so tired i feel like vomiting -

Marlene Dumas

I paint because I am a woman.
(It's a logical necessity.)
If painting is female and insanity is a female malady,
then all women painters are mad and all male painters are women.
I paint because I am an artificial blonde woman.
(Brunettes have no excuse.)
If all good painting is about color
then bad painting is about having the wrong color.
But bad things can be good excuses.
As Sharon Stone said, "Being blonde is a great excuse.
When you're having a bad day you can say, I can't help it,
I'm just feeling very blonde today."

I paint because I am a country girl.
(Clever, talented big-city girls don't paint.)
I grew up on a wine farm in Southern Africa.
When I was a child I drew bikini girls for male guests on the back of their cigarette packs.
Now I am a mother and I live in another place that
reminds me a lot of a farm - Amsterdam.
(It's a good place for painters.)
Come to think about it, I'm still busy with those types of images and imagination.
I paint because I am a religious woman.
(I believe in eternity.)
Painting doesn't freeze time.
It circulates and recycles time like a wheel that turns.
Those who were first might well be last.
Painting is a very slow art.
It doesn't travel with the speed of light.
That's why dead painters shine so bright.
It's okay to be the second sex.
It's okay to be second best.
Painting is not a progressive activity.
[...]

-marlene dumas-

Queen's Day 2010

queen's day in amsterdam was crazy!!! no other way to describe it. the dutch are usually mild, peaceful, and ordinary people. but on this very day, the country is suddenly kicking alive and orange. the party starts from the night before all the way through to the day after. everyone comes out on the street and you gotta have a bottle in your hand. queen's day comprised of me getting drunk by 7pm the night before, a lot of dancing to bad music and pouring rain on the streets, some naked fellas shaking it up on top of a fridge (i can't explain why a fridge should be in the middle of the streets), a lot of public urinals and peeing drunkards (penis alert!), street sales, free live music, pushing crowds etc etc etc