i think this is the earliest that ive woken up from a long sleep.
the reason for such rare occasion is the guilt that i have in me. anyway it all boils down to one fucking bitch at work. i dont fucking care if she or anybody in the head office is spying on my blog or not. its really irritating to see someone claiming credits when most of the time she is avoiding chores. i'm not saying that she doesnt work. i'm just saying that she picks and chooses what to do. so if that makes a person hardworking (gosh i cant believe my store manager actually said that), it shows how fucking unfair the world can be. well i cant blame those who are blinded by girly girls' actions.
adding on to that is my result. my pathetic result. i felt so fucking stupid. i actually got a fucking B- for strategic management. and i had to check my result in the store. kns. my tummy was already filled with rage and when the disappointment set in, i almost wanted to break down.
on the brighter side, i am not alone fighting agaisnt the bitch. well then again, when it comes to the fighting part i think im alone. but many other girls feel the same towards her. i think i understand why. what can we do when the bitch is the boss's pet? sigh.
knnbccb.
so when she called, which was at a wrong time, i told her i'd call her back because i was fighting with edward. and i happily went to bed when i was done with my stuff. i ended up receiving multiple msges while i was away in la la land. until i woke up at 5 plus and found out that she was still awake, waiting. kinda stupid i must say. thats when i was hit by my guilt. sigh.
Friday, December 29, 2006
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
27th December 06, Wednesday 2:14am
i am lost in love, desire and needs.
that's what my bb msged me. how fucking true. what will i become without her, jy and char? i find that my true laughters are the products of their efforts. efforts that come naturally to them. i find that these are the only people who can and will offer me a balance view of my life.
jy was right that i think and complain too much when in fact i should learn how to appreciate my life a little better. there are far worse life than mine. in reality, i should be contented with my life as there are many things to be happy about. strangely, she's right. i was blinded by my self obsessed thoughts.
then there's my bb who never fails to give me words of wisdom. advice which i ought to hear and not what i wanna hear. she's the only one who made me feel so much better and smile after the cruel mistake that i had made.
char's the only who understands my weird philosophy of life. the only one who understands my current needs. the one who not only seconds my action but actively encourages it. (pls slap her and ask her to shut up) and the one and only who makes me burst into laughter in their room when i was feeling all so gloomy and out of place mentally.
i cant say how much i love you all. if love takes eternity to find me, it's all right to me. cos you girls have given me one that is so amazing and warming.
*muack*
But when you touch me like this
And you hold me like that
I just have to admit
That it's all coming back to me
When I touch you like this
And I hold you like that
It's so hard to believe but
It's all coming back to me
It's all coming back
It's all coming back to me now
that's what my bb msged me. how fucking true. what will i become without her, jy and char? i find that my true laughters are the products of their efforts. efforts that come naturally to them. i find that these are the only people who can and will offer me a balance view of my life.
jy was right that i think and complain too much when in fact i should learn how to appreciate my life a little better. there are far worse life than mine. in reality, i should be contented with my life as there are many things to be happy about. strangely, she's right. i was blinded by my self obsessed thoughts.
then there's my bb who never fails to give me words of wisdom. advice which i ought to hear and not what i wanna hear. she's the only one who made me feel so much better and smile after the cruel mistake that i had made.
char's the only who understands my weird philosophy of life. the only one who understands my current needs. the one who not only seconds my action but actively encourages it. (pls slap her and ask her to shut up) and the one and only who makes me burst into laughter in their room when i was feeling all so gloomy and out of place mentally.
i cant say how much i love you all. if love takes eternity to find me, it's all right to me. cos you girls have given me one that is so amazing and warming.
*muack*
But when you touch me like this
And you hold me like that
I just have to admit
That it's all coming back to me
When I touch you like this
And I hold you like that
It's so hard to believe but
It's all coming back to me
It's all coming back
It's all coming back to me now
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
26th December 06, Tuesday 6:34pm
Horoscope for the day:
The Bottom Line
Step out of your comfort zone and experience a little bit of conflict right now.
In Detail
Spending so much time with like-minded people has been great for the harmony in your life, but it hasn't been too intellectually stimulating. Today, take some time to get into a scholarly debate -- or at least eavesdrop on a conversation you would never have yourself. You should definitely not go out looking for a fight, but it would not be a bad idea to step out of your comfort zone and experience a little bit of conflict right now. It will strengthen your resolve.
i'm so not ready to deal with any conflicts now. no matter how small it could be.
christmas is never fun for me since my 18th birthday. i wonder when will it ever change. if i remember correctly, i spent the past few christmas crying or tearing. the last that i recall, i was standing in a church tearing away wondering what my life was about and how would it turn out to be. fucking screwed up life. it remains the same or perhaps has deteriorated a little.
self proclaim off day for the day, yet again. for obvious reason that i know myself. decision seconded by someone who does not really matter.
i'm just fucking numb. figuratively and literrally. that is it depends on what i'm talking about.
i miss my bf. if i think a little harder, i might tear. i might sob. i might cry. i miss her so much. i think i kinda screwed things up. i didnt know what i was doing. how i fucking wish that she's in singapore to slap me or scream at me.
i was in the car, looking out at the rain. blankness was in my head. oh no... i was struggling between msging or not msging my bb. if i were to msg, what should i say? i think i screwed up my life? no. i dont think i exactly screwed up my life. its just that i realise i've proven myself that my cynicalness and skepticalness have been brought to the next level. going around doubting others is not fun at all. doing things for the sake of doing, without feeling anything is just sickeningly disgusting. the worst part of it is when the numbness was so overwhelming that guilt was somehow being kept in a box and was thrown to an unkown land.
if you ask me have i changed? yes i have. no doubt. no reason for me to deny either.
i was told that being in the f&b line will make someone hot tempered. pretty true. cos i have lost my tolenrance within this 3months. i scold fuck more than i eat a day. probably i'll upgrade to nabei very soon. then to cibai. and i cant stop bitching. why cant ppl do the right thing for once for me? dont make me seem bossy. i dont wanna feel that i'm always right, telling ppl what to do and how to do it. it irritates the hell out of me when they dont see my point. it frustrates me even more when i see ppl heading towards the wall, yet i'm so helpless to that. i forsee one day, when i lose total control of my temper, i might just walk out.
i'm staying because i want the money. i need the money. ray agreed that things have changed alot. within the 3 months. ppl come and go. worse of all, we cant stand girly girls working. true enough sex sells. alot. but what's the point of recruiting barbie doll faces when they cant be bothered to do more. even when they do, they do it superficially. sometimes bimbos like them would say things before thinking twice. how apt it was when ray simplified it all in one sentence,
"ta men jiu bao bei lah... wo men jiu cheap skate lah."
if you're too weak to wash the wafer machine, it doesnt mean that you dont have to wash it. what makes you think im strong enough for everything? I WAS FUCKING TRAINED in that 3 months. and you call yourself someone from the earlier batch than i am??? its funny that you even dare to ask me that question.
if you think that you dont know how to do certain stuff, it doesnt mean that you dont have to learn how to do it. so what if edmund pours the water for you everytime you wash? i didnt know how to lift the lever and guess what? i had to pour the smelly water pail by pail.
poor ray. i can so understand her situation. its just fucking unfair.
its even more unfair when someone thinks they have the model look.
often i ask myself why am i not the girly girl. maybe i deh abit, i dont have to wash the wafer machine. i dont have to change all the ice cream bulks by myself. i dont have to do the opening when i'm going in for closing. maybe i deh abit more, then i can have more self proclaim off days. who cares about the other scoopies when they dont give a fuck to my shift?
f&b industry = full of shit.
i'll be a little more sarcastic next time. dont blame me.
maybe that's why theo is like tat.
The Bottom Line
Step out of your comfort zone and experience a little bit of conflict right now.
In Detail
Spending so much time with like-minded people has been great for the harmony in your life, but it hasn't been too intellectually stimulating. Today, take some time to get into a scholarly debate -- or at least eavesdrop on a conversation you would never have yourself. You should definitely not go out looking for a fight, but it would not be a bad idea to step out of your comfort zone and experience a little bit of conflict right now. It will strengthen your resolve.
i'm so not ready to deal with any conflicts now. no matter how small it could be.
christmas is never fun for me since my 18th birthday. i wonder when will it ever change. if i remember correctly, i spent the past few christmas crying or tearing. the last that i recall, i was standing in a church tearing away wondering what my life was about and how would it turn out to be. fucking screwed up life. it remains the same or perhaps has deteriorated a little.
self proclaim off day for the day, yet again. for obvious reason that i know myself. decision seconded by someone who does not really matter.
i'm just fucking numb. figuratively and literrally. that is it depends on what i'm talking about.
i miss my bf. if i think a little harder, i might tear. i might sob. i might cry. i miss her so much. i think i kinda screwed things up. i didnt know what i was doing. how i fucking wish that she's in singapore to slap me or scream at me.
i was in the car, looking out at the rain. blankness was in my head. oh no... i was struggling between msging or not msging my bb. if i were to msg, what should i say? i think i screwed up my life? no. i dont think i exactly screwed up my life. its just that i realise i've proven myself that my cynicalness and skepticalness have been brought to the next level. going around doubting others is not fun at all. doing things for the sake of doing, without feeling anything is just sickeningly disgusting. the worst part of it is when the numbness was so overwhelming that guilt was somehow being kept in a box and was thrown to an unkown land.
if you ask me have i changed? yes i have. no doubt. no reason for me to deny either.
i was told that being in the f&b line will make someone hot tempered. pretty true. cos i have lost my tolenrance within this 3months. i scold fuck more than i eat a day. probably i'll upgrade to nabei very soon. then to cibai. and i cant stop bitching. why cant ppl do the right thing for once for me? dont make me seem bossy. i dont wanna feel that i'm always right, telling ppl what to do and how to do it. it irritates the hell out of me when they dont see my point. it frustrates me even more when i see ppl heading towards the wall, yet i'm so helpless to that. i forsee one day, when i lose total control of my temper, i might just walk out.
i'm staying because i want the money. i need the money. ray agreed that things have changed alot. within the 3 months. ppl come and go. worse of all, we cant stand girly girls working. true enough sex sells. alot. but what's the point of recruiting barbie doll faces when they cant be bothered to do more. even when they do, they do it superficially. sometimes bimbos like them would say things before thinking twice. how apt it was when ray simplified it all in one sentence,
"ta men jiu bao bei lah... wo men jiu cheap skate lah."
if you're too weak to wash the wafer machine, it doesnt mean that you dont have to wash it. what makes you think im strong enough for everything? I WAS FUCKING TRAINED in that 3 months. and you call yourself someone from the earlier batch than i am??? its funny that you even dare to ask me that question.
if you think that you dont know how to do certain stuff, it doesnt mean that you dont have to learn how to do it. so what if edmund pours the water for you everytime you wash? i didnt know how to lift the lever and guess what? i had to pour the smelly water pail by pail.
poor ray. i can so understand her situation. its just fucking unfair.
its even more unfair when someone thinks they have the model look.
often i ask myself why am i not the girly girl. maybe i deh abit, i dont have to wash the wafer machine. i dont have to change all the ice cream bulks by myself. i dont have to do the opening when i'm going in for closing. maybe i deh abit more, then i can have more self proclaim off days. who cares about the other scoopies when they dont give a fuck to my shift?
f&b industry = full of shit.
i'll be a little more sarcastic next time. dont blame me.
maybe that's why theo is like tat.
Sunday, December 24, 2006
24th December 06, Sunday 3:36am
There were nights when the wind was so cold
That my body froze in bed
If i just listened to it
Right outside the window
There were days when the sun was so cruel
That all the tears turned to dust
And i just knew my eyes were
Drying up forever
I finished crying in the instant that you left
And i can't remember where or when or how
And i banished every memory you and i had ever made
That my body froze in bed
If i just listened to it
Right outside the window
There were days when the sun was so cruel
That all the tears turned to dust
And i just knew my eyes were
Drying up forever
I finished crying in the instant that you left
And i can't remember where or when or how
And i banished every memory you and i had ever made
Saturday, December 23, 2006
23rd December 06, Saturday 1:02am
pissed off day.
xh asked char to SHUT UP.
but after what her pearly told her, apparently she has a different point of view now. (shall let my guardian angels know asap...)
and she msged again.
i still keep my words.
xh asked char to SHUT UP.
but after what her pearly told her, apparently she has a different point of view now. (shall let my guardian angels know asap...)
and she msged again.
i still keep my words.
Friday, December 22, 2006
22nd December 06, Friday 3:57am
cant believe that i actually stopped blogging for almost 10days. it started off as a bluff. jy, char, suan and i lied to our dearest fren, who was in aus then, that we went to bangkok together. so if we were in bangkok, i couldnt blog at all because there was no internet connection for me to do so. i had a pretty hard time pulling myself away from the com during those few days. as days passed by, i got pretty used to it, 3 days became 10 days...
many things happened when i was away from my blog.
if anyone is remotely interested in my life at all, try to grasp as many information as you can. cos it'll all be in random. *wink*
jy and char came back from bangkok and i got a total of 5 items from them. how lovely of them.
1. a rainbow hat
2. a green bag
3. a red bull singlet
4. a necklace
5. a cosmetic pouch
i love them all.
xh came back for just one day and we had a great bbq at jy's place even though it poured the whole freaking day. i ended up crying cos i couldnt bare to see her go AGAIN (into the arms of another girl.....haha). the person i cried to asked the funniest question of the day...
"are you sure she's just your best friend?"
"yes. 100% positive. i love her in a friend kinda way. i am sooooo not sexually attracted to her."
my protective bb sent me 2 msges in the morning. how weird it is that she knows when to send the right kinda msg. i didnt reply her though. one, i didnt know what to reply. two, i was too shocked to react. ok i realise both can be put together.
i know i'd sure get msges again when my protective friends read the following. (ok.. bring it on)
closed late tonight. walked down to her work place and waited for her to finish her work. it took quite awhile and i fell aslp in her office without even realising. we had mun tong gei. donno why i just had craving for that chicken rice.
i thought i'm the only one leaving.
nah. she's going aus. next month.
char, SHUT UP.
many things happened when i was away from my blog.
if anyone is remotely interested in my life at all, try to grasp as many information as you can. cos it'll all be in random. *wink*
jy and char came back from bangkok and i got a total of 5 items from them. how lovely of them.
1. a rainbow hat
2. a green bag
3. a red bull singlet
4. a necklace
5. a cosmetic pouch
i love them all.
xh came back for just one day and we had a great bbq at jy's place even though it poured the whole freaking day. i ended up crying cos i couldnt bare to see her go AGAIN (into the arms of another girl.....haha). the person i cried to asked the funniest question of the day...
"are you sure she's just your best friend?"
"yes. 100% positive. i love her in a friend kinda way. i am sooooo not sexually attracted to her."
my protective bb sent me 2 msges in the morning. how weird it is that she knows when to send the right kinda msg. i didnt reply her though. one, i didnt know what to reply. two, i was too shocked to react. ok i realise both can be put together.
i know i'd sure get msges again when my protective friends read the following. (ok.. bring it on)
closed late tonight. walked down to her work place and waited for her to finish her work. it took quite awhile and i fell aslp in her office without even realising. we had mun tong gei. donno why i just had craving for that chicken rice.
i thought i'm the only one leaving.
nah. she's going aus. next month.
char, SHUT UP.
Monday, December 11, 2006
11th December 06, Monday 9:57pm
ok i'm going to chop chop get this done and go to bed...
when one is in a particular state for too long, gradually he/she will develop a comfort zone. just like what i'm having now. its difficult for me to get out of it, i'm not even sure whether i wanna get out of it. i'm a little hasitant when it comes to trying something new. come to think of it, its nothing new at all. in fact i have gone through it. its just ARGH. what have i gotten myself into, yet again.
i have many protective friends. and i'm so grateful to them all.
i love you ppl.
*muack*
when one is in a particular state for too long, gradually he/she will develop a comfort zone. just like what i'm having now. its difficult for me to get out of it, i'm not even sure whether i wanna get out of it. i'm a little hasitant when it comes to trying something new. come to think of it, its nothing new at all. in fact i have gone through it. its just ARGH. what have i gotten myself into, yet again.
i have many protective friends. and i'm so grateful to them all.
i love you ppl.
*muack*
11th December 06, Monday 12:54pm
self-declared off day today. cos i've lost my voice. its pretty sexy now. hahaha.
got my schedule from jason. argh. i'm only working 3days. kns. why cant jason just put me on tuesday? i want money! i need money! shit. 3days are kinda little for me.
anyhow... xh msged me again. kinda nice to hear from her when i'm facing problems. its comforting to have her advising me.
mich msged me again. argh.
other than that, i found out starbuck girl's full name. i have been asking her since the 2nd time back at starbuck studying for my exam. can anyone believe how shocked i was when she told me she's milo? the cheecky me replied, "oh hi milo, i'm horlicks." haha. xh said she'd call herself ovaltine. *_*
anyway milo's real name is just a t less than mine : )
got my schedule from jason. argh. i'm only working 3days. kns. why cant jason just put me on tuesday? i want money! i need money! shit. 3days are kinda little for me.
anyhow... xh msged me again. kinda nice to hear from her when i'm facing problems. its comforting to have her advising me.
mich msged me again. argh.
other than that, i found out starbuck girl's full name. i have been asking her since the 2nd time back at starbuck studying for my exam. can anyone believe how shocked i was when she told me she's milo? the cheecky me replied, "oh hi milo, i'm horlicks." haha. xh said she'd call herself ovaltine. *_*
anyway milo's real name is just a t less than mine : )
Sunday, December 10, 2006
10th December 06, Sunday 9:40am
i wanted to sleep so badly (actually i still wanna slp and am going to soon), yet i knew for sure that once i bathe, i wont konk out straight. for one, i dont want my damp hair to wet my feather pillow. anyway, the shower kinda woke me up from my zombie state.
okie lets do a super duper long entry while drying my semi-long hair which i am going to cut next thursday.
it all started on friday...
char, jieyun and i were waiting for bus 16 to get our asses down to kallang for training. and, as usual, that couple did stuff that was pretty sweet in front of me. however, from a single point of view, it was argh-too-mushy-save-it-for-the-bed-room acts. well... we (char and i) were in the mids of our conversation and out of no where jy just popped out and kissed char on her cheek. okie okie... yes...it was cutey cutey sweet. guess what was my reaction? looked up at the sky, pointed my index finger at it for a mere second, clamped hands together and made a wish.
"please please i need a girlfriend!"
"someone who plays netball is even better. so that she can join us for training."
you have no idea how much i've seen throughout these period of time when i'm their light bulb. dont start saying that i deserve every little annoyance when i can always choose not to be around them. the ironic part is that i love being around them and i enjoy being around them. i figure that the only solution is to remove my jealousy and envy by introducing companionship into my life. haha.
that said, i hope whoever is reading my blog do not start speculating that i'm desperate for a gf though many times i APPEAR to be so. from the bottom of my heart, i am still living life pretty happily being single.
one of the benefit of being single is that you are more observant to your targeted group and get to talk about them pretty openly to your friends. haha. jy and char know that i kinda have this minor crush on tao li. hahaha. yea i know she's from china but on the account that she has this chasrima when she step onto the platform to receive her women 50m butterfly gold medal, i shall live in denial for awhile and continue to be gaga over her. oh.... she is soooooooooo cute! so cute so cute!!!
the never-fail-to-be-mean couple commented that tao li looks like olinda choo! omg. they are so damn pak jiao. gosh. so what came out next from their mouths was, "if you like tao li, that means you're interested in olinda lo. they are of the same kind."
the only thing that i'm interested in olinda is her vitamin M. i'm highly dificient in that. thank you.
like i said, i dont like bak bak! by the way tao li is not flabby bak bak! haha. super unlike that mean couple. ok im being mean here.
not to worry, i told them that it is my goal to make sure that they slim down (by a lot) when xh comes back from US in feb.
anyway moving on from friday...
saturday was zoukout night! my first ever zoukout party. i didnt pay a single cent to party. in fact i was PAID to party. wuahahaha. tk had a stall there. so dearie and i went down to work with a couple of other friends. and we ended up dancing like mad girls.
before heading to sentosa for zoukout, i was actually working in usq. met dearie at borders in town. omg... i couldnt believe that the starbuck girl actually bumbed into us.
dearie and i were on our way to orchard mrt station when someone tapped my shoulder. i turned around and was really surprised to see her. we chatted awhile. and hahaha. she asked for my number. i cant remember what we talked about, only that she was a little disappointed that we didnt go back to starbuck to study. and claire wong happily made a promise that we will go down next week. in any case, she'll do that on her own. haha. as for me, i decided to ask her bout herstory party. haha. getting ppl to go herstory with me.
oh what the fuck. some fucking horny guy tried to grab my butt in zoukout. i knew this kinda thing would happen, didnt actually think that it could be so fucking real. ok who am i kidding. anyway, i donno why my insticnt told me that i gotta be careful. so i put my N70 in my back pocket. that fucking stupid guy grab the phone side. lucky me had my phone as shield. he only managed to grab my phone. but i turned around and stare at one whole bunch of guys, having no idea who that culprit was.super turned off! dearie screamed at them. was really touched. i'm just curious... what is so fun about grabbing ppl's asses for that fucking one second? does it really turn them on? does it make their fucking cock stand or what? fuck man. so fucking perverted. fucking losers. and by the way... wanna grab, check out the girls first before heading for the kill. he's either blind or just too desperate. any normal person with eyes can see that i dont have butt! i hope you know what i mean. my bb always tells me that. I DONT HAVE BUTT! not like jennifer lopez you know. my butt is flat! so where the fuck is the extra meat for you to grab???? S.T.U.P.I.D! maybe its because i put my phone there. it acted like a padding. hahaha. okie... that's stupid again to think that he actually got fooled by my butt padding! wuahahahaah. its new invention. i call it wonder butt.
oh i saw this person that jy, char and i talked bout a few weeks back! i shall not reveal the name but she was once my netball cap in pj!
freak ass. i saw her standing in front of bnj stall. so i looked at her and she looked back. what the fuck. i wont be so nice to say hello to her lor. over my wonder butt ass. she came over and asked if there's water. i replied plainly, "i dont have water, only ice cream." hahahaha. only when she needed something, then would she come to me and asked me.
anyway she knows that she's always mean to me. cos she asked me whether am i a perm staff there and i said "choy" to her.
"you're very mean."
"yea like always."
see.. i didnt make up stories. she's nice to everybody except me.
argh.
not that i really care.
okie lets do a super duper long entry while drying my semi-long hair which i am going to cut next thursday.
it all started on friday...
char, jieyun and i were waiting for bus 16 to get our asses down to kallang for training. and, as usual, that couple did stuff that was pretty sweet in front of me. however, from a single point of view, it was argh-too-mushy-save-it-for-the-bed-room acts. well... we (char and i) were in the mids of our conversation and out of no where jy just popped out and kissed char on her cheek. okie okie... yes...it was cutey cutey sweet. guess what was my reaction? looked up at the sky, pointed my index finger at it for a mere second, clamped hands together and made a wish.
"please please i need a girlfriend!"
"someone who plays netball is even better. so that she can join us for training."
you have no idea how much i've seen throughout these period of time when i'm their light bulb. dont start saying that i deserve every little annoyance when i can always choose not to be around them. the ironic part is that i love being around them and i enjoy being around them. i figure that the only solution is to remove my jealousy and envy by introducing companionship into my life. haha.
that said, i hope whoever is reading my blog do not start speculating that i'm desperate for a gf though many times i APPEAR to be so. from the bottom of my heart, i am still living life pretty happily being single.
one of the benefit of being single is that you are more observant to your targeted group and get to talk about them pretty openly to your friends. haha. jy and char know that i kinda have this minor crush on tao li. hahaha. yea i know she's from china but on the account that she has this chasrima when she step onto the platform to receive her women 50m butterfly gold medal, i shall live in denial for awhile and continue to be gaga over her. oh.... she is soooooooooo cute! so cute so cute!!!
the never-fail-to-be-mean couple commented that tao li looks like olinda choo! omg. they are so damn pak jiao. gosh. so what came out next from their mouths was, "if you like tao li, that means you're interested in olinda lo. they are of the same kind."
the only thing that i'm interested in olinda is her vitamin M. i'm highly dificient in that. thank you.
like i said, i dont like bak bak! by the way tao li is not flabby bak bak! haha. super unlike that mean couple. ok im being mean here.
not to worry, i told them that it is my goal to make sure that they slim down (by a lot) when xh comes back from US in feb.
anyway moving on from friday...
saturday was zoukout night! my first ever zoukout party. i didnt pay a single cent to party. in fact i was PAID to party. wuahahaha. tk had a stall there. so dearie and i went down to work with a couple of other friends. and we ended up dancing like mad girls.
before heading to sentosa for zoukout, i was actually working in usq. met dearie at borders in town. omg... i couldnt believe that the starbuck girl actually bumbed into us.
dearie and i were on our way to orchard mrt station when someone tapped my shoulder. i turned around and was really surprised to see her. we chatted awhile. and hahaha. she asked for my number. i cant remember what we talked about, only that she was a little disappointed that we didnt go back to starbuck to study. and claire wong happily made a promise that we will go down next week. in any case, she'll do that on her own. haha. as for me, i decided to ask her bout herstory party. haha. getting ppl to go herstory with me.
oh what the fuck. some fucking horny guy tried to grab my butt in zoukout. i knew this kinda thing would happen, didnt actually think that it could be so fucking real. ok who am i kidding. anyway, i donno why my insticnt told me that i gotta be careful. so i put my N70 in my back pocket. that fucking stupid guy grab the phone side. lucky me had my phone as shield. he only managed to grab my phone. but i turned around and stare at one whole bunch of guys, having no idea who that culprit was.super turned off! dearie screamed at them. was really touched. i'm just curious... what is so fun about grabbing ppl's asses for that fucking one second? does it really turn them on? does it make their fucking cock stand or what? fuck man. so fucking perverted. fucking losers. and by the way... wanna grab, check out the girls first before heading for the kill. he's either blind or just too desperate. any normal person with eyes can see that i dont have butt! i hope you know what i mean. my bb always tells me that. I DONT HAVE BUTT! not like jennifer lopez you know. my butt is flat! so where the fuck is the extra meat for you to grab???? S.T.U.P.I.D! maybe its because i put my phone there. it acted like a padding. hahaha. okie... that's stupid again to think that he actually got fooled by my butt padding! wuahahahaah. its new invention. i call it wonder butt.
oh i saw this person that jy, char and i talked bout a few weeks back! i shall not reveal the name but she was once my netball cap in pj!
freak ass. i saw her standing in front of bnj stall. so i looked at her and she looked back. what the fuck. i wont be so nice to say hello to her lor. over my wonder butt ass. she came over and asked if there's water. i replied plainly, "i dont have water, only ice cream." hahahaha. only when she needed something, then would she come to me and asked me.
anyway she knows that she's always mean to me. cos she asked me whether am i a perm staff there and i said "choy" to her.
"you're very mean."
"yea like always."
see.. i didnt make up stories. she's nice to everybody except me.
argh.
not that i really care.
Friday, December 08, 2006
8th December 06, Friday 1:22am
its not so easy to close the shop by yourself. stupid customers kept coming in when we were done washing all the stuff by 1030. that was how efficient. however, when those inconsiderate ppl kept coming in to get their cup of ice-cream, we couldnt go home at all! i know under normal circumstances, jason would tell them that we're closed for the night. but sales was really bad, i had no choice but to do that $18 of sales even at 11:05pm. sigh.
had problem printing out all the receipts and filling in the cash reconsiliation paper. well, considering that it was only my second time, i should be forgiven. one of the benefit of getting $x per hour is going home by taxi and i get to claim for it. haha.
i made the nicest cake so far! am damn proud of myself. am going back to cathay tmr to finish up on two other cakes.
netball at night. afterwhich, its back to cathay for closing again.
mich went down to cathay. i know i'm being mean by pretending that i didnt see her. well... if she had come up to me and say hello, i would have obliged to be nice :p
starbuck gave out free drinks from 5 to 7 in the evening. its like a way for them to pay back to the society. and i had 2 drinks! haha. a chocolate cream chip and a berry ice tea or something.
life is great. life is good. life is simply wonderful.
who am i kidding.
time to cut my hair.
made an appointment for next thursday. am going down with celine, jamie and pam.
boy i am definitely making friends.
netball
netball
netball
the only thing that keeps me sane, happy and hopeful.
had problem printing out all the receipts and filling in the cash reconsiliation paper. well, considering that it was only my second time, i should be forgiven. one of the benefit of getting $x per hour is going home by taxi and i get to claim for it. haha.
i made the nicest cake so far! am damn proud of myself. am going back to cathay tmr to finish up on two other cakes.
netball at night. afterwhich, its back to cathay for closing again.
mich went down to cathay. i know i'm being mean by pretending that i didnt see her. well... if she had come up to me and say hello, i would have obliged to be nice :p
starbuck gave out free drinks from 5 to 7 in the evening. its like a way for them to pay back to the society. and i had 2 drinks! haha. a chocolate cream chip and a berry ice tea or something.
life is great. life is good. life is simply wonderful.
who am i kidding.
time to cut my hair.
made an appointment for next thursday. am going down with celine, jamie and pam.
boy i am definitely making friends.
netball
netball
netball
the only thing that keeps me sane, happy and hopeful.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
7th November 06, Thursday 5:09am
if you're wondering why am i still up at 5 plus in the morning, no... i'm not still up. on the contrary, i just woke up. i slept at 9 after watching project superstar. the long awaited period is here and i'm suffering from severe cramp. it makes me feel like a dead log lying on my bed with my bolster hugged tightly in between my legs.
i feel a tinch of restlessness in me on my off day. i was supposed to go tanning with char and jy but, well, my cramp just wouldnt allow me to enjoy my off day. hence i stayed at home doing nothing wondering what would it have been like if i were at cathay. i probably would be eating ice cream. haha. speaking of which, i'm thinking of phish food. yum yum.
edward is back from aus. when is that shortie coming back? argh. one more week!!! 18th!
oh yeah, edward bought this chocolate coated marshmallow back. it has some kinda nuts sprikled all over it which is really delicious. okie i'm going to make a trip to the kitchen now... hahaha. other than that, he bought 8 koala bears back. gosh. its as though he's trying to make a statement that he has been to aus. btw i dont mean real koala k. the small koala that can kiap onto something.
just did this survey on matric card which is conducted by the student union. i'm not the kinda person who's interested in helping ppl filling up survey unless there's money factor as motivation. anyhow, the reason why i even bothered is it concerns me (sort of). stupid ntu matric card is made of lousy material. after 2 years it would fall apart unless we really take extra care like what my friend sheryl did. otherwise, the plastic sheet that has our particulars and photo on it would drop off from the card. and it makes no sense at all for me to pay 21 bucks to get a new one. i hope that my effort would pay off. as in after many of us complain about the quality of the card, perhaps they might wanna remake one for us. oh i'm so damn sure its many of us cos i saw the condition of the matric cards in the exam halls. my invidualator gave me a stupid smirk when i had to align the plastic sheet and the card for him.
i wanna sleep. but i'm super awake now. i woke up at 1 plus in the afternoon yesterday and slept at 9pm. argh. how am i supposed to fall aslp now?
oh i almost forgot. mag called! yeap. i thought she has forgotten about me. i do miss her. she gone mia ever since the last time she came back from nz. shall go out with her soon. i wanna see her. i wonder whether she has changed or not. it was funny when she said,
"we should ask suan, hannah, char and her friend out too."
"mag, you mean char's girl friend ar?"
girl friend girl friend lah... dont have to be so "polite" lor.
either that or i'd call char's jiam jiam friend. lol.
i feel a tinch of restlessness in me on my off day. i was supposed to go tanning with char and jy but, well, my cramp just wouldnt allow me to enjoy my off day. hence i stayed at home doing nothing wondering what would it have been like if i were at cathay. i probably would be eating ice cream. haha. speaking of which, i'm thinking of phish food. yum yum.
edward is back from aus. when is that shortie coming back? argh. one more week!!! 18th!
oh yeah, edward bought this chocolate coated marshmallow back. it has some kinda nuts sprikled all over it which is really delicious. okie i'm going to make a trip to the kitchen now... hahaha. other than that, he bought 8 koala bears back. gosh. its as though he's trying to make a statement that he has been to aus. btw i dont mean real koala k. the small koala that can kiap onto something.
just did this survey on matric card which is conducted by the student union. i'm not the kinda person who's interested in helping ppl filling up survey unless there's money factor as motivation. anyhow, the reason why i even bothered is it concerns me (sort of). stupid ntu matric card is made of lousy material. after 2 years it would fall apart unless we really take extra care like what my friend sheryl did. otherwise, the plastic sheet that has our particulars and photo on it would drop off from the card. and it makes no sense at all for me to pay 21 bucks to get a new one. i hope that my effort would pay off. as in after many of us complain about the quality of the card, perhaps they might wanna remake one for us. oh i'm so damn sure its many of us cos i saw the condition of the matric cards in the exam halls. my invidualator gave me a stupid smirk when i had to align the plastic sheet and the card for him.
i wanna sleep. but i'm super awake now. i woke up at 1 plus in the afternoon yesterday and slept at 9pm. argh. how am i supposed to fall aslp now?
oh i almost forgot. mag called! yeap. i thought she has forgotten about me. i do miss her. she gone mia ever since the last time she came back from nz. shall go out with her soon. i wanna see her. i wonder whether she has changed or not. it was funny when she said,
"we should ask suan, hannah, char and her friend out too."
"mag, you mean char's girl friend ar?"
girl friend girl friend lah... dont have to be so "polite" lor.
either that or i'd call char's jiam jiam friend. lol.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
6th November 06, Wednesday 9:44am
3 years and 6 sems of time table planning, this morning is the last time (hopefully) that i'm gonna sit in front of the com with my heart thumping like fast drum beat. there's only one core module for me. (hopefully. if i dont need to repeat anything... gosh this is scary)
anyway... i just wanna say that i've been pretty lucky. whenever i do my time table, i'd be able to get the classes that i want. really gotta thank the extra force that helping me to ease my life.
anyway... i just wanna say that i've been pretty lucky. whenever i do my time table, i'd be able to get the classes that i want. really gotta thank the extra force that helping me to ease my life.
6th November 06, Wednesday 2:03am
van gets $x an hour to scoop ice cream,
but why am i paid $x an hour to count money on top of scooping ice cream???
its not just counting money. there are so much more... yet to come! when jason handed the key to me, i asked the stupidest question that anyone can possibly ask. "am i supposed to bring this home?" gosh. though the weight of the key is merely 50g on my hand, the responsibility that comes with it is 100 fold of that. no kidding.
he briefted me through the things that i am to expect, my role and his "vision" of cathay. its not easy. i know why ling ling had a tough time back then.
how am i supposed to go up to those girls and tell them... err no slippers ar. pls dont use phones behind counter or i'll confiscate (that was what ling ling did!). pls check your scoop (very important). oh my god! i cant believe tat i'm supposed to control tat too when i always give big big scoop! i mean... walao eh.. when you're a scoopy, ppl just scoop lah. to hell with the size. okie lah.. i'm exagerating abit. but its just that scoopies dont feel the pain of losing 10bulks of ice cream when we're supposed to lose only 3.
if suntec and raffles city lose only 1 bulk each month, why is there a zero behing the one for cathay then??? doesnt make sense rite?
of cos it makes perfect sense! because the managers in those outlet make the scoopies weigh every freaking scoop of ice cream! even vermonsters!!! unless cathay scoopies dont mind weighing everytime they scoop then by all means continue with the current practice.
why?
why am i put in this situation for that $$$?
but why am i paid $x an hour to count money on top of scooping ice cream???
its not just counting money. there are so much more... yet to come! when jason handed the key to me, i asked the stupidest question that anyone can possibly ask. "am i supposed to bring this home?" gosh. though the weight of the key is merely 50g on my hand, the responsibility that comes with it is 100 fold of that. no kidding.
he briefted me through the things that i am to expect, my role and his "vision" of cathay. its not easy. i know why ling ling had a tough time back then.
how am i supposed to go up to those girls and tell them... err no slippers ar. pls dont use phones behind counter or i'll confiscate (that was what ling ling did!). pls check your scoop (very important). oh my god! i cant believe tat i'm supposed to control tat too when i always give big big scoop! i mean... walao eh.. when you're a scoopy, ppl just scoop lah. to hell with the size. okie lah.. i'm exagerating abit. but its just that scoopies dont feel the pain of losing 10bulks of ice cream when we're supposed to lose only 3.
if suntec and raffles city lose only 1 bulk each month, why is there a zero behing the one for cathay then??? doesnt make sense rite?
of cos it makes perfect sense! because the managers in those outlet make the scoopies weigh every freaking scoop of ice cream! even vermonsters!!! unless cathay scoopies dont mind weighing everytime they scoop then by all means continue with the current practice.
why?
why am i put in this situation for that $$$?
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
5th December 06, Tuesday 12:26am
Horoscope for the day:
The Bottom Line
Don't sign any legal documents today until you've removed all doubt from your mind.
In Detail
If a contract, an agreement or any other type of legal document is laid down in front of you today, don't sign on the dotted line! You can read it, file it or even shred it -- but if you put down your signature, you might be forfeiting something even better. The deal you're being offered today is fine, but the universe may have something else in mind for you. Take your time -- re-examine this opportunity when things feel more solid in your life.
ok this is pretty scary... though i didnt sign any contract, the fact that i agreed to take up the responsibility is a sign that i am binding myself to the "agreement". i cant feel any more solid in life, so how am i supposed to know? i mean... i'm just going with the flow. like what char said, i've got nothing to lose and its pretty good opportunity to learn. PLUS, i always thought that i'll wait another month or two before my pocket can feel fuller. hahaha. but jason brought good news today.
anyway, i had a good time catching up with jace after work. we went to lido for step up. i had to "spoil" her night when she told me that liat is back from aus. i cant help it whenever someone mention aus, i'd automatically think bout the one who shall not be named! not my fault!!! you know what... i know two ppl through the one who shall not be named and all three of us hate her to core. how ironic is tat. ok i dont hate her... i just super dislike her. i'm pretty sure the degree of negative feeling for her is different among all three of us. hahaha.
i need to rest.
The Bottom Line
Don't sign any legal documents today until you've removed all doubt from your mind.
In Detail
If a contract, an agreement or any other type of legal document is laid down in front of you today, don't sign on the dotted line! You can read it, file it or even shred it -- but if you put down your signature, you might be forfeiting something even better. The deal you're being offered today is fine, but the universe may have something else in mind for you. Take your time -- re-examine this opportunity when things feel more solid in your life.
ok this is pretty scary... though i didnt sign any contract, the fact that i agreed to take up the responsibility is a sign that i am binding myself to the "agreement". i cant feel any more solid in life, so how am i supposed to know? i mean... i'm just going with the flow. like what char said, i've got nothing to lose and its pretty good opportunity to learn. PLUS, i always thought that i'll wait another month or two before my pocket can feel fuller. hahaha. but jason brought good news today.
anyway, i had a good time catching up with jace after work. we went to lido for step up. i had to "spoil" her night when she told me that liat is back from aus. i cant help it whenever someone mention aus, i'd automatically think bout the one who shall not be named! not my fault!!! you know what... i know two ppl through the one who shall not be named and all three of us hate her to core. how ironic is tat. ok i dont hate her... i just super dislike her. i'm pretty sure the degree of negative feeling for her is different among all three of us. hahaha.
i need to rest.
Monday, December 04, 2006
4th November 06, Monday 12:42am
first thing first, check out what fiafia did for me. its so cool. her creativity has reached another level. hehe.
this is the second background that she did for me. i told her i want an exam background too after seeing hers. so here is mine. allow me to explain what it all means. the focus is on the two cards. on first look, one might wonder why is it a queen card and not a king card, as a king and an ace are the common representation of black jack. BUT, me being the Queen Of Bitch of cos i need the queen card to represent me lah! therefore fia fia has chosen to put the queen instead of the king. and i'm going to get all As for my papers... haha. HOPEFULLY.
this is the second background that she did for me. i told her i want an exam background too after seeing hers. so here is mine. allow me to explain what it all means. the focus is on the two cards. on first look, one might wonder why is it a queen card and not a king card, as a king and an ace are the common representation of black jack. BUT, me being the Queen Of Bitch of cos i need the queen card to represent me lah! therefore fia fia has chosen to put the queen instead of the king. and i'm going to get all As for my papers... haha. HOPEFULLY.
this is the first one that she made for me. i LOVE this the most. its simple yet very captivative (to me lah). probably its the purple that is bewitching me haha.
i wanted to check my ntu mail and this window popped up, requesting me to change my password. argh. its the first time that i have a hard time deciding which password to use. ok the big disclosure of the passwords that i have used for my ntu account throughout the past 5 semesters. afterwhich, you'd understand why i am having difficulty deciding on my last password.
year 1 first sem: 24071985 (amelia's bday)
year 1 second sem: 30061985 (desmond's bday)
year 2 first sem: 29061982 (von's bday)
year 2 second sem: 03051984 (my bday)
year 3 first sem: 05031981 (just's bday)
haha... i'm not a very creative person, am i? notice something interesting? just's bday is the opposite of mine. i always get mixed up whenever i typed the password. and von's bday is just a day before desmond's. and amelia has the best number, twenty-four seven.
in case you wanna hack into my account now, dont even try. i've stopped using bdays. i'm just crossing my fingers that i wont forget. cos its super long. let me see.... hmmm...there's 11charactuers and its a mix of numbers and alphabets, the best password so far. shall disclose it when i'm done with ntu : )
Sunday, December 03, 2006
3rd December 06, Saturday 2:26am
i do believe that jiao lian holds grudges against mr teh to a certain level. it doesnt make things any easier for me whenever he says what he said. its true that when oss started the netball club, we, being the first batch, were the guinea pigs. no matter what, i have the utmost respect for mr teh until now. seriously if it was not because of him, i wouldnt have found the joy of playing netball again. if it was not because of him, i wouldnt have had fond memories of oss. i know my skill is below par as compared to many others. many times, i told myself if i had better or proper coach, i would have fare well enough.
when we started the cca, everyone was just trying to learn the game. justin did the best he could for us at that time. perhaps it was enough back then, two years of training and we manage to get into second round, it was an achievement to us. but of cos, its not enough for me now. i have to learn everything from the basic. chest pass, lops and, for god sake, my shooting too. and from the bottom of my heart, i am grateful that jiao lian teaches me everything that i ought to know, even though i was once justin's girl.
how i wish i am not caught in between like now.
being a cynical one, i cant help but to think that is jiao lian trying to prove that mr teh sucks like hell to have a player like me? sigh.
oh whatever.
first day of work at cathay, jason came over and told me that he needed to talk to me. i was apprenhensive of what he said. the whole conversation lasted for awhile. i wonder how many others know about it. am i the only one or are there some others.
i am honoured, yet with it comes responsibility. whatever it is, i dont mind a pay increase since i am in need of money so freaking urgently.
haha.
thank god, jiam jiam stopped me from spending $75 on a zara shirt. haha.
thanx jiam jiam.
when we started the cca, everyone was just trying to learn the game. justin did the best he could for us at that time. perhaps it was enough back then, two years of training and we manage to get into second round, it was an achievement to us. but of cos, its not enough for me now. i have to learn everything from the basic. chest pass, lops and, for god sake, my shooting too. and from the bottom of my heart, i am grateful that jiao lian teaches me everything that i ought to know, even though i was once justin's girl.
how i wish i am not caught in between like now.
being a cynical one, i cant help but to think that is jiao lian trying to prove that mr teh sucks like hell to have a player like me? sigh.
oh whatever.
first day of work at cathay, jason came over and told me that he needed to talk to me. i was apprenhensive of what he said. the whole conversation lasted for awhile. i wonder how many others know about it. am i the only one or are there some others.
i am honoured, yet with it comes responsibility. whatever it is, i dont mind a pay increase since i am in need of money so freaking urgently.
haha.
thank god, jiam jiam stopped me from spending $75 on a zara shirt. haha.
thanx jiam jiam.
Saturday, December 02, 2006
2nd December 06, Saturday 1:11am
omg its december. the year is going to end soon. i still have no idea whether its good or not.
hmmm life without 5450 is still pretty much the same. we took a stroll to geylang from kallang netball center. when you have the crave for certain food and the determination to satisfy yourself, you sure can overcome any obstacles!
dao huey without you tiao was not shiok enough.
but the dim sum made it up.
(hey xh jealous not? we dont need you! we have 11 11 11.)
*wink*
on a more serious note...
reflection for the day:
sometimes in life, you need some setbacks to remind yourself that there is still alot more to learn and improve on. the journey is still long.
its really upsetting. so much so that if i think hard enough, tears might just roll down.
I CAN
and
I WILL
fly on the court.
hmmm life without 5450 is still pretty much the same. we took a stroll to geylang from kallang netball center. when you have the crave for certain food and the determination to satisfy yourself, you sure can overcome any obstacles!
dao huey without you tiao was not shiok enough.
but the dim sum made it up.
(hey xh jealous not? we dont need you! we have 11 11 11.)
*wink*
on a more serious note...
reflection for the day:
sometimes in life, you need some setbacks to remind yourself that there is still alot more to learn and improve on. the journey is still long.
its really upsetting. so much so that if i think hard enough, tears might just roll down.
I CAN
and
I WILL
fly on the court.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
30th November 06, Thursday 6:56pm
ever since i downloaded andy lau's cantonese version of yue lao (direct translation = moon old), i've been downloading more of his songs. mostly are cantonese. then... i find myself downloading more and more cantonese songs! like ekin's young and dangerous. i used to have one whole list of ekin's young and dangerous sound track in my windamp when i was in secondary school. gosh... its really good.
anyway... my first ever favourite canto song is by sammi cheng. wai ho (in english, it means WHY). so any kind soul who manages to find it, please send it to me k.
wai ho weng yun fong bat dai
wai ho chor ngoi jie yet wai
okie i forgot the rest... haha
anyway... my first ever favourite canto song is by sammi cheng. wai ho (in english, it means WHY). so any kind soul who manages to find it, please send it to me k.
wai ho weng yun fong bat dai
wai ho chor ngoi jie yet wai
okie i forgot the rest... haha
30th November 06, Thursday 1:54am
sometimes i am pretty frustrated with myself on court. i dont know why i just continue to do so badly when it comes to shooting. i dont understand why my inconsistency is so persistent. how else can i improve? i wanna see myself fly on court. i wanna see us fly on court. jy, char, xh and i. speaking of which, i'm always pretty amaze with our combi. everytime when we go for training, we'd joke about it. with us turning up for training, its like half the team is formed. they dont have to worry about the 2 ends. two shooters and two defenders. just nice.
i'll work harder. somehow. i'll be a chop chop shooter. *cross my fingers*
i cant emphasise how much i love walking in the night. peaceful. no matter how sleepy and tired i am... i'll always make it back home from jy's place.
have faith.
be strong.
and start believing again.
that's life.
i'll work harder. somehow. i'll be a chop chop shooter. *cross my fingers*
i cant emphasise how much i love walking in the night. peaceful. no matter how sleepy and tired i am... i'll always make it back home from jy's place.
have faith.
be strong.
and start believing again.
that's life.
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
28th November 06, Tuesday 11:44pm
exam is over! lalalala. its like big load has been lifted off my shoulder.
strangely i feel that out of all the papers, soci was the only one which i wrote with sense. i told dearie that strategic and retailing management were like writing crap. it was gek-ing sai and hoping that that piece of sai make sense. smoking my way through... or another analogy would be like trying so hard to pull the cow to the river when the cow doesnt wanna move at all... i donno how i'll fare for all but for the time being just let me celebrate with joy. even if its only for 5 days before fyp locks me up in chain.
i like the feeling of sitting at home, or rather being a couch potato. i watched the tv, ate and fell aslp at the same spot. nothing beats the worry-free time that i am enjoying now. when i got tired of that this afternoon, i played with junior. ate my big big pack of m&m.
i'm thinking of writing a list of 100 things that i wanna do before i turn 40. i believe its a great idea because when you start striking out the things that you have done, you'll definitely get the sense of achievement. well at least when you turn 40 and look back, you wont think that you have done nothing. unless, true enough you really didnt bother to even try to do something that you really wanted to.
so when i get a room of my own, i'll put up my own list on the wall. one thing i have in mind is to save up $50k. haha. to be able to work in a foreign country was one of my wish too. then i remember that's not difficult cos i'll be going US next year. haha. but i do wanna visit vienna. it has always been my dream. i wonder if dying at the age of 50 could be on the list too : )
okie for the time being, i'll focus on what i wanna do this holiday.
sun tanning in sentosa. pls ppl just ask me... i wont reject.
more netball trainings.
mahjong session. i dont care! i wanna win money.
work. i need hell lotsa money!
some soul searching time for myself. haha.
read read and read.
some kinda bonding with my mom.
i wanna have bbq too.
club? im not too sure bout that though. shall see...kiv.
fyp. i dont have a choice. yeaks. pui pui pui.
strangely i feel that out of all the papers, soci was the only one which i wrote with sense. i told dearie that strategic and retailing management were like writing crap. it was gek-ing sai and hoping that that piece of sai make sense. smoking my way through... or another analogy would be like trying so hard to pull the cow to the river when the cow doesnt wanna move at all... i donno how i'll fare for all but for the time being just let me celebrate with joy. even if its only for 5 days before fyp locks me up in chain.
i like the feeling of sitting at home, or rather being a couch potato. i watched the tv, ate and fell aslp at the same spot. nothing beats the worry-free time that i am enjoying now. when i got tired of that this afternoon, i played with junior. ate my big big pack of m&m.
i'm thinking of writing a list of 100 things that i wanna do before i turn 40. i believe its a great idea because when you start striking out the things that you have done, you'll definitely get the sense of achievement. well at least when you turn 40 and look back, you wont think that you have done nothing. unless, true enough you really didnt bother to even try to do something that you really wanted to.
so when i get a room of my own, i'll put up my own list on the wall. one thing i have in mind is to save up $50k. haha. to be able to work in a foreign country was one of my wish too. then i remember that's not difficult cos i'll be going US next year. haha. but i do wanna visit vienna. it has always been my dream. i wonder if dying at the age of 50 could be on the list too : )
okie for the time being, i'll focus on what i wanna do this holiday.
sun tanning in sentosa. pls ppl just ask me... i wont reject.
more netball trainings.
mahjong session. i dont care! i wanna win money.
work. i need hell lotsa money!
some soul searching time for myself. haha.
read read and read.
some kinda bonding with my mom.
i wanna have bbq too.
club? im not too sure bout that though. shall see...kiv.
fyp. i dont have a choice. yeaks. pui pui pui.
Monday, November 27, 2006
27th November 06, Monday 11:42pm
okie... pardon me.
FUCK THE LAST PAPER!!!!!!!!
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
FUCK IT!
this is the first paper that i dont bother to study. honestly, i did enjoy soci lessons. its just... argh i'm drained. too drained. i cant concentrate. i'm not disciplined enough. i cant wait for the paper to end and start my fyp proper. not that i'm looking forward to fyp. I JUST DONT HAVE A FUCKING CHOICE.
FUCK THE EDUCATION SYSTEM.
FUCK.
FUCK.
FUCK.
i cant believe that i've been putting up with it for the past 2 years plus. its like the final strecth... i can see the goal line, its only a 100m more, yet every step that i take requires double the effort. you know what i mean? i know one day i'll miss this journey. i know i'm gonna look back and tell myself if only i had done better or appreciated it better... but right now i'm just too ARGH. its suffocating me!
i wanna sleep. take a break from everything. i fucking need a break. i cant stand the world rotating when i have no idea what i'm gonna do every single day. i'm like a living zombie. i cant fucking stand myself enduring this negative force. i know where i wanna be, i know what i wanna do, i know what i want.. but i cant seem to fucking reach it! its like this stupid last stretch of race is all that i have to accomplish before i can get what i want.
ta ma de niang niang!
its going to be another paper whereby i'll enter the exam hall chanting, "fuck it fuck it fuck it...."
i need some ltc.
am in some serious deprivation.
FUCK THE LAST PAPER!!!!!!!!
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
FUCK IT!
this is the first paper that i dont bother to study. honestly, i did enjoy soci lessons. its just... argh i'm drained. too drained. i cant concentrate. i'm not disciplined enough. i cant wait for the paper to end and start my fyp proper. not that i'm looking forward to fyp. I JUST DONT HAVE A FUCKING CHOICE.
FUCK THE EDUCATION SYSTEM.
FUCK.
FUCK.
FUCK.
i cant believe that i've been putting up with it for the past 2 years plus. its like the final strecth... i can see the goal line, its only a 100m more, yet every step that i take requires double the effort. you know what i mean? i know one day i'll miss this journey. i know i'm gonna look back and tell myself if only i had done better or appreciated it better... but right now i'm just too ARGH. its suffocating me!
i wanna sleep. take a break from everything. i fucking need a break. i cant stand the world rotating when i have no idea what i'm gonna do every single day. i'm like a living zombie. i cant fucking stand myself enduring this negative force. i know where i wanna be, i know what i wanna do, i know what i want.. but i cant seem to fucking reach it! its like this stupid last stretch of race is all that i have to accomplish before i can get what i want.
ta ma de niang niang!
its going to be another paper whereby i'll enter the exam hall chanting, "fuck it fuck it fuck it...."
i need some ltc.
am in some serious deprivation.
27th November 06, Monday 1:01am
nothing beats a blog full of photos... i think its much more interesting than just plain words. so here goes. to the november babies in thump thump pack family.
informal ttp photo. still as crazy and lovely as we are. more years to come.
the formal one. apparently it's either bx's head is too big or yeling is too short. your choice.
good cushioning. if only i could ly on yeling's and moni's laps, that would make the picture just nice :)
once again.. presenting the ttp.
too bad we have an extra here. oh well we still look good as a whole.
counting down from the top--> gorgeous me, yujia, huixian, chuifia, yeling and monica. short of erin though.
fall in love with the kiddy me and yeling. ok... yujia and chufia are having second thoughts. oh whatever.
i think munhoe is putting a diamond ring on my finger. i'm taken for the day ppl. sorry.
sometimes it wont kill to look abit auntish, if it puts laughters onto my friends' faces.
conspiring something...
how to pose with a paper plate...
chuifia's turn..
(btw... if only i have that kinda weight and size every single day... i think that's the most perfect size that i wanna have. but lately ive been eating alot. period coming lah.)
dancing with fia.. with special effect...
dont i look ghostly?! that's the whole point.
self proclaim G4. substituting munhoe for the time being.
orginal G4 members are boxiong, binghui, edmund and munhoe.
G4 in the photo--> (left to right) boxiong, binghui, edmund and janet.
btw.. if i'm not wrong, G4 means GAY 4. kinda strange when there's only 1 gay in the orginal group.
at bx's bday party. lovely gang.
ttp girls with the bday boy.
okie done with the phtos.
i was deeply in sleep this morning when my phone started to beep. wth. i was cursing and swearing. hell.. who in the freaking wrong mind would send me 6 msges in one short early in the morning at 11 plus or so. ok... that time to me was early. in the end, i picked up my phone and had a look. okie... the person was DONALD.
Donald aka miss lee aka shortie aka bb aka xunhui! woohoooo...
she's back in brisbane from melbourne! finally she has access to internet. no wonder such an urge to send me so many msges. but still... i replied in short telling her that my exam is not over yet, i'm fine, slping and dont reply. i'll msg her later. hahaha. what a friend rite?
we had a short chat through phone msges in the evening. which was good. and yea we're right... she misses us more than we miss her!!! apparently aus is not as fun as singapore! great. but i'm sure when she goes over to US, it'll be an entirely different story. whatever. cant wait for her to be back. she bought us some gifts though. i wonder what is my gift.
i dont mind a rainbow tie. i'm really into ties nowadays. i just got 2 new ties yesterday. a black one and a black and white stripe one. shall wear them soon. wait till i get more shirts.
anyway... working tmr with van again. and i have no idea why i'm still up. oh yea.. i just remembered.. cos i wanted to upload photos. haha.
--------
Never Surrender by Corey Heart (meteor garden sound track)
Just a little more time is all we're askin' for
'Cause just a little more time could open closin' doors.
Just a little uncertainty can bring you down.
And nobody wants to know you now
and nobody wants to show you how.
So if you're lost and on your own
you can never surrender
And if your path won't lead you home
you can never sunender
And when the night is cold and dark
you can seeyou can see light.
'Cause no one can take away your right to fight
and to never surrender.
With a little perseverance you can get things done
Without a blind adherence that has conquered some.
And nobody wants to know you now
and nobody wants to show you how.
To never surrender.
And when the night is cold and dark
you can seeyou can see light.
And no one can take away your right to fight
and to never surrender -
To never surrender.
Time is all we're asking for to never surrender
you can never surrender.
Time is all you're asking for with songs
you can never surrender.
I said you never surrender !
Sunday, November 26, 2006
26th November 06, Sunday 1:53am
i had nightmare. though i did not wake up with cold sweat, it was freaking scary. it was like those typical kinda dream whereby you woke up in your dream thinking that you had already woken up but the truth was you were still dreaming. and i dreamt bout her confronting me. yet again... i swear to god im not the kind that goes around stalking ppl. but i dont know why she just had that kinda idea in my dream. argh. i guess this is the result when one is being wronged and never bothered to clarify things. argh. pissing. can i just remove her out of my life once and forever? why am i still like stucked with things that are associated to her? btw i've dumped her msn contact to this folder that i named "ppl that i dont know". hahaha.
so that's it! no more jt.
i reached home at 12 plus only to realise that i did not have my keys with me and my mom didnt leave the keys at the usual place. so i was locked outside. not wanting to wake my old man up, i decided to wait for edwin. went down to this new gym area and tried out all the newly built gym structures. what a way to make myself feel better after all those buffets. and the music that was being played on class 95 were those sentimental kind. heard a few from meteor garden sound track. i am never proud to admit that i was once a meteor garden fan. argh. there. i just admited. anyway, it was all those wealth that blinded me ok! and the sound track was great la. i even bought it and am listening to it now. if you think meteor garden played all those cheena biang songs, then you're sooooo wrong. surprisingly they had all the oldies... let's see which are my favourites:
1. perfect moment
2. love of my life
3. and i love you so
4. never surrender
5. almost over you (top choice of mine)
6. i'll never fall in love again
7. settling
Almost Over You
I saw an old friend of ours today
She asked about you and I didn't quite know what to say
Heard you've been makin' the rounds round here
While I've been tryin' to make tears disappear
Now I'm almost over you
I've almost shook these blues
So when you come back around
After painting the town you'll see
That I'm almost over you
You're such a sly one with your cold, cold heart
Maybe leaving came easy but it tore me apart
Time heals all wounds they say and I should know'
Cause it seems like forever but I'm letting you go
Now I'm almost over you
I've almost shook these blues
So when you come back around
After painting the town you'll see
That I'm almost over you
I can forgive you and soon i'll forget all those shattered dreams
Although you've left me with nothing to showfull of misery
Now I'm almost over you
I've almost shook these blues
So when you come back around
After painting the town you'll see
That I'm almost over you
When you come back around
After painting the town you'll see
That I'm almost over you
so that's it! no more jt.
i reached home at 12 plus only to realise that i did not have my keys with me and my mom didnt leave the keys at the usual place. so i was locked outside. not wanting to wake my old man up, i decided to wait for edwin. went down to this new gym area and tried out all the newly built gym structures. what a way to make myself feel better after all those buffets. and the music that was being played on class 95 were those sentimental kind. heard a few from meteor garden sound track. i am never proud to admit that i was once a meteor garden fan. argh. there. i just admited. anyway, it was all those wealth that blinded me ok! and the sound track was great la. i even bought it and am listening to it now. if you think meteor garden played all those cheena biang songs, then you're sooooo wrong. surprisingly they had all the oldies... let's see which are my favourites:
1. perfect moment
2. love of my life
3. and i love you so
4. never surrender
5. almost over you (top choice of mine)
6. i'll never fall in love again
7. settling
Almost Over You
I saw an old friend of ours today
She asked about you and I didn't quite know what to say
Heard you've been makin' the rounds round here
While I've been tryin' to make tears disappear
Now I'm almost over you
I've almost shook these blues
So when you come back around
After painting the town you'll see
That I'm almost over you
You're such a sly one with your cold, cold heart
Maybe leaving came easy but it tore me apart
Time heals all wounds they say and I should know'
Cause it seems like forever but I'm letting you go
Now I'm almost over you
I've almost shook these blues
So when you come back around
After painting the town you'll see
That I'm almost over you
I can forgive you and soon i'll forget all those shattered dreams
Although you've left me with nothing to showfull of misery
Now I'm almost over you
I've almost shook these blues
So when you come back around
After painting the town you'll see
That I'm almost over you
When you come back around
After painting the town you'll see
That I'm almost over you
Saturday, November 25, 2006
25th November 06, Saturday 12:15am
Horoscope for the day:
The Bottom Line
Your conservative side has been in power too long. Let your wild child out!
In Detail
Your conservative side has been in power for a long time -- so today it's time to let your wild child out! For inspiration, let your nuttiest friends lead the way toward a wackier life for a while. You need a vacation from organization, a break from the staid stuff of life, and an overall mood renovation. It's time to revisit your childhood and stop taking things so seriously. You can safely take a break from grownup responsibilities right now.
yea right. what about fyp? okie i might listen to it and go for both sheryl's and boxiong's bday celebration. hmmm...
last paper for most marketing students. not for me though. soci on tuesday which i have yet to study. not as though there's anything to study but i do need to go through most of the readings. which shall be done on sunday. i'm serious.
next week is gonna be doubly shiok. there's training on monday, wednesday, friday and saturday! woohooo. i'm giving a pass for the monday one though. well there's paper on tuesday and i'm working in the morning for monday. so yea... i need to rest.
coach commented i've improved. I KNOW i improved. heehee... i was hoping that he could say more than just--> "now catching is much better. last time out of 10, you can only catch 5." wah... thanx man.
xh, i promise you when you come back in three months time, i'll be flying on court!
at the rate that jy, char and i are going for training, you bet i'll fly. char and jy will definitely slim down by alot. haha.. you'll see the once-oh-so-sexy char. and jy will stop pulling and pinching her own fats in front of me, cos there will be none for her to pinch! hahaha.
life is good when there's netball training.
once a netballer, forever a netballer.
how true.
The Bottom Line
Your conservative side has been in power too long. Let your wild child out!
In Detail
Your conservative side has been in power for a long time -- so today it's time to let your wild child out! For inspiration, let your nuttiest friends lead the way toward a wackier life for a while. You need a vacation from organization, a break from the staid stuff of life, and an overall mood renovation. It's time to revisit your childhood and stop taking things so seriously. You can safely take a break from grownup responsibilities right now.
yea right. what about fyp? okie i might listen to it and go for both sheryl's and boxiong's bday celebration. hmmm...
last paper for most marketing students. not for me though. soci on tuesday which i have yet to study. not as though there's anything to study but i do need to go through most of the readings. which shall be done on sunday. i'm serious.
next week is gonna be doubly shiok. there's training on monday, wednesday, friday and saturday! woohooo. i'm giving a pass for the monday one though. well there's paper on tuesday and i'm working in the morning for monday. so yea... i need to rest.
coach commented i've improved. I KNOW i improved. heehee... i was hoping that he could say more than just--> "now catching is much better. last time out of 10, you can only catch 5." wah... thanx man.
xh, i promise you when you come back in three months time, i'll be flying on court!
at the rate that jy, char and i are going for training, you bet i'll fly. char and jy will definitely slim down by alot. haha.. you'll see the once-oh-so-sexy char. and jy will stop pulling and pinching her own fats in front of me, cos there will be none for her to pinch! hahaha.
life is good when there's netball training.
once a netballer, forever a netballer.
how true.
Thursday, November 23, 2006
23rd November 06, Thursday 10:13pm
Horoscope for the day:
The Bottom Line
People from different cultures will play an important role in your life today.
In Detail
People from different backgrounds or cultures will play an important role in your life today. Their charm and friendliness will provide you with the positive reinforcement you need, and they will make you feel much more comfortable in an awkward situation. Not everyone is as open-minded as you, so be prepared to create a place where new people can meet and mingle. A social event, such as dinner or even bowling, can help cultures meld instead of collide.
pretty accurate, as usual. i did get my positive reinforcement from jy today. i donno for what freaking reason, she msged me on the phone. i mean... hell i just saw her stupid face a couple of days ago when she sent me the email. anyhow, though ive deleted her number, i could still recognise those familiar figures. and what could be more wrong than she typing her own name out? i knew she sent the msg wrongly, so i threw my phone at jy and told her how irritated i was. i didnt even have the intention of replying. but she had to send another msg. so jy replied on my behalf. well actually i told jy not to. i mean reply for what? btw, i really think that jy was kinda overboard to reply, "i dont think i know you." hahaha... i was really stunned to see those words. i thought jy was kidding with me when she said she wants to reply that way.
i felt really bad. like i was too rude. how could i say i dont know her when in fact we talked on msn just a month ago. it was then jy put sense into my head. why bother to be so nice to people who made use of you. why bother to care how she feels when she obviously didnt care enough back then.
yes, it was a very awkward situation. but i dont really care now. sometimes certain "friends" are better to be lost. or to quote jy, "you xie peng you bu zhi de jiao".
i shouldnt feel small about myself. sometimes being nice to others is being cruel to yourself. i'll always put that in mind.
xh.. see jy is really taking good care of me. for the time being.
oh we had lotsa fun with your absence. instead of studying, i watched L Word again last night. i stayed over at jy's place. i slept on their bed but i made sure that there wasnt any ph. hahaha. they didnt hanky panky next to me even though (i'm sure) three of us were pretty high after watching L Word. it was really hilarious. there was this scene that dilan was seducing helena. and they had sex the whole night by the beach, jy, char and i just went...
"wah... high ar high ar high ar..."
hahaha.
i bet you would too.
and we concluded that you'd miss us more than we miss you. cos at least jy, char and i still do stuff together. like studying, watching l word and going training. on the other hand, you only have the company of your sis and cousins which i think is less exciting than the company of the crazy 4 (including suan). it has been almost a week. im looking forward to you coming home.
oh training was alright today. i scolded ppl. no i didnt. i just told her what to do but jy said that junior was kinda irritated with me. but well i dont really care. training tmr again! yipppeee.
i'm kinda disappointed with myself for what had happened in the afternoon. and thanx jy for looking out for me.
The Bottom Line
People from different cultures will play an important role in your life today.
In Detail
People from different backgrounds or cultures will play an important role in your life today. Their charm and friendliness will provide you with the positive reinforcement you need, and they will make you feel much more comfortable in an awkward situation. Not everyone is as open-minded as you, so be prepared to create a place where new people can meet and mingle. A social event, such as dinner or even bowling, can help cultures meld instead of collide.
pretty accurate, as usual. i did get my positive reinforcement from jy today. i donno for what freaking reason, she msged me on the phone. i mean... hell i just saw her stupid face a couple of days ago when she sent me the email. anyhow, though ive deleted her number, i could still recognise those familiar figures. and what could be more wrong than she typing her own name out? i knew she sent the msg wrongly, so i threw my phone at jy and told her how irritated i was. i didnt even have the intention of replying. but she had to send another msg. so jy replied on my behalf. well actually i told jy not to. i mean reply for what? btw, i really think that jy was kinda overboard to reply, "i dont think i know you." hahaha... i was really stunned to see those words. i thought jy was kidding with me when she said she wants to reply that way.
i felt really bad. like i was too rude. how could i say i dont know her when in fact we talked on msn just a month ago. it was then jy put sense into my head. why bother to be so nice to people who made use of you. why bother to care how she feels when she obviously didnt care enough back then.
yes, it was a very awkward situation. but i dont really care now. sometimes certain "friends" are better to be lost. or to quote jy, "you xie peng you bu zhi de jiao".
i shouldnt feel small about myself. sometimes being nice to others is being cruel to yourself. i'll always put that in mind.
xh.. see jy is really taking good care of me. for the time being.
oh we had lotsa fun with your absence. instead of studying, i watched L Word again last night. i stayed over at jy's place. i slept on their bed but i made sure that there wasnt any ph. hahaha. they didnt hanky panky next to me even though (i'm sure) three of us were pretty high after watching L Word. it was really hilarious. there was this scene that dilan was seducing helena. and they had sex the whole night by the beach, jy, char and i just went...
"wah... high ar high ar high ar..."
hahaha.
i bet you would too.
and we concluded that you'd miss us more than we miss you. cos at least jy, char and i still do stuff together. like studying, watching l word and going training. on the other hand, you only have the company of your sis and cousins which i think is less exciting than the company of the crazy 4 (including suan). it has been almost a week. im looking forward to you coming home.
oh training was alright today. i scolded ppl. no i didnt. i just told her what to do but jy said that junior was kinda irritated with me. but well i dont really care. training tmr again! yipppeee.
i'm kinda disappointed with myself for what had happened in the afternoon. and thanx jy for looking out for me.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
21st November 06, Tuesday 10:41pm
i almost forgot to thank pearly for her m&m.
THANK YOU so much!
i really love them.
i've got the biggest pack of yellow m&m from the states. woohooo... its 1.4 kg ok. no kidding man. i think i'll take weeks to finish it. then again with junkai's and junior's help, i might be able to make it disappear sooner than i thought. haha.
today was an ok day i supposed. woke up late. went to meet jieyun and char to study at pioneer mall. only to find myself watching The L Word, yet again. haha. but honestly, i did manage to study a little. days without that shortie is still some what strange. i'll get used to it.
shortie,
dont worry big bad jy didnt bully me today. she was quite nice, surprisingly. she let me drink her lemon lime and eat her nuggets. haha... she even offered me her meatballs which i didnt take. cos i wasnt in the mood to eat. i hope you're having fun in melbourne.
love,
tallie :)
ps: miss you.
THANK YOU so much!
i really love them.
i've got the biggest pack of yellow m&m from the states. woohooo... its 1.4 kg ok. no kidding man. i think i'll take weeks to finish it. then again with junkai's and junior's help, i might be able to make it disappear sooner than i thought. haha.
today was an ok day i supposed. woke up late. went to meet jieyun and char to study at pioneer mall. only to find myself watching The L Word, yet again. haha. but honestly, i did manage to study a little. days without that shortie is still some what strange. i'll get used to it.
shortie,
dont worry big bad jy didnt bully me today. she was quite nice, surprisingly. she let me drink her lemon lime and eat her nuggets. haha... she even offered me her meatballs which i didnt take. cos i wasnt in the mood to eat. i hope you're having fun in melbourne.
love,
tallie :)
ps: miss you.
Monday, November 20, 2006
20th November 06, Monday 11:10pm
you know i tried to remain optimistic. i told van that i need a day to grieve before i start on retail management. but she kept pushing me. every now and then she'd threaten to ignore me and turn to her stupid story book, "man and wife". but i know she could never flip pass 5 pages. hahaha.
i was lethargic. lack of sleep. and i am grumpy even until now. like i said i tried to switch on my cheerful button. but freak. why must she send me an email and i had to look at that stupid photo of hers? argh. ok... if its under any normal circumstances, perhaps another day, another time, yea i'll be TOTALLY fine. however, after what dearie has gone through recently, it just brought back those bad memories. i cant stand that face. that argh... kian pah face. i think i still mean it if i ever see her on the street, she'd just be another stranger.
anyway.. my bb has left for australia. the thought of it still brings tears to my eyes. fuck whoever that said im a loser. i mean i really cant control my fucking emotion. of cos ill miss her. like duh? i know she'll be back! like duh?! i know she's just going for vacation. like duh?! BUT I MISS HER! like the supper. like the training.
who's going to call me chaoyang...
when i break down like right this minute, thise second who's going to console me?
who's going to send me down for netball.
who's going to protect me from the evil JIEYUN!
who's going to let me bully her.
who's going to be there for me?
who's going to listen to all my crap about all those bung bung stories?
who's going to play along with my nonsense?
who's going to make sure that my dan ryan's food is good?
who's going to bring me out for supper?
ARGH.
van thinks that im crazy and i shouldnt have gone down to the airport. yea... this is what i get when i send xh off. sigh. i should thank van for crapping with me the whole day. at least it made me feel tiny winy bit better.
i was lethargic. lack of sleep. and i am grumpy even until now. like i said i tried to switch on my cheerful button. but freak. why must she send me an email and i had to look at that stupid photo of hers? argh. ok... if its under any normal circumstances, perhaps another day, another time, yea i'll be TOTALLY fine. however, after what dearie has gone through recently, it just brought back those bad memories. i cant stand that face. that argh... kian pah face. i think i still mean it if i ever see her on the street, she'd just be another stranger.
anyway.. my bb has left for australia. the thought of it still brings tears to my eyes. fuck whoever that said im a loser. i mean i really cant control my fucking emotion. of cos ill miss her. like duh? i know she'll be back! like duh?! i know she's just going for vacation. like duh?! BUT I MISS HER! like the supper. like the training.
who's going to call me chaoyang...
when i break down like right this minute, thise second who's going to console me?
who's going to send me down for netball.
who's going to protect me from the evil JIEYUN!
who's going to let me bully her.
who's going to be there for me?
who's going to listen to all my crap about all those bung bung stories?
who's going to play along with my nonsense?
who's going to make sure that my dan ryan's food is good?
who's going to bring me out for supper?
ARGH.
van thinks that im crazy and i shouldnt have gone down to the airport. yea... this is what i get when i send xh off. sigh. i should thank van for crapping with me the whole day. at least it made me feel tiny winy bit better.
Sunday, November 19, 2006
19th November 06, Sunday 3:55am
i just finished watching the last samurai.
right now i have the urge of getting a tattoo of my name in jap.
okie... i think i pretty much have an idea of the tattoos that i want and where i want them. then again... when am i gonna get it is another question. haha.
right now i have the urge of getting a tattoo of my name in jap.
okie... i think i pretty much have an idea of the tattoos that i want and where i want them. then again... when am i gonna get it is another question. haha.
Saturday, November 18, 2006
18th November 06, Saturday 1:01am
Horoscope reading for the day:
The Bottom Line
No matter how intense or deep your emotions may get today, you can handle it!
In Detail
Your bravery doesn't just enable you to face scary things like spiders, tall buildings, or unruly dogs. Your true bravery can be applied to something far more threatening: honest emotions. No matter how intense or deep your emotions may get, you can handle it! Now is not the time to run away from a confrontation just because you're scared of being hurt or exposed. This is a time to realize your strength and step forward to accept the challenge of being honest with someone you love.
errr... hmmm someone i love? romantically? where? hahaha.
netball was fun. I LOVE NETBALL TRAINING. can i have more? shitty pj having obs course tmr, otherwise i would be sleeping at this time, and feeling all so excited for tmr's training. argh.
give me 3mths, which equals to the period of xh being away, i'll refine my shooting skill and i'll chop in all the balls that i get within the semicircle. my challenge on court is to beat josephine. haha. I CAN. and I WILL DO IT.
even though mr liu kao peh alot. but im really glad and truly appreciate all the stuff that he has taught me so far. i know im improving. he's such a nice old man. but i have to admit that i still dont get what he's saying at times. haha.
next training, i'll do more of the blocking my defender out tatic.
and i'll miss xh. sob sob. training without her will be so different. nobody to look out for me. nobody to teach me. nobody to second me when i know i'm right. most of all, nobody to guard me! haha.. okie lah. there will be other defenders but nobody can jump as good as her to get rebounds.... *wink*
The Bottom Line
No matter how intense or deep your emotions may get today, you can handle it!
In Detail
Your bravery doesn't just enable you to face scary things like spiders, tall buildings, or unruly dogs. Your true bravery can be applied to something far more threatening: honest emotions. No matter how intense or deep your emotions may get, you can handle it! Now is not the time to run away from a confrontation just because you're scared of being hurt or exposed. This is a time to realize your strength and step forward to accept the challenge of being honest with someone you love.
errr... hmmm someone i love? romantically? where? hahaha.
netball was fun. I LOVE NETBALL TRAINING. can i have more? shitty pj having obs course tmr, otherwise i would be sleeping at this time, and feeling all so excited for tmr's training. argh.
give me 3mths, which equals to the period of xh being away, i'll refine my shooting skill and i'll chop in all the balls that i get within the semicircle. my challenge on court is to beat josephine. haha. I CAN. and I WILL DO IT.
even though mr liu kao peh alot. but im really glad and truly appreciate all the stuff that he has taught me so far. i know im improving. he's such a nice old man. but i have to admit that i still dont get what he's saying at times. haha.
next training, i'll do more of the blocking my defender out tatic.
and i'll miss xh. sob sob. training without her will be so different. nobody to look out for me. nobody to teach me. nobody to second me when i know i'm right. most of all, nobody to guard me! haha.. okie lah. there will be other defenders but nobody can jump as good as her to get rebounds.... *wink*
Friday, November 17, 2006
17th November 06, Friday 12:12am
hmmm... i think i blogged bout something that i shouldnt have. i'm being punished for what i ranted a couple of days ago. it simply proves that something is better left unsaid or in this case, untyped.
i woke up in the morning with a bad fever. my bones were aching all over and my mom concluded that ive catched a cold. out of nowhere? how unbelievable. i clearly remembered that i didnt walk in the rain nor did anything that exposed me to any remote chances of catching cold. so why did i fall ill? beats me.
feeling better in the afternoon, i went to sch as planned. cos i made an agreement with dearie to go through the case with her. it was painfully long the process. i hate value chain analysis and, most of all, i hate organisational behavior. if i have the slightest interest in it, i would have specialised in HR right? for obvious reason i'm doing marketing! gosh. and freaking AB311, strategic management, has to be an integration of all business specialisation, OB being one of the major parts. just spell out F. U. C. K. i'm not quite done with the revision yet. i'm betting on my luck for OB. as always.
after the discusion, dearie and i left school at 6 plus. freak. on the way home, i felt freaking cold. the kinda cold that develops from within oneself. the cold was like thousand of needles poking me from within. seriously it was kinda torturous. i lied dead on the sofa.
no amount of pills could make me feel better. it was like damn fucked up. how could this kinda thing happen to me on the day before my core paper. am i lucky or what?
i was so close to giving up. the thought of visiting the doctor for mc crossed my mind a handful of times. however, i told myself no way am i gonna repeat AB311 even for legitimate reason. just screw it man.
i couldnt sleep even after popping in 4 kind of pills. arent pills supposed to make one drossy? especially pills for fever? the cold sturbornly just wouldnt go away. oh by the way it was so bad that i wore socks lah! can anyone imagine me wearing socks, jacket and hiding in a thick blanket?
i figured that since i couldnt sleep and rest, i'd analyse the case again. read it and browsed through my lecture notes. guess what? after i finished, i actually felt so much better. am freaking hyper now. the cold just disappeared!
eerie rite?
you know... all the while my mom was so worried. she kept coming in and out of my room. making sure that my fever drops. am kinda touched.
anyway... when i was hiding in my blanket, dearie called and we had a pretty long conversation on the phone. it reminded me of her. irresponsible piece of shit. sometimes it makes me wonder why such ppl can exist at all. what is going on in their heads when they said stuff like these? i nearly exploded, yet i know no matter how much i wanna scold these people, its not going to make any difference. worse of all, it only reflects badly of me. the best thing to do is to walk away with dignity. with your head held high. because you did no wrong. if these people have any conscience at all, which i seriously doubt so, they are the one who should feel guilty and ashame of themselves.
then again, of cos, the reality is always cruel and unfair. i will always bear in mind that no matter how wrong they can be, they still live their life as per normal. perhaps even happier than i am. for example moving in with the new girl friend... so it makes me question the rational of being a nice person and playing by the rules.
it is true that good people finish the race last.
so as you can see,
i'm quite a bitch now.
rules are meant for breaking.
i dont really care about their feelings as long as i have my fair share of fun.
*wink*
i woke up in the morning with a bad fever. my bones were aching all over and my mom concluded that ive catched a cold. out of nowhere? how unbelievable. i clearly remembered that i didnt walk in the rain nor did anything that exposed me to any remote chances of catching cold. so why did i fall ill? beats me.
feeling better in the afternoon, i went to sch as planned. cos i made an agreement with dearie to go through the case with her. it was painfully long the process. i hate value chain analysis and, most of all, i hate organisational behavior. if i have the slightest interest in it, i would have specialised in HR right? for obvious reason i'm doing marketing! gosh. and freaking AB311, strategic management, has to be an integration of all business specialisation, OB being one of the major parts. just spell out F. U. C. K. i'm not quite done with the revision yet. i'm betting on my luck for OB. as always.
after the discusion, dearie and i left school at 6 plus. freak. on the way home, i felt freaking cold. the kinda cold that develops from within oneself. the cold was like thousand of needles poking me from within. seriously it was kinda torturous. i lied dead on the sofa.
no amount of pills could make me feel better. it was like damn fucked up. how could this kinda thing happen to me on the day before my core paper. am i lucky or what?
i was so close to giving up. the thought of visiting the doctor for mc crossed my mind a handful of times. however, i told myself no way am i gonna repeat AB311 even for legitimate reason. just screw it man.
i couldnt sleep even after popping in 4 kind of pills. arent pills supposed to make one drossy? especially pills for fever? the cold sturbornly just wouldnt go away. oh by the way it was so bad that i wore socks lah! can anyone imagine me wearing socks, jacket and hiding in a thick blanket?
i figured that since i couldnt sleep and rest, i'd analyse the case again. read it and browsed through my lecture notes. guess what? after i finished, i actually felt so much better. am freaking hyper now. the cold just disappeared!
eerie rite?
you know... all the while my mom was so worried. she kept coming in and out of my room. making sure that my fever drops. am kinda touched.
anyway... when i was hiding in my blanket, dearie called and we had a pretty long conversation on the phone. it reminded me of her. irresponsible piece of shit. sometimes it makes me wonder why such ppl can exist at all. what is going on in their heads when they said stuff like these? i nearly exploded, yet i know no matter how much i wanna scold these people, its not going to make any difference. worse of all, it only reflects badly of me. the best thing to do is to walk away with dignity. with your head held high. because you did no wrong. if these people have any conscience at all, which i seriously doubt so, they are the one who should feel guilty and ashame of themselves.
then again, of cos, the reality is always cruel and unfair. i will always bear in mind that no matter how wrong they can be, they still live their life as per normal. perhaps even happier than i am. for example moving in with the new girl friend... so it makes me question the rational of being a nice person and playing by the rules.
it is true that good people finish the race last.
so as you can see,
i'm quite a bitch now.
rules are meant for breaking.
i dont really care about their feelings as long as i have my fair share of fun.
*wink*
Thursday, November 16, 2006
16th November 06, Thursday 1:55am
check if its in free gear.
turn the key.
step on the clutch.
Change first gear.
release handbreak.
slowly release clutch, find biting point.
step on accelerator (abit)
release more clutch.
more petrol.
go.
ok jy i know why you will always think of what to do first when you start the car. but hey... i'm not bad a learner! and now there's a reason for me to sit in front, cos i've become xh's gear changer. with me around, all she has to do is to step on the clutch and i'll be in charge of changing the gear for her. which makes her car an auto one. how cool right? i guess i've always been paying attention to xh telling jy when to change her gear. so now i know roughly when to change to what gear. am i a fast learner or what?? haha.
ok fun stuff up ahead...
signs of flirtation:
when someone offers you a free cup of coffee.
when someone offers you a cup of warm water when you're studying.
when someone talks to you whenever there is a chance to.
when someone asks you out for supper.
when someone blatanly joke with you,
"well you can take me. if you want, i can give you my number. haha... you can consider first."
lovely.
xh asked me why didnt i agree to join that person for supper... i guess i wanted xh's company more at that point in time. and xh concluded that perhaps my interest for that person has faded a little which i dont deny. haha.
i charm my way into mich's life.. and i'm trying to pull myself out.
with a stroke of luck, i charm my way into coffee girl's life... haha... i dont mind going down to starbuck to study on monday and wednesday.
but... like i told xh,
my biggest challenge for the time being is to charm my way into v's life. haha. okie lah... i can go and dream about it... oh well exam is stressing me out.. and i'm not quite making much sense here anyway.
working with her was full of crappy fun. i really enjoyed it. am looking forward to monday! yeah yeah.
turn the key.
step on the clutch.
Change first gear.
release handbreak.
slowly release clutch, find biting point.
step on accelerator (abit)
release more clutch.
more petrol.
go.
ok jy i know why you will always think of what to do first when you start the car. but hey... i'm not bad a learner! and now there's a reason for me to sit in front, cos i've become xh's gear changer. with me around, all she has to do is to step on the clutch and i'll be in charge of changing the gear for her. which makes her car an auto one. how cool right? i guess i've always been paying attention to xh telling jy when to change her gear. so now i know roughly when to change to what gear. am i a fast learner or what?? haha.
ok fun stuff up ahead...
signs of flirtation:
when someone offers you a free cup of coffee.
when someone offers you a cup of warm water when you're studying.
when someone talks to you whenever there is a chance to.
when someone asks you out for supper.
when someone blatanly joke with you,
"well you can take me. if you want, i can give you my number. haha... you can consider first."
lovely.
xh asked me why didnt i agree to join that person for supper... i guess i wanted xh's company more at that point in time. and xh concluded that perhaps my interest for that person has faded a little which i dont deny. haha.
i charm my way into mich's life.. and i'm trying to pull myself out.
with a stroke of luck, i charm my way into coffee girl's life... haha... i dont mind going down to starbuck to study on monday and wednesday.
but... like i told xh,
my biggest challenge for the time being is to charm my way into v's life. haha. okie lah... i can go and dream about it... oh well exam is stressing me out.. and i'm not quite making much sense here anyway.
working with her was full of crappy fun. i really enjoyed it. am looking forward to monday! yeah yeah.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
15th November 06, Wednesday 12:23am
Horoscope reading for the day
The Bottom Line:
Your companions can get you an inside glimpse of the glamorous life today.
In Detail:
Your friends and companions can get you an inside glimpse of the glamorous life today. If you're going to a concert, follow a friend who tries to get backstage. If you're trying to get out of a boring chore, ask a friend to give you an excuse to say no -- you never know where this pal's famous charm can lead you! Rely on the people who care about you for a good time today. They will offer you an easy, effortless way to relax and experience something new.
i know i'm sinking into depression very slowly. it's the accumulation of everything. everyone's pain and sadness. plus mine. flashes of lies and made-up happiness.
the result of these all?
total lost of faith.
i know i've lost Him a long long time ago. i cant bare the thought of him existing in my world anymore, when sadness never seems to be able to leave me. i find it so difficult to come into terms with him. i thought i could leave my pain in his hand, that he would take good care of me, that i could have strength and faith in him, that one day i would find and have what i have always wanted. nope... i couldnt. cant. and probably will never too. if a child of his is "suffering" and yet not able to see the light, i donno how am i supposed to bring myself to him.
it's easier to just make a turn and take another route. cos the path i used to take required so much faith in him. time and again i was disappointed. often i was thrown into situations which made me feel as though i could drown in infinite misery. hope burst like bubbles. so i got exhausted and i knew the anger in me was growing. i decided to stray and shun him out of my life.
it makes me feel better this way. no more contradiction. if there is any sadness, i know i bring it upon myself. oh... weirdly, the idea of him not wanting me to be happy has been instilled in my mind since donno when. so i have to be strong.. to prove that i dont need him. i wont succumb to him, to fate.
i want to believe in miracle.
i need to believe in miracle.
its not going to happen. i know.
anyway... a photo of us in dan ryan's on the 12 of november. suan's bday. we burst into laughter because the camera which the waitress used was kinda old fashion. the flash light popped out when she clicked. kinda hilarious if you were there to see it.
The Bottom Line:
Your companions can get you an inside glimpse of the glamorous life today.
In Detail:
Your friends and companions can get you an inside glimpse of the glamorous life today. If you're going to a concert, follow a friend who tries to get backstage. If you're trying to get out of a boring chore, ask a friend to give you an excuse to say no -- you never know where this pal's famous charm can lead you! Rely on the people who care about you for a good time today. They will offer you an easy, effortless way to relax and experience something new.
i know i'm sinking into depression very slowly. it's the accumulation of everything. everyone's pain and sadness. plus mine. flashes of lies and made-up happiness.
the result of these all?
total lost of faith.
it's easier to just make a turn and take another route. cos the path i used to take required so much faith in him. time and again i was disappointed. often i was thrown into situations which made me feel as though i could drown in infinite misery. hope burst like bubbles. so i got exhausted and i knew the anger in me was growing. i decided to stray and shun him out of my life.
it makes me feel better this way. no more contradiction. if there is any sadness, i know i bring it upon myself. oh... weirdly, the idea of him not wanting me to be happy has been instilled in my mind since donno when. so i have to be strong.. to prove that i dont need him. i wont succumb to him, to fate.
i want to believe in miracle.
i need to believe in miracle.
its not going to happen. i know.
anyway... a photo of us in dan ryan's on the 12 of november. suan's bday. we burst into laughter because the camera which the waitress used was kinda old fashion. the flash light popped out when she clicked. kinda hilarious if you were there to see it.
the pressure on my teeth is damn shiok!
no pain no gain.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
14th November 06, Tuesday 1:43am
me with dozens of balloons at the back seat of xh's car. most of them are blown by me, for suan's bday... the balloons were really colourful... i like the feeling of being surounded by them : )
our effort. the rainbow theme for suan's bday.
piggy doggy friend literally zhu peng gou you. (from left to right)
well not all photos are pretty one. one of the "rare" time when i got tipsy or drunk (if you'd rather use this word).
lucky tortise. one of the rare objects that gets inbetween my boobies. fucking lucky tortise.
tortise and i on the pyramid in west coast.
char, tortise and i. sorry that tortise seems to be in most of the pics. he's like my best pal in xh's car.
our lovely night at west coast. everybody looks sooooo cheerful.
one of my favourite group photos. oh with tortise again! *wink*
one last shot.
14th November 06, Tuesday 1:25am
i cried. am still sobbing.
im speechless. the emotion that i have in me is overwhelming. but i have no idea how to express it. its suffocating me. i dont understand. its upseting yet there's nothing anybody can do. its torturous to know such a sad story. if only fairy tale exists.
i watched "GIA". this movie starring angelina jolie. gosh she's gorgeous.
but the life story of this supermodel, Gia, is exceptionally touching and saddening. i cant put my finger on anything specific.
her life, or rather, her career is what every girl has always wanted or yearned to have. however, what lied beneath her career was something so broken. so torn up...
no matter what was speeding pass her... something remained constant.
her love for linda. gosh...
"you are the only one. always the only one"
(if i have quoted it correctly)
nothing could stop my tears from rolling onto my cheeks.
if only she hadn't turned to drugs.
if only she could have another chance.
the chance linda wanted to have with her.
that would end the fairy tale beautifully.... wouldnt it?
HE doesnt allow beautiful thing exist on this earth.
im speechless. the emotion that i have in me is overwhelming. but i have no idea how to express it. its suffocating me. i dont understand. its upseting yet there's nothing anybody can do. its torturous to know such a sad story. if only fairy tale exists.
i watched "GIA". this movie starring angelina jolie. gosh she's gorgeous.
but the life story of this supermodel, Gia, is exceptionally touching and saddening. i cant put my finger on anything specific.
her life, or rather, her career is what every girl has always wanted or yearned to have. however, what lied beneath her career was something so broken. so torn up...
no matter what was speeding pass her... something remained constant.
her love for linda. gosh...
"you are the only one. always the only one"
(if i have quoted it correctly)
nothing could stop my tears from rolling onto my cheeks.
if only she hadn't turned to drugs.
if only she could have another chance.
the chance linda wanted to have with her.
that would end the fairy tale beautifully.... wouldnt it?
HE doesnt allow beautiful thing exist on this earth.
Monday, November 13, 2006
13th November 06, Monday 12:49am
I wanna be a pillion. it feels great to ride in the night.
in one line --> i had fun tonight.
i thought i'd be left feeling disappointed but xh made my wish came true. *_*
dinner at dan ryan's was wuahaha.. expensive even after the discount. it simply means that we ate damn hell of alot. xh, char and i gulbed down 5shots of oyster shooters? yea... at the end of the main course, we were actually thinking of more oyster shooters until jy warned char bout her puking. the prime steak was delicious. i have finally learnt to eat medium rare steak. never did like it when the meat was bloody and watery. well i'm learning now. it still tasted a tiny bit weird but i overcame the fear by chewing it with mash potatoes. hahaha.
the waiter mixed up our order. we were kinda irritated. it wasnt once but twice. i wanted a soft shell crab and jy wanted a roasted chicken. but guess what? he gave us a plate of roasted chicken with soft shell crab. and we wanted a chilli nachos with the chilli at the side but he just served us a bowl of chilli. oh yea... i almost forgot about him giving xh vegetables instead of the mash potato that she wanted. wth! xh wanted to tip him before leaving but i insisted that she shouldnt because of the poor service! argh...
and i realised the past few times that i went dan ryan's for sautee mushroom, the s.m. tasted like shit. xh said most likely its because of little quality control. if it ever happens again, i can always ask them to serve me another dish. hello... after all i'm paying the full price right? why should i be treated with substandard? yes... as bitchy as i seem to be... i'll do just that.
luckily today's sautee mushroom was all right.
we had bnj desert at west coast after dinner. we climbed the pyramid thingy and took lotsa photos. chilling out such a serene place is the best thing to do when one has no plan in mind of where to go.
anyway... gotta start studying tmr.
i love tonight even though it started off quite shakily.
in one line --> i had fun tonight.
i thought i'd be left feeling disappointed but xh made my wish came true. *_*
dinner at dan ryan's was wuahaha.. expensive even after the discount. it simply means that we ate damn hell of alot. xh, char and i gulbed down 5shots of oyster shooters? yea... at the end of the main course, we were actually thinking of more oyster shooters until jy warned char bout her puking. the prime steak was delicious. i have finally learnt to eat medium rare steak. never did like it when the meat was bloody and watery. well i'm learning now. it still tasted a tiny bit weird but i overcame the fear by chewing it with mash potatoes. hahaha.
the waiter mixed up our order. we were kinda irritated. it wasnt once but twice. i wanted a soft shell crab and jy wanted a roasted chicken. but guess what? he gave us a plate of roasted chicken with soft shell crab. and we wanted a chilli nachos with the chilli at the side but he just served us a bowl of chilli. oh yea... i almost forgot about him giving xh vegetables instead of the mash potato that she wanted. wth! xh wanted to tip him before leaving but i insisted that she shouldnt because of the poor service! argh...
and i realised the past few times that i went dan ryan's for sautee mushroom, the s.m. tasted like shit. xh said most likely its because of little quality control. if it ever happens again, i can always ask them to serve me another dish. hello... after all i'm paying the full price right? why should i be treated with substandard? yes... as bitchy as i seem to be... i'll do just that.
luckily today's sautee mushroom was all right.
we had bnj desert at west coast after dinner. we climbed the pyramid thingy and took lotsa photos. chilling out such a serene place is the best thing to do when one has no plan in mind of where to go.
anyway... gotta start studying tmr.
i love tonight even though it started off quite shakily.
Saturday, November 11, 2006
11th November 06, Saturday 6:37pm
i love netball training. absolutely am crazy bout it. even if exam is round the corner. even if i just had training yesterday. even if i had mahjong session with 3 crazy ppl in the wee hours. i still went for training on saturday morning.
i had my butt kicked! it sure felt good. buahahahaha.
i miss training now. im sure that i'll miss it even more when xh is away. though we performed pretty badly this morning, the effort was not wasted. i'm not sure bout you ppl... but im thrilled that ive learnt the movements and put them into good use. only wished that i had done a little better on the catching and definitely shooting. give me some time, i'll master the fine art of putting in goals. yeap.
tired. tired. tired.
but....
shiok man!
i had my butt kicked! it sure felt good. buahahahaha.
i miss training now. im sure that i'll miss it even more when xh is away. though we performed pretty badly this morning, the effort was not wasted. i'm not sure bout you ppl... but im thrilled that ive learnt the movements and put them into good use. only wished that i had done a little better on the catching and definitely shooting. give me some time, i'll master the fine art of putting in goals. yeap.
tired. tired. tired.
but....
shiok man!
Friday, November 10, 2006
10th November 06, Friday 11:40pm
the dinner was really good. good company and food.
happy birthday dearie.
somehow i feel that i havent done enough for you. i really wanted it to be so special and surprising for you... but the plans got all back fired. and there's training...
bad decision to walk around town in my fav heels. 3inches. gosh... blisters everywhere. thanx.
training tmr.
i love training. burnt all the foie gras that i ate.
and i didnt play well...
happy birthday dearie.
somehow i feel that i havent done enough for you. i really wanted it to be so special and surprising for you... but the plans got all back fired. and there's training...
bad decision to walk around town in my fav heels. 3inches. gosh... blisters everywhere. thanx.
training tmr.
i love training. burnt all the foie gras that i ate.
and i didnt play well...
Thursday, November 09, 2006
9th November 06, Thursday 7:23pm
Usually they dont believe me when i say my flu is different. only my bb knows and my mom, of cos. because they saw me in my worst state. sometimes the flu was so bad that i had to carry a big box of tissue out. which bb caught me doing so back in pj.
normal flu pills dont work on me. i need to get the 6dollars for ten kind. for the last time, im going to remember the name for the pills. instead of having to tell whoever who's buying it for me, "the $6plus for 10 pills, in a flat rectangular white box that has pink stripes on it."
i just dont understand why i have super sensitive nose. cant bloody slp in an air con room for too long. and you better pray hard that i dont catch a flu. because everytime that i do, i feel like my nose will drop onto the floor any minute.
im dying here.
i had to settle some stuff urgently just now on my "dying" bed. cant believe that i actually called mich. omfg. but i dont have a choice! but im glad i got things done.
im going to bed.
normal flu pills dont work on me. i need to get the 6dollars for ten kind. for the last time, im going to remember the name for the pills. instead of having to tell whoever who's buying it for me, "the $6plus for 10 pills, in a flat rectangular white box that has pink stripes on it."
i just dont understand why i have super sensitive nose. cant bloody slp in an air con room for too long. and you better pray hard that i dont catch a flu. because everytime that i do, i feel like my nose will drop onto the floor any minute.
im dying here.
i had to settle some stuff urgently just now on my "dying" bed. cant believe that i actually called mich. omfg. but i dont have a choice! but im glad i got things done.
im going to bed.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
8th November 06, Wednesday 4:05am
AB311 presentation tmr and guess what? i just came home like half an hour ago! how great is that? haha. no prize for guessing where i went just now.
in any case, to make my conscience less guilty, i studied AB311 from 3 plus in the afternoon till 10 plus at night before heading down to thumper. honestly, i swear that thumper did not even cross my mind until someone (actually a couple of them) came msging me online this morning while i was (supposingly) discussing AB311 presentation with noelle and eddy. i rejected them nicely but freaking asses just had to tempt me with the "hey the theme is pink bikini night... are you sure you wanna give it a miss??"
fuck man. thanx ar.
the next minute, i was on the phone mega msging ppl.
fortunately i had my ever-so-curious ex-colleagues, sara and candice and my lovely piggy to go down with me.
i conclude that i cant go thumper every other month cos the excitement will wear off. and the boredom will set in. really. for a period of time, (okie lah.. besides wanting to avoid some ppl which i absolutely have no need to) i just got so sick of going down to see the same old gang of ppl. its as though they own the whole place. and i hate seeing 17/18 ginnas! really. it annoys the hell out of me to see them posing as though they have been through it all. i detest them for smoking and drinking at that age. cos i believe certain acts can only be carried out at certain age. if you have not met the limit, pls just behave like how you're supposed to. dont be a poser. just for the sake of everyone.
so after 5 months of absenting myself from that small little club, i finally made my way down. only to find that the crowd changed a little. better. pretty pretty girls. absolutely eye pleasing to me. especially when they were dancing just a couple of steps away from me. totally worth that 15buckeroos. adding on to it was a couple of them were wearing bikini/bra only. buahahhaha. (since you wanna show, i'll look)
and there was this lap dance. walao eh.. erotic is the word to use. irene ang caught suan and i watching... so she turned around and teased the couple. haha kinda funny.
clubbing has a whole new meaning to me. it doesnt mean that you must have booze and dance your ass off. i had fun too by just having a few sips of vodka and chocolate martini and chilling out at the side. watching ppl have fun is not as bad or boring as one thinks it is. the fun only begins when you get to check out all the ppl and what naughty/stupid/embarrassing stuff they are doing.
btw i read a friend's comm studies report on a gay project. the title is
IMPACT OF HOMOSEXUALITY
ON THE HOMOSEXUAL PERSON’S
PERSONAL AND SOCIAL LIFE
i'll just be straight to the point.
crap.
that group is lucky that the person marking the report is straight. cos i would fail them if i am the tutor. most of the statements made are without any supporting facts. furthermore, they simply make no sense at all.
eg1. history of gay culture in singapore-->
The sex-ratio was disproportionate for much of the 19th and early 20th centuries because there was an influx of male immigrant labourers from China, India and Indonesia. Among the Chinese, who grew to form three-quarters of the population, the gender ratio at one point was 15 men for every woman. Many of the women in this context were also in Singapore as prostitutes rather than as wives of male immigrants.
so?
naturally, being the reader, i would infer that if u lock a group of 15 guys and a girl in a room for a month or so, chances of some of the guys being not straight are high??? not enough girls to share so guys just get turn on by other guys???
fuck... good looking butches with good character are super rare in singapore... and most feminine girls are attached... IM GOING TO BE STRAIGHT SOON! (hurray for my mom)
i think its damn stupid for a group of straight people to try to do a project on the gay community when they have zero knowledge of them to begin with. you will read page after page of stereotypical views when they keep emphasising that they do not wanna stereotype. the fact that they label them (categorising them into groups) is a form of stereotyping, isnt it?
speechless.
in any case, to make my conscience less guilty, i studied AB311 from 3 plus in the afternoon till 10 plus at night before heading down to thumper. honestly, i swear that thumper did not even cross my mind until someone (actually a couple of them) came msging me online this morning while i was (supposingly) discussing AB311 presentation with noelle and eddy. i rejected them nicely but freaking asses just had to tempt me with the "hey the theme is pink bikini night... are you sure you wanna give it a miss??"
fuck man. thanx ar.
the next minute, i was on the phone mega msging ppl.
fortunately i had my ever-so-curious ex-colleagues, sara and candice and my lovely piggy to go down with me.
i conclude that i cant go thumper every other month cos the excitement will wear off. and the boredom will set in. really. for a period of time, (okie lah.. besides wanting to avoid some ppl which i absolutely have no need to) i just got so sick of going down to see the same old gang of ppl. its as though they own the whole place. and i hate seeing 17/18 ginnas! really. it annoys the hell out of me to see them posing as though they have been through it all. i detest them for smoking and drinking at that age. cos i believe certain acts can only be carried out at certain age. if you have not met the limit, pls just behave like how you're supposed to. dont be a poser. just for the sake of everyone.
so after 5 months of absenting myself from that small little club, i finally made my way down. only to find that the crowd changed a little. better. pretty pretty girls. absolutely eye pleasing to me. especially when they were dancing just a couple of steps away from me. totally worth that 15buckeroos. adding on to it was a couple of them were wearing bikini/bra only. buahahhaha. (since you wanna show, i'll look)
and there was this lap dance. walao eh.. erotic is the word to use. irene ang caught suan and i watching... so she turned around and teased the couple. haha kinda funny.
clubbing has a whole new meaning to me. it doesnt mean that you must have booze and dance your ass off. i had fun too by just having a few sips of vodka and chocolate martini and chilling out at the side. watching ppl have fun is not as bad or boring as one thinks it is. the fun only begins when you get to check out all the ppl and what naughty/stupid/embarrassing stuff they are doing.
btw i read a friend's comm studies report on a gay project. the title is
IMPACT OF HOMOSEXUALITY
ON THE HOMOSEXUAL PERSON’S
PERSONAL AND SOCIAL LIFE
i'll just be straight to the point.
crap.
that group is lucky that the person marking the report is straight. cos i would fail them if i am the tutor. most of the statements made are without any supporting facts. furthermore, they simply make no sense at all.
eg1. history of gay culture in singapore-->
The sex-ratio was disproportionate for much of the 19th and early 20th centuries because there was an influx of male immigrant labourers from China, India and Indonesia. Among the Chinese, who grew to form three-quarters of the population, the gender ratio at one point was 15 men for every woman. Many of the women in this context were also in Singapore as prostitutes rather than as wives of male immigrants.
so?
naturally, being the reader, i would infer that if u lock a group of 15 guys and a girl in a room for a month or so, chances of some of the guys being not straight are high??? not enough girls to share so guys just get turn on by other guys???
fuck... good looking butches with good character are super rare in singapore... and most feminine girls are attached... IM GOING TO BE STRAIGHT SOON! (hurray for my mom)
i think its damn stupid for a group of straight people to try to do a project on the gay community when they have zero knowledge of them to begin with. you will read page after page of stereotypical views when they keep emphasising that they do not wanna stereotype. the fact that they label them (categorising them into groups) is a form of stereotyping, isnt it?
speechless.
Sunday, November 05, 2006
5th November 06, Sunday 11:53pm
im getting a little more impatient with my braces. everytime i go for my appointment, my dentist sensed the impatience that i have. his advice was always the same, a little bit more to go. 6 more sessions, 5 more, 4 more... however, somehow my guts tell me that its not going to be that way. i have to put those wire longer. my bloody bottom teeth is forever moving like a snail. too slow. too darn slow. i have always been very obedient. i never fail to put on my rubber band. until recently, that's because i've lost the packet.
i just dont understand why. i cant see the improvement. the holes are still there. never seem to close by a fair bit at all. i feel fucking ugly. i smile like an idiot with the metal pieces reflecting back.
i donno how long more i can stand these metals in me. whenever i feel down about them, (ya... believe me i do feel bad having to put them on. just that i never complain openly) i told myself 2 darn years and it'll all be over. but as the deadline is drawing nearer, my impatience is growing stronger.
and the weirdest part about this is i dont think i'll look anyway different from the past. still as fucking ugly as i always am.
then... i went to look at some old photos.. and i came across a few... gosh.. i sure look fucking horrible back then with my fucking crooket teeth. how can anybody stand talking to me? how can?
cos i cant stand talking to m**h.
i just dont understand why. i cant see the improvement. the holes are still there. never seem to close by a fair bit at all. i feel fucking ugly. i smile like an idiot with the metal pieces reflecting back.
i donno how long more i can stand these metals in me. whenever i feel down about them, (ya... believe me i do feel bad having to put them on. just that i never complain openly) i told myself 2 darn years and it'll all be over. but as the deadline is drawing nearer, my impatience is growing stronger.
and the weirdest part about this is i dont think i'll look anyway different from the past. still as fucking ugly as i always am.
then... i went to look at some old photos.. and i came across a few... gosh.. i sure look fucking horrible back then with my fucking crooket teeth. how can anybody stand talking to me? how can?
cos i cant stand talking to m**h.
okie... just a gentle reminder to myself that maybe my teeth is much straighter. and im not as ugly as i think i am after all.
5th November 06, Sunday 9:50pm
alright.... more halloween's photos..
enjoy
group photos again... a bunch of dressed up girls having fun at work on a saturday night. dee is thinking of having a back to school theme for one of the saturdays. told her ive done that for two parties! and she said maybe we'll have a retro night then. i was like... "er... i think i prefer dressing up as a principle to wearing big round frog-like specs."
check out dearie's and my make up... we sure looked dead man which was darn cool. make up provided by me and eye liner by dee hahha... only i have purple make ups. thanx to my obsession in purple.
my pregnant ij uniform and dearie's sexy, transclucent la zenza's top. trust me its freaking sexy.
us in the toilet, preparing ourselves. while dearie spent almost 80 bucks on her costume, i only spent 3bucks on my little blue headband and 3bucks on the tube of blood. cost efficiency.
okie... my kian pa face.
this is cool. my fav photo.
enjoy
group photos again... a bunch of dressed up girls having fun at work on a saturday night. dee is thinking of having a back to school theme for one of the saturdays. told her ive done that for two parties! and she said maybe we'll have a retro night then. i was like... "er... i think i prefer dressing up as a principle to wearing big round frog-like specs."
check out dearie's and my make up... we sure looked dead man which was darn cool. make up provided by me and eye liner by dee hahha... only i have purple make ups. thanx to my obsession in purple.
my pregnant ij uniform and dearie's sexy, transclucent la zenza's top. trust me its freaking sexy.
us in the toilet, preparing ourselves. while dearie spent almost 80 bucks on her costume, i only spent 3bucks on my little blue headband and 3bucks on the tube of blood. cost efficiency.
okie... my kian pa face.
this is cool. my fav photo.
5th November 06, Sunday 12:12am
to prove my point bout blog searching... i found dee's blog and rip some photos from her blog. not that i cant get the disc that she burnt for us... oh well this is faster and easier lah.
from left to right:
me = suicide student
dearie = suicide run away bride
jolene = witch
theo = evil charlie chaplin
dee = corpse bride
uncle w.t. with a knife on his head
Saturday, November 04, 2006
4th November 06, Saturday 2:34am
i changed my friendster's profile because i'm kinda sicked of the same old shit.
s.h. and celine said that i swear alot. yeah.. i admit that i do. i used to hate the idea of ppl swearing and cursing. however, lately my temper has gone bad. the word fuck shots out like water running from an open tap. honestly i cant remember how many times i said fuck tonight.
the scoop dropped onto the floor
(fuck)
hot fudge dripped on my jeans
(fuck)
wafer broke
(fuck)
stupid customer
(fuck)
these are minor "fucks"
those that really made my blood boils were the two mother-fuckers.
one working as cathay's receptionist. that bloody fat ass... i hope she gets fatter as each day passes by.
and the other one working in ntu's SAO.
one is too fat and the other one too skinny. high chances of them not having bf. no wonder they have got such bad attitude and temper. menopause. fear of being spinster. oh whatever lah...
im in love with this NUM tank top that costs $59.90. fuck man. i need to save money. yet all these temptations never seem to leave me. if not for that stupid bitch working in cathay, i could have gotten that tank top for free.
s.h. and celine said that i swear alot. yeah.. i admit that i do. i used to hate the idea of ppl swearing and cursing. however, lately my temper has gone bad. the word fuck shots out like water running from an open tap. honestly i cant remember how many times i said fuck tonight.
the scoop dropped onto the floor
(fuck)
hot fudge dripped on my jeans
(fuck)
wafer broke
(fuck)
stupid customer
(fuck)
these are minor "fucks"
those that really made my blood boils were the two mother-fuckers.
one working as cathay's receptionist. that bloody fat ass... i hope she gets fatter as each day passes by.
and the other one working in ntu's SAO.
one is too fat and the other one too skinny. high chances of them not having bf. no wonder they have got such bad attitude and temper. menopause. fear of being spinster. oh whatever lah...
im in love with this NUM tank top that costs $59.90. fuck man. i need to save money. yet all these temptations never seem to leave me. if not for that stupid bitch working in cathay, i could have gotten that tank top for free.
Friday, November 03, 2006
3rd November 06, Friday 2:52am
freak man. its already november. i'm really speachless. soon... it'll be the last day of my life. who knows? time just shoots its way pass me without me even realising it. i guess its pretty much the same for almost everyone.
dee taught me how to blog search. oh forget about what you've done to prevent others from searching your blog. you cant hide and you cant run. as long as you have a blog, there is a way to locate you. its easy. i just have to type a few key words. and tah tah... everything is out. unless you are like me who uses only one nick. and i'm not any smarter too. dumb ass me pretty much uses this nick for all other accounts, msn, friendster, fridae, blog, email etc. so if anybody really wanna hunt me down... just type my nick and im out. its even worse if you have a name like xh or dearie's. so freaking unique... by the way dearie i checked urs too. i located urs through your friend's. (apparently she was either a.) jealous or b.) envious of your high achievement) haha.
anyway... im going to konk out any minute. at this rate i cant finish prison break by this weekend. sucks man.
i feel like a piece of shit.
why?
cos i only attract flies.
dee taught me how to blog search. oh forget about what you've done to prevent others from searching your blog. you cant hide and you cant run. as long as you have a blog, there is a way to locate you. its easy. i just have to type a few key words. and tah tah... everything is out. unless you are like me who uses only one nick. and i'm not any smarter too. dumb ass me pretty much uses this nick for all other accounts, msn, friendster, fridae, blog, email etc. so if anybody really wanna hunt me down... just type my nick and im out. its even worse if you have a name like xh or dearie's. so freaking unique... by the way dearie i checked urs too. i located urs through your friend's. (apparently she was either a.) jealous or b.) envious of your high achievement) haha.
anyway... im going to konk out any minute. at this rate i cant finish prison break by this weekend. sucks man.
why?
cos i only attract flies.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
31st October 06, Tuesday 11:54am
Horoscope reading:
You know in old Hollywood movies when the hero is in the lifeboat and it springs a leak? Today, you can keep that kind of panicky moment from happening by speaking up as soon as you see that something is going wrong. Now is not the time to keep your peace or to let intimidating people keep you quiet. You must have confidence in who you are and what you can offer to the world, because you have a calming influence in even the most panic-filled situations.
what if im the panicky one???
You know in old Hollywood movies when the hero is in the lifeboat and it springs a leak? Today, you can keep that kind of panicky moment from happening by speaking up as soon as you see that something is going wrong. Now is not the time to keep your peace or to let intimidating people keep you quiet. You must have confidence in who you are and what you can offer to the world, because you have a calming influence in even the most panic-filled situations.
what if im the panicky one???
31st October 06, Tuesday 12:13am
sigh... i dont wanna start with this but i cant help it. my fyp groupmate just sent us a mail updating or rather rushing us to get our ass on something. well her tone was abit kinda like "you-guys-really-ought-to-do-something-man". i dont blame her. i admit that i have terrible time management when it comes to fyp. i dread it. i hate it. i just cant seem to get started. i told xh bout it and her reply was well i better start doing something. I KNOW I KNOW... ill do it. somehow. knowing is not good enough-->doing it is the solution. argh.
after working, i went down to far east for facial. bad decision cos i didnt make appointment before that. i lost my beautician's number. so i thought i could try my luck which was bad. nonetheless i stayed for a good whole 45min talking to her while waiting for her client. wth.. 45min i could have gotten my facial done. on the other hand, i understand that she couldnt do it for me cos her client might appear at any minute. so yea i found out her age which surprised the hell out of me. and i like her alot. she's not like any other typical beauticians who only know how to push packages to you. i kept telling her i wanna sign up for this and that, however her reaction to that was contrary to normal beautician's happy acceptance. she gave me constructive feedback and turned me down eventually. nice man...
had a one on one date with xh. boy was i glad to meet up with her again. haha... she wanted to buy starbuck for her managers, so she dropped me at the side of forum and i rushed to the nearest store. i went it and the first "thing" i noticed was the cashier. haha.. cant help it, its normal reaction to check out ppl who fall into my radar. while waiting for her to finish settling the order before me, i went to browse something (this book that is a compilation of journal, poems and essays by some sick children). a minute or so later, the cashier asked me for my order.
"erm.. can i have an ice latte, and ice jelly caramel mariato or machiato or something like that... i really have no idea. and grande pls."
"its caramel machiato but we have run out of ice jelly."
"oh ice jelly is something like pearl lah?"
"yea."
"ok"
but well... that's not just it... i went to the pick up counter for my order and hmmm i wonder why the cashier ended up being the one preparing my order and packing them up for me too...
"the ice latte is unsweeten... do you wanna add sugar syrup?"
"errr its not for me.. i'll call my friend and ask her ya."
"oh its ok... i'll help you out with that."
(meanwhile she poured some sugar syrup into this other grande cup.)
"dont you have to account for that? that's like another 20 cents gone."
"nah. its ok. it'll lighten your burden."
"thanx"
*smile* *smile*
hmmmm.
great. told xh bout my nice "encounter" when i got into her car. and we laugh it out.
can i go starbuck for exam revision??? *wink*
after working, i went down to far east for facial. bad decision cos i didnt make appointment before that. i lost my beautician's number. so i thought i could try my luck which was bad. nonetheless i stayed for a good whole 45min talking to her while waiting for her client. wth.. 45min i could have gotten my facial done. on the other hand, i understand that she couldnt do it for me cos her client might appear at any minute. so yea i found out her age which surprised the hell out of me. and i like her alot. she's not like any other typical beauticians who only know how to push packages to you. i kept telling her i wanna sign up for this and that, however her reaction to that was contrary to normal beautician's happy acceptance. she gave me constructive feedback and turned me down eventually. nice man...
had a one on one date with xh. boy was i glad to meet up with her again. haha... she wanted to buy starbuck for her managers, so she dropped me at the side of forum and i rushed to the nearest store. i went it and the first "thing" i noticed was the cashier. haha.. cant help it, its normal reaction to check out ppl who fall into my radar. while waiting for her to finish settling the order before me, i went to browse something (this book that is a compilation of journal, poems and essays by some sick children). a minute or so later, the cashier asked me for my order.
"erm.. can i have an ice latte, and ice jelly caramel mariato or machiato or something like that... i really have no idea. and grande pls."
"its caramel machiato but we have run out of ice jelly."
"oh ice jelly is something like pearl lah?"
"yea."
"ok"
but well... that's not just it... i went to the pick up counter for my order and hmmm i wonder why the cashier ended up being the one preparing my order and packing them up for me too...
"the ice latte is unsweeten... do you wanna add sugar syrup?"
"errr its not for me.. i'll call my friend and ask her ya."
"oh its ok... i'll help you out with that."
(meanwhile she poured some sugar syrup into this other grande cup.)
"dont you have to account for that? that's like another 20 cents gone."
"nah. its ok. it'll lighten your burden."
"thanx"
*smile* *smile*
hmmmm.
great. told xh bout my nice "encounter" when i got into her car. and we laugh it out.
can i go starbuck for exam revision??? *wink*
Monday, October 30, 2006
30th October 06, Monday 1:03am
today's horoscope reading is kinda elusive, until i read the gist.
Let go of one of your longest-held wishes and focus on creating bright, new ones.
im beginning to think that im a sucker for pain and hurt. its crazy. i complained alot when ppl treated me badly. yet i'd do the greatest stuff for them (that's why char and jy think that im a very good gf). and right now, i kinda yearn for that sort of treatment. perhaps im just longing for the attention, to know that at least there is someone who is that close and matters to me alot.
im feeling jaded for being too self-centered. too much attention is spent on myself. i want to diversify it.
there's this song that jamie and i love a lot. Look Away by chicago. do check out the lyrics cos its sooo touching. jamie told me she cried when she read the lyrics... i would too if only i can take a step back and let loose.
i think i might stop msging mich. i cant see where we're heading.
kinda fucked up.
trust me... its all because of chicago's songs. i brought it home from work so that i can rip the entire album.
if you see me walking by
and the tears are in my eyes
look away, baby, look away
and if we meet on the streets someday
and i dont know what to say
look away, baby, look away
dont look at me...
i dont want you to see me this way
Let go of one of your longest-held wishes and focus on creating bright, new ones.
im beginning to think that im a sucker for pain and hurt. its crazy. i complained alot when ppl treated me badly. yet i'd do the greatest stuff for them (that's why char and jy think that im a very good gf). and right now, i kinda yearn for that sort of treatment. perhaps im just longing for the attention, to know that at least there is someone who is that close and matters to me alot.
im feeling jaded for being too self-centered. too much attention is spent on myself. i want to diversify it.
there's this song that jamie and i love a lot. Look Away by chicago. do check out the lyrics cos its sooo touching. jamie told me she cried when she read the lyrics... i would too if only i can take a step back and let loose.
i think i might stop msging mich. i cant see where we're heading.
kinda fucked up.
trust me... its all because of chicago's songs. i brought it home from work so that i can rip the entire album.
if you see me walking by
and the tears are in my eyes
look away, baby, look away
and if we meet on the streets someday
and i dont know what to say
look away, baby, look away
dont look at me...
i dont want you to see me this way
Saturday, October 28, 2006
28th October 06, Saturday 3:03am
dont be too nice to me.
i'll take you for granted.
i'll make use of you.
i dont wanna hurt you.
but being the bitch that i am,
i'll receive what is given to me.
sigh.
im just a bitch.
do i fucking give a damn?
nah.
i'll take you for granted.
i'll make use of you.
i dont wanna hurt you.
but being the bitch that i am,
i'll receive what is given to me.
sigh.
im just a bitch.
do i fucking give a damn?
nah.
Friday, October 27, 2006
Monday, October 23, 2006
23rd October 06, Monday 8:55pm
when was the last time that i received a bag full of goodies from someone? erm... im not talking about sch goodie bags but one that was specially bought or made by someone.
was working in usq alone. as usual, i love monday morning especially when i am doing opening alone. cos i am the boss. the one and only person in charged. i get to eat whatever i want. ok that's not really the point. but the best part about working on a monday morning is there is hardly any customer. so i just have to make sure everything is set, pos is opened, lights are on and be there physically to run the store. mentally i'll be in the world of my endless literature reviews. so bottom line is i get paid for studying, in a way lah... hahaha. so i was sitting at my favourite corner near the fridge and my phone peeped. picked it up and read the msg.
"go to the baby chair there now..."
i was like hmmm... what the hell??? i looked up and there wasnt anyone or anything. so i replied asking why. but all i got was a firm command. damn... in the end after much reluctance, i went out only to find a precious moment bag on the floor. gosh... i picked it up and saw a present inside. i was sooo freaked out! damn it. i hurried back to my small little corner and checked out the whole mall and i saw her. omg omg omg!
she bought a print note book, a teddy bear and a card. gosh the freakiest part is both the notebook and the bear are purple. damn man. how the hell does she know i love purple. just when i was panicking, my phone peeped again.
"i hope you like it. i'll be hanging around. "
omg omg omg!
i crawled to the cash register area, took the phone and called my emergency hotline.
and my dear xh was laughing at me. i think. damn her. i was freaking out and all she said was never be cheeky with butches. COS U NEVER KNOW WHAT THEY WILL DO!
shit lah.
anyway... she came to the store again. bought me subway... that was when i got a closer look at her. hmmm...
honestly in my mind i was wondering..
sigh. why didnt the person whom i wish to see go down?
aiyo why why why?
damn bitchy. oh what the hell... like i care?
haha.
was working in usq alone. as usual, i love monday morning especially when i am doing opening alone. cos i am the boss. the one and only person in charged. i get to eat whatever i want. ok that's not really the point. but the best part about working on a monday morning is there is hardly any customer. so i just have to make sure everything is set, pos is opened, lights are on and be there physically to run the store. mentally i'll be in the world of my endless literature reviews. so bottom line is i get paid for studying, in a way lah... hahaha. so i was sitting at my favourite corner near the fridge and my phone peeped. picked it up and read the msg.
"go to the baby chair there now..."
i was like hmmm... what the hell??? i looked up and there wasnt anyone or anything. so i replied asking why. but all i got was a firm command. damn... in the end after much reluctance, i went out only to find a precious moment bag on the floor. gosh... i picked it up and saw a present inside. i was sooo freaked out! damn it. i hurried back to my small little corner and checked out the whole mall and i saw her. omg omg omg!
she bought a print note book, a teddy bear and a card. gosh the freakiest part is both the notebook and the bear are purple. damn man. how the hell does she know i love purple. just when i was panicking, my phone peeped again.
"i hope you like it. i'll be hanging around. "
omg omg omg!
i crawled to the cash register area, took the phone and called my emergency hotline.
and my dear xh was laughing at me. i think. damn her. i was freaking out and all she said was never be cheeky with butches. COS U NEVER KNOW WHAT THEY WILL DO!
shit lah.
anyway... she came to the store again. bought me subway... that was when i got a closer look at her. hmmm...
honestly in my mind i was wondering..
sigh. why didnt the person whom i wish to see go down?
aiyo why why why?
damn bitchy. oh what the hell... like i care?
haha.
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