I'm a big fan of The Rat. As in NatTheFatRat. Found here:
http://www.natthefatrat.com/
She's funny and that's all there is to it.
Plus we've got some things in common.
(And some things not-so-in-common. )
Like she was banished to the wasteland of Idaho at one time.
So was I. (
She grew to love it, I guess. I never did.)
She longed to have a fat gurgly baby for years and years before finally having one this past year.
(I never did and still don't...) I long (
sometimes) to have a cute, non-gurgly husband. (
But then again sometimes I say to myself: Christy, You've got a pretty da*&ed good life. Don't F it up by marrying the wrong guy. And then it's all good.)
Nat the Fat Rat has adventures. All the time. Adventures living in New York City. Adventures exploring the city. Adventures riding the subway. Adventures visiting family in Wilsonville, Oregon. I (
don't live in NYC) have adventures (
only most of the time) live in a suburb of San Francisco and have adventures riding (
not the subway) BART. Adventures traveling the world (
take that, Rat). Adventures visiting MY family in Wilsonville, Oregon.
Seriously, small world, eh?
So I think we must have known each other in some life. Am I saying we were besties? Meh. Probably not. We don't have that much in common (aside from everything aforementioned), though that doesn't stop me from reading all about our not-commonalities. (I'm not into fashion or lipstick or false eyelashes and I don't have a kid...). I wait for her posts with bated breath.
And well,
the long preamble to this post is leading up to THIS point: Nat had a horrible, awful, no good,
very bad travel experience flying United lately (Haven't we all?).
And it's inspired me to tell you about my favorite horrible travel experience. (Isn't that an oxymoron?)
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Once upon a time (Or in Italian:
C'era una volta... don't you just love that?) I transferred from one University to another. (Actually I did that three times... yah.)
But I had three months to kill between semesters. So I needed a job. It was winter. I'd spent the previous summer working my second summer contract on Cruise ships and thought - what the heck, I'll see if they've got anything open now.
Turns out, they did. Less than a week later I boarded a plane in Spokane (I was staying with my parents in the area) bound for SLC, then on to LAX.
All was well for about ten minutes. And then we sat on the Tarmac. Forever. When we finally landed in SLC an hour late I had just enough time to run and catch my flight to LAX. And
I made it... but my ginormous suitcase packed for three months at sea didn't. (Back then you could pack up to 80lbs per suitcase and were allowed two free checked bags! FYI.)
Conundrum. Because I had to get to my ship in the next two hours and sail away with it. I filed a claim with the airline baggage rep, who asked where they could deliver the suitcase when it made it to LAX....
And that's where the fun started.
"Um, you can't. I'm going to work on a Cruise ship and we'll be at sea for the next 14 days."
The airline rep just looked at me,
his general disinterest turned quickly into horror and panic. He filed a claim and then I gave him all sorts of important information. The phone numbers for the cruise line port agents. The ship's schedule, where and when and for how long my ship would be at each port... etc. And then I had to leave.
When I got to the ship, I checked in with the crew office, did all of the official contractual stuff, got my Ship ID and then explained to the Crew officer what had happened with my bag, gave him the contact number for the airline, my claim numbers, etc. (I must say that when Crew Offices on cruise ships are good [and they're not always], they really know how to take care of business.) The Crew Officer immediately got on the sat phone and began making calls for me, while I reported for work. I was paged back to the office a few hours later and told that
my bag would meet me at our first stop in Acapulco, Mexico.
Meanwhile, I had only the promise of monetary compensation for expenses (from the airline), and the clothes on my back (which wasn't too much of a problem as I was issued uniforms to work in) and had just been thrown into the swimming pool as a "welcome onboard" joke. Then I went immediately to my cabin to hand wash and dry (with a hairdryer) my only pair of undies, socks and bra for the first of many times that cruise and then rush back to work...
I zoomed around the ship in my off time those first two days trying to gather necessities: a formal dress for formal night (from the ship's shops), basic makeup, socks, shampoo, conditioner... The guy who had my cabin before me (Luke, the DJ who I was replacing for that one cruise while he was on vacation) had left some t-shirts and basketball shorts, which I commandeered as workout clothing. (He wanted them back when he got back to the ship a few weeks later, but I wouldn't give them up...) Other crew mates lent me things, And I even met some amazing passengers who sent me some their own clothing. (Seriously. What great people.)
It all worked out.
Except for the fact that that the first cruise of that contract was the WORST time of my life. (Not having my suitcase wasn't even a big deal compared to the job.)
Seriously.
Normally on ships I worked as youth staff, but for this contract I was to spend the first cruise as Cruise Staff (Specifically as DJ, which I'd been promised by the home office I wouldn't have to do. The Cruise Director had other ideas.) Then, after that I would switch over to work with the youth because the normal DJ would return from vacation.
I. HATED. WORKING. CRUISE STAFF. Hated it. With every fiber of my being. It didn't agree with me. Every day was a huge challenge. (Word even got around to my Dutch (now ex) boyfriend all the way in Holland that I was not a happy camper. He emailed me to tell me to cheer up. Ships are a small world and Officers are THE WORST gossips you'll EVER meet. LOL.)
Working with adults on a ship is SOOOOO hard compared to working with kids. They're whiny and demanding and ridiculous. Also, the Cruise Director was a complete dillweed. I'd known him on another contract, and he'd constantly made advances to me, which I refused.
This contract he flat out sexually harassed me and made my life miserable. I was assigned EVERY extra duty possible, never given enough time to put activities away between assignments, purposefully not told about mandatory meetings and then accused of being late or not present. Later on in the cruise, when we reached ports of call, I was given IPMs (In-port manning, meaning I had to stay on the ship and be on-call for anything that might arise) as often as possible. (along with the guy I became fast friends with, who the Cruise Director decided he hated... so sorry Dale!)
The staying on the ship part was especially excruciating because I needed to go ashore to get some clothes and personal items!!! Ugh.
Oh... back to the suitcase.
Acapulco came and went. No suitcase.
Huatulco, Cabo San Lucas, Guatemala, Costa Rica...
No suitcase.
It wasn't until nearly three weeks into the cruise (on our way back to San Diego, the home port) when we made an unscheduled, emergency stop back in Acapulco (to medically disembark a passenger who'd had a stroke) that I got a phone call at 5am. The gangway officer had my suitcase and I should come and get it.
Acapulco. It was there the entire time! I gleefully threw on one of the commandeered t-shirts, a ship logo'd zip up sweat shirt from the ship shop and ran down to the gangway, picked up my suitcase, went back to my room, opened the suitcase and... pow!
Half my stuff was missing. The new formal dress my aunt had purchased for me. Some of my clothes. My favorite perfume, jewelry, shoes, etc. The vandals had skipped trying to break the luggage lock and just slit open the back of my suitcase and grabbed stuff.
The upside was that I still had two formal dresses, coordinating shoes, jewelry, under clothing and enough casual clothing to make it for the rest of my contract. PHEW.
And I did make it. The hardest part, as I mentioned, was making it through the first cruise. After that I rolled into the Youth staff position, working with one of my favorite people and life became MUCH easier. Not as great as normal ship life (the Cruise Director was still trying to make my life miserable because I wouldn't sleep with him.) but ever so much more tolerable than before.
I disembarked that ship a week or two after Thanksgiving. And you know, the crazy times weren't over. I had a feeling that the only way to end the bad streak was to make it home. And that was spot on. My flight out of San Diego was canceled and I stayed the night in the city. The next day I flew into Portland, Oregon, where one by one, flights to Spokane were canceled ALL. DAY. LONG. At 6pm I finally boarded a flight, flew the hour + to Spokane and then the plane turned around and flew all the way back to Portland because something froze and they couldn't un-freeze it (Spokane was covered in snow, Portland wasn't) and couldn't land.
So, 8pm, back in Portland once again. Yah. I hate that airport to this day and avoid it at all costs. At that point I have ZERO confidence in that little partner airline (after all, the bulk of cancellations that day, and the turnaround were due to mechanical issues... wouldn't you have problems with that?). I asked them to refund that portion of my ticket price so I could rent a car and drive the four hour drive to Spokane. I managed to get a reasonably good deal on an awful car (Ford Mustang - front wheel drive... and I was headed to snow country!) and I headed up and over the mountain passes for home. (I only spun out once on an off-ramp, luckily.)
About halfway there, headed through a foggy, narrow portion of road I was pulled over and given a $150 ticket for speeding. The thing is that I wasn't speeding anywhere near as fast as the officer said I was. I was speeding, I'll fess up to that, but not horrifically. Oregonian cops are jerks. True story.
At that point I'd been traveling (via airports, planes and cars) for two days. I was exhausted and traumatized. I found a local supermarket and curled up in the front seat of the blasted Mustang to sleep for a few hours, then I finished the drive and made it home without any other complications (thankfully!).
And then it was over. I'd finally made it to base. PHEW.
The end.
NB: That trip is where I learned to pack toiletries, makeup and a change of undies in my carry on. And that knowledge has served me well over the years!
Oh and did I ever tell you about the time I flew from Salt Lake to Anchorage via MINNESOTA? Yah. That was my favorite... *rolls eyes.*