Ahoy Mateys!

We had so much fun dressing up for Halloween this year. Not to mention visiting the giant pirate ship Kevin's neighbor built in his front yard.

A Few Random Things

Parrots hanging out in our front yard:

John receiving two rank advancements in scouts. He's now working on his Star rank. Thank goodness for excellent scout leaders who've helped him get this done!

John had some tooth work done and came home with a pretty swollen cheek. He had some fun with this. Video will be forthcoming.

John's Aaronic Priesthood Ordination

The day after Brian's funeral, John was ordained to the Aaronic Priesthood. What was nice about that was all the family was still in town, so that Bishop's office was packed full of family surrounding John for that special moment. It was so nice to have all his uncles there to stand in the circle and set a good example for him.

We took some family pictures afterwards:

I love Christopher's goofy faces.

How the Boys are Doing

Well, it's been over two months since Brian passed away. Things are still fresh for the sons he left behind, although things are improving. The last couple of weeks have felt a little better and I'm seeing more normal days for the kids. For quite awhile there, just about every day was a struggle. School is still challenging for my boys some days. It can feel like too much for them at times. But we perservere and do the best we can. I'm proud of the way they're handling things. It's hard to watch them hurt so much though.

The boys are in counseling now. I've looked into grief groups for kids and there's a great one here in the Valley, but because of the way they do orientations we won't be able to take advantage of it before we move. I'll find them something in Boise.

Shortly after Brian passed away, a friend gave us a copy of the book Tear Soup.

It's a magnificent illustrated children's book about the grieving process, which my boys have read again and again. I highly recommend it for grieving children of any age. If you want to see the review I wrote about this book for Summit Series for Families, go here. I share a personal experience we've had with this book on my America Jane site. You can read about the boys' favorite part of Tear Soup here.

I also purchased three Angelcatcher books, which are journals/memory books for the kids to make to help remember their dad.

It has pages for filling in memories, the lost loved one's favorite things, wishes, feelings, etc. I wasn't sure if the kids would like that or not, but they do and John says it helps.

Because there's not a lot of room for photos in the Angelcatcher book, I also bought them little photo albums for pictures of their dad. We just barely got those and haven't yet begun the process of sorting through photos. If anyone has pictures of Brian and/or Brian and the boys they want to share, please let me know.

The change in my children's lives and the magnitude of their loss will manifest itself at random times and in sometimes unexpected ways. When we were making haunted cookie houses for Halloween, John made this:

It says: "RIP for Dad"

Little acts like this seem to help the boys. They do what they can to remember him.


On November 1, John learned about the Day of the Dead (Dia de los Muertos) in school. This is when you make a little memorial for the person who died, with their favorite foods and flowers. Then there's traditional elements like salt and candles. It's meant to be a celebration, and not a sad thing.

John decided he wanted to do this for his dad and he was really excited about it. So we scraped our plans for the evening (including homework) and went to the store to gather all Brian's favorite items. We cleared off the top of the entertainment center and assembled a feast. We had dinner in celebration of Brian: brauts, hot dogs, chips, shrimp. Mmmm.

So, that's where we are. The holidays are coming and we talk together about how to make them easier. John actually came up with a great idea for Halloween. For the first time we decorated the car for Trunk or Treat. The kids had a great time with that. Actually, that entire weekend was a lot of fun, although trick or treating was hard for John because he was missing his dad. But overall it was a good holiday, in large part because of John's idea. We'll see what we can come up with for future holidays.

It's hard to know what to do for my boys sometimes. When Brian and I divorced, I felt like I knew what to do to guide my kids through that trial, because I'd been through it myself as a child. I knew how they felt. I could relate.

This is different. I really have no idea what they're going through, other than what I'm reading or have been told. I don't know how it feels for them. That makes it difficult for me as a mother. But I trust that the Lord is mindful of them, and me, and that we'll get through this day by day, week by week, year by year.

It takes a very long time to heal from something like this, but I have hope that they will. For all of you who have given so much love and support to the boys (and myself) over the past two months, thank you so much.

Funeral Services for Brian Scott Cook

Most of you are probably aware that Brian passed away unexpectedly Saturday evening. His family, his children, myself, and his friends are all grieving this loss. It's been difficult, but we all feel the love and support of family, friends, and the Lord. The boys are doing well, considering. It will be a hard adjustment for them which will take time, but I have confidence in them and know they will be okay.

I wanted to share funeral details for anyone who doesn't already have them.


Viewing and Funeral Services for Brian Scott Cook

Viewing will be
Friday, August 26
6-8 pm
Bunker's Garden Chapel
33 N. Centennial Way
Mesa, AZ 85201

Viewing again on
Saturday, August 27
9-10 am
Held at the LDS Chapel on Southern, west of Stapley
940 E. Southern Ave
Mesa, AZ 85207

Funeral Services
Saturday, August 27
10-11 am

Graveside Service
Immediately following the funeral
Mesa Cemetery
1212 N. Center St.
Mesa, AZ 85201
Open to all

Luncheon immediately following
Back at the chapel
Open to all.

Small and Pointless Post

Otherwise entitled, "Ramblings on My New Favorite Hobby."

Kevin and I at the Arizona Museum for Natural History. This was the location of the Saturday dance for last weekend's Singles Conference. The dance was held on the rooftop terrace. Very pretty, but the concrete pavers weren't the best for dancing. We took advantage of the marble foyer when the event was over. No music required.

A few facts you just can't live without:

My favorite song for salsa dancing: "Hips Don't Lie" by Shakira

My favorite song for Nightclub Two Step: "Halo" by Beyonce

Favorite song for dancing while Kevin sings to me: "Remember When" by Alex Jackson

A song that is much improved by dancing: "Jitterbug" by Wham. An okay song that is great fun while doing the East Coast Swing.

Favorite venue for dancing: The Paragon. Or the Saturday Night Single's Dances. Or really anywhere Kevin's willing to dance with me, if I'm going to be honest.

Best location for impromptu dancing: The Cheesecake Factory. The marble in their foyer is amazing.

Worst surface to dance on: concrete. As in the concrete floor of the warehouse, location of the Friday dance for the conference. Oh it was bad. Kevin was such a good sport to stay with me.

Number of times I've posted about dancing on my facebook page: way too many. Seriously. I need to shut up about it now.

Maybe this small and pointless post will get it out of my system. I kinda doubt it, but you never know. Thanks for listening. :)

Happy April

Ah, such generic posts these days. All these catch up posts. It makes me long for the days when I wrote an entire post about something small and pointless. Hmmm. Maybe I'll do that next.

Come to think of it, I haven't been taking enough pictures for this to be much of a catch up post. Unless you call this riveting news:



This is the result of Christopher having such a fit over taking a shower (he didn't want to, in case you were wondering). He cried until he fell asleep. When I discovered him, Ben peeked his head around the corner and said, "Aw. How cute." LOL.

And here are some nice, dark pictures from a recent pack meeting:

See? Aren't you glad you came here today?

I'm actually pretty fond of the next pictures:

Kevin and I hiking the Wind Caves at Usery Park.

My shirt is not wet from sweat. Kevin kept pouring water on me to keep me cool. Worked too. I was actually concerned about this hike. This was the first grown up hike I've done in a very long time and I wasn't sure how I'd do. Turns out I did just fine. I think the dancing is improving my endurance. Makes me feel brave about trying more difficult hikes.

This is the YUMMY dinner Kevin made for us after the hike. Sooooo good.

I say things like "yummy" whilst Kevin would be talking about the balsamic vinegar reduction and topping things off with a sprinkling of freshly grated Parmesan. It is quite delicious listening to him talk about food.

Which is why I'll never give him the address to this blog. I don't think he'd be impressed with my french bread recipe. LOL. Or my little ramblings about art, because he's a trained artist and actually knows what he's talking about. I do, however, think he would appreciate some of my more humorous posts. He's a riot to talk to.

Now, for those of you who may be wondering, the answer to your questions are... No, I'm not going to marry Kevin. Yes, we've dated. Yes, we are very good friends. Yes, I've dated/am dating other people. No, I'm not going to talk about that. I'm only talking about Kevin because I feel a little obligated to at least clarify since there are pictures involved and there's no point starting rumors. I have no guilt keeping the rest of it secret. LOL.

Other news. The manuscript. Currently in limbo. My "I'm a great big chicken" gene is kicking in, but I'm working on it. I'm also working on figuring out exactly what I want to write next. Truth is, I'm no longer sure. I've changed a lot over the past year and that's coming through in my writing. I'm giving myself time to explore the possibilities before I commit to the next novel.

The boys. They're doing well. They're taking karate instead of spring sports and I can't even begin to tell you how awesome that worked out for me. No weekly practices twice a week at 3 different locations. No Saturdays overrun with games. I just pick them up from school an hour later every Monday. Now tell me that doesn't rock the house.

That's all for now folks. Perhaps I'll write a small and pointless post just to amuse myself. Just like the good ol' days. :)

A Great Start to the New Year

First of all, Travis came home from his mission in early January.


He's the last of my brothers-in-law to come home. The next missionary out will be my own John. Egads. I can't tell you how extremely grateful I was that Brian's family (and Brian) let me be a part of his return. Travis is such a sweetheart. I really love that kid. I mean man. Whatever. It's been good to have him home.


And here we have Boot Boy:

Christopher is making up for his status as the last child by being the first to get stitches and now, a broken bone. Well, a fracture. In any event, we lived with this fine specimen of high fashion for four weeks. Christopher has had one day without it and is slowly getting his strength back. Getting him to put weight on it was a bit of a struggle. We saw a lot of hopping and crawling there for awhile. Now he's limping but at least both feet are on the ground. Oh, I neglected to mention how it happened. He jumped off the top bunk over at his dad's place. A week later I caught him almost doing it again at his cousin's house.

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Are you kidding me?

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These next two pictures are here for my own entertainment. After giving a Christopher a shower and realizing we forgot a change of clothes, I left him in the bathroom while I fetched said apparel. This is what I came back to:

He was chewing gum and blew a bubble which popped all over his freshly-washed face. He even had gum in his eyelashes. He thought it was hilarious.

These are pics from our trip to Rawhide yesterday. Thanks to the 40th Anniversary celebration, we were able to enjoy all the attractions for free. (Yeehaw for free!) The lines were a bit long though, so after poking around, riding the train and watching a fabulous gun fight, the boys decided they'd had enough Western adventuring and we went home.

On a more personal note, I continue to receive plenty of encouragement and support from those around me, sometimes from the most unexpected sources. I have been greatly blessed by the Lord and am extremely grateful for it. I'm doing well and am feeling healed and adjusted. I've entered the dating scene and am really enjoying it. I'm tempted to go into more details about that, but I won't. ;) A blog just isn't the place.

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I WILL say that I've discovered (or maybe rediscovered) a passion for dancing. I'm talking the real dancing. Salsa, waltz, nightclub two step, merengue, stuff like that. I didn't even know those dances but I'm learning and I can follow a strong lead just fine. Who knew so many men my age knew how to dance like that? That's a new requirement for Future Mr. Whomever, BTW. ;)

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Along the lines of discovering or rediscovering things, I feel like I'm rediscovering my old self. There were parts of myself which I had allowed to be buried by my circumstances over the past many years, or which I buried all on my own. Turns out I'm a lot more relaxed, fun-loving and confident than I once thought. I'm having fun discovering new interests (I did mention the dancing, didn't I?) and I'm putting together a whole new way of living my life, which is exciting. There are many things I've longed to do over the years (like hike) which I'm finally getting to. I have a bit of lost time to make up for, but I'm having a blast doing it.

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Another thing I'll say, which sort of relates to the dating arena, is this: it's fun to flirt. If you married ladies aren't flirting with your husbands, you should be. ;) LOL

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Also, I started working on a new novel last Fall. A series of events caused me to set that aside and pick up the novel I sent out a few years ago, Gift of the Phoenix. I've spent quite a bit of time revising the manuscript and am currently preparing to send it out again. The list of agents I'm considering is short. I'm also sending to the only fantasy publisher who welcomes direct submissions from authors: TOR.

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If you love me at all, you will pray for my book.

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:)

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Because let me tell you, I've yet to find a career path that will provide for my family AND allow me the flexibility to actually be a mother to my children AND which does not first require 2-5 years of full-time schooling AND which will be something I actually want to do.

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Unless you consider becoming a successfully published writer as an option.

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Which I do.

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So please pray for me.

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Once I send the manuscript out, I'll return to the new book I started in the Fall. As part of my preparation for that book, I'm planning a research trip to Sedona. My good friend Tammy has agreed to be my chaperone. Should be fun!

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As for the America Jane site, I've had no time for it lately. Which is sad. Maybe if I were willing to sacrifice some of my dancing time (which I'm not) or my writing time (which I'm definitely not) I could get something done on it. Oh well. I can't do it all now can I? ;)

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Until next time!