I'm Lucky To Have Even Know Him - I have a friend who means a lot to me. There's nothing sexual at all about the relationship. We just connect.
We're able to share things with each other that I doubt either of us
could truly share with anyone else. He is kind, generous and thoughtful - in short he is awesome. Oh, and he's really tall. He comes in and out of my life. Sometimes he's around for months, sometimes for weeks, sometimes for days. Then he's not. I won't lie. It's always a bit sad when we lose contact. Each time I'm left to wonder if maybe I won't hear from him again. Right now, it's one of those separate times. But you know, as much as I hope I hope he returns, for the first time I truly realize I've been lucky just to know him. I want him back very much. But if it doesn't happen, I'll still feel very fortunate and blessed.
What I Really Want to Say to My Young LDS Friends - Don't do it. Don't deny who you are to conform to a religious tradition simply because that's the way you were raised. I know I'm supposed to be supportive. I'm supposed to say that if you chooses to live a celibate life, or strive for a heterosexual marriage, I will support you. But in my heart I can't. Because I've wasted so much of my life, suffered so many consequences and caused so much harm by denying who I really was. All those years spent believing that I had some form of "cancer" that had to be overcome, endured, suffered. It is soul destroying. I've read so many of your blogs over last five years that I've come to care about you. Please, I'm begging you, be who you are. Find love. Accept your sexuality as a healthy part of the whole you. Don't make the mistakes I made.
Grandmothers are the Very Bestest - I have breakfast with Grandma in the morning. She is nearing 97. She lives by herself, in the home she built more than 60 years ago - the home my mother was raised in. Granny is blind as a bat and deaf as a post, but her mind is all there and aside from taking my arm to steady herself, she walks just fine. I love her. And, she is one of the main reasons I remain alive. My mother passed away more than ten years ago, and my grandmother is still sad. It would break her heart if I passed before she did. But, in truth, once she is gone, a huge anchor that keeps me in this world will be gone too.
Hair - I'm learning that every passing year brings an ever growing abundance of hair in undesirable places. Ears and nose. I feel like Earl from Pickles. I'm not sure how Opal can stand it. Funny thing is, when I was a kid, I was excited to reach puberty because it meant I was growing up. Oh, if I only knew what that would eventually lead to.
