Hello
Leave the credits intact or you'll be dead meat. i know it's supposed to be: it's never too late to apologize, so don't try to be a smarty-ass by correcting me.
ARCHIVES
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
I CAN DO IT!
I WON'T LET ANYTHING AFFECT ME.
AFTERALL, I'LL LIVE TO DELIVER. lol
i hope fedex doesn't tax me!
hello world.
I have done all that was needed to be done.
I have endured almost (I hope) all that needs to be endured.
hello world. hope you're listening.
Friends.
do I expect too much of them? expect that they'll keep to their word because it's common decency to? expect too much in them that no matter how screwed up I am, they'll trust me for my capability and not such one stupid insignificant session of Q&A?
Sorry but I don't think it's too much to expect of a friend. because if we just trust Q&As, it's almost as much as a stranger voting for you based on your performance for once. the stranger doesn't know that as much as you can retarded in public, you can be a serious person when you need to get work done. the stranger doesn't know you think half as much as you would about everything and that you hate to be fickle but you just want to look at every issue as objectively as you would. the stranger doesn't know that you refuse to be serious all the time because you're scared that someone will crush you at an instance with their words if you do.
hello world.
and the stranger doesn't throw you around after you've shown too much of yourself.
thank you council campaigning, you taught me so much..
I just wish I didn't need to learn all the lessons that you taught me.
but protection of oneself is always necessary.
because the more you give, the more you tend to fall and get thrown away.
Hello world.
I'm still quite troubled about the whole fac head thing.
but I've decided to let God and let go.
If fac head is for me, then let nothing stand in the way.
If it isnt, I hope I'll fail the interview on monday/tuesday.
Thank you to all the friends who supported me and drag me to agree despite my reluctant self.
recently, I have been losing confidence in myself. afraid that every move would cause an uproar. I just threw my temper today at one of my classmates. Perhaps she might have been too aggressive, but I guess I could have been more diplomatic about the entire thing. things have been going against me. I don't know why, but maybe its because I just simply lack the self control that I used to exert. I hope I can regain it. I need the strength to continue.
I hope this would appear less of a competition to me. I don't know what the outcome would be... but I just want to try my very best... I might not be the best fac head Athena ever had, but I'll be the best fac head that I can ever be.
I don't want to be left behind.
I don't want to be sick.
God, give me strength to cross this river.
maybe I should just let go and let God.
or else my grades will just keep getting hopeless :(
maybe trying to do everything by yourself won't help at all
Things yet to be completed:
1. Preliminary Idea (damn screwed!)
2. HCI Chem ISP Test - revision of Gases notes
3. Copying Jocelyn's Chem Prac Corrections
4. GP research
5. Finish up AQ for GP
6. Math Tutorial
7. Econs notes revision
damn shitty. and there's friendly match tomorrow with NJC so I'll hardly get to do work tomorrow night. oh gah. and I'm still sick. gah.
on a good note, Zhiwan came to church today and had steamboat with us. and we had lotsa fun... and he definitely enjoyed the almost 'free' food. lol
I spent some quality time with you today. wish there can be more opportunities ><
22 April - 1st month. --> I'll try to remember. LOL!
I went to SMB hoping to find a message that would be relevant to me.. as in a positive message..
and I ended up finding..
"Dear C1 Chemistry Students,
Hi!
This is a gentle reminder that the weekly ISP Online Quiz
on Chem Bonding & Gaseous State has been opened since Wednesday. Log in
to ISP --> E-learning --> Tests. This test will close tomorrow night.
There will be an online quiz every week which will begin on
Wednesday and end on Sunday. Please bear in mind that these online
tests will be part of your alternative assessment grade.
Cheers,
Mrs Phee PL"
Oh gah.
never mind. Busy night ahead :( I just want to say thanks to all those who asked me how I was and tagged on my board. I really appreciate it :D I'm better already, the disappointment has faded away... realized that you cant just always believe a person is as such based on one event... though I still have to be cautious about her. oh wells :D
I love the advert on family by MCYS
"Its the little imperfections that make them perfect"
Talking to Samuel always helps puts things in perspective.
THANK YOU SAMUEL :D
On a brighter note, today I went to crash Ares faculty event with Linus and Andai which was basically like no crashing at all, seeing that both of them were so engrossed in that VBC competition of theirs which they both know they would enter the semi-finals, but never mind.
Jocelyn the pao, Waifoon the lao you tiao, Huiqi and I went to Curry Wok, (I was very guai k, I didn't eat curry) for lunch and talked about our earlier orientation days. Somehow you know that... this will turn out to be a great friendship :D
I sat with Jodie for CT session too, had fun talking rubbish and smsing Sheila which I conveniently forgot to reply until like... wth. at night?! I PWN! This has been happening more and more frequently.
but whatever it is,
I'm a happy girl
had my disappointments yesterday and today,
but I expect to move on.
Zeyu said something very touching to me and I guess seriously we cannot judge each other by the surface value... cos you'll lose the real person instead.
of course, I'm hardly one to claim that I practise what I preach
:D
Hello my friend,
I don't even know how to treat you anymore. I used to think that we had so much potential.. so much potential to be good friends... great friends together. I thought that we could perhaps be those that.. even though our cliques were different, we could still stay together and be good friends.
But over these few days, I was taught a lesson. Perhaps I have been over-sensitive, too naive, expected too much... I don't know and I wish for no one to enlighten me... but I've learnt, I've learnt that you prioritize your friends accordingly... that somehow being in a co-ed environment did change us all... some for the better, some for the worst.
I admit that I've changed as well... though definitely not in my hyperness or some people like Sheila would claim that it's AA-ness, which I do not wish to classify myself under any of such categories... but you, you disappoint me. You made me lose confidence in our friendship and somehow through this incident I realized that I cannot trust you because you will never treat me as the friend that I want to be treated us.
We fought before.. and once again, I stand here, questioning myself, is it worth it to continue this friendship that seems useless and so disadvantageous to you?
but before that I had asked myself, is it too much to expect of a friend?
and I realized both answers were no.
I'm sorry, but I guess we can still be what we are, but definitely not any further.
I expected it from her, because she admitted it outright, but you... I expected more.
Maybe friendship isn't about expectations to you, but then again, if it isn't, people would never have gotten disappointed in each other in the first place. but whatever it is, I guess ours is one to toast for convenience.
Thank you for somehow being there.
Goodbye, my friend.
the same feeling of despair hits me once again...
previously it was when I realized that I got into Council.
no, my friends, I'm not saying that I was upset or unhappy that I got into Council but.. it's just that recently I've been spending less time with my seniors especially my favourite.
and I miss them.
and I miss him.
gah. I don't want it to be like... "but someday we'll forget each other and move with life."
JIA YOU PEA! [Perfectly Eligible Athenians]
Wow.
today was some day. hahhaha
but before all of this.. I want to show you what I wanted to say today actually.
Hello fellow Athenians, my name is Ashleen Ngion and my middle name is Athena. Today I just want to share with you what happened to me yesterday. Yesterday I played badminton doubles game. At one particular point of the match, my partner, Alina and I were losing terribly because we were exhausted. So desperate times calls for desperate measures, my big mouth and I announced to the entire court that if my doubles pair did not win this game, I predicted that I would not enter Council. Basically it was just an incentive to play well. Unfortunately we lost that match. I joked that I wasn’t going to get into Council. Suddenly, Alina said to me, “hey let’s play another game.” And I was a bit surprised, but then it occurred to me that she wasn’t ready to give up yet so my big mouth and I announced that if we win this game, the previous bet would not count. It was a tough fight but I was so encouraged by how Alina fought so hard for us.. for me. You see, fellow Athenians, just like how Alina encouraged me, today I ask for you to vote for me, to vote the rest of PEA because I hope that you would play a part to help me reach my Council dream. Harvey Dent from the Dark Knight once said “chance is everything.” But fellow Athenians, I say to you today that he was wrong, because chance isn’t everything, but your vote is.
hahaha I know there's not much a link but thank you Alina! you really made my day yesterday even though my face was too exhausted to show it.
however, eventually I couldn't do this speech because it exceeded by 1 minute! and Kah Loke said that they'll cut us.. which they really did... without any hesitation. So I did some stupid thing... which involved trying to act like I can play guitar, trying to flip the coin and failing to catch it.. basically thoroughly embarrassing myself. oh well.. never mind, the LT sounded like they enjoyed it :( maybe Athenians are sadistic or something. lol and I sang Lydia dedicated to the current cutest guy in the world... LOUIS. omgosh. I win. I don't even know whether his name is spelt this way. I shall upload a picture some other day... Jerome the big pig put it as my phone's wallpaper... not that I mind :D heehee.
okay.. my list of people to thank:
SAMUEL - for staying on the phone with me and laughing at my speech the previous day.
EEYANG, YUANYI, BEEHIANG & ALINA - for brainstorming for ideas for my speech :D
ANDAI - for being the king that he is -.- okay no lah. thank you for being so encouraging and saying that I sing well... no matter how sarcastic you are. lol
SUCHIN, HUIYING, WOONLUE - for saying that they'll get people to vote for me. don't know how true but never mind. lol
JIANLE - the awesome ___ for telling me my rendition of Lydia was quite good until I burst out laughing.
HUIQI, WAIFOON & JOCELYN - for being so AWESOMELY SUPPORTIVE. I love you guys. I was seriously damn touched when I saw your posters.
ATHENIANS - for laughing at me. -.-
and all who messaged me good luck :D