thk you frens/pals for all ur concern over my job search.......
somehow i feel at peace.....first wif God and wif myself.
happy tat God taught me a lesson, a lesson to learn frm my mistakes, really learn......tat i take responsibility for my own actions (learning tis again tis time did 'stun' me...)
2nd, learn tat nothing in life is to be taken for granted. Esp. my parents and their advice.....really had a gd-gd time toking to them during tis holiday trip and getting to learn frm them and take their advice wif a willing heart.
3rd, live well. I had the chance to read frm the golfer Greg Norman on some of his life tips too. Some of which i write here...... " DIN-do it now" ; "DIP-do it properly"; "be prepared to change for success"; "learn from others"; "learn from the mistakes and move on"; "think of a better way, dun take shortcuts"; "preparation is good"; etc.
4th. I thank God for teaching me to be a grown-up adult, to plan, to be humble, to be emotionally stable and to be a person of character. Still learning and to fall helps me to fly.......
will continue writing soon. esp. to tok more abt the trip !
Tuesday, December 5
Friday, November 24
one way tat i can make a wrong decision - when i did not seek God/ can't hear His voice amg the many voices
and thus, can be too logical/ humanly making the decision without the wisdom of God.......leading to mistakes, confusion and double-mindedness.......
eSthEr ~
i pulled the brake at tis moment to risk it the last time as i did not want to jump into anoth dustbin again
S
no 2 companies are alike.
S
industry also different.
eSthEr ~
well, the bkgrd of it all was, i was really shocked. CDL, much better, a much better-to-do industry
eSthEr ~
still tHey offered so loW. My frens did warn me even if it (CDL) is the only job it was not the figure i asked for, it mIght not be the right door, even up to the point CDL offered
eSthEr ~
i did not listen. It was my mistake, my wrong, to even say Yes this moRn.
let my 'Yes' be 'Yes' and 'No' be 'No',
also, be steadfast and serious. Thks be to God, it is only by His grace I am not forsaken. Confess, repent and move on. Believe in Him......not my abilities not knowledge.
eSthEr ~
i pulled the brake at tis moment to risk it the last time as i did not want to jump into anoth dustbin again
S
no 2 companies are alike.
S
industry also different.
eSthEr ~
well, the bkgrd of it all was, i was really shocked. CDL, much better, a much better-to-do industry
eSthEr ~
still tHey offered so loW. My frens did warn me even if it (CDL) is the only job it was not the figure i asked for, it mIght not be the right door, even up to the point CDL offered
eSthEr ~
i did not listen. It was my mistake, my wrong, to even say Yes this moRn.
let my 'Yes' be 'Yes' and 'No' be 'No',
also, be steadfast and serious. Thks be to God, it is only by His grace I am not forsaken. Confess, repent and move on. Believe in Him......not my abilities not knowledge.
sorry, left this out in the prev. (see below) posting
Psalm 23
A psalm of David.
1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters,
3 he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, [a] I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
6 Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.
A psalm of David.
1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters,
3 he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, [a] I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
6 Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.
Wednesday, November 15
some more updates...before i forget....
Hi all !
Thks for praying for my job interviews and partner thingy....
Just to update, the MON's interview with City Devets Ltd went well. They will return call and thus, I wld then know if there is 2nd interview (the HR mgr has called one of my character referee and if there is a 2nd interview, i wld meet CDL's grp deputy GM). The process has been vvvvv. draining and i am really scared at times....DOING my BEST now and learning to go for all interviews 100%. As for the Crestar Education Grp one, I still prefer tat, but the HR has yet to revert for my counter-offer. Maybe it is the issue of $ , or God knows that I am yet moulded/ timing ...? Anyway, I will call them tmr, one last time to chat with them.
TOM, THUR- 16 Nov, will have a 1st interview for Leasing Exec. Retail, for the new ORCHARD TuRN DEVts ( a Joint-Venture with CapitaLand). It will be at 12:30pm, with CapitaLand's Ms Chan of Retail dept. Will do my best.... I will go forth, praying for words to speak and correct attire and attitude. THK God for the doors.
As for the partner for life issue, just to update, one of them has 'made a move' last week, as in came to look for me at my office bldg, with a bouquet of flowers. heee. ha, was very upset then and confused, as i liked the other guy better. God knoess.....watever i am happy or upset abt.....my fears and concerns and 'arguments'...
Long story cut short, I will continue to know him just as a fren.....then see how it goes. We are all still meeting in a big grp.
I am chatting online wif the other guy some times, now and then. Watching myself and see if I shd or shd not wait (as in submit this in prayer to God).
Difficult but, thks be to God. I must not be silly.
=0)
Rgds,
me
Thks for praying for my job interviews and partner thingy....
Just to update, the MON's interview with City Devets Ltd went well. They will return call and thus, I wld then know if there is 2nd interview (the HR mgr has called one of my character referee and if there is a 2nd interview, i wld meet CDL's grp deputy GM). The process has been vvvvv. draining and i am really scared at times....DOING my BEST now and learning to go for all interviews 100%. As for the Crestar Education Grp one, I still prefer tat, but the HR has yet to revert for my counter-offer. Maybe it is the issue of $ , or God knows that I am yet moulded/ timing ...? Anyway, I will call them tmr, one last time to chat with them.
TOM, THUR- 16 Nov, will have a 1st interview for Leasing Exec. Retail, for the new ORCHARD TuRN DEVts ( a Joint-Venture with CapitaLand). It will be at 12:30pm, with CapitaLand's Ms Chan of Retail dept. Will do my best.... I will go forth, praying for words to speak and correct attire and attitude. THK God for the doors.
As for the partner for life issue, just to update, one of them has 'made a move' last week, as in came to look for me at my office bldg, with a bouquet of flowers. heee. ha, was very upset then and confused, as i liked the other guy better. God knoess.....watever i am happy or upset abt.....my fears and concerns and 'arguments'...
Long story cut short, I will continue to know him just as a fren.....then see how it goes. We are all still meeting in a big grp.
I am chatting online wif the other guy some times, now and then. Watching myself and see if I shd or shd not wait (as in submit this in prayer to God).
Difficult but, thks be to God. I must not be silly.
=0)
Rgds,
me
Tuesday, November 14
upDates......YEAhhhhh
yea.........so far the LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL is coming. God's light shining in every areas of my life, tho' the midst of exploring and trying is so draining, tiring and can be depressing..............
11 Nov
attended a fren's wedding and helped out at another.......SUCCESS being a gd emcee !
=p
13 Nov
just went for an interview today (with City Developments Limited)...the other one (Crestar Education Grp) which offered, i counter-offered but they hv yet revert.
Well, if they dun revert, means it is not the right timing and door. Thus, really happy got the interview today, it is the same industry-real estate, but better coy. When one door closes, another opens. Praise God. Really hard to sense or know God's heart in the midst of the job search.....The process isn't easy at all, but God is good. Praise God simply also becoz i feel myself being more mature and prepare well, be responsible and talk well.......ALso, able to handle rejections. That the door which isn't from God, I cannot enter.
=0)
Faith, faiTh, fAith......
Cheers. Share more when i do see u all. Jingle, jingle ! Christmas is coming. ....beautiful lights !!! =>
11 Nov
attended a fren's wedding and helped out at another.......SUCCESS being a gd emcee !
=p
13 Nov
just went for an interview today (with City Developments Limited)...the other one (Crestar Education Grp) which offered, i counter-offered but they hv yet revert.
Well, if they dun revert, means it is not the right timing and door. Thus, really happy got the interview today, it is the same industry-real estate, but better coy. When one door closes, another opens. Praise God. Really hard to sense or know God's heart in the midst of the job search.....The process isn't easy at all, but God is good. Praise God simply also becoz i feel myself being more mature and prepare well, be responsible and talk well.......ALso, able to handle rejections. That the door which isn't from God, I cannot enter.
=0)
Faith, faiTh, fAith......
Cheers. Share more when i do see u all. Jingle, jingle ! Christmas is coming. ....beautiful lights !!! =>
Friday, November 10
it's been a long, long, long time......
Dear diary,
it has been (quite) a long time since I've written.
I feel 'tormented' by my own feelings......and I know, I have to fast and pray.
Everytime my feelings 'attack' me and threaten to 'entangle' me, I have to PUT MY FOOT DOWN and say NO ! No, I must not give in and No, I am still living vibrantly and victoriously, despite how my feelings 'tell me'.
YES, the feelings are real, I am a human being, BUT that does NOT mean I hv to sulk, be bitter or keep feeling sad.
In Fact, God has granted me light on the issue and helped me wif understanding.
I GivE U freedom God, to mend my brokeness and fill me up wif gladness....O God, You alone know how i am addicted and weak........raise me up and lemme turn away from it and be towrds You =0)
AhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhAHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ! I will call upon Your name. Shout it Out !
it has been (quite) a long time since I've written.
I feel 'tormented' by my own feelings......and I know, I have to fast and pray.
Everytime my feelings 'attack' me and threaten to 'entangle' me, I have to PUT MY FOOT DOWN and say NO ! No, I must not give in and No, I am still living vibrantly and victoriously, despite how my feelings 'tell me'.
YES, the feelings are real, I am a human being, BUT that does NOT mean I hv to sulk, be bitter or keep feeling sad.
In Fact, God has granted me light on the issue and helped me wif understanding.
I GivE U freedom God, to mend my brokeness and fill me up wif gladness....O God, You alone know how i am addicted and weak........raise me up and lemme turn away from it and be towrds You =0)
AhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhAHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ! I will call upon Your name. Shout it Out !
Monday, October 30
my week 23 Oct--29 Oct
it has been a tremendously packed week...
activities are plenty, things to do a lot, frens to meet drainy.......once again, God never failed.
It has always been a joy to know God has given me extraordinary strength. Even when none understands.
My frens might not get to see me often actually.....I really do hv a big grp of frens (not tat i am boasting....but i can't lost frens. Jia lat. They only think I am busy and neglecting thm.... ... sigh, sense a "sense of helplessness" on my part ?) I am truly trying.
As for the other areas of my life, I was so upset over somebody over the past week tat I had lost sleep. Nobody knows my anxiety, but God U know...U hv always known my weak point. It can be tremendously stressing and UNNECESSARY. Thk U God, U have helped me to change and allow me to wander and RETURN again to ask for help; love from U; security in Your provision and timing.
"....U madeth all things BEAUTIFUL in Ur time..." ---I believe.
As for my ministry, still learning to be faithful, to want to pursue U and not be "distracted" that I forgot the pple U placed and place in my path to take care...... I danced, practised dance steps, dance. But eventually it was God who always multiplied, multiplies. Dancing now is the greatest fulfilment in my life thus far. Really, it is Ur grace and strength that hv propelled me forward.
Work......learning that I am really lazing ard at work. Sigh. Better get back to work...... Thank U God for the interviews !
New job will come by end of 2006, even before it.
Sometimes it can get v lonely to be focused, to be determined and not play... as the whole world seems to like to play. Of coz, it is lonely also becoz my focus is not on earning, not on career, not even on relationships. But on God....or rather in the process of seeking Him.
I do hope SOOooonnnn the day will come I can share intimately all the above and my emotions wif my partner for life. Lord, when is "Isaac" coming ? And when he comes, will I be happy, confused, worried or insecure ? O, help me not to.
This preparation process for me - "Rachel" to meet "Isaac" has been so long, but I truly believe it is worth it.
activities are plenty, things to do a lot, frens to meet drainy.......once again, God never failed.
It has always been a joy to know God has given me extraordinary strength. Even when none understands.
My frens might not get to see me often actually.....I really do hv a big grp of frens (not tat i am boasting....but i can't lost frens. Jia lat. They only think I am busy and neglecting thm.... ... sigh, sense a "sense of helplessness" on my part ?) I am truly trying.
As for the other areas of my life, I was so upset over somebody over the past week tat I had lost sleep. Nobody knows my anxiety, but God U know...U hv always known my weak point. It can be tremendously stressing and UNNECESSARY. Thk U God, U have helped me to change and allow me to wander and RETURN again to ask for help; love from U; security in Your provision and timing.
"....U madeth all things BEAUTIFUL in Ur time..." ---I believe.
As for my ministry, still learning to be faithful, to want to pursue U and not be "distracted" that I forgot the pple U placed and place in my path to take care...... I danced, practised dance steps, dance. But eventually it was God who always multiplied, multiplies. Dancing now is the greatest fulfilment in my life thus far. Really, it is Ur grace and strength that hv propelled me forward.
Work......learning that I am really lazing ard at work. Sigh. Better get back to work...... Thank U God for the interviews !
New job will come by end of 2006, even before it.
Sometimes it can get v lonely to be focused, to be determined and not play... as the whole world seems to like to play. Of coz, it is lonely also becoz my focus is not on earning, not on career, not even on relationships. But on God....or rather in the process of seeking Him.
I do hope SOOooonnnn the day will come I can share intimately all the above and my emotions wif my partner for life. Lord, when is "Isaac" coming ? And when he comes, will I be happy, confused, worried or insecure ? O, help me not to.
This preparation process for me - "Rachel" to meet "Isaac" has been so long, but I truly believe it is worth it.
Wednesday, October 25
Concentrate on my work, my family, my health, my ministry and guard my personal space
Dear Diary.......
as I am typing this, I know that I cannot even pen down the feelings I have when I go thru' tough moments --- such as overcoming my stress when dealing with people; feelings of adequacy and some pple who make me sad at times.
Yet, I need to pen something. I feel a lot, but knowing myself and that emotions are not really true 'representation' of the situations at times, I know my perceptions can be wrong.
In any case, I am going to focus more on my work, my family, my health, my ministry and guard my personal time.......also, my heart. There is so much I can worry about, BUT the converse is even more significant--that there is so much I can do and enjoy.
My work, becoz I am finding more excuses to laze, which is totally bad and contributing me to do more useless things like "surfing the web" haha.
My family, becoz I am really spending too little time. Though we all know one another quite well, sometimes the time is too short, I always seem to be in a rush.....sigh. It is my fault. Also, my mum has been telling me to do some cooking and spend time with housework. It is TIME, high time !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
jia lat.
My health---nothing else to say, except to tell myself, rest, let my body hv repair-process. Enjoy resting and sleep......! If i sleep more, can hv a higher energy level. Rest is for a further distance...=]
My ministry.....to help myself first, is focus. Focus on what God has given me.
My heart, to learn to guard my heart, not to be fretting over issues tat I cannot do, to let go and forgive, people that I am not able to love/ irritated with.......my security to love, without fear of being hurt. Letting go, of my perceptional views of pple. SOMETIMES, the heart is so deceitful that I thot I am always hurt/ I have my right(s)...to be bitter, to be angry, to compete, to be jealous, to gossip...which is wrong. The reasons why such feelings are wrong are becoz :-
(i) relationships betw. humans cannot be reasoned
(ii) many pple hv different personalities -different way of caring/ communicating
(iii) when we are jealous, we scheme and bec. more selfish and probably bitterness builds up and
eats up our joy
(iv) we forget we are perceptional beings without 'enduring' the thoughts of others
(v) even if the feelings seem justifiable, we cannot be happier anyway, coz so what if we are
right, the persons whom we are angry/ jealous/ bitter about deserve forgiveness.
yes, try all of the above.....not for anybody, but first for myself. And indeed, as time passes, and I look back......I am happier and right-er actually (as in not to judge and remain angry).
as I am typing this, I know that I cannot even pen down the feelings I have when I go thru' tough moments --- such as overcoming my stress when dealing with people; feelings of adequacy and some pple who make me sad at times.
Yet, I need to pen something. I feel a lot, but knowing myself and that emotions are not really true 'representation' of the situations at times, I know my perceptions can be wrong.
In any case, I am going to focus more on my work, my family, my health, my ministry and guard my personal time.......also, my heart. There is so much I can worry about, BUT the converse is even more significant--that there is so much I can do and enjoy.
My work, becoz I am finding more excuses to laze, which is totally bad and contributing me to do more useless things like "surfing the web" haha.
My family, becoz I am really spending too little time. Though we all know one another quite well, sometimes the time is too short, I always seem to be in a rush.....sigh. It is my fault. Also, my mum has been telling me to do some cooking and spend time with housework. It is TIME, high time !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
jia lat.
My health---nothing else to say, except to tell myself, rest, let my body hv repair-process. Enjoy resting and sleep......! If i sleep more, can hv a higher energy level. Rest is for a further distance...=]
My ministry.....to help myself first, is focus. Focus on what God has given me.
My heart, to learn to guard my heart, not to be fretting over issues tat I cannot do, to let go and forgive, people that I am not able to love/ irritated with.......my security to love, without fear of being hurt. Letting go, of my perceptional views of pple. SOMETIMES, the heart is so deceitful that I thot I am always hurt/ I have my right(s)...to be bitter, to be angry, to compete, to be jealous, to gossip...which is wrong. The reasons why such feelings are wrong are becoz :-
(i) relationships betw. humans cannot be reasoned
(ii) many pple hv different personalities -different way of caring/ communicating
(iii) when we are jealous, we scheme and bec. more selfish and probably bitterness builds up and
eats up our joy
(iv) we forget we are perceptional beings without 'enduring' the thoughts of others
(v) even if the feelings seem justifiable, we cannot be happier anyway, coz so what if we are
right, the persons whom we are angry/ jealous/ bitter about deserve forgiveness.
yes, try all of the above.....not for anybody, but first for myself. And indeed, as time passes, and I look back......I am happier and right-er actually (as in not to judge and remain angry).
Saturday, October 21
Landscape
Your life's like a landscape and God has the brush.
The work is in progress, He's not in a rush.
Each stroke has a purpose, nothing's by chance.
To see all His wisdom takes more than a glance.
Notice the sunbeams that shine on the dew --Even the clouds can't keep them from view.
Look at the pathway that turns at the hill --Its course will reveal what's next in His will.
The stream that's flowing with water so blueIs bringing down blessings meant just for you.
The trees that are planted close to the streamWill bring forth more fruit than you've ever seen.
The bird in the nest with mouth opened wide
Is just a reminder that God will provide.
Now look at the sheep in the meadow that's near
And notice the Shepherd that keeps them from fear.
He's brought them to pastures which give forth the best,
That cool and refresh, and keep them in rest.
The eagle above, that soars o'er the gale
Is God's way of saying, "My strength will not fail."
That part of the painting which now seems unclear
Will take on new meaning with each passing year.
So trust God to work in His own perfect way
And rejoice in the beauty He's painting today.
And I am sure that God, who began the good work within you, will continue His work until it is finally finished on that day when Christ Jesus comes back again. Philippians 1:6 NLT
The work is in progress, He's not in a rush.
Each stroke has a purpose, nothing's by chance.
To see all His wisdom takes more than a glance.
Notice the sunbeams that shine on the dew --Even the clouds can't keep them from view.
Look at the pathway that turns at the hill --Its course will reveal what's next in His will.
The stream that's flowing with water so blueIs bringing down blessings meant just for you.
The trees that are planted close to the streamWill bring forth more fruit than you've ever seen.
The bird in the nest with mouth opened wide
Is just a reminder that God will provide.
Now look at the sheep in the meadow that's near
And notice the Shepherd that keeps them from fear.
He's brought them to pastures which give forth the best,
That cool and refresh, and keep them in rest.
The eagle above, that soars o'er the gale
Is God's way of saying, "My strength will not fail."
That part of the painting which now seems unclear
Will take on new meaning with each passing year.
So trust God to work in His own perfect way
And rejoice in the beauty He's painting today.
And I am sure that God, who began the good work within you, will continue His work until it is finally finished on that day when Christ Jesus comes back again. Philippians 1:6 NLT
daNce.......G.U.I.Dance God, You and I Dance
dear all sisters,
would like to share something which i hv always wanted to share, but i myself have yet to want to learn it (as in the other area of my life)/ master it, and thus i delayed in sharing.
anyway, as for dance, i can share here first, that indeed patience pays off. And in the "making/ boiling of patience", the ingredients are endurance, faith and being committed. The outcome is JOY.
=0)
it is my journey being a TouchDance member, and a worshipper/dancer for God in FCBC.
Along the way, i thk God for the many leaders. Though I do not click with everybody, nor feel 'appreciated/ accepted' by everybody, i learn that God indeed places angels in our paths.
I hv found great joy in being under the 'wings' of Poh Yen, and dear sisters Sarah (now our leader) and Valerie.
In the beginning, I truly was having a tough time in the TouchDance. It is not easy, esp. when they are many better and learning faster than me. Perhaps, you see the present Esther, but to be honest, I went thru' very down periods of not catching the steps/ not being able to remember the steps/ feeling drained emotionally as a part of TouchDance and also other tough instances /periods as a child of God.
It is even tougher as a dancer in TouchDance, in FCBC, as we have to really watch ourselves, for me, to know that I am not a performer, not to dance for personal fame/ glory.
I joined TD in year 2003 (as far as i can rem). Though I was one of the few recruits tat yr, I was really slow. And, not confident. Also, I don't like to stand in the front as I felt it only made me 'look more stupid'.......
Sometimes i try very hard and still 'cannot make it'. Thks be to God for angels (again) like Poh Yen, Sarah, and etc. It is their warm welcome and smiles that kept me going. Also, God kept reminding me, persevere, I love to dance, God can help me to learn to worship Him via dance.
Not to say I am not without 'bad thots' --- when I asked God for opportunities to dance on stage for the 'beauty', for the 'fun' and the 'joy of performing'. I once struggled so much that I thought - jia lat, I have no heart of worship.
Be it which came first, I thk God, for He is the One who purifies. Thks be to God for His intervention, that I was not really on stage / scheduled to dance on stage due to what was going on in my personal journey as a child of God. Truly the platform is like the altar stated in the olden days, nothing but the best of God and truly as a worship and sacrifice of praise. Continuing to learn it and learning it with God's grace & mercies.
Just a last word of encouragement --- never lose the joy of being a worshipper. Do NOT give up. Keep practising. Be a regular. Continual practice contributes to the eventual success. Indeed one moment on stage is becoz of many practices and hard work.
Perhaps physically (line-work) I also was not up to standard, thus I do not look nice as a dancer. Thus, do try to catch from the seniors, esp. Cassandra and Jiayi, the line-work, learn from Sarah and Valerie the energy and passion, learn from Poh Yen the heart and joy.
God will bless each of us and multiply each of us !
As our TD leader Kelvin once shared ---- there might be star dancers, those who propel or go straight into the limelight; there might also be the weaker/ not so strong foundationally (like me) ....but each has to continue to work hard.
God has a heart for all of us. And we are called into TD not for nothing.
I have found God even deeper as a member of TD and really blessed by my leaders and sisters, all of u. Esp. Christina to mention, recently, angel sent by God in His mercy.
I say this with certainty----God grants anointing after you hv been "persevering, faithful and committed". There is no time frame. He can anoint anyone immed.
God bless !
would like to share something which i hv always wanted to share, but i myself have yet to want to learn it (as in the other area of my life)/ master it, and thus i delayed in sharing.
anyway, as for dance, i can share here first, that indeed patience pays off. And in the "making/ boiling of patience", the ingredients are endurance, faith and being committed. The outcome is JOY.
=0)
it is my journey being a TouchDance member, and a worshipper/dancer for God in FCBC.
Along the way, i thk God for the many leaders. Though I do not click with everybody, nor feel 'appreciated/ accepted' by everybody, i learn that God indeed places angels in our paths.
I hv found great joy in being under the 'wings' of Poh Yen, and dear sisters Sarah (now our leader) and Valerie.
In the beginning, I truly was having a tough time in the TouchDance. It is not easy, esp. when they are many better and learning faster than me. Perhaps, you see the present Esther, but to be honest, I went thru' very down periods of not catching the steps/ not being able to remember the steps/ feeling drained emotionally as a part of TouchDance and also other tough instances /periods as a child of God.
It is even tougher as a dancer in TouchDance, in FCBC, as we have to really watch ourselves, for me, to know that I am not a performer, not to dance for personal fame/ glory.
I joined TD in year 2003 (as far as i can rem). Though I was one of the few recruits tat yr, I was really slow. And, not confident. Also, I don't like to stand in the front as I felt it only made me 'look more stupid'.......
Sometimes i try very hard and still 'cannot make it'. Thks be to God for angels (again) like Poh Yen, Sarah, and etc. It is their warm welcome and smiles that kept me going. Also, God kept reminding me, persevere, I love to dance, God can help me to learn to worship Him via dance.
Not to say I am not without 'bad thots' --- when I asked God for opportunities to dance on stage for the 'beauty', for the 'fun' and the 'joy of performing'. I once struggled so much that I thought - jia lat, I have no heart of worship.
Be it which came first, I thk God, for He is the One who purifies. Thks be to God for His intervention, that I was not really on stage / scheduled to dance on stage due to what was going on in my personal journey as a child of God. Truly the platform is like the altar stated in the olden days, nothing but the best of God and truly as a worship and sacrifice of praise. Continuing to learn it and learning it with God's grace & mercies.
Just a last word of encouragement --- never lose the joy of being a worshipper. Do NOT give up. Keep practising. Be a regular. Continual practice contributes to the eventual success. Indeed one moment on stage is becoz of many practices and hard work.
Perhaps physically (line-work) I also was not up to standard, thus I do not look nice as a dancer. Thus, do try to catch from the seniors, esp. Cassandra and Jiayi, the line-work, learn from Sarah and Valerie the energy and passion, learn from Poh Yen the heart and joy.
God will bless each of us and multiply each of us !
As our TD leader Kelvin once shared ---- there might be star dancers, those who propel or go straight into the limelight; there might also be the weaker/ not so strong foundationally (like me) ....but each has to continue to work hard.
God has a heart for all of us. And we are called into TD not for nothing.
I have found God even deeper as a member of TD and really blessed by my leaders and sisters, all of u. Esp. Christina to mention, recently, angel sent by God in His mercy.
I say this with certainty----God grants anointing after you hv been "persevering, faithful and committed". There is no time frame. He can anoint anyone immed.
God bless !
Friday, October 20
God, help !!!!!!
hao ma bu ci hui tou cao, hao cao ma bu ba hui tou ci
shd i stay in my present job if boss asks me to stay again ??
shd i stay in my present job if boss asks me to stay again ??
Wednesday, October 18
my CoLLEagues
there is a miracle...... (as my story continues here)
tat i have been asked by my colleagues to extend till Dec. (my 2-mth notice shd be till Nov 27)
and guess wat ?
one of the mgrs, who represented to present the request to my boss....... gave a reply that was quite shocking. .....it came out frm my boss' mouth.
the boss said somethg like tis " if she can extend/ you all want her to extend, ask her to extend...., then askk HR. Perhaps she is still entitled to the 13-mth (aka AWS) bonus ---dun shortchange her." It was like a big thing, coz my boss doesn't say tat......in fact, he has 'shortchanged' me for 1plus yrs (also becoz i came in wif no real est. experience, i dun blame him totally for the 1st yr).
i was really glad and filled wif God's mercy and love once again.
(continu-ance of the story) becoz, this realli shows God is in the whole plan of my life....even tho' i was so impulsive/ not obedient (not tat it is rite) AND He can redeem....once upon my repentance (simply turn away and not look bk, not repeat the mistake... but look twrds God)
we are humans....not imperfect, so making mistakes is part-and-parcel.....but it is the perfect God of LOVE who secures, saves, guides and counsels.
[ side-track, impt....====> i almst 'quarrelled' wif a colleague who is quite selfish in a sense and told her --teamwork ! Teamwork lady ! Dun tink so highly of urself...you r not successful jus becoz of ur abilities..... {not tat i also bec. so 99% and forgot to 'withdraw out of the selfish mode'} yes, one or two of them quite bitchy at times......however, we are sometimes like this. For them, they really dun think of trusting and teamwork at times, due to diff. reasons.]
I am safe, quite happy. Quite glad....also glad in my relationships wif my family, we can talk like frens now ! And my bro is also on better terms wif me, he was in 'cold war' with me and we cannot see eye to eye on everythg/anything. NOW, we can share....
tat i have been asked by my colleagues to extend till Dec. (my 2-mth notice shd be till Nov 27)
and guess wat ?
one of the mgrs, who represented to present the request to my boss....... gave a reply that was quite shocking. .....it came out frm my boss' mouth.
the boss said somethg like tis " if she can extend/ you all want her to extend, ask her to extend...., then askk HR. Perhaps she is still entitled to the 13-mth (aka AWS) bonus ---dun shortchange her." It was like a big thing, coz my boss doesn't say tat......in fact, he has 'shortchanged' me for 1plus yrs (also becoz i came in wif no real est. experience, i dun blame him totally for the 1st yr).
i was really glad and filled wif God's mercy and love once again.
(continu-ance of the story) becoz, this realli shows God is in the whole plan of my life....even tho' i was so impulsive/ not obedient (not tat it is rite) AND He can redeem....once upon my repentance (simply turn away and not look bk, not repeat the mistake... but look twrds God)
we are humans....not imperfect, so making mistakes is part-and-parcel.....but it is the perfect God of LOVE who secures, saves, guides and counsels.
[ side-track, impt....====> i almst 'quarrelled' wif a colleague who is quite selfish in a sense and told her --teamwork ! Teamwork lady ! Dun tink so highly of urself...you r not successful jus becoz of ur abilities..... {not tat i also bec. so 99% and forgot to 'withdraw out of the selfish mode'} yes, one or two of them quite bitchy at times......however, we are sometimes like this. For them, they really dun think of trusting and teamwork at times, due to diff. reasons.]
I am safe, quite happy. Quite glad....also glad in my relationships wif my family, we can talk like frens now ! And my bro is also on better terms wif me, he was in 'cold war' with me and we cannot see eye to eye on everythg/anything. NOW, we can share....
patience....prayer and proclaim
Haha, this prayer i prayed last few mths, and wif more clarity. Now i 'write as evidence' in this little online diary.
I had prayed for a partner of life, was so desssperate and yearning...and asihdaoi97u977
anyway, God is blessing me wif more open-ness and courage to wait in prayer and also practically, get to noe more bros-in-christ with no fear, wif no 'shade of doubt/ bad experience'
now i noe---three most impt. characteristics of the relationship i am desiring frm God---- Comfortable, Enduring and God-Glorifying =p
PLus, i also asked God for the other two impt. elements needed in my life -----not to be stubborn and be more consistent/ work serious.
I had prayed for a partner of life, was so desssperate and yearning...and asihdaoi97u977
anyway, God is blessing me wif more open-ness and courage to wait in prayer and also practically, get to noe more bros-in-christ with no fear, wif no 'shade of doubt/ bad experience'
now i noe---three most impt. characteristics of the relationship i am desiring frm God---- Comfortable, Enduring and God-Glorifying =p
PLus, i also asked God for the other two impt. elements needed in my life -----not to be stubborn and be more consistent/ work serious.
Saturday, October 7
a story i must tell......... 05 Oct 2006
THis is a Story I must tell...
something deep within me tat happened on the nite of 05 October 2006 (thurs, during dance) --- this is the 5th day after I had tendered my resignation fr. my present company.
Basically during the dance practice, i broke down and cried. I cried becoz I felt I had betrayed God. This 'betrayal' is due to something I had promised God......I noe I had betrayed Him for just $300-400 a mth. Cannot explain in details, but v.personally, the unfaithful me did it for a 2nd time... for salary matters in job.
Maybe God has had already known I would 'betray' Him...yes, He who is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow knows. It just broke me (my pride...) so much that I felt not guilt this time, but a brokeness and deep sense of need for repentance and His forgiveness. Maybe it is the point of deeply realising how bad I was, am and how much I know His grace and mercies hv last.
Yes, the presence of Him during the dance practice only grants me the 'space' to ask Him of forgiveness, for restoration.
Thk You Lord, for Your mercies. And, He did send His people, a sister fr. Dance, Christina (tho' we briefly noe each other recently), to come to me, to pray and affirm His love and forgiveness for me. I now know, for real, His love is unconditional.
Through yrs 2002 till 2006, the things I hv done absolutely showed all the bad inclinations/ thots i have, towrds pple and God Himself. Why, why, why and how to get out of it... ......
And as I recounted, I realised I had been trying to 'hide" and trying v. hard to change too.
The depth of His love did not reach me nor change me coz I still feel 'right', I am right, I am righteous...
Or rather, God, I don't think You really love me.
So, in relating to my family and frens, colleagues, etc., I am not quite sure, how to and wat to do to love them more. That is so much stagnation and conflicting thots and feelings within me.
The other deep thing is realising that there is no two masters. Really, either love the money, or love God. Esp. for christians....... truly difficult to be in the middle ground.
There is no middle ground. Thus, many christians who are in middle grd suffers. Even more than non-christians. It is like CONSTIPATION......... a form of illness but doesn't feel fatal enuff.
I am so free, so happy now.
THe freedom I hv in Christ is becoz He has loved me first and set me free.
There is no condemnation in Him. Though, it is true that He who is holy desires us to be holy. Holiness comes fr. Him, not by our might.
The feeling of guilt is a 'alarm' - just like conscience, becoz we were made in His image, to want good.
something deep within me tat happened on the nite of 05 October 2006 (thurs, during dance) --- this is the 5th day after I had tendered my resignation fr. my present company.
Basically during the dance practice, i broke down and cried. I cried becoz I felt I had betrayed God. This 'betrayal' is due to something I had promised God......I noe I had betrayed Him for just $300-400 a mth. Cannot explain in details, but v.personally, the unfaithful me did it for a 2nd time... for salary matters in job.
Maybe God has had already known I would 'betray' Him...yes, He who is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow knows. It just broke me (my pride...) so much that I felt not guilt this time, but a brokeness and deep sense of need for repentance and His forgiveness. Maybe it is the point of deeply realising how bad I was, am and how much I know His grace and mercies hv last.
Yes, the presence of Him during the dance practice only grants me the 'space' to ask Him of forgiveness, for restoration.
Thk You Lord, for Your mercies. And, He did send His people, a sister fr. Dance, Christina (tho' we briefly noe each other recently), to come to me, to pray and affirm His love and forgiveness for me. I now know, for real, His love is unconditional.
Through yrs 2002 till 2006, the things I hv done absolutely showed all the bad inclinations/ thots i have, towrds pple and God Himself. Why, why, why and how to get out of it... ......
And as I recounted, I realised I had been trying to 'hide" and trying v. hard to change too.
The depth of His love did not reach me nor change me coz I still feel 'right', I am right, I am righteous...
Or rather, God, I don't think You really love me.
So, in relating to my family and frens, colleagues, etc., I am not quite sure, how to and wat to do to love them more. That is so much stagnation and conflicting thots and feelings within me.
The other deep thing is realising that there is no two masters. Really, either love the money, or love God. Esp. for christians....... truly difficult to be in the middle ground.
There is no middle ground. Thus, many christians who are in middle grd suffers. Even more than non-christians. It is like CONSTIPATION......... a form of illness but doesn't feel fatal enuff.
I am so free, so happy now.
THe freedom I hv in Christ is becoz He has loved me first and set me free.
There is no condemnation in Him. Though, it is true that He who is holy desires us to be holy. Holiness comes fr. Him, not by our might.
The feeling of guilt is a 'alarm' - just like conscience, becoz we were made in His image, to want good.
Tuesday, September 26
something for the day =0)
RoMans 10
verses
5Moses describes in this way the righteousness that is by the law: "The man who does these things will live by them."[a] 6But the righteousness that is by faith says: "Do not say in your heart, 'Who will ascend into heaven?'[b]" (that is, to bring Christ down) 7"or 'Who will descend into the deep?'[c]" (that is, to bring Christ up from the dead). 8But what does it say? "The word is near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart,"[d] that is, the word of faith we are proclaiming: 9That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. 11As the Scripture says, "Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame."[e] 12For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, 13for, "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved."[
verses
5Moses describes in this way the righteousness that is by the law: "The man who does these things will live by them."[a] 6But the righteousness that is by faith says: "Do not say in your heart, 'Who will ascend into heaven?'[b]" (that is, to bring Christ down) 7"or 'Who will descend into the deep?'[c]" (that is, to bring Christ up from the dead). 8But what does it say? "The word is near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart,"[d] that is, the word of faith we are proclaiming: 9That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. 11As the Scripture says, "Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame."[e] 12For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, 13for, "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved."[
Saturday, September 23
fiNaLLy......
hi diary, hv been a while since I had the mood to write.....
down, was down ........feeling i hv a pathetic job and it is becoming meaningless. Haha, almst "fan lian" with a dear colleague whom i was so close to; she was like a mentor/ sister at least.
Very lost in work, very lost in wat i am doing. Sleeping 5-6hrs on average......it is very very bad.
Nearly quarrelled so badly with my father. It seems the good days jus was yest. ! Why ?
(thk God, reconciled and went a 'level' higher...as in understanding and reconciling our differences/ expectations...)
Also, made a mistake typing some silly email, which might not be wrong, but considered too direct by some. It is my weakness, so I am being asked to change again, not to be so direct. Both at work and in normal relationships/friendships. =0)
etc...etc......
Indeed the question is how good do i have to be ?
how much shd i change ?
and, my age is catching up, my anxiety creeps up once again. Can i endure and really believe/ trust in God ?
And esp. when I am emotionally down, i tink of every single, d*** thing in the world, almst like cannot breathe. Silly me.
Busy-ness is such a "in" word in S'pore that it grips most of us, can be quite a disease. We call it kiasu, kiasi and over-worked.
Actually the cancer rate is very high now. Why r Singaporeans not heeding it ? Too much work-stress, performance trap, too much anxiety, want everything, do everything above others..........
Why not consider contentment ?
Nothing is fair and nobody is given fair treatment any time of our lives. There would be bitterneesssss....etc etc....
perhaps the best thing is to learn to let go and trust God. ANd for ME, it is rest, indeeed sufficient rest. Too much i also indulge and dun wana do anythg constructive anymore. YES, work is getting tough and perhaps i am not up to it, etc.etc. Haha, will buck up. ANd yes, my God, everlasting I AM, you will lead me on.....
down, was down ........feeling i hv a pathetic job and it is becoming meaningless. Haha, almst "fan lian" with a dear colleague whom i was so close to; she was like a mentor/ sister at least.
Very lost in work, very lost in wat i am doing. Sleeping 5-6hrs on average......it is very very bad.
Nearly quarrelled so badly with my father. It seems the good days jus was yest. ! Why ?
(thk God, reconciled and went a 'level' higher...as in understanding and reconciling our differences/ expectations...)
Also, made a mistake typing some silly email, which might not be wrong, but considered too direct by some. It is my weakness, so I am being asked to change again, not to be so direct. Both at work and in normal relationships/friendships. =0)
etc...etc......
Indeed the question is how good do i have to be ?
how much shd i change ?
and, my age is catching up, my anxiety creeps up once again. Can i endure and really believe/ trust in God ?
And esp. when I am emotionally down, i tink of every single, d*** thing in the world, almst like cannot breathe. Silly me.
Busy-ness is such a "in" word in S'pore that it grips most of us, can be quite a disease. We call it kiasu, kiasi and over-worked.
Actually the cancer rate is very high now. Why r Singaporeans not heeding it ? Too much work-stress, performance trap, too much anxiety, want everything, do everything above others..........
Why not consider contentment ?
Nothing is fair and nobody is given fair treatment any time of our lives. There would be bitterneesssss....etc etc....
perhaps the best thing is to learn to let go and trust God. ANd for ME, it is rest, indeeed sufficient rest. Too much i also indulge and dun wana do anythg constructive anymore. YES, work is getting tough and perhaps i am not up to it, etc.etc. Haha, will buck up. ANd yes, my God, everlasting I AM, you will lead me on.....
Wednesday, August 23
2nd posting
haha, made a grammar mistake, the first line of my prev. posting shd be 'it has been a while..."
anyway here, i 'extracted' some parts of a MSN conversation i had wif a fren.
actually wat kinda guys do u like ?
B says:
hah..why u asked that????
Me~ says:
becoz whether u are attached again or not...it is good for u to seriously abt it.
B says:
Thats true..i guess criterias are always there..but the miracle of love or meeting the right person may actually make u realize that certain qualites that u used to think u like/want isnt important anymore.
Thats the true power of love i believe.
Me~ says:
no, without knowing urself and knowing who/ person suits u, u will realise the power of love is the power of breakup, as men/ women need something real to 'hold on to longer' ...not jus a feeling...thus sometimes, do not commit
====================================================================
we all fall in love, and also hv pains in lovin'.
I realised and realise that the most impt lesson i hv learnt, and still 'digesting' that ---without knowing ourselves and wat we like/ dislike... abt who/how we really are/ feel/ react, our expectations... ... we might not be able to love well/ ends up loving without commitment, becoz we sometimes dun love ourselves too/ very lost.
you might not agree... some of us love again and again... without knowing so. =0)
anyway here, i 'extracted' some parts of a MSN conversation i had wif a fren.
actually wat kinda guys do u like ?
B says:
hah..why u asked that????
Me~ says:
becoz whether u are attached again or not...it is good for u to seriously abt it.
B says:
Thats true..i guess criterias are always there..but the miracle of love or meeting the right person may actually make u realize that certain qualites that u used to think u like/want isnt important anymore.
Thats the true power of love i believe.
Me~ says:
no, without knowing urself and knowing who/ person suits u, u will realise the power of love is the power of breakup, as men/ women need something real to 'hold on to longer' ...not jus a feeling...thus sometimes, do not commit
====================================================================
we all fall in love, and also hv pains in lovin'.
I realised and realise that the most impt lesson i hv learnt, and still 'digesting' that ---without knowing ourselves and wat we like/ dislike... abt who/how we really are/ feel/ react, our expectations... ... we might not be able to love well/ ends up loving without commitment, becoz we sometimes dun love ourselves too/ very lost.
you might not agree... some of us love again and again... without knowing so. =0)
iNteNtiOns
it is a while since i wrote...
=0) learnt a lot recently, abt myself and abt others. And, abt God.
one main thing I wana share, really wana share is abt intentions.
I realised tat i can be so scheming, and it is really a strength turned into weakness...and can harm pple too.
Seriously, if I dun hv God in my life, I tink I wld be the most subtly, scary, scheming freak.
Intentions can be 'at play' everywhere. Be it in the family, at work, in sch, with frens, in church, ... ... ... ...
Just wat determines the "product/ outcome" of an event, a project, a question, an idea...not just comes fr the process/ work/ efforts put in BUT also the intentions.
Really, so great/ 'mighty' is the intention tat it 'governs' the way the person reacts/ does/ acts/ continues his or her course of work/ direction of the thing.
i discovered all these long ago, but it really is something 'dangerous' for a 'scheming' person like me. Perhaps an inborn trait.
Can be very good, coz once honed, and submitted to God, that which can be dangerous and bad, will make an impact/ produce gd fruits in the end.
Praise God !
SO now, i can hv purer intentions, twds stuff, twrds Family, FrenZ, collEagues, work, etc etc etc...
and i believe truly the HEART is the matter of all.
=0) learnt a lot recently, abt myself and abt others. And, abt God.
one main thing I wana share, really wana share is abt intentions.
I realised tat i can be so scheming, and it is really a strength turned into weakness...and can harm pple too.
Seriously, if I dun hv God in my life, I tink I wld be the most subtly, scary, scheming freak.
Intentions can be 'at play' everywhere. Be it in the family, at work, in sch, with frens, in church, ... ... ... ...
Just wat determines the "product/ outcome" of an event, a project, a question, an idea...not just comes fr the process/ work/ efforts put in BUT also the intentions.
Really, so great/ 'mighty' is the intention tat it 'governs' the way the person reacts/ does/ acts/ continues his or her course of work/ direction of the thing.
i discovered all these long ago, but it really is something 'dangerous' for a 'scheming' person like me. Perhaps an inborn trait.
Can be very good, coz once honed, and submitted to God, that which can be dangerous and bad, will make an impact/ produce gd fruits in the end.
Praise God !
SO now, i can hv purer intentions, twds stuff, twrds Family, FrenZ, collEagues, work, etc etc etc...
and i believe truly the HEART is the matter of all.
Friday, August 18
draw clear boundaries !
angry
colleague angry
i also angry... possibly becoz we are both struggling.
=0)
I am sure I will hv a good day tdy.
colleague angry
i also angry... possibly becoz we are both struggling.
=0)
I am sure I will hv a good day tdy.
give thanks
thankfulness -
for the cheap deals I have got yesterday !
$4 mend a formal skirt - the lady did it nicely
$6.50 mend a pair of shoes- the 'shifu' was skilled and did it nicely
$36.90 nice pair of shoes ! new design
$98 for a nice Nokia HP...... two times nicer and cheaper as i negotiated
DANCE at nite with Touch Dance ! Thk God for the strength and flexibility, though I was away fr Dance and exercise for 3wks... it was a new start.
=0)
for the cheap deals I have got yesterday !
$4 mend a formal skirt - the lady did it nicely
$6.50 mend a pair of shoes- the 'shifu' was skilled and did it nicely
$36.90 nice pair of shoes ! new design
$98 for a nice Nokia HP...... two times nicer and cheaper as i negotiated
DANCE at nite with Touch Dance ! Thk God for the strength and flexibility, though I was away fr Dance and exercise for 3wks... it was a new start.
=0)
Thursday, August 10
different versions........developed thru' the yrs...history...
Just discovered tat a lot of songs hav melodies/ lyrics originate from the gospel and hymns.....
DO pple discover tat and know that there is a huge 'chuck' of similiarities becoz God first created all these ?
Theere are many different versions/ divergents/ versions... hv a lot of pple (pple migrated to diff. countries) with diff. styles tat evolved and developed.
Humans are not evolved...but birthed, created directly from the breath of GOD ! =0)
DO pple discover tat and know that there is a huge 'chuck' of similiarities becoz God first created all these ?
Theere are many different versions/ divergents/ versions... hv a lot of pple (pple migrated to diff. countries) with diff. styles tat evolved and developed.
Humans are not evolved...but birthed, created directly from the breath of GOD ! =0)
Tuesday, August 1
really blessed...huggies..& Lake House !
i ve lotsa to give thks for, but haahaa, nt writing it at this entry.
Hugged my father tonite for the 1st time, and my mum for the 2nd time. I know they love me. I know they love me, i know they love me.
God loves me too. And He gave human parents, earthly parents.
Hmm, will nt go into "so called religion" topic here, but I understd how much parents love and I wana love them.
AND, watched Lake House tonite. Sandra Bullock is gorgeous and 'character!" and Keanu Reeves seemd to be better when older...ha.
=0)
God has set me free !
May I live my life even more meaningfully and bec. a blessing to others.
God bless u too that u might come to know Him.
God is love, there is no fear in His perfect love.
Uhooo
Hugged my father tonite for the 1st time, and my mum for the 2nd time. I know they love me. I know they love me, i know they love me.
God loves me too. And He gave human parents, earthly parents.
Hmm, will nt go into "so called religion" topic here, but I understd how much parents love and I wana love them.
AND, watched Lake House tonite. Sandra Bullock is gorgeous and 'character!" and Keanu Reeves seemd to be better when older...ha.
=0)
God has set me free !
May I live my life even more meaningfully and bec. a blessing to others.
God bless u too that u might come to know Him.
God is love, there is no fear in His perfect love.
Uhooo
Sunday, July 30
Chinese
heng gao xing zhi ji shi hua ren
ye shu (jesus) ye shi ge hua ren de zhu
you xiu duo ren ren wei ye shu shi 'Ang Moh' de zhu.
it does not help that there r many bad examples of christians...
=0)
zai heng jiu heng jiu yi qian,
ye shu wei ren si zai si zhi jia shang
mei you ren he yuan ying
zi ying ta ai ren
God so loves the world that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but hv eternal life
zhe bu si chang shen bu lao
there is life, and death.
Man lives once, how can a man become a dog/ different person ?
ANyway, some of u might never believe me...
jus as a Harvard law professor/ founder who ever did a thorough research on the history and proof of Jesus, sent by God to die on the Cross for mankind.
He has all the proof and historical facts (truth passed down via historical recording as we dun see God in a form/ visible in present days).
YET, he chose to not believe. His words are " you might choose to say that I do not believe, but you may not say that there is any proof /evidence that Jesus does not exist "
"How tough is a man, and stubborn."
I was once so.
Please dun be like me.
One life, one soul, one God.
Could you imagine how Man, any of us would desire the eternity and think of immortality but never thot ----could man, who is so vulnerable of flu, headache, accidents, injuries....etc./ death
ever could attain immortality/ eternal stuff... ? attain enlightenment and be born again ?
Perhaps the main barrier(s) in so many of us, including myself,
was pride, we dun Want OTHERs to tell us, to show us....
then, pls Open your hearts....to the many God have and had continuously send/sent to you............
PLEASE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! esp my family. i really had wished i would die, not for negativity sake, really sometimes it is at wits' end, the issue is not abt me, dun you realise Life does not hold anymore meaning if u come to the end and leave without entering the next 'world', lost, ETERNALLY lost
ye shu (jesus) ye shi ge hua ren de zhu
you xiu duo ren ren wei ye shu shi 'Ang Moh' de zhu.
it does not help that there r many bad examples of christians...
=0)
zai heng jiu heng jiu yi qian,
ye shu wei ren si zai si zhi jia shang
mei you ren he yuan ying
zi ying ta ai ren
God so loves the world that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but hv eternal life
zhe bu si chang shen bu lao
there is life, and death.
Man lives once, how can a man become a dog/ different person ?
ANyway, some of u might never believe me...
jus as a Harvard law professor/ founder who ever did a thorough research on the history and proof of Jesus, sent by God to die on the Cross for mankind.
He has all the proof and historical facts (truth passed down via historical recording as we dun see God in a form/ visible in present days).
YET, he chose to not believe. His words are " you might choose to say that I do not believe, but you may not say that there is any proof /evidence that Jesus does not exist "
"How tough is a man, and stubborn."
I was once so.
Please dun be like me.
One life, one soul, one God.
Could you imagine how Man, any of us would desire the eternity and think of immortality but never thot ----could man, who is so vulnerable of flu, headache, accidents, injuries....etc./ death
ever could attain immortality/ eternal stuff... ? attain enlightenment and be born again ?
Perhaps the main barrier(s) in so many of us, including myself,
was pride, we dun Want OTHERs to tell us, to show us....
then, pls Open your hearts....to the many God have and had continuously send/sent to you............
PLEASE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! esp my family. i really had wished i would die, not for negativity sake, really sometimes it is at wits' end, the issue is not abt me, dun you realise Life does not hold anymore meaning if u come to the end and leave without entering the next 'world', lost, ETERNALLY lost
Friday, July 28
fear....strength...peace and then yeah recovered...done
Think the past two weeks were filled with ups and downs.
Fear, as i had pain, tot really am gg to lose my vital parts and slowly die, and also thot abt all my dreams/ unfulfilled tasks, etc. flashed past my mind.
Strength coz after fear, dun want fear, thus ask God, asked frens and cell grp to pray for me....then PEACE....gd to hear from God thru the frens who prayed and their encouragement. There was a sis-in-christ who even scolded me...heez, coz i was negative, and prepared for the worst kinda person. Tho' i fully trust in God, i dun believe i shd nt be subject to sickness...and to the extent thot: death is good too. Thus, it is a negative mindset which has a "depressing tendency", bad.
I realised, even if i dun fear death, i shd nt look towrds death. God has my life and time in hands, i shd not be asking for death. Certainly nt death as a "Way-out". Tho' i wld never commit suicide, my mind is sort of 'quite often' tending towrrds negativity/prepared-for-the-worst
As i am writing this, jus done my biopsy....thk God for the doctor, Karen Yap and nurse. They really were gentle, friendly and explained quite a bit. And, they were patient to go through the steps to warn me of the 'gun-like' sounds as the needle/equipment went into the lump and 'bang', in, extract, out.
=p
Thk God too for speaking so directly to doc Karen Yap that she knew exactly when to address the question I hv in my mind, and answer the exact queries i hv (abt her and abt the lump).
Most of all, thk God for being there as I sense His protection over me and accurate analysis/ skills performed by the doc.
I could almst hear the breathing from doc Karen Yap- i guess she could sense God's presence. =0)
Thk God for His love !
Fear, as i had pain, tot really am gg to lose my vital parts and slowly die, and also thot abt all my dreams/ unfulfilled tasks, etc. flashed past my mind.
Strength coz after fear, dun want fear, thus ask God, asked frens and cell grp to pray for me....then PEACE....gd to hear from God thru the frens who prayed and their encouragement. There was a sis-in-christ who even scolded me...heez, coz i was negative, and prepared for the worst kinda person. Tho' i fully trust in God, i dun believe i shd nt be subject to sickness...and to the extent thot: death is good too. Thus, it is a negative mindset which has a "depressing tendency", bad.
I realised, even if i dun fear death, i shd nt look towrds death. God has my life and time in hands, i shd not be asking for death. Certainly nt death as a "Way-out". Tho' i wld never commit suicide, my mind is sort of 'quite often' tending towrrds negativity/prepared-for-the-worst
As i am writing this, jus done my biopsy....thk God for the doctor, Karen Yap and nurse. They really were gentle, friendly and explained quite a bit. And, they were patient to go through the steps to warn me of the 'gun-like' sounds as the needle/equipment went into the lump and 'bang', in, extract, out.
=p
Thk God too for speaking so directly to doc Karen Yap that she knew exactly when to address the question I hv in my mind, and answer the exact queries i hv (abt her and abt the lump).
Most of all, thk God for being there as I sense His protection over me and accurate analysis/ skills performed by the doc.
I could almst hear the breathing from doc Karen Yap- i guess she could sense God's presence. =0)
Thk God for His love !
Saturday, July 22
ToDAY
many things happened tdy....
my gd colleague cum fren broke down.....(i) gd, coz she has been vvvv stressed out & overworked....also emotionally & physically down....(ii) gd, coz she got to release and find some comfort in grieving by crying....(iii) vv gd., she sort of reconciled wif a colleague
then i had a difficult time 'explain-clarify-ing' a situation to another client. half expecting a shout frm him really.
in the line of mktg, sometimes it is not abt a mask, becoz i am so myself. it is just tat i am so 'ambitious/competitive' in nature at times that my work attitude is- also, ALL the Way....
sighz. really, being so tat caused me to lose my integrity at times. Thk God He prompts me quite a bit to tell me, wait a minute....dun do tat....etc.
it is like a tight situation for me. THK God for tat colleague!~~~ she is really God sent. up till now, i tink it is only left her as a factor, else i wld hv thrown in my letter. Coz sincerely, after i "woke up" frm being the selfish me, i realise, there is a need to persevere/ hang in there for another...
okok, the part abt the client is this, he is v. emotional, the traditional Chinese-'jiang hu' kind. He would be a loyal customer, but also one without much thot/ calculation.
He was actually 'shivering with anger' as we spoke. And i really thk God. He has given the client some faith in me...despite me using hard marketing tactic. I know the client is terribly shaking.... i sort of hide it (as in the fear tat he wld hv a heart attack) within me...coz i dun wish to see him fall...
AHHhhhhhhhh.
Anyway, both my tat colleague and i are truly planning our exit out of the coy. Not tat it is the coy's intention tat things happened tis way. BUT, we can't do much liao....
and perhaps both of us r sick...we know, TIME is PRECIOUS; our lives shd be more meaningful - both for God and for ourselves.
We cld feel at times "our lives a waste/ work shd be more than a robotic act of earning a livelihood (nt paid rightly anyway for the amt of stress we r undertaking).
..after e meetings - wonder why so many things had happened. bUT anyway, v glad to be OUT of the office.
Met a fren....haha, so happy she and i watching Pirates of the Caribbean II. And, gg to a nice Tong Shui shop for dinner & dessert before the show. Sigh......somethg happened & the food ......yucks....
Hahaaa, dessert -we gave up waiting and went to the opp. shop and .....bad too.
Then we went to Suntec, she ate some porridge, ha....put too much soya.
THEN --- i was enjoying the show & she, fell asleep now and then.
Hope all is well with her and she knows God is speaking and reaching out to her.
AS for me, i realise, i dun like walking home alone at nite. really bad for a lady and quiet....
my gd colleague cum fren broke down.....(i) gd, coz she has been vvvv stressed out & overworked....also emotionally & physically down....(ii) gd, coz she got to release and find some comfort in grieving by crying....(iii) vv gd., she sort of reconciled wif a colleague
then i had a difficult time 'explain-clarify-ing' a situation to another client. half expecting a shout frm him really.
in the line of mktg, sometimes it is not abt a mask, becoz i am so myself. it is just tat i am so 'ambitious/competitive' in nature at times that my work attitude is- also, ALL the Way....
sighz. really, being so tat caused me to lose my integrity at times. Thk God He prompts me quite a bit to tell me, wait a minute....dun do tat....etc.
it is like a tight situation for me. THK God for tat colleague!~~~ she is really God sent. up till now, i tink it is only left her as a factor, else i wld hv thrown in my letter. Coz sincerely, after i "woke up" frm being the selfish me, i realise, there is a need to persevere/ hang in there for another...
okok, the part abt the client is this, he is v. emotional, the traditional Chinese-'jiang hu' kind. He would be a loyal customer, but also one without much thot/ calculation.
He was actually 'shivering with anger' as we spoke. And i really thk God. He has given the client some faith in me...despite me using hard marketing tactic. I know the client is terribly shaking.... i sort of hide it (as in the fear tat he wld hv a heart attack) within me...coz i dun wish to see him fall...
AHHhhhhhhhh.
Anyway, both my tat colleague and i are truly planning our exit out of the coy. Not tat it is the coy's intention tat things happened tis way. BUT, we can't do much liao....
and perhaps both of us r sick...we know, TIME is PRECIOUS; our lives shd be more meaningful - both for God and for ourselves.
We cld feel at times "our lives a waste/ work shd be more than a robotic act of earning a livelihood (nt paid rightly anyway for the amt of stress we r undertaking).
..after e meetings - wonder why so many things had happened. bUT anyway, v glad to be OUT of the office.
Met a fren....haha, so happy she and i watching Pirates of the Caribbean II. And, gg to a nice Tong Shui shop for dinner & dessert before the show. Sigh......somethg happened & the food ......yucks....
Hahaaa, dessert -we gave up waiting and went to the opp. shop and .....bad too.
Then we went to Suntec, she ate some porridge, ha....put too much soya.
THEN --- i was enjoying the show & she, fell asleep now and then.
Hope all is well with her and she knows God is speaking and reaching out to her.
AS for me, i realise, i dun like walking home alone at nite. really bad for a lady and quiet....
Wednesday, July 19
i Love my famiLy- thks to God
this is an extract of wat my bro wrote and also a response to my cousin (whom is talented !!!!!)
----Thk God i hv a family forum (1st one in Mar/Apr 2006, the 2nd one coming up) which has helped many 3rd generation-members (born in 1980s and late 1970s) to communicate (topics such as spending, bgr, generational gap -communication bet. parents and children...) to the 2nd generation (born earlier, my parents, uncles and aunts...). Not all r christians, but i firmly believe God is using many of us (esp. my Sigu-Rachel thks ! =p ...and touching many amg us.
After reading Joon Yah's email... I just couldnt resist the urge to reply. Even as JY has painted the ugliest and most unthinkable picture for the future, I do not deny such a possiblity. But i would rather believe that peace will prevail and that is much to plan for.. No doubt we have reached another impt crossroad of our lives. The A levels would most likely determine where and what course we are taking. And there is nothing worst then studying a subject that we have little interest in. So might as well work a little harder now and spare urself the agony later. The most impt thing here is still to study what u are most interested in and passionate about. There is no "the course" anymore... Often we succumb to the expectation of our parents that we forgo what is impt to us. Actually every occupation has its own forerunners and why should we continue to live in the typical mindset that those who involve in ARTS and SPORTS are less likely to succeed. Anw dont u think the notion of success is not so abt wealthiness but more abt satisfying the spiritual needs and even maintain good living lifestyle and health.. May this could be the centre of discussion this time.. The notion of success and how the 2nd and 3rd generation percieve it.
Oh ya, Joon yan dont be overly despair abt ur results. You fell sick during ur last and most crucial week of preparation and it caused you to underprepare. Actually from the highly interesting and provocative reply, i know ur results are not even a close indication of ur intelligence. Even Chua praised that you have had made tremendous progress. So have faith in urself and work hard. (LOL maybe u can take my offer of staying at my house where we can motivate each other to work hard... although it may sound insane)
Haha... glad to see that we are now actively using technology to communicate. Actually we may seem to be using the computer excessively but actually we are using it to widen out horizon, to enlarge our networks of friends and to increase our knowledge. When was the last time u see me using the com to play computer games? LOL even i cant recall...
One last thing i can remotely sense the sarcasm when joonyan commented that i was a smart poser. It seems to have a negative connotation to it. "Smart" is often related to the muggness and it's definitely something which i dont want to be associate to. And "poser" is even worst... I dont even style my hair like you do...
----Thk God i hv a family forum (1st one in Mar/Apr 2006, the 2nd one coming up) which has helped many 3rd generation-members (born in 1980s and late 1970s) to communicate (topics such as spending, bgr, generational gap -communication bet. parents and children...) to the 2nd generation (born earlier, my parents, uncles and aunts...). Not all r christians, but i firmly believe God is using many of us (esp. my Sigu-Rachel thks ! =p ...and touching many amg us.
After reading Joon Yah's email... I just couldnt resist the urge to reply. Even as JY has painted the ugliest and most unthinkable picture for the future, I do not deny such a possiblity. But i would rather believe that peace will prevail and that is much to plan for.. No doubt we have reached another impt crossroad of our lives. The A levels would most likely determine where and what course we are taking. And there is nothing worst then studying a subject that we have little interest in. So might as well work a little harder now and spare urself the agony later. The most impt thing here is still to study what u are most interested in and passionate about. There is no "the course" anymore... Often we succumb to the expectation of our parents that we forgo what is impt to us. Actually every occupation has its own forerunners and why should we continue to live in the typical mindset that those who involve in ARTS and SPORTS are less likely to succeed. Anw dont u think the notion of success is not so abt wealthiness but more abt satisfying the spiritual needs and even maintain good living lifestyle and health.. May this could be the centre of discussion this time.. The notion of success and how the 2nd and 3rd generation percieve it.
Oh ya, Joon yan dont be overly despair abt ur results. You fell sick during ur last and most crucial week of preparation and it caused you to underprepare. Actually from the highly interesting and provocative reply, i know ur results are not even a close indication of ur intelligence. Even Chua praised that you have had made tremendous progress. So have faith in urself and work hard. (LOL maybe u can take my offer of staying at my house where we can motivate each other to work hard... although it may sound insane)
Haha... glad to see that we are now actively using technology to communicate. Actually we may seem to be using the computer excessively but actually we are using it to widen out horizon, to enlarge our networks of friends and to increase our knowledge. When was the last time u see me using the com to play computer games? LOL even i cant recall...
One last thing i can remotely sense the sarcasm when joonyan commented that i was a smart poser. It seems to have a negative connotation to it. "Smart" is often related to the muggness and it's definitely something which i dont want to be associate to. And "poser" is even worst... I dont even style my hair like you do...
immune system down...
i am a slacker too....i realise, today MC resting at home. Tis yr i tend to and like to sleep a lot. Tot i growing older.....
yes, resisting the work. but God has already promised me strength and wisdom. perhaps i jus wana break away, run away from it. Gosh, hope my whole being energises up.
well, i dun take drugs (except medicine =p), dun take alcohol, need to de-stress sometimes, used to jog... danced more tis yr. but still falling sick... Shd be able to break the pattern SOON !
i ask God to help me Laugh a lot. YES, my cell leader asked me to 'root out all negativity'. It is in me, i know i dun want it. AS a side-all-impt. activity, haha, i shd actively jog again !!!!!
yes, resisting the work. but God has already promised me strength and wisdom. perhaps i jus wana break away, run away from it. Gosh, hope my whole being energises up.
well, i dun take drugs (except medicine =p), dun take alcohol, need to de-stress sometimes, used to jog... danced more tis yr. but still falling sick... Shd be able to break the pattern SOON !
i ask God to help me Laugh a lot. YES, my cell leader asked me to 'root out all negativity'. It is in me, i know i dun want it. AS a side-all-impt. activity, haha, i shd actively jog again !!!!!
We r All on a Journey.....He is with us
For I the Lord do not change; therefore you, O children of Jacob, have not perished. (Malachi 3:6 NRS)
The biblical story of ancient Israel's 40-year pilgrimage from Egypt through desert territory to the Promised Land becomes a metaphor for all of life to those who know it at all. We are all caught up in the story. We are all on a journey.
Most of us, however, seem to prefer a life with minimal change. We don't like to be disturbed. So we carve out routines. The early-in-life spectacular discoveries become customary and ordinary. What once made us feel the flush of excitement comes to be seen as normal and expected. And life becomes dreary.
You know that dull man or woman who hasn't entertained a new thought in a decade, don't you? She is critical of practically all that is for the simple reason that things are not as they used to be. He doesn't just reminisce but positively pines for the past. No, he lets his memory make the past far more glamorous than it ever was and lets it be known that he resents that things have changed.
It may be as trivial as technology or as monumental as the nature of morality. When people long for the "good old days" of their youth, I sometimes ask — depending on their generation — if they would really prefer life before penicillin or power steering, telephones or computers, air conditioning or coronary bypass surgery. More seriously, I may ask if they truly want to return to a time when women couldn't vote, segregation kept schools and churches monolithic, and children had precious few legal protections against abuse.
Change is always a challenge and can be positively unsettling. But it is also opportunity. It offers the chance to learn new things. It introduces us to new people. It forces us to make decisions and choices at a conscious level.
God is already where you are going. Whether individuals or families, corporations or churches, people who set their feet (or minds) in concrete are hiding from reality. They are even being untrue to their divine calling. God calls us to live in confidence and hope, not fear. He asks us to believe — as did Abraham and Sarah, Moses and the Israelites, Paul and Barnabas — that he is already present in the places that are new and untested for us. He is faithful to his people. We are on a journey with God.
You get an unwelcome diagnosis. The company transfers you. Some key person to your life dies. A dream fails to come true. Someone disappoints you terribly. The temporary and passing nature of reality confronts you directly.
Imagine you are in camp with Moses. The call to strike the tents has been given. It is time to move ahead with joy in faith that God is already where you are going.
The biblical story of ancient Israel's 40-year pilgrimage from Egypt through desert territory to the Promised Land becomes a metaphor for all of life to those who know it at all. We are all caught up in the story. We are all on a journey.
Most of us, however, seem to prefer a life with minimal change. We don't like to be disturbed. So we carve out routines. The early-in-life spectacular discoveries become customary and ordinary. What once made us feel the flush of excitement comes to be seen as normal and expected. And life becomes dreary.
You know that dull man or woman who hasn't entertained a new thought in a decade, don't you? She is critical of practically all that is for the simple reason that things are not as they used to be. He doesn't just reminisce but positively pines for the past. No, he lets his memory make the past far more glamorous than it ever was and lets it be known that he resents that things have changed.
It may be as trivial as technology or as monumental as the nature of morality. When people long for the "good old days" of their youth, I sometimes ask — depending on their generation — if they would really prefer life before penicillin or power steering, telephones or computers, air conditioning or coronary bypass surgery. More seriously, I may ask if they truly want to return to a time when women couldn't vote, segregation kept schools and churches monolithic, and children had precious few legal protections against abuse.
Change is always a challenge and can be positively unsettling. But it is also opportunity. It offers the chance to learn new things. It introduces us to new people. It forces us to make decisions and choices at a conscious level.
God is already where you are going. Whether individuals or families, corporations or churches, people who set their feet (or minds) in concrete are hiding from reality. They are even being untrue to their divine calling. God calls us to live in confidence and hope, not fear. He asks us to believe — as did Abraham and Sarah, Moses and the Israelites, Paul and Barnabas — that he is already present in the places that are new and untested for us. He is faithful to his people. We are on a journey with God.
You get an unwelcome diagnosis. The company transfers you. Some key person to your life dies. A dream fails to come true. Someone disappoints you terribly. The temporary and passing nature of reality confronts you directly.
Imagine you are in camp with Moses. The call to strike the tents has been given. It is time to move ahead with joy in faith that God is already where you are going.
the decision-making process is changed !
the little lump in my breast is quite Biiigggg... nope, it didnt grow. But is changed during the women's time of the mth...as in can feel it more.
going to the doc again. God, help me....i dun know wat to do. But whatever happens, help !!!!!!!!!!!
i tink having it really changed me, taught me how to be more focused, diligent and also want to be more loving. And in decisions too, maybe I cannot jus tink abt finding a partner, it has to be God; else the partner cannot endure watever i have to endure....
having the lump does change my life, and my perspective towards life, incl. my work, my ministry, my frens and imptly, my family too
going to the doc again. God, help me....i dun know wat to do. But whatever happens, help !!!!!!!!!!!
i tink having it really changed me, taught me how to be more focused, diligent and also want to be more loving. And in decisions too, maybe I cannot jus tink abt finding a partner, it has to be God; else the partner cannot endure watever i have to endure....
having the lump does change my life, and my perspective towards life, incl. my work, my ministry, my frens and imptly, my family too
Tuesday, July 18
Have an affirming/ encouraging word today !
Dove award-winning singer/songwriter Nichole Nordeman to share some thoughts on the ministry of encouraging words...
I doubt many people would argue about the power of the spoken word.
We don't need a master's in psychology to know that our hearts leap at the sound of affirming words. It's just how God wired us. Any co-worker with a new hairdo will agree. Any toddler who is potty training or husband who just closed the "big deal" will nod emphatically as well. We possess a tremendous ability to very simply "make someone's day" with heartfelt praise or to even alter the course of a life with the power of our words.
Oprah, Bill Gates, and Tiger Woods have all, at one point, attributed their early success to the empowering encouragement of someone else. Perhaps it was just a small phrase or statement, but one that was instrumental in building up or perhaps even just holding up hope and belief for a brief second. That can be all the time it takes to get someone to look at the mirror differently.
Conversely, it doesn't take that same graduate degree to know that the power of words can be unleashed as perhaps the most primitive of weapons. Most of us would agree that whoever penned that little ditty about "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" was obviously never a fifth grader. Words can not only hurt, but they can leave shrapnel in the soul long after the explosion hits and the smoke clears. Next time you need a reminder about the power of the negative word, dust off the book of James. It's been said that the tongue is the strongest muscle in the body. I think the spirit would agree.
So... having taken a moment to consider the power and impact of both our life-giving, affirming words as well as the life-robbing, destructive power of the tongue... here's one more thought to chew on, (pardon the pun). What about the power of words never spoken? For me, I can look back on my life and count too many times when I'd wished I'd listened to my gut (and the Holy Spirit) and just had the courage to open my mouth and let my heart spill out, regardless of the awkward moment. You've heard the rather overused challenge to live each day as it if were your last... but there is real wisdom there. Why wait to say "I love you?" Why wait one more day to forgive? Or to ask for forgiveness? There is a reason that Paul, in Ephesians 4, encourages us not to let the sun go down on our anger. Perhaps because he knew, as a hunted and persecuted man, that a sunrise the next morning was not something to b e assumed. He understood, better than anyone, the importance of keeping his accounts short.
Say it now. Go there. The tongue might be powerful, but so are clenched teeth and a firmly set jaw. And silence can speak volumes we never meant to say. Matthew 12:34 reminds us that what is in our hearts, will come spilling out of our mouths. If your heart is full today, or even broken, consider springing a leak and letting someone know. The relief and healing that may follow will make you a believer in the power of words, all over again.
Nichole Nordeman
Dove Award-Winning Singer/Songwriter
I doubt many people would argue about the power of the spoken word.
We don't need a master's in psychology to know that our hearts leap at the sound of affirming words. It's just how God wired us. Any co-worker with a new hairdo will agree. Any toddler who is potty training or husband who just closed the "big deal" will nod emphatically as well. We possess a tremendous ability to very simply "make someone's day" with heartfelt praise or to even alter the course of a life with the power of our words.
Oprah, Bill Gates, and Tiger Woods have all, at one point, attributed their early success to the empowering encouragement of someone else. Perhaps it was just a small phrase or statement, but one that was instrumental in building up or perhaps even just holding up hope and belief for a brief second. That can be all the time it takes to get someone to look at the mirror differently.
Conversely, it doesn't take that same graduate degree to know that the power of words can be unleashed as perhaps the most primitive of weapons. Most of us would agree that whoever penned that little ditty about "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" was obviously never a fifth grader. Words can not only hurt, but they can leave shrapnel in the soul long after the explosion hits and the smoke clears. Next time you need a reminder about the power of the negative word, dust off the book of James. It's been said that the tongue is the strongest muscle in the body. I think the spirit would agree.
So... having taken a moment to consider the power and impact of both our life-giving, affirming words as well as the life-robbing, destructive power of the tongue... here's one more thought to chew on, (pardon the pun). What about the power of words never spoken? For me, I can look back on my life and count too many times when I'd wished I'd listened to my gut (and the Holy Spirit) and just had the courage to open my mouth and let my heart spill out, regardless of the awkward moment. You've heard the rather overused challenge to live each day as it if were your last... but there is real wisdom there. Why wait to say "I love you?" Why wait one more day to forgive? Or to ask for forgiveness? There is a reason that Paul, in Ephesians 4, encourages us not to let the sun go down on our anger. Perhaps because he knew, as a hunted and persecuted man, that a sunrise the next morning was not something to b e assumed. He understood, better than anyone, the importance of keeping his accounts short.
Say it now. Go there. The tongue might be powerful, but so are clenched teeth and a firmly set jaw. And silence can speak volumes we never meant to say. Matthew 12:34 reminds us that what is in our hearts, will come spilling out of our mouths. If your heart is full today, or even broken, consider springing a leak and letting someone know. The relief and healing that may follow will make you a believer in the power of words, all over again.
Nichole Nordeman
Dove Award-Winning Singer/Songwriter
Monday, July 17
Wednesday, July 12
a Sudden SurGe....
i hv tis sudden happenings tat i Wana wRite here ....
27 for 1+mth---reviewed suddenly;
Sudden groWth in me as a person...
as a sis....as a daughter, as a fren...as a christian; child of God...
(i) no longer so perfectionistic;
(ii) so impatient;
(iii) so selfish;
(iv) so arrogant;
(v) so fearful;
(vi) so ashamed;
(vii) so silly;
(viii) so wishy-washy;
(ix) learning new things;
(x) reading faster;
(xi) picking up singing;
(xii) determination to do better at work;
(xiii)more feminine....
etc; etc...
hope it only gets betta....whoa, it will. Thks God and all my frens and family !
LOLx
27 for 1+mth---reviewed suddenly;
Sudden groWth in me as a person...
as a sis....as a daughter, as a fren...as a christian; child of God...
(i) no longer so perfectionistic;
(ii) so impatient;
(iii) so selfish;
(iv) so arrogant;
(v) so fearful;
(vi) so ashamed;
(vii) so silly;
(viii) so wishy-washy;
(ix) learning new things;
(x) reading faster;
(xi) picking up singing;
(xii) determination to do better at work;
(xiii)more feminine....
etc; etc...
hope it only gets betta....whoa, it will. Thks God and all my frens and family !
LOLx
Friday, July 7
for all my fRensz.....
actualli this posting is really for my frens....esp Shirl, Est., Sharon, Ailing... Jo, Pat, Lee2, G, etc etc etc, Em, P, Wei,.....Run, esp NYGH frens V and Sf too, and njcC05 bunch.
i know i havent been able to really meet up and spend QUALITY time wif u all...
much as i hv tried..i actually am v pressed at all sides and cannt meet tat often; dun know how to explain
Really really wana say SORRy.
Sorry, coz i am so selfish, made frenship like so "diluted" over the mths, yrs...now
and so hard to devote myself to u fully / more than now.
i cannt meet the usual frens one-to-one too....but doing the gatherings in groups if possible.
It is a "tearing apart feeling" whenever i reach hm after meeting u all as i feel it is so "diluted" and not a in-depth frenship... and the feeling of Ooooo when i hv to say no, cant, got sthg. Actually i do fall ill and coz i duno how at times to handle....many r envious of me having so many frens, but little or nil do they know i hv to prioritise a lot, "as in personal time/space sacrifice" [nt tat i hate it, but sometimes it does get into me-negative].
HowEver, i realise i cant be god, cant be everywhere at everytime wif everyone, so i say sorry and move on (as in the depth element). I am spread quite thinly i know.
i know frenships are not jus abt meeting (which is impt too). I know i will lose few or many of you. esp. u all move on too.
THANKS TO ALL OF YOU FOR STILL REGARDING ME AS A FREN and for Being There and PArt of my Life.....
i know i havent been able to really meet up and spend QUALITY time wif u all...
much as i hv tried..i actually am v pressed at all sides and cannt meet tat often; dun know how to explain
Really really wana say SORRy.
Sorry, coz i am so selfish, made frenship like so "diluted" over the mths, yrs...now
and so hard to devote myself to u fully / more than now.
i cannt meet the usual frens one-to-one too....but doing the gatherings in groups if possible.
It is a "tearing apart feeling" whenever i reach hm after meeting u all as i feel it is so "diluted" and not a in-depth frenship... and the feeling of Ooooo when i hv to say no, cant, got sthg. Actually i do fall ill and coz i duno how at times to handle....many r envious of me having so many frens, but little or nil do they know i hv to prioritise a lot, "as in personal time/space sacrifice" [nt tat i hate it, but sometimes it does get into me-negative].
HowEver, i realise i cant be god, cant be everywhere at everytime wif everyone, so i say sorry and move on (as in the depth element). I am spread quite thinly i know.
i know frenships are not jus abt meeting (which is impt too). I know i will lose few or many of you. esp. u all move on too.
THANKS TO ALL OF YOU FOR STILL REGARDING ME AS A FREN and for Being There and PArt of my Life.....
very tireEEdddddddddd
sigh, so tired of work - or rather, my present work.
it is THINK, OUT fROm the BOX
instd of think out of the box
get it ?
it is THINK, OUT fROm the BOX
instd of think out of the box
get it ?
Monday, July 3
no Way Out ???
aHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.AHhhhhAAAAHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
very stressed at woRk.
God, no more brain juice and enthusiasm with regards to the work/assignment which i am handling....How ?
it cannot be so. i dun believe it has to end like this.
Anyways, with regards to my health, i need to fight. Fight the viruses, fight the "ill-prone" tendency i have...fight the yrs of silly reliance on medicine.
My mom is right, i have to do somethg abt my lifestyle...i need sufficient rest as my body constitution is weaker.
very stressed at woRk.
God, no more brain juice and enthusiasm with regards to the work/assignment which i am handling....How ?
it cannot be so. i dun believe it has to end like this.
Anyways, with regards to my health, i need to fight. Fight the viruses, fight the "ill-prone" tendency i have...fight the yrs of silly reliance on medicine.
My mom is right, i have to do somethg abt my lifestyle...i need sufficient rest as my body constitution is weaker.
Thursday, June 29
Me, me, me
I suddenly hv this realisation and i decided to pen it down asap, at Blogspot....haha, wanted to do it on Friendster. But not able to do it rite now.
i am of a marriageable age, and also an age to hv a family. =0) decided it is time to review my love life...hmmm, i am eligible and attractive, but why aren't there suitors/ a boyfriend in sight ?
love is a grey area for me. i tot it deludes me..... maybe now, next time, forever....
then, i realised, ah maybe i really am hiding fr LOve, firstly, becoz i myself cannot love myself, secondly, i cannot love a person who does not "meet my expectations" and thirdly, i fear to "expose" who i really am.
Perhaps the "attitude" i hv towards love is - not let myself be hurt, thus love can wait . =0)
or perhaps, ....perhaps.... perhaps....
THEN, the realisation, i realise i hv nt been able to present myself just as i am !
AND thus, usu. the first impression fades away and guys dun really get interested as they dun get to see "ME" -- i.e. real me.
Akan Datang.
i am of a marriageable age, and also an age to hv a family. =0) decided it is time to review my love life...hmmm, i am eligible and attractive, but why aren't there suitors/ a boyfriend in sight ?
love is a grey area for me. i tot it deludes me..... maybe now, next time, forever....
then, i realised, ah maybe i really am hiding fr LOve, firstly, becoz i myself cannot love myself, secondly, i cannot love a person who does not "meet my expectations" and thirdly, i fear to "expose" who i really am.
Perhaps the "attitude" i hv towards love is - not let myself be hurt, thus love can wait . =0)
or perhaps, ....perhaps.... perhaps....
THEN, the realisation, i realise i hv nt been able to present myself just as i am !
AND thus, usu. the first impression fades away and guys dun really get interested as they dun get to see "ME" -- i.e. real me.
Akan Datang.
Copied fr a new Fren.....Prayer for a husband. iiDeSuNE !
Anyway, here it goes:"Lord God, Your Word declares that if i delight myself in You--if i enjoy You & seek Your pleasure above mine--You will give me the desires of my heart(Ps. 37:4). Desiring a husband is neither evil nor selfish bcos marriage is honorable (Heb. 13:4).At the beginning of creation You proclaimed, "It is not good that man shld be alone" and then You created Eve to be a suitable partner for Adam (Gen 2:18). In the name of Jesus, I ask that You would release the husband--a suitable partner--You have chosen for me.Becos the covenant of marriage is sacred (Mark 10:9), I ask for a man of God.Please give me a husband whose love for me is out-matched only by His love for You. A man who will cherish me and build me up (Prov 31:28). A man who will honor me (1 Peter 3:7) and our marriage vows. A man who is a good father and provider. A man whom i will be attracted to physically, emotionally, and spiritually. A man who will love me as Christ loved the church (Eph 5:25).Restrain me from attaching myself to another man out of desperation. I will not settle for a relationship tat is second best, convenient, or one that feeds my insecurities. Guard my purity, and give me the patience to wait. And when I meet him, confirm to me that he's the one.Release from me the baggage of past relationships, and prepare me for the man You have chosen to be my husband. Free me from any hindrances to a healthy n godly marriage: insecurities, habitual sins, selfishness, emotional hurts. Dispel my unrealistic expectations tat set me up for disappointment. I place my trust in You than my partner.In this period of waiting I will look to You to be my companion n best friend. You are the One who redeems my life frm the pit, who crowns me with love n compassion, who satisfies my desires with good things (Ps 103:4-5 NIV). I will not be anxious, but as I present my requests to You, flood me with e peace tat surpasses all understanding so my heart n my mind are guarded in Christ Jesus (Phil 4:6-7).In this request, I commit myself to trust You and do good, to dwell in the land n feed on Your faithfulness, I commit my way to You n trust tat You will bring it to pass (Ps 37:3-5). "[And the LORD God said,"It is not good that man shld be alone, I will make him a helper comparable to him." (Gen 2:18 NKJV)]
moRe aBt e reCent life i hv
geezzzz. finally wanting to be more regular in blogging again.
The present tasks at my workplace are quite a challenge. Sigh, the ones i can tink thru' and solve, I tried. For thosse I can't, told the bosss, he still doesn't get it.
Some more, keep pressing me, pressing my colleague. We R not god and he does not hv the right marketing direction, so hapzard and little renumeration for us !
There are many things happening in my life, after the lump. There is life !
hehe, a lot of ups n downs.
Aniways, i am gg for a new job this yr. Definite. Praying for it. Working towrds it. Had many interviews. Am gg to clinch one good one !!!!!! Jus tat my colleague whom i hv been veri close wif is sad. she seems and is so de-motivated...ooooo
AND praying a lot for myself, my dream and hope.
=0)
CHEeRS
The present tasks at my workplace are quite a challenge. Sigh, the ones i can tink thru' and solve, I tried. For thosse I can't, told the bosss, he still doesn't get it.
Some more, keep pressing me, pressing my colleague. We R not god and he does not hv the right marketing direction, so hapzard and little renumeration for us !
There are many things happening in my life, after the lump. There is life !
hehe, a lot of ups n downs.
Aniways, i am gg for a new job this yr. Definite. Praying for it. Working towrds it. Had many interviews. Am gg to clinch one good one !!!!!! Jus tat my colleague whom i hv been veri close wif is sad. she seems and is so de-motivated...ooooo
AND praying a lot for myself, my dream and hope.
=0)
CHEeRS
Wednesday, June 28
i hv a question
i recently realised sthg abt myself.... i avoid a lot of things.
i avoid falling in love with a person
i avoid going into a job which i can't find security in
i avoid facing a problematic colleague
and when i avoid, i use the silent treatment,..........
i avoid falling in love with a person
i avoid going into a job which i can't find security in
i avoid facing a problematic colleague
and when i avoid, i use the silent treatment,..........
Thursday, June 15
very stresSSedd at work....
dear Diary....
very very very stressed at work !
How, how to think out of the box when there are legal implications ?
Was 'whacked' by the clients...
now the boss and senior colleague pressing me to fill up the occupancy when i really hv no idea how to ?
cannot, must break the negative mindset, and chiong to get new clients.
very very very stressed at work !
How, how to think out of the box when there are legal implications ?
Was 'whacked' by the clients...
now the boss and senior colleague pressing me to fill up the occupancy when i really hv no idea how to ?
cannot, must break the negative mindset, and chiong to get new clients.
Tuesday, June 13
guyS.......
finally got the guts to write this publicly here....haha, not tat it helps much coz i seldom see my frens logging on to read my blog nowadays.
(i) i tink guys shd be brave
brave enuff the tell the gal that they like
wat's the point of being a guy if not being able to say ?
i almost wish i could be a guy, tat i might tell the person i like....
(ii) i tink guys shd be 'protective' of gals so tat if they are 'testing' waters,
DO NOT, i repeat, DO NOT lead the gal on or express anythg till they are 70% sure they
want to be committed.
last but not least,
(iii) guys shd be less perfectionistic....not every gal can be totally secure, independent, and still look so gorgeous....coz women do depend on men somehow to be led by them - especially in tough decisions.....
(i) i tink guys shd be brave
brave enuff the tell the gal that they like
wat's the point of being a guy if not being able to say ?
i almost wish i could be a guy, tat i might tell the person i like....
(ii) i tink guys shd be 'protective' of gals so tat if they are 'testing' waters,
DO NOT, i repeat, DO NOT lead the gal on or express anythg till they are 70% sure they
want to be committed.
last but not least,
(iii) guys shd be less perfectionistic....not every gal can be totally secure, independent, and still look so gorgeous....coz women do depend on men somehow to be led by them - especially in tough decisions.....
Monday, June 5
need to release....
am so stressed recently....
teared when i was wif the doctor last Sat
sigh.....the nurse has attitude problem ?!
had waited for 2hrs (yes, i acknowledge tat it is usu. on Sat, in a popular clinic)
and then asked her 2times how many patients more.... and then, she allowed two children's parents to 'intercept'. Reason - they are children, shd see the doctor first.
I wanted to go direct to the doctor when the next time she comes out and let her know. Coz i hv a next doctor's appt at 3pm and the time is ticking quickly by ~!!!!!
gosh, or maybe it is me, too anxious and no patience liao.
anyway, my mum stood up for me and told the nurse 1 more time and got ticked.
sigh, and me, being distressed, scolded her after the whole visit, .....
BAd me.
just becoz i felt she has 'ruined' my plan of going directly to the doc. for [the smart-aleck] i had thot to myself --- the nurse is the wrong person to tok to anymore ! go direct to the doc.
I need to let go.
Need to rest,
GOD, help !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
glad finally i am going for Worship Encounter retreat this Thur to Sat.
too many things on my mind, too many stuff I wana break-away from.
and my poor colleague receiving so much 'horrible s***' from tenants and family. she has much on her shoulders too.
GOD, grant us strength !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and coolness when all the bad things start to crop up & cause us stress.
teared when i was wif the doctor last Sat
sigh.....the nurse has attitude problem ?!
had waited for 2hrs (yes, i acknowledge tat it is usu. on Sat, in a popular clinic)
and then asked her 2times how many patients more.... and then, she allowed two children's parents to 'intercept'. Reason - they are children, shd see the doctor first.
I wanted to go direct to the doctor when the next time she comes out and let her know. Coz i hv a next doctor's appt at 3pm and the time is ticking quickly by ~!!!!!
gosh, or maybe it is me, too anxious and no patience liao.
anyway, my mum stood up for me and told the nurse 1 more time and got ticked.
sigh, and me, being distressed, scolded her after the whole visit, .....
BAd me.
just becoz i felt she has 'ruined' my plan of going directly to the doc. for [the smart-aleck] i had thot to myself --- the nurse is the wrong person to tok to anymore ! go direct to the doc.
I need to let go.
Need to rest,
GOD, help !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
glad finally i am going for Worship Encounter retreat this Thur to Sat.
too many things on my mind, too many stuff I wana break-away from.
and my poor colleague receiving so much 'horrible s***' from tenants and family. she has much on her shoulders too.
GOD, grant us strength !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and coolness when all the bad things start to crop up & cause us stress.
Tuesday, May 30
my job...
O God, I really feel like resigning. There is no passion, no desire to wake up in the morning to go to work.
it is very bad.....God, pls bless me with a new job.
it is very bad.....God, pls bless me with a new job.
Monday, May 29
finally decided
lump is non-cancerous, but doc recommends an operation to remove it as it is a solid lump.
hmm....quite a shock as the scan has showed the lump to be slightly big. Hv to think thru' if I shd go for the operation....even tho' minor.
(i) cost
(ii) MC required---tis tied in to my work and commitments required
(iii) wanted to change job, thus the timing for an op. is impt.
FINALLY.....having tot thru' and prayed abt wat i hv to do and include in the plan ahead if i shd change job.
A) wait for 2mths
B) these 2mths would go for some Chinese medicine, and
(c) after 2mths, i.e. by end JULY shd hv 2nd scan, tat it has grown, immed. go for operation. Coz i am still praying for supernatural healing by God too. If it does not grow, and blessed, it diminishes substantially, I will know God is healing and need not go for the operation !!!!!!!
hmm....quite a shock as the scan has showed the lump to be slightly big. Hv to think thru' if I shd go for the operation....even tho' minor.
(i) cost
(ii) MC required---tis tied in to my work and commitments required
(iii) wanted to change job, thus the timing for an op. is impt.
FINALLY.....having tot thru' and prayed abt wat i hv to do and include in the plan ahead if i shd change job.
A) wait for 2mths
B) these 2mths would go for some Chinese medicine, and
(c) after 2mths, i.e. by end JULY shd hv 2nd scan, tat it has grown, immed. go for operation. Coz i am still praying for supernatural healing by God too. If it does not grow, and blessed, it diminishes substantially, I will know God is healing and need not go for the operation !!!!!!!
ultrasound scan........
=0) went for the ultrasound scan last Sat and had the opportunity to 'experience' what it really means like to be anxious over my body's health.
probably felt anxiety for the first time after so, so, so long...
the feeling is like a bit lost n scared of death.
yet i know God holds my future, everything in the process.
the nice radiologist lady asked me some qns....like if i chk regularly, how did i discover...
YES, the discovery is miraculous.
Tat day when i first discovered the lump, it was only becoz i saw a red-dot slightly above the spot--> like a mosquito bite; and i tot to myself " how can a mosquito bite there ?
tat is how i realised there is a lump.
probably felt anxiety for the first time after so, so, so long...
the feeling is like a bit lost n scared of death.
yet i know God holds my future, everything in the process.
the nice radiologist lady asked me some qns....like if i chk regularly, how did i discover...
YES, the discovery is miraculous.
Tat day when i first discovered the lump, it was only becoz i saw a red-dot slightly above the spot--> like a mosquito bite; and i tot to myself " how can a mosquito bite there ?
tat is how i realised there is a lump.
Tuesday, May 23
yeah !!!!!! and then abt job...
yeah !
tis morn finally went to doc to checkup. Doc says the lump is NON-cancerous. she advised to go for a ultrascan and determine if need operation to remove.
hmmm....life is precious. Will be positive even in bad times.
As for Work.....really 'hitting the wall', marketing efforts not good enough. GOD help !!!!!!!!!!!!
besides working hard, really need help to breakthrough of this 'bottleneck' in my present project...and coz boss is really not honorable, need to get a new job to move on.
tis morn finally went to doc to checkup. Doc says the lump is NON-cancerous. she advised to go for a ultrascan and determine if need operation to remove.
hmmm....life is precious. Will be positive even in bad times.
As for Work.....really 'hitting the wall', marketing efforts not good enough. GOD help !!!!!!!!!!!!
besides working hard, really need help to breakthrough of this 'bottleneck' in my present project...and coz boss is really not honorable, need to get a new job to move on.
Sunday, May 21
deaR DiAry....
hmm....i managed to blade today !!!!!!!!!!!!!
yeah, finally, affter NUAN-ing for 1 whole week.....=0)
cold at first, think the fear of me getting cancer has 'infected' my view of my body
SO, it is good to exercise and feel healthy again !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yeah, finally, affter NUAN-ing for 1 whole week.....=0)
cold at first, think the fear of me getting cancer has 'infected' my view of my body
SO, it is good to exercise and feel healthy again !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, May 19
Women -- can we trust the opposite gender ?
Women....indecisive creatures....yet sometimes so shrewd and 'actiony'
Women, created with such tenacity, sometimes smothering others in a way no other can compare....
The WorkPlace in present time is not at all a happy one, nor one that is suitable for humans !
Men and women fight, men and women can hv differing views.
It is good if they do reconcile, peaceable working relationship. If not, the work gets less important, BOTH can get v.bitchy ---> both get back at eah other --even if it means going all out of the way. tat is also why there's more & more gays and lesbians around....
There is always the better side of women....the motherly instincts...Mothers are sacrificial in nature, by large.
Women, created with such tenacity, sometimes smothering others in a way no other can compare....
The WorkPlace in present time is not at all a happy one, nor one that is suitable for humans !
Men and women fight, men and women can hv differing views.
It is good if they do reconcile, peaceable working relationship. If not, the work gets less important, BOTH can get v.bitchy ---> both get back at eah other --even if it means going all out of the way. tat is also why there's more & more gays and lesbians around....
There is always the better side of women....the motherly instincts...Mothers are sacrificial in nature, by large.
Start writing in this Cloud&Rainbow BLOG again !!!!!!!
I need to start writing in the BLOG again.
There are many things tat happened recently.
I have learnt tat not many things in life are nice.
Sad and happy things both have a part - emotions are at play becoz of events.
Mainly I started to write here again becoz I hv discovered a little lump in my body. If it is cancerous, I want to be able to share.
There are many things tat happened recently.
I have learnt tat not many things in life are nice.
Sad and happy things both have a part - emotions are at play becoz of events.
Mainly I started to write here again becoz I hv discovered a little lump in my body. If it is cancerous, I want to be able to share.
Wednesday, February 15
quarrelSoMe me.....
my mood is alrite... but dunno wat i shd do/ how i shd change. quarrelled with my parents, my bro, my frens....
i am alright wif other pple, just these few, some of whom i love even deeper than the rest...
i am alright wif other pple, just these few, some of whom i love even deeper than the rest...
Tuesday, January 24
trUly Happie Meee ! - 2006
I love to share (abt things, food, etc), and love diversity in people....am fun-loVing, sensible, VeRi k-po, sincere, not funny...haha. Loves f00d, dAnCiNg for leisure/creative moment, explore new things such as sports. I seriously think God is cool -better than Evian, living waters like a fountain. He is LOVE. Maybe guys will find Him in a diff. way..., He is like the lOve tat grants U strength n security... Of all the romantic shows I hv watched and all the immense pressure knOwing frens r attached n attending many weddings since 2002.... He grants me excitemt and hope to find lOve not just in a person but in addition to complement the person - which i guess took me 10 yrs to understd n believe. Yr 2006 will start to train for the 21km & a New Job/ passion in job...and more ballet/dance. No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. - 1 Corinthians 10:13 James 1 --starting from verse 6 "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously...however when you doubt, do not think that you will receive anything, coz you will be tossed back and forth.
Monday, January 16
Back From London
I am back fr London....great to be bk in Spore...
sort of jet lag a little.........
will go sleep and share again when i return to my blog ~ !
sort of jet lag a little.........
will go sleep and share again when i return to my blog ~ !
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