i've always been by myself, and i really couldn't care much for social activities.  especially at this age, when i'm just about done trying to strike pointless conversations with someone i couldn't give a shit about (vice versa). but sometimes that dreadful self-reliance turns into feelings of loneliness combined with fatigue when you realize that there aren't a lot (in fact, almost none) of friends whom you can turn to or talk to. the nicest part about being with someone is that sense of intimate connection to another living being -  you are human, you are warm and desiring, and another person shares that with you.