these will be the last 2 weeks of amsterdam. it's hard to explain to someone who hasn't had similar experiences what amsterdam means to me. as old as i am, i feel like amsterdam was where i grew up, where i really lived, where i discovered my weaknesses, and where i found my voice (cliched but, without a doubt, true). i've never really cared for the schools i've been to, nor appreciated the people around me, but being in amfi, really gave me a new found sense of pride, along with a small but amazing group of friends and teachers who were willing to help me unconditionally, not to mention, extremely inspiring to be around. i love amsterdam; it's my amsterdam.
i'm not leaving it because the job hunt in europe sucks or because i'm done with the struggling (though i am, in a way) and most definitely not because i prefer a comfortable life at home. i'm leaving it because i've found a new opportunity that has given me the same amount of hope and enthusiasm as i had when i first moved to amsterdam. that's the kind of feeling i've been searching for. it could be misplaced, arisen out of my current circumstances, and i'm definitely nervous about it, about giving up the "what-could-be(s)"of my europe dream, and all the uncertain, 'no guarantees' at the end of the next 6 months. but i'll take that chance. i'll take it. i want and have to keep believing in my vision. i want to keep progressing not just a designer, but also as a person.
