Relief Society Message

The Relief Society Declaration states in it's opening line, "We are beloved spirit daughters of God, and our lives have meaning, purpose, and direction."  I love this eternal truth that is taught to us from the time we are infants through the primary song, "I am a Child of God" then reiterated to us in Young Women through the Young Women theme, "We are daughters of a Heavenly Father who loves us and we love Him."  It is again taught in the Proclamation on the Family.  I have often found it interesting that this is the opening line for the Young Women and for the Women.  It must be of great importance for us to remember.  When I can remember this in my life, I feel better about myself because I recognize my divine worth and I am better to others because I recognize their divine worth.  In addition to this I recognize that my life does indeed have meaning purpose and direction.  When I had my 5 miscarriages, I couldn't always understand what meaning and direction these events played in my life.  I still don't completely understand, but I have come to view these trials as a great blessing in my life as they have taught me the role of the Atonement for my pain as well as for my sins.  I was able to recognize that I was not alone when I felt that no one understood my pain and loss.  It has also prepared me for other difficult challenges by teaching me to trust in the eternal truth that I am a daughter of God and my life does have meaning purpose and direction.

Becoming a Granola Eating Tree Hugger

For the last few years I have really gotten interested in preserving and protecting our environment.  I love the outdoors, especially my beautiful mountains, but I have also come to love and respect the beauty of the Arizona desert I grew up in.  I just didn't know what to do to go green and help preserve our environment.  I am a huge lover of the National Parks pass, although I don't use it nearly enough, but I wanted to do my part to preserve that beauty.  

So last summer I was talking to my friend, Mel, who got me to get off my behind and do something.  We don't have recycling in our neighborhood, so I looked into where I could collect and take care of my own paper, plastic and metals.  At this point in our lives, we produced a lot of garbage.  We have two garbage cans and it doesn't cost us very much to add the second, but I felt like it was too much trash for 1 family to produce.  So, after starting recycling, we fill one can about halfway full every week.  We are getting rid of our second can and it really hasn't been that hard.  I make sure when we travel that we recycle as much as possible and now I almost get sick to my stomach when I watch tons of cans, bottles and paper get put in the trash can.  The kids are great to help with it and Corry just calls me a granola eating (I really do like granola) tree hugger, but goes along with it.  

I have also been a great believer in recycling old clothing, shoes, and household items not in use anymore to our local thrift store.  Are there any other ideas out there of how to go green? I am open, although I will continue to shave, that is not an option, to new ideas!  :)  My dream is to have solar panels and a windmill in my yard to produce energy.  Wouldn't that be awesome!

Chug-a Chug-a Choo Choo!

The kids had the day off of school so we went up to "This is the Place Heritage Park".  We were disappointed that all the houses were closed up, but the kids had a fun time playing on the wooden train for awhile anyway.  

I thought it was freezing outside, but they thought it was wonderful.  I had told them all to wear sneakers since we would be doing a lot of walking instead of boots.  I sure wish we had had our boots on to tromp through the snow! Mother doesn't always know best!

Alli driving the train

What you can get away with when NO ONE else is at the Park!

Sometimes I have to look away to see the things they do, other times I have to join in!

How trying to save a little money ended up costing me a fortune!

Alli's birthday was coming up and she asked for an ice cream cake.  I was going to make her one and to save money and use my food storage, I decided to make my own carmel out of a can of sweetened and condensed milk.  To do this, you boil the can for a few hours and it turns to carmel.  I didn't realize it needed to be immersed in water the whole time.  Corry was outside working on the roof (a blog for another day) and the kids were in the family room when I had to take Missy to dance.  Thank goodness they were not in the kitchen.  Right before I got home, the water was completely evaporated in the pan, the can exploded and burned carmel went flying around the kitchen.  The pan flew on the floor, burning it, and the lid hit the ceiling.  It took us a couple of hours to find where the lid of the can ended up.  Fuzzy found it clear over by the kitchen table.  That night Corry and I had a trip to the temple planned along with a nice dinner alone afterwards.  Not going to happen!  We spent the evening with the whole family cleaning carmel off of every space in the kitchen.  

So, my cheap birthday cake turned into eating dinner out because the kitchen was unusable, plus the Coke I bought for myself to overcome the headache I now had; we are going to have to replace the kitchen floor; the pan was destroyed and had to be tossed,  not to worry, I will recycle the metal; the burner it was sitting on is now concave and will have to be replaced; and the jury is still out on whether or not the light fixture will be replaced and the ceiling repainted.  It was a great night!  These pictures do not do justice to the mess we found ourselves in.

The Best Valentine's Party Ever!

This year for Valentine's Day, I wanted to host a really fun party.  So we invited Corry's parents and all his siblings over for a fantastic dinner and a few good natured rounds of "The Newlywed Game" + Ty.  We had fantastic Lasagna, remember the post about the spaghetti sauce I bottled, that is the secret ingredient.  Macaroni Grill bread (yum!), fantastic raspberry drink and a yummy salad rounded out the meal.  We cannot have a Cloward family function without snacks and a yummy dessert (brownie trifle).  

We had a raffle with great prizes.  The first people there (me and Corry and mom and dad) received the first round of tickets, then every time someone else showed up, we gave out another round of tickets.  It pays to be on time!  :)  Then the games began.  We took the girls upstairs to ask questions, while the boys played Pictureka for tickets.  Then we switched.  Some might wonder how Tyler played into all this.  Don't worry, we had questions written just for him.  :)  The game was hilarious and the rules were that no one could leave mad.  We did a lot of laughing.  Mom and Dad were crying and snorting they laughed so hard.  At the end of the night, the person with the most tickets got first pick of the prizes.  Maren and Chad were tied for first, so we had to flip a coin for the tie breaker and Maren won.  After that it was drawing a ticket and whomever had the ticket won the prize - one prize per person.  We had Sudoko for Dummies, an emergency blanket, a purple tie with green polka dots, the movie "Clue", and various other random prizes.  It was a great night!  Happy Valentines Day my Corry.  Thanks for letting me host a party!

Merf and Corry - still in love

Mom and Dad - not sure about this game thing

Adam and Lisa - Adam deep in thought - you have had a lot of time to decide already!

Jana and Joe - we don't want to know what you are doing!

Maren and Chad - the big winners, and the newlyest married

Rob and Krista - making up for the Charo answer (you had to be there)

Ty - isn't it fun hanging out with all your married siblings on a Friday night!  We are so much more fun than any of your friends!

Jana trying to count her tickets - she has her own shelf

Of course the traditional Jana eating picture.  Some might think I ask her to pose for these pictures.  Really I just catch her in the act!  Did you get all the chocolate?

Go Cougars!

We went to the BYU versus CSU basketball game with friends and family.  I am not sure how much of the game we really watched, but we had a lot of fun.  Corry was at Young Men's so he didn't get to come.  He went to the ballet instead.  Funny!

Missy and KK

Me, Fuzzy and Scotty Crazy Eyes

The fam plus Anna

Cosmo came right up to where we were sitting (almost at the top).  Alli and Anna didn't think too much of him being so close.

The crazy kids at the end of the game having a great time.

Boys Night Out

For Christmas, Santa gave Scotty and Corry each a ticket to see the Harlem Globetrotters.  They had a great time together watching the cray basketball and just being together.

Super Bowl 2009

I have to admit that I struggle morally with Super Bowl Sunday.  I would never go to watch a game on Sunday so how is it right to watch a game on TV on Sunday?  Anyway, we watch the Super Bowl every year and have a great time as a family.  The boys watch the game, but mostly it is like any other family get together on Sunday.  Lots of FOOD!

This year, Corry made this awesome football bean dip.

He was very proud! :)

It was Katie's birthday, so Maren made this great castle cake for her.

The highlight of this years game were the 3-D commercials.  The kids were all excited, even though the glasses didn't fit very well.

Everyone found a comfy spot to watch.

Some were cooler than others.

Then there is Fuzzy, always posing.

All the kids together (this is the only time they sat quietly all night)

Aren't we a cute couple?

Of course all the boys had to wrestle and who better to try to take down than Uncle Ty!

Katie blew out her candles.  Happy Birthday Katie!

My favorite part (that I ate for days after) was the stadium rice crispy treats I made.  Yum!

To end the day, there always has to be a picture of Jana eating!  

The Invention Convention

Each year at the kids school, the 6th graders invent something or innovate something for the Invention Convention.  Missy had a really great time doing this (she got to use power tools) except that she had to stand around all day (and miss recess) to explain her invention to all those that came to her.  It was a long day, but it was still a great experience.

Here she is explaining her invention to some kids.

Missy with her friends

Alli loved seeing all the inventions and her big sister.

I was babysitting my neighbors son and the two of them were running around holding hands cracking us up.

Here is Missy's invention:

The Deluxe Game Table Cover

Purpose:

The purpose of this Innovation is an easier way to play games with family and friends without as much hassle cleaning up messes on your table and games.

Who will use this?:

  Anyone who likes games or keeps spilling food and drink all over their games. Really anyone who likes to get together with friends and family.

Alli and "Annie"

So I asked Alli this morning to put her pajamas away.  She left to go do it and started singing, "It's a hard knock life for us."  Sometimes she looks at me and says, "I love you , Miss Hannigan!"  Don't movies teach kids great things!

Blogging

I have had a few people comment on recent post (not leaving comments, just talking to me personally) about how sad my entries make them.  Apparently I am not coming across as I would like.  Since I am doing this as family history/journal, it is good to get feedback  so I can know when my thoughts are not coming across as I intended them.  So, here is why I blog and a little more about me.

I blog for a record of my life and my family's lives.  I wish I knew some of the day to day things about my ancestors, and even more info about my childhood.  I tend to forget things easily.  I have already forgotten so much of what happened when the older girls were little.  I don't want to forget more.

I thought for a long time that I was weird (OK, I like math, I am weird) and the only one that felt the insecurities that I feel.  I have learned, much from comments by those reading and conversations with friends, that I am not the only one with many of these feelings.  

Let me clear something up, there was a brief period of my life that I was depressed.  3 miscarriages in a row wigged out my hormones and my body.  I have bouts of feeling overwhelmed and depression, but I am not clinically depressed.  I make this distinction not to look down on those who are clinically depressed , but just to share my experience in a more truthful light of the way I feel.  Those who are clinically depressed can do somethings to help themselves, but they also need to seek the help of a professional.  Those like me who go through bouts of depression, need to seek the Lord, serve others and be grateful.

I blog so that I can work through my own feelings better.  It is amazingly healing to write my thoughts and have to put them into words.  At times in my life my thoughts have been jumbled and it is nice to write them and be able to delete and edit to really figure out how I feel.

I have been very introspective about why I am the way I am.  I had good parents, imperfect, but good.  My life has been good, so why do I feel so insecure?  Part of it I have determined is just being a woman, part I have pinpointed to certain distinct events in my life where someone made a comment to me and I took it as truth.  A music teacher telling me not to sing, a friend not wanting to be my friend anymore, a boy I dated who just stopped calling and never told me why, teasing by my siblings, etc.  I do not like scary movies or the news.  Why you may ask, because the night after I watch them, I internalize it all and my friends and family become part of the scenario.  Take for example Star Wars Episode III.  Corry taped it off of TV, I hadn't wanted to see it, but I watched the end with him.  That night, he joined the Dark Side and I died in childbirth, not knowing what was going to happen to my 5 children (apparently in my dream I was having another baby) and sick over the spiritual death of the man I love most.  What people say to me effects me in much the same way.  Being a person who is always striving to better myself, I find the cornel of truth in what they say and let it become part of me.  Not always a good thing to do.

The amazing thing through all of this is how much my testimony of my Savior, Jesus Christ has grown.  Inevitably my inadequate thoughts turn around to how much love my Father in Heaven and my Savior have for me.  They gave me angels, heavenly and earthly, they gave me children, an amazing husband, good parents and good friends, the scriptures and a prophet to teach me and guide me.  I am not in this alone nor am I worthless.  I am a beloved daughter of a Heavenly Father who loves me.  That is an amazing gift.  Although I know all this, I still have to overcome my natural man tendencies to belittle myself and to care to much for the approval of others.  

What I have learned is that when I serve others, really serve them, my heart is lighter and I feel more love from my Father and my Savior.  I am busy and involved in many things - that is why.  When I serve I am happy, when I care too much about myself, I go through a "bout" of depression.  When I write, I remember what I need to do and who I am.  Maybe somewhere along the way, someone who feels the same inadequacies can gain something from this.  I know a few of my children who have a few of my character traits.  Hopefully they will learn from my mistakes and my desire to do better.

I am blessed and I am happy.  Not perfect, still striving for that, but I know I can be happy now even with all my imperfections.

Birthday Take 4!

Just when you thought the birthday posts would end, there is one more!  I have many friends, but I have two main groups of friends that I do stuff with on a regular basis.  So last night, Mindy and Wendi picked me up and we went to Olive Garden for a wonderfully leisurely dinner!  I ate breadsticks until I was going to pop and we sat and laughed and talked for 2 hours!  It was wonderfully relaxing and wonderful.  

We were going to go bowling after, but it was bowling league night and we didn't want to show them all up!  Just Kidding!  There was a long wait and I had woken up that morning not feeling great, so we called it a night after talking for another hour!

I feel so blessed to have the greatest of friends.  Thank you for a wonderful relaxing night with great company!

Birthday Take 3!

This was the birthday that never ended!  Apparently a bunch of friends were going to suprise me after the adult session of Stake Conference and take me out for dessert.  Apparently there were 28 people coming!  Wow!  Plans were changed when Corry and I were down in Cedar for his grandma's funeral.  S0, the new plan was to come kidnap me the next Wednesday night.  6 of my friends were able to make it that night.  I was totally surprised and had such a great time with these wonderful ladies!  We ate pie at Wingers and sat and laughed for over an hour.  It was wonderful!  Thank you all my cute friends!  I love you!

Add to all that my wonderful birthday haircut from Julane and lunch out with Amy.  (who was very stealthy!)  What a great year!

34th birthday take two!

I have some crazy friends that like to do crazy things.  Birthdays are the craziest.  At Kim's birthday, I picked up a pillow on her couch that I thought said "Expect Massages".  It really said Expect Miracles.  So for my birthday, they made me a pillow that said "Expect Massages" - funny!

They picked me up one Friday morning and gave me my pillow first with a card that said, "When is the best time to get a massage?  Jamie's thoughts on massage, 'I hate giving massages so I don't ask for them very often because I might have to return the favor (and I don't do feet).'"

Then we all drove to the mall for some mall walking to get all sore and in need of a massage.

The next gift I had to open said, "Give me a nice hot tub and some chocolate and I'm good to go!  Amanda's thoughts on massage, 'The best massage is a guilt free one where you can nearly fall asleep because you don't have to return the favor (AKA paid in advance).'"  In the gift was a package of Peanut butter M&Ms.  Yum!

While at the mall, we had to stop by See's for some free chocolate!

The next gift said, "They say it's important to drink lots of water after a massage.  Kim's thoughts on massage, 'I love a massage especially after water skiing or some other strenuous sports activity.  Like triathlon training.'"  The gift in this one was a water bottle with ice!  I love ice!

Then we went to the Relax the Back store and sat in their massage chairs.  It was wonderful!

The next gift said, "This is the closest thing to a massage you'll be getting from me!  Trina's thoughts on massage, 'I love getting massages... from my husband.'"  The gift was this massager.

The last gift had this card, "You may need this for a massage from your lover, but expect it to be like no other!  Charalece's thoughts on massage, 'I LOVE massages any place, any where, any time and with any one, and that is the honest truth.'"  This gift, well, the picture explains it all.  Funny!

I have great friends!  Thanks MAAD ladies!