In our ward, we have a monthly newsletter that has information about that month and also a monthly message. Not uncommon, right. Well the different part to me is that each member of each presidency takes a turn to write a monthly message. What???? Isn't that the Bishoprics thing. Actually I really like it because I love to hear what others have to say. But it was my turn to write it, all of a sudden I thought it should be the bishopric's responsibility. I found this out in November and knew what I had to write in on, but I DID NOT WANT TO DO IT!!! I am a pretty open person, but we are still so new in the ward and I was worried I would be judged for my content. I am open about this topic to an extent, but this was like a blaring "HERE I AM, TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT!" I also knew that it had the potential to help so many others and I knew that it was the topic my Heavenly Father wanted me to write about, so I did it. Here is my message:
Like so many others I have spoken to, Elder Holland's talk from the last General Conference, "Like a Broken Vessel," has been a source of strength and comfort to me. I don't remember a time in my life I have not had depressive thoughts to overcome. Some are just there, others have come as a result of problems with friends and not dating in my younger years, then five miscarriages and not feeling I belong as an adult. Mostly I have been able to overcome those thoughts and feelings with the help of the Atonement, prayer, scripture study, uplifting music, loving family and friends, and filling my time being "anxiously engaged in a good cause" (Doctrine and Covenants 58:27).
But, there was a time after three miscarriages in a row that I was in a very dark place. Thankfully the Lord also has provided us with inspired professionals and researchers that give us medicine and tools that can help us help ourselves to overcome the physical and mental trials we face in this life. Elder Holland reminds us that, "If we had appendicitis, God would expect you to seek a priesthood blessing and get the best medical care available. So too with emotional disorders."
Not only has the Lord provided us with medical advancements to go along with the Atonement, but he has also provided us inspired leaders and professionals. Last Saturday at the Relief Society Women's Conference, our inspired leaders asked Steven Eastmond, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, to come and be a guest presenter at the conference. His message was one more piece to my puzzle of healing and also a piece to help me teach my children to have more healthy thoughts and behaviors. He taught us the importance of reframing our belief system from "I can't do anything right" to "I can do many things well." I am striving to make that my new mantra. Also he reminded us that like Nephi, President Hinckley was not an optimist, instead he was a realist. They are not blind to the bad in the world, they just see the good too. They have a balanced scale, so to speak. He told us that our natural man instincts are to focus on the negative. We don't wake up every morning and think, "wow my knees are working great today," but we sure think, "wow my knees are NOT working" if they aren't that day. We need to see the balance of how much good there is, despite the hard times and the trials!
One of my goals for the year is to daily write down three things I did well that day - not perfect, just well. Then to balance my scale, also write down one attainable thing I can work on to do better the next day.
My friends in the gospel, we can do hard things! We can overcome and triumph with the help of our Savior, with the help of our loved ones and with the help of each other as we do all we can to help ourselves. Remember the words of Elder Holland, "... never lose faith in your Father in Heaven who loves you more than you can comprehend. As President Monson said... "That love never changes...It is there for you when you are sad or happy, discouraged or hopeful. God's love is there for you whether you feel like you deserve [it]. It is simply always there." Never, ever doubt that... Hope is never lost."
