请允许我在这里发泄我的情绪... TMD... 小弟正在面临我一生中前所未有的压力与困难... 怎么会发生这种事？为什么大家看起来这么轻松，却还做得比我好？我也不懂自己在说什么... 总之就是心理极其不平衡... 明明一向来面对压力轻松自如... 竟会搞到如此田地，实在是TMD失败... 或许一开始的选择就是错的... 受到极度约束或许不适合我... 没有一天是不怕自己失去资格... 没有一天... 之前还意气风发的说要来这里好好表现... 似乎太过妙想天开... 一开始的无知导致第一次的失败... 我明明就吸取了教训... 为什么？为什么差别会这么小？再这样下去恐怕离回家不远了吧...
Hmm... 我想，收拾一下炒了一张Paper的心情... 回到其他Paper上... 我想，钟奇霖天生就是很会自我催眠及自我鼓励的高手... 希望奇霖熬得过吧... 不管TMD是冰淇淋/火麒麟... 这一次还没有结束... 更何况还有下一次... 下一次，一定不会让任何事影响... 一定不会... 接下来的，尽最大的努力就是了...
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Sunday, November 01, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
It has been a long time... ^^
Hello everybody... I am back... Feeling sorry for leaving this blog behind for a long time... Hahaha... I have been busy (excuse)... Lolz... Excuse me please...
I am good here... Joined Chinese Debate and REDbird Award Program... Both are very time consuming... But I think I am gaining from these two programs... It is worthwhile to sacrifice my study time for them... Hehe...
Back here to say that MAYBE, just MAYBE, I will start updating my blog in an old but new way... Video, but not me talking... But a little bit about my life... Hahaha... I guess that's what people concern though... Will try... ^^
Anyway, another reason that I abandoned this site is that I think uploading photos in Facebook is sufficient for everyone to know how I have been doing... So now I am trying to try a new way to make this blog alive... Hehe... TRYING...
敬请期待!
PS: DJ, will do your tag, I promise, when I am free... Hahaha... But you won't understand though... Hehe...
I am good here... Joined Chinese Debate and REDbird Award Program... Both are very time consuming... But I think I am gaining from these two programs... It is worthwhile to sacrifice my study time for them... Hehe...
Back here to say that MAYBE, just MAYBE, I will start updating my blog in an old but new way... Video, but not me talking... But a little bit about my life... Hahaha... I guess that's what people concern though... Will try... ^^
Anyway, another reason that I abandoned this site is that I think uploading photos in Facebook is sufficient for everyone to know how I have been doing... So now I am trying to try a new way to make this blog alive... Hehe... TRYING...
敬请期待!
PS: DJ, will do your tag, I promise, when I am free... Hahaha... But you won't understand though... Hehe...
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Words before leave (1) : CKL vs KSK
I have always been thinking... If I go to HK and never come back... You will the friend that I will miss the most in Malaysia... We went through so many things... I guess our bonding cant be described by words...
The moment I go to Form 6, I thought it is fate that we will study together... For one moment, I thought, maybe it will continue, until the very end... Like it has always been... Well, that was a short moment, it doesn't take me long to realize that we will part, no matter how... That's sad... Very... Nevertheless, it is a blessing that we both got what we wanted... Abroad for me, and same uni and course with lover for you... To me, I guess our hardwork pays... *shake hand*
I appreciate what you have done for me before I leave... Birthday celebration, farewell, gift, etc... Thank you... I will never forget... This is just possibly my last birthday in Malaysia, but it is surely, one of the most unforgetable one...
From kids, now we are semi-adults... I bet with my life that you will live your live well, I have faith... Still, I wish your road will be a happy one... Now at tough times, we will both lose a big aid in life... At least I think I lose one... Still, be strong! All the best in your basketball road as well... I will come back to Malaysia, this is for sure... At least, I will surely attend your wedding... Make sure you are not marrying other girl ah... Hahaha...
Take care!
The moment I go to Form 6, I thought it is fate that we will study together... For one moment, I thought, maybe it will continue, until the very end... Like it has always been... Well, that was a short moment, it doesn't take me long to realize that we will part, no matter how... That's sad... Very... Nevertheless, it is a blessing that we both got what we wanted... Abroad for me, and same uni and course with lover for you... To me, I guess our hardwork pays... *shake hand*
I appreciate what you have done for me before I leave... Birthday celebration, farewell, gift, etc... Thank you... I will never forget... This is just possibly my last birthday in Malaysia, but it is surely, one of the most unforgetable one...
From kids, now we are semi-adults... I bet with my life that you will live your live well, I have faith... Still, I wish your road will be a happy one... Now at tough times, we will both lose a big aid in life... At least I think I lose one... Still, be strong! All the best in your basketball road as well... I will come back to Malaysia, this is for sure... At least, I will surely attend your wedding... Make sure you are not marrying other girl ah... Hahaha...
Take care!
Words before leave (2) : CKL vs CDJ
For one second, I wondered the name in the title should be CD or CDJ... Haha... Guess it doesnt matter...
It is really really sad, when I know that you can't get what you desire for public uni... I seriously think you deserve something better... It is not because of your results, though your results, to me, is good enough to get into your desired course... There are people like FXX who got better results than you yet not getting anything but I still like "yeah!" inside my heart... I always think that good people should have good rewards... Doubt it not, you are good... And I guess we will never know whether you get good rewards or not until the very end... so, cheer!
Honestly, I wasn't cheating when I say you are a good person... A good, kind hearted person... Maybe sometimes people see it as stupid, but no worry... You will always have my support, though this support is leaving soon^^ Keep it up... I pray to God that you will persevere this heart of yours...
I am pretty grateful when everyone leaves for their uni, you are still here to train basketball with me... And ajak me out for outings at times... Actually I like to hang out with you... At times, I can learn a lot of new things, maybe without you realizing... Thank you for being such a good friend...
Wish you all the best in Setapak next year... Don't remember things that you should forget... And never forget to try to stop smoking... I am waiting... See you when I see you...
It is really really sad, when I know that you can't get what you desire for public uni... I seriously think you deserve something better... It is not because of your results, though your results, to me, is good enough to get into your desired course... There are people like FXX who got better results than you yet not getting anything but I still like "yeah!" inside my heart... I always think that good people should have good rewards... Doubt it not, you are good... And I guess we will never know whether you get good rewards or not until the very end... so, cheer!
Honestly, I wasn't cheating when I say you are a good person... A good, kind hearted person... Maybe sometimes people see it as stupid, but no worry... You will always have my support, though this support is leaving soon^^ Keep it up... I pray to God that you will persevere this heart of yours...
I am pretty grateful when everyone leaves for their uni, you are still here to train basketball with me... And ajak me out for outings at times... Actually I like to hang out with you... At times, I can learn a lot of new things, maybe without you realizing... Thank you for being such a good friend...
Wish you all the best in Setapak next year... Don't remember things that you should forget... And never forget to try to stop smoking... I am waiting... See you when I see you...
Words before leave (3) : CKL vs LV
Among 3, I meet you the least in these last days of mine in Malaysia... Johor is a far place afterall... Nevertheless, trust me that your presence itself is crucial... Since companion is important... Quoting Minami Koutarou... Especially in watching Kamen Rider, if not people say childish also noone accompany... Haha...
Thank you, for sharing fun with me... For the past two years we shared the fun together... Without you, I will never gain the fun of watching Minami Koutarou in the monitor again as Taiyo no Ko... There wouldnt be Tsukasa, Kurenai Otoya, Takumi, not to forget Setsuna, Lockon, 00 and so on... Imagine how pale my life would be for the past two years without them...
Sorry, for all the critics I have done on you... Thinking back, I think it is pretty unfair to you... And I bet I was, and have been in no place to say anything bad about you... I apologize, please forgive me... Guess I will not do that again, since there is no chance... Not because I am far away... As I start to have faith in you... You will not do anything to disappoint us... ^^
Enjoy your life in Johor... Hope you and Abby happy and sweet forever... All the best...
Thank you, for sharing fun with me... For the past two years we shared the fun together... Without you, I will never gain the fun of watching Minami Koutarou in the monitor again as Taiyo no Ko... There wouldnt be Tsukasa, Kurenai Otoya, Takumi, not to forget Setsuna, Lockon, 00 and so on... Imagine how pale my life would be for the past two years without them...
Sorry, for all the critics I have done on you... Thinking back, I think it is pretty unfair to you... And I bet I was, and have been in no place to say anything bad about you... I apologize, please forgive me... Guess I will not do that again, since there is no chance... Not because I am far away... As I start to have faith in you... You will not do anything to disappoint us... ^^
Enjoy your life in Johor... Hope you and Abby happy and sweet forever... All the best...
Words before leave (4) : CKL vs CJS
I told you I stopped at your post... It wasn't really due to dizzy... Mostly because I want to wait for the gathering... Make it once and for all... Haha...
I think if I were to choose one friend that I owe the most, you would be chosen... Last time when you leave also I didn't do so much for you, like how you did to me... Everytime you come back from Russia you would bring something for me... These last few days, from Kampar one day trip to Ipoh gathering... Despite those time and money you spent on me, care and fun we shared, they cant be described by words...
Thank you so much... For everything you did... To recall how we become friends is really funny... We knew through internet... And in the end we become so close... I guess it was pretty much unpredicted... Lolz... Maybe that's fate... If it is that way, I really appreciate fate for letting me to have such a caring friend...
I saw you wanted to cry before you leave my car... For one second I wanted to as well... Just one second... ^^ But I have always been wanting a pleasant farewell... So, please don't cry... Be happy... We will surely meet again...
Walk straight, and stay strong while living your life... You will always have my support, you are not alone...
I think if I were to choose one friend that I owe the most, you would be chosen... Last time when you leave also I didn't do so much for you, like how you did to me... Everytime you come back from Russia you would bring something for me... These last few days, from Kampar one day trip to Ipoh gathering... Despite those time and money you spent on me, care and fun we shared, they cant be described by words...
Thank you so much... For everything you did... To recall how we become friends is really funny... We knew through internet... And in the end we become so close... I guess it was pretty much unpredicted... Lolz... Maybe that's fate... If it is that way, I really appreciate fate for letting me to have such a caring friend...
I saw you wanted to cry before you leave my car... For one second I wanted to as well... Just one second... ^^ But I have always been wanting a pleasant farewell... So, please don't cry... Be happy... We will surely meet again...
Walk straight, and stay strong while living your life... You will always have my support, you are not alone...
Words before leave (5) : CKL vs CKL
Doubt it not... It is you... The elder one... I doubt you will visit my blog... But I guess this post's existance is necessary...
We live together for 19 years... 5 siblings in the house, you are the closest to me all time... The helps you provided to me, directly and indirectly, are too many to count... In my heart, you are always a smarter person than me... Never a second I question your success in the future... If luck were on your side, i bet the success comes faster...
I think we are each others' rival without us realizing it... Maybe, it is more to me to learn from you than to compete with you... I really think you are far better than me when compared... There are so many things that I wanted to learn from you and yet not able to... So at times, I rely very much on your guidance, since yours are always wise... Now, I am leaving to live alone in HK... I guess it is really time for me to live on myself... I will never forget your advise in life... I really wont...
The sacrifice you did for the family, even if nobody appreciates, you will always have me to support and understand... You are a good brother and good son... I think I am going nowhere if there wasn't you... To me, you are a big brother I respect and love... I know that even one day the whole world betrays me, there will always be a brother to go to...
Thank you for everything all these years... I really really wish you to be able to achieve your dream... Don't forget that you always have my support...
You are still my best FIFA rival... 3 years... Train well... Wait me... DotA as well... Hehe...
We live together for 19 years... 5 siblings in the house, you are the closest to me all time... The helps you provided to me, directly and indirectly, are too many to count... In my heart, you are always a smarter person than me... Never a second I question your success in the future... If luck were on your side, i bet the success comes faster...
I think we are each others' rival without us realizing it... Maybe, it is more to me to learn from you than to compete with you... I really think you are far better than me when compared... There are so many things that I wanted to learn from you and yet not able to... So at times, I rely very much on your guidance, since yours are always wise... Now, I am leaving to live alone in HK... I guess it is really time for me to live on myself... I will never forget your advise in life... I really wont...
The sacrifice you did for the family, even if nobody appreciates, you will always have me to support and understand... You are a good brother and good son... I think I am going nowhere if there wasn't you... To me, you are a big brother I respect and love... I know that even one day the whole world betrays me, there will always be a brother to go to...
Thank you for everything all these years... I really really wish you to be able to achieve your dream... Don't forget that you always have my support...
You are still my best FIFA rival... 3 years... Train well... Wait me... DotA as well... Hehe...
Words before leave (6) : CKL vs LXR@YPS
I am going to meet one of you the next day after I write this post... Guess it is inevitable since I will leave after that... So have to write now^^
I wouldn't say I am still very into debate now that I remember the debate memories, so only I remember you and Pui San... Without two of you realizing it, you two actually played a very important role in my life... I am making it perfectly honest before I leave... ^^
You two might not recall, but I remember very clearly that... Initially, I was half-forced-cum-half-volunteered to enter the debate team... I was nothing that time... Maybe worse than that... I was an irresponsible and utterly useless person, not only in the debate team, but all time (a merely useless kid that time)... I did nothing in the team, I contributed nothing, I was very not cooperative, and the list go on... While two of you, so passionate in debate activities, learning so fast, contributed so much, and the list go on... I was really thinking to "chao geok" only actually... Haha... No matter how hard you two wanted to teach me and all, nothing much changed I guess...
I forgot how long this situation lasted... I still remember Wan Yun left the debate team and I was given the chance to finally go on the stage... I really totally "beh"... I didn't even stand once after my own speech... This situation lasted for few matches I guess... (So i am pretty paiseh to scold juniors actually)
With such situation, we couldn't last long in the competition... We lost... I strongly believe that the lost-cause was me... Maybe I don't like to lose, maybe I can't stand girls crying... I vowed from the bottom of my heart that I will become a good debater, and a good person... I bet you all know the difference after this... Actually there are some hidden "dong li"... Haha... I was trying my best to improve to impress LXR de... Hehe... (I said perfectly honest! Haha...) That's one of the reasons I improve so fast... Haha... And another reason is I am genius lah... Haha...
After all that, I think one of the reasons I can become Deputy Head Prefect was due to the Champion in Chinese Debate... And I think I changed to be better... It is all thanks to two of you, I learnt so much from two of you... And two of you gave me the chance that nobody had... Thank you so much...
To LXR: Actually we didn't even discuss about that after you know that I liked you... Haha... That was a funny accident... I can't stop laughing whenever I think back... Hahaha... Now think back, maybe should ask you how you feel, it should be funny... I don't know about you... But I wouldn't say there weren't any change after that incident happened... At times, I really still think it affects our relationship... For instance, I will think twice if I really want to talk to you, to prevent your misunderstand... Haha... That was last time lah... Bet you were sibeh happy when you know I like other girls... Hahaha... So now it becomes funny memories... Hehe...
We might not be very in touch after everything... Since we are on different route... But undoubtedly, you are always one of my best friends... At times, I know things that I say might hurt you... I never apologized to you... I want to take this chance to do so... "Sorry"x100, really... And I really know at times you sacrifice alot of time to keep this friendship going... I really appreciate it... Thank you...
Wish you and your bf happy and sweet forever... I will attend your wedding, even if you forget to invite me, like how you forget my birthday... Haha...
To YPS: First thing to say, is sorry... Weird huh? I also never said sorry to you... I think I made you cry for so many times during debate times... I really feel "dui bu qi" you at times... You taught me alot... Maybe you didn't realize also... Haha... Thank you... I always enjoy to talk to you... We can blow sky blow earth... My blow water skills developed from here.. Hahaha...
I said this post is to be perfectly honest... I have a question I wanna ask since long time ago: I heard rumor from nowhere that you liked me before, is that true? Hahaha... I am wondering if it is true then the relationship in debate team must be very "luan sui" that time... Lolz... I guess we are so "sook", no "gu ji" to answer this question... Haha... (Can answer me personally... Haha...)
Very happy to know that you are enjoying your life in Japan... To go to Japan with your loved one must be a very joyful thing to you since love is so important to you... ^^ I really feel glad and proud for you... Hope you wont forget me this small small friend when you are in Japan... Hehe... All the best!
I wouldn't say I am still very into debate now that I remember the debate memories, so only I remember you and Pui San... Without two of you realizing it, you two actually played a very important role in my life... I am making it perfectly honest before I leave... ^^
You two might not recall, but I remember very clearly that... Initially, I was half-forced-cum-half-volunteered to enter the debate team... I was nothing that time... Maybe worse than that... I was an irresponsible and utterly useless person, not only in the debate team, but all time (a merely useless kid that time)... I did nothing in the team, I contributed nothing, I was very not cooperative, and the list go on... While two of you, so passionate in debate activities, learning so fast, contributed so much, and the list go on... I was really thinking to "chao geok" only actually... Haha... No matter how hard you two wanted to teach me and all, nothing much changed I guess...
I forgot how long this situation lasted... I still remember Wan Yun left the debate team and I was given the chance to finally go on the stage... I really totally "beh"... I didn't even stand once after my own speech... This situation lasted for few matches I guess... (So i am pretty paiseh to scold juniors actually)
With such situation, we couldn't last long in the competition... We lost... I strongly believe that the lost-cause was me... Maybe I don't like to lose, maybe I can't stand girls crying... I vowed from the bottom of my heart that I will become a good debater, and a good person... I bet you all know the difference after this... Actually there are some hidden "dong li"... Haha... I was trying my best to improve to impress LXR de... Hehe... (I said perfectly honest! Haha...) That's one of the reasons I improve so fast... Haha... And another reason is I am genius lah... Haha...
After all that, I think one of the reasons I can become Deputy Head Prefect was due to the Champion in Chinese Debate... And I think I changed to be better... It is all thanks to two of you, I learnt so much from two of you... And two of you gave me the chance that nobody had... Thank you so much...
To LXR: Actually we didn't even discuss about that after you know that I liked you... Haha... That was a funny accident... I can't stop laughing whenever I think back... Hahaha... Now think back, maybe should ask you how you feel, it should be funny... I don't know about you... But I wouldn't say there weren't any change after that incident happened... At times, I really still think it affects our relationship... For instance, I will think twice if I really want to talk to you, to prevent your misunderstand... Haha... That was last time lah... Bet you were sibeh happy when you know I like other girls... Hahaha... So now it becomes funny memories... Hehe...
We might not be very in touch after everything... Since we are on different route... But undoubtedly, you are always one of my best friends... At times, I know things that I say might hurt you... I never apologized to you... I want to take this chance to do so... "Sorry"x100, really... And I really know at times you sacrifice alot of time to keep this friendship going... I really appreciate it... Thank you...
Wish you and your bf happy and sweet forever... I will attend your wedding, even if you forget to invite me, like how you forget my birthday... Haha...
To YPS: First thing to say, is sorry... Weird huh? I also never said sorry to you... I think I made you cry for so many times during debate times... I really feel "dui bu qi" you at times... You taught me alot... Maybe you didn't realize also... Haha... Thank you... I always enjoy to talk to you... We can blow sky blow earth... My blow water skills developed from here.. Hahaha...
I said this post is to be perfectly honest... I have a question I wanna ask since long time ago: I heard rumor from nowhere that you liked me before, is that true? Hahaha... I am wondering if it is true then the relationship in debate team must be very "luan sui" that time... Lolz... I guess we are so "sook", no "gu ji" to answer this question... Haha... (Can answer me personally... Haha...)
Very happy to know that you are enjoying your life in Japan... To go to Japan with your loved one must be a very joyful thing to you since love is so important to you... ^^ I really feel glad and proud for you... Hope you wont forget me this small small friend when you are in Japan... Hehe... All the best!
Words before leave (7) : CKL vs LPW@FLK
I am typing to family members of mine... My mother and my sister... Really will miss you two alot when I am in HK...
We are classmates since Standard 6... But we get to know each others well in Form 4, when you two sit in front of me and JieFu... I forgot how it started... We blow water like mad... And don't know since when, we tend to do many things together... Tuition, go out, etc... We become a gang... It is really nice to have two of you in the gang, we might not have done many special things together... But we have done MANY things together... That makes everything special...
Sorry... I knew there was once in Poi Lam that all of you actually think that I speak things that hurt... I never apologized to two of you... I really tried my very best to rectify it since then... I hope my improvement is satisfying...^^ And thanks for being such nice friends to let me know my mistakes before it is too late...
You two are the ones who have the highest attendance in my gatherings... Haha... I really enjoy to spend time with two of you... I think I will never find better friends in life... I appreciate... Very...
To LPW: Mum, I am leaving loh... Remember to take care of yourself... In our gang, your role is really like a mother... Sometimes, you lead us... Sometimes, you advise us... Sometimes, you support us... Sometimes, you entertain us... It is so nice to have you around... I am serious...^^
When I am not here, remember to continue take care of yourself... I always think you are a very independent girl... You know what you want and you know what are you doing... I always wish I can learn more from you... Hehe...
All the best in your studies... Help me to find a father soon ya... "Dan qing jia ting" no good... Haha...
To FLK: Sis r sis... I am going to leave loh...
I always wonder if you are my real sis, how good it will be? Haha... A beautiful, good and more importantly nice to me de sis... Where to find woh? Haha... I always think this sis of mine has very high EQ... You are playful, and never get angry to any jokes... I guess that's why in your last relationship when all of us think it woouldnt last... It lasted for so long... I am glad you are in a new relationship now... And the guy is better... Shhhhh... Keep it low... Haha... Much better in fact... I really wish you to have a very happy life after this...
When you get marry, I want be your "bun liong"... Hahaha... Take care and all the best! Learn to protect yourself more at times....
We are classmates since Standard 6... But we get to know each others well in Form 4, when you two sit in front of me and JieFu... I forgot how it started... We blow water like mad... And don't know since when, we tend to do many things together... Tuition, go out, etc... We become a gang... It is really nice to have two of you in the gang, we might not have done many special things together... But we have done MANY things together... That makes everything special...
Sorry... I knew there was once in Poi Lam that all of you actually think that I speak things that hurt... I never apologized to two of you... I really tried my very best to rectify it since then... I hope my improvement is satisfying...^^ And thanks for being such nice friends to let me know my mistakes before it is too late...
You two are the ones who have the highest attendance in my gatherings... Haha... I really enjoy to spend time with two of you... I think I will never find better friends in life... I appreciate... Very...
To LPW: Mum, I am leaving loh... Remember to take care of yourself... In our gang, your role is really like a mother... Sometimes, you lead us... Sometimes, you advise us... Sometimes, you support us... Sometimes, you entertain us... It is so nice to have you around... I am serious...^^
When I am not here, remember to continue take care of yourself... I always think you are a very independent girl... You know what you want and you know what are you doing... I always wish I can learn more from you... Hehe...
All the best in your studies... Help me to find a father soon ya... "Dan qing jia ting" no good... Haha...
To FLK: Sis r sis... I am going to leave loh...
I always wonder if you are my real sis, how good it will be? Haha... A beautiful, good and more importantly nice to me de sis... Where to find woh? Haha... I always think this sis of mine has very high EQ... You are playful, and never get angry to any jokes... I guess that's why in your last relationship when all of us think it woouldnt last... It lasted for so long... I am glad you are in a new relationship now... And the guy is better... Shhhhh... Keep it low... Haha... Much better in fact... I really wish you to have a very happy life after this...
When you get marry, I want be your "bun liong"... Hahaha... Take care and all the best! Learn to protect yourself more at times....
Words before leave (8) : CKL vs CKY
I bet you will never guess I will write about you le... Haha... Surprised? I bet you are not the only one to feel so... Hahaha...
Honestly speaking, very initially, I chat with you just because of CJS... (I am honest, so no secret... But cannot break so much also) I really wanted to help him that time... I guess it is fate that in the end we become good friend... Maybe we don't need to worry about secrets being revealed, I don't know about how you think, but to me, I think that you are one of the very few people who actually know me very well... Haha... I have many secrets in your hands, you have many in mine as well, I believe...
In the end I couldn't help much... That's pretty sad... But I am very glad that you two are still good friends... I hope I didn't "bang dao mang"...
I still remember we talked about our dreams... Time flies... Now we are both walking in roads that we never expected at that moment, right?
I am leaving already... I am glad that I made this friend... This caring friend of mine... I really wish you can achieve what you want... All the best ya!
Honestly speaking, very initially, I chat with you just because of CJS... (I am honest, so no secret... But cannot break so much also) I really wanted to help him that time... I guess it is fate that in the end we become good friend... Maybe we don't need to worry about secrets being revealed, I don't know about how you think, but to me, I think that you are one of the very few people who actually know me very well... Haha... I have many secrets in your hands, you have many in mine as well, I believe...
In the end I couldn't help much... That's pretty sad... But I am very glad that you two are still good friends... I hope I didn't "bang dao mang"...
I still remember we talked about our dreams... Time flies... Now we are both walking in roads that we never expected at that moment, right?
I am leaving already... I am glad that I made this friend... This caring friend of mine... I really wish you can achieve what you want... All the best ya!
Words before leave (9) : CKL vs SS
I am leaving already... Don't know whether you still remember the date I am leaving... Haha...
My form 6 life would be a hard time without you... Though you might not really sense how much you helped... I am not as strong as you might imagined...
We are now on two very different roads... Though I tried to make them meet... I failed... In the end whether I will keep my promise or not... It all lies in the hand of God... I can't say anything now... ^^
I was still wondering why... Until very recently, I suddenly understand... How it feels... I might not know the results... But I will let everything to go the way it should... ^^ I am happy, I get to understand before I leave this land...
It is always joyful to know life there is letting you enjoy... I always know you can live well and take care of yourself very good... Keep it up... Like how you have always been doing... ^^
My form 6 life would be a hard time without you... Though you might not really sense how much you helped... I am not as strong as you might imagined...
We are now on two very different roads... Though I tried to make them meet... I failed... In the end whether I will keep my promise or not... It all lies in the hand of God... I can't say anything now... ^^
I was still wondering why... Until very recently, I suddenly understand... How it feels... I might not know the results... But I will let everything to go the way it should... ^^ I am happy, I get to understand before I leave this land...
It is always joyful to know life there is letting you enjoy... I always know you can live well and take care of yourself very good... Keep it up... Like how you have always been doing... ^^
Saturday, July 18, 2009
High Praise 2009
Hmm... I am not sure, but I guess there are people who actually will feel happy that I actually blog about it... Haha...
As what I mentioned in the last post, I am willing to attend any Christian-based activities... I guess that inspired Mr. Chin to invite me to go for this High Praise 2009 organized by Christian Fellowship of ACS, at 17th June 2009... I went to Kampar that day since early morning... To visit Jinn Shian... And I brought him along to that event... "See see look look" is what say I...
Some might find it weird that I actually appeared in that event, some might not... Trust me that I belong to the former... I am actually quite excited and looking forward to get to know more about this "religion"... Well, that's my motive, and I guess I had achieved it pretty well...
OK, first thing i must say, those people with the surname 陈 are very much not trustworthy... Remember there was this part where we are SUPPOSED to CLOSE our eyes... These two fellows beside me actually didn't close their eyes... WTH... But nevermind... I dare to do, I dare to admit... When they asked me whether I am willing to... Erm... I forgot what was that... It was something like to believe and love the Lord... I raised my hand... OK, you didn't see wrongly... I RAISED MY HAND...
One thing I learnt from this event is, I think I get to know more about Christianity... Maybe I never mentioned before, I certainly learnt more about Buddhism in my life before this... So at times I am actually not so used to the Christians' way... If you don't understand can ask me, it is very hard to explain in words... But I think after this night, I think I accept Christian more than I did before, when I was writing my last post...
Why? I did say I pray to God at times right? I think it is not fair if I don't love God but yet I am asking for His love during times when I need God's help... And I think if I chose to attend activities, I can't go there like I am an outsider and not commiting fully into it... It is meaningless... So expect me to be better next time... ^^
I think this religion issue is taking places more than it deserves in my blog... It makes me look like I care about it alot... So I guess it ends here... Still wanna know what am I now? Lolz... Please refer to the last post... Hiek hiek hiek....
As what I mentioned in the last post, I am willing to attend any Christian-based activities... I guess that inspired Mr. Chin to invite me to go for this High Praise 2009 organized by Christian Fellowship of ACS, at 17th June 2009... I went to Kampar that day since early morning... To visit Jinn Shian... And I brought him along to that event... "See see look look" is what say I...
Some might find it weird that I actually appeared in that event, some might not... Trust me that I belong to the former... I am actually quite excited and looking forward to get to know more about this "religion"... Well, that's my motive, and I guess I had achieved it pretty well...
OK, first thing i must say, those people with the surname 陈 are very much not trustworthy... Remember there was this part where we are SUPPOSED to CLOSE our eyes... These two fellows beside me actually didn't close their eyes... WTH... But nevermind... I dare to do, I dare to admit... When they asked me whether I am willing to... Erm... I forgot what was that... It was something like to believe and love the Lord... I raised my hand... OK, you didn't see wrongly... I RAISED MY HAND...
One thing I learnt from this event is, I think I get to know more about Christianity... Maybe I never mentioned before, I certainly learnt more about Buddhism in my life before this... So at times I am actually not so used to the Christians' way... If you don't understand can ask me, it is very hard to explain in words... But I think after this night, I think I accept Christian more than I did before, when I was writing my last post...
Why? I did say I pray to God at times right? I think it is not fair if I don't love God but yet I am asking for His love during times when I need God's help... And I think if I chose to attend activities, I can't go there like I am an outsider and not commiting fully into it... It is meaningless... So expect me to be better next time... ^^
I think this religion issue is taking places more than it deserves in my blog... It makes me look like I care about it alot... So I guess it ends here... Still wanna know what am I now? Lolz... Please refer to the last post... Hiek hiek hiek....
Friday, June 26, 2009
Talk about religion...
Do you know I am a member of both Buddhist Club and Christian Fellowship? For Buddhist Club, I often tell others that I joined to support our Dai Lou... As for Christian Fellowship, I guess they wrote my name out of accident... But, actually, I won't do things unless I am interested in them... Buddhism, a religion that I know for the longest time, not the best... It is actually a very interesting thing to learn... So there are actually interests there... Lolz... And for the second half part of my upper six life, I had been doing morning prayer almost every morning, joining the Christian Fellowship... And I went for their function in MYC for once, so they have my name written down... Lolz...
So, what am I? A Buddhist? A Christian? That's actually a very good question...
I learn Buddhism, but I am not a Buddhist... Buddhism is a form of education... An education that claims to be one of the most complete education as it not only teach about things in life but also pre-life and after-life... It is interesting, undoubtedly... I am happy to be educated...
I pray to God at times, but I am not a Christian... They say it is a kind of relationship... My friends need it alot, so do I... I pray to Him for good things to happen... Instead of doubting the existance of God, I prefer to choose to believe that He is there... Someone to help when our powers are so limited... I pray for good things, and I feel happy when they come real...
So, again, what am I now? Muslim? Taoist? Hindu?
I believe that, good things are worthy to do... To get good education is worthy, to pray for good things is worthy as well... So what's with the choice? It doesn't really matter anymore, right? We shouldn't be stingy in doing good things... I choose to believe all, and none... That's me, I am a free thinker... Doubt it not!
So, don't feel shy to invite me for Christian activities... I can pray to God... And don't hesitate to let me know more about Buddhism, I like it...
That's the benefit of being a free thinker! Hehe...
So, what am I? A Buddhist? A Christian? That's actually a very good question...
I learn Buddhism, but I am not a Buddhist... Buddhism is a form of education... An education that claims to be one of the most complete education as it not only teach about things in life but also pre-life and after-life... It is interesting, undoubtedly... I am happy to be educated...
I pray to God at times, but I am not a Christian... They say it is a kind of relationship... My friends need it alot, so do I... I pray to Him for good things to happen... Instead of doubting the existance of God, I prefer to choose to believe that He is there... Someone to help when our powers are so limited... I pray for good things, and I feel happy when they come real...
So, again, what am I now? Muslim? Taoist? Hindu?
I believe that, good things are worthy to do... To get good education is worthy, to pray for good things is worthy as well... So what's with the choice? It doesn't really matter anymore, right? We shouldn't be stingy in doing good things... I choose to believe all, and none... That's me, I am a free thinker... Doubt it not!
So, don't feel shy to invite me for Christian activities... I can pray to God... And don't hesitate to let me know more about Buddhism, I like it...
That's the benefit of being a free thinker! Hehe...
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Decision made!
I have to say it is a bit funny... As I took such a long time to make this decision... But it is only a bit... As it wasn't an easy decision to make... It is going to affect my whole life... Just one thing I am sure, I am a future civil engineer... As all universities offer me the same course...
It all started with a phone interview from Hong Kong in the 21st of April... It is Hong Kong University of Science and Technology (HKUST) calling... It wasn't really much of an interview... Simple questions... And they said they would give scholarship to me... Around 50%... I was quite happy actually... At least it is a hope not to study local... And it is a good one...
2 days later... I got an offer from Nanyang Technological University (NTU) in the morning, another one at night, from National University of Singapore (NUS) ... I was over-joyed... As I am sure this time that I won't be studying in local university... Singapore offers full loan... It is just a matter of choice...
I applied for 4 oversea universities in total... One more is University of Queensland (UQ), which my cousin Mr.Chuee said it is very good in engineering... Actually I wanted to apply for both University of New South Wales and University of Queensland, but the counsellor in AusEd suggested to choose only one, as it would be a waste of money... They would surely accept me, as they don't consider Pengajian Am... (That makes me a straight A student, lolz...) I had to choose one, I chose UQ because of its faculty scholarship... And some personal reasons...
Problem... NUS wanted me to reply by 8th of May.... UQ's application was quite late, so the outcome was yet to be known... I had to choose between HKUST, NUS and NTU... Before the deadline mentioned... I actually talked to my father, he said I can consider everyone of them, and let him know my decision...
For your information, during that time, the latest ranking of those 3 universities in the world are: HKUST 39th, NUS 30th, NTU 77th... Actually I wasn't very much into this ranking thingy, as I actually prefer NTU more than NUS in the first place, as I heard NTU's engineering is better than NUS... (common knowledge, technological university mer...) To me, it is more to the cost problem... I wanted to choose the cheapest one... So I had to wait for better scholarships... Though I knew the chances are slim...
Then I heard people getting scholarship interview invitations... I knew i failed to get scholarship for Singapore universities... And it got to a time when I made up my mind, in this fine morning that, I wanted to go to HKUST... Cheapest (Scholarship), Fastest (3-year degree) and Good (for civil engineering, China is coming up...) are the main reasons.... And I had to make the decision fast as the deadline for NUS was near... But to the least of my expectation, my father put his hands into my decision... He wants me to go to Singapore, due to financial issue... (until here, I must emphasize that I am NOT RICH... My parents's income is OK but they have 5 children with very small age difference, they can't afford to send me overseas if I don't get any financial aids...) Singapore offers loan, though it is more expensive, while Hong Kong doesn't, which means he has to pay for everything... My father wanted to do it the safe way... Or maybe he listened to his sister about the ranking thingy? I don't know... But at that moment, I really thought I was going to Singapore......
My father is working in Indonesia... So, I actually talked to him through phone... Then, that day at night, I told my mother about it... My mother actually supported me... And she said she would try to talk to my father about it the next day... I wasn't really expecting much as I usually dare not to disobey my father... But she managed to change his mind... He allowed me to go to HKUST... But that lasted for a few hours... In the afternoon, again, he asked me to call him, and told me about his retire plan... He insisted the more secure way... And this time he even chose the university for me... "NUS" he said, with longer history, higher ranking, cannot be bad in engineering... Once again, I thought I was going to Singapore.. Lolz... Funny huh?
I had another discussion with my elder brother and my mother again that night... My mother didn't say anything... My elder brother actually contributed a lot by stating many benefits to study in Hong Kong... He prefers me to go to Hong Kong...
The next day again, this time, I didn't actually know what happened... What I know is my beloved mother pursauded my father successfully... I got the permission to go to Hong Kong... I really need to thank my mother for that, and my father as well for understanding... Not to forget Chung Kok Loong who had been so helpful throughout my hard time... Thanks alot...
I really thought it has come to an end... I really thought I am going to Hong Kong... I even wanted to pay the HKD20k deposit to HKUST... That was when I received my conditional offer letter from UQ... Condition is IELTS... The date was 11th of May... One of the days in the week I named as "crucial week"...
Why crucial? HKUST's reply deadline is 18th of May... And the reply must be with deposit to be valid... The deposit is not refundable... Back to UQ... I don't know about the scholarship thing even till now, so I presumed it is a no... Australia Unis' tuition fees are expensive... Expensive to an unaffordable level to me without full scholarship... So I thought of just to reject UQ, stick with HKUST and pay the deposit... Until I found out about this one... What it takes to get a PSD scholarship? (Take note the group of eight part...)
It is about JPA scholarship for undergraduate, where they said they will sponsor students to study in top universities in the world... Including the Group of 8 in Australia... (UQ is one of them) As long as the students get unconditional offer from the universities, in specific fields...
Walao... This made the hard-to-make decision even tougher... The scholarship will be announced in June... People in forum said they are still uncertain about it... It might not run this year... And UQ might not be in the list... I am taking risk if I take this one, a big risk... So I planned to pay HKUST first, then only see whether this is applicable or not...
But HKD 20k... It is not a small amount... So my mother and I came to an agreement that, if I am going to wait for UQ, choose Singapore where we need not to pay... While if I am going to HKUST, pay the money and go... To prevent further lost of money...
12th of May, I couldn't make a decision... We planned to pay the deposit during this day... Had to postpone... But can't be too long... The deadline is near...
13th of May, is my old best friend, Ng Shuenn Siang's birthday... And this old friend of mine, kicked my ass all the way from US, to wake me up from a unrealistic dream......
In the end, HKUST instead of UQ... Based on the reasons below:
1. The JPA scholarship is uncertain, not only it is not announced yet, the complaints lately made it changes to Perdana Schoalrship... Everything is so uncertain... HKUST is giving me half scholarship, though not full but affordable...
2. To get to UQ, many things need to be done... IELTS which is expensive and quite torturing... Book accomodation... Postpone reply date... Time consuming indeed...
3. I don't want to work for JPA... A quote from my old friend "You are a smart person, go out and rock the world..." I think I will stay in Hong Kong after graduation, to work there first... This is a country for the last two of CIMB, not me...
In the end, HKUST... No turning back, I paid HKD 20k!!! Lolz... Non-refundable, so, quite sure going... lolz... Wish me luck my friends... I need it... And I will be leaving in August... Ya, to make this decision, the road was sure a tough one... Lolz... If don't like to read about them just read the 1st paragraph and the last one will do... Haha... Anyway, to all my friends who are going to pursue their higher educations, all the best! I am anticipating the day when we are all professional people... Hehe... NEVER GIVE UP!
Btw... For those who don't read newspaper... Asian Top 200 Universities... Take a look... Hehe...
It all started with a phone interview from Hong Kong in the 21st of April... It is Hong Kong University of Science and Technology (HKUST) calling... It wasn't really much of an interview... Simple questions... And they said they would give scholarship to me... Around 50%... I was quite happy actually... At least it is a hope not to study local... And it is a good one...
2 days later... I got an offer from Nanyang Technological University (NTU) in the morning, another one at night, from National University of Singapore (NUS) ... I was over-joyed... As I am sure this time that I won't be studying in local university... Singapore offers full loan... It is just a matter of choice...
I applied for 4 oversea universities in total... One more is University of Queensland (UQ), which my cousin Mr.Chuee said it is very good in engineering... Actually I wanted to apply for both University of New South Wales and University of Queensland, but the counsellor in AusEd suggested to choose only one, as it would be a waste of money... They would surely accept me, as they don't consider Pengajian Am... (That makes me a straight A student, lolz...) I had to choose one, I chose UQ because of its faculty scholarship... And some personal reasons...
Problem... NUS wanted me to reply by 8th of May.... UQ's application was quite late, so the outcome was yet to be known... I had to choose between HKUST, NUS and NTU... Before the deadline mentioned... I actually talked to my father, he said I can consider everyone of them, and let him know my decision...
For your information, during that time, the latest ranking of those 3 universities in the world are: HKUST 39th, NUS 30th, NTU 77th... Actually I wasn't very much into this ranking thingy, as I actually prefer NTU more than NUS in the first place, as I heard NTU's engineering is better than NUS... (common knowledge, technological university mer...) To me, it is more to the cost problem... I wanted to choose the cheapest one... So I had to wait for better scholarships... Though I knew the chances are slim...
Then I heard people getting scholarship interview invitations... I knew i failed to get scholarship for Singapore universities... And it got to a time when I made up my mind, in this fine morning that, I wanted to go to HKUST... Cheapest (Scholarship), Fastest (3-year degree) and Good (for civil engineering, China is coming up...) are the main reasons.... And I had to make the decision fast as the deadline for NUS was near... But to the least of my expectation, my father put his hands into my decision... He wants me to go to Singapore, due to financial issue... (until here, I must emphasize that I am NOT RICH... My parents's income is OK but they have 5 children with very small age difference, they can't afford to send me overseas if I don't get any financial aids...) Singapore offers loan, though it is more expensive, while Hong Kong doesn't, which means he has to pay for everything... My father wanted to do it the safe way... Or maybe he listened to his sister about the ranking thingy? I don't know... But at that moment, I really thought I was going to Singapore......
My father is working in Indonesia... So, I actually talked to him through phone... Then, that day at night, I told my mother about it... My mother actually supported me... And she said she would try to talk to my father about it the next day... I wasn't really expecting much as I usually dare not to disobey my father... But she managed to change his mind... He allowed me to go to HKUST... But that lasted for a few hours... In the afternoon, again, he asked me to call him, and told me about his retire plan... He insisted the more secure way... And this time he even chose the university for me... "NUS" he said, with longer history, higher ranking, cannot be bad in engineering... Once again, I thought I was going to Singapore.. Lolz... Funny huh?
I had another discussion with my elder brother and my mother again that night... My mother didn't say anything... My elder brother actually contributed a lot by stating many benefits to study in Hong Kong... He prefers me to go to Hong Kong...
The next day again, this time, I didn't actually know what happened... What I know is my beloved mother pursauded my father successfully... I got the permission to go to Hong Kong... I really need to thank my mother for that, and my father as well for understanding... Not to forget Chung Kok Loong who had been so helpful throughout my hard time... Thanks alot...
I really thought it has come to an end... I really thought I am going to Hong Kong... I even wanted to pay the HKD20k deposit to HKUST... That was when I received my conditional offer letter from UQ... Condition is IELTS... The date was 11th of May... One of the days in the week I named as "crucial week"...
Why crucial? HKUST's reply deadline is 18th of May... And the reply must be with deposit to be valid... The deposit is not refundable... Back to UQ... I don't know about the scholarship thing even till now, so I presumed it is a no... Australia Unis' tuition fees are expensive... Expensive to an unaffordable level to me without full scholarship... So I thought of just to reject UQ, stick with HKUST and pay the deposit... Until I found out about this one... What it takes to get a PSD scholarship? (Take note the group of eight part...)
It is about JPA scholarship for undergraduate, where they said they will sponsor students to study in top universities in the world... Including the Group of 8 in Australia... (UQ is one of them) As long as the students get unconditional offer from the universities, in specific fields...
Walao... This made the hard-to-make decision even tougher... The scholarship will be announced in June... People in forum said they are still uncertain about it... It might not run this year... And UQ might not be in the list... I am taking risk if I take this one, a big risk... So I planned to pay HKUST first, then only see whether this is applicable or not...
But HKD 20k... It is not a small amount... So my mother and I came to an agreement that, if I am going to wait for UQ, choose Singapore where we need not to pay... While if I am going to HKUST, pay the money and go... To prevent further lost of money...
12th of May, I couldn't make a decision... We planned to pay the deposit during this day... Had to postpone... But can't be too long... The deadline is near...
13th of May, is my old best friend, Ng Shuenn Siang's birthday... And this old friend of mine, kicked my ass all the way from US, to wake me up from a unrealistic dream......
In the end, HKUST instead of UQ... Based on the reasons below:
1. The JPA scholarship is uncertain, not only it is not announced yet, the complaints lately made it changes to Perdana Schoalrship... Everything is so uncertain... HKUST is giving me half scholarship, though not full but affordable...
2. To get to UQ, many things need to be done... IELTS which is expensive and quite torturing... Book accomodation... Postpone reply date... Time consuming indeed...
3. I don't want to work for JPA... A quote from my old friend "You are a smart person, go out and rock the world..." I think I will stay in Hong Kong after graduation, to work there first... This is a country for the last two of CIMB, not me...
In the end, HKUST... No turning back, I paid HKD 20k!!! Lolz... Non-refundable, so, quite sure going... lolz... Wish me luck my friends... I need it... And I will be leaving in August... Ya, to make this decision, the road was sure a tough one... Lolz... If don't like to read about them just read the 1st paragraph and the last one will do... Haha... Anyway, to all my friends who are going to pursue their higher educations, all the best! I am anticipating the day when we are all professional people... Hehe... NEVER GIVE UP!
Btw... For those who don't read newspaper... Asian Top 200 Universities... Take a look... Hehe...
Thursday, March 05, 2009
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
安息吧...
才剛渡完她人生最後的元宵... 她走了... 剛才還好好的... 為什麼? 為什麼她連兒女的最後一面都沒有辦法見? 太不公平了... 她是他們最好的母親, 也是我最好的婆婆... Argh...
啊婆, 安息吧, 要好好走, 啊公會接你的... 請原諒我的不孝, 我不是一個好的孫子... 永別了, 我敬愛的, 婆...
啊婆, 安息吧, 要好好走, 啊公會接你的... 請原諒我的不孝, 我不是一個好的孫子... 永別了, 我敬愛的, 婆...
Monday, February 02, 2009
Friday, January 09, 2009
Saturday, January 03, 2009
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