it is the 1st of december. her death anniversary is coming. the eve of new year's eve, i remember that precise moment, when his father called and our conversation broke off into a sudden sob and total silence. i've never really known what to say to him about this, or how to even begin. i always tell him that i'll be there for him, but i never really knew how to be there for him. i tried my best to empathize but i could only, like a useless witness, watch him fall apart inside.