my sis gave birth to the most adorable and beautiful baby boy last tues! just skyped with my mum who was carrying the tiny precious and saying 'U SEE? U SEE? CAN SEE OR NOT?"

Emotional design

today's class with peter was really therapeutic. he said, 'you guys are all so fucking boring' - which is so true when you compare our era with the 90s and 80s (and so on). nothing is 'new' anymore. maybe its the rise of the internet which allows everyone to access all sorts of information so that the need for any progressive and revolutionary ideas come to a halt.

for this next project, we have to use a personal story/inspiration as a starting point to develop our own identity and vision as a designer. friends started pouring out stories about families, losses, depressions etc. i've always felt that a design should be seen separate from the designer; that there should be a detachment in order for one to appreciate the product as it is. but today's class gave me a new perspective about the emotional aspect of design - which in turn tells you something about your life. when i started thinking about my own designs and things i've done thus far, things sort of made more sense. this fascination with random everyday stuff, the prosaic series, this love for subtle details and a focus on fluid, flowing, connecting lines and forms, like a paranoid's imagination of the world, perhaps they're a way for me to get my own grip on 'reality'. i can deal with these small, concrete elements. i can construct my own tangible world where i feel confident enough to move forward. intersecting, multiplying, endless whispers. (maybe today this means something and tomorrow nothing, but we'll think about that then)

peter also asked simple questions which triggered your thoughts about fashion. for example, is the scandinavian raw, cold, minimalistic approach still relevant today (seeing how there is a movement towards authenticity and heritage)? etc. how do you, and how can you, position yourself as a designer? it's more than just about creating clothing, but putting yourself, your personal statement, into design.

enlightenment! i apologize for the recent outbursts of optimism. hee.

one of the best things about my studies is that i am constantly amazed by 1)my surroundings 2)works of other designers. there is so much to learn and discover; and that surge of creative energy that fills your mind and heart, it is boundless, continuous and moving.

Textured fashion

The exhibition 'Fashion in Movement' didn't seem all that exciting at first glance. In general, the garments made me think, 'wtf? I don't understand what any of these mean'. What I found more interesting then a mere reinterpretation of fashion history, were the textures of each garment. Felted wool, delicately woven threads, subtle color gradation, once I started looking closer at each piece, it was really hard to get away from the amount of details and possibilities that arise. I needed that burst of inspiration.

Trail

Lately I've read too many discussions about Singapore and its lack of an authentic culture. What defines authenticity anyway? Dutch clogs and windmills? Too often do we romanticize the fragile webs between people with a flurry of fantasies. Things change all the time, regardless of foreign policies and the increase in the number of immigrants. Ideas, values, beliefs, languages get mixed, blended and filtered. You have a mainstream culture and you have several sub-cultures, all of which differ slightly for each individual. There never was a fixed, stable 'Culture' in the first place, but it doesn't necessarily mean it is a bad thing. Do we still live in an age where we believe that we can make clear distinctions over what is truly 'Singaporean' and what isn't?

Today I walked down the market and was immediately lost in a crowd of pullovers and windbreakers, a woman with ginger red hair, Asobi Seksu singing "there's no reason why you should look at me sadly when I cry for you", the wind tracing leaves across a velvet grey, a man smoking a cigarette, deep in thought, stalls selling vegetables, chocolates and clothes made in China, made in Turkey, made in Italy. I am on a trail to nowhere and everywhere. It is a global world, one of interconnectivity, one of complete isolation, one which floats by my eyes. I can't grasp hold of it; no country, no community, no roots.

At the heart of things, I am afraid I am going to walk through life with absolutely no understanding of it. I feel so far and distant from reality, from people, and that even if someone should hold me down to the ground and press my cheeks against the soil, I still wouldn't be able to know, feel or sense. This lack of comprehension, this futility, terrifies me yet it seems like the only thing I can be certain of for now.