1 down , 5 to go. i wont post anymore things about stagmont camp after this. lucky wey zi is around, so we usually talk at night together. he smokes now =/ i dont approve, but so as long as he knows what he's doing i wont say anything.
i've got 3 taurus buddies in my bunk so all seems fine, fortunate my section people are all friendly enough. & cooperative. i wish wey was in my platoon though, as well as benjamin.
another draining week that passsed by fast enough. thankfully. the next 2 following weeks would be very exhausting, as seen from the training program.but it'll fly, and half the course would have ended by then.
87.
saw hscsb perform in the exchange. i still remember...my exchnge at acs sitting through 14 bands playing almost the same thing over. XD
they were alright. pretty okay, so all the best for nbc. (=
whatever medal on that day, i think they did good to themselves....
met up with the rest of the chums for streamboat dinner (bleah). i really miss my class bestie and one of my closest friend aka JACKY! (=
he feels like family at times.
i still remember the good old days in class with him and the rest of the gang. vividly in colour they were one of the best.
hes still the same old same old. (= the rest too.
what i love about them is perhaps the lack of pretence or masks. what you see is what you get with them.
they're organizing a chalet?? bbq?? so i'll prolly use up a few days of my leave. worth it i guess.
how very dangerous.we can dream and pretend otherwise, we could keep that distance alive
but how very real with what you said and suggest.
will it be a terrible thing?
its what we get- when we immpecably blurred the lines.
29 June, 2008
23 June, 2008
something something.
the start of something new!
okay quick one.
if all goes well, back on friday evening.(=
if all goes real good, then my duration back should not exceed that of tekong's by half an hour. -__-
yesterday a few good things happened.
reallly reassuringly good. (=
almost restores my faith in mankind....by a little. WOO XD
alright!
this better be the only time i have to travel of like this in the blardy morning, hop on the merry train and travel along the merry green line before stopping on the red. whoosh.
here, we go again. friday night. (=
okay quick one.
if all goes well, back on friday evening.(=
if all goes real good, then my duration back should not exceed that of tekong's by half an hour. -__-
yesterday a few good things happened.
reallly reassuringly good. (=
almost restores my faith in mankind....by a little. WOO XD
alright!
this better be the only time i have to travel of like this in the blardy morning, hop on the merry train and travel along the merry green line before stopping on the red. whoosh.
here, we go again. friday night. (=
22 June, 2008
maverick unvariations opus II
& Russia-full credit to them- put the Oranje to the sword and are in the finals.
a six-week course aye.
it will be a very crucial six weeks. make or break, my leg's condtion is NOT good.
strangely after all the slacking for the past 12 days i have no desire to travel out anymore.stay home weekends(minus the occasional lunch or dinner out, or the movie im so anticipating---> batman)
car's latest post resonates deeply. it was what i felt deeply during bmt. nut then. scurrying around like a urgent ant panicking..
it sucks, doesnt it. when some people dont respond to our love or concern for them..... mmm yeah car.
or you dont know what to say because it would just be so awkward or hurtful.
but i guess we cant stop saying or showing them right?
the day we stop doing so,would be a mournful day.
we wont stop. even if its hurts badly, even if tears roll down your cheeks.we wont stop. in giving, we learn to love. but if we only knew how to receive....
i guess when we give, we shouldnt expect anything in return. its not a matter off cynical distrust. just a matter of following Jesus's work. He loved us, but he never asked for any returns. becasue we always had the choice to choose. but he MADE SURE we know, that there is a path of salvation, and thats the greatest gift to us.
coming from me, a cynic in many things, including even the bible. heh.....did not sleep last night.again, entertaining the thoughts of a skeptic. but i know. that the Lord has not abandoned me. still, i feel so far away from Him.....please mend me, please heal my soul. pelase, take this weariness away.
like many people, we all want to be loved by a special person.that special person we feel towards. but... if that person doesnt respond to you....
incognito.
we bear that pain alone.
could you leave mister
leave her alone
if not
stop your cruel games
you're messing with her heart
you dont love her, just the idea
of being in love with love
could you say it gently girl
just to prove his faith
in you
a word,
a few words
a sentence
that you feel the same way
about him too.
if not , let him know.
a six-week course aye.
it will be a very crucial six weeks. make or break, my leg's condtion is NOT good.
strangely after all the slacking for the past 12 days i have no desire to travel out anymore.stay home weekends(minus the occasional lunch or dinner out, or the movie im so anticipating---> batman)
car's latest post resonates deeply. it was what i felt deeply during bmt. nut then. scurrying around like a urgent ant panicking..
it sucks, doesnt it. when some people dont respond to our love or concern for them..... mmm yeah car.
or you dont know what to say because it would just be so awkward or hurtful.
but i guess we cant stop saying or showing them right?
the day we stop doing so,would be a mournful day.
we wont stop. even if its hurts badly, even if tears roll down your cheeks.we wont stop. in giving, we learn to love. but if we only knew how to receive....
i guess when we give, we shouldnt expect anything in return. its not a matter off cynical distrust. just a matter of following Jesus's work. He loved us, but he never asked for any returns. becasue we always had the choice to choose. but he MADE SURE we know, that there is a path of salvation, and thats the greatest gift to us.
coming from me, a cynic in many things, including even the bible. heh.....did not sleep last night.again, entertaining the thoughts of a skeptic. but i know. that the Lord has not abandoned me. still, i feel so far away from Him.....please mend me, please heal my soul. pelase, take this weariness away.
like many people, we all want to be loved by a special person.that special person we feel towards. but... if that person doesnt respond to you....
incognito.
we bear that pain alone.
could you leave mister
leave her alone
if not
stop your cruel games
you're messing with her heart
you dont love her, just the idea
of being in love with love
could you say it gently girl
just to prove his faith
in you
a word,
a few words
a sentence
that you feel the same way
about him too.
if not , let him know.
21 June, 2008
1) How long will you wait for someone you love?
as long as i have to i guess. its like waiting for your favourite steak. except if the steak dont come you cant ask for a refund. =/ [wait you can order something else what.]
2) What do you hope for now?
on a personal level -a meaningful..... experience........ in ns....-_- getting closer, and knowing our dear Lord more. making more friends [sadly all male leh] in the meantime. to grow up more.to accquire wisdom.[heh]
as for the rest. for everybody to be safe, healthy. and if be, peace be with them too.
3) What is the last thing you say/do if tomorrow is the end of the world?
i'll say " wait. so are we dinosaurs now? do you think they'll put my skull on the exhibit? or anything lame. " (=
treat it like a normal day. stay with my loved ones and tell them how much [or little =p ] i love them all along.
death is but one of the many paths we must take.
4) Do you hate your friends sometimes?
do you love your enemies sometimes?
5) What will you do if your best friend has been kidnapped?
999. or kope rifle and hunt. o.0
6) Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
no. i'll be already sleeping by then.
7) What are you listening to now?
always be my baby- david cook
coming home- john legend
some wong lee hom song.
8) What's your desired age of marriage?
when my girl and i feel like it.
9 ) Are you happy with your life now?
if can be better. duh. but yeah. im lucky.really lucky to have so much love around.i may abuse that love sometimes.okay lots of times. but im happy. super blessed though i dont think i fully deserve it.
10) What if your crush asks you out?
err. GO LA.
11) What will you do when you have a crush that knows you have a crush on him/her?
"hey crush, its so cool we have a crush on each other!" -_- just talk to that person la. will die ah.
12) What feeling do you hate the most?
self-pity.
13) What will you do if you fall in love with a guy/girl?
feel good about it, ask the girl out. or just hold my peace and happiness alone.
14) What are you looking forward in the upcoming weeks?
getting posted out of choa chu kang.
15) The most important things in your life?
God. Family.Friends.
16) Who do you hope to always be there for you?
Family, friends.
17) Do you find life meaningless?
huh? is this even supposed to be asked?
18) Where do you think you can find true love?
anywhere. maybe not porn sites...
19) Do you believe that there is 'True love'?
used to...in humans at least.. in the Lord yes.
20) What's your greatest wish?
to bring joy to the ones i care about around me.
21)What will you change when you can turn back time?
some decisions that i continue to regret even now. actually. none.
done! boooring.
as long as i have to i guess. its like waiting for your favourite steak. except if the steak dont come you cant ask for a refund. =/ [wait you can order something else what.]
2) What do you hope for now?
on a personal level -a meaningful..... experience........ in ns....-_- getting closer, and knowing our dear Lord more. making more friends [sadly all male leh] in the meantime. to grow up more.to accquire wisdom.[heh]
as for the rest. for everybody to be safe, healthy. and if be, peace be with them too.
3) What is the last thing you say/do if tomorrow is the end of the world?
i'll say " wait. so are we dinosaurs now? do you think they'll put my skull on the exhibit? or anything lame. " (=
treat it like a normal day. stay with my loved ones and tell them how much [or little =p ] i love them all along.
death is but one of the many paths we must take.
4) Do you hate your friends sometimes?
do you love your enemies sometimes?
5) What will you do if your best friend has been kidnapped?
999. or kope rifle and hunt. o.0
6) Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
no. i'll be already sleeping by then.
7) What are you listening to now?
always be my baby- david cook
coming home- john legend
some wong lee hom song.
8) What's your desired age of marriage?
when my girl and i feel like it.
9 ) Are you happy with your life now?
if can be better. duh. but yeah. im lucky.really lucky to have so much love around.i may abuse that love sometimes.okay lots of times. but im happy. super blessed though i dont think i fully deserve it.
10) What if your crush asks you out?
err. GO LA.
11) What will you do when you have a crush that knows you have a crush on him/her?
"hey crush, its so cool we have a crush on each other!" -_- just talk to that person la. will die ah.
12) What feeling do you hate the most?
self-pity.
13) What will you do if you fall in love with a guy/girl?
feel good about it, ask the girl out. or just hold my peace and happiness alone.
14) What are you looking forward in the upcoming weeks?
getting posted out of choa chu kang.
15) The most important things in your life?
God. Family.Friends.
16) Who do you hope to always be there for you?
Family, friends.
17) Do you find life meaningless?
huh? is this even supposed to be asked?
18) Where do you think you can find true love?
anywhere. maybe not porn sites...
19) Do you believe that there is 'True love'?
used to...in humans at least.. in the Lord yes.
20) What's your greatest wish?
to bring joy to the ones i care about around me.
21)What will you change when you can turn back time?
some decisions that i continue to regret even now. actually. none.
done! boooring.
maverick unvariations
my heel hurts like crazy.
but i guess its worth all the pain (walking barefoot now hurts already, so there isnt much a factor unless i jump or run.or even jog) when it comes to football!! [=
lovely playing it.every single moment. it was tiring, bursting and sprinting and hurting but neither caring for those things.
it makes me forget everything. like when im playing in band[ sorry, only during tpjc under the dr lee era need apply for memory remembrance ]there is this sense of great purpose and focus in functioning now just alone but as an entity with others. a sense of wild joy prevades.
i forget i am 19. i forget my worries.i forget my fears. i forget everything. i forget....that....everything that should be. i dont, as someone used it once to describe"on nitpicking on things that should matter but we still dont" so easily.
i forget. it is not about running away. it is not about turning away from reminders.
it is...about allowing yourself to be. not just to enjoy. just what you wish to be.no restrictions.
you become carefree.you let yourself be. not weighted by whatever you are experiencing.
...just dont play when you got a blocked nose and flam in your throat. ...breathing..is err...a tad more difficult XD
im really glad for Carista. shes been going through a lot of shit lately, and thankyou LORD for watching and blessing and making sure shes okay. and for mending her hurts. thank You so much.[= girl you deserve it.... Lord heal me too? (=
on a side note. errr. how are you gona tag me? -_- dont give me sms crap ah. XD
im in signals, which isnt too bad. hope i get to participate in ndp next year. (= [screw the burned weekends when it happens. my time now beloongs to the saf anyway.]
my pay is increased. yay. _--
met [in order of appearance] sheng! you skinny ass, peng you same old same old! jacky omg you gotten bigger, xiong eh handsome eh, last but not least the couple ! mh and xy!
i miss you old buggers. all of you. had a great time[even with the super poor organising skills of mr tan XD ] like old souls. like old company. you just slide right in like we had have never been separated before. (=
even if the guys were all ranting about dotA. ver.6.52> o.0 the last time i truly played was .32 XD
but can we not eat there again please? its horrible.
as you become older. you lose..quite that bit of that teenager angst/emotional behaviour.
its alright i guess. we were all ignorant fools. still are. just a little wiser, a few battle scars with life to show.
but we must never lose that child in us. it is that spark of life that keeps you going. and preventing you from becoming a very BORING person =p
so what separates a teenager and a teenager transiting to an adult? what about that thing? called the FUTURE.
its like changing ....buses. or trains. -_- okay bad analogy but ahh.
you sit on the express service. and life whips past in a flash. the future becomes so horribly uncertain. and theres no fixed path.
so what do i do?
i dont know. so?
i pray. i plan. i act. i think.i hesitate.i act and think again.i ponder. i doubt. and then finally i act[ verb, u arse..=p--- acting on it..whats with all these verifications???]..and pray and act and pray and act on it. doesnt sound smart eh.
thats all. life will give us shit i guess.anytime.all of a sudden.so?
sometimes just hanging by is already a victory in a trial.
most of the time it isnt so. and therefore?
so many paths lie ahead. i got lectured the other day by the most surprising person..:" you got a very bright future you know that?you're a bright kid [ <---eh i dont think thats true] dont go and fuck it up please." quote word for word.
i looked at that person eyes wide {i know la, not that wide . small eyes okay. (= ] in bewilderment. like. the heck?!
so we we look upon the uncertainty of our futures with pessimistic gloom or with such infectious optimisim-that it irritates the hell out of everybody,especially many adults (= or with a dash of reality and yet with filled with sparling, non bubbly hope? [...seriously.water is water. no bubbles and bubbles? sparkling and non sparkling? wtheckkkk. ]
i dont know.
what do i know? i got this youth now. yeah yeah, less than 2 years im officially an adult. so what?
what do i want? a place in university.to study what i WANT. spiritual growth [ which means, growing closer to the Lord ]
maturity [hell yes, im so childish i scare myself.]
confidence[ thats gotta grow aint it.]
self esteem[ the same.]
yesterday is history, today is a gift for me, tomorrow is a mystery.
these are all i know. study study. i like studying. i like to know more. i want to know more. not just for a career or whatever. i dont want an empty brain.i want A grades because i want to put in effort to make sure i learn--me being an lazy ass. ( qn. does what you learn master you or you mastering it? are you so certain you've mastered it?)
i know studies isnt everything. man you are one hell of a sad human being if all you merely excelled in are studies. seriously. sad. and pitiful.very.
yeah its very important. so much for holistic yesssss -_-
but err. studies = life? im not talking about studying per se. like 10 hours a day when the time requires to be done so. rather. studying to become the top [just that sole purpose] is... yeah its good to have aims.aim top 10, top 3, yeah its all fine. but you want to be top BECAUSE? __________ please fill in the blank. if its for vanity's sake well yeah. good luck you damm frog.in a narrow well.
if all along a person aims for the best in academia because thats all he knows, to strive for the top for the sake of being in among the top. then this education system has just failed that student aint it?
the analogy for life in singapore.in general.
rawrrr. not over. i've diverted from my main train of thought! o.0 which is....uh uh....yeah...my uncertain future and everything else right now.
but i guess its worth all the pain (walking barefoot now hurts already, so there isnt much a factor unless i jump or run.or even jog) when it comes to football!! [=
lovely playing it.every single moment. it was tiring, bursting and sprinting and hurting but neither caring for those things.
it makes me forget everything. like when im playing in band[ sorry, only during tpjc under the dr lee era need apply for memory remembrance ]there is this sense of great purpose and focus in functioning now just alone but as an entity with others. a sense of wild joy prevades.
i forget i am 19. i forget my worries.i forget my fears. i forget everything. i forget....that....everything that should be. i dont, as someone used it once to describe"on nitpicking on things that should matter but we still dont" so easily.
i forget. it is not about running away. it is not about turning away from reminders.
it is...about allowing yourself to be. not just to enjoy. just what you wish to be.no restrictions.
you become carefree.you let yourself be. not weighted by whatever you are experiencing.
...just dont play when you got a blocked nose and flam in your throat. ...breathing..is err...a tad more difficult XD
im really glad for Carista. shes been going through a lot of shit lately, and thankyou LORD for watching and blessing and making sure shes okay. and for mending her hurts. thank You so much.[= girl you deserve it.... Lord heal me too? (=
on a side note. errr. how are you gona tag me? -_- dont give me sms crap ah. XD
im in signals, which isnt too bad. hope i get to participate in ndp next year. (= [screw the burned weekends when it happens. my time now beloongs to the saf anyway.]
my pay is increased. yay. _--
met [in order of appearance] sheng! you skinny ass, peng you same old same old! jacky omg you gotten bigger, xiong eh handsome eh, last but not least the couple ! mh and xy!
i miss you old buggers. all of you. had a great time[even with the super poor organising skills of mr tan XD ] like old souls. like old company. you just slide right in like we had have never been separated before. (=
even if the guys were all ranting about dotA. ver.6.52> o.0 the last time i truly played was .32 XD
but can we not eat there again please? its horrible.
as you become older. you lose..quite that bit of that teenager angst/emotional behaviour.
its alright i guess. we were all ignorant fools. still are. just a little wiser, a few battle scars with life to show.
but we must never lose that child in us. it is that spark of life that keeps you going. and preventing you from becoming a very BORING person =p
so what separates a teenager and a teenager transiting to an adult? what about that thing? called the FUTURE.
its like changing ....buses. or trains. -_- okay bad analogy but ahh.
you sit on the express service. and life whips past in a flash. the future becomes so horribly uncertain. and theres no fixed path.
so what do i do?
i dont know. so?
i pray. i plan. i act. i think.i hesitate.i act and think again.i ponder. i doubt. and then finally i act[ verb, u arse..=p--- acting on it..whats with all these verifications???]..and pray and act and pray and act on it. doesnt sound smart eh.
thats all. life will give us shit i guess.anytime.all of a sudden.so?
sometimes just hanging by is already a victory in a trial.
most of the time it isnt so. and therefore?
so many paths lie ahead. i got lectured the other day by the most surprising person..:" you got a very bright future you know that?you're a bright kid [ <---eh i dont think thats true] dont go and fuck it up please." quote word for word.
i looked at that person eyes wide {i know la, not that wide . small eyes okay. (= ] in bewilderment. like. the heck?!
so we we look upon the uncertainty of our futures with pessimistic gloom or with such infectious optimisim-that it irritates the hell out of everybody,especially many adults (= or with a dash of reality and yet with filled with sparling, non bubbly hope? [...seriously.water is water. no bubbles and bubbles? sparkling and non sparkling? wtheckkkk. ]
i dont know.
what do i know? i got this youth now. yeah yeah, less than 2 years im officially an adult. so what?
what do i want? a place in university.to study what i WANT. spiritual growth [ which means, growing closer to the Lord ]
maturity [hell yes, im so childish i scare myself.]
confidence[ thats gotta grow aint it.]
self esteem[ the same.]
yesterday is history, today is a gift for me, tomorrow is a mystery.
these are all i know. study study. i like studying. i like to know more. i want to know more. not just for a career or whatever. i dont want an empty brain.i want A grades because i want to put in effort to make sure i learn--me being an lazy ass. ( qn. does what you learn master you or you mastering it? are you so certain you've mastered it?)
i know studies isnt everything. man you are one hell of a sad human being if all you merely excelled in are studies. seriously. sad. and pitiful.very.
yeah its very important. so much for holistic yesssss -_-
but err. studies = life? im not talking about studying per se. like 10 hours a day when the time requires to be done so. rather. studying to become the top [just that sole purpose] is... yeah its good to have aims.aim top 10, top 3, yeah its all fine. but you want to be top BECAUSE? __________ please fill in the blank. if its for vanity's sake well yeah. good luck you damm frog.in a narrow well.
if all along a person aims for the best in academia because thats all he knows, to strive for the top for the sake of being in among the top. then this education system has just failed that student aint it?
the analogy for life in singapore.in general.
rawrrr. not over. i've diverted from my main train of thought! o.0 which is....uh uh....yeah...my uncertain future and everything else right now.
It may be long to get me there
It feels like I've been everywhere
But someday I'll be coming home
Round and round the world will spin
Oh, the circle never ends
So you know that I'll be coming home.
19 June, 2008
she says; im really really free-
my only long and fuss free break during ns after all
im supremely free. so sorry zee, you had to emo about he.
heard hsc performing their two pieces.
silver, but gold is within reach. so erm. all the best?
deb told me not to care about hscb anymore
not worth it, as much as it concerns her in any way.
she has a valid point.
uh, nothing interests me more than just staying in home. laziness, yeah. boredom, not really.
i want to fall in love.
will somebody come jumpstart my heart for free? [=
im supremely free. so sorry zee, you had to emo about he.
heard hsc performing their two pieces.
silver, but gold is within reach. so erm. all the best?
deb told me not to care about hscb anymore
not worth it, as much as it concerns her in any way.
she has a valid point.
uh, nothing interests me more than just staying in home. laziness, yeah. boredom, not really.
i want to fall in love.
will somebody come jumpstart my heart for free? [=
18 June, 2008
seems like tomorrow;
gotten a lot of advice from a lot of different people-thank you!
cant do much about life since its temporarily disrupted with serving the nation but a platitude of thoughts are in my head that my hands cant even try to carry all....so.
even among the year -and nine months remaining views can change so rapidly it might just come into conflict with the old, comfortable notions that i clung on to with such conviction.
especially if they are things you dreamt of, once...
posting's this friday. im not worried into whatever unit or camp they will post me to. cant do or argue against it anyway. more concerned about the time and people i will be spending with till march 13 2010.by then i would have , in the eyes of the country, an official adult. -_-
i want to study. i want to study to pursue my dream.not for that stupid piece of paper.not for the rat race. not for the riches.but for my dream. one or two, i would never make.not impossible.but too far away.too distant because of my inability. by nature, and by choice.
which still wont stop me fomr doing stupid but fun things. or things i want to do but in no direct relation to what i have just so clumsily rumbled.
incognito.
but i still love you in every way.
cant do much about life since its temporarily disrupted with serving the nation but a platitude of thoughts are in my head that my hands cant even try to carry all....so.
even among the year -and nine months remaining views can change so rapidly it might just come into conflict with the old, comfortable notions that i clung on to with such conviction.
especially if they are things you dreamt of, once...
posting's this friday. im not worried into whatever unit or camp they will post me to. cant do or argue against it anyway. more concerned about the time and people i will be spending with till march 13 2010.by then i would have , in the eyes of the country, an official adult. -_-
i want to study. i want to study to pursue my dream.not for that stupid piece of paper.not for the rat race. not for the riches.but for my dream. one or two, i would never make.not impossible.but too far away.too distant because of my inability. by nature, and by choice.
which still wont stop me fomr doing stupid but fun things. or things i want to do but in no direct relation to what i have just so clumsily rumbled.
incognito.
but i still love you in every way.
17 June, 2008
egnahc!
i like wang lee hom's [ is that how its spelt?] songs. hes a superb singer to boot, so go check out his songs!
passed by grandma's home today. staring at the ceiling that suddenly seemed to have shrunk in height- and noticing how much i've grown since my early childhood days. those early days, where i spent so many of it in that house...the dog which i grew to love, the grandma who regaled us with wonder of so many stories of a world disappeared, relived through the words of those who once lived in near perpetual darkness of countless nights such as she did.
i see a man's photo whom i will never meet-my grandfather. i have ears like his; sharply pointed. his cheeks too. a loving father and husband, according to my mum , and my grandma.
memories passed on with the gentle flourish of love.
talked to benny. was great talking to him because of his advice. i dont agree with him completely, but i do see his convincing logic of his points. so thanks dude. i promise to come good. thank you for being blunt and caring. (=
i want to swing on that swing again. you, yes you, will know which swing. (=
passed by grandma's home today. staring at the ceiling that suddenly seemed to have shrunk in height- and noticing how much i've grown since my early childhood days. those early days, where i spent so many of it in that house...the dog which i grew to love, the grandma who regaled us with wonder of so many stories of a world disappeared, relived through the words of those who once lived in near perpetual darkness of countless nights such as she did.
i see a man's photo whom i will never meet-my grandfather. i have ears like his; sharply pointed. his cheeks too. a loving father and husband, according to my mum , and my grandma.
memories passed on with the gentle flourish of love.
talked to benny. was great talking to him because of his advice. i dont agree with him completely, but i do see his convincing logic of his points. so thanks dude. i promise to come good. thank you for being blunt and caring. (=
i want to swing on that swing again. you, yes you, will know which swing. (=
16 June, 2008
turn left, down straight.
here you go ch your emo lyrics.
rediscovered the love of reading!
im not used to civilian life even if its a temporary rest that i wont get to enjoy till late march 2010.
kinda miss the regimental functionality. which i wont once it resumes (=
rediscovered the love of reading!
im not used to civilian life even if its a temporary rest that i wont get to enjoy till late march 2010.
kinda miss the regimental functionality. which i wont once it resumes (=
pain is my only real friend
she doesnt hide nor deceive
she gives without asking
knows all my flaws
but never loves me any less
always there for me
i welcome her most
awake solitary
those many sleepless nights
she is there;
singing her lullaby.
she travels everywhere i go
so why do i still feel so alone?
none came. none, came.
15 June, 2008
silver platter fools
unwilling to put up so much.
after reading wz's post it got me pretty much affected.
not the fatalism panache.
the change between a child to an adult is much more gripping than originally realised. governed from ignorance to perhaps a much more naive idealistic contemplation.
now the way you see things no longer through a young teen's narrow and mutli-tinted coloured eyes.
you see the world and everything around you in shades of bleak desolate grey.
you re-examine your relationships. how you process them. how you respond to them. how you react. how you conceive your actions from your thoughts. how your subconcious desires or needs are portrayed fervently and yet so subtly. how they pervade your every single action.
needless to say its been quite the stupor and affecting experience.
i need to let it out specifically. but to who?
whos willing to listen to some illogical, supremely cynically-yet inner idealistically inclined hence paradoxically rewardingly insane ponderings?
help. help. help. somebody.anybody.please help me.
after reading wz's post it got me pretty much affected.
not the fatalism panache.
the change between a child to an adult is much more gripping than originally realised. governed from ignorance to perhaps a much more naive idealistic contemplation.
now the way you see things no longer through a young teen's narrow and mutli-tinted coloured eyes.
you see the world and everything around you in shades of bleak desolate grey.
you re-examine your relationships. how you process them. how you respond to them. how you react. how you conceive your actions from your thoughts. how your subconcious desires or needs are portrayed fervently and yet so subtly. how they pervade your every single action.
needless to say its been quite the stupor and affecting experience.
i need to let it out specifically. but to who?
whos willing to listen to some illogical, supremely cynically-yet inner idealistically inclined hence paradoxically rewardingly insane ponderings?
help. help. help. somebody.anybody.please help me.
13 June, 2008
yawning lions
chinatown in the morning with dimsum,youtiao and a pipping hot soyabean drink appear like the exotic portrait a tourist will imagine himself to be on a froday morning, where shops just emerge from their nightly slumber, where there is an air of quiet,stirring anticipation. renovate all you want, chinatown's still chinatown.
went back home and...snogged o.O nearly all the way till 5. movies to watch, places to visit, pushed back errands to finally get a turn, room chores to handle.& a spoilt mp3 player to fix. hang on the latter's under errands. whatever.
so why the hell am i feeling like a aheavy fatass cloud?
i lost....12kg in bmt. thats an average of 1 every week. i got so much waist space [eh zee.cant see your twinkle toes when you bend over eh? =p ] its become an annoyance and belts are an absolute necessity.that and getting new bottoms.which means spedning more $$$ =/
but COOL huh! i've lost weight wooo. even mum's kinda happy.(=
*celebrates
***
***
***
***
***
***
celebration over.
its still not a good day though. im so LEI all i want to do is duh sleeep and not wake up till next week.
put me through your paces
griddle down the line
im waiting for the keys
to be made by your loving hands
but the doors decide to shut
so i wont wait any longer
gatecrash into your heart
but more like a stumbling fall
dont use one event to determine an outcome.
went back home and...snogged o.O nearly all the way till 5. movies to watch, places to visit, pushed back errands to finally get a turn, room chores to handle.& a spoilt mp3 player to fix. hang on the latter's under errands. whatever.
so why the hell am i feeling like a aheavy fatass cloud?
i lost....12kg in bmt. thats an average of 1 every week. i got so much waist space [eh zee.cant see your twinkle toes when you bend over eh? =p ] its become an annoyance and belts are an absolute necessity.that and getting new bottoms.which means spedning more $$$ =/
but COOL huh! i've lost weight wooo. even mum's kinda happy.(=
*celebrates
***
***
***
***
***
***
celebration over.
its still not a good day though. im so LEI all i want to do is duh sleeep and not wake up till next week.
put me through your paces
griddle down the line
im waiting for the keys
to be made by your loving hands
but the doors decide to shut
so i wont wait any longer
gatecrash into your heart
but more like a stumbling fall
dont use one event to determine an outcome.
12 June, 2008
its the wrong title! D= it shouldnt;
BE "THE HAPPENING". its so not. it should be "the revenge- of-the psychotic-deranged-sick-to the-shit .......ahh. one word gives away everything..-_- go watch..... bizzare.thrilling at one moment, whimsical the next. plot line was so...erm...plot pace was....no eyecandy )=
bimbo rant over.
update this laterrrr.
bimbo rant over.
update this laterrrr.
11 June, 2008
42 violet hill
over.
done nothing but sleep so far.
overnight party later so time to get wasted in gaming and euro (=
coldplay's viva la vida album is pretty good.
check it out.
done nothing but sleep so far.
overnight party later so time to get wasted in gaming and euro (=
coldplay's viva la vida album is pretty good.
check it out.
08 June, 2008
wind up
quite possibly the last post of tekong. its come to an end, with tuesday marking the the official graduation.there isnt much to talk about, other than coming to a full closure.i suppose i will miss that place and some people,and just maybe, look at the memories left behind down the road. POP LO!
friday was pretty much fun, with games day and recruit's evening aka concert time. im gona leave the details out, because im too lazy to go into details(too many) and im too lazy. i'll tell a few who read this blog anyway (=
a few health concerns,so its up to the specialists to check them out, i wont bother. but i'll be doubly cautious when playing football.
bought the coy shirt for .... hey xuan-nie. its your favourite hot pink colour. you'll love it [=
you ass. stop calling me herny. (=
my grandma's birthday. i love YOU! (= no im not going to indulge in a self testimony for her. all i want to do is give her a hug. thats enough. woo.
seems like relationships for some close pals arent doing too good. in the case of sig, not good at all...
show me a sign, and let me know what we did is still worth all the pain
seeing your broken smile breaks my solitary heart.
you're alone, in between the dim and the dark
i am, bethrothed to your memories you left behind.
i loved you once, let that be enough.
friday was pretty much fun, with games day and recruit's evening aka concert time. im gona leave the details out, because im too lazy to go into details(too many) and im too lazy. i'll tell a few who read this blog anyway (=
a few health concerns,so its up to the specialists to check them out, i wont bother. but i'll be doubly cautious when playing football.
bought the coy shirt for .... hey xuan-nie. its your favourite hot pink colour. you'll love it [=
you ass. stop calling me herny. (=
my grandma's birthday. i love YOU! (= no im not going to indulge in a self testimony for her. all i want to do is give her a hug. thats enough. woo.
seems like relationships for some close pals arent doing too good. in the case of sig, not good at all...
show me a sign, and let me know what we did is still worth all the pain
seeing your broken smile breaks my solitary heart.
you're alone, in between the dim and the dark
i am, bethrothed to your memories you left behind.
i loved you once, let that be enough.
01 June, 2008
le vestige
8 more days. a beach-wear party, the cleaning up, the goodbyes that will come.all paths will divulge clear but its not an repressive thing.
thats all there is to it . memorable. sometimes enjoyable.mostly inevitable.
navy called. [ pronounced as na-wi, as she told us cheerfully back then]
5 years, in a span of a flash.shes working her way now into uni, with around 1 year left, before possibly heading into the states. Her english has thoroughly improved, with the canadian accent slurring out.thankfully her chinese is still proficient, so all good (= missus carrer woman. heh.the 12 hour difference meant she called in the early a.m hours but she didnt mind. unfortunately shes not returning to singapore this year, so car, if you want to meet her you gotta wait well into the near future. (=
thats about it really. its been thankfully a quiet , non-eventful week, except with my body recuperating(hopefully) from all the "rest" i get to have these days in camp.some solid planning required for the future since bmt is finally wrapping up.good stuff. cheers.
tpjc winds and guitar concert. met up with ning! (= zing a zing aka stick insect and my grannydaughter and whatever nonsense you can think of other nicks. really missed vch. saw zee, [oei auntie, pass me the chewie sweets!] pouting, met up with wen rong! rubin farhan were all there of course [= good to see em!
met up with a few juniors, the passing stuff. saw matt with his shaggy long mane (= seems like ages agin...when its barely a year gone by when he left.
good to see the band again. a few alumni.. darn proud of my section. esp marcus. playing the bari like a manic, a solid solid sax solo performance on the alto. blardy darn embrassing when he dragged me upstage to see my new juniors and asking them to rmb this sax "god's" [NO! -__-] face and to give me vip treatment whenever i go back. ahhh marcus u bloody uncle!
saw clarice (= still so slim as ever. dancing with bk to the song of buble's sway (= haha. awkward couple! then of course theres melissa, nelson! clarence! caile![settled down with a gf eh] eunice! su qi! so many more! (=
thats all there is to it . memorable. sometimes enjoyable.mostly inevitable.
navy called. [ pronounced as na-wi, as she told us cheerfully back then]
5 years, in a span of a flash.shes working her way now into uni, with around 1 year left, before possibly heading into the states. Her english has thoroughly improved, with the canadian accent slurring out.thankfully her chinese is still proficient, so all good (= missus carrer woman. heh.the 12 hour difference meant she called in the early a.m hours but she didnt mind. unfortunately shes not returning to singapore this year, so car, if you want to meet her you gotta wait well into the near future. (=
thats about it really. its been thankfully a quiet , non-eventful week, except with my body recuperating(hopefully) from all the "rest" i get to have these days in camp.some solid planning required for the future since bmt is finally wrapping up.good stuff. cheers.
tpjc winds and guitar concert. met up with ning! (= zing a zing aka stick insect and my grannydaughter and whatever nonsense you can think of other nicks. really missed vch. saw zee, [oei auntie, pass me the chewie sweets!] pouting, met up with wen rong! rubin farhan were all there of course [= good to see em!
met up with a few juniors, the passing stuff. saw matt with his shaggy long mane (= seems like ages agin...when its barely a year gone by when he left.
good to see the band again. a few alumni.. darn proud of my section. esp marcus. playing the bari like a manic, a solid solid sax solo performance on the alto. blardy darn embrassing when he dragged me upstage to see my new juniors and asking them to rmb this sax "god's" [NO! -__-] face and to give me vip treatment whenever i go back. ahhh marcus u bloody uncle!
saw clarice (= still so slim as ever. dancing with bk to the song of buble's sway (= haha. awkward couple! then of course theres melissa, nelson! clarence! caile![settled down with a gf eh] eunice! su qi! so many more! (=
left alone. walking back, it was emotionally good. havent felt like this in ages. how much they have grown.how much i miss them all. ahhh. crapping with the 2 idiots. (= sometimes. i really want to look back again. how distances can pull us apart. but last night, for that short moment at least, i was so gladly proven wrong twice.
another night of so much thinking. of course, its much better now, since now when we talk about life itself we control the emotions that sunder and usually threaten to overwhelm. or at least we attempt to.
so whats left, besides the remaining 8 days.will life itself present another number of hurdles that will increase the distances of all relationships? pulling many further apart.. my only guess is we make do of things, as best as we can. overcome them no matter how long. but its so much easier to say, or type.sometimes just simply surviving an ordeal is already an achievement...getting down about it may be inevitable. but looking around, i have several role models i take inspiration from. im lucky. sometimes...maybe too lucky for my own good. emotionally..we just have got to take care of ourselves more. not be self absorbed, but simply learning to shield ourselves from the onslaught of events that just want to shatter us, presenting us an opportunityto breakdown and weep, or fall into the pits of the depressed.we always remain conscious of what others look at us and thus present an alternate face, but in army, i managed to learn a simple rule: be comfortable in your own skin. not what you are, but what you could be.heh. this isnt preaching, just a splatter of disorganised thoughts that swirled around last night. not bothered if it sounds like one anyway.
so to my dear close friends, especially a few who have been going through a thoroughly rough and difficult time:hang in there! you, who already are holding on for a period of time now, have proven your strength! so stay, with us as we will do our best to always be there and support you. for even the dark storms must pass, and the sun to shine all the clearer. take heart!
i made a promise.let that little ember not die. let it grow.let it find shelter.
i made a second promise. let that child within not die. let it play.let it smirk.
i made a third promise. let me not discard the belief of love. let it remember.let it dream.
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