Interview - The Preteen Dialogue

Grace's answers recorded word for, like, every word. Read the PRE-preteen interview (from 2009) here. :)

1) If you could spend your time doing only one activity, what would that activity be?
Are you seriously asking this? Riding horses. Because horses are awesome.

2) If you could learn how to do something new next week, what would you choose?
To play piano. Because piano is awesome. But I wouldn’t play boring stuff.
What would you play?
I would play non-boring stuff.

3) If you could do something to cheer up a group of kids less fortunate than you, what would you do?
Make brownies. I don’t know. I’m not good with kids.
Grace, you are a kid.
Yeah, but I'm better with non-kids.

4) If you could pick something in your bedroom that would last forever, what would you choose?
What? This question doesn’t make any sense. I don’t know. I’m not very materialistic. You should know that, Mom. (No comment. Moving right along.)

5) If you could send an e-mail or text message to anyone in the world knowing that they would in fact open it and read it, to whom would you send it? What would you say and why?
(Loud squeal!) Miranda Lambert because I love her. I LOVE HER! And I would probably put in the email that I love her. And she’s awesome. And she’s really talented. And she’s really cool. And I would ask her to come visit me. THAT WOULD BE SO COOL BECAUSE I LOVE HER!

6) If you could have a super power, what would you choose to have? Why? What super-hero name would you choose?
Oh, gosh. Not the super hero name question. It’s like, people ask that question all the time and like, super hero names are lame. Why would I want a lame name? But, I am kind of addicted to water – so I guess my super power would be to control water – to boil it or freeze it or make it move or anything along those lines. But like I said, I would never, ever, ever have a lame super hero name.
I think I would call you Water Girl.
Wow. Thanks for proving my point.

7) If you could have any animal in the world and shrink it down to a mouse-sized pet, what animal would you choose? Why? What name would you give it?
Oh, it would be so cool to have a miniature horse the size of a mouse! Umm… I would choose a zebra. Or, like, a lion. Or like, something that’s really big and mean, but if it was really small it would still be really mean but it couldn’t hurt you because it was mouse-sized. Or it would be really cool to have a bat that was nice. I would name the zebra Stripes. The lion, Simba. And the bat I would probably name Thalia. That's T-H-A-L-I-A. Isn't that pretty? (???)

8) What is the strangest sound you can make?
Oh! That little thing where my cheek goes vzzbblblzzblllbblll... (Can’t finish talking because we are both laughing too hard.) Okay, hold on I am going to try to make it… zbblblzzblllb... (Vibrates her cheek somehow. About thirty times.)
What do you think it sounds the most like in nature?
Um. It sounds like a duck.

9) What part about being a kid do you think you will miss the most when you grow up?
Being able to sit around and be lazy and not have any major responsibilities. And I don’t want to have to sign all of those millions of papers I bring home to you on the first day of school.
What do you think the adults miss the most?
Pretty much the same thing and, like, well not the paperwork thing, but like, the being lazy thing, but also, like having fun. Because some adults are really boring because they think they have to be really adulty and can’t have any fun. So just, like, being able to do dumb, silly things and laugh about it, you know?
Am I really adulty?
Yes. But not boring-adulty. Just adulty-adulty.

10) If you could swap places with anyone in the world for just a day, who would you choose? Why?
That totally depends on which day. You seriously have to take that into thought. So, take Madison. I would totally not want to take her place on Tuesday because she has softball on Tuesday and that would end my life. So, it really depends on the person. So, yeah, there’s really no way to answer that question without giving you seven different people and the days that they go with. I suggest you move on.

11) What do you think would be the best thing about being a dog or cat?
You wouldn’t have to do anything. Like, you would just eat, sleep, go to the bathroom and play all the time. Unless you were a working dog.
What would be the worst thing?
Not getting to do anything but eat, sleep, go to the bathroom and play all the time. THERE IS A FINE LINE, OKAY?

12) What is your favorite word right now? Antidisestablishmentarianism.
What do you like about it? It’s the longest word in the dictionary. I don’t think supercalifragilisticexpialidocious is in the dictionary. Is it, Mommy?
(Shrug.) When was the last time you used it?
Umm… I was in a car with a friend, and like, we were talking about Language Arts and how much I love it, and I said I know the longest word in the dictionary and I said it. And then we were trying to figure out the origins of the word and we were going through all the prefixes and there are a ton of them in that word so we got tired and just listened to the radio.

13) If you could double the time you spend on just one subject in school, what would you choose?
Language Arts because it’s awesome and really easy.
What subject would you give up in order to do that?
(Eye roll.) Ugh. Math.

14) What is the silliest thing you’ve ever done?
Are you allowed to help me answer these? Lot’s of things. Do I have to pick one? Probably the time me and Hope started posing like models in the misters at Six Flags. Do you remember that? That was funny. You should've tooken pictures of that.
It's taken, not tooken, Ms. Language Arts.

15) What is one thing that you think you will definitely be great at when you are an adult?
I can’t look into the future! How do I answer this? I don’t know. Besides that’s not a very good question for someone like me who doesn’t plan ahead fifty years. I guess I’ll be good at riding horses. Because I’ve already been riding for five years and I plan to continue. I’ll probably be great at just being an adult.

Oh, Love of God

Sometimes life torments. It's messy. Ugly.

Unpredictable.

A sudden change in circumstances can turn me inside out - so that the raw stuff inside that is usually protected is taking the brunt of it - of messy, sharp, unfair life.

Hurt can cause me to get tangled in isolation. And no matter which angel friend is physically present with me - in the same room and even holding me - if I am stranded on that island of aloneness, I am unreachable.

Where's the lifeboat? Is there hope? Can I be put back together again?

I consider Christ and the pain he suffered for us.

For you. For me.

He must think I am precious. He must really love me.

No amount of sorrow or deep hurt is too much for Him to understand. He was there. He is here. I am not alone. And He does not let me stay trapped by the pain.

He takes it.

Bears it.

Releases it's strangling hold on me.

He is grace. Restoring beauty from the ashes of life.

Taking the bad and making good with it.

The sweetest moments with Him come when I am ripped up and broken and He puts me back together with the expert craftsmanship that the Creator of all things possesses. He makes me more beautiful than before. That is pure, strong love. There is no other love like that.

Oh, love of God, how rich and pure!
How measureless and strong!
It shall forevermore endure—
The saints’ and angels’ song.

Frederick M. Lehman, 1917

Hello, World.

Going to start blogging again.

It's time. :)

Beautiful

Reposting this from September, 2008. A great New Year's reminder. Happy New Year, everyone. :)

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

Proverbs 31:30

As I embark on this little weight loss journey, I've been contemplating almost every second of today what exactly is motivating me. I struggle with vanity. Ironic; vanity is such an ugly trait. I desire to be beautiful, but why? To be more alluring? I've always been a firm believer in "looking good for my man" and especially now that I have one whose very presence raises my blood pressure several notches. But, he can't be my motivation for wanting to take care of myself physically (or emotionally, mentally, spiritually....) I have to do it for me and my relationship with my Creator. I hope it doesn't come from selfish motives, or worse, rage uncontrollably into an obsession. I don’t ever want it to stem from a lack of security in who I am.

So, the question is: Who am I?

I'm God's daughter; an heir to His throne. I am loved lavishly by my Father and I love Him back with everything I am. He determines for me what is beautiful. I embrace my identity as His daughter and His bride. I embrace my femininity. God sees me as a precious pearl; a virtuous woman whose beauty outshines the stars. I belong to Him. He values me. My value is not determined by my physical appearance. It's not determined by what I say or do. It's not determined by my character. My value does not fluctuate. It doesn't rise and fall with my weight, my mood or my dedication to my Savior. My value does not change when I make a mistake, or when I do something good. It does not come from within me. My value comes from God.

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit,
who is in you, whom you have received from God?

You are not your own; you were bought at a price.

Therefore honor God with your bodies.

1 Corinthians 6:19,20

I had to question whether I had become ensnared by the lies that tell me my worth changes like the wind blows. If my motivation to lose weight is to make myself feel more valuable, my motivation is all screwed up, because I can't do anything to change my value. So my hope is that my reasons for losing weight remain true to the fact that I have been given this temporary temple, and that I need to take good care of it because it does not belong to me.

So, here's to better temple building on the beautiful foundation He has laid. :)

Interview with Grace

My sister sent me this fun interview questionaire to ask Grace. The questions are all about me and the answers have to be recorded word for word. It was a hoot. Try it with your kiddos. Here's how ours went:

1. What is something mom always says to you?

Clean my room or I love you. Non-stop.

2. What makes mom happy?

Gift cards.

3. What makes mom sad?

Are you ever sad? I’ve never seen you sad. Have I?

4. How does your mom make you laugh?

Your face. (followed by several minutes of hysterical laughter)

5. What was your mom like as a child?

Oh my gosh! Um… you’ve never told me. OH! You liked that acting stuff. You did plays with Chris and stuff. You did that all the time. And you used to dress up so much. That’s it.

6. How old is your mom?

35

7. How tall is your mom?

Oh my… umm… guess… uhh… 5’11”? (I'm 5'7")

8.What is her favorite thing to do?

Oh gosh. (long silence) I think designing things or like hanging out with friends or something. I don’t know.

9. What does your mom do when you're not around?

Watch movies. I don’t know what you do. I’m not around.

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?

World’s best mother. I’m your best child. Did you record that?

11. What is your mom really good at?

Writing. And graphic designing. And being the world’s best mom.

12. What is your mom not very good at?

Math. And being the world’s worst mom. Oh, and grammar. You say words that aren’t words.

13. What does your mom do for her job?

Uh, are they seriously asking me that? You’re a graphic designer at [the place I work]. I know every detail about that. I know your boss. I know your boss’ assistant. I know what you have to design. I know what you want to design.

14. What's your mom's favorite food?

Uh, duh. Chips and salsa. The Mexican people are great.

15. What makes you proud of your mom?

That’s a hard question. I mean, it’s worded wrong or something. What am I proud of that relates to you? You buy me stuff. Like notebooks and markers.

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?

Oh, weird. Hmm. Like that’s already invented? Okay. Minnie. Like, the mouse. Because she’s cute and she wears a lot of hair accessories.

17. What do you and your mom do together?

Mommy-daughter day. And watch movies. It’s called “Girls Only Movie Theatre.” Did you know that?

18. How are you and your mom the same?

Wow! We both can exaggerate very well. And we like to read. And we like to write. And we both like animals, right? You like animals, right? And we both are females.

19. How are you and your mom different?

You’re a brunette, I’m a blonde. You like square-collared, I like circle-collared. You have a finace. You get to have French maincures and I don’t. You have to pay money and taxes and I don’t. You get more sugar than I do. Boo-hoo! I want a French manicure.

20. How do you know your mom loves you?

You say it practically a million times a day. You make time for just me when you don’t hang out with Brad. Oh, I was at Granny’s and I had water in my mouth and she was doing something with this jacket and I took a big sip of water and I was like “mmm-mmm” and she said “Me.” and I was like “You can understand me?” and she was like “Yeah…” and I was like “You’re amazing!” and she was like “I raised three daughters.”

21. Where is your mom's favorite place to go?

You want to go to Ireland and I don’t know your favorite place to go that you have been but I was thinking like Lubbock or something. I know you want to go to Dublin, Ireland. Can I sleep with you tonight? When I was at Granny's, PaPa watched CSI and I didn't watch it, but I accidentally saw one part and the guy was dead and he was green and moldy and I'm scared, so can I sleep with you? Oh, and you like Sea World.

This bites.

Confession: I'm a biter.

A biter of fingernails. But, not just any body's. I only bite mine.

I have since my nervous, awkward childhood.

I wish I could stop, but cross-my-heart-hope-to-die, I don't even know when I'm doing it. According to Freud, this is a sign that I am seriously emotionally and psychologically disturbed and my "oral fixation" stems from a need to fulfill a constant "hunger" caused by a lack of "life-nourishment." Huh? Considering the source, I'm not too worried about said fingernail-psychosis. After all, we are talking about the same guy who insisted that being in love with his mother was normal. Personally, I think I bite because in second grade the lunch lady always had gunk trapped under her long nails and it made me want to hurl my Sloppy Joe. Still does. So my subconscious seven-year-old mind figured in order to prevent gunk nail, I'd kept 'em short and gunk-free. Or, maybe I'm just psychotic. Regardless...

I look at other women's feminine hands and get flat-out jealous. It's especially unfortunate that I adore trips to the salon. I have very low mani-potential. I've been chewed out by more nail techs than I care to remember. According to them, it's the reason I don't have a husband. "Why you bite? Man like long nail."

Consequently, I've never worn rings. I don't want attention drawn to my hands. So now that I'm wearing the most beautiful ring on the planet my chewed-up fingertips are all-too-frequently observed. I've tried several techniques to avoid revealing the unseemly things to folks who want to take a look-see at my bling-bling:

Technique One - The Fist: When someone asks to see my ring, I quickly ball my hand up into a fist, making sure all nails are folded in and out of sight, being extra careful to tuck my thumb inside the fist-ball so that it's atrocious nail is also unrevealed. The problem with the fist technique is that when I then raise my hand to show my ring, the unsuspecting viewer ducks and covers for fear of being sucker punched.

Technique Two - The Palm: This is by far the trickiest technique to pull off smoothly. When someone asks to see my ring, with my right hand I quickly spin my ring around backwards on my finger so that the diamond is underneath. I then flip my hand over, palm-upward-chewed-mess-downward, causing the diamond to be visible for viewing and then extend my hand to the viewer. There are two problems with the palm technique. The viewer is either: confused into thinking that I'm asking her to place something in my open hand, and unless she has some extra cash handy, this makes for an awkward situation. Or she mistakes my ridiculously uncoolness as actual coolness, low-fives me, cuts her palm open on my exposed diamond, has to be rushed to the nearest urgent care center for stitches, and sends me the bill. There is potential to win big or lose big with this technique, making it an attractive option for the risk-taker in me.

Technique Three - The Flash: It's simple, really. When someone asks to see it I flash my ring in front of their face for 0.85 seconds, then before my nails have a chance to be observed, I quickly stick my hand in my pocket. If no pocket is available other nearby objects can be used to hide my hand, such as a house plant or a casserole. The problem: This technique really ticks people off. Especially if you're at their place for dinner.

Technique Four - The Claw: The claw is by far my most used technique. I've convinced myself that it is the most natural-looking of the techniques, and therefore provides the least-awkward viewing environment for all involved. When asked to see my ring, the claw works by simply curling my fingers inward into "claw hand" position so that my nails are out of view. Careful to keep this hand position, I then slowly raise my hand toward the viewer so they can observe my ring. This technique can also be referred to as "The Knuckle" or "The Nub." The problem with this technique is that the zombie-like-unnatural hand position and movement cause an extremely awkward viewing environment for all involved.

Needless to say, these techniques are not working and something needs to change.

I want to quit biting.

I did once. Cold-turkey for a whole month. I remember it was around Christmas because I had enough nail length to slice the tape on packages; obviously a memorable first. I was proud of my new, feminine hands and even kept *gasp* bright red polish on my nails. The attention was almost too much to handle. You can't take life-long wallflower hands and throw them into the spotlight like that without consequence. I had to quit the red and opt for a more stable, yet still enchanting, pearlescent pink.

But alas! My pageantry was short- (pun intended) lived. The LOST season four premiere was a real nail-biter. I've been off the wagon ever since.

Any advice? I want pretty nails in my wedding photos and HATE wearing fake nails. I recently tried to do that again and couldn't take it. I don't want anything long and crazy that I can paint a landscape on. (Seriously. They do this at my salon. Mountains. Pine trees. Lakes. Grizzly bears feasting on salmon.) If I could grow two millimeters of length I would be overjoyed. My ears (err... eyes) are yours. Tell me how.

Getting Away with Murder

I was sitting at the kitchen table working a few minutes ago when a crumpled up piece of paper came flying over my shoulder and landed *smack* on my laptop in front of me. I turned around and saw a Grace-blur running away and back upstairs where she was supposed to be doing her homework.

I opened the note. It was her homework list for this evening...

and a message to me.

What a shame. Guess I don't need to look into those drama classes she wanted to take this summer after all. It's just as well. I'm sure I'll be very busy trying to figure out how to press charges against her homework.

Won't stop thinkin' about tomorrow...

I can't remember who said it, my sister or my daughter, but one of them told me my mom was going to disown me if I didn't update my blog soon. I kind of like being her daughter, so...

Here's what's going on in our corner of the world these days:

Planning a wedding in less than four months is beyond challenging. Still, I know God had this day planned long before Brad and I did, because everything is continuing to fall right into place and work out beautifully. I'm going to have the wedding I've dreamed of since I was a girl. But, I am tired, and it will be a nice feeling to lay in bed at night and not think about what I have to plan the next day, and the day after that, and after that, yada yada.

Just when I think I'm bent almost to the breaking point, I experience things like what I'm about to tell you, and I'm rejuvenated and the energy required to get it all done is there in abundance. The other night Brad and I were sitting in the living room talking about the music and the vows and the dance and he said something to me that put it all into big-picture-perspective. He said, "Steph, do you know what I want for you on our wedding day? That morning, I want you to be completely relaxed and rested. I want the stress of the planning to be gone. I want you to enjoy each and every second from start to finish. I want you to look in the mirror and see every thing about yourself and say, 'I'm beautiful.' I want you to feel every ounce of love I have for you. I want you to have fun and not worry about Grace every second and what she's doing and how she's behaving, but just let her be Grace and know that it's okay and just love on her. I want you to walk down the aisle knowing that God is smiling down on us and has blessed each step that led us here. I want you to remember it forever as one of the best days of your life. That's what I want for you, and I will do anything I can to make that happen for you."

I fell in love with him all over again. I mean, who wouldn't?!

So, yeah, that's kind of a personal story to share on my blog, but I am marrying the most amazing man I've ever known and I want the whole world (or at least the part of it that reads this blog) to know it.

Grace is getting so excited. She loves him so much and is thrilled that he's the one God chose to be her dad. They're really bonding lately, and something inside of me is moved and swells up watching their relationship deepen right before my eyes. There is no greater joy than to experience this happiness with her.

Speaking of her happiness, she informed me today that her science fair project, entitled Are Fingerprints Hereditary? won second place! The honest truth is we were both dreading having to complete the project. I knew she wasn't into it and the thought of having to push her every step of the way was dreadful. But, once we got started and I saw her ideas come to life it was a fun time together. She did great and I'm super proud.

We all went to the Brad Paisley concert last week and it was so much fun. What an entertainer! It was Grace's first big concert and her little cowboy hat was bobbing from open to close. The "Paisley Party" included openers Darius Ruker (former Hootie front man) and Dierks Bentley. Grace bogarted Brad's binoculars during Dierk's set and now wants a poster of him in her room. *sigh* "Mommy, he's sooo cute!" I think I was about her age when I got my Michael J. Fox poster. I used to kiss it every night before bed. I'm not kidding you when I say that I HONESTLY believed I would grow up and marry him. For years I believed that, and then River Phoenix came along, and then Patrick Swayze, then Bono...

I've been trying to lose a bit of that weight I tried to lose a few months ago. I found a new eating plan and have cut out sugar, salt, processed foods, etc. I eat baked or broiled meat, raw, steamed or boiled veggies, fresh fruit and drink tons of water. So far I've lost 13 pounds in two weeks. I feel great and am completely motivated to keep going. That being said, I'm gonna enjoy every meal I eat on my honeymoon and not worry about a single calorie that week. I'll have deserved it by then. :)

I guess there's a ton more I could write about and I'm sure this was pretty boring reading, but I had to write something so that I could keep my mother. ;)

Oh, I will say this final thing. My Christmas tree is still up. STILL. I can not find the time to take it down and get everything put away. My bed has not been made in a month. I have a ton of laundry to do and desperately need to grocery shop. I haven't shaved my legs in over a week. Two of my house plants died of thirst. I need to call my best friend and have dinner with her and I've got to quit cancelling my dentist appointments. I write that for this reason. I'm trying to get over this ridiculous preoccupation with appearing like I've got it all together. I don't. I'm not perfect. I can't whitewash the truth, and it feels good to say how it is and be okay with it. I'm seriously flawed. I'm learning to not be so hard on me, to accept me, and to chill out. If you've read this far, you are awesome and I'm honored that what I write captures your interest even to this sentence. Thank you.

Until next time...