In the mood

One of my favorite seasons is autumn. I love when the hot summer weather starts to turn cool at night so you have to reach for your favorite sweatshirt.

Football season is about to start and thoughts of chili and beer are floating around in my head.

I also love when autumn gives way to the first frost. It means Thanksgiving and Christmas are right around the corner! My favorite two holidays.

I've been thinking about these 2 holidays quite a bit lately. I'm sure it's because the twins are due between Halloween and Thanksgiving.

But, mostly, it's because they will be here for Christmas.

Christmas has always been a big event in my family. I can remember watching cartoon classics like Frosty the Snowman and 'Twas the Night Before Christmas and my grandfather teasing us that 'Ole Fat Stuff was coming down the chimney tonight. I can remember going to bed but not being able to sleep because of the butterflies in my stomach. As I got older, I remember my mom, dad and grandparents staying up until the wee hours of the morning attempting to put together toys for my little sister so it would look like Santa came. I can remember making my dad and grandfather eat the cookies and milk left for Santa's reindeer. It was always special. Every year.

Ever since we started trying to get pregnant, I've always dreamt of sharing all of the traditions and magic with my own family. My own children. After years of disappointment, I started to realize it might not happen. Ever.

I feel so blessed the twins will be here for their first Christmas this year. They won't be old enough to understand but it's still special. Just the thought of sitting with them beside the fire and Christmas tree makes me cry. Damn pregnancy hormones... I'm doing it now.

This was taken last year:

I started searching for Christmas outfits a few weeks ago.  This year, we'll have our first family photo.  This year will be OUR year to send those cute cards that used to make me gag.  This year will be OUR year to show off our beautiful children.

My heart still aches for those who haven't beaten IF.  I am so painfully aware that our road could've taken a different turn and we'd be facing another holiday season childless. I wish I knew why some of us are able to cross over to the "other side" while others are still subjected to the pain and hurt.  It's not fair.  It's just not fair.

I hope everyone can find some peace as the holidays approach.

Single Digits!

We met with our perinatalogist this morning. Everything is the same - which is good.

Cervix - long and closed
Placenta previa - no change (it would've been better if it had moved but at least I haven't had any bleeding)

The doctor said they give the placenta until 36 weeks to correct itself and then we "throw in the towel" and schedule the c-section. I asked if it was still likely that it could move and he said it was. As long as my cervix stays put, we're OK.

The babies looked good but they are BIG! They weighed exactly the same at 2.13 lbs. They are weighing 2 weeks ahead and according to their leg bone measurements, they are also tall.

Todd is already adding up the college scholarships!

We do have big babies on both sides of our family. OK - there hasn't been a baby under 8 lbs EVER.

But, the doctor thinks the diabetes is probably playing a role in that as well. We'll find out on Monday.

Now that the doctor has thrown out the 36-week mark, I'm saying that I have NINE WEEKS TO GO! We're officially in single digits.

This week has been productive and I am glad that we ended up staying home. I started washing some of the clothes and blankets to get a head start on that. We also purchased almost everything that was left on our registry. Todd has been busy preparing the basement by cleaning out and adding extra storage.

We are fully expecting to buy formula and diapers by the truck load!

All in all, I'm feeling OK. Even though it's only been 3 days, I think the iron supplements are helping with the fatigue I was feeling. I'm still worried about the diabetes but if I have it, I'll deal with it. It's just temporary, right?

Even though today's appointment was fairly uneventful, I was thankful. I'm starting to lose track of everything that is "wrong" with me: underactive thyroid, placenta previa, anemia, potential diabetes.

Good God, did I turn 85 over night?

I spoke too soon.....

Guess who just called?

Looks like I failed my 1-hour glucose screen. I go in for a 3-hour screen on Monday.

She also said my iron is low so I have to start taking a daily supplement.

Crap.

Staycation

Starting yesterday, Todd & I are officially on vacation. But, since my perinatalogist advised me not to travel more than an hour from the hospital, we're spending the week at home.

I seriously debated whether I wanted to follow his advice - I mean, really? What would happen? But, when I looked at the website of the only hospital in the area, they did NOT have a NICU and that sealed the deal for me. Why take the chance?

Would I rather be at the beach? Absolutely! But, there is a part of me that is glad we stayed home. We were supposed to go with Todd's family again and while I would be looking for peace & quiet, I think it would've been impossible to find with 5 other adults and 5 children.

So, we have a list of things to do around the house and we're tackling our list day by day.

I'll be 27 weeks tomorrow - one more week until that all important 28 weeks! The goal we all strive for.

I'm still feeling fine. The babies are moving like crazy now. When they both get going, it looks like a scene from Alien.

Or, like they are riding a roller coaster in my stomach. Yee-haw!

Still no symptoms from the previa - thank god. My next appointment is Thursday and I'm really hoping it has moved off my cervix.

I had my diabetes screening last Friday and they said they would call if the results were abnormal. I'm assuming if I don't hear from them by today, that everything is fine.

Me, 1. Diabetes, 0. Score!

4D Ultrasound - Meet Our Babies!

We decided to splurge and have a 4D ultrasound done this morning.

We arrived at 10:00 am and they took us back to the u/s room. It was seriously one of the nicest ones I've ever been in. I got to lay on an elevated twin bed and they had room for up to 8 family members. The front of the room contained a sectional sofa, a bench and a 100-inch screen to view the images.

They also had something called "Sonostream". For anyone who wanted to view from home, they just logged onto their site and they could see everything we were seeing on the monitor.

We paid for a 30-minute session and it was a good thing because the babies weren't cooperating at first. Kendall kept facing my back and Christopher kept burying his face or hiding behind his arms.

I also quickly learned that it's already tight quarters in there. Christopher's butt was constantly in Kendall's face. At one point, she got fed up and stretched her legs out as far as they could go, pushing Christopher away and down. There's definitely some turf wars going on in there.

I wouldn't recommend doing longer than 30-minutes because I was ready for it for be over when it was. The u/s tech was very good but he was determined to get some good shots so he kept poking and pushing on my belly to get them to move out of their positions. The babies didn't seem to care but I sure was.

I'm really glad we decided to do it. It cost $250 and we got images of both babies. It included a CD with all of the images and a DVD video. We also caught some really cool things like Christopher yawning and Kendall smiling (picture below).

So, without further adieu, meet Christopher and Kendall.

Christopher




Kendall

Baby Shower & Nursery Pics

I

am

exhausted.

I had my baby shower with my friends and family today. I can't even explain the amount of stuff we got. It's unbelievable.







My sister and mom did an awesome job with the shower. The room wasn't nearly as bad as what I thought once they got tablecloths and flowers in there. Everything turned out perfect.

While I was at my shower, Todd was on a special mission. His 2 brothers and my SILs surprised us with the dresser/changing table combo. So, when I got home from the shower, it was already in the nursery.

And, Todd was a good husband and put together the cribs. So, the nursery is about 90% complete. Here's a few pics:













I still have to put another hanging rod in the closet, hang the window shade and I want to paint some artwork for above the cribs. And, we still need to buy a few things like the changing pad.

I might also have another surprise to share with you tomorrow afternoon so you'll have to check back! :)

25 Weeks & Belly Pic

How far along? 25 Weeks
Total weight gain/loss: 20 lbs
Maternity clothes? Yes
Sleep: Sporadic. I wake up every 2-3 hours and have to change positions. It's getting harder and harder to get myself moved around.
Best moment this week: No symptoms from the previa
Movement: Yes! I've noticed they both like to curl up into little balls so it makes my stomach all lopsided.
Food cravings: Cereal, ice cream, spaghetti
Gender: A boy and girl!
Labor Signs: No, thank God.
Belly Button in or out? It's still in
What I miss: Sleeping on my stomach.
What I am looking forward to: Finishing the nursery
Weekly Wisdom: Don't push myself - it'll get done when it gets done.
Milestones: Every day closer to 37 weeks is a milestone.

And, the much awaited belly pic. I thought it would be fun to do a collage.

A history of my belly (and weight gain), if you will:

My Perspective On Pregnancy

I just had to share that. I'm lying in bed and all I can see is belly and cankles.
It's 25-week eve and I'm really to starting to feel the physical aspects of carrying twins.

The fatique that I experienced in the first trimester is back. It's all I can do to walk down the hall at work and even then, I arrive at my destination huffing and puffing. Stairs?! Forget about it!

I wake up with puffy ankles and as the day goes on, my ankles slowly disappear. I look like I have 2 loaves of bread attached to my legs. So sexy.

And, starting this week, I've had some slight swelling in my hands. I can't wear both my engagement ring and wedding band so I had to choose the more important wedding band. At least I'm still married and it doesn't look like I just got knocked up by my boyfriend.

I've also noticed some absent-mindedness. I'm usually pretty sharp and I found myself driving to a shopping center that did not house the store I needed. I got half-way there and asked, "Where the hell am I going"?

Don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining. I've had a very easy pregnancy and I'm so thankful for that. Still no signs of anything going on with the previa - knock on wood. To be safe, I told my boss that working will most likely be on an appointment by appointment basis from here on out. I threw out mid-September as a possibility for bed rest but who knows?

Both babies are pushing 2 lbs each and I can't believe I have 4 lbs of baby in there! According to Babycenter.com, that's equivalent to 32-33 weeks with a singleton. I've noticed they have shifted upward and I think Kendall is the one jabbing me in the stomach these days. Christopher seems to enjoy playing soccer with my bladder.

I have to pee.
I don't have to pee.
I have to pee.
I don't have to pee.

I'll try to post a belly pic tomorrow.

Schedule Smedule

Man, what a weekend.

Thursday was just a horrible day between my doctor's appointment and putting Kobe to sleep. I'm glad we both decided to take Friday off. I can honestly say it was a "mental health" day.

Saturday, we put things into high-gear with nursery prep. We're still no where close to where I'd like to be and we waivered from my schedule weeks ago. My goal was to have the nursery set up and ready to load in time for my shower next weekend.

Ha!

Todd and his brother worked on cleaning out the unfinished portion of our basement. Got rid of an old loveseat, a chain link kennel and some other old crap that was sitting down there for years. Why does that happen? I looked at some of the stuff and asked myself, "Why did we feel the need to keep that"? By cleaning it out, we now have more storage space so that's a plus.

While they were doing heavy man-things, I was assembling and installing the closet organizer. It was fairly easy work and most of it was done sitting on the floor. I figured I could work a screwdriver from anywhere.

Speaking of, that damn closet organizer was easy but also extremely frustrating. I'm fairly handy and pre-pregnancy, I would've had that sucker put together in hours. But now? It took me 15 minutes to screw something together because I couldn't maneuver myself close enough to see the screw. And in between? I'm huffing and puffing like I just ran a marathon. All of that while just sitting on the floor!

I was hoping to get the cribs assembled this weekend but the hours just went by too fast. I did manage to steam clean the carpet this morning and we moved the rocker/ottoman into the nursery so I can officially say there's furniture in there!

This afternoon, my sister and I did some shower shopping. Just little things like table cloths, gifts, etc.

For my shower, I decided to rent one of the meeting rooms from my homeowners association. I thought it would be easier to hold it in a neutral spot so no one would have to fuss over cleaning and hosting it at their house. It cost an arm and a leg between all of the deposits. We stopped and looked at it today and it's pretty crappy. It's attached to the pool house. So, you walk in like you're checking into the pool and hang a left through a door. It's one big classroom with cinder block walls. There is a big glass sliding door that can let sunshine in but there's one problem.

The community pool is RIGHT there. Can you imagine? Right in the middle of my baby shower, someone who has NO BUSINESS wearing a bathing suit sits right in front of the window?

Hel-lo!

The website also boasted a kitchen facility so I thought, "Great! We can heat up food and not have to worry about transporting".

The kitchen facility is the snack bar complete with a sink and microwave. And, since my shower is smack-dab in the middle of a Saturday, I'm sure it'll be convenient to use it when 5 year-olds are ordering hot dogs and nachos.

But, it's reserved and we'll have to make it work. We bought table cloths and my mom/Todd's mom will bring flowers and balloons.

It's just for 3 hours and I'm sure no one else will care.

RIP Kobe

My husband put Kobe down tonight. Kobe wouldn't stop pacing around the house and had excessive panting. We watched him for about an hour and then Todd said he was taking him in. It was obvious that he was in discomfort and something was going on.

I guess he didn't even ask the doctor to evaluate Kobe. We knew his problem(s) weren't going to get any better and it was time. He was still leaking urine after we increased his medicine and he fell down the stairs a few times.

I haven't said much to Todd about putting him down since I posted about it a few weeks ago so this was purely his decision. As I mentioned before, I've felt like it was time for quite awhile but it's still upsetting - we purchased Kobe together and took care of him for the last 11 years.

I'm sad and relieved at the same time. He wasn't the same dog and I think he was uncomfortable. I'm relieved that he's not suffering and we don't have to worry about that anymore.

Dr's Appt - Good and Bad News

I saw my peri this morning. The ultrasound went fine - both babies are about 1 week ahead, weight-wise. Christopher weighs 1 lb 11 oz and Kendall is 1 lb 12 oz. They both looked good.

Then, the doctor came in and took a look for himself.

He was focusing on my cervix and said, "Your cervix looks good - it's very long and closed". And then he looked at the u/s tech and said, "Can you tell what that is"?

He decided to do a transvaginal ultrasound and finally said, "I think you have a placenta previa but I can't tell what this other bulge is".

He ended up putting the speculum in and found vericose veins on my cervix, which I guess was the unusual bulge he was seeing. He didn't seem concerned about it after he identified it.

So, his official diagnosis is that Christopher's placenta is completely covering my cervix and I'm scared to death. The doctor said he thinks it's been there the whole time and they just didn't catch it at my 20-week u/s.

I haven't been put on bedrest (yet) but I am on "pelvic rest" - meaning no intercourse (like that was happening anyway) and no pelvic exams. I also need to restrict my activity and no heavy lifting.

I don't really know much about placenta previa and to be honest, it never even crossed my mind. I was so concerned about an incompetent cervix. Just from quickly searching on the web, I'm at risk for heavy (possibly life-threatening) bleeding during and after delivery and I'm pretty much assured that I will have a c-section.

If I notice any bleeding, I need to go to the hospital right away. If the bleeding doesn't stop, they'll deliver the babies no matter what age they are.

I asked if there was a chance that it could move up as my uterus expands and he acted like it was a slim possibility. Since it's completely covering my cervix, even if it moved, I don't think it would clear completely.

I also have to cancel our vacation - the doctor doesn't want me to be that far from home. Especially since we don't know their facilities and whether they can handle premature babies. I'll probably still take that week off and just stay home. Self-induced bed rest.

I feel so helpless. I know this isn't because of anything I did and I knew I'd have to be prepared for some complications. But, it doesn't take the fear away. I can't imagine losing the babies - not now.

I just have to keep praying that my cervix stays strong and doesn't start to dilate too early. And, that the previa doesn't start bleeding.

Surprise!

Why do Mondays have to be so sucky? I mean, seriously? Who's bright idea was it to make the work week 5 days with only 2 off? I want a recount!

I haven't been that busy at work so I was actually excited that I had a meeting scheduled for today.

Uh, yeah. There was no meeting.

I walked down to the conference room with my boss and he knocked and opened the door. I saw people sitting in there and my first thought was that someone double booked the room and we just walked in on someone else's meeting.

And, then I heard, "SURPRISE!".

Huh?

It was a surprise baby shower for me!

They totally got me. I was so clueless!!

I know I turned an unnatural shade of red. I blush at the drop of a pin.

I knew a shower would be coming because they do one for everyone but I definitely didn't expect one this early. I guess they figured I'm a ticking time bomb and could go off at any minute?

I must say I am a little disappointed in my observation skills. The lady who collected the money literally sits 5 feet from me and I never saw a thing.

What kind of mother am I going to be? My kids are going to be running rampant and I'll be sitting there completely oblivious. La la la!

So, I make my way to the front of the room (in front of about 20 people) and I just remember thinking, "This is so awkward". Everyone just stares at you.



Should I dance? Tell a joke? Go right for the gifts?

I think I actually said, "This is so awkward" and people chuckled. So, I made everyone grab some cake before I opened presents.

That way, they'd be more focused on eating and less on staring.

Everyone was very generous. Most donated money to a gift card to Babies R Us.

$290!!!

And, another guy gave me another gift card for $50. And, then I got some smaller stuff off my registry like the mattress pads, receiving blankets and bottles.

My sister works in the same office and she purchased the cutest blankets that are embroidered with Kendall and Christopher's names.

Which takes me to another topic. Is anyone else stalking their baby registry?!

My friends/family baby shower is in 2 weeks so I've been watching the registry to see what has been purchased. And then I try to guess who bought it.

Most of what has been purchased was given to me today. Which means there haven't been any purchases for my other baby shower.

What are these people waiting for?! I need to be nosey!

There is a purpose to my madness. We have quite a few higher-priced items on there and I'm really just trying to plan what we might need to purchase. Obviously with twins, the cost is much greater so we need to budget and plan now.

OK. And, it's fun to see what's been purchased.