It is a long gone feeling. The feeling of 'these things can never be done with my own ability'. The feeling of 'I (as an individual) am way overrated'. The feeling of 'no matter how hard I try, this work will never live up to the high quality as expected'. The feeling of 'stress' inside myself.
I don't like this feeling.
The last time I vividly remember (or felt) this feeling, was during Standard 6, when I needed to hand in BM homework to Cikgu Ong, and I worked until midnight, thinking it cannot be done, yet must be done.
The feeling came near me a few times throughout my university life. But I was not alone, throughout. They were never as near as this time.
It is pretty different compared to Standard 6 though, the way I am currently facing this 'stress'. I would easily - sometimes without myself realizing - divert my attentions to some other electronic devices, just to face something less stressful I guess. This makes things even more stressful, as things that are supposed to be finished are left undone.
It is awful, simply disgusting.
I'd better get back to work now before I spend more time diverting my attention to this electronic device.
Sunday, July 29, 2012
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