for the present : )
And..... She got Monica's present! Btw... I will never never forget that Moni was my best partner in school cos I would always pretend to be doing some serious thinking while my head was tilted in a way that faced away from Mr. Soh (our maths teacher). So Moni's job was to give me a nudge on the albow if Mr. Soh were to walk towards us and I would wake up from my la la land. Haha. Yes, those were the days.
So I got a calender from her! Let's bring our friendship into a brand new year! That's another year added to our long 10years.
I uploaded this picture because... (take a look at the top left hand corner of the cardboard that's me!) I'm in the picture too. :P
And Huixian got my pressie.
A little clock on a small notice board which she can pin our photos on. Why a clock? Cos our friendship is timeless. : )
All the presents for the night.
The chocolate banana logcake.
TTP again.Friday, December 28, 2007
Sweet Thump Thump Gathering
The Thump Thump gathering never failed to send a sweet, cozy feeling to my heart. Even though we do not meet up as often, well at least I do not get to see most of them on a frequent basis, I am really glad that the friendships still hold as strongly as ever. My boyfriend will always be my boyfriend and my gang is always there.... You just know that things will always be in place with them, the feel never changed, people are still that crappy and fun-loving.
It was awesome to see some of the gifts that they have prepared. Honestly, the theme-10yrs of friendship, is so freaking hard to keep to. God... when I got that msg, I was seriously cursing MH for coming up with such a tough theme. That said, one still has to give credit to his thoughtfulness. I'll upload the pictures when TTP sends them to me.
I got my barang barang... quite excited about the goodie bag. Bless me when I go for my "slimming" sessions.
Can I lament at the fact that I am still being traumatised by what happened yesterday? sigh. It's really silly of me to cry over it. Let me just clarify that the tears shed are not for the people involved but for the minute hope whichI HAD for this four letter word which starts with the letter after k.
It was awesome to see some of the gifts that they have prepared. Honestly, the theme-10yrs of friendship, is so freaking hard to keep to. God... when I got that msg, I was seriously cursing MH for coming up with such a tough theme. That said, one still has to give credit to his thoughtfulness. I'll upload the pictures when TTP sends them to me.
I got my barang barang... quite excited about the goodie bag. Bless me when I go for my "slimming" sessions.
Can I lament at the fact that I am still being traumatised by what happened yesterday? sigh. It's really silly of me to cry over it. Let me just clarify that the tears shed are not for the people involved but for the minute hope whichI HAD for this four letter word which starts with the letter after k.
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Lost
I'll get used to the fact that I've lost a friend. One that really upset me because of how close we were. At least I hope it's just one.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Upsetting Game
I'm frustrated with myself. The game was upsetting. I donno how well I did. But even if I did put in my best, it was definitely not good enough because the team lost terribly. So it doesn't matter if I improve or not.
I guess I'm upset because no one was there to tell me what to do. There was a big lacking in communication. I wished that she had screamed at me, left or right. A couple of times, the opponent just went pass me and I could have intercepted had I known her move. But then again, who knows.
If only I have a little more time to train, be a little bit faster, jump a little bit higher, learn to read the game a little bit smarter..... but nobody understands the frustration that I have. Nobody knows how serious I am with the game.
How can one expect others to put in the same attitude when clearly everybody has their own set of goal. I just want to play for a team who wants to play competitively and improve together.
It's going to burn me out one day.
The Bottom Line
There is a big difference between giving up and resigning yourself to things.
In Detail
The events around you today will have a life of their own, and trying to shape them into a better form is going to be a big waste of your time -- so don't even try. Do not worry about being labeled a quitter -- there is a big difference between giving up and resigning yourself to accepting things as they are, and you know it. Life is too short to tackle battles that are pointless. So just ride out the day, focusing on the things that you can control -- like your sunny disposition.
Great even the horoscope says that. I'm fucking done with the team?
I guess I'm upset because no one was there to tell me what to do. There was a big lacking in communication. I wished that she had screamed at me, left or right. A couple of times, the opponent just went pass me and I could have intercepted had I known her move. But then again, who knows.
If only I have a little more time to train, be a little bit faster, jump a little bit higher, learn to read the game a little bit smarter..... but nobody understands the frustration that I have. Nobody knows how serious I am with the game.
How can one expect others to put in the same attitude when clearly everybody has their own set of goal. I just want to play for a team who wants to play competitively and improve together.
It's going to burn me out one day.
The Bottom Line
There is a big difference between giving up and resigning yourself to things.
In Detail
The events around you today will have a life of their own, and trying to shape them into a better form is going to be a big waste of your time -- so don't even try. Do not worry about being labeled a quitter -- there is a big difference between giving up and resigning yourself to accepting things as they are, and you know it. Life is too short to tackle battles that are pointless. So just ride out the day, focusing on the things that you can control -- like your sunny disposition.
Great even the horoscope says that. I'm fucking done with the team?
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Strange...
Have you ever had the feeling that you really miss someone so badly but have no idea who that person is?
It gives my heart a strange tingling feeling... as though it has a little bit too much of sour juice.
It gives my heart a strange tingling feeling... as though it has a little bit too much of sour juice.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Injury
I sprained my right ankle while playing defender. This girl came dashing into my area, bang into me and wualah... my precious haven't been sprained for a long time ankle got twisted. I remained in my squating position, until people came in to help.... the other girl. Coincidentally she sprained hers too. According to Low, if I wasn't there to support that girl with my back, her fall would have been a terrible one. Great. I was in immerse pain so was she. Nobody knew that I was injured except my WD since she was the only one who saw how bad my twist was.
Until then, I found out how I hate to reveal my weakness. Whenever I fall, I'd either laugh it off and/or picked myself up and continue with the game. Same went for just now. I don't know why when my WD told me to take the bench I replied her with a smile that I still could make it and that I have been in worse situation. Perhaps it was the determination to continue with the game as I was a little frustrated with myself for not being able to play a good game the entire night. I was searching hard for the game's breaking point.
Anyhow, I came back with a painful ankle only to realised that it was really a bad sprain.
You might wonder how can someone reach the ultimate level of cynism, well my answer is simple: this world has taught me so much about disloyalty, betrayal, being faithless and selfishness.
Until then, I found out how I hate to reveal my weakness. Whenever I fall, I'd either laugh it off and/or picked myself up and continue with the game. Same went for just now. I don't know why when my WD told me to take the bench I replied her with a smile that I still could make it and that I have been in worse situation. Perhaps it was the determination to continue with the game as I was a little frustrated with myself for not being able to play a good game the entire night. I was searching hard for the game's breaking point.
Anyhow, I came back with a painful ankle only to realised that it was really a bad sprain.
You might wonder how can someone reach the ultimate level of cynism, well my answer is simple: this world has taught me so much about disloyalty, betrayal, being faithless and selfishness.
Desolation Within
Darkness falls around me, swirling at my feet,
the shadows ask me questions, their secrets I must keep.
The coldness that I feel inside, keeps my body numb,
but for the thoughts of loneliness, nothing can be done.
In the fog surrounding me, all conscious thought is lost,
I can not tell what's real or not, my mind's a tangled knot.
I'm full of thoughts I can't retain, all I feel is guilt and shame,
I've begun to feel all hope is lost, someone stop the pain.
The wind blows on my tear stained face, calling out to me,
always it's reminding me of what I cannot be.
I try so hard from day to day, but I can't seem to find my way.
I can't control these thoughts that rise, the torment comes from deep inside.
My broken heart is shattered, a pain that knows no end,
the shards of glass they slice me through, I'm bleeding from within.
Confused and fearful every day, no one deserves to live this way.
Forgive me if I want to go, the pain's beyond all you know.
the shadows ask me questions, their secrets I must keep.
The coldness that I feel inside, keeps my body numb,
but for the thoughts of loneliness, nothing can be done.
In the fog surrounding me, all conscious thought is lost,
I can not tell what's real or not, my mind's a tangled knot.
I'm full of thoughts I can't retain, all I feel is guilt and shame,
I've begun to feel all hope is lost, someone stop the pain.
The wind blows on my tear stained face, calling out to me,
always it's reminding me of what I cannot be.
I try so hard from day to day, but I can't seem to find my way.
I can't control these thoughts that rise, the torment comes from deep inside.
My broken heart is shattered, a pain that knows no end,
the shards of glass they slice me through, I'm bleeding from within.
Confused and fearful every day, no one deserves to live this way.
Forgive me if I want to go, the pain's beyond all you know.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Being haunted...
It feels like walking in a desert, it doesn't matter which direction one follows. Ultimately the end result is the same. Nowhere. Trapped. Being confined because it is not a vast plain of sand, but a box filled with silica. Walking alone, aimlessly, timelessly without purpose. The longer one walks, the more lethargic one feels. Then, the pain of isolation kicks in. One wonders why did it all happen? How did it all happened? Without any realisation that it has already solidified, much like shapeless, semi-liquidfied cement turning to hard cold concrete. Screaming in desperate need to escape from desolation. For it is a slow torture which only brings death. Not to the physical body as one only wishes but the annihilation of hope, faith and love.
Monday, December 10, 2007
My NTC friends
Big smiles always brighten up my days.
(glenda... faint...)
Our little Sunday outing... it was really fun.
(glenda... faint...)
Our little Sunday outing... it was really fun.
The sin of feeling contented
Contentment robs my will to fight.
It erodes the ability to know what is better.
It removes the possibility of owning the best.
I will not succumb to contentment.
It erodes the ability to know what is better.
It removes the possibility of owning the best.
I will not succumb to contentment.
New year resolution
To challenge myself to the max.
Impossible is nothing.
I will rise up to the occasion.
Pride over regrets.
Hail to her highness. Yeah!
ps: fuck temptations and the other four letter word.
Impossible is nothing.
I will rise up to the occasion.
Pride over regrets.
Hail to her highness. Yeah!
ps: fuck temptations and the other four letter word.
Saturday, December 08, 2007
Cast away
I feel that I've casted myself away from what others would call, one's social circle. Is this a fact of life that when one gets older, naturally one's number of friends depletes? Or is it just me? Not that my number of my friends becomes smaller.
It could be due to the working environment, society by enlarge. At this age, most of my friends are already in the working force, whereby some fights the harsh working politics in the finance area, as for other luckier ones still "attend school" while drawing decent salary from the white angels. Being in different environment shapes the character and the thinking of people. Unlike school time when we had care-free life, all that we talked about were school work, cca and perhaps some tv programmes.
Now, I find it so hard to find someone who shares the same wavelength with me. I have been complaining about this issue since the day I knew that "asshole" was leaving for Australia. I finally I understand why is it that I seek comfort in her company (notice the present tense :P).
Michelle always teases me for not having a life. On the contrary, I'd like to think that my life has mellowed down. I prefer playing ball to walking aimlessly in town. I enjoy good family company rather than going out with friends for the sake of going out. I'd rather swim on weekends than shop in town. That said, I still like supper gathering with my buddies, seafood dinner in JB etc. I still hold my motto close to heart at this point in time, that is "to see and to be seen". hehe.
Let's all hope that when more years are added onto my age, I will not be like Tom Hank whose only friend was Wilson. Or perhaps mine would be Molten. (choy)
It could be due to the working environment, society by enlarge. At this age, most of my friends are already in the working force, whereby some fights the harsh working politics in the finance area, as for other luckier ones still "attend school" while drawing decent salary from the white angels. Being in different environment shapes the character and the thinking of people. Unlike school time when we had care-free life, all that we talked about were school work, cca and perhaps some tv programmes.
Now, I find it so hard to find someone who shares the same wavelength with me. I have been complaining about this issue since the day I knew that "asshole" was leaving for Australia. I finally I understand why is it that I seek comfort in her company (notice the present tense :P).
Michelle always teases me for not having a life. On the contrary, I'd like to think that my life has mellowed down. I prefer playing ball to walking aimlessly in town. I enjoy good family company rather than going out with friends for the sake of going out. I'd rather swim on weekends than shop in town. That said, I still like supper gathering with my buddies, seafood dinner in JB etc. I still hold my motto close to heart at this point in time, that is "to see and to be seen". hehe.
Let's all hope that when more years are added onto my age, I will not be like Tom Hank whose only friend was Wilson. Or perhaps mine would be Molten. (choy)
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
A walk to remember
It will never change regardless of the bullshit theories of mine. The more I retreat, the higher my defensive wall is, the colder I become. It only aches more when I am finally sober. Underneath my cold hard cover lies the true belief that I hate to admit or even think about. However, like a leech, it has never left. Not even by an inch.
I came home feeling damn lethargic, thinking that I could go to bed early at 8pm. But Edwin was playing this movie which I watched 5 years ago in a lecture theatre. I couldn't control my tears, they kept flowing. They couldn't stop for some strange reason. It made me feel so small, almost insignificant. So much so that I wish to fade away.
I wish the story was true.
-----------------------------
I'll always remember
It was late afternoon
It lasted forever
And ended so soon
-----------------------------
Some people spend their whole life searching for the moment just to have it for awhile. Yet some others never found it at all.
I came home feeling damn lethargic, thinking that I could go to bed early at 8pm. But Edwin was playing this movie which I watched 5 years ago in a lecture theatre. I couldn't control my tears, they kept flowing. They couldn't stop for some strange reason. It made me feel so small, almost insignificant. So much so that I wish to fade away.
I wish the story was true.
-----------------------------
I'll always remember
It was late afternoon
It lasted forever
And ended so soon
-----------------------------
Some people spend their whole life searching for the moment just to have it for awhile. Yet some others never found it at all.
Sunday, December 02, 2007
Christmas Phobia
For some weird reason, my favourite Christmas song is Wham's Last Christmas. It's not a very happy festive song but I'm just drawn to it naturally. I guess it is because it encapsulates the whole meaning of being with your love one during Christmas. It's a time to share joy but being without the person you that you love is just awefully painful. Oh well... love to me is nothing but a knife through my heart.
This year, its gonna be special. I'm gonna make Christmas special for myself. =)
All I want for Christmas is you.
*wink*
This year, its gonna be special. I'm gonna make Christmas special for myself. =)
All I want for Christmas is you.
*wink*
Saturday, December 01, 2007
Phone Photos!
Suan, Char and I at Ikea. Suan was getting her goodbye gifts for her ex colleagues. Nothing beats a gorgoeus smile by us *wink*
Me in my Zara wear at Fullerton. Something that will kill Glenda. haha. By the way try to spot that unglam Michelle. (evil laughter fades off in the background...) 
I like wearing pj cos I look cute in it. (duh)
Tanning in Sentosa. Argh. I miss tannng and I think I badly need one so that it can cover the stupid sticker patch on my left arm. Btw, I'm quite a camwhore (evidently).
My family in the States.
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